You are now the protagonist of the last novel you read

>The Return of the King
Am I Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merry or Aragorn?

Living the comfy farming life

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>canada used to be a rugged agrarian anglo-saxon dominion
>now it's a bunch of assorted swarthoids shoved into like three americanized cities and our national identity is the fact that we don't have a national identity
what the FUCK went wrong

Blood Meridian.

FUCKED

My husband got killed by a parrot and now some dork from 52 years ago wants to fuck.

Probs overdosing in soma and playing cricket-zero-gravity-reverse-baseball or shit to numb the pain of living in a state Hitler could only dream of. That or packing my bag to go to the Falklands for freedom.

It's off-brand America

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Fed up with life I went to adventure with a devil

I must enquire you now, my dear friend, do not hide the knowledge of this protagonism from me.

>Finnegans Wake

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This is an ominous post because i just read Phaedo and lately I've been having recurring dreams of myself drinking hemlock à la Socrates. What's the significance? Can someone analyze my dreams

EXPLAIN HOW TO GET IN THE CASTLE TO ME OR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! DON'T DUMB IT DOWN INTO SOME VAGUE SHIT! EXPLAIN HOW TO GET IN THE CASTLE TO ME RIGHT NOW OR I'LL LITERALLY FUCKING KILL YOU! WHAT THE FUCK IS A CASTELLAN? WHY THE FUCK ARE THE PHONES BUZZING? DON'T DUMB IT DOWN OR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU

100 Years of Solitude

I don't know who the protagonist was in that. I had a hard enough time telling the characters apart because they're all named the goddamn same.
Maybe the solitude is the protagonist. If I get to choose I'll want to be the guy with the enormous cock.

American Psycho.
Probably an improvement.

>Hunger
It'd be a fucking mess, but a Yea Forums one.

>TCLo49
Paranoia hell with flying hairspray cans

The protagonist has lived over 100 years ago. So yeah, the grave is pretty comfy I guess.

I am Frantz fanon
Fuck white people

I'm the most violent man alive.

Notes from Underground
basically the same, except I get laid

Achilles. So now I'm stronger than any living men, have a terrible temper, unmeasured pride and might be gay for someone whom I will never meet. Guess I'll join the army and try to kill as many people as I can; I doubt I will reach the real Achilles's fame by killing terrorists and guerrillas in the desert.

Azincourt.

On the one hand, I'm surrounded by dysentery and half starved, but on the other, I get to kill Frenchmen, so swings and roundabouts.

>endymion
Oh boy I get to sperg my way into an interstellar war between cybersatan and fleshsatan.

Wish you faggots would not add the actual title of the work but let other anons guess, see:
most likely Goethe - Faust
:)
I work for the IRS

Aeronaut's Windlass

>ronin steampunk sky-police

I'd rather just read books.

I sulk for a days after my girl gets stolen from me and only come out to help in battle when my best friend gets killed. Life is suffering.

i just started so all i know is that my handwriting just got a hell of a lot better i guess

I suppose my path to heaven leads through hell

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>Cannot go to sleep now because I will wake up as a fucking insect

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I've only read essays and textbooks. I read to learn, not for fun.

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>The Screwtape Letters
I'm now a demon who is trying to assist his woefully incompetent nephew.

i'm in a post-apocalypse moscow and I never saw the light of the sun

im hunting a vampire boss in a small merican town together with a doc, a teacher and a young boii (had a priest but he is a pussy and rq)

Smurov in pic related, so a mix of Kinbote in Pale Fire and the protag in Hunger by Hamsun, IE. creepy schizo introspective incel stalker on the brink of madness

Ursula was the protagonist

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Iv damke, Artyom

>Cat's Cradle

Least I get to live on a comfy island

I just did photography in a provincial capital of Argentina for one week. Lovely city, incredible atmosphere. I befriended a bunch of people thanks in part to my buddy who's a policeman.
Also almost got killed by an undertaker.

Most importantly I banged two sisters and fell in love with one of them. Although I was warned they were the devil, a statement on which I have no settled opinion.

Now I'm leaving for another city and I'm at max feelsbad.

i won everything and feel great.

I’m a morbid religious freak 12 year old Catholic with a bit of homosexual interest in other boys and masochistic crucifixtion fantasies.

Aside from the 12 year old part it’s pretty close

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Old war veteran with a drinking problem and failing health. I ramble like an old man, or is it the narrator? The soon to be 19 year old I'm dating also seems braindamaged. Must have gotten some knocks on the head in that winter in that cold, damp river.

>15% through Spring Snow
I'm a japanese dorian grey now. i presume i'll be sucking penis soon.

Mob psycho is kinda cringe. That being said, I’d relish the opportunity to slip off Mob’s shoes and socks and feel with my hands the silken softness of his bare feet, drinking in the sight of his blushing face; his gaze averted, his toes curled. I’d begin to massage his sensitive feet, provoking gasps and spasms at every touch. Tenderly caring for what most would consider the least remarkable feature of this boy who has never received anything resembling this kind of attention from anyone. With each touch painting waves of new sensations and feelings over his shivering body and quaking soul.

>reading books with protagonists

how fucking pleb are you

>Rand Al'Thor
I'm going muff diving while going insane

hope your valve is treating you well today

The most important lesson in Kafka's work is how much you can get done with one little gun.

Divine comedy?

>Hebdomeros
I'm like a metaphysical hero, who does...how to put it...surreal journeys between his mind, doing metaphyisical contemplations, and mediterranean lands.
I guess reality is lost for me.

>be albino asshole
>turn invisible
>everyone hates me and I'm boutta get my ass beat

based

Across the River and Into the Trees?

>notebooks of mlb
pretty much the same. horrifying mental anguish and abject poverty while trying and failing to find beauty in the banal and literary.

Lonely.
Nothing changed I guess. Except I'm attractive now.

I just went through the craziest country ever, but I’m safe now

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now i'm wondering how the crew of the Pequod would fare against the Predator

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The Hangman's Handyman. Solve the mystery of and the mystery of the sequel with knowledge of everything that happened, easy peasy.

Thanks... migth get this book

>mid 1800s era whaler

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Yep, haven't finished it yet though.

>Konosuba
Amazing. I would rather live there than on this gay Earth.

I'm Miss Eee Gee. Well I always wanted to try being a girl. Kinda want to see if she kills herself like her author.

Based and relatablepilled

I am me in early 20th century Estonia, taking part in a revolution against the Russian Empire

love in times of cholera?

im a pedo with so many alter egos, my wife died in a miraculous (for me) car accident and guess who is going to fuck his step daughter

Woo! Luxury space communism with drug glands in my brain and the opportunity to explore the galaxy on a luxury yacht, or in a dream, by myself or with others, having 5 minute orgasms with whatever kind of freak-ass alien I meet. Immortality optional.

I'm telling stories about cities I've visited to Kublai Khan

invisible cities

Life is now like real horrorshow, O my brothers. No more tolchoking starry vecks, or crasting shops for cutter. Just me and my devotchka, me giving her the old in-out right frequent like, now we're viddying to have a baby type. What wih Georgie boy deceased, and Dim one of the rozzes, old Pete is the only droogie remaining in contact with your humble narrator. All grown he is too, with a lovely devotchka.

Yes, it's a not bad life really.

>The Metamorphosis
fUCK SHIT

Agee is great for beautiful, sonorous prose, sensitivity and psychological insights.
Plot and pacing....not so much.

OMG I'm Severian???
:-P

Running away, hope no one sees me

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Bougie-pre revolution russia. feels good

i'm dating my boss's sister
and working hard as a blu boy

I am the leader of an acadian partisan militia resisting Anglo occupation in the mid 18th century. My people have cultivated and inhabited Acadie for 100 years. The Anglo menace and his merchants are trying to steal the fertile land we worked to reclaim from the sea, they exploit our labor and our farms. Things have escalated to widespread violence. In between scalping Anglo soldiers we hide out in our camps in the forest to avoid the mass exile that has been occurring for the past 3 years. Our women and children are starving to death. I have been shot in the foot. Our militant priest spiritual leader has been captured and tortured before being sent back to France. The 7 years war has begun and we are traveling to the plains of abraham to fight the Anglo menace with our french brothers.

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>Lolita
Well...

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I'm a whiny little git going to magic school with my friends Ralph and Zane, overshadowed by my famous father.
>yes, I read trash.

I watch the adventures of Jekyll and Hyde from afar.

>Kafka The trial
I dont know wtf its happening but hey at least a girl with black eyes cucked me and im dead now