What’s on your mind

I went to have a walk in the city.
I had had enough of studying for my entrance exams. Feeling useless, even when I know I haven't put time into anything else this rigorously before, I feel like none of the things I've tried to learn have stuck with me.
So I had to get out.
I hadn't left my house in a week, if you don't count stepping outside to smoke a cigarette.
I took my acoustic guitar with me, seemed like a romantic idea, even if I'm not particularly good with it.
So I jumped in my busted, red Renault and got going.
When I arrived there, I walked alongside the river separating the city.
Other young people were gathered around the riverbank in groups of four or eight.
Drinking, mingling, listening to music through their tiny mobile speakers.
I chose an empty seat on a spot where the sun could barely shine over the rooftops.
I took the guitar out and started to play some awful riff I had written down a week prior.
Instant fucking terror.,
There was a restaurant near me, I wonder if I was bothering the diners.
A group of teens walked by, were they laughing at me?
A drunkard, presumably, walked by and yelled "Do you want to have a slow dance, huh?"
I felt like an absolute buffoon.
Who the fuck did I think I was?
What did I think this stupid play would accomplish?
And why did I think they'd give two shits about some hobo strumming his Yamaha.
But I kept playing, pretending like the seagulls gathering nearby weren't bothering me.
People passed by, chitting and chatting.
Then someone approached me.
Some 2nd generation migrant most likely, didn't speak the language too well.
He said I was pretty good at what I was doing.
I told him my hands were freezing solid from the wind.
He laughed.
Asked if I wanted to buy some weed, apparently it was really fresh.
Said I didn't have cash on me.
He then smiled and said it's alright, gave me a fistpump and kept going on his way.
I went to McDonald's after that and bought a 20 pack of chicken nuggets, drove home and wondered why am I such a massive, retarded, pretentious bitchboy.

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Hahaha trust

I know, how are you anyway

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The most Yea Forums thing to be concerned about, we all know where everything is leading, civilians are on a first class flight to hell

Im pretty much positive of that, Im actually banking on an AI revolution just wiping out humanity before it gets too bad. Maybe the siliconeniggers can do something of value once we're dead

The only person I've ever loved is too far away to love.

Stop watching porn.

ISissi

I liked your story user, even if you are a massive faggot

Fucked up my sleep and ate too little these past few weeks. No boxing training due to easter too, which is pretty much one of the things I enjoy the most. Feels like I'm becoming a useless neet hungry skeleton again, even if I know that's all in my head. Gonna do some knuckle push ups and sit ups about thirty minutes from now, and will hit the gym tomorrow morning, that will help clear my head. Been trying to work on how I present myslef to others so I can appear more confident; it's hard. I'm tired. Feels like it's been too long since I had a win in life. It's like I'm wearing around the edges since my birthday two weeks ago.

Realized I'm addicted to this site, but don't want to quit it. Also started looking at porn again after staying away from it for 40 days.

I also feel lonely. Being better looking than I ever was before didn't, since it only served to show my mind and personality are the things that stop me from attracting and relating to others. Sometimes it's even difficult to believe I look good, as if I'm just seeing that skinny and tired boy who was called ugly when I gaze upon the mirror.

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>didn't help

if any anons have finance/investment/budgeting questions, i'm around.

little sad tonight. nothing to be sad about, though. just one of those things you wait out.

>randomly get interested in some activity
>spend 6+ hours obsessing on it in one day
>next day interest is totally gone
>try to focus on other things but there's zero interest, motivation
>repeat
I wonder if this was a special curse put on me. I wonder if I will die doing this.

>In every affair consider what precedes and follows, and then undertake it. Otherwise you will begin with spirit; but not having thought of the consequences, when some of them appear you will shamefully desist. "I would conquer at the Olympic games." But consider what precedes and follows, and then, if it is for your advantage, engage in the affair. You must conform to rules, submit to a diet, refrain from dainties; exercise your body, whether you choose it or not, at a stated hour, in heat and cold; you must drink no cold water, nor sometimes even wine. In a word, you must give yourself up to your master, as to a physician. Then, in the combat, you may be thrown into a ditch, dislocate your arm, turn your ankle, swallow dust, be whipped, and, after all, lose the victory. When you have evaluated all this, if your inclination still holds, then go to war. Otherwise, take notice, you will behave like children who sometimes play like wrestlers, sometimes gladiators, sometimes blow a trumpet, and sometimes act a tragedy when they have seen and admired these shows. Thus you too will be at one time a wrestler, at another a gladiator, now a philosopher, then an orator; but with your whole soul, nothing at all. Like an ape, you mimic all you see, and one thing after another is sure to please you, but is out of favor as soon as it becomes familiar. For you have never entered upon anything considerately, nor after having viewed the whole matter on all sides, or made any scrutiny into it, but rashly, and with a cold inclination. Thus some, when they have seen a philosopher and heard a man speaking like Euphrates (though, indeed, who can speak like him?), have a mind to be philosophers too. Consider first, man, what the matter is, and what your own nature is able to bear. If you would be a wrestler, consider your shoulders, your back, your thighs; for different persons are made for different things. Do you think that you can act as you do, and be a philosopher? That you can eat and drink, and be angry and discontented as you are now? You must watch, you must labor, you must get the better of certain appetites, must quit your acquaintance, be despised by your servant, be laughed at by those you meet; come off worse than others in everything, in magistracies, in honors, in courts of judicature. When you have considered all these things round, approach, if you please; if, by parting with them, you have a mind to purchase equanimity, freedom, and tranquillity. If not, don't come here; don't, like children, be one while a philosopher, then a publican, then an orator, and then one of Caesar's officers. These things are not consistent. You must be one man, either good or bad. You must cultivate either your own ruling faculty or externals, and apply yourself either to things within or without you; that is, be either a philosopher, or one of the vulgar.

Fun story. Keep writing these weird, urban vignettes.

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