Write a passage of this mans odyssey

Write a passage of this mans odyssey

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for sale: plane seat, covered in shit

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Americanus, son of Burgerus, flew too close to the sun in the great metal ship. A timeless hero. His good deeds shall never be forgotten.

God is just

"the Taiwanese had won the battle but they didnt win the war"

>Unable to fit inside the economy class bathroom, he was escorted to the business class one where he soon pressed the emergency assistance button, calling the flight attendant inside to pull his underwear down. The cabin crew for the flight was entirely female and the women were initially very reluctant, but the man insisted and pleaded, threatening to relieve himself on the floor, until he finally got his way.
>The flight attendant tried to use a blanket to cover the man’s exposed genitals, but that was slapped away. She put on a pair of surgical gloves and then pulled down his underwear. The man also insisted that the bathroom door be kept open, claiming that he wouldn’t be able to breathe otherwise. That request at least was denied.
>However, soon the man made his most unreasonable demand yet, calling on the flight attendant to come inside again and wipe his ass for him. Once again, the cabin crew initially refused, but the man threatened to stay in the bathroom for the entire flight, an act that would seriously inconvenience other passengers.
>Feeling as if she had no choice, the flight attendant put on three layers of surgical gloves and started wiping. As she did so, the man allegedly began moaning in pleasure and saying “deeper, deeper!” He then claimed that she hadn’t done a good enough job and made her wipe three more times before he was satisfied.

I didn't write this, this is actually what happened.

Hello? Am I talking with the BASED & REDPILLED police? I'd like to report an incident

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Ling was a dignified woman. Having been born in the outskirts of mainland China, her family was without privlidge. She had been raised to work the farm with her older brother.
The first chance she had, she left for the city, persuing an education and work within the modern world. Now in her early twenties, she was a beautiful girl of dainty stature. Many a man within the city had persued her. But she sought more than to be just someones trophy wife.
For today she begins her new job. A well respected one, and much sought after amongst her peers, one that would open the world up with limitless travel to all the most exotic lands.
She brushed back a tear from her eye as she recalled the toil and slop of the farm. No more. She adjusted the satin kerchief around her neck, checked the pristine fold of her uniform. She must look dignified.
For today she began life anew. Today she had finally become a flight attendant.

This reads like a short story from an edgy author.

Now, imagine the fat guy is Ignatius Reilly.

What the fuck
Where’s MeToo when you need it

Sounds like Chuck Palahniuk is working on a sequel to Guts.

Ignatius would be absolutely repulsed by the idea of contact with a woman of any kind, let alone the erotic kind.

someone shoop in power eyes

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>ywn be this chad

>chad
Uh, you don't understand the concept of chad, young friend.

it's not chad but it's certainly alpha

We should seriously be allowed to kill anyone over 250 pounds

Shit I just searched it it's fucking real
>Afterward, the flight attendant wrote in an Instagram post that she locked herself inside the bathroom, crying and vomiting, unable to wash away the stench of the man’s shit.

Utterly fucking based. The absolute mad lad. What a legend.

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Probably worth mentioning that this seems to be directly taken from the testimony of a woman trying to get compensation money and then written up by some sensationalist online hack. I can only assume our friend had read one of several earlier stories about spineless Taiwanese airline staff (e.g. the guy who wanted his urine bottle cleaned for him) and decided to mess with them. The exact sequence of events is hard to confirm though, given the sources in question.

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>Feeling as if she had no choice, one flight attendant put on three layers of surgical gloves and started wiping. As she did so, the man allegedly started moaning in pleasure and encouraging her, “deeper, deeper!”

I can fap to this.

It was later revealed that the man was actually a frequent Eva Air flyer, traveling with the airline 20 times in the past, with a history of questionable behavior. The airline confirmed that he had also requested flight attendants to wipe his butt during a flight from Taipei to Bangkok in May 2018, but that crew members had refused that request. On other flights, he asked flight attendants to “help clean his urine bottle,” a request which was acceded to “out of the spirit of service” and spilled soda and yogurt on himself during a meal which crew members helped to clean up.Eva Air denied rumors that he had once taken a dump at his seat

Absolutely savage.
ITS A MADHOUSE, A MADHOUSE.

Just imagine what he asked the Bangkok prostitutes to do on arrival

Damn, I was looking forwards to Winds of Winter

;__;

Do Americans really do this?

D E E P E R

E

E

P

E

R

>Eva Air denied rumors that he had once taken a dump at his seat
He 100% took a shit on his seat.

Fucking Americans.

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>your a big guy

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scariest short story ever written

High possibility they poisoned him

WAGIE COME WIPE MY ASS

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fpbp

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>Eva Air denied rumors of hiring a hitman

The plane groaned and growled beneath them, like a constipated fat man straining to shit

>the finger lifted in the air

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Lol, what a disgusting moron.

lmfao

USA NUMBAH FUGGIN ONE WHADDAFACK YOU KNOW ABAHDIT?

ABSOLUTE KING

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>mfw it's actually fucking real
Based

>Americans

truly the modern Socrates

More like the modern Diogenes.

Yea Forums user most likely

sometimes I unironically agree with this statement