How to pynch

So I just bought a new gf and she's gr8 and all, but we've found a stumblingrock problem: I cannot get her to get into Pynchon. I've tried to sing to her some of the GR songs, and I've summarized to her some of my essays on his books, but (even though I'm paying her 150 a day!!) she really doesn't seem to care a bit for it. How do I get her into Pynch? I know that if she actually gets to read him with a good heart she'll love it. She's a smart girl, and she's only waiting for a writer like Pynchon to make her feel understood.
Anyways, I'd accept some council.

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Pay her more

Pay me

Pay

P.

...

P.

If you have 150 a day to spare, you shouldn't need to hire a """"""""gf""""""" unless you're really ugly, autistic, or both.

Memorize passages from his books and find a way to weave them into your conversations with her. I've been quoting my favorite authors to my gf for years and she doesn't even know it.

You need bromides and a metronome

poor guy. i'm in a similar situation with the gf i bought. i've been reading lot49 aloud to her but every time i start she puts headphones in and just nods and smiles at me when i look up at her

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Where did you get a 150 a day gf? My recent ones have been running me 300 a day, plus an extra ten dollars for every sign of affection

I found a busted model last time I was thrown into the popcorn pits, ironically enough. She's got halitosis but guess who's seeing Joker opening night

Is Son & Xon any better than the usual barely comprehensible written diarrhea Pynchon tries to pass off as novels?

It's written in a faux 18 century style so I'm going to bet a no in your case.

Also, pynchon's straightforward as shit, what's wrong with you?

this thread

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>straightforward as shit
That's only partially true. His """stories""" are always bloated with autistic detritus. They may be shit, but they're anything but straightforward.

No that's just good writing

Fucking Chris-Chan is a better writer than Thomas Pynchon tbqh.

Pinch-him is not for everyone

>Pynchon
>good writing
Gotta be no and yikespilled on my part lil fella