Why is the Bible so godawfully written? Had they even tried? I can't read this shit, it's the purest torture!
Why is the Bible so godawfully written? Had they even tried? I can't read this shit, it's the purest torture!
Elijah Powell
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Jacob King
blame the translators. you know you don't have to read the KJV right?
Jack Morgan
It's secondary purpose is to serve as the ultimate literary pleb filter so I'd say it does it's job just fine
Alexander Brown
Bad opinion.
>Here is a well-known verse from Ecclesiastes:
>I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
>Here it is in modern English:
>Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account.
>This is a parody, but not a very gross one. Exhibit (3) above, for instance, contains several patches of the same kind of English. It will be seen that I have not made a full translation. The beginning and ending of the sentence follow the original meaning fairly closely, but in the middle the concrete illustrations — race, battle, bread — dissolve into the vague phrases ‘success or failure in competitive activities’. This had to be so, because no modern writer of the kind I am discussing — no one capable of using phrases like ‘objective considerations of contemporary phenomena’ — would ever tabulate his thoughts in that precise and detailed way. The whole tendency of modern prose is away from concreteness. Now analyze these two sentences a little more closely. The first contains forty-nine words but only sixty syllables, and all its words are those of everyday life.
Benjamin Perry
1 By the sun and his brightness,
2 And the moon when she followeth him,
3 And the day when it revealeth him,
4 And the night when it enshroudeth him,
5 And the heaven and Him Who built it,
6 And the earth and Him Who spread it,
7 And a soul and Him Who perfected it
8 And inspired it (with conscience of) what is wrong for it and (what is) right for it.
9 He is indeed successful who causeth it to grow,
10 And he is indeed a failure who stunteth it.
11 (The tribe of) Thamud denied (the truth) in their rebellious pride,
12 When the basest of them broke forth
13 And the messenger of Allah said: It is the she-camel of Allah, so let her drink!
14 But they denied him, and they hamstrung her, so Allah doomed them for their sin and rased (their dwellings).
15 He dreadeth not the sequel (of events).
Anthony Ortiz
Douay-Rheims or bust.
Jack Martinez
The second contains thirty-eight words of ninety syllables: eighteen of those words are from Latin roots, and one from Greek. The first sentence contains six vivid images, and only one phrase (‘time and chance’) that could be called vague. The second contains not a single fresh, arresting phrase, and in spite of its ninety syllables it gives only a shortened version of the meaning contained in the first. Yet without a doubt it is the second kind of sentence that is gaining ground in modern English. I do not want to exaggerate. This kind of writing is not yet universal, and outcrops of simplicity will occur here and there in the worst-written page. Still, if you or I were told to write a few lines on the uncertainty of human fortunes, we should probably come much nearer to my imaginary sentence than to the one from Ecclesiastes.
Oliver Perez
>not latin
Big YIKES
Samuel Hughes
The KJV is the most poetic. Most beautiful.
Nathan Myers
Exactly.
Imagine you wrote your masterpiece in English, handed it to Houellebecq who translated it to French then handed it to Hirohito, who translated it to Japanese then handed it to Nelson Mandela's secretary of state's assistant, who translated it to king kunta then handed it to Prince William's godfather who translated it back into English: what kind of document would you have?
Levi Gray
translation of the translation of the translation
Austin Richardson
>Read the Bible
>why?
>Because the shortest book in the Bible is pretty good
>Okay, I'll read Ecclesia...
>Read Da Bible!
Joshua Cooper
KJV is considered a masterpiece of English prose
Austin Scott
The original Hebrew is not so interesting in terms of writing, the narratives are cool, though there are some great moments of writing.
Levi Davis
>English prose
Is that really an achievement? I mean... Even a Polish guy who learned it in his 20s managed to write some classics.
Justin Rivera
AYE TONE,
Eli Barnes
It's a history book, it's not supposed to have fancy prose. It exists to inform you, not entertain you
Mason Walker
They were a bunch of sand niggers. What did you expect?
Connor Lewis
Because it's been translated over and over again for centuries.
Luke Ortiz
Prove that it's a book of history without circular reference.
Jacob Hughes
>implying
Austin Torres
Prove history is real without using circular logic
Nolan Phillips
Prove logic is real without using circular history.
Dominic Mitchell
@12955152
Imagine being so desperate for (you)s that you start counting syllables and quibbling about a specific translator's rendering. Terrible b8. Sad!
Angel Stewart
Prove circularity is real without using circularity.
Robert Foster
>waaaah waaaah it's not modern enough for meee
MODERN ENGLISH DIDN'T TAKE JERUSALEM
Noah Cooper
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Brandon Johnson
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
Hunter Campbell
The Lord, the Lord my shepherd is, and so can never I taste misery. He rests me in green pasture his: by waters still, and sweet he guides my feet. He me revives: leads me the way, which righteousness doth take, for his name's sake. Yea, though I should through valleys stray, of death's dark shade, I will no whit fear ill. For thou, dear Lord, thou me besett'st: Thy rod, and thy staff be to comfort me; before me thou a table sett'st, ev'n when foe's envious eye doth it espy. Thou oil'st my head, thou fill'st my cup: nay, more, thou endless good, shalt give me food. To thee, I say, ascended up, where thou, the Lord of all, dost hold thy hall.