What do you do after a humiliation? How do you deal with the lump of pain that prevents you from focusing on anything? It is from someone that I gotta see every day, and subsequently get myself reminded so there's no cool down period.
Any book that would help me?
Read the stoics.
Grow up, stop watching anime, stop browsing Yea Forums
Humiliation is very relative really, just don't give a shit about it and that's all, or actually try to stand up to it if you get bothered that much
Talk it over with your girlfriend. Not much can't be cured by some kind words and a hug from someone who loves you
beat them up
I suggest the following:
1. Write a letter (by hand preferably) to the person who aggrieved you, putting down all the things you want to say to them. Don't actually send it. Put it away for a day or two.
2. Now write a warm, heartfelt response this letter as if you were them. An apology that captures everything you wish they would say.
3. Now re-read both letters a few times throughout the week and--this is the most important part--imagine the person's face and wish them sincerely well, that they be happy, that they be content and safe.
I know it seems contrived and sappy and may even be extremely difficult (especially the last part) but love alone can cure animosity and ill-will and purify your feelings of humiliation.
Damn OP, I don't know what you've been through but I feel for you. Remember to keep your head up, and your dignity intact. You are an individual and not someone to be trashed, confront the person who did this to you, and make them understand that what they did was been an asshole. Its a fucking jungle out there, be good to each other and have understanding for the pain each one of us is going through.
Regarding number 2, won't that be a delusion? I mean even if OP does that, that person's attitude/smugness in real life won't reflect the warmness of the letter.
I'd kill for a hug
He might've been caught jerking off in the office or something like that. This is Yea Forums after all. I feel like we have too little information for competent advice.
Is getting caught jerking off a miniscule humiliation to you?
Yes, strictly speaking it is a delusion. However, OP may be suffering intense shame and pain right now and, though it is a delusion, it is a very quick and effective way to alleviate those feelings so that he can attempt step 3, which is the whole objective.
Eventually, the letters and their contents will become irrelevant in face of sincere compassion and love.
I feel like it would be better if he actually did send some kind of letter since that works to changing the situation. Convincing yourself doesn't sound like a good solution to me.
Agreed
I'm not saying that but certainly it would alter content and tone of any advice. Is it a moral failure on his part that has led to humiliation or is it maybe that a tyrannical bully has turned the social environment against him without fault of his own? Too little infomation is the point.
Well, he can always send it if he wants. But it may make things worse and there's certainly no risk in trying what I wrote first. In my own experience, such a practice tends to change the situation as well. People tend to react to others based on how they react to them. It is difficult bear ill-will against someone who sincerely wishes you well.
If it's derived from something that didn't cause anyone any harm, don't view it as shameful or humiliating.
If you're being reminded out of spite/jest, remind the person who's doing it that poking at vulnerability is how apathy is born.
If the person witnessed you in a moment of weakness, explain it to them. Maybe not face to face, send an email saying what happened and your apology for them having seen you in such a state. If you don't take the initiative in this, the person will most likely spread the word about you and in turn make others have a bias against you.
THIS AND ONLY THIS
Humiliation is a form of pride and it is the seed of hatred and mania. It always conceals a will to control others. Even if you yourself do the right thing, the egotism from which humiliation springs will not be content and will want to manipulate the other person in order to manifest the conditions for its survival. Unveiled, egotism is plain spite towards God and others, and this is founded upon the belief, nay, a perverted hope that life is cruel and its trials are extreme and unmerited. It wants to cast off its own life in exchange for another, or it wants to condemn life entirely, merely because it secretly holds itself above all things. The only righteous response is to do one's duty toward God and one's neighbor, asking nothing and respecting the sovereignty of each according the task of his or her own salvation. No one has any right to hinder you in your duty or take advantage of your missteps, but you must respect any lawful response another makes to your own transgression, understanding that you would do the same if you were in their shoes. The only permanent cure to humiliation is the discovery that Christ loves us with a perfect love and that a way is always open for us to be reconciled with our neighbor, not according to vanity and mutual self-abasement, but according to perfect love and freedom from transgression.
>take uni writing course years later
>smart, cute girl sits right across from me the whole semester handwrites a full page review gushing about my story, telling me she loves it and thinks I'm the best writer in the class
>everytime I went to class after I thought about thanking her, but always backed out because I'm terrified of talking to women after years of horrible experiences
>didn't say a word to her all semester
Even my therapist got angry at me.
damn she probably felt humiliated
Oh user.
She literally gave him a written invitation
In his defense, at a concert a girl rubbed her ass on my dick for about 2 hours and I didn't even realize what was about until I was driving home two days later.
sleep.
get over it.
get out of bed and go on.
Pallas Athene made Ajax slip on a patch of offal from the sacrifice of bellowing bulls that fleet-footed Achilles had made in honour of Patroclus. He fell and his mouth and nostrils were filled with offal, while Odysseus came in first, and claimed the silver bowl, leaving the ox for noble Ajax. He stood there, spitting out the offal, grasping the ox’s horn, and complained to the Argives: ‘There, did you see how the goddess made me slip, she who’s always at Odysseus side, helping him!’
His words raised a shout of laughter
turn to homer
Totally based.
I'll be honest OP, it doesn't sound like you started with the Greeks.
Reflect on what went wrong, think about how to prevent a similar thing from happening in the future, laugh about my stupidity, forgive myself and move on.
Just drink till you forget about it when it bothers you. Other than that as time goes on it'll hurt you less.
I know its hard even to talk to a girl after a worst experience. it like have delusion everything going to break apart
a shameful display
notes from underground, kek
or the red and the black
>Even my therapist got angry at me.
based
how many times did you cum on the letter?