I used to expect that intellectualism - the pursuit of knowledge, cultivation of culture, development of a personal worldview, criticism of society - had an endpoint on an individual level. That is, at some point, I would get things "figured out" and move on from reading and writing and thinking to live life. But now, after finishing college and grad school and spending time as a working adult, I feel more attracted to intellectualism than ever. I'm spending weekends holed up in my apartment reading history, taking notes on philosophy books, adding to my ever-increasing reading list. I have become *less* social over time and find that I love the world of the mind more and more as time goes on; I spent last weekend totally immersed in the history of Edwardian England and the technological changes leading up to WW1. The experience was joyful, exciting, and left me wondering when exactly this is going to stop - I don't even respond to contacts from old friends anymore, I can't bring myself to jot down inane chit-chat, everything takes a back seat to acquiring more knowledge. The more I know, the more questions I have. Only in the past year have I felt, for the first time, that I wish I could live for a thousand years ONLY for the purpose of getting an intellectual perspective far beyond what I can achieve in a normal lifetime. I do feel lonely but what can I do, the drive for knowledge is so much stronger than the need for friendship, and the more I indulge intellectualism, the more different I get from other people. So, Yea Forums, is there really no end point? Should there be?
I used to expect that intellectualism - the pursuit of knowledge, cultivation of culture...
based, but I think youre viewing it all wrong. If youre still unsatisfied then there is another issue in your life you're ignoring. Just accept the fact that learning is your hobby. You will never run out of things to learn about and you shouldn't prioritize that over a social life or being successful
I want to be like you user
“The person who does not act in reality and only acts in fantasy becomes himself, unreal. The actual world for that person becomes shrunken and impoverished.”
- R.D. Laing
It seems like you genuinely enjoy it, unlike many pseuds here who can't appreciate the journey and look for some superpowers to be gained from reading.
>is there really no end point
I don't think so, but our buddhist residents will probably tell you otherwise.
What do u use to learn about these things, actual books or the internet?
Yes and no aren't so far apart lovely and ugly aren't so unalike
what others fear we too must fear
before the moon wanes everyone is gay as if they were at the Great Sacrifice or
climbing a tower in spring I sit here and make no sign like a child that doesn't smile
lost with no one to turn to
while others enjoy more I alone seem forgotten my mind is so foolish so simple
others look bright I alone seem dim others are certain I alone am confused receding
like the ocean waxing without cease
everyone has a goal I alone am dumb and backward for I alone choose to differ
preferring still my mother's breast
yeah when you realise that even to keep that process of learning going you have to go out and 'live life'.
The only end point is death, mate. Neglecting experience is a big mistake, you will regret this when your body is incapable of having certain experiences. You see these people who live their lives for partying, sex and drugs? There is an unhealthy intellectual variant of this
you'll probably end up like martin eden
>the technological changes leading up to WW1.
What have you been reading?
in Republic, philosopher’s soul is likened to a tyrannical regime
good news: you’re golden-souled
bad news: golden souls are run by dictators
did you write that
I'm exactly the same as you OP. I used to learn in order to achieve this ineffable X, knowing that there would be no point at which I could take away a tangible something and be satisfied. I couldn't help but continue, knowing it would be a continuous failure.
I started writing a novel and, perhaps because I'm contributing to the world of the intellect, so to speak, I can finally just learn because I like learning. I'm learning Latin and ancient Greek (while maintaining 2 other languages) at the same time. I'm also reading the history of western literature and philosophy. I'm not bragging. My point is that doing all this I would need several lifetimes to achieve,but I don't care. Even if by the time I die I can write a shitty haiku in Latin I'll die happy (or content might be a better word)
No inquiry is truly skeptical unless it's in-depth, and taps the expertise of professionals in many different endeavors, rather as the polymath Eratosthenes did. Even if one takes "the highest quality of experience" as an axiom, there's no getting there without the drive of curiosity, knowing just to know, since in the long run "the highest degree of culture" confers immunity to dogma, propaganda, or any kind of manipulation. Long-term, being used as a thing by clever frauds, vicious cults, their leaders and wannabes is a fate worth the trouble to evade, and in the end what one enjoys is continuation of days via a brain that isn't at war everywhere and all the time, an extreme capability for peaceable joy, at far remove from the roar of mindless proseletyzing and mindless applause to it. Getting outdoors to directly savor nature's stupendous variety is part of that, and so is the social fluency that in time comes most to the most articulate. One does it not to set an example for someone else to follow, but because the example proves itself whenever one acts in reality, as we all must. Likewise, acts of choice are consensual only insofar as one is informed, and youthfully spirited play combines with mature cognizance to make the best of both in one personality, which is good to be and good to know, in person.
the pursit of knowleidge is a great endevouring for all around grented they deny the intrinsic balloonyness of being uh lole
why are you such a flathead despite of your philosophy?
Please elaborate.
Learn to "turn off your mind" sometimes, become absorbed in the mundane common culture around friends and partners. I've always been able to do this outside an existential crisis.
well its not that hard to elbaorate on this because it first it is an obvious observation that a you're a flathead and b that your philosophy indicates a path that should contribute to eliminating the flat dimension of your heads. On why it is such i could only speculate and i will do that but first let me take a stroll down the road to the pond of the green frogs and the wonderful white acorn trees towering way above me, but it's not a problem for me because i can jump very high and jump on top of the acorn tree and sit there in peace and breathe uh hahhh and whenceforth i collect my thoughts and eat some of the acorns as they remind me of something. Back in the city i was living a life of lonliness and also i was eating too much each single day which was good because it kept me away from the cigarettes but id was also bad because my face became more plump and faticiliously excessive and my hair receeded till i looked like a pig in all self-denying honestly and faced down the windows at the people who walked so slowly as if in trance. I wondered, i remember it exactly and all doubts are kept away, that they changed their directions multiple times, and some of them stood still foreverial, till more and more people amassed beneath my window on which my pigface was glued. Up until now i had lived in the delusion that there was such a thing as a free choice or a motive or an impulse that determined my actions, i even was assured of the autonomy of that part within me that judged my own assessments, as in i could even say that i'm not envious or that i'm generally a person that does good but with these folks down there being all too truthfully truly true in being true to the nature of our existance i too recognized that all mirrors were deceptors and more akin to big bunches of volleyshous rain hitting down on oneself. Certainly there was a relation between the movements of the true self and the volleycious rain but it was clearly that of something seeking cover or reacting to natures inflicted harm. It was the weirdest kind of delusion to imagine that man was semipermeable and that it was our judgements which slipped through and fed us with direction and clarity. Now i had seen the light at last and realized that i needed to acquire the expertise of professionals. My nonmethodic inquiries into the nature of my own path had failed terribly, and so the obvious option was to identify with a dogma of method and plain purity of mediocrity. Part of this professional routine of reaching the highest heigh i was genetically determined to be capable of reaching was to run into nature and take photographs of myself being directly engaged with it and loving it and licking the trees or standing on a hill sensing the wind purposefully and with elevated senses. It still did look very similiar to the folks beneath my pig snout but my philosophical studies had not only taught me the value of kindness but also that we all must act in reality. Hearing t
It's from the tao te ching, chapter 20 I think?
are you asking us whether you think chapter 20?
As parody goes, the bitterness of this is embarrassingly macabre.
I have fallen in the same rabbit-hole OP, and I wish I knew more people like you. Ever since I became one, I feel like there is nothing else more rewarding to do (other than long walks, which is probably the only outdoor activity that I enjoy). I was never a social person anyway, I tend to latch on to one or two people who get bombarded with all I have to say, but thankfully I chose relatively tolerant ones. If you find even one who shares your interests OP, you'd be much more satisfied with life, and for that to happen you have to go out and be more charitable with the people you meet.
I was born with it, it's called autisms my friend
This
No, Daodejing XX.
This is nothing to be worried about. Continue this pursuit of knowledge and make an effort to find a partner who loves you as you are - we all need some human contact - and settle down. The journey never ends, except at death.
>gets lots of dopamine from learning
Thats fine
>Neglects other dopamine sources in favour of this one
That means you are addicted
If it's a phase, don't worry. But be careful not to neglect critical life aspects (socializing is one of them indeed) for too long or you will deteriorate. Make a schedule, plan your hobbies and be happy that you got a very good source of happiness that will keep delivering until the day you die. Just control it.
Where the impetus for this came from I do not know, but a kind of love inspires my direction in this often nebulous endeavor- for instance I can't wait to be able to open the windows of my apartment again because there's something about the aura and slight chill of early Spring that really powers my getting on with the warp and weft of what is described in your post. This weekend spent in Talleyrand's Memoirs, Balzac's long criticism of Chartreuse (and Stendhal's flip responses) as well as the annotating of S's novel and in beginning Manzoni's.
Two things. Maybe get a dog, a slight responsibility that'll get you out at least twice daily. And at least dream of writing, user- this is very important for at the end of the day etc. etc. --for I believe (you) know where I'm going with this.
>So, Yea Forums, is there really no end point? Should there be?
Yeah, there should be. What you're currently doing is a form of hedonism.
Thoroughly out of date. Like MacBeth this Scotsman died too soon.
Read Papini's "A Failure" (Un Uomo Finito)
Interesting thread.
>form of Hedonism
then it's an exceptionally rare form, and one driven by a kind of faith whereas hedonism in general is not- the faith of becoming a better, more rounded and even more responsible human being.
OP here. Appreciate all the thoughts. Overall I feel after carefully reading everything here that my pursuit doesn't necessarily have to stop but I should have a goal in mind. Learning for the sake of learning might not be any better than playing video games, and I would be a hypocrite if I didn't take that seriously, since I avoid games in particular for their time wasting potential.
I've got writing a novel in my sights as well, though, do I even have to say that - ha. But I do hope to put all of this knowledge to use writing an intellectually charged fiction drawing on all of my knowledge and especially questions - if there is any superiority from all of this it comes from asking better questions.
>I wish I knew more people like you
>one or two people who get bombarded with all I have to say
Oh I do that as well. Might be weird to say but I could share Discord info if you have want one more person to bombard. And anyone else in this thread as well.
I was slightly dishonest about one thing in the OP, I do actually reply to people, I just generally take a long time for my more "normal" contacts as it feels like a lot of work at times. And that feels wrong.
Thank you sir.
Have you tried getting laid?
It's a relief to be able to entertain yourself with just books and stuff like that. The idea of being bored has never really made sense to me, and I feel sincerely uncomfortable around people who I am expected to entertain or whatever.
Experience is a meme. It's why "travel" is so easily undermined by Google streetview, and why sexual experience is so easily replaced by masturbation. True intellectual curiosity, most profound in nature, only really appeals to those of us who crave the truth so ardently that we are willing to forego mere bestial consummation and instead become martyrs to intellect.
Feel this. I think I'm wanted often for the content I'm able to provide. Dumbfounded that so few have anything to say. Plenty of reactions, of course, but those don't count.
read this
>then it's an exceptionally rare form,
It's not THAT rare. You (or OP if you aren't him) outlined it pretty clearly - you want to accumulate knowledge for its own sake. You want to live 1000 years so you can read more books, learn other languages, whatever - then what? You die, and all of it goes away, just the same as if you had only lived for 50 years. So what was it all for? Why are you doing this? "Because I enjoy it" isn't a good enough answer, that's just a rarefied form of sensuality.
Not OP
But I am here:
Actually reading and writing, being legitimately (or unaccountably) fond of letters is rare even here, where it isn't supposed to be. But I do have goals, and it turns out OP does too- so? I guess the hedonists are too busy maximizing their personal enjoyment ratios somewhere other than here.
What is really the source of knowledge in humanity?
Settle down there Faust
.
Hmmm....... I think that a learned life is a good thing. The trick is though, is to know when you are taking that too far and becoming a hermit that can't get a date, or stretch oneself in any way by having new experiences. Things like literature and philosophy were made to make men better, not to be the master of men.
God
A Taoist view