Write what's on your mind

What are you refering to? The concept is alive, only pure capitalism doesn't exist.

Should he have attacked a Christian church instead?
Isn't equality an ideal as well?

no gf

What mistakes did you make?

Very based. Let's not let this shooting nonsense stand in the way of the real issues.

If I had a qt gf to cuddle with life would be so much richer

Are you a girl from the 18th Century? Please be my qt Austen gf?

Sure, you can coin anything as an ideal.
I am referencing concepts like communism. They are trash, one should work in the world one lives in.

What is the purpose of my will if every time I assert it I feel more empty and cynical? Is my will destined to be united to a general will for the own inercy of human nature and therefore, go from the individual pain to some short of collective pain?

I had closed eyes visuals with weed yesterday, it was extremely comfortable

What useless drivel. Stop being so pretentious, you are forcing your will to will which dilutes your emotions.

I can't tell if you're trying to bait those two or just imitating the reasoning of my BPD ex.
>Why don't we go out for a nice meal tonight?
>>OMG why don't we just starve if you hate eating food I make?
>...I thought maybe just going to a restaurant

If you're below the age of 35 you are most likely creating your own cage. Stop being so sorry for yourself, you have potential. (That is if you aren't below 110 iq)

I am being serious with this. I have fear to become some kind souless monster since I hardly have any emotions towards the others

tfw spengler is proven right again and again

he predicted this timeline

I acted like a retard, socially and otherwise. Isolating myself, being petty over small things, thinking I was above others, and all the while burning bridges along the way. I lived in my own world and was practically a solopsist. The few friends I made, the two or three girls who showed interest in me, the rare opportunities I had to leave my bubble and experience something new... all wasted, dead and gone. I carried this behavior through college and now I'm about to graduate with a meme liberal arts major. I originally intended on going to law school but I doubt it at this point. Anyways I could go on but I don't want to add to my blog post and self-pity. I'm just not meant for this world.

I agree with you. I find in him a most fecund soil compared to Évola

That's you just trying to rationalize everything. Your emotional base is there but you have pushed yourself to only think. And that collective bullshit is you trying to make you part of something again; giving yourself worth. There is no inherent worth, create it you useless fuck.

Evola is 75% memes.

>The answer to solipsism is deeper solipsism
Maybe not, user. You can't change the past but you can do better in the future

This has been the basic conceit of liberalism for the past 80 years and right now we're witness its failure and collapse. I don't know how dumbass Stinerfags still don't understand this: chronic individualism leaves you at the mercy of those who don't share your pretentious ideals

The situation of a white person in an American prison is the fate of individualists in a world governed by tribal loyalties

When you're surrounded by ugly violent brown apes who only see you as a safe white target, suddenly spooks become very fucking real very fucking quick. It doesn't matter if you see yourself as an amorphous blob of corporeal matter who only exists to satisfy its own greed, because everybody around you associates you with a particular group regardless of whether that jibes with your highly selective interpretation of reality or not.

If you want to pursue your individual happiness, you had better find a group to help you acquire the security to achieve those ends first

You sound incredibly naive and frankly quite stupid

how so

Self fulfilling proficy. You are what you do. Absolutly no awareness.

Thanks anons, I'm only 22 so you're both probably right. I know I sound like an overly dramatic defeatist but it seems like the best parts of life have passed me by and I'm turning into a hollow shell of a man, bitter and spiteful. I struggle to find any redeeming qualities in myself. I still have some hope for the future, but I'm trying to set my expectations low. I've been disappointed too many times already, and I have nobody to blame but myself.

I don't know how to manage stress nor money. Before my downfall can someone offer some tips?

It's obvious you have no awareness. This selfpitty is disgusting.

Start doing things as they come, don't put them off as stress. Everything can be fun, it's your attitude that makes things bad. Start working out and trancend society and be who you desire, your weakness is trash and actually nonexistent, they only are because you allow then to.

I think everyone subconsciously has a "heroic fantasy" (heroic not being good, heroic being relative to the person seeing themselves as a "hero") Just recently someone acted theirs out by committing a terrorist attack, but that I think is an extreme example. Most people's heroic fantasies are much more subtle but not much less malicious. Free speech is a topic where I see this fantasy come to life in other people, especially of the extreme right of left. I think that on a subconscious level no one really wants "freedom of speech" in a legal sense. In fact, I think many subconsciously have a "heroic fantasy" about repressing all those who go against their ideological lens.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
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(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
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To be dead to have no feeling
To be dry and spermless
Like a girl, like a girl
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
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(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
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He read way too much into certain mumbo jumbo mystical texts, particularly Eastern stuff, placing value on it only because of it's being opposed to what he perceived as modern decadence.

This same confirmation bias led him to have some very weird readings of older Western societies, particularly Ancient Rome: he more or less completely ignores characters, events and even epochs (the time period between the Third Punic War and Cicero's consulate for example) that don't suit the way he wants to portray things.

He was everything Nietzsche had already demolished in the first chapter of Beyond Good and Evil, a man with an idea he was chained to, set on imposing it on the world, and if the facts didn't suit it, "so much worse for the facts," as Hegel would have it.

You are just depicting our capacity to act as individuals.

>22
Remember frustration means you have an obstacle to overcome and are getting closer to a breakthrough. Don't grow complacent about the future or you'll be saying the same thing in ten years but with less chance to recover. Fucking carve yourself into who you want to be, because you are going to have to live with it ten years from now too. Create redeeming qualities in yourself if you don't have any.
>bitter
Don't. Read Winnie The Pooh and House at Pooh Corner. I know that sounds retarded but it might teach you to be kind to the other animals and realise you can try your best even if it's not perfect.

This reminds me of a documentary I saw years ago. Not because it's similar but because it shows how perspectives change over time. It was about the Texas tower shooting, before mass shootings were a meme, when this guy convinced he had a brain tumor climbed to the top of a tower and started shooting random people below because he thought it would get the brain tumor diagnosed. That's not the part that stuck with me though. They interviewed a couple of the survivors and one man stuck in my mind. He said something along the lines of
>We found out who had the capacity to be a hero and who didn't. I didn't. I could see people running out from cover, into the line of fire, to help injured people and drag them to safety. I couldn't move. I found out I wasn't a hero. I had always wondered whether I would be a hero or not in those kind of circumstances. Finally, I got my answer. I was thankful to know I wasn't a hero, because not knowing had always bothered me. I didn't mind I wasn't a hero like I thought I might be, because I finally had proof who I was and what I would do and the question was answered for me.
Not an exact quote, but he made basically the same existential point: it was the not knowing that really plagued him and once he knew he didn't need the fantasy.

Exact same thing happened to me, but in my case it was because of some speech impediments and social anxiety. I didn’t want to isolate myself, it’s just so hard to communicate to people

Are the jannies wiping all Chirstchurch related threads? Lol

How does ruminating over my past and realizing my mistakes show a lack of self-awareness? Yes I'm jaded and sometimes I wallow in self-pity but it's not like I haven't learned anything since then. I hope I can take the lessons I've learned and use them to improve my situation but the best chances I'll ever have are probably behind me. I'm only being realistic, hopefully I'm wrong.

I'm trying my hardest to not repeat the mistakes of my past and to find opportunities to better myself, it's just difficult to see so many other people my age being so far ahead of me. But you're right, I'm too young to feel this hopeless. I try to channel my regrets into motivation. Life is a beast I'm constantly fighting and it seems like I'm losing but I won't let it conquer me, not yet. Thanks for the advice and encouragement user.

>it's just difficult to see so many other people my age being so far ahead of me.
Take Faulkner's advice: don't try to be better than your contemporaries, be better than yourself.

yellow fish yellow fish y fish e fish l fish l fish o fish w fish

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Me in the back

My first year of college I had a really rough time. A girl I was somewhat friends with in high school was also having a bad time at her college, we texted constantly during the day and had long phone conversations on the weekends. It was really nice, the closest I've ever felt to another person.

We hung out a lot during the following summer and then when we resumed school she stopped keeping in touch and I've seen her maybe twice since. Now that've completed my transition into hermitdom I find myself really missing those dumb conversations. Ever since I was 12 or so I've struggled to fit in socially, never having good friends or a gf or anything. For that little while freshman year I felt like I did.

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I’ve become so pessimistic over the years I find it hard to believe that the average female is even capable of romantic feelings and love. Years ago when I read about it on the internet I thought it was just a misogynist meme, but then it kept getting reinforced in real life, again and again

Is any one else here still kinda perplexed about the christchurch shooting and how a deranged living meme killed 49 people in cold blood?

Almost every potential way of making my life more interesting, revolts me.
The few exceptions, I feel, would be to stressful for my body and I will never change anyway.
I am descending into a hermit-like neet lifestyle, and the room for future change is getting narrower by the day. I'm ok with it though, I just don't want to get sick.

Memes and humor have the power of letting your guard down, and make you entertain ideas that you otherwise wouldn’t. It’s all ‘just a meme’ until something shitty happens. Hell if you look on /pol/ right now even the shooting is being memed away under the rug

when a chick wants really bad to get back with you but does nothing substantial about it, what does it mean?

Damn, yet another example of young people so deprived of purpose in life they fall for ultraism. I blame the fatalists.

Why im so afraid of living? I make tons of excuses just to stay in underground named apathy and fear. Its fear has taken over my frail heart with its cold tendrons and doesnt to let it go. I cant hear with the heart wants to say and mind says too much but its in short circuit mode. I dont know what to do and book reading only gets me that far.

I feel as if the culture of memes surrounding the chans has lost it's innocence today.

stoicism works for stress
and just be more aware of how much money you have coming in and going out

Not sure what to call it

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yeah its fucked me up
things arent going to be the same after this

Stirner himself was not a psychological egoist. He recognised that unselfishness and group identity are the most dominant positions amongst the people. Nor did he believe in the silly notion of 'chronic individualism' that you're trying to present, where you reject all alliances and fend for yourself at all costs. Stirner would agree that you should align yourself with a group if it serves your interests and 'make use of society' when needed; his only point is that you should not become possessed by the spook at its core (nation, humanity, whiteness, etc.) and instead make it yours, to use as you please.
>suddenly spooks become very fucking real very fucking quick
You understand that the thing which influences an action is not the same as the action itself? The racist blacks in your analogy would be possessed by the spook, Blackness, but the actions which proceed from this possession are not themselves spooks. This is an elementary objection.

Just to give you an example of this sentiment from Stirner himself:
>The fetters of reality cut the sharpest welts in my flesh every moment. But my own I remain. Given up as serf to a master, I think only of myself and my advantage; his blows strike me indeed, I am not free from them; but I endure them only for my benefit, perhaps in order to deceive him and make him secure by the semblance of patience, or, again, not to draw worse upon myself by contumacy. But, as I keep my eye on myself and my selfishness, I take by the forelock the first good opportunity to trample the slaveholder into the dust. That I then become free from him and his whip is only the consequence of my antecedent egoism.

Please read the philosophers you criticise.

I don't know why, but /pols/ response to the recent shooting has bothered me more than usual. Typically I find it distasteful, but I recognize that their role is important in pushing the boundaries of free speech. This one seems worst for some reason. Maybe because all the Yang memes lowered my gaurd. Idk

As the spirit of Adam Smith, I gotta say you don't know what you're talking about. How you came to teach a course in anything is incredible.

Whole shooting footage was memey as fuck.
>subscribe to pewdiepie
>i am the god of hell fire
>initial d gas gas gas
>remove kebab song and even inscription on gun itself
>manifesto of shitposting where he was influenced by spyro 3

Chicks aren't supposed to do anything but let you know what they want. Then you do it.

As the spirit of Richard Cantillon, stop plagiarising my work wholesale, Adam, you clearly do not understand it.

On this heroic fantasy, I think that these subconscious fantasies are doomed to be of an identitarian nature. In a liberal-capitalist society where the media's goal is to divide the worker into tribes, the heroic fantasy becomes one of tribal dominance. Ethnonationalists, Antifa members, Evangelicals, etc. all have the same fantasy: complete removal of all that could be considered Other.

how so?

i can't get over the fact that he streamed the shooting on facebook and then asked people to subscribe to pewdiepie. wtf is happening with this world?!

The alt-right wants to claim PDP as "one of them" while the libcap media sees him as evil. They want you to think this is due to him saying things that are politically incorrect (which is what makes the right attracted to him), but the truth is that as the most popular person on YouTube he represents the threat of "new media" to the hegemony of "old media"

This one was really public. I'm pretty jaded to gore since I kind of grew up on Yea Forums but holy fuck first person view of hat event was quite disturbing to me. Not shocking but I just can't believe how evil he was. And I remember the guy who took pictures of himself raping his german shepherd.
The young woman was screaming for help and then he shot her. I recognize nothing human in these actions, and yet he talks and acts like a normal person, references stuff I know about. Very fucking uncanny.

FUCKKKK i hate so much being an ugly virgin. there's this girl in class who always sits near my field of vision, and it's bothering me so much. i basically can't pay attention to class because my eyes are always gravitating towards her. if i'm not staring directly at her, then she's in my field of vision, and she shines all over the other objects, and i can only pay attention to that little corner in which she appears. i need to find a spot where i can't see her, but i live far away from college and always get late to classes, and the seats are already taken.

Same boat here. I grew out of my /pol/ phase years ago, but something about the way they’re responding to this just disturbs me in a way that their memes never did before while I was still going there. It also sucks because I have a feeling the media won’t know the difference between 8ch and Yea Forums, and they’re going to try to shut down this whole place and I won’t have anywhere decent to discuss literature anymore. Every other place is obsessed with YA and flavor of the month crap.

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I have never understood the motives for an action I reject so violently so well

Just some quick corrections. He didn't do the shooting because "he thought it would get the brain tumor diagnosed". He noticed changes in his behaviour, thinking and ability to focus, all affecting his personality. He mentions all of this in his suicide note and advises that they do an autopsy which might give some answers. Not only does he carry out the shooting, but he also murders his mother and wife prior to that. The autopsy revealed that he did turn out to have a tumor (glioblastoma) that was pressing on his amygdala. I'm not necessarily saying that he was a victim of his biology (experts in charge of the case at the time say it was unrelated), but the story is far more interesting than you presented it.

That's the worst part. I know exactly what drove him to do it. And now people like "us" (imageboard users) are now doomed to be "the enemy"

death

Just reading about some dead Irishman.

theamericanconservative.com/articles/remembering-a-reluctant-irishman/

I can't breathe very well right now, part of my condition. What was just on my mind a moment ago? Dante's poetic braggadocio, how he says he was accepted immediately among the philosophers in the citadel, and how he assigns whoever he wants to specific circles of hell. I was also thinking about being hieeeezzzgh, reading about the swirling whirlwinds of souls in Dante's second circle of hell. I've been trying to contemplate what the ultimate aesthetic is lately so I can achieve self actualization as well.

Maybe it is time to fold into ourselves, to fashion our fireproof rooms.

fuck this is it.
honestly the reactions here are the only place i can relate to.
People here are different to the rest of Yea Forums culture, and Yea Forums is less extreme than 8ch. so we're connected but (most of us) aren't anywhere near that pol stuff.

is it going to be ok? the only people i feel comfortable with culturally are anonymous posters on a low traffic board on a website with a horrible reputation

Yeah I wasn't interested in the shooter part of the story but the hero fantasy of the survivor. Sorry if I didn't make that clear, I thought about looking up the details because I couldn't remember the tower name either, but then I figured fuck that it's irrelevant to my point to mention anything about the shooter's details at all. It could have been a robot firing and the guy I was interested in would still be thinking about the hero problem being solved off him that day.

I caught a cold, im sitting in my attic, wasting away on my computer, thinkin about all I could do right now but not doing it, how long this will continue. Frustrated with myself for having no attention span yet still very confident in my capacities very confident in myself overall, I just have this nasty bug... not the cold but the victim cluster c personality complex. Think freud said that ppl get masochistic tendencies from trying to bring on a painful but inevitable outcome, in order to escape the feeling of helplessness and gain some control over the event, thus becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. And when kierkegaard said boredom is the despairing refusal to be oneself I think this is roughly referring to the same thing. Think this is the whole centerpiece of the modern era and the source of much of the bleakness of modernist literature, cause it's all very busy circumscribing the cognitive dissonance of modern, postindustrial man, largely as a consequence of industrial capitalism and its immutable machinery of capital intensive infrastructure... the modern condition is mass, widespread masochism as a psychological cope for the dysfunctional yet inevitable aspects of postindustrial capitalist society... masochism is the habit of doing what you don't want to do, it doesn't mean you get off on it, it just means that you do it even if you don't like it, that while you're doing it you feel inside "I don't want to do this, I want to do something else" yet continuing to do it, and maybe coming up with nice little excuses for why it's not so bad and how you ought to do it, it's a necessary duty that I must endure, etc... masochism is cognitive dissonance. The modern man is not himself because he has abandoned himself as a survival feature, he has abandoned his pragmatic legislature and adopted a taste for pain instead. Mainly the pain of labor and servitude. Modern man has stockholm syndrome.

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i wish i could make you some nice soup to make you feel better

Order some Tom Ka from a thai joint. Spicy. Over rice.
Cures a cold, swear to god.

rat-a-tat-tat. what else?

I've always told myself "I'm not ready" I'm not ready because I'm fat, because I'm dumb, because I don't know want to say, because I don't have money. Now I'm 23 and life just went by without me doing anything I should've done.

it's genetics, dude. most of your behavior is hard wired into your brain, just like IQ. we're doomed to live life like this. the "excuses" you make, aren't actually you making the "excuses". it's your genetics acting up, and your subconcious rationalizing it. embrace inaction

unironically low-iq post

it's low iq to deny the heritability of IQ and genetic behaviors.

i shaved and i regret it

are beards actually played out and anti-masculine?

>i wish we could still be friends and you could help me with money
lmao, do women actually think like this? get a job, leech

IQ is fairly heritable and behavior is somewhat heritable. Upbringing plays a much larger role in behavior than genetics do.

24yo male, born, raised and currently living in latin-american country. Involutary celibate. Have dropped-out of uni twice. Feel as if working life isn't really for me. Still working 9 hours a day in an accountancy office, been almost 4 years since I got this job. Didn't have the faintest idea about what an accountant does, learnt everything here, neither like it nor dislike it, except when I feel burn-out and I just want to kys myself. Being the only male in this office, I have to listen to my coworkers talk about their toddlers on a daily basis. Want to write, I write snippets while I should be working, small stories I never finish. Have lots of ideas, but I can't get to write them, seems like a huge effort. Met with my psychoanalyst twice a week, my OCD seems to be under control, seems like the real problems go deeper, I just hate living. Adult life. Catcher in the Rye hit home way too close. Wonder if executive functions can be developed at this stage of my life.

I miss my friend Javed and I wish he would come back to life now.

The NZ shooter did the "OK" meme hand sign in court. The internet was a fucking mistake and needs to be shut down.

---

It's raining and the lighting flashes keep lighting up my room

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Im a man of many flaws and inconsistencies. I think the internet and in particular videogames have detached us from reality. NPC meme, recaptioning screenshots of the Christchurch massacre with videogame motifs or even the idea of "lifehacks" are a serious reminder of this fact. OFten, i feel like i am in a game, a simulation and often im disassociated from reality, feeling as if my experience and my existence is not really my own. I believe many people feel this way.

That'd be the narcissism.

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I always believe im a pretty worthwhile man. PRety good looking, not stupid, this and that but yesterday, while on a date with a girl im dating, i felt so impotent. I worried all day whether i really liked this girl but when i saw her, all doubt, much like that Monkees song, disappeared. She isnt objectively hte prettiest, her figure not the most beautiful but to me, she is so overwhelmingly beautiful. Is this love?

I'm tired of human scums. This world is so full of weak-minded people, jews, national socialists, greasy latinos, prostitutes, racist plague and pacifists, all stuck in the same cliff of trash regimented by totalitarian and corrupted governments. I've nothing but hate against everyone and everything, and I wish humanity would disappear from the face of the earth, then the world would be a better place... Yeah, ''Nature is dangerous, that's why we need society and shit'' well morons, that how we should be! Give each one a spear and settle their affairs without interference from third parties, letting the passions flow. Interpretations and abstract concepts are the basis of our suffering, if we were in our goddamnit state of nature, things would be different. You don't see dogs crying when they see other dogs die. It should be the same reaction for men. The human genocide must happen.

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its not who you are, but the choices you make, that matter

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Looking forward to the coming response from the Muslims 2bh

Small-scale guerilla violence is becoming increasingly regular
A corrupt and dying deep state is deciding whether to permit the orange nationalist reality TV star to win again, or instead try out Obama 2: Sexy Brown Bimbo Edition
Children are cutting off their genitals because some fetishist on CNN told them it was cool
Half the population is ODing on porn and corn syrup
The other half is made up of sullen debt slaves
Mass surveillance
Drone strikes
Paki rape gangs roam freely
Infinite war
Suicide's up
Wages are down
TVs in your pocket, turned on forever
Obnoxious black teens are giving themselves brain cancer from showing off their wireless ear buds
Biggest political controversy of the year so far was whether some bulb headed 80 IQ Somali would lick the boot of AIPAC
The Nobel Prize went to a stoned pop singer Jew who lifted his acceptance speech from SparkNotes
The EU is disintegrating
Islam is rising
China is stalling
America is fat, paralyzed, and angry about it

The future is now and it's Yea Forums as fuck

I'm male and it is to a woman.

Do you think dogs don't suffer for the loss of one of their pack?

I may be in love

gross. There's nothing worse than being in love.

what the fuck lol

You from NY too?

This picture just seals the deal on this guy being a halfwitted useful idiot.

If he could put the pieces together he'd have gone after jews. All those big bad muslims he killed are just going to be replaced, probably in greater numbers thanks to this.

This is right up there with Nick Cruz and his "brainwashed by government... programs" video in cringiness.

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Not even affected by these terrorist attacks anymore. They are just going to keep on happening, we are dealing what we've sown and we can't go back

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My friend told me today that he wishes he were illiterate. He wishes every day that he were illiterate. He wants to go blind, so he should never have to discern right from wrong again. I admired him because of the strength of his will, his hunger for understanding. It's rare that I find anybody like that; rarer still that I can befriend them without the costs outweighing the benefits. Now I understand that the strength of his will is just the force of him pushing against himself. He just wants to be dumb. no homo but I'm lonely.

i think i fucked up a friendship that means a lot to me

I can hear her groaning as the birth pangs increase in frequency. They are marginalizing themselves, accelerating the process of annihilation. The writing on the wall is obvious. Paranoid, rootless, they are weak and react with ferocity. They look, starry eyed at the deeds of this fathers, seeing the conquests, the glory, the spirit, while forgetting, or ignoring, that this bone-strewn path lead to present world, to the phenomenon of the great replacement. We are victims of our own success. No king, no class, remains in the palace indefinitely. One cannot blame the newcomers. Yes, the are passive destroyers. But what is left to save? The rot has already set in - is there any surprise that it crumbles? Our fathers are responsible, for better or worse. They were not hapless victims; they were active arsonists. This blind, anarchic impulse is fruitless, self-destructive, serves only the purposes of higher mechanisms. The spilling of innocent blood is unfortunate, regardless of the victims. Are these echoes or premonitions of the charnel houses? No, it is only idiotic rage, the rage of a dispossessed child who was promised the plantation but is left with a patch of plum trees.

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I live in my head.

>22
Absolutely pathetic. Dumb nigga if you already hit your peak at fucking 22 than kill yourself already. The contempory cult worship of dumb youth is annoying af, I came from am immigrant family so I viewed this mindset on age with an air of difference. Even if I was a world known millionaire at that age my family would still treat me like a piece of shit kid, as they should. You literally don't know anything you're barely out of HS lmao. OH NO I WONT GO (COLLEGE?) HOUSE PARTIES NO MORE!!!! MY LIFE IS OVER!!!

If you think like this than you actually may be right, you don't have what it takes. Early twenties is whuere you start making serious fucking plans on what you're going to do, not bitch and moan about things you didn't do

Doing drugs does not make you a better writer
It just makes you have to call a cab while youre wandering the city because youre incapacitated
don't do drugs
write sober
thanks for coming to my ted talk
*snorts melatonin and goes to sleep*

how do i surround myself with ppl like this

not him but i grew up very serious at a young age and made all these serious plans only to find out that it's all for nothing and I prevented myself from living my best years for no reason whatsoever.

>serious fucking plans on what you're going to do
what are serious plans? work? school? I used to think these were serious things but now I don't see it that way, I instead see them as necessaries to postindustrial society. I see no point in working as it only causes me pain, and my capacity for enduring pain, or putting up with things, or convincing myself to do them anyway, seems to be impaired... I only want happiness, but I didn't get it when I was young because I grew up in a violent household, and now you say to me "alright, enough fun, time for work..." how can I mature if I never got to be young... I need help.

I share your feeling

I... feel

>work school
If its needed as a means to achieve whatever goal you have in mind, then yes. If not, then its a waste of time. Actualize yourself, set an absurd standard and height to reach based on only your own values and conviction, not whatever facet of modernity you attach as the source of your frustration. Nobody said it was easy. In fact, figuring out what is really "you" and what isn't is the hardest part of life, and will never be fully complete. After seriously attempting at figuring this out at your age, you should have a standard idea or fantasy, one that conjures up instinctualy, even if it isn't set in stone. Stop pondering and act, act in carrying out your will on the world or act in willfully retreating, putting away anxieties, fears, and doubts of the outside world and embracing a life of reflection. You are in limbo between these two worlds. Both are extremely difficult

I want to quit video games but I find myself drawn to the same ones. Mostly War Thunder. My friends play it and I had deleted it with no intention of going back but did so in order to play with them. We have fun but I think it's my friends and not the game itself because I'm bored of it. I'm just bored of a lot of stuff.

There are some video games I like like Victoria 2 and unironically Stardew Valley. I know they're wastes of time but they're a nice distraction from when I'm not doing other things. I think there's a difference between things you enjoy that are a waste and things like War Thunder which is just grinding and addicting by design to encourage the spending of money.

After I shower and eat I'm going to delete War Thunder and explain to my friends that I hate it. It's not fun.

Have you ever read the Stranger, or seen a Ryan Gosling movie?
I love others deeply but can't convey my passions and desires in ways other than physical

>but can't convey my passions and desires in ways other than physical
What do you mean?

musings of a pseud

passion verbalised becomes a confused taxonomy, language is insufficient

nothing brings me joy anymore

Read from numerous sources that life is not meant to be pleasurable or even joyful. It's meant to be a kind of 'school of hard knocks' cirriculum for your eternal soul.

Bis disheartening. But thems the breaks. You can end it early but you'd probably have to retake the same lessons next incarnation. Better to get it out of the way now.

Same. I think it's because memes and shitposting are so obviously not only a reaction but also a cause this time. It's not meme magic but something concrete. And the terrorist is both somewhat coherent and a part of society, unlike Elliot for example.

Think my wisdom tooth popped my cheekbone. Been walking around with a bruise for a few days but it's much better than before it moved down more, less pressure. Either that or I cracked myself one in the face while passed out.

This. But I want to anymore.

Don't want to, fuck.

I have no problem with that mosque shit that happened or their attitude towards it, really scary things are those Boeings that crashed.

You're going to die anyway who gives a shit if it's planes or guns or Muslims or experimental drugs. Think about it#

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High IQ post.

I don't like peeing. How do i become like a dog and pee through my mouth instead?

Fuck, now I have to poop.
Why do I have to do these things? I don't want to.

anyone know any books that will help me summon rain?

God, you're pathetic.

>mom going out for a walk for a few hours
>not home yet
>not answering my text
>immediately think shes dead
hate thinking like this, how do i stop it?

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All of christianity after the second century or so has just been a big LARP. The new testament could not be more straightforward yet billions of people all this insane nonsense that's been built up around it.

Stop being Christian.

i tried weed for the first time the other day and it did nothing except make my eyes itchy and mouth dry (it was an edible.) alcohol is far superior.

depends on the definition
if one employs Marx' definition it does
if you use some other definition it might not
discussions like these are completely meaningless if one doesn't agree on the definitions

To few people dream of being useful

Very good post.

thank you

My IP range is banned from posting images/starting threads.

Anyone care to give me some recs if my favourite authors are Proust and Woolf?
Thanks in advance.

I saw you in a dream this morning. You were swimming in the ocean with your friends. Huge sea creatures around, but not scary, harmless. The biggest was a turtle with a cartoonishly expressive face. He was burrowed down in the sand trying to sleep and you would shake him and he would get riled up and make angry faces. And you'd all laugh. I looked for the scars, there were just a few light marks where they should've been. You were so, so happy.

I want to date an Aries.

Stultified development of philosophy in the minds of the common man is the culprit not "capitalism" you fag.

god I want to FUCK so BAD I'm going to write a short story about FUCKING an ARIES NEED to get my FUCKING ROCKS off AHGGhgdyhuasG HUHUUUYim,zxvsdssssdaf tre

Edibles are VERY different than smoking actual bud. I used to be a stoner but I haven't touched edibles in years, never liked them. Ymmv.

Is there any works that talk about certain themes? Specifically, the theme is: realizing your current living routine will not be viable or simple cease, and the stuggle to either find a new routine for life or doing away with routine altogether.

I’ve finally figured out a theme to work with something I’ve been writing and revising for years now.

Well 4chanaran, this last one proves it, huh? I should go back to avoiding you. Even when saturated with glowing motherfuckers, there's something about your frequency that is incredibly beautiful and inherently dangerous when I encounter it. I'm sorry. It did some good, I think, but the cost isn't worth it. There are better ways to build bridges.

The book's almost finished, user.

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What if God made Adam and Eve and they didn't worship God? Then what? Will he just kill him like he did Lilith and try again?
Were Adam and Eve the first out of dozens of humans that believed in him?

Is she okay?

Girlfriend and I aren't seeing each other as much as we used to due to conflicting schedules. I'm starting to miss having her around or spending time together, even if it's just lounging on a couch. She says she misses me too, but I'm starting not to buy it, and I'm beginning to doubt our relationship. When we do try to get together, either she isn't free or I'm not. She's picking up her habit of drinking and smoking again, then wandering around late into the night/early morning - all because her friends do it, and she doesn't want to feel "left out". I voice my concern and it falls on death ears.

I just don't know where to take it from here.

I don't mean to blog-post; it's been on my mind for these past couple of days. I needed to rant.

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I can garantee 100% that she's cheating on you. If not, then at least, she doesn't like you anymore, and is probably flirting (subconciously or not)with other guys to search for a suitable partner.

first time is always weird, i ate an enourmous edible my first time and didnt get high at all

I thought about that. At the same time, I have this thin cloak of "denial" as I know her schedule is legitimately packed from hopping to classes to work, and everything in-between. However, that wouldn't explain the other things. You're probably right. Relationships suck, guess that's apart of life though.

"new residents every week!" complained mister jeremy, of
number 43 windover street
"its almost enough to drive you mad!"
mister jeremy owned many blue-collar dollars, courtesy of his honest
factory foremans job
the elephants in the smog filled room of his lament was the fact that the new residents
in question were moving in and out of a lovely, spacious
property owned by the mister
jeffery in question. he didn't know why, and it reflected badly on him
to see such swift and not so subtle comings and goings.
in and out of his flat they moved, fresh faced, old faced, rot faced, all
the faced were rotating and
swivelling through this horrendous ferris
wheel of unsatisfyed tenants
some had pets. one kept goldfish, some of which managed to throw itself into the space heater.
mrs jeffery caterwauled about
"fish responsibility" and "lack of a moral backbone". mr jeffery quietly wondered if
goldfish even had a backbone,
and decided to look it up in the library later.

very old poem i wrote when i was 17. i still rather like it

I want to write a store where the characters are akin to .gifs on repeat but I think my ideas are too abstract for society to understand.

I think you're just a hack. It's not that society wouldn't understand you, it's that you have no deeper comprehension of what you're viewing. And you are viewing it, aren't you? You didn't actually invent any of your ideas.

No one has invented anything.

Mmm. I've heard this argument before. But I still insist far more creativity is involved in combining old elements in new ways as compared to simple plagiarism.

You hack.

Link me a book that describes what I'm saying because I would read it.
I just want to write about robots from a robot's perspective, living in a world stuck on repeat and I mentioned that maybe a few weeks ago, tried writing it, then gave up, and now I'm going to try writing it again.

Men seeking women drive me insane. Jesus Christ, the old redpill joke is absolutely true, if you're trying to catch fish ask a fisherman not a fish. Women are people. They're driven by the same base desires. It is in your best interest to be as attractive and "comfortably" (whatever that means to you) masculine as possible.

Still doesn't sound like you understand your subject matter. Sounds like you had a vision of this world without any comprehension as to why it is the way it is. Sounds like you're a voyeur masquerading as a world-builder, a writer.

There's a lot of you working on some pretty hefty franchises. But what do I care. I'm not on payroll. I don't need to be noteworthy.

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>same base desires.
They're not the same.

>Sounds like you had a vision of this world without any comprehension as to why it is the way it is
yes

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I want to do so much but i can't ever start when I do I either get overwhelmed and give up so easily which i hate and sends me into an anger then sadness phase because I view myself terribly, I see giving up is pathetic but my self is begging to give up.
The times I do succeed, the high feels good go to sleep being proud that I actually made a step, come next day I cant keep the rythm
"Lemme just do this or that real quick, then I'll pick up from yesterday!, today might be a good day!"
>do nothing
>reflect and try to start again
I swear the sadness I feel when I reflect at times is a feel no image can represent. fighting myself quite literally, I'm incomptent but I wish to improve, if i ever make it i will be happy with myself.

Warosu is your friend, user.

I didnt proof read that fuck me whatever

Goddamn the French are awesome. 18 weeks of fucking the government and they're not done. They really need to start hanging cops from lamp posts and then guillotine Macron and his gang. Unironically.

What did they do? And where can I find one?

The Pope needs an army again. Christians are being persecuted on multiple continents, it's time to resurrect the Catholic military orders.

No.

the fact that no women has ever felt any kind of attraction towards me is starting to get in the way of my writing. i can't write about any kind of sexual love. i have no idea what it feels like. i can only write about platonic love, and that gets old fast.

I think you know what to do.

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It is worth noting that, despite all outward appearances, I bargained my soul away to the Devil. Of course, he isn't real - just an incorporeal figure roaming the pine thickets in my mind. It was in July of last year that I made this pact, and so far it has worked in my favor. The terms were simple enough: I pledge my common bond with humanity to receive the gift of prophecy. Now, at this point many of you will, no doubt, consider this pointless dribble, the deranged ramblings of a delusional, insolent youth. I am all of that and more. In addition to the pact, I made the decision to wager that, as long as I focus my attention on the extraordinarily grand - to strive for only greatness - he will keep me from falling into the depths.

A pact like this would, most normally, place me on the outskirts of everything considered sane. Nevertheless, to hold up my end of the bargain, and to employ my prophetic genius, I have decided to enter seminary school once I complete my undergraduate degree.

God, my friends. is an insufferable Silence, a dimly lit candle in a pitch-black room. The Devil, on the other hand, is a lone oak tree standing atop a hill, whose leaves shake violently in the whirling wind as thunderclouds gather overhead.

kys myself? i'm too much of a pussy for that. and if i ever do it, i'll drown myself. shooting yourself is aesthetically unpleasing. in truth, i hold no ill towards women or anything, i know it's pretty much all my fault. i'm a beta faggot, and there's no way to fix that

YEAH GOOD SHIT GET THAT LITTLE BITCH TO STFU WORK HARDER BRO GET THAT BREAD AND BUY A NEW IPHONE AND APPLE WATCH, WATCH MY GRIND PUSSY. FUCK THINKING, FUCK REGRET NO BAD THOUGHTS ON MY MAMA DOE

kek, try and stop us. We'll create an order like the Hospitallers or the Teutonic Knights, only this time they'll have automatic rifles and grenade launches. Kevlar armor with an imprint of the cross stamped onto it, tiny relics dangling on chains from the barrels of M-16s. We'll employ the tactics of insurgent forces to protect Christian populations and destroy the enemies of the Church. Imagine a private military force like Blackwater, but totally loyal to Rome.

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I was making an Elliot Rogers joke and I meant to kill women. But, uh... man. You need something to get your mind off the broads, mate.

What is your speech impediment severity honestly cause that could mean anything.

should I be worried that I was rooting for him

You know there's a difference between suffering and self-pity, right?

Accelerationists, both left wing and deranged right wing /pol/lacks, don't actually understand acceleration from a problem solving perspective. While D&G's ATP only mentions acceleration once, the entire work (and Guattari's other works) draw on the pre-theoretical thought that led to chaos and dynamical system theory (catastrophe theory). A big finding of these research programs is that can't actually predict what is going to happen under these scenarios where events are accelerating through phase space and transitioning to something else. It's chaotic by its nature.

I've said this before in the girardfag threads, but I think it needs reiterating with that moron shooting up a mosque and /pol/ is defending acceleration (this critique also applies to the Landian crew who believe acceleration will give them an AI god; again, you can't predict anything).

Since you can't predict the outcome of accelerating phase transitions, it's an objectively bad strategy, a priori, since strategy is defined as a means-ends relation. It's worthless as a political strategy. You aren't actually problem solving anything, since you don't know if you will get your solution to the problem. Even worse, as D&G say, your strata could get blown out by a black hole and lead to total destruction. It's stunning to me that D&G simultaneously talk about desire, yet the desire to reach some ends through some means contradicts the ontology they were using from science. D&G were wrong about its practical benefits, and acceleration has now become a perfect tool for moron edgelords who aren't interested in critiquing its assumptions.

The only thing D&G were consistent about is the irrationality underlying it all, which is exactly how accelerationists now come across.

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I see your point but I think you're downplaying his suffering and you also come across as a dumb nigger

really good user

this has potential, keep running with this

Selective Mutism, specifically stuttering + severe blocking. The former doesn't bother me so much but the latter has derailed my whole life

Someone sleep with me PLEASE

They set some banks on fire. Media is calling it life threatening because there were bourgies living above the bank.

Why can't Americans be this unpussified? The blacks have the right idea when it comes to protests. If only they went further maybe things could change. The American moderate is too cucked, though.

I'm unironically waiting for them to storm the presidential palace and parade Macron out in his underwear. They really do seem to be building up to it. Macron's so fucking weak and stupid, this is going to end very badly for him.

How can any being be omnipotent when the fact I have existed here, in this moment, cannot ever be erased from the true timeline? This is just another god-mountain problem, of course. And the obvious answer is omnipotence means being able to solve these conundrums through un-explainable means.

But for me that ends up being asked to simply believe in some inscrutable cosmic force that I have no knowledge of what it wants or does not want. Pascal's wager. And if I did know what it wanted then it would not be inscrutable, and thus not be omnipotent, and thus not worthy of worship, only obedience to its superior power aka slavery.

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First therapist visit coming in up in two days. Kind of nervous, anyone have any experience with this sort of thing? I'm seeing him for depression and maybe body dysmorphia/gender issues

good luck mate, never done it myself but you're doing the right thing.

I've come to the conclusion following this shooting and what is coming from it that politics is profoundly gay and I have to separate myself from it wherever possible. I'll just continue to vote for labor (AU) based on policies that ill check in on before each election but other than that I cannot accommodate the brain space to be following this shit. Any time someone gets serious about politics I will tune out.
The ideal future is one without people, or at least one with people profoundly different to now.

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funny how you guys are saying this, yet the non-crazy non-leftists have been saying the same thing for the last few years about the left's reaction to islamic terror attacks.

>I'll just continue to vote for labor
business as usual then, do you guys have any self reflection at all?

I am such an idiot, I didn’t ask her out afterwards

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Same. Happened upon qt writer at the end of the quarter. We got along well all quarter and we had a nice conversation at the end there. Should have at least tried to ask her out. It was literally the perfect opportunity. Even if she said no, the quarter was over so we wouldn't have to have any awkward interactions in class. And now I'll probably never see her. Why am I such a fucking idiot bros?

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shes fine, im just anxious 24/7

Well Labor is hardly an extreme position to take, I just want schools to have money and the planet not to get fucked.
The point I was making is that I'm not going to follow it any more, I used to take active positions on everything that came my way. Let the politicians run it I'll just vote for whoever gives public schools money and doesn't fuck nature too much.

Gambling is pretty fucking stupid when you think of it

Labor doesn’t give a shit about the environment and more funding to public schooling is just inflating the mess... best to tap out of politics and donkey vote. I will let nature take its course

Also it was the islamic shootings that got me politically motivated, I realised that there were people who agreed with most of what I'd agree with but would refuse to say a bad word about Islam. So I wanted to start following everything closely and talking about itd

What would be the acceleration ticket? I'll print out pamphlets and hand them out at the town hall in may.

All my problems with girls disappeared as soon as I stopped caring and learned to love the bomb

esoteric Palmerism is the future of ironic democracy

I'm in my 20's, I'm acting on things that ultimately are ways of disrespecting myself (smoking, drinking and eating somewhat poor, specially because I have a pretty bad case of gastritis). That will change now.

How do I manage time?

nigger

>love the bomb
Nani?

>it's just difficult to see so many other people my age being so far ahead of me

Why does this bother you? Do you think they will want to dominate you? If not, isn't it a fundamentally good thing that there are motivated people in the world who you can admire, emulate and become friends with?

I fucked it up, Yea Forums. I fucked it up. I hate myself, my self inprovement is worth nothing, I hate myself. I aint worth shit. I’m the kind of guy who servers as a mark of success by how much he is a piece of shit in comparison. I’m squatted in some dark street smoking the shittiest cigarette I could find while thinking about how much shit I am. Yea Forums is all that I have. Ha, thinking I could quit it till easter, I barely managed a week. I loathe myself, I aint worth nothing. God help me.

Dr. Strangelove is a sexual metaphor

You'll end up like a pathetic sack of shit, doing some sort of either edgy kaboom go out or a shameless cowardy death. I don't have the words to carefully explain to you how it gets to that, but that's how it is.
That or you start to meditate on what it means to have variations of capabilities on a pool of animals like us, why it may have turned out this way, why the extraordinary is exactly that and etc. Once your fear for reality dissipates and you look inwards (and not in a buddhist being is suffering bs) you'll get out of this made up doom in your head and maybe work on something you're just proud of, the kind of pride that you wouldn't let the best rethoric strip away from you.

Baby steps, there is just not other way of approaching growth. You accelerate after you're already moving, start as small as it can possibly be small. Sometimes it means taking a shower and putting your dirty clothes away to get washed, maybe decluttering your desk... you'll figure.

Man, I appreciate your comment, but I’ve been doing this shit since last August. I’m just tired. Today was reality crashing down on expectations, I really thought this self-loathing was left behind, but that was just some wishy washy bullshit. I don’t have the balls to kill myself and can’t be anything but a failure, maybe my destiny is just to be here as a witness. I heard good advice from all kinds of decente people, but at the end I am shit. And shit is gonna be shit. As people say, we need losers to have winners.

Wish me luck boys. I had a surge of Chad-like power and sperged out after it faded. Now I must reassemble everything.

BANDS I GOT NO BANDS
BANDS I GOT NO BANDS

gucci on my wrist shirt yeah
flexing with my ice out
yeah

double cup with no ice
high af flippin out

In my 4th year of uni. i have successfully made no friends. I have had maybe 3 people I considered friends but they got bored of me. The company I keep now has no idea who I am. My mum always said "fake it until you make it" they never told me I would just end up a soulless husk who is more of an actor than a human being. It's abhorrent advice.

Now my sleep is getting worse. It takes me 2 hours to fall asleep and I wake up constantly. I'm plagued with headaches constantly. Everyone around me is doing things to help their future careers. But I'm doing nothing. Do I even want to be alive in 10 years? I truly have no idea. I saw a therapist when I was 10 because I wanted to die. Over half my life like this now. My anxiety is worse. i'm jumpy half the time, my heartbeat is so fast all the time. I can't do a lifetime of this. Either I change or I snap. I've spent so much time in therapy it never works.

I do so much exercise, i read so much, i socialise even though I hate it, i constantly go outside my comfort zone and I have nothing to show for it.

Any tips? Do I just become a monk and leave all this behind

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Do whatever brings you peace, that’s the best I can say. Frankly, I can’t escape this shit either. Go to sleep, you’ll probably feel better after, at least thats what I’m planning to do. Relax your face muscles while lying down, and insted of trying to stop your thoughts, don’t let your mind focus, keep quickly changing the images and sounds it conjures. That’s my cure for insomnia. Also, don’t force it, just let it all flow. Mentalizing something that soothes you, like a beach or a mountain might also help.

you cannot blame ur fate when u are not strong enough to take those opportunities. When ur being condenses unto one decision, the decision youve made is the one truest to yourself. You deserve the suffering you feel because you didnt love that choice, fate given to you. Yet, id say that perhaps not making that choice was you being you and that may have been the authentic decision after all. NEvertheless, you must be a man, whether athetist or christan, who practices amor fati.

i think, at the end of it all, man is solitude. Its tragic but at least youve made an effort. Dont be so harsh on yourself.

yeah its unreal. when i see her with others, we pretend we're not close because its a secret. When im looking at her within the group, i can see her flaws. But when im with her alone, shes just perfect and when i leave, i feel indecisive of my love for her but that indecision only makes me miss her more. With the excuse of reaffirming my opinion, image and love for her, i yearn to see her again, alone all week. Its very strange.

I really don't want to die. Fuck, it is so damn easy to die. Getting into a car is the scariest thing in the world. Going to public places is so damn dangerous. Being around others is dangerous. Why is it so damn easy to die? Or get mutilated? Or both? I know I will die in old age, but that is not guaranteed. We could all easily die a terrible, painful, young death. Why are we not constantly on the alert? I am now, but living in fear is no way to live. Live in fear, or die. Those seem to be the two options.

Do you have an idea what cultivated living in your own head? I'm convinced spending my time in front of TV + computers playing games during my teenage years, staying inside instead of interacting with my peers grew a type of derealisation. It's like I experienced something was off at the time but without knowing what.

I can't fall asleep and I have to be awake in four hours. I don't want to stay awake either. I woke up from a five hour nap at 1600 yesterday.

This is nightmarish.

yesterday a man told me that he hasn't slept for five years, he suffered a head trauma due to an accident, his thoughts are racing

There is something long forgotten the world is missing. It may be anything, from a beast, to dieties, to the self. We've lost touch from the proliferation of advanced technology. It is not technology to blame, but ourselves.
We may soon find ourselves in deeply troubled times, as our only real sacrifice is the self - not in death, more like destruction of our sense of reality. The contemporary Internet has proven that very little has any substance behind it. Our belief in the facades thereof is dangerous; leading us on paths to ignorance and imprisonment of the soul and mind. These are things we choose not to see, much like the tale of the frog slowly being boiled.
Quickly and without notice, we will wake up to what we believed to be true shattered, surrounding us in smithereens. Many will break down and fruitlessly attempt to piece back their realities together, and their minds will crack and shatter. Those with clear distinctions between fantasy and reality will awake to find that nothing much has changed except the rules. Believe none of what you read, and half of what you can touch.
Most importantly, question everything, and defy that which is nonsensical.

Will i become smarter from reading books or its just glorified hobby?

After she dumped me, I told her everything. My insecurities, pains. My first romance was terrible, if only for the fact that I had been living for this relationship for the better half of a decade, while she saw me as an interesting person to be with. This was my dream ever since we were youths, and I couldn't protect my own happiness.

It's so unfair to her, she's so innocent in things of love, and I burndened her with the knowledge that she has someone who had their heart broken by her, someone who finds her irressitable and perfect in everyway. I've probably filled her future relationships full of doubt now... I did this to her, knowingly and willingly, I'm so ugly.

I agree with almost everything Tarrant wrote in his manifesto, although I'm not a regular /pol/ poster. I say that because the reaction of some of the posters when it happened confirmed for me a suspicion they are just waiting for an excuse to go and start killing people. Doesn't matter if it's Muslims, Jews, or anyone so long as it's sanctioned. They aren't to be trusted.

I just dropped out of my university course (before the cutoff thankfully so I don't have to pay the course fees) and have been feeling incredibly nervous and scatterbrained about where my life is heading. I'm moving into a room to flat with my sister and some friends and am hoping to find some part time work so I don't have to leech off government handouts. I've just been longing for some kind of independent stability recently. I want to earn my own money and have my own space to call my own. I've felt like a failure for the past 6 years and I'm getting fed up with it.

I saw an angel on the train a couple weeks ago, the perfect combination of cute and sexy that transfixed me. I couldn't believe how perfect she was. Seeing her for the two stops before she got off the train ruined my entire week. It depressed me immediately as I saw her step off the train that I knew I'd never see her again.

I have so many books I've started but never finished. I can't commit to anything anymore.

That was a surreal reminder that we live in the future. It's interesting to think how someone could become so detached from reality. I get that he'd divorced individuals from the equation, that it was some martyrdom for the greater cause of fighting the overarching "invasion" that blinded him to the fact that he as a person was murdering innocent people, but the memetic and uniquely internet cultural aspect that manifest too is just insane and bizarre. The response reminded me of when that ambassador was assassinated by some extremist in Turkey. The jokes for that popped up immediately and I think the recurring trend speaks to most people's inability today (myself included) to really grapple with reality. Everything has to be through a lens of irony and humour. We're incapable of expressing ourselves earnestly for some reason.

I don't go on /pol/ but I get the vibe that they've subscribed to a cause greater than themselves kind of idealism that lets them do stupid shit like go on shootings thanks to divorcing the individualism from the equation. Belonging is a powerful need and it can be misused pretty badly. Personally I've been trying to cultivate more of a personality. I want to feel like more of an individual with my own ideas and opinions. Opinions have been the hardest thing personally, it's so hard to actually care about things enough to think through how you feel rationally about it.

I won't find meaning in self loathing and porn addiction.

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I don't care what you are you sound like a manipulative son of a bitch

How is that pirates have higher quality standards than Amazon? I bought an ebook for the first time today and I will never do it again because they sent me a poorly formatted piece of shit that doesn't even use half the screen. On top of that it's filled with highlights that can't be turned off for some reason. What a fucking hassle.

never ends

Still mind blown about how a guy went on a shooting rampage and live-streamed it like a first person shooter. This is the age of the internet, and it’s extremely fucking surreal.

Can you imagine how surreal a live-stream from 1936 Nankin would look like? We just have the means now, this guy was deranged but it seems so surreal, because he was browsing the same website as you. Mankind always had broken individuals. I am suprised that there are not that many of them, as one might think, given the traffic on psycho websites like this one.

People swear too much. I swear, I admit. It flows naturally in a sentence or not at all. Some people just inject swear words haphazardly and without thought as if they're swearing just to swear. Putting them into sentences where they could be omitted and still retain the weight.

It's like a childish need to swear. Very odd.

Dude I fuckinng LOVE minesweeper

leave it, trust me on this one, opportunities come and go

Worked as event staff for a bat mitzvah in a synagogue last night. Was super impressed by the community and kindness shown by the community there. I can see why now the Jewish community is so resilient, they really have each other's backs. Was kind of a hard event for me because I kept thinking of all of the rare merchants I had saved to my phone and felt out of place as a mid 20s white guy being there alone, especially after Christchurch. Lots of security there and they were very on edge. Definitely an interesting experience, a look into a completely different world. Kind of jealous of the girl, rich family, beautiful face, good schools, hundreds of people at her birthday party; nothing that I've ever had, she's going to have a very easy life from the two hours I've spent around her.

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Wow, how the fuck are you teaching economics? I’m guessing at some 90% nigger school.

I don't know why people would have any problems with that because there are no truly laissez-faire economies and nobody really wants one. It's better to think of laissez-faire as a Platonic form where advocates participate in to varying degrees.

that's not what capitalism means to anyone except the most insane of ancaps. the global mode of production is irrefutably capitalistic and anyone who says otherwise is a 100-iq brainlet whose engagement with the subject consists of a high school econ class and paul krugman tweets.

this is a 110 iq post

Nonono. The world is capitalist only to a degree and anyone who disagree with me is a doodoo head.

Who is the statue man?

this is the world where the state forcibly teaches your kids things about sexuality thats against your morality via compulsory school system and i dont want to live in it anymore

I can't read a full page without wanting to kill myself.

Ahura Mazda

Awful dream that the neighbor was going up and down the hallway stairs at night cursing to himself and it turned into beastly grunting, sheer hatred. It only lasted a moment but I was there for a while.

I have an essay due awfully soon, nothing even compares to the stress of having this essay finished. I've written 104 pages and still have another 100 to go.

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People in my social group swear a lot and it's pretty spectacular how it can dumb down language in general. It effectively acts as a general intensifier blocking the use of words that would otherwise be used to describe the intensified object. What's funny is that (in their own words) their sentences feel weightless without the added swear words but what makes their communication truly "weightless" is their inability to properly emphasize and differentiate. It becomes one-note blabbering.

The seasons have such a control over my body and life, to the point that I am beginning to realize that they have a larger effect on my mood than anything I can do of my own volition. The smell of the air and the subtle change of lighting that ushers in the transition from winter to spring energizes me like nothing else. It's like I un-age twenty years every spring. Everything is new and vibrant. It seems like change is possible and anything can happen. In a single moment I can go from utter pessimism to the highest reaches of hope. I feel like a newborn infant when I smell the rain and see the flowers bloom

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why the fuck do you have to write a 200 page essay. what are you writing about?

My struggle

I really don't want to go to work tomorrow. I spent most of spring break coming off a cold and I've felt exhausted the past couple of days. It doesn't help that I'll be spending next weekend helping my only friends in the area move to a city that's three and a half hours away.

The upside is that I'm writing more. I sent a friend a rough draft of the first 50 pages of my novel and I'm excited to hear his feedback. In the mean time I am working on a comfy fantasy story about a young wizard and his monster girl gf road tripping in an airship. It's total wish fulfillment on my part, but at lest I'm back up to writing a page a day again.

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winter is depressing as fuck, I feel you man

With all the shit-flinging and whataboutism that I haven't been able to escape from recently, the attention-whores shoehorning every single headline into every conceivable ideology, incessantly infecting every conversation I hear or sentence I read, this thread has been a refreshing dose of honesty and reflection. Thanks guys.

>put actual effort into something
>still fail
Is this experienced by all successful people? Up to now, success for me always correlated with effort, but now in college, sometimes I put some in and still fail or get a C in return. It's really crushing, but I suppose this happens to everyone, and the winners are those who don't give up.

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I think swearing has its place in sentences. I just got back from watching a movie with my friends (a terrible one) and we were swearing a lot and joking around. Of course we were able to make jokes without the swearing but there were still quite a few, "what the fuck" questions. I don't know if this makes me a hypocrite now. When I made the original post my thought was people saying stuff like, "...and they were good fucking steaks." It, to me, adds nothing to the sentence but a swear. An "adult" word that shows you can swear. What is the point?

I regret downloading tinder

you can just delete apps

gosh what a dummy

Pastor went past his alloted time slot, again. I've spent so many hours of my life psychoanalyzing him. They say that your internal dialogue is just you predicting what others would say, this pastor must be half of my dialogue. I was born in his basement and he had been a primary influence in three generations of my family now. I've heard his life story dozens of times. How he has raped as a child, failed at college, and was lifted up into heaven from the seminary library.

He's old and gray now, and can't walk without assistance. No one is lined up to replace him. He never thought he would die before the end of the world. One time I felt sorry for him, now...

I don't let him live rent free in my head any longer. It's healthier that way. There is a point where you can't recover from your wounds. He's far past that point. His estranged sons try to reach out to him into their own way, but he doesn't understand what they are trying to do. The whole situation is sad, but I'm beyond the reaches of sympathy at this point

I think I might be asexual. I didn't previously realize the extent of my difference in this domain, and a thread on fetishes had me conversing with some kind anons who told me I might have a dysfunction or condition in that area. I'm trying to look into it now, but it's difficult because it seems full of teenage tumblr snowflakes who essentially humblebrag to the world about their unique sexual orientation and how different they are to everyone else, that I'm not sure how "real" it even is. Can anyone knowledgeable help me here? Is asexuality real, or do I just have a temporary libido dysfunction? Temporary as in I'm 23yo and have never had sex and also find it repulsive, even to think of. No desire to do it at all. I only want a platonic relationship with a nurturing girl who'll smother me in motherly love every day and night of my life. Are there any reputable scientific papers or resources on the subject? Where can I learn more about what my "condition" might be?

one of my best friends is asexual, she wants love and relationships but has no interest in sex and plans on adopting. nothing wrong with you user, some people just prefer to not be intimate in that way but there are plenty of other forms of intimacy. i wish i had articles to give you but i don't. good luck user

You are repressing yourself. Unlock your true nature by the power of Dionysus

Yo. I was in the same boat as you not that long ago. It's real. Try some extensive testing if you're unsure though. I used dating apps to test myself but dating apps are shit, I would urge you to try something else. Also don't mind the other retards who identify as asexual. I just keep that shit to myself.

Wow, you're so kind user. Thank you so much for the warmth. Can you tell me any more about your friend? When did she "know", or come to feel, that she was asexual? "How" did she know it? Is there some kind of test? And do you not think there's something "dysfunctional" about us, like how a pedophile is dysfunctional? Or are we okay, and don't need treatment? Because I find it very weird to think some people might just be "nonsexual" given that it's a completely standard reality for our whole species (and every other one). It feels as if it couldn't be natural, and must be an error. Not that I care, I'm not trying to save face with a current romantic partner or anything like that. I can openly accept this. But I just want to better understand myself.

I want to FUCK an Aries.

asexuality is a meme and coping mechanism.

It's more likely "asexuals" are immature mentally and don't want to face the gross and adult world.

This.
t. asexual and thinks vaginas are icky
what if I get a disease? Gross.

What could you possibly be basing that conclusion on?

So do you think you are one, now? What's your personal story?

Here are some videos I'm watching atm:
m.youtube.com/watch?v=1tmF2x1yf3Q
m.youtube.com/watch?v=i14YMpKS_CY

See the people, and read the comments. It feels like they're generally trying to project themselves as some kind of superior, intellectual subpopulation within the larger species, like a Spock-class among the rest of the Kirk-demographic. Not even a Star Trek fan. Just analogies. And yeah, it's really corny. It makes it harder to know whether there's a reality behind this, or if Tumblr users just have too much time on their hands and too much need to differentiate themselves from societal norms. I'm looking elsewhere for proper resources.

What relation does this have to me, who literally finds penetration repulsive at worst, and completely unappealing/indifferent to at best? What am I "coping" with?

i don't drink alcohol either, funnily. dionysis is a cool guy though

You don't drink for the same reason you don't love. Embrace the Animal

>no self awareness
Read what I wrote, read your post again.

My personal story? lmao. It's not that big a deal. I just eventually noticed that I felt no desire to have sex. Like you I started doubting that notion so tested it out. I set up maybe around 7 dates across various dating apps and when it came down to it, I just really didn't want to. And I still don't want to. That's the whole story. Anyway, things are going to suck for you though. Not many people are asexual and most sexual people don't want a romantic partner they can't fuck. If I were you I would try to find satisfaction in friendships. That's what I've ben doing anyway.

You aren't being specific. What does "not facing the gross and adult world" mean, if clearly everyone else has no problem with it and even wants to dive into those things? Are you saying I need to get over my disgust, somehow, and also just activate a libido within myself?

But do you now think you are "asexual", and will therefore never develop an interest in sex, or are merely "low libido" and might later change? How do you know which one? Have you had sex before?

Gonna down a bottle of robo gel caps and chop off my fucking cock.

>But do you now think you are "asexual"
sure. i dont really fuck with labels like that though
>and will therefore never develop an interest in sex, or are merely "low libido" and might later change?
and this is why I don't fuck with labels like that. What does it matter? Regardless, I don't want to have sex now. If it so happens that I really am just super low libido for now and I'll want to have sex in the future, then I'll have sex then.
>Have you had sex before?
No because I'm not interested. I had opportunities though.

at least you have a degree faggot

Well, I just want to have a better more definitive understanding of myself. If things like asexuality were real I'd like to know if I fell into that camp, if it's merely a phase of low libido I'd similarly like to know this sooner rather than later. I get what you mean regarding "labels", but it's not about pigeonholing oneself to a club or an identity, a bit more than that, it's about understanding what one's nature is.

Yeah.
You sound exactly like how I imagined. It's always the same situation with "asexuals"
Your mind has deluded itself into a position and it now has to justify it. Some part of your development has gone askew.

Ask yourself, why you didn't have sex when you had the opportunity?
Was it because you thought you weren't ready? Or not worthy?
Somewhere along the lines you picked up the notion that sex=gross and that relationships should always be pg affairs.

Ask yourself, why then are you bothered or even concerned that you might be "asexual" and you'll find the root of your problem.

First user. If I could do that, I might have already. I'm not sure if it's possible, but we'll see. It doesn't explain the aversion existing in the first place.

>Your mind has deluded itself into a position and it now has to justify it.
How and why as it deluded itself?
>Some part of your development has gone askew.
you're being vague again

>Ask yourself, why you didn't have sex when you had the opportunity?
I didn't want to. Assuming you're straight, why didn't you have sex with men? Gay men are pretty easy.
>Was it because you thought you weren't ready? Or not worthy?
No, it was because I didn't want to.
>Somewhere along the lines you picked up the notion that sex=gross and that relationships should always be pg affairs.
I don't think sex is gross. I think sex isn't for me. There's a difference.
>Ask yourself, why then are you bothered or even concerned that you might be "asexual" and you'll find the root of your problem.
I don't find it to be a problem at all. I'm having a good go at it.

I'm thinking about going out and either sitting on a bench for an hour or two or actually sleeping on it, not sure why.

I do have a question though, do audiobooks actually work in the same way reading does?

I'm naked.

Only paedophiles have sex with women.
>sex with woman = child
>desire of sex with woman = desire of child
>desire of sex becomes desire of child
>sex = child
>paedophilia
Therefore sex is something only paedophiles do unless it's gay and gay paedophiles don't exist because it's less to do with the child's gender and more about the power difference.

you're a genius. unironically write a book.

audio books are nice.
only place i read is on the can.
i don't want to read the book cause i will damage it.
I need more sets of ears and eyes.

I'm feeling better than I have in years. I run ~30km a week and have finally got my BMI to an acceptable level (82kg, 5'11). I got a new STEM job recently which is pretty cushy. My free time I spend working on personal projects or with my girlfriend who I love. Life is pretty nice desu

condoms were a mistake

*raises butt into the air and swings it seductively*
:3

Not once while alive have i ever liked being so. If the world is ending it does not scare me on an indivdual level. But i do grieve for my familly and friends who are much better people than me.
My regrets are that a woman has never loved me. And how great would that be to be loved while the ice caps are melting and resources are depleting.

>i ever liked being so
Alright.
>y regrets are that a woman
Not alright.
>And how great would that be to be loved while the ice caps
FUCKING HELL study geography ice caps aren't NORMAL we're literally in an ice age right now and earth's natural state isn't frozen

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How do I make people gay for me?

>I think I might be asexual
This is not something that actually exists. You can just choose not to have sex, you don't to diagnose yourself.

Wey, I want to tell you.
I met this amazing girl and for the first time in my life I am not exaggerating. We had the best date in Delhi. I’m true, everything was amazing. We talk a shit, she's super smart. About life and blah blah. Every moment was like putting a brick in a thing that seemed like a dream. It felt so right. We talked about getting married "as a joke" but we both knew it wasn’t a joke. We fall in love. She's the morrita who canceled her date to see me instead, because duh, we both knew how it was going to be. Wey, you don’t have an idea. It was the first time in my life that I remember every second of what happened in the day. I could tell you in detail how we started talking, when a beautiful transvestite asked us for money during a red light. I remember everything we talked about perfectly. She's from London. Their parents are from Punjab and their religion is Sikh. For it is quite important for her to marry someone of her religion or at least with someone who is willing to understand. She told me and you know me, learning enchanted. She read my astral letter and no mames it was like reading everything we had been talking about, amazing. Wey, I know I want to be with her. The next day I returned to Guwahati and she traveled by train to Punjab.
She didn’t answer my messages, I panicked but because of her’s IG stories I understood that she was there with some sikh boy, surely the one she drew away to see me. (They are these people who wear turbans) and obviously she don’t want to mix things, I don’t know, I understand that she don’t want to think about me being there with him. But I'm sure she feels the same, I mean, it was dreamlike. I’m in a cloud but also I know it can’t be you know? I feel really weird. She is beautiful.

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I woke up with a sore threat, a slight headache, and a good dose of existential dread.
I've been feeling the dread for the last days. Today it was so bad I continued napping as it felt more rewarding, comfier than actually getting up and doing things. I hate this feeling.