ITT: We come up with imaginary Bible verses. The winner gets to go to heaven. I'll start

We're not asserting it as Holy

SOLITUDE IS THE APPARENT MARK OF THE NOBLE ONE.

THE NOBLE ONE'S SOLITUDE IS A DOUBLE ONE: SOLITUDE FROM BEING IN SEPARATION FROM GOD, FALLEN FROM PLEROMA, AND SOLITUDE FROM BEING ALIEN AMONGST IGNOBLE MANY.

— Gospel of Rei, §229

Based and Rei(d)pilled

Attached: Rei.jpg (1024x768, 80K)

And the priest shall cut off the goat's testicles and burn them on the altar as an offering of seed to the LORD, of a pleasing odour to the LORD.

Icycalm is better

Look not to others, but to thine own selves for release. For only by such means canst thou please the Lord who watches hidden from on high

Bump

Jesus said, "I shall choose you, one out of a thousand, and two out of ten thousand, and they shall stand as a single one."

bump

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law, love is the law, love under will

yours is really really good OP, undefeated in your thread so far

>dividing by two thirds
>actually making them more
t. numerically challenged user

The Lord leaves you with more than you started with user.

But then bushels are given in fractions. God doesn't want this.I need to stop being so anal. God is simply being mysterious.

[Adeloph Condemns the Isrealites to Death]

1 Now in those days many of the tribe of Judah went out of the land and dwelt among a foreign people in the land of Ger. 2 And the people of this land resented them, for they did not worship their gods and live according to their customs but clung to the LORD and the righteousness of their fathers 3 And Adeloph the king of that land resented them, for he was jealous of their golden ornaments and fine scented wine, and of their beautiful woman.

4 And so it came to pass that Adeloph ordered a great fire to be prepared in the center of this land and that the Judeans still living in that land be cast into it; 5 Lo! A thousand times a thousand times a thousand number the men thrown into the fire that season.

2 Histories,3: 1-5

Attached: Ancient Truth.jpg (284x177, 11K)

Thou shalt not ask who Cain married.

Praise Kek

This one is underrated.

And in that moment Moses was euphoric. Not because of some phony god's existence but because he had smoked the holy herb.

baseeeeed

Holy....
BASED!!!!

>beautiful woman

could tell by the word beautiful

Aww thanks

haha suck my ding dong
- jesus

They desired to escape their shame before the sight of the LORD, the Holy one of Israel. Behold, if you love my commandments, what shall remain needful? Gather your grains in the proper season, as befitting all righteousness.

op is the only good one baka

After the baskets were gathered up and counted, Jesus took the seven parts and distributed them among the disciples, saying

"Take this portion, each of you, and carry it with you. For though today, the Son of Man is with you, and the people are filled, they will soon grow hungry in my absence. They will curse my Father in Heaven and do wicked things in their impatience. But you are not to participate in the violence that will overtake the House of David. You will remember the day when your hands carried this bread, and will have peace in their midst, for you shall know what food may be sought from my Kingdom."

Nah

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Okay here's my try faking glosses and a chiastic structure.

And Jacob smote Malkam, his name was Nabu
And he who was Jacob's son knocked the temple down, the temple of Moloch
And the stones of the temple, the temple of Moloch, was scattered, to the farthest of places
And he, who was Nabu, was buried in a pit, in the ruins where the temple was

Classic

Good thread.

These are plausible, with some editing.
And this was worthy of my hearty kek.
This should be Yea Forums's next collaborative project: a lost book of the Holy Scripture. Maybe two: an OT prophet book and a lost gospel. It might be called the book of Batrachos.

I would be 200% down for this idea

A Psalm
Blessed are the servants of the Lord,
For his steadfast love endures forever.
Let not your spirit depart for me, O Lord,
Do not abandon me to the dark of night.
Your words are a comfort amongst my enemies,
Your commandents, O God, like a cool drink to a parched tongue.

The Prophet Elimelech
These are the words of the prophet Elimelech, in the days of King Abshophet, "Thus says the Lord above, the Lord of hosts, 'My people have forgotten me, forsaking the God of their fathers and making sacrifices to idols of wood and stone. They have filled the high places with their wickedness and they have forgotten my ways. No longer shall they be my people in the land that I have given to them. I shall raise up their enemies, over whom I gave the sons of Abraham and Isaac victory, and gather them in the foothills of Judah, ready to lay waste the people of Israel.'" And the people were troubled by these words, though they did not heed them. And the words of the Lord were spread throughout the land. And when Abshophet, the king, heard of them and the prophet Elimelech, his face darkened and he sought to kill Elimelech. And Elimelech was filled with fear and he forgot the Lord and fled into the Negev, to a valley in the shadow of a mountain which in those days was known as Har-Baelah. For forty days he hid there and on the last day he rose up and came to Har-Baelah. And there he found an altar to the gods of the Asharites and he prepared an offering, for he had forgotten the Lord in his despair. But as his hand touched the stone, Elimelech was struck down by the Lord. And in the east, the sons of Moab and Edom crossed the Jordan, for the Lord could not find one man among the children of Abraham who remembered him.

The eggs are not for this world or from this world they come from the chicken but the chicken knows it not.

The prophet verses are more entertaining than most of the real ones.

excerpt from a short story:

“The stars store floods—store floods wept from a seasonal era’s encumbering onslaught, store floods that will drive unmeasured through living & unliving matter without friendly wind, floods that gather in the frantic dreams of mystics seeking labyrinthine peace, floods kept from expulsing like beggar-breath into the locked shoestore windows of the world, floods named after every lost mortal love, every lost mortal love with their faces in loves pressed against every natural assumption, their faces of flood lost with passion; names of love given in a geography without stars to store floods: writhing in tide pools of potential light in dark-breath as they’re carried graceful & wonderful through the mall of the galaxy ‘til they confront you like a brilliant chore. This will be the time to end all obliquity, all cleverness cunning, every tiptoe. The monstrous universal parade of oblivion’s trenchmen gathers traction against our source’s easy trade. There can be no rebellion against the bus-stop, there will be no rebellion against that which simply waits,” Feather Mauve spoke.
Caul touched his hair, stood, then said something toward him. “We of no wear must make sport of disaster’s clutch, ruddering its impulse as we can. Dangerous moves usher the real jazz in.”
“The chemistry of noise is that it incites reaction; incites again reaction. This mirror of fractals into human sublimation & sublimation over must be met by the purity of a strong fracture, the fracture that leads you to the completion of the soul capable of eternity’s enchanting. Directing spoils as it leads to itself more of the same with its leading elsewhere, in other words. Where—everything permitted—would you like to be?” Feather Mauve spoke.
Caul looking through his rectangle spectacles breathed what words he had in response; “I’d love it in a riverboat, a bus. Somewhere far east, in motion; guided.”
“You will in your time,” he spoke.

we've found ourselves in a jagged, mirthless realm of unchecked blame & force. a violent dark age without the usual side-dish of mercy's reward. listen: youtube.com/watch?v=12rUOLtbQDk&fbclid=IwAR26sbo3kbOuo1SAOukJb1lL2dEh9YvjO7UdjGX8Dg5PTj1iC4Rsr92RhEQ

God speaks clearly only when he (she?) shuts up. -Scaruffi, Piero

Book of Ages[24.33]: in the aspirant sands we find your rainfall’s dull angelic noise

What in the name of the Lord...

And Shadrach said, 'LORD grant me land near the river so that I may drink as Moses drank every morning in worship of you,' and the LORD lead Shadrach to three days outside of Babylon.

Nicely done, lots of formulae present like etymological stories, heterodox worship being decpared idolotary, and lots of stock phrases, with a wink at the end.

Realming source makes pool for graced & ungraced; eventuality in everything as your shoulders turn: let it lead. Dealt in grey-scales the street-crossed lovers dream under allowance, under splintering raintap. Rumor moves; you as well.

[Dealt in lifted letters we must learn to mute.]

Anyone notice how Americans think the worst that can happen to you is that you get arrested; you run out of money, or you get murdered? As if humanity is a given. As if their place in the world is justified simply by their organs as they persevere. They don't seem to understand how tenuous their mortality is; but on the other hand why bother thinking about such a thing? The majority will keep skeptical attitudes about an organized creator but go on to say that every aspect of life must be organized, every thought clear, every reaction just to its inspiration. I'm not suggesting that my solipsistic chaos-world be imposed on the face of my surroundings but this whole "we behave properly, we are civilized beings" seems farcical in such an extreme culture. the response here will be "oh, but notice the degeneracy, the 420thots!" That's a movement with understood traction.

t. American Sicko

Verily I say unto thee, to lie with a trap is sodomy in the eyes of our father. There can be no chick where there is also a dick.

See I'd hope mine is plausible seeing it's a direct quotation from the Gospel of Thomas

But I am

Very good work

Verily, verily, I say unto you, he who lusts after a man who dresseth as a woman, there shall be no peace for him in this life, nor in the next, for it is an abomination in the eyes of my Father.

bump

"Shall the gay say to him that fappeth it, what makest thou?"

And anons of all nations cried out "save our thread!" but The Lord whispered "sage."

God job user