Can I get the tl;dr of eastern philosophy?

So you are filthy and out of shape with an over blown ego?

I'm tooooo old

Nobody else is asking for an explanation, so why are you?

Confucianism is a legalistic and strategic philosophy for self-improvement within a social hierarchy. There's a lot of stories of various ancient Chinese politicians and how they fucked up.

yeah, this pretty much covers it all. great work

Not OP but anybody got any recs on buddhist literature, I've been into buddhism peripherally for quite a few years but I want to get into it more seriously. I already have The Mind Illuminated which I'm working my way through. I was reading some stuff about dzogchen and lojong the other day that was very interesting, boddhisatva/boddicitta. Are there any scriptures that are essential? Opinions on the best school of Buddhism?

I personally enjoy Zen and Pure Land the most. The Platform Sutra of Hui Neng is as good a start as any, I would imagine.
Masao Abe wrote two books of comparative philosophy between Japanese Zen and Western Thinkers which also could also help as they analyze Zen concepts in western terminology.

Meditation Techniques of the Buddhist and Taoist Masters by Daniel Odier

It's no longer in print, but it's a useful introduction to many different (now lost / rarely seen) approaches to meditation. It's a very blissful read.

reddit tier post

The West admires the man who pushes his way to the top in any walk of life. The East admires the man who abandons his ego.

tantrism: putting dick in shit, same as putting dick in woman

Aldous Huxley's The Perennial Philosophy is a good place to start for a westerner

The Tibetan book of living and dying

Agehananda Bharati
Nanavira Thera
Marco Pallis

Blade of grass
Coitus for cum
Me no real