You're watching Adventure Call. My name is Falconhoof. I will be your guide on your quest. Greetings line 5...

grope the statue, looking for buttons.

Examine the statue more closely

Alright traveler. You go into the maze. To the west is a long pathway. To the east is a wall. To the north is another pathway. Which way would you like to go?

Traveler. Groping the statue would be unnecessary. There are no buttons.

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Aye traveler. You look more closely at the statue. You're head stops at his feet.

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Go south

you into they eccies pills son?

But traveler. If you go south you'll leave the maze.

Traveler. I don't know what those pills are. We have magic potions.

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suck the statues dick

Aye a know, just do it ya bawbag.

But Traveler. It is a statue. It's...dick is stone and...won't get hard

Aye traveler...you go out of the maze and found yourself back in the marble hallway with the statue of Hermes. What would you like to do?

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SUCK THE STATUES DICK

Aye...traveler. You..suck the statue of Hermes'...dick...nothing happens.

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gurgle on it until i choke to death

But traveler...you can do something else. Maybe examine another body part of the statue or go into the maze to the left?

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>had been watching this on netflix
>friends come around
>start shitting all over it and me for liking it
>say it's not remotely funny and make me turn it off
God I fucking hate my friends.

Strip naked and run into the maze yelling

Traveler. Maybe you should get new friends.

But traveler. You never know what may lie in the maze. Are you sure you want to strip named and blindly run into it?

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DO IT

Meet Jester

Rape* Jester

in what fucking faggot timeline is this considered entertainment?

Okay Traveler. You...strip naked...and blindly run into the maze. To the west is a long path. To the east is a wall. To the north is another path. Which way would you like to go?

Aye Traveler. Look it's our friend Jester!
Hello Lads!

We can't...Jester is our friend.

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Rape Jester

Punch wall

RAPE JESTER

Rape and kill jester

Kill Jester

My character is already naked. Falconhoof, it's my money and my game...

But...But Jester is our friend...we can't...

Aye Traveler...you punch the wall. Your hand breaks.

Aye...traveler. what would you like to do now?

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I've got Kirstin McLean lewds if anyone is interested

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Rape Jester

beat Jester bloody with our cock, then Rape Jester.

deedee is literally me in all facets

Rape and kill Jester. DO it.

Come on lads! I'M here to help! On your quest you will seen a great adventure unroll before thee!

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No, rape jester!

......

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Aye...I...raped her....and killed her. Jester's dead. Game Over.

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Well wurf it m8, well wurf it

Well worth it mate, well worth it. Now rape jester

.....

But traveler...she's dead. The game is over. Let's take another caller.

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Hello there. Do you sell magic mushrooms?

RAPE JESTER

Hello Traveler. We don't sell magic mushrooms, but we can go on a magical adventure! I'm Falconhoof. I will be your guide!

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Your game is over travler.

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Please share them traveler

Go left

Rape Falconhoof

put a finger up my bum, just for laughs haha i/,, m not gay

Aye Traveler. You turn left and find yourself in a magic full of tiny elves! They seem friendly. What would you like to do?

YOUR GAME IS OVER.

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Rape elves

I don't see the point of thatn traveler.

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Go left.

But...traveler. There's a while village of them and they're friendly. They seem to bear gifts. I don't see the point...

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You go left and find yourself infront of a giant spider's web. What would you like to do?

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It's mah game and mah money. RAPE ELVES. THE WHOLE VILLAGE.

Go left.

Cut through web with sword.

Aye...traveler. You...you rape the small elves...the whole village. You end up killing them from your size....what would you like to do now?

Aye traveler. You go left and find yourself at a dead end. What would you like to do?

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Go left.

Rape dead end

Stuff elf carcasses in my anus. No backtalk Falconhoof. DO IT

A man of taste

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Gee me a hint, poofer

These threads are no good unless they're dubs adventure quest threads. You can't just earn a story without getting dubs

Aye traveler. You try to cut the web with your swordn but it gets entangled and stuck in the sticky web.

Therexs more than one direction you can go travler.

You can't...rape a dead end travler....

But..there's no point in that traveler...

There's a statue with a spear in its hand traveler...maybe...take the spear for future travels?

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Shove spear up ass

Use sword to chop off dick and stick it up my own ass.

get back to work limmy

Well our time has come to an end. We'll have more adventures another day....farewell travelers!

Night niggas!

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Best adventurequest thread in ages.

Amazing threadm proud of u OP

best thread on this shithole in weeks

Good thread OP. Glad Yea Forums isn't completely dead

finna kill the master of the maze and steal his baldric

Go left