It's 11 PM and I'm sitting in my car about to shit my pants

It's 11 PM and I'm sitting in my car about to shit my pants

AMA

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based EST poster

>Open door
>shit outside
>????

pants shitting seems based

how did u find urself in this predicament user?

how did you get to this point

I'm probably wondering how you got in this situation

What kind of pants

Pics?

>have to shit real bad one day
>pull into a mcdonalds
>buy some french-fries so that I can use the restroom as a proper paying customer
>know this mcdonalds has as one person locked bathroom so picked it on purpose to shit
>see some huge homless nig shuffle from the outside into the bathroom while I'm making my purchase
>oh no
>hold my ass cheeks together as hard as I can with a box of French fries in my hand
>this nigger is ON HIS PHONE in the bathroom
>5 minutes go by and he's still on his phone talking in the fucking bathroom
>concede defeat and run to my car to try and rush home
>shit as soon as I sit down in the seat
>ruined underwear and shorts

thanks for listening

did you eat the fries?

kek. Fucking get over the anxiety of shitting in public restrooms. It's not that bad.

yeah, they were great

will you be my friend and tell me more cool stories?

Why not just street shit? I’ve done it before in times of dire need.

>work at construction site
>20 males to every female
>use the female porta johns every time because they're cleaner

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I read that in Dr Manhattans voice

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>sitting on the couch playing games for hours
>decide I need to get up and stretch
>stand up and raise my arms over my head
>bowels suddenly empty a gallon of sloshy diarrhea into my pants

Should've just used the women's. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Be honest, how much do you weigh?

based

did you hear the soft sound of Philip Glass as well?

>working at this plaza
>see man in cargo shorts walking towards entrance
>he gets close to the curb of the entrance
>stops moving
>my co-worker tells me "is that guy shitting himself?"
>look
>there's sloppy orange shit streaming down his pants
>SPLAT SPLAT on the asphalt
>he looks around himself casually
>goes back to his car as if nothing happened with his shorts and legs stained with orange runny shit
>gets something from the back and puts it on his seat
>drives away normally
>my co-worker and I die laughing
>we go to look at the asphalt after
>large spots of shit and it smells terrible
>can't stop laughing for the following 30 mins

Was probably like 170lbs at the time

Not TV or film related. Get lost loser

>live directly across from a synagogue
>friends and I would go there at night to smoke pot and cis
>smoking a bowl
>out of nowhere a fierce bout of mudbutt announces itself, I've never had this happen before or since
>run from my friends to a more secluded area of the parking lot
>unleash
>it's in the rabbi''s reserved space

I know this is Yea Forums but I legit felt bad about it but I'm sure they considered it a hate crime.

it was a single unisex bathroom

>be junior in college
>go to 7/11 for taquitos on way to party
>party is thrown by some female friends of ours
>one of them I was making progress with, we made out previously
>the apt has two bathrooms
>one is not working
>the other is in one of the girls' bedrooms
>I'm in the living room, immediate massive painful urge to shit hits me
>tell my friends I have to go home
>waddle out and down one flight of stairs, clenching
>stop
>realize I'm not going to make it (home is a good walk away)
>I don't think I'll even make it down the stairs
>I'm sweating, I have chills, I have cramps, I can barely walk
>only option is to go back
>I force myself to turn back and head back inside
>I clench-walk my way back through the party and into the girl's bedroom
>"user we thought you left!"
>say nothing
>collapse onto the toilet
>let out a massive diarrhea explosion
>it's literally connected to her bedroom by a flimsy door, while a bunch of them (and her) sit in there playing some card game
>I blow my ass out for a few good minutes
>I wait longer to see if people will live
>it stinks like death
>they are still playing games in the room
>realize there is no escape and accept my fate
>walk out and through them, no eye contact not a word, and head home
>never talked to any of them again
>my friends still make fun of me

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Absolutely

I went into a women's bathroom once. It smelled like my home bathroom after my mother throws away her tampons. Never again.

*will leave

>be 9
>sitting in third grade classroom listening to the teacher teach
>suddenly, a rumbling in my bowels equivalent to the earthquake in Haiti
>try to hold it in but cannot
>stand up, flip my desk over and run like a madman to the bathroom
>run into the handicap stall for mega-shitting purposes
>pants down, sit on toilet, grab the retard bar, prepare for nuclear holocaust
>at first, the initial diarrhead sprayed out of my asshole like that mist machine they have at amusement parks in the water park area
>soon, however, the mist changed to a more liquidy form equivalent to YooHoo
>this continued for about 15 seconds then the beast decided to rear its ugly head
>I could feel the massive turd begin to slowly eject itself from my sphincter with the ferocity of a caged animal
>at this point I was already sweating profusely and cursing to the point I was making up words never come across in a dictionary before
>finally, the behemoth had exited my body after a great struggle
>I stood up and gazed into the depths of hell that was once a toilet
>it appeared that I had unleashed Revelations upon the porcelain bowl and the inside of the toilet was actually emanating a greenish glow
>I gradded a handful of toilet paper and prepared to clean up the toxic waste dump that was my asscrack
>wipe
>nothing on toilet paper

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I used to clean toilets at various places. The female bathrooms were always the worst. Fucking disgusting. Women are animals.

fuck that must've been great

>shit thread on Yea Forums
>270 replies and 113 images omitted, click reply to view

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>oy vey god has blessed me with free shit for no charge!
He was probably grateful

How much does Hiro pay you again, Janny Tranny Annie?

post photo of said shit, mods are in bed for church tomorrow morning so post anything atm.

Very nice usage of adjectives user

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holy based

not based my friend, not based

it was rough

I've shit naked every day of my life except one time at a public restroom where the turd grazed the tail of my shirt. It has a brown stain there now but I still wear it

>It has a brown stain there now but I still wear it
Based economical poster

>It's 11 PM and I'm sitting in my car about to shit my pants

White men...just when you thought they can't get any fucking weirder...you click on Yea Forums and there you go. Caucasian whitetoids at it again

that lack of pussy really makes them go crazyyyy

the first time I shit my pants was in like 3rd grade

>literally be me
>time for teacher to read us a book in a big circle
>sitting across from the girl I had a crush on staring at her the whole time
>have to sneeze in quiet room full of kids while teacher is reading
>try to hold it in but fail
>sneeze, fart, and shit my pants
>everyone laughs including the teacher
>everyone smells shit but I don't tell anyone I shit my pants
>call mom from principals office after class to pick me up

Sounds like something me and my mates would do as a prank. I don’t flush.

Should have fucked that nig up

You ever have those huge 10 minute struggles shitting and you look down and nothing’s there? Wtf

eat more fiber

suddenly i don't feel so bad about always leaving a few drops when i pee