>Sir, the suspect doesn't seem to ever go to the bathroom.
>Am I thinking what you are thinking?
Sir, the suspect doesn't seem to ever go to the bathroom
Luke Martinez
Bentley King
>pissjugs
>lots and lots of pissjugs
Adam Lewis
>Are you telling me that he shits entirely through text?
>Yes sir. We're dealing with a shitposter
>My God!
Luis Stewart
>tfw when the past midnight crew is on Yea Forums when all the wagies are sleeping
best time
Carson Reed
he's a robot?
Tyler Bailey
>Sir, we've confiscated his laptop. Intel is still putting the pieces together. The only thing we've been able to decrypt so far is a folder named "footkino". It's 12 gigs worth of images, mostly taylor swift and sofia boutella. I'm not sure what to make of this, chief.
Jack Peterson
>we got the blueprints of the dorm the subject resides in
>It appears his room has a sink...
>Don't be stupid Johnson, why would a human beeing stoop to that level? The bathroom is only a few meters down the halway!
Parker Cruz
>Chief, we found a folder named "Pretty in Plastic" on his PC.
>It's full of pictures of horribly mutilated women .
Leo Robinson
thanks OP, i'd forgotten to clear out my pissbottle drawer
Caleb Jenkins
is that a thing now? i've ever only known one person who did that. he was sleeping on a bunk bed and was pretty lazy.
Kevin Kelly
>Sir, I see bottles with yellow liquid, is he making mustard gas?
Easton Long
>now
people just moved from chamber pots to bottles and jugs
Kayden Allen
but aren't they supposed to be emptied now and then? i only got to know about said guy's piss bottles because he didn't even dispose them after he moved out but just left them for the new occupant of the room, together with other disgusting shit like used condoms
Jason Morales
ew. just screw the cap back on and toss the pissbottle in the trash. if you drink lots of bottled water theres an endless supply of empty ones so theres no need to reuse them
Alexander Clark
>I'm gonna need a complete contact list of all his friends, girlfriends, acquaintances. The whole shebang.
>It's been done already, sir. *hands him paper*
>...Johnson it only has his mother on here.
Ayden Scott
>This bastard's got a colostomy bag
Andrew Miller
>and... a lot of his mom's nudes, sir
Landon Adams
>Nudes of his mother? Johnson, get down!
>My name is Jenkins sir
>I wasn't talking to you
Robert Smith
>Sir, I used an encryption code to unlock the backdoor of his IP address
>Well, out with it specs!
>Uh, um well unfortunately he has a VPN.
>Damn *slams table* the slippery bastard got away again *looks out window from office* just who are you and what game are you playing
Parker Sanchez
>But lieutenant. I am pagliacci
Jaxson Mitchell
>Johnson! Why hasn't the subject flushed today? Everybody has to pee in the morning!
>Sir we just got a sample back from the sink drain. You're not gonna believe this...
>Dear Jesus... How is this possible? The toilet is CLOSER to his room than the sink!
Wyatt Kelly
>Analysis indicates he's not using bottles either.
>CODE RED I REPEAT CODE RED
Luis Phillips
i'm a wagie but i'm still up
#damaged
Jeremiah Carter
>Sir, may I ask what is he a suspect in?
>He doesnt seem to posses a tv licence.
Jonathan Phillips
>now
Nicholas Baker
>Sir, we bugged his phone
>great work Johnson, get me a list of all his texts from the last 6 months
>Sir, you are not going to believe this, he has no texts.
>Damn, must be using some sort of anti bug software, this guy is the real deal.
Joseph Edwards
>Sir, we've spotted the suspect going to the local pizza parlor.
>Did he make contact with anyone there?
>No sir. He just stood anxiously outside for a few minutes and then left when he noticed the crowd of young people inside.
>Dammit, something must have tipped him off.
Andrew Ramirez
>Diapers...
>dozens of used diapers