How did Hank end up with Peggy when he was a Texas Football Legend?

How did Hank end up with Peggy when he was a Texas Football Legend?

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He has a fetish for man feet

He should know. It's in the sport. Why do you think John Madden made a fortune on athlete's foot medicine?

He had autism.

>tfw you will never be high school Boomhauer

>peggy wasn't even a virgin

boomhauer seems to be the only regular in the show who isn't a cuck

besides buck and cotton

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Hank's attraction to Peggy is probably the biggest mystery of that show. I never once really asked myself what Boomhauer's job was until the last episode where they show it, but I was constantly wondering that

Does John Redcorn fall into cuck status?

yes. he gets his entire legacy cucked

Somehow yes. Without really trying or even being aware of it, Dale completely turned that situation on it's head

The Thanksgiving episode is legitimately hard to watch.

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he was the mighty bull who slowly got turned into a giant cuck pussy

which is weird he'd still be super into nancy after shes like 40 and started balding

when he broke down in tears in front of hank was a big yikes

Hank is one of those dudes who peaks in high school and seems like he's destined for lifelong greatness then has a mediocre adulthood. He settled for Peggy, basically. If his athleticism had been at a college/pro level his life would have been completely different, but his adulthood was an education in how his high school experience was about being a big fish in a small pond.

Hank wanted a strong, motherly woman to give him a big, strong son(s) and raise him good. The mystery is how those 2 big, strong, athletic freaks produced Bobby. Them xenoesteogens be hittin in modern day Arlen.

>be fat ass fat ass
>get cucked so hard you go bald and eat ice cream all day
>is actually a savant genius and tough as nails
>when put his mind to it he can do practically anything
>starts lifting again
>no bill this is wrong.

judge says that bobby turns into 6"4 in high school

he prototyped them on what their life would be like and bobby wasn't with connie anymore

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Bobby is a bit of a faggot but once he gets into high school he's going to lose the baby fat and turn into a total Chad. Even as a fat dork he knew how to talk to girls and charm them plus he already had a practice gf (Connie) so that will help cut down on the spaghetti.

Peggy had gigantic milkers and she probably got pregnant

No

>Muh legacy

His bloodline will go on while Dale's will die

hank's the type of guy to not fix what's not broken

and peggy is built like a classic ford

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He led his team to State. That's the Texas Football championship game. Texas.Football

what did boomhauer do anyways? wasnt his whole thing that he talks too fast and that's it?

Redcorn's bloodline will end in retard babies when Joseph and his half-sister that Redcorn had with another woman get together.

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Boomhauer was mostly for comic relief but in the last episode it's revealed he is a Texas Ranger. I wish that was something they expanded on in a few episodes. If you're referring to high school he was the QB.

i do like the theory that hes playing sonny crocket and spying on dale

>tfw I never peaked
fuck man

at least Hank slid down his peak, Bill on the other hand went head first

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>this is the chinese symbol for tree (plant)

HOLY SHIT DEEPEST LORE

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>/r/
>Thanks For Nothing
I fucking died.

Bill had a hard life, but I liked the episodes where something good happened to him like banging a couple hot women at his family's mansion in Louisiana or pissing off Khan by dating his mom.

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Hank practically worshiped Buck for giving him a bottom of the barrel sales gig. Either you have the killer instinct or you don't, no matter how good at sports you might be.

No, Boomhauer is a notorious slayer in the show. Basically the Quagmire of KOTH

The job Buck gave him was a step up from selling jeans at a department store and Hank worked his way into a position that pays pretty well. If you're a good salesman you can make a good living on commission, regardless of the product you're selling, and Buck would probably leave the business to Hank after he retired/died.

well he was ugly so he did ok by getting Peggy

She's ugly, retarded, and insufferable, though.

She seems like a nice, simple woman, and all her shitty traits are not immediately obvious. He didn't find out until later that she wasn't a virgin and couldn't cook when he married her, for example. Also while this varied and I don't think this was the original intention she was sometimes drawn having nice tits.

It's actually pretty weird, because Hanks a leader, but apparently not enough of one to start his own business.

His ankle snapped.

>and Buck would probably leave the business to Hank after he retired/died.
With how Buck behaved during the course of the series I have doubts he would make a gesture like that.

It's from how cruel Cotton was. Any fatherly figure that showed a little kindness to Hank would gain his undying loyalty. Buck constantly ratfucked Hank but because he gave him a job and occasional words of encouragement Hank never complained.

Well I meant before he even met Buck.
But then again, Hank enjoys being a cog, so I guess it makes sense he'd just get whatever job he could and do it the best he could.

As much as we deservedly rag on Peggy's inflated ego, Hank has been known to exaggerate things that he personally has a tie to. He called his State game the most important game in Texas history (the one he lost because his ankle broke.) He thinks propane is "God's gas." And he even sees Peggy as some kind of A++ prize that Dale is lying about when he said he doesn't find her attractive.

To his credit, I don't remember him ever saying he could go pro if not for his damn knee, which is something all kinds of ex-high school jock meatheads say well into their twilight years.

Anyway, we saw why: because Hank was an awkward goody two shoes even in high school and Peggy basically wore the pants in the relationship. His marriage proposal was "Gee, I sure am not unfond of you Peggy." Hell, he was practically a beta and Peggy sunk her hooks in. After his football career died, they got married out of high school as their old fashioned ways dictate and he got a job at Jeans West.

>legend
>broke his ankle before he could score the winning touchdown

Who would he have left it to?

Donna

He had low self-esteem.

Unironically Bill has the most optimism in the show, he just can't let go of the past. If his friends had one ounce of respect for him, he probably could've done something more with his life.

Haha this is great. Glad someone took the time to make this but is Yea Forums supposed to be toxic or what? I don't get it

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>Being this new

I think its because this place is cancer

How new are you?

I still don't get itOK thanks?

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not sure if bait or actual retard who would be better off drinking lighter flluid

>If I pulled it off would you die
>Describes way in which it would be extremely painful

My sides

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>she died in 2014

holy shit

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i remember this episode
why did he stop lifting? i remember it was because of diabetes or something

I think he got a hernia or something?

Bill started exercising because of the beetus. He got stuck on the leg press machine when it fucked him up and his meathead friends refused to help him out. Ended up ruining his knees.

He pushed himself too hard and got hurt so he stopped doing it like many other people that get into situations like that.

>Does John Redcorn fall into cuck status?
Dale somehow turned the cucking around by stealing away Redcorn's fatherhood from Joseph. Redcorn also has to sneak around to talk to his wife even when Dale doesn't think much of any of it.

Which is the episode where Bobby gets a job but Hank tells him he shouldn't pursue that career because he's not attractive? Google isn't helping me.

I don't recall them being that big. Weren't Nancy's bigger?

It's the one where some Chad shows Bobby all you have to do is beeee urself XD to succeed but Bobby doesn't realize that only works for Chad, so when he starts a business cleaning up puke and shit and other nasty stuff people treat him like a freak.

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He was very old fashioned and for the most part so was Peggy

His son or wife. Doesn't matter how much Hank deserves it.

He got mono from another girl and she was really sweet while he was sick.

There's an entire episode dedicated to him being a cuck.