Itt: How you almost got him, user?
I whipped my dick out, was about to give it to him...
Almost threw a rock on him...
I sucked his dick.
Same
I drew a cock.
It was a big cock
I told him unless he gave up being Batman, Chuck Austen was going to write him and Erika Henderson was going to draw him.
Threatened to kill his family...
I didn't, I just commit crimes at day like a non-retard
Almost ran him over, as he was saving a random Japanese kid.
You two are so unoriginal.
>I threw a cock at him!...It was a big cock...
Ftfy
Is that manga any good?
Hes straight so nothing happened.
See I learned that Batman doesn't kill, so I threatened to kill myself and make it look like he killed me. But my gun jammed and he knocked me out
I directed Batman and Robin.
I told him to save Martha.
I pressured him into raping the Joker.
I used my mechanical army.
I'd heard through the grapevine how effective one robot dressed like a captain clown was against Batman. So, I used my connections to acquire a squad of them. Everything was perfect, I'd lured him to an abandoned warehouse, distracted him with some nonsense monologue about non-specific revenge for perceived slights, the whole nine you see.
Now, the robots were supposed to come on out, beat up the Bat and knock him out. I had a mob surgeon ready to amputate some limbs, and I'd sell off the unmasking and rights to kill the Bat to you folks.
Turns out captain clown robots don't like following the chain of command when they're all the same rank. So instead of eight Captain Clowns ready to tango, all I have is one busted up one trying to wear eight hats, and having written 'Admiral' on itself. Anyhow, that's how I almost had him.
So I was robbing a liquor store the other night. Nothing major, just all the money in the register and a forty. And the cash register lady had an amazing rack, see? And I was like "hey baby this forty would go down smoother with a broad like you with me." And she didnt say nothingg but her face was like what the fuck. And im like this bitch needs to be put in her place. But then i remember my parole officer telling me that if i get got again its going to be 10 years so i decide to play it nice and complimented her tits before i left. Now i was chilling at home watching spongebob enjoying that forty i got when sandy took off her water space suit and got her squirrely titties out and that got me thinking about that one girl's titties and i start pulling it praying the j-man aint watching when all the sudden batman breaks through my broken front door and i jump off my couch and i say "what you want fool" and he's like "i know you robbed that liquor store." And i dont remember doing that ao i start to think back and all i see are them titties. It was at this point i realized that i never stopped stroking myself and now thinking about them titties makes me harder than gold so i pick up the pace. Batman starts walking towards me and was like "is that how you get iff, sicko, thinking about the evil deeds you've done?" And shake my head and said "nah man im thinking about martha." Thst was the name of the titty lady at the liquor store, i think. Im pretty sure it said martha somewhere on her tits. Anyway this pisses batman off and hes like "what did you say?" And im thinking like fuck he's mad did batman have a thing for martha? So i say to "aww shit b-man i didnt know you had a thing for her." Keep in mind that i am still jacking it and batman starts freaking the fuck out like hes about to curbstomp my skull into dianshequisha's tv. Batman is practically foaming at the mouth so i say to him "i would never get between you and martha and her titties man."
With pride?
I threw him off of a plane.
First thing that came to mind when I saw the OP image. Someone needs to shop in Ruber.
"And like what you got is probably beautiful or some thit." Now this is when batman lunges at me with his fist and im about to catch it with my teeth so i start thinking some final thoughts. First i sent a prayer to j-man about how im going to meet him real soon then i send one to my mama in heaven, the new apartment building thr city made for some charity shit then i sent a prayer to my dad whoever that is. Then i sent a prayer to my bros and hos fo sho the cholos. Then i sent a prayer to batman so he wouldnt kill me then a prayer to god asking him to stop batman from killing me then i ran out of things to pray for. So then my life started flashing before my eyes and shit and that was pretty dope and then finally them girl's titties flashed before my eyes and apperently that was enough to make me finish, so i did. I shot my load in a direction that so happened to be in batman's face and i was like damn if i nut in his face that'd make me gay and i wouldnt get into heaven. Thankfully batman used his bruce lee powers to dodge the stream. Unthankfully this dodge didnt stop his punch but it did change its trajectory southways and now batman was punching my dick. I dont really remember what happened after that, but i remember that i leaned left before the incident and now i notice i take a hard right about halfway down.
And thats how i almost got batman.
Let me guess, you didn't shoot him first. Missed opportunity.
Why would I shoot a man before throwing him off of a plane?
Strong people of notable sizes and stature have survived worse heights.
>Strong people of notable sizes and stature
In comparison to who?
I thew a guy at him..
I showed him this comic.
He then shoved a batarang up my ass and it's been there since last Wednesday.
Someone needs to make a shop of it altogether. I see meme material.