T-tsu :(

t-tsu :(

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S

going there this april for easter

T

Fuck i hope she pulls through for him, losing your mum is the worst pain bros.

that's his excuse to dodge surprise anti doping tests?

It's ok, he doesn't actually feel anything for other humans.

I thought his mom treated him like shit and didn't love him?

he probably thinks he can save her by going out for a jog at 2am

no, that's his children's situation

no that's his dad

Without his mother's influence he would have been a fisherman in Portugal. He used to sweep alleys.

His mom is based af

this, his first word was not 'mama' it was 'TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU'

>Mom, it's okay, you'll get through this. I have one every week.
>Youuuu...you h-have strokes e-every week?
>Stro- oh, I must have misheard over the phone! I thought you said CHOKES.

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when are you flying back to Germany?

*fires up leafblower*
Righto now you're gettin in.

Kek

Will this retard stop flying from coronavirus central to every other country in Europe.

bruh

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she wanted to abort him, the faggot is now obsessed about being loved

based af

>flying to his very own airport

based

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they speak portuguese, this joke doesn't make sense.

heh heh
teddible

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that's messhit though

DELETE THIS

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she found out that hes a bender

we all obsess about being loved, don't lie to yourself now.

I don't, I'm only obsessed about humanity's future

>Dad was a degenerate alcoholic
>Mum has pathetic, weak heart
>Meanwhile, Messi's parents are the beacon of health

That settles it once and for all Messi > Ronaldo (you now remember Lionel Messi btw)

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cringe and bluepilled

99132379
Fucking terrible

Big yikes.

I like how the two German posters that replied to this were the only ones who found this funny. Unironically love my German bros

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*infects her with corona*

I have to visit Australia before I die. An entire continent of you. I have to see this. Where should I visit first?

shooting range
for acclimatization purpose

He only likes her cuz she has the same face

If she dies, he ‘s gonna either go down the adriano path or becomes an eternal god and win the CL and Euro 2020

lmao

Parents having health problems is a bad feel lads. Sucks that they'll be gone one day and it could be sooner than you think unfortunately.

>"No mama NO! I told you to not be angry it is bad for your health!
>"Oh Son..."
>"What happened? What made you angry?"
>"T-t-transfermarkt...."

noice

SSSSSSSSSS

One less filthy monkey in the world

>caring about some random person randomly assigned to you when you were born
yikes

wew

gonna call my mum t b h

S

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this only proves Ronaldo is the goat because he thrived in unfortunate circumstances, humans only show their true potential in hard situations

lol shut the fuck up, you Messifag

germany tier

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messi was born a midget to a lower middle class argentine family who couldn't afford treating him with HGH

that's the most retarded thing i've ever heard

make sure to check out the statue

>Aussie humour
it's a yikes from me, mate.

im right and you know it

Super cool airport. The whole island is mountainous so they just build this huge platform that extends into the ocean.

I high key can’t wait for Ronaldo or Messi to die so I can shitpost relentlessly and piss off all the third worlders aka soccer fans

why the fuck is she still living in madeira? why not taking her to a better city with better hospitals?

They will outlive your fat burger ass, don't worry about that.

>make a ronaldo choke joke even though Messi is known for it
Low iq banter

Kek, already got a live one and the closet cases haven’t even bit the dust yet, dumb German

it's a really nice island.

>

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>American visiting Australia
>Visiting shooting range

what

grim

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Penaldo has shit tier genetics. Look at all the early deaths in his family. He’ll he dead from a heart attack by 50.

Wollongong

He's going to pull the plug as a revenge from the failed abortion.

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He's a gentleman. He knows you have to love and respect your parents even if they made mistakes raising you. Unlike Messi, who i heard he once spat on the face of his mom after an altercation

Literally anywhere that’s fifty kilometres from the coast except for Melbourne

2004:choked to greece at the euro
2004:choked to west bromwich albion in the league cup
2004:choked in the CL ro16 against porto
2005: choked in the FA cup final against arsenal
2005: choked in league cup semi final against chelsea
2005: choked in the CL ro16 against milan
2006: choked in the FA cup against liverpool
2006: choked in the CL group stage, got eliminated
2006: choked to france at the WC
2007: choked in the FA cup final against chelsea
2007: choked in the CL second leg against milan
2007: choked in the league cup against southend united
2008: choked in the community shield final, won with penalty shootouts without shooting one
2008: choked in the FA cup against portsmouth
2008: choked to germany at the euro
2008: missed his penalty in the penalty shootout, got bailed out by Terry slipping
2009: choked in the fifa club world cup final, got bailed out by rooney
2009: choked in the CL final while Messi scored
2010: choked to spain at the WC
2010: eliminated in the ro16 by lyon in the CL
2011: choked in the CL semifinal against Messi who scored twice
2012: missed his penalty in the penalty shootout of the CL semifinal
2012: choked to spain at the Euro
2013: choked in the CL second leg against dortmund
2014: didn't play in the copa del rey final, got bailed out by di maria and bale
2014: choked against germany and the usa in the groupstage of the WC, got eliminated in the groupstage
2014: got bailed out in the CL final by ramos
2015: choked in the fifa club world cup final, got bailed out by ramos and bale
2016: choked in the final of the CL, got bailed out by ramos
2016: on the bench in the euro final, got bailed out by Eder
2017: choked in the fifa confederation cup against chile
2018: choked in the CL final, got bailed out by benzema and bale
2018: choked to uruguay at the WC
2019: choked in the coppa italia against atalanta
2019: choked in the nations league final, got bailed out by Guedes
2019: choked in the Supercoppa Italiana against Lazio

his dad was the drunk one who ignored him

#PrayForMamaTSUUUUUU #Respect #KickItOut

based, only penaldo dickriders find this offensive

>strayan shitpostan

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Dubs and he catches Corona

Very good post