/mlb/

oyh god i wish they'd put me and my bf on the kissie kam at gay luois stadium

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Alright now I'm pissed

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They call me Tinky... For I am the baddest little gay slut in Cincinnati. You can find me at Below Zero Lounge all year where I'll give you a lapdance if you're good to me. I also do surprise buttsecks for free!

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tinky...

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show us the buttsecks tinky

ok this is a mess... I come here every postseason and this is a fucking mess...this is just...messy....it's completely ergregious...how the fuck doe you even get away whith this nonsense oh my god it's egregious...this is an egregious mess

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>4 IPs
That's it I'm altering the /mlb/ wikipage. The mets are gonna put you in such a seeth this year it's not even funny.

I remember this asshole from craigslist lost connections. He kepst talking about how he lost his fairy at the docks

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niggerlol

doyer@

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Not chinny enough

>/mlb/
LMAO

>cubs
LMAO
>GAYstros
LMAO

the grand mal seeth has been activated

>grand mal seeth
LMAO

can I get some thoughts on kyle schwarber?

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What was his problem?

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LMAO

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Schwarber is a bro

I'll let my surrogate do my funposting for me this evening :3
This is true luxury, boys

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Alright you aren't even saying anything if you think I'm gonna let this slide you're sorely mistaken you motherfucker.

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>the grand mal seeth has been activated
At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have revenge.

I'm losing my cool

I trip down to the docks will fix you right up

t. ERF

why do we allow trips here?
they all suck

dogpile this asshole

winky make ya seethe?

giv'em the ole DP treatment

God bless you Inspector

>tripfags
LMAO

show us the official //mlb/ batman villains, son

>Batman
LMAO

I'm on fire tonight

>LMAO posting
LMAO

Also fuck the cubs
fuck the royals
fuck the astros
fuck the yankees
fuck the AL
and fuck you

sigh........

t. RecKERG.

let's go ahead and be nice to the cubs and royals though

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>cubs
>royals
>non playoff teams
LMAO

Why do White Sox fans root for their team to lose?

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gape loose kek

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“Just one more high draft and then it’s our year”
In the sport with the most meaningless draft

Do they though?

>bocchi
LMAO

hholy based

a new age in sad bocchis has dawned

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Being left out of Wheel of Fortune was the equivalent of winning the world series for White Sox fans

My father works the docks in St Louis

ya GOTTA respect dem louie berds!

kek

the psychogang assembly in /mlb/ is now complete as head honcho finally shows up

Says who? Most of the fans seem very excited for this year and they have a good reason to be. Wait until the season unfolds and then we'll see where they stand.

I remember their fans threatening to leave when reisendorf refused to shell out money for machado. They really dodged a 300 million dollar bullet

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>try to lure in Macaco by signing his brother-in-law/backup 1B Yonder Alonso
>he signs elsewhere and Yonder hits .179 before getting traded

that was comedy gold
only oldfags remember "yonder alonso lol" posting

not da birbs

based

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gay louis kek

gay louis kek

gay louis kek

Im feelin cocky bros Paddack is lookin good and my team has an alpha mascot unlike gay Louis

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fucking based chadres bro puttin the hurt on em

Have the Astros been thrown at yet or is everyone waiting until the season starts when things matter instead of irrelevant beer league that is spring training

we need a return of CHADRES aka the only other known alias of the red emoji now more than ever

Chaddie takeover

chaddies got ya shook

Here we go chadres here we go *stomp clap*

chadres in the building let's go *thump clap bop*

chaddies with the rhymes n the jabs

My Chadres may never lose again.....

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Machado had a higher WAR in 2019 than over half their players that year.

Why is baseball so racially diverse?

Whites, Blacks, Hispanics etc

Heck I even see a couple Asian fellas out there on the pitch.

>WAR
Now padres fans are just reaching

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Who is more cucked? 300 million for Machimpo or 330 million for Hooper?

twisn

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>bOy iT SUre iS a gOoD ThInG wE diDnT sIgN MaChaDo or HaRpER
What the fuck is wrong with whos fans?

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CHADdres pwn you

Chadres...
I've been keeping up with your guys hustle for a while.
Very impressed, hit me up and we could collab.

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THIS was considered a down year for Machado?

>standard batting

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Which team has the most aesthetic jersey?

yankees

Blue Jays and Giants.

>prison uniforms
nah. classic for sure, but the farthest thing from aesthetic

meant for

Literal holocaust inmate tier.

this guy...

cardinals, athletics, and pirates

>athletics
yeah throwing my vote behind this one. those greens are basically perfection

Baltimore

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Anything light blue

Let the fan keep the bat

lmao

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D O Y E R S
O
Y
E
R
S

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Today, I will remind them.

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Tell me about ERG, why does he obsess about the White Sox so much?

i haven't watched a single spring training game yet and i dunno if i'll watch or care when the season actually starts

literally why not just cheat and pay 5 million fine jesus christ

This is why ratings are going to be way down this year. What's even the point anymore when you can just cheat to win and get a slap on the wrist?

>ded sux

>facing Altuve
>hand slips up on release
>breaking ball gets away and nicks his toes
>suspended 10 games

>facing altuve
>thighs start to burn
>realize I've been crouching for several minutes
>stand up and step over him
Ain't worth my time tobehonest

if you wanna save baseball, encourage roasties in the background of the action to flash some titty. Allow this to happen on the regular and your ratings will skyrocket.
youtube.com/watch?v=JnCWpKaMBUM

Autism is a hell of a drug

Based

I hope the cubs and royals only get corona and both squads and franchises die as a result

Found the >berds fan.

Snake bros. Plan on seeing any spring training this year?

Will Joe Biden save MLB when he's duly elected president?

>gape loose

I see r*ddit has arrived

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Yes, baseball runs this country
Trump was elected because the Commissioner’s Office assumed an old man would be inherently pro-baseball, but all he cares about is NASCAR and football
Whether Biden or Bernie win, baseball will win

good idea

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>cusb

Idiot

nice

Why is baseball less popular than NFL?

Iz dey culcha

I said it runs the country, not that it's the most popular
The elites, the rothschilds etc? huge baseball guys

Answer the question

answer his question, son

The NFL season only has 16 games, and they're only played once a week, which makes it more casual friendly
NFL stars are also more marketable since a good quarterback or running back, for example, can completely change the course of a team's season, while it's impossible for a baseball player to single-handedly carry a team because of the nature of the batting order

Sorry

The NL broship in one picture

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>come into baseball thread
>see first 50 posts
ERG was a mistake

@Ken_Rosenthal
BREAKING: Yelich, #Brewers close on $200M-plus deal, sources tell The Athletic

twitter.com/Ken_Rosenthal/status/1234950259630989312

All that money and they still won’t make the playoffs. Yelich is an amazing player but they need pitching and starting pitching especially

no no no please get this savage out of my division

That seals it, Brewies are unstoppable

my brewshits wasting money AGAIN
we need pitchers
trade yelich NOW NOW NOW

Looks like the BGods have once again squat over the league

Jesus christ the beginning of this thread...

>open thread
>check tie start
>nope out of browser!

This thread is psychotic

>be me
>browsing Yea Forums
>rekt threads, gore, etc
>no_reaction.gif
>make way over to Yea Forums
>put /mlb/ in search bar
>open thread
>nope.gif

inb4 it’s for 12 years and yelich becomes the new pujols

>"He's gonna start telling batters what's coming. ... It's just here it comes, try to hit it."

>Trevor Bauer was indicating to Dodgers' batters what pitch he was throwing.

twitter.com/espn/status/1234630311725719552?s=20

Why did the Red Sox give up on having a winning team?

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no one cares about trevor gayuer

costs too much

Fans didn't buy enough merch

(((Alex Bregman))) should be thrown in a cage with a cubbie bear and a cardinal as punishment for his role in the sign stealing scandal and the international Jewish Bolshevik conspiracy.

>Arizona DiamondGays
>Atlanta Gays
>Baltimore Gayriols
>Boston Gay Sox
>Chigaygo Cubs
>Gaycago White Sox
>Cincinngayti Reds
>Colorado Gaykies
>Detroit Tigays
>Gayston Gaystros
>Kansas City Gayals
>Los Angeles Gayngels
>Los Gaygeles Dodgers
>Miami Gaylins
>Gaywaukee Brewers
>Minnesogay Twins
>New York Gays
>New York Gaynkees
>Gayland Athletics
>Gayledelphia Gayllies
>Pittsburgh Gayrats
>San Diegay Padres
>San Francisco Gayiants
>Gayattle Mariners
>Gay Louis Cardinals
>Tampa Gay Gays
>Texas Rangays
>Toronto Blue Gays
>Gayshington Nationals

they were too generous with the $8 beers

why didnt the cubbies try to sign him

How else are baseball fans supposed to get beers?

Only a real fan the knows the answer:
1. Breece Herper of the Cleveland Clevies.
2. Bruce Hochschild of the Cincinnati Cincies
3. Bryce Harper of the Philadelphia Phillies
4. Brace Hairpin of the Baltimore Ballies
5. Brad Halpert of the Oakland Oakies

trick question it’s Bronze Hortler of the Miami Mimis

Mimis own ya

they need to raise the price, it's the only way
$14 minimum

>go to the rival bro

I’m growing cockier by the game lads my chaddies are gonna be good this season

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ST don't mean shit, bruv.
Keep your eyes on the regular season.

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Where is James Shields in this image?

Who?

hey, kenny got his man
and don't you forget it

>Where is James Shields in this image?
James Shields. Pothead.

t. ERF

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>the 2nd best player in the league is taking a PAYCUT to spend the rest of his career in MILWAUKEE
is baseball dead?

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Judge doesn't play in Milwaukee

HAHAHAHA

>cusb

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Simply based

oh no no no whosbros we got too cocky

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For me, it's this decade's upcoming dynasty, The Los Angeles Dodgers.

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>Why yes, i always been a die hard fan of the...
>Anaheim Annies
>Arizona Arizonies
>Atlanta Atlanties
>Baltimore Balties
>Boston Bosties
>Cincinatti Cincies
>Chicago Chickies
>Cleveland Clevies
>Colorado Collies
>Detroit Detries
>Houston Housties
>Kansas City Kansies
>Los Angeles Angies
>Miami Miamies
>Milwaukee Millies
>Minnesota Minnies
>Montreal Monnies
>New York Yorkies
>Oakland Oaklies
>Philadelphia Phillies
>Pittsburgh Pitsies
>San Diego Diegies
>San Francisco Francies
>St. Louis Louisies
>Seattle Seatties
>Tampa Bay Tampies
>Texas Texies
>Toronto Toronties
>Washington Washies
>How could you tell?

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Find Panama

Panama is the skinny horizontal country above South America

Kill Panama

I’m readying the WMDs

Sex with panama

respect to ya!

They're called The Doggie Doos

We need more kekkies

Who is ERF?

Erotic Role Fantasy

Machado looks like a poorly done wax version of himself

Redpill me on Christian Yelich's $215/9 year deal.

Isn't that insanely cheap for someone with his output? Are the Brewers covering up failed steroid tests or what?

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He's 32, 9 years is a long fucking time and big risk for Milwaukee.

He’s only 28 actually, you’re probably thinking of Pujols

9 years is too long for any player at any age.

Harper: $330/13. $25.4/year.
Yelich: $215/9. $23.9/year.

Harper has two more dead years on the end of his deal than Yelich (based on relative ages.) Both Harper and Yelich had a few hiccups with nagging injuries but Yelich delivered 2 MVP-tier seasons in a row whilest Harper's two great seasons were surrounded by just ok seasons.

That's what I don't get. Every team seriously trying to win in MLB should've been giddy at the prospect of getting an MVP player so cheap, unless they figure the last two seasons were steroid/sign-stealing flukes and he's going to regress to mediocrity.

noooo we were supposed to get yelich noooo ;-;

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Let's play "when did the baseball player start taking steroids and when did they optimize their cycle?"

AB/HR each year for Christian Yelich:
60
65
68
_______ Below here you are on roids
28
33
_______ Below here you are on Roid Braun level of roids
16
11

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retard in mysights

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Literally SEETHING MLB players trying to keep up their cheating racket on a mongolian trading card emporium. You hate to see it.

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find the one they call the "midwestern chameleon"... search the archives.... find the truth

Trevor Bauer is Inspector Godgers. Cap this post.

Inspector Godgers has abandoned us.

sports.yahoo.com/mlb-risks-losing-casual-baseball-fans-with-shuffling-streaming-rights-and-tv-blackouts-234703429.html

>yahoo is actually right about something

YAHOOOOOO Yay!!!!! yahoooooooo! woohoo!!! yippee!!!!!!1

Which white players have yellow skin?

I'm not gonna be able to watch my cubbies legally this year D:

Calm down, Jerry

I think some of the concern dragging his value down is that the knee fracture may have some permanent affect on his speed in baserunning/fielding. Still, when I saw 215/9yr, I was shocked at what a good deal it seemed like for the brewers. especially since, if the DH comes to the NL, that possible decline may not be a concern.

Find the one they call asshole

don’t say that
i want to believe the dh will stay away forever

its coming

honestly i’m a fan of an al team so it doesn’t affect me, but i always liked the differentiation between the leagues, and the idea that all 9 fielders should bat

>an al team
anal team kek!

>muh double switch
>muh pitcher .085 ba with 1 hr/year

I was just doing a hee hee about your "an al" comment spelling out "anal", hee hee.
Pitchers hitting can be fun but usually sucks!

ane team kek

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brehs....we’re getting close

One month from now the Padres will be in 4th place for the rest of the season.

>anal
HA!

Doggies and Dbacks..who else

Rox mog the Poodres.

Astros are based

Change my mind

it's opposite day
now you're confused
your mind has been changed

Hey /mlb/!

Keep up the good work!

Much respect to ya all.

Yours truly,

Kyle Schwarber

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>ubs

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>creds

I hope the Rangers trade for Schwarbie so the Gallie-Schwarbie gang can be united

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hmm... very nice use of intuitive induction... I figured one would eventually come to this conclusion due to the mysterious nature behind me...as you know though, inferences aren't enough... intuitive induction is induction based on inferences... your inference was false from the very start leading the base of the house of cards you made destroyed... as we know, you are left with a pile of cards. you were so sure of yourself that you took each path without questioning yourself. I won't list you but next time you come at me without the data to back it up you can bet you'll be listed for slander.

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Based

god i wish i were boras

What's his rate anyway?

5% of a billion is merely 50 mil, 10% 100 million. Woulld be weird to think he's getting paid less than Zack Wheeler for all these deals

It is 5%, but remember that his career is longer than the players he represents
And Wheeler’s contract is $23.5 million a year, so Boras is pulling in plenty

This isn’t the real inspector. This is Gerrit Cole trying to slander my man Trev TBau, warrior of god.

doyer@

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I love him so much I hope he can recapture his ALL star level production

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...

Uhmm no sweetie my chadres are better than everyone in the NL west except for the doyers

FUCK NEW YORK AND FUCK LOS ANGELES

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Why?