/cric/

Does it still count as LBW if your gut hangs in front of your pads?

based

What about VBW haha

>female umpire
>actually made good decisions all day
wtf, why do they persist with blind cunts like dar when we could have young fitties like this girl

HAS ANYONE SEEN MY TICKET!?

upboat this post if you understood

Struggling to comprehend this bewildering post

don't get it mate

vag before wicket

i'm not watching, do NZ have a chance?

yes but aus are on top

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okay, this is epic

where does francis bat in the order? or is he a bowler

>The friendship between Kane Williamson and Virat Kohli looks to be seriously strained.

>Among his vocal outbursts was one which appeared to be directed towards the Black Caps skipper when Williamson was dismissed during New Zealand's first innings at Hagley Oval.

>Kohli appeared to yell "Bhen Chod", which is Hindi-Urdu slang for a crude sexual insult, in Williamson's direction during a tirade.

stuff.co.nz/sport/cricket/black-caps/119941740/indias-virat-kohlis-friendship-with-nzs-kane-williamson-hits-rough-patch

VBW situation right here

Now that was a VBW.

kek actual VBW on the cards here

right on the top of middle stump
classic VBW

New Zealand are DONE

it's clearly the hip you stupid bitch

>women
thats a turbo cringe from me

t. incel

imagine not backing /thegirls/
also GONE GOTTEM GET THE FUCK OFF THE PITCH
DEVINE MORE LIKE MORTALLY WOUNDED FUCK OFF

>getting stumped halfway down the pitch facing a 60km ball
Big yikes.

the unimaginable lack of pace must have fooled her lmao

They're going to lose this, aren't they lads?

finna shutt

>they
bit racist and sexist

hmm
quite like women lads

still need to make up one of perry's overs
think I'd still put aus on top though

cute asian women

green is seeing red here

:(

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kerr more like kan't

kerrash

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HIDE IN YOUR HOBBIT ISLAND PLAYING ON BABBY MEME GROUNDS AND NEVER USING PROPER TACTICS

BLOWN. THE. FUCK. OUT

GET FUCKED KIWIS. FUCK OFF.

literally don't care about winning just want perry to get a career ending injury so pozztralia lose in the finals

SCHUTT HAS GOT A HATTRICK ON ELISE PERRY'S HOSPITAL BED

>literally don't care about winning
is this why kiwis are constantly losing?

COPE

ohnonono ausbros it's not over yet!

>saving your sixth bowler for the final over
big brained captaincy

What happened to all the India posters bros?

youre welcome

gj bra
You know when your team loses to poo pealand you've been thoroughly EXPOSED

BSKs bullied them the fuck out along with bald shitter Zach Bowen and his lackey Fatguts. You're welcome.

Just saw the NZ-India result. Fucking hell that's an embarrassment for the poos.

it's women's cricket. literally no one cares, the players don't even care.

p sure he just likes reposting that classic pasta m8

The poo-shaming New Zealand

OH NO NO NO

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why are poos so salty

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Sensing a hint of backhandedness from hemants compliment here

haha yeah but dont look at kanes stats haha

Check Jamiesons stats

Hahahhah this pleases me.

no future

>The virgin Indian "best batsman in the world" who only scores on flat wickets when everyone else is making runs anyway

>The virgin Australian "best batsman in the world" who only scores on seeming zipping landmine pitches when everyone else is dropping like flies

>The Chad Marnus

Who would you pick /cric/?

So this is the power of not playing on dusty meme pitches

youtube.com/watch?v=aDCAqdmEZ8w

unironically true

I wish we'd stop rolling out roads for them everytime they tour, mind you it looks like the MCG has finally taken note and spiced their ptch up a bit.

Idiotic post

>australian pitches are roads
yeah no

only took them a decade of boring pitches to change

>australian pitches are not roads!
espncricinfo.com/series/18108/scorecard/892511/australia-vs-new-zealand-2nd-test-new-zealand-tour-of-australia-2015-16

I'm thinking back to the last time India toured against a full strength Australia team and there were two drawn tests.

the virgin 624 all out or the chad 559/9d...

only Perth, Adelaide and Bellrieve have anything in them

>n-no look at these cherrypicked examples from 5 years ago

what about their last tour where the only draw was due to rain, and even the Indians barely ever posted anything above 300?

How often do you think India tours?

>brisbane doesn't have anything in it
fucking cazzies I swear to god

I didn't watch that shit you retard.

Evening homos

clearly

The WACA was horribly managed in those final years... MMarsh almost got an ashes double century it was so flat.

forgot Brisbane lol

but yeah the road meme comes from the MCG, SCG and a few bad WACA wickets

the guy who did that now runs the MCG

I thought that was a decent pitch though, wasn't the best I've seen but it was a far cry from the decks in previous years.

Why would I watch the Australian team at a time when our own governing body banned our generation's Don Bradman from playing?

Mind you he produced that good pitch only after he realised that seamers were likely to decapitate cunts on it during shield.

Voges was never banned you dumb fuck

Yeah but they only fucked up that shield pitch because they were specifically trying to spice it up for the test match.
Which shows they've at least got the right mindset now.

took em way too long to get him into the fucken team though ey?
>"why don't we give the marsh boys another go?"

he was bad right up until he got selected

Wouldn't really call the SCG a road at the moment, it's wearing nicely for the spinners on days 4 and 5

You now remember that one test Callum Ferguson played when australia hopelessly collapsed against SA in hobart...

p sure he dominated shield for 2 years, and then they still delayed, before they finally got him into the team

Santner makes every pitch look lifeless

was going to fit this joke in somewhere

Santner is so shit he isn't even allowed on the bowlers after match limo trips any more.

it wasn't really a bad call not to given how old he was tbf

all the more reason to get him in for a couple of good years before he fizzes out

nah because you're not getting anything out of him past those few years, while you could have blooded a younger player with a view to the 2015 Ashes and CWC

Not happy with the discussion following the test here. Might check on r/cricket to get more brainful reflection

I'm about to go on a second date with a girl. Is it appropriate to kiss her? How do I go about it?

If you're asking /cric/ this question then you've already failed

should i just kms

post a pic of her/yourself mate and we can make a judgment

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looking good mate

please

Probably need to lay off the steroids so your penis grows to a normal size and not a shrunken raisin

this is her

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just make sure you don't start laughing when you ask her if you can kiss her goodnight, i did that once because I was nervous and she thought i was mocking her and got annoyed about it.

this is a job for bushpigbro

thoughts?

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still better than the one I posted

Slampig.

give her hug when you meet up with her, make sure her big tits press into you chest so she knows mate.

They look like nice girls

NICE rack but you can just tell she has negative ass

Kino scoring

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this is a job for bushpigbro

This is a job for me, a certain other recurring character around these parts

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literally can't work out if the frozen goes upstairs or downstairs

black hat on the right is the go

So I can just flat-out ask her if she wants to kiss?

Railway signaller.

I've never been afraid of doing it, I only do it if I think she likes me. Try and flirt a bit beforehand, the entire point of this meet cute shit is to suss each other. Give her a hug when you see her, if she reciprocates any touching during the date you're probably good on the go ahead.

I feel anxious just reading that. I think I might give it a miss.

Well then you're just gonna have to rely on your mind reading powers.

lizzie just got finna married

why did you message me 'it's you?' on facebook the other day zachy?
Also, congratulations on the new job.

really into russian hard bass these days

that was a virus
Couldnt be arsed to message everyone telling them that soz

Feeling a bit sad for aus/cric/ if they can't pick up queues from their tinder slam piece who wants p in v.

barely any coronavirus cases in Africa, ironic just a bit don't ya think.

no what's the irony?

there are actually quite a lot of Chinese in africa
and a lot of viruses

No. Coronaviruses like the cold, why do you think the common cold is called that? Your immune system doesn't work well in the cold. Many of the places in China and Iran worst affected are at higher altitude and during winter. Gonna be a shit show here during winter.

how come there are no cases of corona virus in Antarctica then m8

No Chinese restaurants in Antarctica mate

it's summer there

there's a lot of chinese all over mate, not just africa

Yes mate there is one sitting in my computer chair right now

*brap*
here's your cricket :)

I'm genuinely retarded when it comes to girls
went to an all boys school and was a shut in recluse from 17-19 because of depression.
I'm perfectly fine socially otherwise but I have no fucking clue how dating works as a result

Should I bowl some offies next week despite never trying it before lads? Would I look too autistic if I went between seam and spin?

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everyone does this, hardly autistic just classic village

Cheers lad. I reckon if I send down some really slow shite it might convince a fat Indian man to take it on and fuck it up. Probably how Joe Root does his bowling

I was my team's highest wicket-taker doing just that with my leggies
slow and loopy as fuck, but I actually got some turn and that'd catch them by surprise mid slog

DON'T MIND THAT BOYS

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any /trek/ man in?

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is that big bad harv?

decided I'm picking up club cricket again next season

youtube.com/watch?v=km7X-uHXd9E
certain man ITT

that’s intense with his heart pounding like that

>bike nonce
Grim

really want to fuck an asian escort
really dont want to catch corona virus

jus b urself :)

feels good to be a shut-in, a simple life with simple pleasures

why an escort? just be ikemen like me lmao pic related its me

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you'll either love it or hate it lad, wish you all the best

Club cricket is something you miss badly when its gone but when matchday comes you'll ask yourself why the fuck you ever picked up a bat

not sure about the second part of that sentence, loved playing this year

I love the playing, its the part before that. When you wake up at 7 on a cold day and have to take a two hour drive to some middle of nowhere club, once the game starts the anxiety fades

furthest i have to drive is 45 minutes for a 12:30 start, suppose i should count myself lucky

I was in the least-densely populated and one of the biggest counties in the UK so we'd often have to go quite far away to tiny backwaters. It's England so the distances weren't huge but its the fact they are out of the way. Pretty grounds though

>headphone wire bent too much
>have to keep it at a certain angle so it doesn't just disconnect constantly
bit sad lads

>tfw dealing with normie banter

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too poor to buy a new headphone?

it's been going on for a while but I think i'll buy new ones tomorrow. they're for my computer desu

yeah that was my experience when I did it
all worth it when you're sinking tins with the lads back at the clubhouse though

>New Zealand fails to get to 242 in the first inning
>India proceeds to outdo that with a collapse at 90/6
kek

off to bed

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for me it's to bed at 9am, waking up at the crack of 7pm

eating spicy buffalo wing doritos lads

Watching the Pakistani Super League lads

only watch Quetta Gladiators games, any other team is pozzed gay shit

im getting tested for Coronavirus lads after a recent work trip to Italy ffs lads

fair enough

deano my son

based normies fearing death, all this quality shit going for 80% off, makes it worth not just lifting it.

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Oh yeah the NPD sufferer comes in to spout a few buzzwords and not even acknowledge cricket exists

You should have a cric meetup with Zach and Daniel

God I would love it if Zachy got really sick

At least zachy wouldn't spread it to anyone else because he never leaves the house

yawn

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have we been autosaged yet lads

spoiler alert: no

dentist on the cards here

Keep us updated mate

Day 4 of the test today lads looking forward to watching some cricket

If the Coronavirus could bowl what do you think it’s favourite delivery would be?

teeth are all good

probably a chinaman joke to be made but it won't be me
for me, it would favour the inswinging yorker

Doctor stuck his finger in my bum lads

why wont emma watson apologise for her new car lads

Might become feminist to make the incels seethe

test

autosage?

JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, SO JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, ARE YOU OKAY, JANNY?
JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, SO JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, ARE YOU OKAY, JANNY?
JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, SO JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, ARE YOU OKAY, JANNY?
JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, SO JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, ARE YOU OKAY, JANNY?

JANNY ARE YOU OKAY?
WILL YOU TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY?
THERE'S A THREAD ON THE FIRST PAGE
THEN HE DABBED YOU, A TUXEDO, JANNY
HE CAME INTO YOUR REPORT CUE
LEFT THE PEPE, SAYING FUCK YOU
AND THEN YOU CRIED TO THE MOD TOO
YOU WERE DABBED ON
IT WAS YOUR DOOM

JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, SO JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, ARE YOU OKAY, JANNY?
JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, SO JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, ARE YOU OKAY, JANNY?
JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, SO JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, ARE YOU OKAY, JANNY?
JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, SO JANNY ARE YOU OKAY, ARE YOU OKAY, JANNY?

YOU'VE BEEN FUCKED BY
YOU'VE BEEN DABBED ON BY

A CUTE CRIMINAL

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no fucking way how did this get stickied?!

Yeah, I'm gonna make the post on the old /cric/ thread
I'm gonna post 'til I can't no more
I'm gonna make the post on the old /cric/ thread
I'm gonna (shit) post 'til I can't no more

I got the tripcunts in the back
Sebbo is too fat
/hoc/ is seething mad
Got Richo who's mad to match
/cric/ saved by Mado-ka
You can make the post
I been making wallops
You ain't been out Hagley O-val

Ain’t no Paki tell me nothing
You can’t tell me nothing
Ain’t no Lankan tell me nothing
You can’t tell me nothing

Poo Peeland is madder
Goosey’s getting fatter
Sebbo fucked his doggy
But emptied his bladder
/cric/ threads are a movie
Tripcunts get all moody
Incel pedo screwy
Richo touched kid booty

Ain’t no Bangla tell me nothing
You can’t tell me nothing
Ain’t no Indi tell me nothing
You can’t tell me nothing

Yeah, I'm gonna make the post on the old /cric/ thread
I'm gonna post 'til I can't no more
I'm gonna make the post on the old /cric/ thread
I'm gonna post 'til I can't no more

Hughes down, poos frown, pooperpower's gone shart
Made a ton of shitposts praising Based God Mitch Starc
/cric/ threads got a habit getting shafted by a janitor
Mowing down Poo Peeland with our Patty CumGOD bowler
/wog/'s gone dead, /nrl/'s gone flat
I've got a business idea to bring /cric/ on back
Wish I could make the post on that old /cric/ thread
I wanna post 'til I can't no more.

Yeah, I'm gonna make the post on the old /cric/ thread
I'm gonna post 'til I can't no more
I'm gonna make the post on the old /cric/ thread
I'm gonna post 'til I can't no more

MLC > The Hundred

yep,
cricket

haven't seen any men from certain brown smelly country in a while

and the strange thing was that throughout the morning she kept referring to the Indians as niggers. "no no no no no" I said, "Niggers are the West Indians, these people are wogs!"

BREAKING NEWS: DLS METHOD REDUCES TARGET TO 8, /CRIC/ WINS BY 200 POSTS.

...

MUH MUH MUH MYYY CORONA
doo bee doo be doo doo doo be doo

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Pneuma