UFC FIGHT NIGHT 159 THREAD #1: PRELIMS EDITION

This is the thread now

wow, this is an especially terrible card, only 2 fights that might be good

Sijara looks like Anthony Pettis

cut him. He looked asleep out there

>gifted a FOTN cause the UFC never gives FOTN to women so they had to do it at least once
>in reality it was worst fight of the night
How pathetic is Sijara?

I can only see one

>mfw multithreads

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Get ready for the spiciest unanimous decision of your life

Bitch Carrera has a nice ass desu.

bethe always looks so bloated

*mexican whistling*

>that autistic spin

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Based Bagelchad.

Three rounds of this boys, better strap in

I miss Ronda. Not the early Ronda though, the one without head movement who got pummeled relentlessly into a shameful career retreat. That Ronda was hilarious.

these women are pure weight bullies, not even athletic.

piss break

How does a woman who looks like this not know how to throw a punch?

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Pitbull has a 10/10 gap.

I'd sniff Bethe

just answered your own question there m8

because she's primarily a grappler.

The fucking muffintop overflowing from Whobanx's shorts, wtf...

Bitch in trouble

please stop the fight

Beth Correia pound 4 pound worst wmma fighter on the roster.

faggot ref for not stopping the fight there

DIOS MIO

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STOP THE FIGHT

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the real question here is, would you shag Sijara Eubanks?

Nah that’s Ryan McDonald. Bethe has actually won in the UFC before

eubanks is a fucking brainlet

She actually fought for the title once and got ko'd by Ronda Rousey in like 10 seconds.

Pitbull waddles about so fucking sexy. Clunk for me you hairy-faced goddess.

You don't shag her, she shags you

is there a fight going on?

Bethe has a juicy bunda but that's about it

Is that Mark Henry's daugher?

How many years until the crowds stop being afraid of booing WMMA fights?

WHAT A SURPRISE, THIS FIGHT IS SHIT

why is there even a top 15 for women? anyone below 5 is irrelevant in terms of interesting fights.

I hope sijara loses.

god i hope she loses after that celebrAtion

Their low kicks are something else

I really, really wish women weren't so shit at fighting. We could have a world full of snu-snu but nooo

>that celebration
Cringe yet hawt. Why

i guess i'd give it to bethe

I watched the TUF with Eddie and Gaethje.
Sijara Eubanks is a product of it, as is Lauren Murphy, Nico Montano, Roxanne Moddafieri.

Just a complete abomination.

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BETCH is the goat

in awe you nerds watched that past the first round

Straight in the pooper exclusively though, amirite?

BRAAAAAAAAAAAPFFFFF

THE PITBULL

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of course

Bunda queen does it again! We need a webm of that decision celebration tho.

when it comes to brazilian girls there isn't much of a difference

HEEM

THIS CARD

INSIDE

BEARJEW TIME

Whore.

I didn't actually

Vacation here y/n

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Coatbridge is a den of antisemitism

Does he fight for bravery?

Moreira is an absolute bum. Jew has some skill at least

WAR BEAR JEW

>Biffy Clyro
>not coming out to The Twilight Sad
'sake

Moreira looked shook at the weigh ins

Incoming

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You want a heem?
you dont want a heem

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>le elevation meme
Shut up.

Had the pleasure of meeting Paul Craig at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny.

Is he unironically jewish?

Inglorious basterds reference

Moreira is a turbo can m8, he would be shook if he fought even me

You think you want a heem but you really dont

>pulls guard
fuck you

I could go without a heem. Honestly, I'm not even thinking about a heem right now. I'm in control.

Based Bear Jew.

Reminder Jewish men have gigantic dicks.

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HEEM TAPPY

YAAAAASSSSSS

based

That's what us in the business call can crushin'

HEEEEM TAPPYY

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SCOTTS STAND UP

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BASED PAUL

fuck it GIVE ME THAT FUCKING HEEM YOU GLORIOUS SCOTTISH BASTARD TAPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYASSSSSSSS

youtube.com/watch?v=Oi7xBe5-M8k
NEW THREAD THEME

SCOTLAND 4EVER

FUCK ENGLAND
FUCK THE UK
FUCK BRAZIL

kek how the fuck is this dude in the ufc

bisping commentary ALMOST makes these events unwatchable

based

Based.

Based skirt wearer

Is anyone watching this lmfao what a boring card

We need more of Bethe twerking

he speaks like he's drooling everytime

3 1st Round KO losses for Moreira, he’s getting cut

based Craig making that translator work extra hard

this guy should do audiobooks, golden voice

What's Spanish for HAUD THAT YA CUNT?

Translation is pathetic, this cunt can't deal with Craig's dulcet Scottish accent.

Fucking scotts this is mexi country!

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IT'S FUCKING SHITE BEING SCOTTISH

The Rony Jason KO is brutal once you see the backstage shit after the KO when Rony cuts himself open

>mfw flyweights

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>Rony cuts himself open
wat

This female presenter is monotone as fuck

I Hope so. He and that bootleg Anderson Silva dude who fough early.

I want to lick Heidi's moist gusset, or even just hold her hand and stuff.

youtube.com/watch?v=We-FpSxrM4Q

why would you want to hold a hand

WINEBS NNA

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lol thx

THATS CUM IN THERE

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Hand control, so she can't defend my strikes.

That's right so never come here

yassssssssssss cunt got heemed

lol. Why are mexicans so damn short.

Ricky Simon’s mullet is so BASED

Brazilians have been very lackluster since USADA was implemented. Really makes you think.

Tyson Nam dabbed on Eduardo Dantas back in the day

Also Ali Bago

they're mixed with that now extinct primate that was like 3 feet tall

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its the elevation

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Why is Dana preventing Ryan Hall from getting his long awaited title shot?

amerindian genetics

>that hair
bitch looks like one of those star wars thot aliens

He’s probably the most ducked fighter on the roster.

these guys are just cans, nothing to do with peds

cans gassing out, the card

Sergio is pretty good. Why does he fight a guy who debuts

Hall solved MMA and it would ruin the UFC

wait a minute

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i am just now realizing that i should not waste my saturday night watching this card

theres like 6 people in the division

People should be thrown out of the arena for whistling

Dana needs to bully some of these absolute shitebags into Ryan's guard

Or provide a generational influx of high-tier meme fighters

I fucking hate this smug fake whore and her orbiter waifufags so goddamned much.

imagine two fighters simultaniously imanari rolling and clashing heads into a no contest

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>UFC got rid of Jimmy Smith and Goldberg for these two idiots

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Was walking down the road the other day, this chap came up to me. I said to him, 'Haven't seen you for a while.' He said 'Just got back from Nam.' I said, 'What, Vietnam?' He said 'No, mate, was fighting Tyson Nam'.

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these faggots are boring as fuck

MMMA was a mistake.

Just disband the Flyweight division. No one wants to see this shit.

Dana please delete flyweights. I prefer WMMA over this

t. incels

DUDE SPINS LMAO

There should be an imanari roll bonus to ensure it happens all the time

Is Ariane Carnelossi /ourgirl/?

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>actually watching this card
why

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Flyweight died when Mighty Mouse left, even then it was pretty boring.

I hate betting on slants, never turns out well

>girl

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Pettis is NOT a heemer

I want to touch her muscles haha

Because not everyone is a cazzie like you

be nice

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God I'd pay 1 million bucks just to lick >her armpits and cum while she hammerfists my dick

This fight fucking sucks.

he's heemless in the ufc

*puts hand on hip*
*Bobs head sarcastically*
"YO MUFUCKA ALEXA"
*smacks lips"
"PLAY ANCONDA BY niggi minajetwa"
>PLAYING TRAVELIN BY BOB DYLAN

One more minute of this pitter patter fagginess.

UFC Denmark is STACKED AF. I just checked the fights now and it gave me a little comfort to bear this shit card.

The crowds pissed lol

>be cazzie
>have fun watching big cards and hyped fights
>be hardcore
>sit through every boring bumfest for internet credit
I don't see the problem

based mexi's want blood

BearJew's FOTN bonus looking safe...

fuck this card and fuck mexico

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I fucking hate this crowd. Everyone whistling should have their nose broken.

Nice set, Brendan.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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JUST
LIKE
THAT

God I hate Brazilians

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Wow, rude.

This crowd is based. They deserved to be bood

>30-27
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

worked

Based swede

The SIZE of carnelossi

>no interview because boring manlet faggot wgaf
lmao

Oh god its the nigress. She will get out pointed again

Based

this girl is 100% juicing. Not even trying to hide it.

13 years boy will win

seethe harder faggot

if this wmma fight gets a heem, the male flyweight division is cut

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id drink her juice if you catch my drift

15 minutes of amazing fighting coming up here lads. I AM FUCKING PSYCHED GOOO WMMA!

Which one?

If Hill loses she's 100% cut

She cute

>Black Metal
Fucking based

WMMA will save the card

I'm literally masturbating to this fight

id unironically rather watch wmma than fly weights

I like the whistling

finna nut before grasso assparza

>voice of heidi androl
That's the roidyest sounding name I've ever heard.

I'll whistle at your funeral m7

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIBA

christ her triceps are bigger than mine

KEK nice walkout song

This.

THATS A WOMAN?

He has hair like Matt Stonie. Eww

lol no she wont. Casuals out in full force tonight.

>white brazilian bitch with an italian surname comes out to speedy gonzalez's jam
What in the fuck lads...

Those arms.....

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>Those biceps
hnnngggg

So are trannys allowed in WMMA then? Brave, so brave.

How is this tranny sanctioned to fight women?

Just got home and
>female commentary
What in the actual FUCK JewFC

to the fucking gills

sergio only in the ufc because of his last name

did they glue brock lesnar arms on her?

>the muscles on this lady

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Hit the gym before we take your lunch money, twerp.

i can do like 15 push ups il fuck you up

Angela Hill is the female Derek Brunson

>cuts from 135
BOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Think there will be a live stream at Hill's funeral?

I'm younger, healthier, and more genetically gifted than you. I'll literally be doing one handed air flares on your tombstone Felix.

Twas just for a minute.

The boy is probably double jointed

This Carnelossi sure is a cutie. She's like Ellen Page if Ellen was some midget guy called Alan who lifts.

whoa... so this is... the power of... flyweight pace... so fast... amazing...

>Carnelossi on the right

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FERNANDO SARAS SALVADOR HERMANDEZ GONZALEZ

>cartel referee

I feel like I just watched Hill fight. Why do I have to watch her again?

yuck wmma time to make food.

B-but I thought that was my name in the r/heem friend simulator...

We saw that he is during the pre-fight checks.

HILL IS /MYGIRL/

post-usada cunny

That mexican crowd really looks unhealthy. Is it the light thats making them look like that?

cannelloni is definetly on the juice

w-what?

its the elevation

>Jeremy “I-I’m Mexican too!” Stephens

Hill getting trucked lmao

>boying an edgelord negress

would't you stress eat if you found the local cop's skinned face in your mailbox?

Carnelossi has to win this, I wanna see more of this juicy bitty

Most of the chicks from that TUF season might as well have tenure

Hill to win via flying knee. Screencap this

lol she fights exactly like Andrade

Do you think I could take one of those manlet chicks in a 1 on 1? I'm 6'1, slightly overweight with no previous fighting experience. I reckon I could snap one of their arms in half if I really felt like it

nowhere near tyson fury level cringe

Is carnelossi a tranny?

>roidbabby getting exposed
oh nonononono

Why are roidmonkey wmma fighters always cans?

Him throwing the three Spanish words he knows in the middle of speaking English was cringier 'n a muthafucka.

lol you'd be on the ground in seconds

Man, this Cannelloni chick is huge!

He's making a mockery of this sport, that's what he is.

carnelossi movement is so stiff what the fuck

Angela is flushing this turd

Hill is fighting smart for once

Fuck, I wanted Carnelossi to win so bad

it's her first ufc fight she's just getting used to it

Probably gonna need at least two tries, bitch is a lunker.

Technique > Power

Why the hell are you guys making sexual comments about carnelossi??? She's pretty ugly bros

>cartel ref threatens you to be more active or theyll send another family members decapitated head

Hill fucking up this roidhue

Tbh I was commentating more on the state of their complexion.

another roided can crusher exposed

yeah I guess if they started doing their grappling routine on me I would probably be fucked. If I just kept running out of their reach though I'm sure I could throw in a couple of, by male standards, weak punches that would hopefully inflict some damage on their fragile female bodies

this hue dyke fucking blows

Unlikely. Normal women put up a really big fight when you try and restrain them, even ones that are a foot shorter than you bite and wriggle hard when you're trying to subdue them.

I'm feeling very pathetic right now

Roided hue dyke is the best base for WMMA though.

There's still a chance Carnelossi catches Hill with a wild haymaker for that instant KO

hope hill sheems this horrifying cannoli bitch

you gotta step outside your own boundaries and insecurities m8

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same

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yup

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meine seiten

u should

roid dykes are not a draw, no one cares about essential men beating women

Didn’t help Sarah Frota much. 2 losses, 2 year suspension.

You're among friends user, share your troubles and we'll heem them together.

Lads, how do I get a hapa GF?

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Have sex.

tiddys almost

why?

step 1, buy a house that has a basement

heem me

>wmma

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jesus Carnelossi's arms are fucking huge

I bet if I jump on this juicers traps I'd get at least 4 feet of air from the bounce.

Instructor kicked me out of class today for getting an erection whilst rolling. Not even gay, was just an accident.

why tf does she advance if she doesnt throw punches

HILL BOUTTA GET HEEM'T

heeeeeeeeeeeeey

By God, lord help us

Carnelossi could put Hill out with one fucking punch if she could just get the job done already

If you heem ur enemies they win

Former soviet covert operative is the best base for wmma

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DEX > STR

Did he tell you to leave privately or did he call you out in front of everyone?
Are you going to go back?

Literally just go outside, approached one you find attractive and talk to them like a normal human being, ask to take them out somewhere, ask for their Insta/Snap/number. If you're ugly just rape someone.

I want to sniff between her arse cheeks

maybe if UFC cut both wmma and the turbomanlet divisions fighters will be paid better

fr, just PUNCH already you retarded roidass. Flatfooted retard baka

dude this is a homosexual board get that shit outta here

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"If you feel she's coming hard"

>take roids
>only workout your arms
"she" looks so goofy

>lacks the beauty of pure european ancestry
>has to painfully force "cute" asian expressions
race mixing dooms your children to lives as hideous outcasts

How would Emilia Clarke do in WMMA?

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reminder that hill always starts strong and fizzles out quick it's still anyone's game

You should have said you were gay and that the instructor committed a hate crime.

Val is absolute trash don't @ me

Absolutely obsessed, pathetic subhuman life you have my man

Privately. He told me to take the day and cool off. Seemed kinda pissed. I'll go back but word will spread and no one will roll with me prob

fuck off chang

why are the commentators sucking carnelossi’s girldick so hard. i know hills a can but she’s been cautious and effective this fight

if she fights as well as she acts, she gets gadooshed in 10 seconds

I wanna stick my finger in her ass and force her to sniff it wouldn't that be weird haha

i just want to see a nigress getting heemed is that too much to fucking ask for

>midget rushes you without head movement
>wait until R3 before you start firing out high knees
based low IQ fighter

Fingers crossed, I need more of this roid dyke

be another beautiful can

>bores you to death for 5 rounds
>"""""best base for wmma"""""

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EL GOBLINO

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HOMEGIRL LEAKING YO

crackheadstream is garbage

HEEM LEAKY

SHEEM LEAKY

lma

AHHHHH IM SO FUCKING HORNY AND LONELY YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Sheemd?

the hue is cute

laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame

HEEEM BLEEDY

Based Hill

Ref looks like the child catcher

HEEEEEEEEEEM BOOOOOOOOO

Weak stoppage

Fucking faggot ref

Hill looked based tonight. Nice elbow

Based. I am even jealous a little bit because she has a cool Sub-Zero like scar on her face

based Angie

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I'm glad that roided up chick didn't win

sheem liddy

i put money on the nigger but that seems like a bullshit decision desu

WE GOT TOO COCKY HUEBROS

i actually love watching hill

Mandy Nooners >>>>>>>> Boringtina Shitchenko

BALTIMORE BABY

God i would eat her sweaty ass

ITS NOT FAIR BROS I WAS SUPPOSED TO WIN WITH ROIDS

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that's gonna be a yikes from me dog

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not fair

The game was fucking rigged from the start, cartel trash referee

>dany_meets_francis.webm

>loses
>pops
>overturned to a nc

When I was cleaning the lint out of my couch bed I kneed myself in the brow and got a small cut.

Lads the thought of those big biceps pinning me down and making my dick penetrate her vagina with an oversized clit is making me rock hard.

Thoughts on this updated prospect footage?

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there's not a single good fight in this card

>t. Magomed Magomedov

>snorting coke off hills body while fucking her to hellhammer basting in the background

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fap of the night for me

Weak cut, women can't even do doctor stoppages right

that cuts tiny fuck this "sport"

Jesus Modafferi is fucking disgusting.

The Happy Warrior is the only star of WMMA

Wanda Sykes?

this guy is a better translator than the brazilian

Angie a cutie

>idiots ITT saying "tiny cut"

it was a deep cut, did you not see how much blood was pouring out?

NOOOO you're not allowed to bleed in this melee combat sport, STOP THE FIGHT!!

based

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That fucking horrendous face though. Her voice is grating and horrible too.

Same. She's been pretty exciting lately.

She's very overrated, I don't get how people think she's a 10.

THIS IS AWESOME
CLAPCLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP

THIS IS AWESOME
CLAPCLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP

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>leaf vs taco

Winner gets to emigrate to the US.

That nigress is so cute goddamit

Kyle Nelson reminds me of something

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Nelson looks like a default white character in a video game

hopefully the beaner will send this leaf to a living death

NO!

isnt the bmf stipe miocic though?

thoughts?

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Cringe. The rock is so fake

OMG THE ROCK THATS MY FAVORITE ACTOR!!!!!!1

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What's up with leafs and country music

Angela really is like black Aspen Ladd voice wise, she's so nasty to listen to. Would NOT have sex!

When's the UFC 24/7 belt?

r/oldnews.

Kyle's dad here.

Kek this fucking walkout song

MARCO

How old are you? 1 thousand?

Who else literally just boy'ing the fighters that aren't mexiCANs?

Her voice really is shit though.

Polo getting HEEMD

love her and nina

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ayyyyyy caramba

Post your /heem/fu

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>PARP-PARRP-DI-PARRPPY PARRRPPPP
Where can I buy this music?

Don't know if it's CTE or the fact he's from some bum fuck town near Manchester

this fucking fight night

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Based Brucie. What if there was a mexi vs abo fight on, who'd you support then?

based lmfao

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Abo just because they'd fuck up the post fight interview

Canada and the rural Midwest seem to overlap

HEEEEEEM

58.

next level mind games
karolina or nina

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How the fuck does this fat pig make weight

HOLY SHIT YOU SEE THAT KO?

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rekt

HEEM STANDING

RIP Jason herzog

HEEM

MEXICANS BTFO

Reyes is such a fucking chinlet can

MEXICO BTFO

based canuck

HOLY FUCK

holy fucking shit dude got lit up bad

>this stoppage

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KYLE FUCKING NELSON

Mexico about to riot

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>Heemed so hard he doesn't even know it

>she will never sit on your face

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that was a terrible stoppage, especially in mexico

REFBALL

FUCKING LEAFED

to early though

Good stoppage. Fuck mehico

who is this phallus chalice?

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lmaoooooooo

nigger can barely even stand and he's acting like he's fine

MEXICO ETERNALLY BTFO

Early stoppage

told you

Why're they booing, at least shut the fuck up like the Brazilians

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good stoppage, he wasn't coming back from that.

early stoppage
without joking

crackstreams is shit. anyone else got something better?

she got beat by an off duty cop. that's a yikes from me dog

but real talk that was an early stoppage, just let him go down before you call it

>SYRUPED

Forgot pic

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Good stoppage.
Caz disagrees.

>he looked out on his feet a little bit I guess
Bisping is a fucking retard. Reyes was on the brink of death. He wasn't defending shit

I never thought canadians could be that violent

*RECORD SCRATCH*

*FREEZE FRAME*

"Yep. That's me."

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leaf is about to get his head chopped off by the local cartel

there was only 1 or 2 shots that hit him in the face, the rest were his arms, terrible stoppage

Yes :)

The mexiCAN was out, cazzies GTFO

cable

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THATS MY BOY

naw, they'd more than likely execute the mexican. work up a better one ;)

Carnelossi is a much less explosive and even more static version of Andrade.

well? care to share?

here faggot
*pisses on your disgusting face*
*farts*
*burps*

did you like it little bitch?

it was a good stoppage..but to early cause spics are retarded,so they needed to see him on the ground

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Reyes is the biggest chinlet in the UFC

If a fighter can take down the ref and get to full mount in 10 seconds, he should be able to restart the fight

r*ddit scratch

>Caring about fighter safety
He’s good until he hits the canvas

sportsurge desu. where have you been?

>drops down a weight class so he won’t get hit as hard
>gets heemed

NEWish

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Huh?

did she win that fight ?

this leaf looks like a rat

man this translator is on point

>early

Now nelson can go back and finish off tokyo

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>short hair
na im good

Her head is fucking HUGE wtf

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Not for you fattie

needs a boob job

that was it! couldn't remember the name today. thanks based user

post more wizard

watch.espnplus.com/sports
If you can’t afford 5 bucks a month you should neck yourself.

>implying I would ever post my stream here and ruin it

>all the mexiCANS have lost so far
cool.

Seethe.

THREAD THREAD THREAD THREAD

Sad.

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when did bleach hollows get this based?

Body heemed cerrone

I think this tittle belongs to that finnish dude who alway got slept in fashionate style.

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how can one man be so based

As Long as you dont stay more than a week

shinju “juju” nozawa auclair, the evil sorceress who cursed my dick

thanks bro

the crackstreams chat is fucking hilarious

Women and money ruin everything.

Why are Americans such cucked faggots. Is it a crime to love America there?