Patrick Mahomes is an iPad. Baker Mayfield is a Microsoft Surface

Patrick Mahomes is an iPad. Baker Mayfield is a Microsoft Surface.

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Both zoomer trash?

Lamar Jackson is a Samsung galaxy tab

Now let me shift to this, Samazon Darnold is a thick trunky coastal kid with a midwest ethos about to enter the mogul stage by moving away from home and by staying grounded and avoiding the chaos of the New York media as he seeks stability instead of chaos just like myself since I was a child of divorce

who is the Lenovo ThinkPad?

but ipads are shit

Bill Belichick

Josh Rosen is a Zune. What do you mean, Colin? Well, he's slow, clunky, hard to look at and barely works. Now, who's the iPod? I'll explain after a break

thick trunky warehouse logistics

People forget that before he was an iPhone X Tom Brady was the Motorolla Razr. Totally unknown but then in the early 2000's BANG! All over the place.

>Samazon
Dead

Are you okay man?

That was a great phone. Still wouldn't mind using one.

This analogy was effective.

If he ever gets dementia, this is what it will sound like.

But who is represented by the Nokia 3310?

Remember when he said that men in technology only work on hot pocket delivery systems

>if
That’s already how he sounds now

everytime he tries to make a point he throws out random names as if he knows anything about the sport. I like my QB's who've had a divorce builds character *pause* *start waving finger* Russel Wilson, John Sally, Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs, Pete Rose, Obama.

Naw he still has at least some space between his memes, but when he’s in the old folks home? Just a stream of memes.

>Dak is a Denny's. Reliable. Consistent. Familiar. Is it the best? No... but when you're drunk at 3:00 a.m. you know he's going to be there. You can always count on Denny's. Baker is like the Tex-Mex fusion food truck at your farmer's market. It's a little wild sometimes. The menu is erratic. It can become unorganized. When it's great... it's great. But when it's bad... it's really bad. And that's why I take Dak every single time.

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Eli

Joy Milkers with the moos

>"My daughter, the one I had before the divorce, showed me this weird app called TikTok the other day. And there's this really weird girl everyone's in love with, she lip-syncs to this terrible rap song and does a weird dance and everyone thinks she's the cutest thing ever. Guess what, folks? She isn't. Square jaw, no breasts, no hips, broad shoulders: this is an early-transition tranny if I've ever seen one. And everyone wants this poor guy to be something he's not.
Well, that's the Packers. Everyone wants them to be a good team, but that's not who they are. Mediocre QB play, no defense, struggling against inferior squads: everyone wants the Packers to be a smoking babe, but they're just another trap. Don't be fooled, people.
Joy Taylor with the massive rack"

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>"I've said it before and I'll say it again. Dak Prescott is just Tim Tebow if his father was a nigger."

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> The coaching position is like a good marriage, it works until it stops working. And then one party always wants out.

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joys attitude is kinda ultra hot,

Colin Cowherd is an porta potty at Sturgis: full of shit