/cric/ - pic unrelated edition

they collapsed

what if mmarsh is actually good now and his shitter of a brother was weighing him down all along?

just enjoy the show mate, I'm pleasantly surprised he's been good
only really need to get 20 with the bat to justify himself given the way this series has gone

/cric/ meetup at the japanese mountain retreat this weekend lads
Hope to see you there

>5.15pm in mid-September
>23 overs yet to bowl
Fuck this

>declaration on the first day
You must be retarded

Shit fucking pic, leave it to the aussies to make the threads next time.

buttlers defensive technique is appalling.

>TFW been slagging of MMArsh all day to everyone.

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The ball started moving around massively. Really suspicious.

>tf
>tp

Yeah, what's up with that? Is Australia just bowling slow?

made a good one but he beat me to it

Burns
Sibly
???
Root
Pope
Stokes (c)
Foakes (wk)
???
Archer
???
Broad

These picks seem the be the consensus here. Who do we fill the gaps with?

not seen any of the play today
how bad has it been?

Rod Marsh was holding him back desu

What's up with Butler's voice? Is he gay or just posh?

The over rate was pretty dire in the morning session but it's also the fact that this is the latest ever Test in an English summer and it didn't start until 11am. Poor scheduling.

It’s your classic England bats first to a winning position then one players cops a beauty and four follow quickly after him

who is sibly?

have been using pic related liberally in other boards.

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Too much dew to start earlier than 11 in England ball absolutely hoops around if you start too early

>Stokes (c)
Calm down.

>Archer hype yet again
He played against first class shitters, his averages have been faked

Opener who averages 40 in FC Cricket

see you in the ROMAN baths

Keep Root the captain, Stokes is already holding the team together by a thread and if you give him the captaincy it'll fry his brains
Probably just have to keep Denly at 3, bring back Anderson if he's fit and Wood/Stone/Woakes as the fourth seamer given whoever's fit at the time. Unfortunately you can't really gut the entire team and made it work

England are making a mistake not declaring to get some overs in under these amazing bowling conditions. Could have Australia 5 down before stumps.

reckon we'll lose this by an innings

>Leach out to bat soon
Hoping Smith mimes his shots again tbqh

thanks
t. snapped it

Thank god for England you aren't Joe Root.

Well when it was on Channel 4 they used to start at 10.30. That would have made a big difference. The light is going to fade badly here.

Why does Jofra wear a watch while batting? is his desire to know the time so great?

>made a good one
It's shite lad.

Forgot pic

Why the fuck is Archer wearing a watch? It's touching his glove's sweatband, so it also counts as bat.
Is he sponsored by a watch company or something?

Yes

it's hammer time

He's a nigger

Uh, what the hell
Why isnt picture posting working

Broad has to be captain. Root's batting has been cooked by the pressure.

t. being btfo by an all round shitter

alright lewis

>making a bowler the captain
hello cazzie

Bancroft would gave caught that

Just realised Archer has a tattoo on his arm.
>Paying money for black on black artwork
Can't see shit.

And Paine's retarded decision to bowl first will be hailed as brilliant.

reckon Foakes would make a good captain

it is working but hiro announced that posters without passes don't get to see them
see pic related for more information

Nah lad, just tried before with no text and a picture that said was in but to no avail
Maybe because i am on my mobile, but i am using wifi at the moment

samefag

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*posts hilarious pic of Smoth doing something odd*

new rule: if you're batting first and don't like the score you can replay the innings but with only 10 batsmen

Root can’t be captain anymore we need him back averaging over 50
Stokes seems like the best candidate as the right type of personality and can handle the pressure well. If not Stokes than who? Can’t think of any other senior player who is the right kind of personality

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Tattoos ONLY look good on dark skin. No white person should ever get a tattoo, the contrast is disgusting.

>Bowlers can't be captain, that's just the way it is
You'd fit right in at the ECB with this commitment to orthodoxy. Bowlers have made great captains before.

Stokes is too thick to be captain.

Gotta be Broad or possibly Burns. It'll probably be Buttler though.

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Archer will be in the team for a long time. Would be good to get a long term captain in the spot. He also wouldn't bowl himself into the ground.

Broad doesn’t seem like the captain type, and I wouldn’t even have Buttler in my team. Burns then? Maybe, has he ever captained Surrey?

why can't aussies catch balls?

too much effort went into this

Burns' and Buttler's places in the team are too insecure. Broad is the only answer

>wagies getting home

reckon we'll bowl australia out for around 80 nothing to worry about

He does captain Surrey yes

broad gets injured all the time

Newer rule: if you're bowled out for

Inevitable

fookin archer i thought he gonna average 25 in tests

We haven't found a competent opener in over 10 years you really think Burns' is liable to be dropped anytime soon kek

Listen to yourself, you're saying the captaincy is effecting Root's batting and he should drop it
The effects on Stokes would be worse because he's expected to perform with bat and ball, I think the effort required to captain would push him overboard
>If not Stokes than who?
that's the problem, there isn't a better candidate. Buttler is the only one with experience afaik

New rule:
Buttler and Bairstow should never be allowed to play for England again

Burns is pretty safe given he can actually average 40+ opening. Maybe he’s the answer

Rioli lol

N

bring back cook

not even memeing

Captaincy: give it Leach

bye sleepy jo

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Fans would support that.

this is why tim paine inserted england
because he knew it would be at most a day's bowling. even if you bowl badly england will find ways to get out

bring back strauss
bring back trescothick

He's honestly good for it but seems like he's suffering PTSD or something

Lots of starts in the scorecard. Is it a difficult pitch to stay in on?

how about instead of worrying about who to make captain and who to drop etc, just abolish english cricket. let it die. cease participating in international cricket

>Broad still at 11
I HURT MYSELF TODAY

maybe he just needed a bit of a break, can't be significantly worse than denly

Next England coach has to be someone who knows the county system rather than entirely relying on the advice of others.

Most of the England batsmen got a score higher than their average so it's probably a par 700 pitch

Nah we are shit sorry

Depends if your name is Steve Smith or not

Broad could also be a sneaky chance.

no mate, we're just shit

This image is quite humorous. I especially enjoy the part at the end where Joe Root - the current captain of England's test cricket team - appears to be holding the penis of Jofra Archer - Joe Root's house slave.

Reminder that today featured the highest opening partnership of the entire series

Reckon every time we lose we should change the names around and make it the Wales and England cricket board

nah he sounds really over it, read an interview of his recently and he was moaning about the stress you're put under. Also was saying there should be less test cricket and he went to congratulate the team after Headingley but didn't want to "overstay his welcome", just felt weird and beta

Reckon Glamorgan are hoarding a treasure trove of openers

Cook was always a beta who should never have been made captain. You can just tell he only accepted the captaincy because it was expected of him for some reason. England's 'just give the captaincy to the best batsman lol' doctrine at its worst.

>nah he sounds really over it, read an interview of his recently and he was moaning about the stress you're put under.

as a captain or just as a player?

Wouldn’t mind Broad (c) Burns (vc) with major tactical decisions being made by committee with Root and Jimmy. Burns can take over when Broad retires

Why don't they just start at 10:30 so they can actually fit the overs in?

fuck this gay sport

Still laugh everytime they bat Archer ahead of Leach, does anyone actually think Archer will hang around for awhile

>major tactical decisions being made by committee with Root and Jimmy.
how about a committee with just Jimmy.

THWACK

wtf....

DLF MAXIMUM

WALLOP

>Just hit a 6

Root is a good reviewer and his fields aren’t terrible it’s just when he’s left alone that he reverts to his cowardly ways.
He still has a role to play in the leadership set up for me

Why don't the English batsmen just do that every ball?

W
A
L
L
O
P

>buttler just memeslogging

based natural game player

Buttler just cemented his place in the team for another 2 series

>Crowd cheering meme-slogging.
This is what limited over cricket has done to casuals

and that's why they call it the big brain bash

Don't cheer 6s you casuals reeeee!!

Rolf Harris is innocent.

why doesn't he just hit it for 6 every ball

Hardly like they're going mental over it, lighten up mate

hazelwood is seething

Sacking Root as captain and also excluding him from the circle of senior players would really wreck his confidence, although it would be quite funny.

This, it's only worth cheering if it's over 100m.

>Bowl yorkers every ball
>Hit 6s all the time
There, I just solved cricket.

I wouldnt be cheering if I was at the stadium. I would be shaking my head in disgust at every maximum

Just want Leach to get a six

I want him to get a hundred
why set your hopes so low

>Been on the piss all day
>Shocking collapse by England
>Buttler starts bishing it trying to make some sort of score
AGHHHHHH STOP CHEERING YOU CASUALS REEEEEEEE

wtf is buttler doing?

>not a hundred of sixes

are you even trying?

This is the correct response, all sixes hit in test cricket should be met with scorn.

He's batting with the tail, of course he's slogging.

>not a hundred sixes in a row
Keep the faith pal

Nice 5-fer lolololol

Business idea: expanded wickets that, if struck, instead of getting the batsman out, award the bowling side with bonus runs

Don't think he'd keep his place in the side if he averaged 6

aussie scum timewasting so they don't have to bat tonight

Good, gone, fuck off, bye

Business idea: allow the batting side to place fielders outside the circle to disrupt the fielding team

New to this sport, how can England be playing poorly if they just got an Aussie out

do you know indoor cricket?

No.

>cramp after 17 overs

>Encouraging slogging
This is why England won't have the ashes for 20 years

>Hazlewood to Buttler, SIX runs, yee-har, Beast Mode is a go-go!

>Back in 2007, a 17-year-old Aussie signed for a village cricket team in Cheshire: Grappenhall CC.
>He arrived on a Tuesday but by the Friday, before a training session had even been held, he was already on his way home. The teenage cricketer had been so appalled by the boorish, drunken antics of his would-be teammates in their local, the Mulberry Tree, that he left.
>It's a shame because, as the son of a UK passport holder, if things had worked out there he could have gone on to play for England.
>As it was, Steve Smith opted for Australia.

Our drinking culture went against us, lads

THE SHIPPING FORECAST

HA HA HA

jim maxwell always says it like that
seems to enjoy it

THEY'RE IN PERIL ON THE SEAS!

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baby's first radio test

we're going for

>Series Drawn (England win via boundaries scored)

Good thing he went to tee-total Australia.

Because Aus bowlers have gotten more Eng batsmanman out then Eng batsmanman have Aus bowlers

>australian appalled by lairy drinking culture
jesus christ, he really is an autist isnt he

Marsh is bowling quite well

>It's a shame because, as the son of a UK passport holder, if things had worked out there he could have gone on to play for England.
lmao absolute delusion if the English actually think he would've wanted to play for England

love matty wade in a sledging fielding position

I heard they were seen mocking the vision impaired.

It's spelled lary

wanted some buttler fireworks but leach keeps hogging the strike

They really shouldn't try to bowl them out and make our shithouse batsman open under the lights

>leach farming the strike

love this game

Did they actually just quote the "he's a janitor on the internet" pasta.

didnt know this

>not wanting some Broad to Warner kino

*wastes the old ball memeslogging until the new ball comes*

fuck off leach

...

NEED Jack Leach batting at No.9 lads.

We need him opening

Imagine our middle order with Leach’s forward defence

kino actually means short film in german so yeah it would be very kino

leach should have a go at opening literally couldn't do any harm whatsoever

he averages 92 opening the batting in tests.

leach averages 90+ opening in tests

no wait im wrong, he did it once before and only averages 46

As a bald man and glasses wearer, Leach gives me confidence.

you know remember when Leach won a motm for his batting and only bowled like four overs total in the match

hmmm

Then he will be pressured to be the next allrounder, which means Englol will be stuck with another M Ali.

was it in sri lanka?

Ump not even trying to hide the fact that he's collaborating with England

Weird how he’s not a bad looking bloke but looks so odd when he’s out in the middle

I do think Leach could work 6th, not for points but he just looks so much more relaxed and confident than pretty much any of our other batsmen. Throw him on then to burn overs.

take off your vpn

It's a Welshy, he played his hand here

So how many runs can Smith make in 2.5 days of batting? A triple is on if he gets the support. Will Paine declare on 334?

William Paine (June 5, 1750 – April 19, 1833) was a physician and political figure in New Brunswick m8

It's likely Smith would run out of partners before making 300.

>Can't stand English posters when I'm sober.
Fuck you, English posters.

You’ve no way of proving anyone here is English mate

You can be so cruel when you're sober.

every UK flag in /cric/ is an indian/paki

Genuinely am curious how many of the UK flags are brown

I'm not taking any chances, cunt.
Luv u

cant stand Yea Forums when im sober desu

fuck i imagine you're all whitey but really half are atleast khans

I'll have you know I'm a proud paddy

Leach has lasted 10 overs (and probably no more with the jinx of this post), I mean he's a meme but he's a worthwhile meme.

>uppish
would like this term eliminated from all cricket commentary

>natural hitter of the ball
>completely misses 90% of them

yikes

Not a fan of racism me
Many brown people and black people are very sound
Almost like it varies person to person

for me, it's 'dabbed'

Only just realised that hill at the bottom of the aus cricket logo is a cricket ball

based nordie cricket enthusiast

For me it’s the based 4channel whether I’m sober or drunk.

Dangerously close to uppity
It would be bleeped out in the US broadcast

So why is play scheduled to end at 6.30 when it's being going on to 7-7-30 in previous Tests? And with 8 overs being lost to shit over rates? This is some gay shit.

nights are drawing in now lad
get your pumpkins out

:]

believing in disproven pseudoscience and then attempting to deliberately applying it to objective reality is pretty foolish on a few levels

>get your pumpkins out
wahey

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*measures your skull*
*chuckles ruefully*

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Was that overall a good day or not? I mean everyone seems really deflated but they didn't embarrass themselves did they?

Yeah
Big fan of edgy humour that would be considered racist in polite society but understood as a joke on Yea Forums
Not a fan of unironic white supremacists shitting up every board with their shite

There's like a million hours of sunlight left

terrible. 370 par at least.

Buttler should hang around so Leach can get his century

Wtf I hate Brexit now.

STUMPS!

>they didn't embarrass themselves
kek
KEK
K E K

*ignores the will of the people*

Real sebbo hours lads

In the context of the series: it was a good day
In the context of cricket: it wasn't a very good day

>It’s a England scrape 300 runs first innings after being in absolute control cruising for 400+ episode

exactly
y-yes

Really dont get whats happening. Good teams should really be posting a 350 minimum on the first day. 300 absolute limit. Disgrace.

Glenn McGrath confirmed man of the sauce and true fighting pear.

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>Good teams
hehe

Agreed user, Australia are simply not bowling enough overs they should be ashamed of themselves.

Dunno too much about the sport really so likely to be wrong, but I reckon it could be finding the balance between of white ball & red ball cricket is fucking their mentalities.
Like loads have been saying, most of them have been playing ODI all series - trying for every ball - then test 5 it finally sinks in to just relax, 'you've got all day', and it goes to the other extreme of hardly going for the ball with any commitment.

dont know why I keep eating spicy food
the return journey is just too painful and not worth it. mouth pain I enjoy but arsehole pain, no

No user, this is a fair comment. There's a bit of this to it, also Australian bowling was solid today once Root got out.
Usually England will become introverted after a loss, don't forget that sometimes the opposition is simply a little bit better or a little bit luckier.

Yeah I thought the Aussies were really good after the first few wickets, it's a minor miracle the team lasted the day in that context.

this is a complete fucking myth
how is spice from your food going to survive digestion

>Letting Shitch Marsh get a 4fer
Fucking hell Englel

well I dont know but it does. it's not a myth when it happens every time without fail is it

Usually it's because dodgy eateries are using extreme spice to disguise meat that's past its use by date. So you're shitting your brains out because of the rank meat, not the spice.

Have you never had a curry m8? Even when you don't have diarrhoea the stuff stings your anus on the way out.

I simply don't believe this. I know from a lifetime of eating spicy food whether it's curries, crisps or homemade stuff that it hurts on the way out as well

youtube.com/watch?v=DywwOoipmoQ

what a pathetic title
it should be England Again Throw Away Decent Start, Late Slogging Disguises Total Failure

It's because you have worms lad.

Plenty of things survive your stomach acid... what are the molecules that make up your shit or the proteins you absorb into your body... what makes your arse burn is a single molecule called capsaicin

As someone who somewhat enjoys occasionally nibbling on chillis, in telling you that chillis make you shit your guts and your arse sting all on their own.

m8 if you put too much chilli into homemade stuff it'll come out strong

I used to literally get burn while pissing if I put heavy spice into something (probably because I drank with my meal)

'ate futbol
luv criket

simple as

chicken korma
peshwari naan
onion bhaji
pilau rice

won't try anything else, I know what I like

bland and basic

get a grip

>onion bhaji

my man

Based Darsh

Youll like pasanda. creamy and nutty like the korma. no heat. another personal favourite youll like... butter chicken. wonderful and rich.

Butter chicken

simple as

king prawn dhansak/or a lamb vindaloo depending on my mood

didn't ask

butter chicken is just chicken tikka massala which i stopped ordering when i was 8 years old

>peshwari
>basic
what did user mean by this?

ungrateful little shit.

I do like pasanda

dont want to diss the indians because at least they play cricket but I much prefer a chinese

not that I don't enjoy a curry as well

Well you can redeem yourself, do you - as all normal people do - prefer an Indian curry to a Chinese one?

>peshwari naan
>available literally everywhere as a standard choice

I find the rice is really crap at most indians, puts me off them

Would like to submit a humble motion that this becomes required reading for anyone who has the audacity to post on /cric/

>Homegrown talent: Worcestershire's not-so-secret sauce
espncricinfo.com/story/_/id/24463472/worcestershire-not-secret-sauce

Nothing more refreshing in the morning than a forced /cric/ gimmick.

trololololol

Do they have Chinese takeaways in India

yes, gobhi manchurians, chowmein my fav

Good to hear

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wtf i just saw steve smith buying sandpaper in B&Q

basmati rice are indeed the best rice

They call this thing a sebbo where I’m from

oh yes

toil on the morrow

uno how they say chinese nd indian takeaways r different to how food is in the original country? well i wonder wt english takeaway wd be like then

toil then bottley then fish n chips then drinks then footy then more drinks the cricky lads.
Friday. big fan.

in Hong Kong at least they have greasy spoons that are odd mix of outdated British food mixed with Asian food, like bacon grill with noodles or french toast with lots of onions sauce etc.

soi sauce*

meme
plenty of things on chinese and indian menus that youd find all over india

*and china

umm not chicken tika masala. and im sure its not all shit people eat everyday. my parents went china and agree

Well they are massive countries where the diet varies hugely within the country, we just pick and chose the things we liked. Brits aren't going to be sucking down szechuan pigs trotters and spicy fried cockroaches

good chinese is better than indian but good chinese restaurants in england are very rare and theres loads of good indians

Never got why we find insects disgusting. we eat like prawns and shit. even get people fishing for crayfish in my local polluted canals. bit of pike too.

My roflcopter goes

superb chinese less than 5 minutes walk from me
dread to think how much of my money they have

We're fortunate we've never really had to go through apocalyptic famines like the Chinese have on such a consistent basis. There's a saying that the "Chinese will eat anything that has more than two legs and shows its back to god" as a result a diet influenced by famines. I'm sure the new middle class of China look down on people eating bugs and offal these days.

over here lads!

That's interesting to know. Can't really fathom that.

''no''

Thanks Bard, am ready this now

Based sebbo

el bard simplson jajaja

I like the bit where the disproven pseudoscience from the 30's is definitely 100% true, but the modern genetic research proving the opposite is part of the Jewish conspiracy

Good man, hope you found it illuminating

Fuck Australians. They are the worst of the Anglo world

There's absolutely zero possibility that you are French

>If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.

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Can you imagine a real Frenchie talking to an Australian? Because I can't. I'm really trying and I cannot imagine it.

reaffirmed my decision to throw my lot in with your lot vis a vis bandwagoning an English county.

Truly based and saucepilled

All I know about australo-franco relations is that there's a lot of aussies buried over there and they bond over drinking and rugby

Oh yeah that's true, they both like rugby.

>listen very carefully Bruce, you must not call ze gestapo a 'German cunt' or threaten to glass heem. Dees will blow your cover for sure

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>having to pay for sky sports AND a tv licence

This is really doing a number on me now because even in the mad, pun-obsessed world of Allo Allo I cannot imagine an Aussie walking about.

funnier than it deserves :^)

Business idea: 'allo 'allo remake but with more australians

based

It's happened mate
youtube.com/watch?v=yILxqnVWOXs

Not really a pavement is it

Vastly prefer Pavement to.
Tool.
They didn't deserve to be in the same sentence, even.

The Daily Telegraph said of Australia that, "nothing of interest comes from there except gold nuggets and black cricketers".

so tell me user why did chinese starve so much?

went out for a cigarette and had another chuckle about this

I DON'T LIKE CRICKET

oh no

I /SEBGANG/ IT

They've always had a massive population which means overworking the landed and using up more fresh water. They had cities with millions of people when the biggest European cities only had maybe 10,000 or so.

overworking the land*

lots of devastating flooding throughout history as well
they'd just repopulate the floodplain every time though and grow dependent on the grain from there

China has always been the most incompetently governed country. Blame Confucius for telling everyone obedience is the highest virtue, it ends up with people accepting idiocy on the grounds that it can't actually be a mistake because the authorities have approved it

When the Aussies wake up, they're going to go back over every single post and reply to them with hangover-induced insults so weigh up your posts carefully

>we cannot get out. The end comes soon. We hear shitposting, shitposting in the deep. They are coming

I'm a Kiwi on holiday and I do not like Australia, in fact I think it is rubbish.

>Kiwi on holiday
proxy off sebbo

>Blame Confucius for telling everyone obedience is the highest virtue
actually user, i'm reasonably sure the master said that education was the highest virtue

youtube.com/watch?v=gUZ181YLl9o

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based

what is it with south asians and the enternal, cheap looking crisp cotton pink shirt

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They are dressed by their mothers, and when they get married they are dressed by their wives

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They're paedophiles.

Unironically based

theres actually quite a lot of french people here.
Its kind of the final frontier and we have less baggage than you or Americans. Upper middle euros love this shit.

reckon they'll enjoy the classy allo allo post desu, and my calling out of the fake frog

Morning lads, much love to you all and hope you're having a wonderful day so far

hlw

my dear bros

Ripping day of ashes test cricket looms gents

le trolefaec pepe!!

There comes a time. When we hear a certain call. When the world must come together as one.

Under the Union Jack

the call of the R A J I B V L L

There are hoc threads trying
While cric gods bant away
And give to sp
The greatest memes of aalllll

What do we think lads?

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Funny that with the exception of buttler (my personal choice as wk bat) this is the statistically optimal choice of line up. 6 or 7 englishmen vs 4 or 5 australians. Really shows how steve smith has been carrying that australian team along with 1 or 2 of your paceboys.. Jesus. Shambles of an ashes isnt it.

>Root
hahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

a champion team will always beat a team of champions

>the virgin /cric/
>the chad S E B B V L L

would have a review mate

this is not the real mitchell marsh

wt u talking about. these are literally the statistically best options you can take. england has the two best openers in the ashes. stupid fucks. Like i said only buttler was my personal choice. England had more better performers than australia SIMPLE AS. Australia been carried by Smith.
Disagree then go try make your own on the website.

Why are England so shit lads?

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I got my own problems, missus has decided now is the time to watch baby and cat video compilations in bed with the sound on with her commentary and fucking wants to show me every third vid. All I want to do is watch the nfl until I fall asleep.

Stats aren't everything, you need heart, soul and tactical nuance in the team too. Tim the galaxy brain Paine was a vital component to Australia's victory.

Lot of anger in here lads. Would appreciate it being toned down a notch and discussed in a civil and gentlemanly manner.

laughed out loud when i woke up to look at the scorecard and root was out for 57

Me too, but probably for the opposite reason to you

le 50 and out man rides again

Yeah like he should've been out 3 times before then but the ball was dropped, it was probably his hardest-won le 50 and out ever - but it really did crumble entirely once he hit that mark.

it was a pretty fucking good ball again to be fair though

The bowling unit has been really good as well.
Cummins is a God, Hazelwood has been good, marnus is a star in the making, they've all had their moments besides aussie openers who are shit.
>butler is my choice
Absolute meme who has only played well when it doesn't matter, stokes has singlehandedly tried to lift your team the whole series, he has incredible belief.
Besides broad, archer at times and burns the rest of England has been absolute shit and considering a quarter of the aussie team has come back from long suspensions, in England joining an unsettled lineup of new players and a fairly new captain making questionable calls, it's not hard to say your whole team has played like shit in a series they should have easily won.
Cazzie

same, last night as soon as he came to bat people were posting like
>54 (115)
and it happened again

top yourself

If anybody ad to score im glad its buttler, hes looked like he's wanted to neck more and more over the series

Thinking buttler is really bear grylls
>bear grylls head
>knows how to survive
>bit cheeky

what the fuck is it with the english and their retarded cricketer names?

>10am
>talking about cricket

virgins

>guzzles his own piss
checks out

hey look its england and Joe, joe, jos, Jack, Jofra and Jonny

Wouldn't you like to know Sebbers

Jofra B. Goode

>championship points
That national cope lmao

virgins

>why yes, i am saving myself for marriage. how could you tell?

Attached: 1554257475712.jpg (832x1000, 47K)

virgin

Here lad. Would unironically sit down with you for a chat, just listen to you let it all out. Maybe a hug no homo.
People need people

Would love to shag Josh

>tfw went to sleep before poot got out

wtf u talking about you mong..englands line up is just as if not more unsettled than australias.

well then he can be replaced by Buttler. 6-5 SIMPLE AS

same
not a bumder so i wouldn't let him fuck me but wouldn't mind sticking one down his shoot

I've stuck my peepee in exactly 2 women and I was a much happier person when I was a virgin.

I'm loaded.

Attached: Screenshot_20190913-102345_Gmail.jpg (1436x2699, 573K)

strawpoll.me/18632757
>strawpoll.me/18632757
strawpoll.me/18632757

Poot displaying khawaja like form as his career comes to its inevitable drawn out end

never played the lottery

Cope caz

won the primary school raffle in year 5, accepted it was the peak of my life

>plays lotto
>doesnt take my tips that usually win
based retard

democracy has spoken, bend over

Attached: spread.png (946x311, 22K)

fancy moving to australia but don't want to leave my dog alone to die without me haha

>steadily increasing value
reminds me of the time we busted the seething kiwi tampering with a sebbo poll

Love the loyalty mate. 10k will get your pooch here

how about mine? i have six.

Emigrate

>earlycunt
shan't
>not recycling
shan't

reckon I thought the limit was 400

Don't know, know its roughly 10k to get a dog moved here.
>tfw let Asians in with weird flus and disease walk straight in but charge 10k for based doggos

She just turned 11 and is a rescue dog, couldn't put her through your barbaric quarantine system

does being a lawyer make it easier?

you're wrong and you've brought the entire wrath of the janny down n this general so i hope you're happy

Bless you mate
Seb is the sibling that most anons pretend to hate but at the end of the day is cric family. Always welcome

>strawpoll.me/18632874
strawpoll.me/18632874
>strawpoll.me/18632874
strawpoll.me/18632874

tabla
stuck in bed with a bad back rn so could use some prayers
overexerted myself in the garden the other day

you forgot murder

nobody wants that

you dont get to decide

shut up and commit seppoku as has been ordained

you better watch yourself boy

Started Detectorists season 3, been putting it off for awhile as it's the last season, probably the best show the BBC has broadcast this decade

youtube.com/watch?v=1hFadNEITqY

Attached: detectors.jpg (1600x1200, 432K)

its a good comfy show. has its funny moments. the only thing that irks me is how that little gnome fella got that decent looking woman.

>pootectorists
that's a cringe from me dawg

s3e1 has a very kino ending

youtube.com/watch?v=C6gSYHJhuCw

Attached: 69f.jpg (354x286, 15K)

how about the one when he found that roman coin and the bird took it. why would you leave it in the ground while you go and get your mate. WHY.

they always do it, at the end of season 1 they were only a few meters away from a saxon burial ship and then decide to call it a day

why didn't they get through the overs?

playing for the draw

too many fast bowlers

these past couple of days have been a test. all those times seething freshies would say josh reynolds isnt relevant and such and yet did you see how many times yesterday people were saying things like "does this cunt even know how josh reynolds posts". and all that hysteria around whether or not this is the original josh reynolds or not.

just goes to prove that yes, i am relevant. i always have been relevant. and it makes you angry. maybe more angry now than ever. and that pleases me lmao.

>just goes to prove that yes, i am relevant. i always have been relevant. and it makes you angry. maybe more angry now than ever. and that pleases me lmao.

Attached: ƃud˙60ǝ.png (645x729, 61K)

*be's based*

comfy lunch in the sun, really don't want to go back to work lads, might just walk back to the office, grab my shit and never return

BASED fucking Sebastião

convinced that aliens have visited earth

fired up my proxy lads

hope smoth gets a triple hundred

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based seb always going in to bat for cric in non cric threads

Freshcunt here. Would appreciate a brief history of Sebbo and /cric/.
Who is he? (I'm getting he is an ex Australian living in the US working as a lawyer)
How did he come to prominence?
Why do you all hate him so much?
tia

Always rated M Marsh's bowling, just hated that they always want him to be an all rounder
He would be an elite bowlers of he could focus on it 100%
So in short, shan't be hoping M Marsh scores any runs

fuck off mate.

mate fuck off.

He came to prominence thanks to his enormous girth that rivals jupiter
100% american and 100% not a lawyer
He uses a multitude of proxies to talk to himself and whatnot

Can't stand earlycunts.
Shall be making a thread at 500 and expect the lads to post in it.

shan.t

don't be a fool.

k

From what I gather only a few oldfags really know and the rest of you don't want to seem like freshcunts so pretend you know the answer to these questions.

the more fuckwits like to talk about him in here, the more insufferable he becomes, so again, fuck off.

Elite Scorecard coming through
Warner 41 (50)
Harris 7 (32)
Labuschangne 156 (287)
Smith 34 (89)
Wade 67 (98)
M Marsh 3 (8)
Paine 20 (33)
Cummins 45 (41)
Siddle 31 (28)
Lyon 12 (19)
Hazlewood 3* (17)

wonder if skatelad still posts here

>10k for a dog

Reckon I'd rather put 'em to sleep

shitspouter LARP.

Hope Warner gets a duck.

Miss /cric/ of 8 years ago
Miss Zerog00se
Miss Convict
Just miss the good old days

is lawncuck at least real or just another shitspouter poosona

espncricinfo.com/story/_/id/27601506/yeah-most-australia-hate-mitchell-marsh-latest-comeback
Based Marshy knows the hate and thrives of it
>"Yeah, most of Australia hate me," he said with amusing resignation. "Australians are very passionate, they love their cricket, they want people to do well. There's no doubt I've had a lot of opportunity at Test level and I haven't quite nailed it, but hopefully they can respect me for the fact I keep coming back and I love playing for Australia, I love the baggy green cap and I'll keep trying and hopefully I'll win them over one day."

I'm real, but prefer lawnGOD.

Attached: 20181130_160258.jpg (1700x2854, 3.97M)

what about boatcuck

pretty funny that you have cuckaburra stumps. why not get kiwi stumps? also at least take a new pic of your lawn.

reply back so i know you got this message

hey

EH

its josh. just wondering if you got my last message.

take a new pic of your lawn with you naked sitting on your superior aussie cuckaburra stumps

sailcunt is real.

TWICE

why do we never see new pics of lawncunts lawn or sailcucks boat

>this thread

Attached: 20190913_145207.png (683x910, 251K)

pov joi kino

Bangers and Zim Zams are playing a T20 tonight lads
Should be a good game

WTF I LOVE SUBHUMAN COLOURED TERRORIST SYMPATHIZING FRAUD CRICKETER NOW

Needs a mow.

Attached: 20190913_165241-1080x1920.jpg (1080x1920, 1.23M)

based blanktrip

comfy

Now apologise.

xev looms

>get myself off the booze
>if I wake up in the middle of the night I can't get back to sleep anymore

Anyone had this

Get some proper paine meds from your doctor and take one when it happens
No issue then

>making myself reliant on medication to sleep

Shan't be doing this

you'll come right. stick with it m8.

Hmm...

Attached: Screenshot_20190913-152848_Gallery.jpg (1412x653, 452K)

overwhelming sense of doom looms

Any thoughts lads?

Bit suicidal
Had a brother kill himself eariler in the year and had to deal with my mums grief which is understandable
And now my grandmother has passed away and got to deal with my mum again
Just over it all at the moment. Just want to fall asleeo and never wake up

what does it mean when your sister says she is going out tonight and hopes she wont have to make her own breakfast tomorrow morning

It means that she hopes there is plenty of left overs from the dinner she and her friends had the night previously

turns out ive been biceps curls wrong all these years

Bibimbap for dinner lads.

chinese for dinner
and chinese for dinner as well

pseudo rich peoples food for dinner tonight lads

She's suggesting you make her breakfast mate.

/cric/minder not to support earlycunt threads lads.

I get baked and take high-potency magnesium before sleeping when I have insomnia and it usually works well

Don't worry lad, we will be using this thread after this reaches bump limit
Not an early thread just a spare from yesterday

earlycunt.

Attached: wikihow-sleep-or-take-.png (500x399, 126K)

Not early you idiot
Posting the thread that has been up since yesterday so idiots dont make another one
Now reply to this post so we reach bump limit quickly

chaser absolutely shitting the bed lads

Shan't.

new

autism

Shall.

Now an idiot makes another thread even though we already have one that has been up for houra

>the virgin peewee thread
>the chad godstralian thread
wonder which one of these are a SHALL

>validating freshie earlycunts
simply shall not.

lets get this badboy to 1000

>not knowing an early freshie cunt
Shan't ever be giving you a (You)
The M Marsh thread was up since yesterday and should be used first you dumbcunt
The whole point of posting the thread link is so idiots like you don't make another thread