/hoc/

Finna dab on some /cric/ cucks

whenever /hoc/ discusses the, dare I say it, based golden knights, it's not with a tone of contempt as when speaking of other such inferior teams such as anaheim, carolina, and the white trash shithole known as arizona, but a tone of reverence, for this is a team that has captured the hearts and the minds of the people in a way that makes forever seething wastelands such as edmonton and minnesota boil with the rage of one thousand suns melting one thousand sunbelt ice hockey rinks, stay mad losers and go knights

golden knights more like golden showers lol

actually fuck the knights

>silver peons window already closed
lmao that was quick

HOLY shit this is based

AY GOLDEN KNOIGHTS COME TAKE A SNIFF

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>silver
You mean rusty.

has hoc ever been as shook as they are at this very moment?

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This is not the post.

based

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Are those fucking trannies WTF

Can you stop posting pictures of my girlfriend, I already asked you to stop in the last thread

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"no"

>trade your best player to carolina

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is that taytays favourite way to get fucked

>I asked you politely to stop
This is why canadian foreign policy fails every time.

who?

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golden pens autist. tell us about your life

He's a yinzer, you don't need to know more.

was being held back because of gallant's finnophobia

hes probably a stoolers fan too

yinzers are many things but usually exclusively loyal. this is an unusual case study

fuck im already getting bored of classic and there are still 3 more weeks until hokkei

Me too. What level are you? I'm 34.

Same

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*deep breathe in*
*sigh*
Pittsburgh fans are all faggots

41. every zone is so overcrowded. even grouping up takes forever to do anything.

>he fell for the wow meme

Ooh wow. Gonna be nuts that hockey back soon. Then soon aftr that eggnog back

Think about this. Like Winnipeg Jets vs the Sudan national team. Jets just destroy a entire nation

Think about this. Winnipeg Manitoba is a fucking frozen wasteland.

should have named my wow char nallepuh

should've named my wow char bulju

*sips*

Its still plus 16 outside some days

it gets dark by like 8pm now

>his eyes
>the optimism
>gone

I don't know. I gotta be honest with you I NEVER know the weather. When I go outside and it's raining. SO MAD

Time change blah blah blah. Figure it out

Good morgen norge

for me it's zelina vega

God morgen kompis.

They're basically all trannies at this point. Only one that's wife material has a small butt, and tiny titties, but I'm okay with that.

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Laughing at the idea of a chinaman joining the NHL and peddling fentanyl to his teammates

going to make chili again tomorrow but with a few improvements

Gotta wake up in 6 hours

there are 7 billion people on this planet and yet, not a single soul asked.

wjen the fuck does training camp start

Who does hockey start???

sunday

youtube.com/watch?v=wRRsXxE1KVY

That's some GOOD coffee right there.

found the official youtube channel of the russian womens hockey league. all their games are 1080p60fps. tons of qt's playing including anna prugova who is smoking hot

youtube.com/channel/UCQLLGcWaRpSjGd8g31HfZoA

forgot link

R.I.P.

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this is my post

chambers must be in heaven

as are me

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R.I.P.

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watching into the spiderverse lads
it's pretty cool desu

Just took 2.5 hr nap

>it’s another rags try to jumpstart their rebuild and buy themselves a playoff spot

hmmmm I wonder how this one ends up, lads

huomenta but the opposite.

Hockey is so fuckin gay dues can't wait to fuckin live my life based around it fuck every fuckin summer I trick myself into thinking I don't love hockey but FUCK I love this shit

Love all Canadian, American, finish, and Swedish hockey posters. Exited for another season. Looking forward to it massively. Love you bros.

VERY EXCITED

very grim thread

*sets Canada up for an open net*

*takes a penalty by grabbing canada by the balls*

finland always playing dirty

based

Cool runnins, ya mon

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HATE rfa's
HATE gm's

If 9/11 was a grill she could be doing porn now.

Sips and beavs. The true paradise

thinking about benis

exactly what i was thinking

we're like twins

*sips on benis*

Haha! Had no idea that Jamaica has hokki. Bet my local midget AAA team would r.i.p them tho'

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Are preseason games shown on local channels usually available on nhl.tv out of market?

real sipping hours

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hockey

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I keep thinking those are Calgary inferno players. Turns out it's just 2 lesbians lmao

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*crunches new zealand into the boards*

this is a level of obsession with a woman that has transcended borders

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anybody else watch cabin boomer? his videos give me peace and make me feel like my future doesnt have to be so grim

youtu.be/FgAwrG8btIo
youtu.be/FgAwrG8btIo

4 days until hockey lads

Prove me wrong

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based retard

you must be 18+ to post on Yea Forums

>18
>advanced mathematics

Sorry lad I’m 21 this is a college math course you literally cannot take until you’re done with calf 3

>calf 3

>he hasn’t taken calf 3

look at this absolute imaginary unit

>derivatives
>advanced mathematics
kek

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9/11

the day finland became a superpower?

If a jersey doesn't have striping around the waist, it is objectively trash.

youtube.com/watch?v=TUa4wO6MoIU

Horizontal stripes are shit and make you look fat

Happy 9/11 (11/9) my american frens

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They only make you look fatter if you're already fat, ya fatty fat fat fat idiot.

BULJU NO!

youtube.com/watch?v=8semdd0ZTko

Based bulju

>t. Fatty who wears stripes

thinking about >finnish goaltending

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I'd shot on her gaping 5 hole if you know what I'm saying

>shot

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i want a finnish gf to whisper sweet incomprehensible nothings in my ear

i've seen too many finnish memes to not understand some of their strange tongue

what are norge memes like?

hey /hoc/
D I L A T E
and
I N C U B A T E

bbc.com/news/health-49646907
warm regards,
/cric/

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ip ip *aaah*
youtube.com/watch?v=GmIoZxdwLTY

i must not be nordic enough to understand what is going on here

I get plenty from your mom every night lad

Clearly not, Pajeet

we dont really have anything like the finns have, but here's something from NRK i guess
"heng deg" just means "hang youself"

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how about instead of being rude, you give your take

Not trying to be racist, but I don't want the niggerfication/homosexualization of the sport they've been pushing. I like hockey, not the drama that foosball has become or basketball.

>rags unironically trust a russian where they spent 1/8th of their cap on to finish their “rebuild”
Tell me this isn’t gonna go horribly wrong

Need more meme tendies this year.

What's your favorite hockey jersey guys?

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panbread is in his prime and will be there for another 5 or so years

ayy lmao

Liquor keeps you warm

Wtf I thought Norges were happy

Norge is inspirational

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Thats a fucking ugly Jersey. I didn't even know Tucson had a minor league team.

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Yes, the one you posted is quite hideous

hey what up fellow caniacs
noticed that no one mentioned the latest updates on the faulk rumors
let's fix that

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I'm conflicted, I was born in Phoenix watched the IHL Roadrunners growing up. I lived in Tucson for a few years and moved back to Phoenix and watched the the ECHL Roadrunners. I'm glad they're doing good and the fans embraced it. but FUCK TUCSON! FUCK YOU FOR CHNAGING ROCKY'S GODDAMN NAME TO DUSTY YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS!

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CALL THE
*clap* *clap*
MOUNTIES
*clap* *clap*

CALL
THE
MOUN-TIES
>*clap clap clapclapclap*

>*honk honk honk*
CALL THE COPS
>*honk honk honk*
CALL THE COPS

MOUNT THE COLLIES
*CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

FUCK
YOUR
COUS-IN
>*clap clap clapclapclap*

HE'S
A
PE-DO
>*clap clap clapclapclap*

YOU'RE
JUST
AS BAD
>*clap clap clapclapclap*

CALL
THE
MOUN-TIES
>*clap clap clapclapclap*

PIECE
OF
SHII-IIITTTT
>*clap clap clapclapclap*

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>tf
>tp

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NOTRE DAME WOULD BOOTY BLAST BOTH OF THESE PEDOS
**UNNECESSARY CLAPPING SOUNDS**
**GUNSHOTS88

still wondering who >our captain will be this year with williams out

It'll be Staal, 100%.
Aho gets the C eventually, but only once Stall retires.

hopefully they follow the example of other teams relying on young talent and forgo the captain role until one accrues enough league experience to step up

Teams deciding not to have a captain is a meme.

>Sorry lad I’m 21
underage ban desu

giving the captain role to the highest paid player is a meme

Avoiding giving it to a player who's ready just because he's the highest-paid player and so you think you shouldn't is also a meme.

based...I just looked up the roadrunners and I had no idea phoenix has had a hockey team since the 60s.

>aho is ready
yeah ready to leave the team entirely LMAO

Dusty is gay as fuck, his name has and always will be Rocky. Tucson has a stick up their ass about Phoenix so they destroy what is holy.

>giving Marner the C

>aho is ready
Not what I was saying. I thought we were speaking in generalities.

>poutine

i simply applied what you were suggesting to a relevant team
if you disagree with this, perhaps you should rethink you general statement

>Stall
Fitting for a shitty player and person on a shitty team

pig nose is vying for the captain role
didnt you see his comments about bailing after his contract?

>I just applied what you were saying where it doesn't apply yet
>defend that, libtard
>haha checkmate
Quebec was a mistake.

How can you give the C to a player who doesn't even sign with the team?

>reee how dare you use an example

>not understanding how examples work

is aho not the highest paid player on the team?
is aho not ready to take on the captaincy role?
according to one user the answer to both these questions is "no"

>I just wanted to use something that doesn't apply as an example in order to put words in your mouth, wtf how dare you not let me

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Quebec was definitely a mistake.

>reee how dare anyone suggest aho is viable for the captaincy!!!!

You're the only one saying that, retard.

>implying they won't give it to Tavares

and what is wrong with that?
he satisfies both your expectations

Are you talking to yourself?

no, do you struggle with reading comprehension?

Just don't respond to it.

pathetic

Giving the C to a youngster, who's clearly not ready yet, just because he's an elite goalscorer is a meme.

>reeee

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I wonder if he's even doing it on purpose for le epic trole or if he's just genuinely retarded.

i see the americans are already worked into a shoot and it isnt even noon yet

Captain should be the guy that scores the most goals

>the mere mention of hurricanes whips up a seethe

>Captain ends up as some entitled tap-in shitter instead of the actual playmaker leader

Wish a homeless person or innercity kid wood try to fight me when I'm hanging out downtown

But no one was talking about them except for you, that's the point.

priorities, Sam

>solving differential equations
>derivatives

>wood

>every canadian poster is the same person
rent free

>Marner rejected 11 million per year for 7 years

What the fuck is this guys problem

that wasnt even me dumb dumb

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>I'll just hide my retardation behind anonymity ha ha can't get me :^)
cringe

>differential equations
>not a derivative
whoa

If he's from Alberta, he's the latter

>let's just give the C to this 20 year old prodigy and have him try to lead a team of mostly god-tier idiots. What could possibly go wrong???

what is hard about admitting that user was wrong?

>third stage interview in 40 minutes
I don't want the job I just like the view out the window so Im gonna milk this for a bit

Solving differential equations is as important as it gets for many fields, it uses derivatives to find solutions but it definitely is not a derivative

based gnagetbrud

nerd

Okay brainlet
Get back to flipping hash

is it autism?

Bit early to be this worked up already /hoc/

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this is what happens when you insult the official team of /hoc/

I like it when anons post their math proofs
t. degree in stats

Sharks

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who mentioned the knights?

the Milwaukee Maths?

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Yeah I’m ted and I’m a nerd but at least I’m better than you

*CHOMP*

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Be a man and start one, pussy

this is the most kino jersey in league history

you did

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For me it's ignoring tripfags

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t. 300k starting any job he wants

nice head canon schizo

its cuz theres not hoc on the teevee yet

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serious question. if you're one of the NHL teams with any of the red white and blue jerseys, why didn't you just decide to wear a trash bag instead

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based

and this why you're among the best posters latvia

we should all strive to be this redpilled

/hoc/ lacks the discipline to do so

There there lad, very soon™

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Will you ever upload your collection of girls? Asking for a friend.

I'm in a near-constant state of seethe these days

We know, Randy.

last time i did, most of the community here sperged out and i was mass reported then received a ban

they are in the archive if you really care to look

typical /hoc/

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unrealistic. sure, she's obese but not brown or gay enough

ill dump a few since we're slow

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>spending 1/8th of your salary cap on overrated shit: russian edition
oh no no no

Guys I'm not hungry but should prolly have some lunch, what should I get?

its ok to admit you miss him ted

delectable tranny lad, but the ugly ass jersey ruins it

that is some head canon

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I'll do it I swear on me mum

gas station sushi

That's a boy.

You're telling me that's not a man?

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Bowl of eggs

nice trips
also pic related

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crackhead corner ass

ill have to find its instagram later to verify

cup of coffee

for me, its being the mickey mouse tournament champs

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smoke the juul

Best jersey coming through

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>Anthaniseu
gesundheit

>goalie going down that early
My mom could've scored there.

Your mom goes down pretty early

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>Easy Mom joke
I'll pass on the low hanging fruit, unlike your Mom

really

sounds like your mom likes to suck some dick haha *dabs*

le bowl of spaghetti jersey

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your mom goes for the low hanging fruit

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Rantenen and Kadri already have chemistry

youtube.com/watch?v=wGlK4wemsVE

The entire bottom row left, except Josh Anderson on the far right.

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Rantanen isn't even going to be playing in colorado this year

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lads there might be another blots in the making

tell us

I promised to a canadian that I will post the town Im in now. Not only I will do that I will also show you the biggest pussy monument in Europe

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her name is steff von schweetz
now apologize

memes aside, I like the skate jersey
I also like how the canucks dropped the wordmark from their primaries. it looks sharper

the dodgers could have 100 wins and could get BTFO hard in the playoffs

they erected that monument because only pussies live in poland

Yeah, that's 100% a boy.

I'm still not convinced

Or to show that we get the most of pussy in Europe

>boreball
OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT

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have sex

if it was polish pussy it would have much more bushes around it

Not judging you at all or anything but really my man?

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happy >bloos elimination day everyone

it would also have much wider lips

AHEM

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GIVE HIM THE CALL, BERGY! HE WANTS NONE OF THE LEAFS!

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poland is goofy in this comic

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TRY THE WINE

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can see why montreal hasn't had to deal with the zoomer rfa problem

I found some chick pea crackers and some mint ice cream bars

I was going to post something but now I forget what it was.

if in doubt just >rags

how could you forget 9/11

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gimmie back my bullets

put em back where they belong

aint foolin around cause i done had my fun

aint gonna see no more damage done

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>trusting euro prospects
>no CHAD canadian kids
>lundpads getting older
>trouba and panarin eating a good chunk of the cap
>no center depth
they're shit

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kek

never forget, never forgive

poland im just making fun of you because I like you

poland more like noland because they are landlet cucks like new zealand

95384760
Imagine being this wrong

dzien dobry, buddy
gave nuGwent another try last night just for (you)

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>ghost (you)ing a post from half an hour ago

>Mitch Marner turns down 11 million per year for 7 years

what the fuck is this guys problem

when isn't hockey started soon yet?

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Term.
He wants 5 years.

gas all zoomers

>being a laffer for 7 years
sounds like hell tbqh

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>let's hire a twink gm they said
>it'll be a good idea they said
>players proceed to walk all over him

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>JT left the isles for that twink
yikes. How could he have convinced him to go to the >laffs

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>we
>can
>and
>we
>will

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Why don't poles have chins?

>tfw chinless polish genetics

>dumb frogposter
Die

*has a chin*
ha ha kurwa

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>defending boreball
You first.

raining again, lads

boreball at least isnt as degenerate as CTEball where the same fucking team wins endlessly

>STILL defending boreball
You're really making me hate the Islanders.

>tavares
>$11 million
>matthews
>$11.6 million
>nylander
>$6.97 million
>marner
>???

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They are above cap, why aren't they moving players to get below if they are making offers to Marner?

mate, just watch one game at least. I can care less if you dont like it or not, it isnt as bad as fucking CTEball

I'd love to gently grab a hold of those sweet ankles, lift them up and them over the side she goes.

baseball fucking sucks
football fucking sucks
islanders fucking suck
anime fucking suck
weebs fucking suck

boreball and handegg are both equally shit, now talk about hockey or go away

god I'm so lonely

Hope you stretched before that leap in logic

theres no fucking news. what am I gonna talk about? Marner taking a shit and dubas giving it a 2.2M dollar contract?

>sportnet hockey analyst steve dangle

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Nailed it

I feel ya, user.

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IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR

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So

Give me a name at least man

reminder

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Don't have names, sorry.
Just know that whoever she is, she's out there, somewhere, waiting for you.

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I've got an inside source that says Kippers is planning on returning to /hoc/

youtube.com/watch?v=HNYFMm-usHk

would rather watch women's hockey than even a single nanosecond of the metropolitan division

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Incredibly based

Hilary has some vampire teeth. It's kinda hot

stop posting my wife

I used to have teeth like that until I got them fixed

I would say hes trying to get out of Toronto but hes rejected all offersheets and nothing has come out, he could just sign a qualifying offer to fuck off asap, what the literal fuck is his problem that hes rejecting 80 million dollars

Like literally if he signed 11x7 /hoc/ would mock the leafs endlessly and every deal signed after him would be for less AAV make the Leafs front office look like a clown show and he STILL rejected it?

>fixed
Why?

yeah your teeth were horrible until i HEEMED you and you lost 22 teeth

We've never even met

Pronounced canines are very sexy on a woman of good caliber.

t. incurable homosexual

you dont remember it cuz you got heemed, lad

i understand your shame lad, or maybe as the other user said, you got concussed real good and don't remember it

You must have heemed some other user, I don't even leave the house except to get more liquor.

Just proposed /hoc/, what have you done with your life?

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You don't even leave the house to go play some hockey?

Shoved a finger up my ass this morning.

Is that cellulite on upper arms?!

fapped to this lass

One time I started a pickup game with the kids down the street but then their dads came and beat me up

see lad, you were heemed by a drunk canadian dad

Believe it or not I just made that up

me too

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mitch marner
brayden point
mikko rantanen
patrik laine
charlie mcavoy
matthew tkachuk
brock boeser
kyle connor
brando carlo
travis konecny
ivan provorov
kevin fiala

Took a massive Marner a little bit ago, the kind where you think you may have ripped your asshole.

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who is this demon of semons

how fucking new are you?

Is Bulju posting ded

never

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As ded as Edmonton's playoff hopes

/ourgirl/ Lauren

have sex incel

just answer the question

just got here actually

I can see that, that semon demon is former rinkside reporter aka /ourgirl/ lauren gardner

cups before expansion don't count

I've been in /hoc/ for 13 years

i thought cassie was

cups older than a year don't count unless they are consecutive from the year prior

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Liar
"no"

14 for moi

you should've seen the shitposting when hull scored his "goal" in the 99 scf

The new Lauren is cute

I've been in /hoc/ since bobby orr scored the goal that invented hockey

Literally cannot stop sweating from my armpits
send help

lmao just stop

speaking of 9/11, i remember all the gamethreads for the planes crashing.

>20 years later
>still seething
it was in

lose weight

reminder my helmet battered her tonsils about 15 years ago

I'm trying
I'm not even fat

I agree, his foot was in the crease

>foot in crease
>during the season play would regularly stop for 10+ minutes if there was a slim chance a player might have touched the crease even if he clearly didn't interfere with the goalie
>the league had to make a public announcement about it
>they literally changed the rule after

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Did buffalo get an apology from the NHL as well?

She's fat.

Can't believe it needs saying but if you are attracted to skinny girls with flat chests and no asses then I have some news for you.

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i am only attracted to marinara and her massive juggs

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From being a fucking loser in his bedroom to a fucking SN analyst

For me, it's slender girls with small chests and firm asses.

this the post

Based well adjusted user
Cringe pedoposts

>slags
yeah totally hockey related

>minnesotans lurking the thread again

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stop being a gay incel and have sex

The Wild would bootyblast your shit team

Sometimes.

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"no"

ladies love hockey too you turbofaggot

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*ladies pretend to love hockey for attention
ftfy

You can't be gay or straight until you have sex first

holy cringe at this lad

They didn't change the rule. You could always shoot and score from inside the crease as long as you controlled the puck to make it entire the crease. Or else it would be no goal if you deked a goalie out of his pads on a break away and ended up shooting from inside the crease.

That picture you posted doesn't show that Hull kicked the puck from outside the crease to his stick before shooting. He had control of the puck before it was in the crease, therefore the shit is legal from inside the crease

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Hes literally the next mcgrady because of this

kaapo kakko desu

bust
u
s
t

B U S T

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>the mental gymnastics of zoomer dallas fans who weren't even born yet

>rags
shit team
shit fans
shit franchise
>1940
>1 cup in 80 years

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Stop posting that fucking whore. Shes a skeleton for fucks sake

projecting your own teams prospects

based ragsbro
our year

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ayy
lmao

>our year
>no centers
>shit defense
>lundshit
>still have holes
>euro prospects
lmfaoooo you will finish 6th in the metro dumb finland

we out here

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am going to marinara's show in montreal tonight, if i get to meet her when she exits i'll ask her what her favorite nhl team is lads

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All of the cool Finns choose the Canes or the Kitties.

POLAND COME BACK MY LOVE

islels fans come out of the woodwork after having one good year in the last almost 40 years

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>swedish goaltending
LMAO

Stop posting this filthy dago.

where were we

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always been here nigga, and the isles have had good years. they've gotten better since 2014

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Stop posting unattractive women.

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marinara isn't going anywhere lad, feel free to leave if she triggers you, shes a hockey fan and i'll talk about hockey with her tonight

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Never forget.

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no

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i know you prefer naked men, but we'll keep posting hot ladies instead

@95386294
now if only you had an actual home arena to hang those participation trophy banners in

except we do? Nassau is gonna have a shit ton more home games before the belmont arena opens. Havent even raised one since the 80's though

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thanks for the encouragement lad

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stop posting this goblin

absolutely ghastly

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ok then

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imagine only being attractive to women with the body of a prepubescent boy

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Just post someone who doesn't have a hideous face.

Hockey?

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what does this even mean?

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actually prepubescent

Sorry, thought that's what /hoc/ liked.

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overweight

it's pretty self explanatory really

*sips in honor of the 2977*

it really isnt when you see the women he fawns over

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How about you post something you like instead of constantly bringing others down?

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Good. Make sure you go to the PWHPA website the day of the games. Thats where they are streamed. Knight will be playing with Poulin, Laura Stacey etc and Budweiser is a major sponsor.

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Thank you for your condolences, norge

you're welcome: youtu.be/Nh0pHvFsmng

wait til you see her feet

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'preciate it bud

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business idea: relegate any team that doesn't win a cup either within 25 years of creation or within the last 50 years overall

business idea relegate any team that can't win a cup without canadian players

The NHL Salary Cap is dumb and makes no sense with all the countless loopholes for legal cap circumvention that has turned the yotes into a money laundering pit for GMs.

Also Fuck Marner.

business idea: eat ass

FUND IT

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I'll boycott womens hockey until they are paid the same as men.

thinking about going down to the local shopping plaza and patrolling it for ISIS

youtube.com/watch?v=xLyGVJAT02A

business idea: every canadian team has to fight in a tournament and only the winner doesn't get relegated

that feeling when you can't focus on class because you keep imagining what all your female classmate's vaginas look like

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have sex

like arby's

you think I'm not trying?!

The cap is fine, it just needs raised.

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FUND THIS TOO

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>business idea: eat ass
best post of 2019 right here

Was actually just thinking about posting this, super weird.

I have a mental list of what girls I think have big roast beef vaginas and who has cute tight vaginas. It's about 70% roasties I imagine

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pretty excited for the new thread.

marinara edition i hope

game 6 is a must-win imo

amazing I've only been banned like twice this offseason

They would like a little more money everyone would but their main goal is to make sure the next generation of young girls have a league to play in that is stable and won't fold. They honestly do care about the younger kids or they wouldn't hold hockey camps with them.

>late

What's the bush to shaved ratio?

...

>2 bans in off season
did you even post?

not as much as randy

Blegh, no.

great question. I will think it over in my next class and get back to you

With Finns you ______

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get aids

>Denisles fans
>weeb
Checks out

I thought Knight was boycotting the league

in the era of joga "pants" you really don't have to imagine

Why are you idiots still posting here?

Trips for 25th cup

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