/cric/ - fuck sky sports edition

loved it how the coward joe root tried to claim that it was Smith alone who won the ashes when England were thoroughly roped before Lyon and Paine fucked >our shit up in the test without Smith

based sebbo

literally who else can be captain

FUCK NIGGERS

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>muh green cap
wish steve waugh would shut the fuck up such a reddit cricketer

just a matter of time before they turn to Stokes in desperation

he always does this
we could have been absolutely pumped 5-0 losing by an innings each test and all he would say is that he was proud that they stayed in the contest in all 5 tests and just lost a few key moments. he is a clown

that would absolutely destroy him, it'd be hilarious

sorry sweetie you cant be based and fat unless youre a black rapper a la 8ball that dude who guest starred on that three six mafia track

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just flat out refuses to admit anything has ever gone wrong and that maybe there are serious issues in english cricket that need to be addressed like the coward he is

Business Idea:
>get rid of the T20 blast
>use the time to have the 8 hundred teams also play a mini white ball series with 3 group games, semi final, final
>promote alongside the hundred and have day nighters where appropriate

Abbey off survivor has a bangin body lads

Red ball, even

Business idea: get rid of the hundred.

business idea: outlaw brainletbash and sack ed smith

business idea: abolish english cricket

>I like batting and I don't really like watching cricket

Is Steve Smith our guy?

tell me why I shouldn't do the redditful

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lol can you post the vid link? thats fucking based

Speaking at a media conference, the 28-year-old revealed according to quotes on Hindustan Times, “I don’t know the answer to that, to be honest with you. From my experience, I just want to be out there batting.” He added, “I don’t actually like watching cricket that much and I prefer to be out there batting and getting the job done. I think that’s part of it.”

thats wavey as fuck lad. cop

I just heard it on the news just now.

its confirmed, watching cricket is for brainlets

that answer was in response to him asking how he felt watching the end of the headingley test

nadal won the US open
english cricket is in disarray
its cold and cloudy in September
i have to toil tomorrow and chuck away my youth for gdp growth

hopefully the next decade will bring some good news

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I don't really follow tennis that much but how is a sport with so much emphasis on physical shape and endurance still being dominated by the same boomers as 10 years ago?

feeling based

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bit racist against glasses wearers, another years ban I reckon

lmao

because theres no good new players

I DON'T LIKE CRICKET

kygriwog

australia are better than england at cricket
get over it lads

england still better at sport overall

For me it's cricket

New breed are mental midgets.

>That is now 12 Grand Slam titles in a row which have been won by Nadal, Federer and Djokovic.
That's all of '17, '18 and '19. Wawrinka was last non-big 3 winner and he was 31.

NO NO

just spat out my hot milo

>england still better at sport overall

what sport besides soccer? even then neither of us are the best

I LUV IT

Thinking the coward Joe Root should be banned for life for bringing the game into disrepute

but aus have more rwcs as well as a vastly superior medals per capita in the olympics
the only one where we're better is divegrass and I wouldh ope so given the level of obsession. even then we are considered a joke in that sport by the actually successful nations
frankly we are a poor sporting nation that relies on nicking talent from colonies to compete

>overall
>taking everything into account
>population size
factually incorrect

>england still better at sport overall
this is just plain wrong
Better at tennis and I assume we're still better at union

the coward joe root

the soon-to-be relieved of his captaincy joe root

feel like pure shit just want Kyrgios to win a slam

lol youre population isnt even that small why do you listen to that meme. also population means jack shit anyway . if it did india wouldnt be so eternally shit at cricket

The series losing Joe Root

Whats he doing right now?
Also thinking Sir Ben Stokes would be a fine addition to the New Zealand team

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the home dead rubber test playing captain joe root

loving these abstract memes lads

look at the olympics medal table mate
england carves out a niche with literally every sport going. think snooker, darts, running, swimming . we're probably the best country at sport in the world when you factor in commenwealth sports on top of this

the 1-7 ashes win/loss record having joe root

it's one third of the uk m8

oh the post said 'overall'
which as you know means taking everything into account, population being one of those things.

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>snooker, darts
won't respond to this bait

>snooker, darts

Truly an elite sporting nation.

the craven ashes surrending and double golden duck receiving joe root

snooker is actually really brainful

>England has never won a Rugby League world cup, except for the UK side in 1972
that settles it, Englel are shit

It's pretty crazy how much of an impact we have in sport considering all our best athletes play in 2 sports played basically only in Australia, we've even become the 2nd best basketball team in the world overnight.

hmm, well currently odi cricket, rugby union, football of course, boxing, f1, snooker, the Olympics in general

>lose home series Ashes to 3 players returning from a year long ban and a team cobbled together from the leftovers
>b-b-but overall we're b-better at sp-sports
BTFO YOU SHITTERS, BOW DOWN TO YOUR CRIC SUPERIORS

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take away the talents STOLEN from other countries and england would be barely zimbabwe tier

and apparently in 54 and 60 too

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rugby_League_World_Cup

Are England really better in Union? Would've thought we're still up there
>boxing, f1, snooker, the Olympics in general
not sports

>le snooker
>les darts
holy mother of CRINGE

>rugby league

but a lot of their talent is stolen from zimbabwe
oh yeah meant that's the most recent one

pretty soon you'll be telling me that the boat race is a sport

actually quite sick of the reddit australia is superior to england meme
geographically speaking australia is literally the ugliest country on earth

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>odi cricket
debatable but ok

>boxing
dead boomer sport, we are better at mma

>f1
hamilton is a car babby, ricciardo is better

>geographically speaking australia is literally the ugliest country on earth
probably the most brainful post zachy has made in yonks lads

Missing Yuimetal lads

>dead boomer sport, we are better at mma
g'day zoomer

THE ABSOLUTE SEETHE
UNLOAD ENGLEL, LET IT ALL OUT, THE ASHES ARE OURS

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>no true scotsman

>geographically speaking australia is literally the ugliest country on earth
ah yes, the geographically diverse England with its broad range of low lying hills, plains and uhhhh.... more plains
all capped under the worst weather in existence

Threadly reminder

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who are you quoting

I can't be too angry at australia, nearly all my seethe is directed towards england and its management
the ones I hate the most are ed smith, ashley giles, joe root and especially jonny bairstow the seething ginger glovelet. I hate him the most

>all capped under the worst weather in existence

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wish i'm that bat

mate .... if im being totally honest
australia is a complete cultural wasteland
the fact that zyzz, a bodybuilding incel from /fit/ is the greatest australian icon of all time really speaks volumes
theres a reason we sent our criminals off to australia. because its a literal destert

looks like those battlestation threads where there's shit everywhere

so
fucking
true

every line of it

especially the bit about aus being a cultural wasteland

though if i'm really honest, it's more cultural antimatter

look at what they did to abo culture after all

heading there next week with the missus
so close

Can't be angry at all mate, conditions unironically favoured England the majority of the series.
I mean shit, Smoth was k'o'd by a fly in nigger head hunting on an unpredictable pitch then comes back and basically singlehandedly wins the decider
fuck England, you bastards deserved it and your newly crowned status as the bastards of cric is well deserved

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>informing your understanding of a country off dead Yea Forums memes

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johnny bairstow has done nothing wrong alchy locks. ok he gets bowled a lot but hes literally way better at batting than jos buttler and you shouldnt make him a scapegoat just because he seems like a vulnerable person

Afghanistan cruising towards victory lads

ok still you have literally no culture
one paragraph of wuthering heights contains more culture than Australia does in its entirety

More culture and artistic achievement has come out of Brisbane than the last 50 years of England
we are the true successors of the British Empire

>johnny bairstow has done nothing wrong alchy locks. ok he gets bowled a lot
t. root

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Anyone watching BAN v AFG, could be an exciting finish

anyone got a non-urine stream?

lmisports.net/tv1/willow.php
not amazing but watchable

wuthering heights is our culture too mate that's the bit you're missing
naturally we share any english cultural achievement england had up till 1986

A bloke called Afghan is playing for Afghanistan

someone post Guess who is sick and tired of suffering under this capitalist death machine of exploitation and oppression. Guess who has cracked under the brunt of monetised dehumanisation. This body is merely a commodified vessel of flesh and bone I have become numb with pure resentment

shane watson pic

Did this just switch to a movie for anyone else?

literally changed his name when he got made captain or something because he wanted to be a symbol for the afghan people

not uncommon though, got a mate with the last name italiano, another with norman, another with de breton, got to remember last names were so you could differentiate Steve the tailor from Steve the smith

Yeh I dont know whats going on its just buffering now

ok so then you basically admit your eternal cucks
cool story

Refreshing it seemed to work

lul, nothing worse than the busloads of poms living out their home and away/neighbours fantasy east coast wicked campervan trips then desperately trying to overstay their visas before being rounded up by immigration and sent back to bongland.
grim as fuck, life here is amazing and you're searching for anything
thanks for the ashes lad, your team and your country is fucked.

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Powderfinger and the Go-Betweens have more artistic merit than the last thirty years of English music

based umpire gifting Afghanistan a deserved win

I hate bairstow because he is very talented but bar one and a half good years he bats so so below his ability. average of 35 is absolute garbage for a player of his talent especially when he barely even bats above number 5
his tantrums about the gloves have been incredibly tiresome as well

as for buttler I was the one constantly decrying ed smith for picking a meme slogger in the runup to the india series last year based entirely on IPL performances. sure he did well in that series and made me look a bit foolish but I think I have been proved right in the long run. I just can't get as angry about buttler because he isn't a prick

bongs SEETHING

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congratulations Australia for retaining the Ashes. They were far better throughout the series. Disappointed with England, but at least we saw some good matches in contrast to the plethora of innings victories we've seen in the last few ashes series. hopefully there'll be a good match at the oval with those sweet, sweet test championship points on offer

lmao not quite mate

ok, so we have concluded that australia is part of england
nice one ausfags
at least americans have some mettle and think independtly and dont accept the royal family. you guys are literally eternally cucked

There's merit in this, Brisbane music v British music. Reminder that The Saints literally invented the punk genre.

average of 35 really isnt that bad mate. not in a shit side.you have to realise england are fucking shit. hes way better than anyone who could try replace him

this article makes some fantastic points on Buttler, especially the idea that they were forcing guys like Pope into the top order when they really were more suited to replace Buttler

How many chances are Afghanistan going to give up

jos buttler is absolute trash

ok throw in Violent Soho and I reckon they're square

kek
KEK

yeah good article that one

so true

>you guys are literally eternally cucked
HOWLING

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how about Sticky Fingers?

it feels like the post-mortem of this series is similar to the '07, '11 and '15 world cups, where England had just been selecting good test players and hoping they're good in odis, except now they have the opposite problem.

It's frustrating because they seemed to have briefly learned the lesson that the two formats need to essentially be treated independently, and that gave them success in the odis, but then they forgot that lesson and made Jason Roy open the batting in the Ashes

*cucks your entire country*

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If there's no punk movement there's no new wave etc counter movement and also no grunge which is a follow on from punk, if there's no grunge there's no britpop.
The Saints, from Brisbane, are basically the catalyst of all major British musical movements in the last 40 years.

AFGHANISTAN CELEBRATE THEIR FIRST TEST WIN
Scenes here in Chittagong

that guys a total trashbag but ill never live in london. london is on some booky movements

don't even mind that he's muslim but why would anyone vote for such an unapologetic manlet, he just flaunts it in every sense

hes literally a confirmed ISIS terrorist . defended a known terrorist in a court case

>would anyone vote for such an unapologetic manlet
very telling of the future and extremely grim for not only London but the entire country formerly known as Englel

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being a 'human rights lawyer' is exclusively about making sure the world's worst people have creature comforts and don't get beaten and other soft cunt shit

no I don't read but I've got my instincts and they are worth a thousand books

mayors of london arent voted for anyway . at least not by england as a whole
its all illumanity bullshit . the same illumanity that means we will never leave brexit even though we voted for it

Is Chittagong related to Wollongong?

besides, londoners actually get a semi at the thought of being subjugated by a manlet paki sultan. frankly it is a win/win for everyone

>illumanity
lmao

heh, BBC just made a joke on their front page that england have announced an unchanged squad for the 5th test

Yeah I've thought that before as well, they pretty much made the same mistake but in reverse. I find the idea of Eoin Morgan as a one day specialist who can't play t20s or tests to save his life weird
It seems so ridiculous that they have to be so singular minded about the season and dedicate absolutely everything to a white ball or red ball format, I guess maybe the season is too short in England to accomodate both. iirc the scheduling has meant there's been no first class county cricked going on during the ashes so they can't even replace current players as they don't know what kind of form they're in
I reckon they're just not harsh enough to the players as well, Buttler and Bairstow should be dropped and performers in county cricket brought in

i suppose youre right in a way

Have England announced their team for the Oval yet? Some user said it was due today.

its actually a real thing lad. democracy is a myth

>mayor of London is voted by people in London, not England as a whole
woah mind blowing concept

Bit dire that a comic book movie won at Venice lads.

yeah saw that it was unchanged but that was obviously an out of season april fools so I'm waiting for the real announcement

ohnonono
at least >we had the guts to drop Finch for our fourth test against India

but its england's capital city you fucking retard. why would support london becoming more insular and seperate than it already is

That's just the squad though right? They wont announce the team until sometime near the toss right?

The illumanity didn't mind Boris being mayor?

Hahaha OMG I can't believe England would just surrender their largest capital city to hoards of foreigners!

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>illumanity
lmao

It's its own city idiot, you've already got a PM elected by the nation, why should the mayor of the city be decided by some randoms from Yorkshire?

boris is a brainlet too

Their squad doesn't have any other batting options, Curran is the only other non injured and non cooked (referring to Ali) option

its its own city but its not its country. why shouldnt the mayor of her capital be decided by england as a whole? youre playing a very dangerous and undemocratic game

Um sweaty, the people don't directly elect the prime minister

oh yeah I suppose you're right
but it's only 13 players, the only change they can make now is to bring in sam curran or woakes a match after dropping him
it signals they are happy with how things have gone

>England squad for fifth Test: Joe Root (capt), Jofra Archer, Jonny Bairstow (wk), Stuart Broad, Rory Burns, Jos Buttler (wk), Sam Curran, Joe Denly, Jack Leach, Craig Overton, Jason Roy, Ben Stokes, Chris Woakes.
How can pozzies even compete with this huge brained selection policy? Australia may have won the actual matches, but I think we all know who the real winners are here

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the mayor of london is not that important mate

What the fuck is the point of a mayor elected by the country and a PM elected by the country
Do you realise what a mayor is supposed to do? It's like planning and infrastructure specific to the city
Do you think the mayor of Manchester should be decided by the nation

Oh dear..... well isn't Curran meant to be good? I think Vaughan was saying he should have been picked from the beginning, if Roy were dropped and Curran were in that'd probably be good enough to give aus a run.

not massively important but it still matters and represents english philosophy and identity. given that hes the figurehead of our beautiful capity city

we are bros with burgers now. chinks hating on us hard and will be forced to make a tough decision in the future, back to the grorious nation (lul) or stay here.
Assimilation is working lad
war looms
comfy times

Curran is a bowler mate
at a stretch Ed Smith would call him an all rounder but he's Pat Cummins tier with the bat

Englels other big problem is that they've put Archer on the pussy pedestal and now cant drop him til hes properly injured. So the only bowling hange could be overton

Apologise right now

no because manchester isnt our capital . what youre basically asking of me is just to comletely disregard london and forget its even my capital city

Oh yes, and an educated one at that. What I mean is the illumanity wanted Boris as mayor of London but don't want brexit? Boris has been a leaver since at least '04, when he was on the spectator.
If leaving is so untenable for the illumanity I'm sure they should've not supported any leavers ever, but that's not what happened.
If all this behind the curtains wizard of oz ruling stuff is totally true, I'd like to understand their position with some consistency.

...

you asked brainlet

I think an insufferable socdem who is also a paki is the perfect figurehead for modern london

That's what I thought, is there another lad with a similar name who's a batsman? I've heard them talking about someone, I'll try to find who hold on.....

youtube.com/watch?v=X_DVS_303kQ

banger

World XI

Tendulkar, opener

Dravid, opener

Bradman Captain

Smith

Viv Richards

Gilchrist, Keeper

Flintoff

Warne

Holding

Lillee

Hadlee

>not massively important but it still matters and represents english philosophy and identity. given that hes the figurehead of our beautiful capity city
>represents english philosophy
fucking howling, how old are you

not me bra, just some paki ignore him

He's mainly a bowler who can slog a few rather than build an innings properly. So expect him to slot into the top six somewhere. May be used as a pinch hitting opener

Ollie Pope? Another middle order batsman they tried to meme into the top order

>how old are you
great reply lad, how old are you?

Let's all post our ages haha

>flintoff

LOL

23. You?

>great reply lad, how old are you?
great reply lad, how old are you?

i literally have no opinion of borish johnson desu. i just know that hes social immobility personified and a total brainlet. ive completely checked out of british politics. ive become numb with pure resentment

kind of sounds like "goodbye ashes" when you think about it

Horrendous thread lads
Can’t we all just get on instead of continual seething

>>great reply lad, how old are you?
>great reply lad, how old are you?
great reply lad, how old are you?

afghanistan RISING

> le asl?

Need a Q Lazzarus girlfriend

It's just a completely ridiculous assertion, I have to assume you're a teenager or mentally handicapped

30
M
Blacktown

Threadly reminder that England are still the champions of the world.

Nah it was definitely Sam Curran - apparently he singlehandedly won a series against India somehow....

There's only 3 mentions of cricket in this thread
We NEED more representation in this thread or the other sports will laugh at us

if now is not a time for seething, after watching these cunts surrender a home ashes series for the first time in 18 years, and watching an autistic pudgy kid hit endless hundreds while the coward joe root will just get away with it and carry on being captain then when the FUCK am I allowed to seethe

Hey Faggot
My name is Haydos, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the cricket team, and starter on my rugby league team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and my bitch"

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thinking about some lunch

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military medium dibbly dobbly was surprisingly effective because for some reason the balls were swinging an absolute mile last summer

and he scored some useful lower order runs that were required because our top order was serving up a big pile of shit every time as always

>getting into the mud with pigs

Nah mate, not for me.

goodbye hoooorrrses
im flying over you

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champions of the world*
Yeah he saved them with the bat a few times but as I said he's Pat Cummins tier, has a few lucky innings can't be depended upon. Got exposed against the West Indies iirc
He isn't a replacement for Roy or Denly. It was kind of like that time Anderson saved a match with the bat

very sad... for shakib

>le higher ground meme after le how old are you reply meme
cringing at you
cringing at my post
cringing at this thread
fuck off the lot of you

But you've already got the GOAT all rounder, and you started with Moeen Ali in the team aswell - why the fuck would that useless cunt Vaughan want another?

>exposing yourself as a blow in
just as I suspected

it is shakib bro

>why would we want a glut of all rounders

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>le blow in freshie caz meme
more cringe

I think the philosophy is, if our batsmen aren't any good, just make sure all the bowlers can bat to rectify it
obviously this falls apart because you just end up with a team packed full of bits-and-pieces cricketers and play-your-natural-game merchants

Ok so with Curran ruled out for actual batting, and no other contenders, I think I can now agree that the squad selection for the 5th test at the Oval is as grim as the English posters are making it out to be.

based banksy

tbf I think they're unsure who takes the third or fourth seamer position
They've dropped Woakes even though I don't think he was that bad and went with Overton, Vaughn probably wanted Curran in that position

I know it never works, we've tried it a few times in ODIs I believe, and it almost always results in our top order batsmen throwing their wickets away because "there's plenty of batsmen to come, it doesn't matter if I get out" and then because there's so many wickets falling an no one gets settled the run rate is even slower than if they were just playing conservatively.

don't need any batsmen lad
Smoth will bat for 5 days for a draw as a final fuck you to the seething Englel crowds

first innings score for England at the oval after they win the toss and bat first

Burns 150 ct behind
Denly 29 lbw
Root 350*
Roy 117*

just realised you aren't even the brit I responded to and you're both too chickenshit to provide ages
hmm

f.cebook.com/namra.patel.1/videos/2428948163894703/

holy fucking based lads. we're all going to make it
incredible. afghanistan in those beautiful red helmets . thank you aghanistan for everything youve done for cricket

don't even mind a boreblock draw, imagine how angry the crowd will be

>you're both too chickenshit to provide ages

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woakes was sidelined because he wasn't as exciting as the savage house nigger Jofra Archer
root barely bowled woakes, I assumed it was because he was maybe carrying a slight injury (in which case don't pick him for 3 tests retard) but I think it literally just is because root doesnt trust him despite him being elite in home conditions for years(and next to useless away)

I would support this simply for the statpadding results.

I condemn the booing of steve smith at this point, it's gone on long enough and just looks like pathetic sour grapes. plus it is not even working.
the booing of david warner however I fully support because he is not making any runs and it is funny

>first innings
>root 350

So there's only going to be one innings then? One big long slow boring 5 day innings? (1403)

I wondered if he was injured too but you would have thought they would say it by now, don't see much point to lie about it although it is a bad look when so many of your bowlers have gotten injured (Anderson, Wood, Stone)
He looked like shit when they showed him in the box in the last test, maybe it's a minor injury
>but I think it literally just is because root doesnt trust him
why
I actually think it's not a bad option for them to at least try a different bowling unit when they were getting btfo with Woakes in, and he's been the weakest bowler

He be worth keeping in the side as a specialist batsman the way some of your boys have gone.

Harris 5(20) lbw
Warner 5(1) bowled
Labuschagne 50*(50) not out
Smith 1200* (error) not out

350* (633)
Aus skittled for spare change and forced to follow on
I have divined it

thinking back to the time we batted stuart broad at 7 against australia in 2009 because he was a decent meme bat at the time
102 all out first innings I believe
but woakes is definitely a better bat than broad even pre nose break and subsequent mental melt

Afghanistan got their maiden test victory,a nation born in test match cricket today and surely will become a competitive side in time of a decade, Congratulations to the team for their effort as they just thrashed Bangladesh apart with a 224 run victory.Wicket n.o 9 could be the complain Bangladeshi fans would be making but at the end the better team won and a lesson taught to Bangladesh for their arrogance,poor selection and going without a front line Pacer seemed inappropriate, Bangladesh to worry but Afghanistan could be proud to beat a test playing nation nearly in their start to Test match cricket

read that in Michael Holdings voice lad

>Root 350* (21849032840230)
>statpadding for a single innings draw when you're 2-1 down in the series

High IQ cricket from Root right there.

good post, very succinctly put

Yeah I think I was meant to type he'd* but for one reason or another it didn't happen, on a side note for some reason I always read PETER SIDDLE'S GOT A HATRICK ON HIS BIRTHAY in Bumbles voice even though I watched that live, and have since replayed it, and it was in fact Tubby Taylor making the call.

just realised I'm on an anonymous Mongolian basket weaving forum.

Go back to Facebook you little cunt.

Did I reply to your aussie proxy and now you're defending yourself with the irish one?

please stop lad

exposed

ive been waiting for a guy to come and take me by the hand
could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of another man

what did he mean by this?

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the lyric is 'guide' not guy

oh nvm you were memeing because you also put another man instead of normal man
very good

He bowled well in the first test with anderson out, then when archer came in, he barely got a go

based alchy locks

Business idea: a year long test with 100 innings each

these helmets are so aesthetic. afhgan cricket was always just meant to be

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native kid working at the shops near my house

not racist but has anyone seen that before? bit shocking for me

I'm not defending anyone you can do what you like it's just that asking folk for their ages on an anonymous forum is either redundant, asinine, or nefarious. And I'm not a fan unless you're doing so ironically and it's actually funny, which is not the vibe I'm getting from you.
Sincerely hope you can take a break and check yourself before you wreck yourself, because digging your own rabbit holes leads to nowhere useful.
It's getting to a point of whether or not it's actual trolling or actual mental disorder, and I in all sincerity don't want to see either of those things happening to anyone and I'd feel bad myself if I didn't say anything right now.

craving PNG test cricket elite caps

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the assassination of Woakes' career by the coward Joe Root

kino colour scheme

holy fucking kek could you be any more obvious you sat fat cunt

really like to see the Netherlands become a test nation desu

really want PNG cricket to succeed but apparently it's only one village outside port moresby that plays it and like half the team are related to each other

we'd better lose the last test as well
don't think I can handle joe root being smug about securing a 2-2 in a dead rubber

Why are you so butt hurt about someone asking for an age?

this desu
sick of seeing his stupid face

About about 5, I reckon the pitch will be a bit of a landmine

just need a bit of international success and the thirdies will flock to a sport

story of cricket in south asia

england will lose the last test match
england cant into cricket at the oval
this series always had 3-1 Australia written all over it

I still remember his stupid grin after they won the 3rd test in the windies to secure a 1-2 series loss and acting like this made up for the whole tour
if he got a series draw in similar circumstances he might actually cum in his pants live on TV

>all this talk about "The Hundred"
>I assumed it was a 100 over game to slot in somewhere between tests and one dayers
>didn't see the point in it but didn't hate the idea either
>finally got around to googling it
>100 balls not overs
>10 balls per over but bowlers can bowl half overs

hahah wtf no wonder so many people are shitty about it, but who knows it might turn out to be a genius idea

he's an absolute fucking mong
despise him

it was formed on the premise that t20 cricket was 'too complicated' for casual fans

It's properly grim. For the last 2-3 years it's been obvious that we lack batsman who can build a proper test innings, and filling the order with one day players doesn't work. If you don't rethink the strategy after losing the ashes at home, when do you?
The time was after the India series where England won but the problems were clear.

deano thought england would win the ashes because of stokes freak innings. old trafford and oval england never had any chance of winning . maybe edgbaston or the rose bowl would been a different story

recommend every lad reads this

It's very shit and hopefully whomever is backing it will lose all of their monies and abandon it before the first season completes.

think we already lost at edgbaston this series m8

Business idea: ashes test at Malahide

I love that even in a summer where we (sort of) won the world cup, I will end up as depressed as ever regarding the sport in this country. Glorious

lol I'm not convinced adding in half overs makes the game less complicated

yeah i know. just saying this current england has no chance against australia on wickets that turn or take pace. slow swingers are our only chance but yeah he got mauled at edgbaston which speaks volumes

morgan was alright at tests, not great but not shit. extremely smart lad I reckon actually. he saw the limited overs hole in English cricket and came up with the radical idea of going off and playing meme tournaments like everyone else in the world but the english did and made himself absolutely indispensable to their white ball setup rather than just being another not bad not great bat

What's on your Spotify /cric/?

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Without knowing much about the hundred I've always wondered if they wanted to set up a t20-like structure based out of a few big population centres instead of the domestic county system like literally every other country has done but the counties kept cucking them by clinging onto the vitality blast so they said fuck it then we'll make a new format to make yours redundant

Bowling XI
Dale Steyn
Kapil Dev
Joel Garner
James Anderson
Michael Holding
Vernon Philander
Glenn McGrath
Muttiah Muralitharan
Anil Kumble
Nathan Lyon (Wk)
Shane Warne (c)

Batting XI
Alastair Cook
Sunil Gavaskar
Rahul Dravid
Steven Smith
Donald Bradman
AB de Villiers (Wk)
Michael Hussey
VVS Laxman
Steve Waugh (c)
Kevin Pietersen
Younis Khan

By no means are their positions solidified, if you feel like they change, but who would win between the two teams? Tried to avoid using All Rounders as that defeats the purpose

pavement
tool
the 1975
mercury rev
and nick cave

Just found out Warnie is coaching a Hundred team lads, disregard my skepticism earlier I'm now a full fledged supporter and I'm looking forward to its inevitable success.

issue is the batting I reckon

Australian bowling is always strong in England, but the English batsmen do a decent job of standing up against it while the Australians outside edge their way to a series defeat in swinging conditions with a Dukes ball. Smith aside, it was no different this series, probably worse than most other series even 2015. Australia's bowling was better than usual, but hardly dominant as the struggles against the tail showed. for >us, it was a pretty typical tour of England and for the English bowlers it was a pretty typical home ashes. trouble is England no longer has any test quality batsmen barring le fifty and out man

mate younis khan was a bit shit
mo yousuf was way better

p sure he just got bounced out every innings lad

Which team lad? gonna follow that one intently

that's how it was first announced it was meant to be that for a few years, then the 100 got pulled out of their arse

it's more to have something of a shorter length to get it on BBC I reckon though

my films of 2019 that will get oscar nominations XI

Booksmart
Midsommar
Joker
John Wick 3
Shazam
Rocketman
How To Train Your Dragon 3
Alita: Battle Angel
Captain Marvel
Avengers: Endgame
Toy Story 4

>no Mitchell Johnson (season of 2013/14 vintage)

Shit selection 2bh

Younis was good but doesn't rate with the greats actually a bit of a laughable proposition. de Villiers, Laxman, KP and Hussey too. you're missing absolute titans of batting like Viv Richards and so on, bit of a shit fucking list mate don't think I'll be perusing the bowling XI

yeah englands batting is at its nadir right now . literally no good players in county cricket and we only have one good bowler in archer

Think the bowling elevan would win in a tight contest

is warne not the bloke who said teams don't need coaches and reckoned his aunt could do the job better than most coaches

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slow day at work
6th cigarette of the day on the cards

The "London Spirit" - great name I know, also Lehmo is coaching the "Northern Superturbos" so that's another one to look out for.

>Originally envisioned as a twenty20 tournament, concerns over the relevance of the current competition structure and the opportunity to attract new fans prompted the England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) to propose a shortened format.
you're right, really strange
they do keep quoting that three hour timeframe

Reminder that England did this
>We are the ultimate test

mirror.co.uk/sport/cricket/england-select-unchanged-squad-fifth-19912344
>huge concerns over Ben Stokes' shoulder
So much for another miracle

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younis was a flat track bully . mo yousuf was so much better than him its unreal

his position was always that he was talking about international level
if you're good enough to make it to the national test team you probably don't need much coaching, and the head coach should be more of a 'manager' role, dealing with mentality etc

>On 21 February 2019, the ECB confirmed revised playing conditions in which there would be 10 ten-ball overs with bowlers delivering 5 or 10 consecutive balls.
What the fuck I thought it was all 6 ball overs and then a 10 ball one at the end
This is a fucking awful idea

Yeah and since he coached a bunch of literal whos to a victory or near victory (can't remember) in the first IPL WHILE PLAYING - I'd say he was right.

Trying to not pick all the obvious choices for batting, as their is a lot of talent in batting
Same with Pace Bowling depth, which is why i picked Vernon in it because i don't see many people rate him but i honestly think he is a great bowler

my problem with cricket has always been that there aren't enough formats and the schedule isn't congested enough

and he only took that stance because buchanan made him run laps at training once

waqar>wasim
yousfuf>younis

simple as

he's good but does not fit in with the greats, wasn't even the best bowler in his team

they're obvious choices for a reason mate

M8, if i could pick the best season for each player, the lists would be completely different
Overall is the goal

>the coward Joe Root flogs another star bowler into the ground

Based saboteur captain.

In what mathematical way would that make 100 m8?

10x10 is 100

How long until PNG get Test status, fellas?

Yeah but it gets boring seeing the same lists over and over again

then pick someone like andy flower or chaminda vaas not fucking younis khan

or Ian Bell

nah fuck ya that season was up there with the best fast bowling of all time and your stupid rules don't allow you to pick him on that then you're a gay cunt and I hate you

based poocastle poof

15 overs of 6 and one of 10 dickhead

hahah what would be the point

or dravid for that matter

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They should call up Ian Bell for the Test side again lads
Seeing his cover drive got me into Test cricket

come post in my thread

Hope Dutch Afghan lad is proud of his team

I was going to add Andy Flowers actually, for a bit of the ZimZam love, but it is fun seeing people hate on Younis Khan
Also never heard of Chaminda Vass tbqh

This may be some scheme of Broad's to ensure he will be selected.
>I'm a little tired Joe, maybe give the negro or Stokes another bowl
>why, I am the only bowler left who is fresh and injury free, guess I shall take the new ball

youtube.com/watch?v=xTpB3bAGrI0
deserves a ranking just for allowing this to happen

For one season it was, compare that to the rest of his career though, would he really do it again?

none of it makes any sense but that was the original idea

george bush on suicide watch
john mcain on suicide watch
john bolton on suicide watch
sebbo on taco bell watch

aghanistan on glorious ascension watch

always remember his full name thanks to this video

vintage zachy bomb this

Wait, who is playing?

what about if you alternate bowlers every 7 balls (14 overs total) but change ends every 8 balls (12 end swappies total) except for the last over which is 9 balls and the last end swappy which is 12 balls - which brings the total up to 100 balls.

I think that would really simplify the format for younger players.

Is she the ultimate cricketfu?

john mccain is already dead

Well its a good scheme because it's working for him.

no sune is

I think the younger generations should be deprived of their memehit tournaments and be forced to enjoy first class cricket under penalty of a savage beating

>who is Holly Ferling

Cunt.

Hearty kek
Why do Sri Lankan's have such ridicolous names though

Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas

>that intro

Thanks for giving me aids cunt, next time give me a FUCKING WARNING of where to skip to.

because they spent thousands of years separated from the european continent and don't follow our cultural norms

youtube.com/watch?v=JUjIM-GFWhk
might prefer this one

good

she plays divegrass and is therefore not pure

Gotta love the English media seethe at Smith taking the mickey

mirror.co.uk/sport/cricket/steve-smith-mocking-jack-leach-19911697
>Reacting to Smith's impression, the Australian's shouted "come back Smithy" and "no ball" in a sly dig at Leach's failed attempt to get the batsman out at Old Trafford.
>They also sang songs including one chant which went: "Who did we beat? England. How did we do it? Easy" before doing press-ups.

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>implying I don't already know the moth joke
no no no, I wasn't complaining that he took too long to get to the punchline, I was complaining about that stupid intro some muppet edited into the beginning of the upload.

Hello. A while back /cric/ posters were making a concentrated push to get more people into /cric/ and if possible, to watch your sport

I was just wondering how that turned out for you guys? Are you seeing the benefits?

Neither of them have a Wikifeet page. Checkmate, retards.

based reditor

our media did the same thing with Archer mocking Smith in the nets, literally no one cares

>athlete feet
nasty

Yes. Cricket is now the world's most popular sport.

got you in here didn't it

Athlete feet can be good. Alex Morgan's are fantastic, as are Eliza McCartney's.

Is that Thomas Keneally's granddaughter?

>Athlete feet can be good
Gross.

Congratulations
haha yeah good one
Shut up you don't know who you're messing with ok

big fan of guptill's

Le two toes man

oh yeah, this is definitely the post

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Martin?

youll be a capitalist until you have some cringe arse middle manager bossing you around even thoughs he younger and more stupid than you
you'll be a capitalist until you watch indians in textile factories literally slaving away for a pittance
youll be a capitalist until you realise how depressed waking up at 6am and being told told to be somewhere at a certain makes you feel

We need the cricket on the telly not behind a paywall. I'm working on laws here to make everything shown first in Irish on TG4, don't reckon sky will bother their holes hiring Irish commentary.

Seeing more English posters and that's a good thing

so true

is there an ideology where I can just sit at home and smoke weed and masturbate but still be given money for it?

I wish she'd appeal like that for my LBW if you know what I mean...

didn't know guppy was missing three toes

reckon socialism might be the one you're after mate

Self investment after winning lotto

this is now a Holly thread

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ok how do i win the lottery

There's room for both

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The Aussie girls at Old Trafford yesterday all looked like they had a bit of Lebanese or Abo in them - where are all the blonde Aussie girls?

Attached: holly kek.webm (854x480, 153K)

going to devote my life to communism and learning fluent french

Players exposed in this series:
>Warner
>Archer
>Tim Paine's captaincy
>Nathan Lyon
>Joe Root's captaincy
>Starc
>Buttler
>Bairstow

Miss Anyone?

one in six aussies don't know that their father is not their dad

you're right

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I'll take the one who doesn't fuck Coconut niggers thanks

Good fact.

Super Jofra Archer going out for 1 yesterday lol

both teams' entire middle order

>save Smith and Labuschagne

Which one is that?

For me, it's Lauren Cheatle and Maitlan Brown

>Archer
>Bowling average under 20
>Strike rate 43
>16 wickets in 3 matches
>Exposed
What did he mean by this?

Definitely Wade. cunt was banging on to the press having a whinge about left out of the test squad for months after his good shield performances only to be called up for the ashes and underperform with the bat.

England team for the last test has to be:
>burns
>sibley
>denly
>root
>stokes
>pope
>foakes
>curran
>archer
>leach
>bread
Anything else would be the selectors being mental midgets

>Still has yet to get Smith out even when he was throwing his wicket away for quick runs

>Doubting The Brains Trust Inc.
Shame on you user, leave it to the guys who are smarter to select the playing XI

literally havent even heard of three quarters of these cricketers
just shows how far english has fallen

True, one ton in the first test and then absolutely fuck all

>Joe Root's captaincy
>implying it hasn't been exposed for years

sibley, pope and foakes aren;t in the squad m8
they announced an unchanged squad from the triumph of old trafford

He said "All things pass into the night"
And I said
"Oh no sir, I must say you're wrong
I must disagree
Oh, no sir, I must say you're wrong
Won't you listen to me?"

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Based Cazzie

Mate Cummins couldn't even get Smith out. Smith chooses hinself when he wants to leave the crease.

Why hasn't the coward Joe Root resigned yet?

Lloyd Pope is Australian m8

Fellas, I can go to one of the following. Please help me decide which, as I need to book soon:

20-25 Nov Test, NZ vs England @ Tauranga
28 Nov - 3 Dec Test, NZ vs England @ Hamilton

Any one of the South Africa Tests in SA
(Centurion, Cape Town, Port Elizabeth or Jo'burg)

Dirty cazzie, sibley is the top scorer in the CC this year, pope averages 60 in FC cricket and foakes averages 40 in test cricket and he’s probably the best WC in the world.

how can you call me a cazzie when i literally cried pure god's water over afghans victory over bangladesh a few hours ago
i havnt heard of them because theyre all literally shitters

SA will be more interesting.
NZ will win their series in a whitewash.

so true

Wk lol he’s not a toilet xd

Who has?

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NZ but not sure which one.

How the fuck are we so decent at ODI but so shite at Test, at the moment?

Tauranga is bigger I think, so more chance for drinks and shit.

Your test cricket is good it's just that Australia have Smith

Why wasn't Smith that great in the World Cup?

waht you meant to say is we are rubbish but usually good enough to roll teams over at home just about

If they've never played a test match they're not worth talking about simple as

Tauranga lad.

We've literally focused on one at the expense of the other. Test bowling usually relies on Broad and Jimmy who don't play ODI and are unaffected.

toil on the morrow

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For me comparing test cricket to odi is like comparing rugby to sevens rugby.

Basically what the other Bong said. If the overall standard was higher, we'd get trounced by every fucker and their dog.

Yeah, but why? I guess ODI is probably better for financial reasons.

Have you been?

the 40 hour working week is literally barbaric . the only reason i get through is because i have a xanax addiction and honestly i wouldnt care if i got exposed

this is indeed the post

GOOOOODBYYYYYEEE HOOOOORRRSSSSEEEES
I'M FLYING OVER YOUUUUUU

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grim
just drink like a normal person

Steve Smith exposed for being the best.

Other way around. Only Associate Members are worth discussing. Purest form of cricket.

>Yeah, but why? I guess ODI is probably better for financial reasons.
I think it's the result of a self-fulfilling prophecy - decades of dumbcunts saying the death of test cricket is just around the corner (despite evidence to the contrary) has led to a mentality among cricket board members that they may as well treat it second rate.

A real fucking shame - how long until they try and make the Ashes a series of ODI matches?

Virat Kohli inadvertently exposed, only averaged 60 in his tour there but was supposedly playing 'great'.

he got a golden duck in one of the tests too

gooooooooooodbye horses

thoughts on a stiltz home elevator? seems a little dangerous 2bh

>Have you been?
Nope

>twitter.com/beastieboy07/status/1170783990611087360?s=20

>"What do we eat? Muscles."

Wtf do they mean by this?

>Nope
ok

Kek, why that one then?

mussels lad

I agree, but I'd expect the best rugby players to excel in rugby sevens.

a lot to unpack here

honestly cant stand this fraud but those are some nice jeans
anyone know where to cop?

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Because shitspouter will probably be there

Does anybody here actually watch shit local cricket? How good is cricket near you?

yes mate I can differentiate all jeans without a logo or anything

Tauranga is NOT bigger and you've all been meemed to death by that one dumbfuck on here. All the bars shut at 1am and the only place open after then is a pseudo knock-shop called Bobbies ($40 blowies from the dancers though, so it's not all bad).

Hamilton is a shithole, but it's a shithole that's utter fucking kino for test match cricket. Some of the best test cricket I've ever seen has been there. Me and the flatties would skive off law school, drive down on Friday morning for cricket and then paratroop the bars. There used to be a strip club called Firecats there which was surprisingly enough, in an old firehouse, but gentrification took it away from us.

all these guys filming would really put me off

local cricket is notoriously fucking trash here. based cumGOD grew up around here and moved away to get better because there was no competition

Sometimes they do sometimes not, depends on the player and those big fat slow lads can be elite but shit at sevens, some of the very best and highly rated sevens guys never play in a rugby test. They're virtually separate sports.
Erm, I think the difference between sevens and rugby is greater than the difference between odi and test cricket though.
A funny answer would be that he's not as comfortable with the pyjamas.

problem solved and fuck Tauranga

Just look H&M tier or something mate.

DESU I'll take that, Hamilton sounds like a laugh, on that basis. Slightly closer to Auckland as well, which is useful in terms of getting there. How good are Kiwi fans for staying out late after matches?

I live fucking ages away from any of the major counties in England, so I'm literally watching shithouse village cricket unless I want to travel for an hour to watch Lancs.

Anyone heard from Sebbo recently?

who cares

I stopped drinking and feel much better. Only downside is that with all the extra energy and money I now have I tend to bang whores every weekend instead.

wish i lived in a cute English village desu

>I stopped drinking and feel much better
placebo probably from not drinking enough

hope he's dead

It's comfy here, up in the hills, and still very nice, but not good for anything except local cricket.

He ate himself

Is a slightly thicc, cricket-obsessed Pakistani girl gf material?

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I studied in Auckland, and a lot of my best mates were airline pilots, and it so happens that both Hamilton and Tauranga were hubs for the regional airlines they were flying for. The hungover drive back to Auckland on a Sunday afternoon was nearly 90 mins faster from Hamilton than it was Tauranga.

I won't bore you with the NZ real estate market, but both places are now filled with former Aucklanders if you're worried about either town being provincial. You'll have fun in both, no doubt.

Depends on how late you want to stay out? They're both sub 250,000 population, so I wouldn't plan on a big night unless it's a Friday or Saturday.

Yeah fuck it whatever makes ya happy lad. Don't be asking here for decent advice.

no sorry

if you like her then yeah

Yes

Show us pak1.jpg

>ethnic gf
ah yes, the second prize

Probably better than your typical Angloid desu. Even in Australia you usually want to go for a girl with some kind of continental European admixture.

I'd be fine with it being provincial - I've never been to NZ before, so it would be kind of cool to see it whatever it's like. I'm sort of into smaller places anyway, but in terms of Test Cricket, Hamilton seems like it'll be the better choice.

I know a bit about NZ politics/real estate though from chatting to NZ folks online for years, and so I know a bit about that sort of thing. Is it easy to/worth going to the north coast while I'm there? Since it's such a long flight, I may well stay a few days either side of the Test.

I'd probably just want to go to pubs to chat, most nights, but one or two nights out might be good as well.

european isnt ethnic mong

>only the Anglos slating it
Why are Aussies so much more realistic about the state of Anglo women?

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No but I'm assuming there aren't too many nice euro girls is most of the UK (London excepted). In Australia the white population is basically a bit mixing pot.

We have other white women available to compare them against.

my negative reply was actually a commentary on the absurdity of the situation, by saying 'no sorry' the humour comes in the fact that me, an anonymous poster you have never met, is making the final call for you
tl;dr 2deep4u

Loads of Poles/Romanians/Bulgarians about, but shit ones. A few nice Western Euros in all of the major uni cities.

yeah mate theres absolutely no european girls in the uk outside of london.

So do we, but only Eastern Europeans, and their cast offs.

I've always been fond of Croatian girls

cricket

What's your trip for? Hopefully not JUST for the criccy? What do you mean by north coast?

Does Starc have any sisters that play cricket?

hate it

yeah Lauren Cheatle is his sister

Disappointed no-ones posted the Starc cumshot tribute this thread desu.

Cricket is the big thing, but also just looking for an excuse to holiday. I basically like all sorts - hiking especially, but new places as a whole are always great fun. Northland and the Bay of Plenty are the main ones that I've heard good things about.

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Based

North Island maybe

Definitely Cape Town or Port Elizabeth, I'd do the latter

Best accent in our anglosphere is the defo the sarf afrikan one. The worst is the Australian of course

Hmmmm

Which Australian one is the worst though, there are at least 3.

no there arent lets be honest here

You're kidding right? Someone from Melbourne sounds completely different to a bloke from rural Queensland.

Yea my folks have a couple of beach houses up north, it's a good spot. But seriously, the south island shits all over the north, as far as first time tourist destinations go. (Pic related is me "working" at my folks place up north).

I think you'll be seriously pissed off if you come all this way to NZ and don't spend most of your time in the South Island. Hell, most of us still in the North Island are trying to work out how we can move down there and still make the same coin.

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All the lads are here

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No

He’s not lying

...

Mate... I mean, look up youtube videos of Hugh Jackman and someone like Bob Katter or even Steve Irwin and tell me they sound the same.

Absolute state of the floor and those feet. Why no shoes or socks on? rank.

Labuschagne looks so pure lads, i never want to see him hurt

Langer is a homosexual footfag

Bit concerned by how many of them have their mouths open.

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even a non-Australian would be able to differentiate between the North Queensland and South Australian accents
could excuse you for not picking up on the Western Australian one