/heem/: What if the USA mens team wins the 2022 world cup edition

Conor is retired.

Go go conner

also, my captcha was busses... coinkidink?

r8 this card

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2019 is the year of the gruesome injury

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USADA, Brazilians are the dirtiest cheaters in the sport. They’re nothing without their steroids.

Has anyone actually hard Matt Hughes speak since his accident

now russians dominate, how ironi

c

5/10 - Great Main Event, meh Co Main, and based Perreria

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I wish I hadn't

He did a phone interview with Ariel I think, his speech was very labored and stuttered. About 9 months ago I think

he speaks like a retard now. like for real

the real winner here is the person who took this picture

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youtu.be/MMhieQNIYsc?t=93

He sounds like he rides the short bus now

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Why is Uriah Hall so far down the card. He should be co-main event instead of WMEMEMA

jesus

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>Todd Duffee

What year is it?

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Poor guy

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Full camp Al wins the rematch

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This girl is so bland that her nickname comes from something Cormier came up with out of boredom. I find Rose to be shallow and pedantic.

How come guys like Bisping, DC, Chael etc had still talk hours and hours?

Meanwhile many other fighters like Tito, Chuck, bj or schaub don't seem to know where they are.

How does cte work?

Titos always been based
Chuck has gone through two careers worth of CTE
Schaub has had about five with football and MMA

Don't ever speak about my girlfriend in that tone, I'll put the swiss holes in you sweden chessed

depends on the fights they been in and how intense their sparring during training camps were.

what's that even feel like? being drunk all the time? god damn meatheads

I swear, fighters who go into fights on short notice do better than fighters with full camps.

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Aye, most head trauma happens during training

are women fighters legit? Can some regular joe schmo beat up a woman fighting champion? I'd like to step in the ring with Amanda Nunes to really see if my prevailing theory holds any weight. I think that I, a regular guy with some alright cardio endurance, and highly rudimentary boxing skills, could beat up a professional female boxer/mixed martial artist.

I mean, despite all the skills of someone like Ronda Rousey or Amanda Nunez, they are still just women. Nothing they do will overcome that weakness. I'm still simply a man, and naturally stronger than either of them. I think I could just overpower any grapples they might try on me, and I have some good reflexes so I think I can Muhammad Ali my way out of all their punches. All in all, I think in a fight with any of the top female fighters, I'd come out looking like Sugar Ray Robinson despite being a total noob.

post pictures and video of your technique manlet

cte only affects people already born retarded

Do you really think you are the first guy to come up with this theory? Unfortunately, I think you are wrong. But there will be no definitive answer to this until it actually happens

Why'd you do this to me

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pic doesn't match the video. did she lose weight?

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>highly rudimentary boxing skills
let me stop you right there buddeh. there's no such thing.

Choo choo motherfucker

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bisping was hosting on fox a week after the gastelum ko and the cte was quite evident. it ebbs and flows.

kek

Bispking is literally CTE proof thats why

youtube.com/watch?v=idzD8JIdCxM

...

i cant boy covington anymore now that he has ducked Snoozeman again
idk what hes so scared of just kick his skinny little legs off, he has bum knees too

Jesus

So is Dustin not a legit black belt?

Nunes or Valentina would KO/submit basically any untrained man. No amount of strength makes up for a total lack of skill.

A 6' tall man with a few years of training and some amateur fights could take them.

we dont practice getting humped against a cage in practice

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Most people can go to decision with Khabib though, Dustin constantly gave up his back, put himself into worse positions and exposed his neck.

Thing is, Khabib has literally NOTHING for Tony. Tony owns him anywhere.

1. On the feet. Tony pieces up khabib and his sambo SHITboxing. Khabib will not be able to find where he's coming from. His face will get torn up from elbows. His elusiveness will have Khabib crying to his corner after one round.

2. Wrestling. Okay, Khabib is good at this, we get it. But Tony is a NCWA wrestling champion and he played football. He easily has enough experience to stuff Khabib's takedowns and keep the fight standing.

3. On the ground. Tony is a KILLER here. Everyone tries to stand back up when Khabib is on them, which gasses them. Tony don't give a fuck. He will stay in guard and MURDER khabib with ELBOWS. His submission threat is like NOTHING khabib has ever experienced before. HE IS A 10TH PLANET BLACK BELT. There is no shortage of ways Tony can win from here.

4. Conditioning. Tony is a freak. Once he starts, he never stops. He IMPROVES over rounds. Khabib's only chance is to get a flash KO (he wont). Tony is an animal.

5. The X-factor. Khabib's whole deal is that he's a Russian "tough guy." I'll give him that. But Tony is a literal PSYCHOPATH. Khabib has never been locked in a cage with SOMEONE LIKE TONY!

It's time for the real champ to step up!

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Nunes could beat a man of similar size and weight. Any athletic 5'10 190lb guy could crush her

BJJ doesnt really focus on wrestling leg rides, since the rule set in their sport doesnt reward ride time like the various wrestling styles

Its being exploited for the last 4 years now and a lot more wrestlers do what high school freshmen learn and its how to ride. mix in punching and leg rides are now a devastating technique to add to a MMA fighter's tool kit

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Al gave his back away a lot too. But Dustin completely heemed himself on a hail mary guillotine and had nothing left in the tank when Khabib got out of it

SHOULDA STAYED OFF THE TRACKS WHEN THE TRAIN WAS COMING THROUGH JUNIOR

Imagine her straddling you saying "yeah suck my tits, suck my tits"

I remember RDA did the same, but he just seemed to stop so much more of Khabibs game. I think I really overrated Dustin's BJJ.

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>"And you know that's always the question with a rising star like Adesanya—is can he deliver when the moment finally arrives. You know we saw what happened with someone like Darren Till in his fight against Woodley, the way he wilted under that opportunity... there's that leg kick again by Adesanya"
>"Joe, he's really finding his range with that but Whittaker has been—ooh! right there! you see!? with that slip, and that right hand, Whittaker's been finding that all night as well. Israel's gonna need to adjust to that if he wants to do this for five rounds"
>"Exactly, when you've got a guy like Robert Whittaker in front of you, you can't afford to make mistakes like that. And I think Adesanya knows that, you see he—"
>*commentating team laughs*
>"Yeah he pointed, he knew it! Props to Whittaker"
>"And you've gotta give it to Adesanya there, always a showman"
>...
>"OH! another right by Whittaker, he's found his range there! OHH HEADKICK! OH HE'S ROCKED, ISRAEL WALKED RIGHT ONTO THAT!"
>"OH WHITTAKER'S PUTTING THE PRESSURE ON HERE JOE!"
>"HE KNOWS THAT—"
>"THAT'S RIGHT! HE KNOWS HE'S GOT HIM HURT HE'S PICKING HIS SHOTS, LOOK AT HIM staying patient, stalking Israel against the cage—OHHH!! THAT'S IT HE'S ON HIM, HE'S ON HIM!"
>"NASTY ELBOWS! OH! OH MY GOD! THIS IS GUNNA BE STOPPED! WHERE'S THE REF THIS—"
>"THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT!"
>"WELL AND HERB DEAN HAS CALLED A STOP TO THIS CONTEST HERE RIGHT IN THE LAST MINUTE OF OUR THIRD ROUND AND PERhaps to the surprise of no one Robert Whittaker has put on a champion display here for the home crowd in Melbourne, Australia!"

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Not good

Polyana Viana literally beats a hardened br criminal iwht her bare arms, and she's a straw weight okeish fighter, I'm pretty sure the average guy is fucked no matter how bad ass you pretend to be.

Conor's brown belt jiu-jitsu is clearly demonstrably better than Dustbin's black belt fur sure but I think you'd be surprised about the effects the humidity had on his game b
Was a beast of a heat

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>fanfic jap
thanks for letting me know to put my money on the nigger

RDA's MMA grappling even for a BJJ black belt has a lot of wrestling based techniques and tactics. For example RDA likes going for 2 hands on attackers 1 arm when defending take downs. He just doesn't sprawl or pull guard but he pummels and controls his head elevation which relieves some of the pressure from wrestlers (like when he was going against Convington) however he doesn't have the raw athletism that fighters from wrestling backgrounds have and can fade when pressured like against Colby.

Dustin's MMA grappling is BJJ based and you can see a lot of sport BJJ habits sprinkled in, the way he regains guard from being takedown, the way he automatically gets his butterfly sweeps or laces his like for DLR guard. a few inversions to feint a leg lock attack.

I give him and his coaches props they were trying to create scrambles with Khabib and invested time in doing switches which are viable ways to open scrambles against's Khabib's leg rides but Dustin panic and became discouraged with them round 2 and stop looking for switches. The next evolution for his MMA grappling would either to granby roll or funk roll and chain it into his switches.

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>people legitimately believe poirier did better than Conor

Based

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Khabib played it really safe against McGregor first round.

No wmma so that's good

conor held his shorts the entire time

khabib is even better now

Yeah, McGregor got dropped as well. He was truly dominated. They both had poor showings. But I think people need to stop underestimating McGregor's ground game, it's only when he's gassed it looks bad.

Based

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Did she died?
And is that Thug Rose?

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Habib will duck Tony

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Conor would have tapped to that

He should have taken Khabib's back when he had the chance, just imagine the amount of shitposting he would have been able to do with photos of him backpacking Khabib

2019 really is the year of the manlet

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This wasn't really a bad switch attempt. Its hard to describe to people who haven't train but Khabib demonstrates an insane sense of tacticle feel and timing and was able to flow with Dustin's switch momentum and ride the energy and climb onto his hips.

Dustin could have chained grappled at this moment and hip heist (kick his own right leg over and hook Khabib's leg) to leg ride Khabib

This attempt isnt bad either, Dustin could have swam his right arm over it would have give his back, but it would have been a slightly better option to concede then a mounted ride, and then he could have attempted another reversal/switch

Rewatching both attempts i get a better feeling that Poierer was a tad jittery or anxious cause most likely his coaches or even himself knew or in hindsight without pressure the chain in the next combination of counters to Khabib riding out the switch

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NOTORIOUS

That ref finally let his instinct take over and jump into a black boi getting roughed up by a white man

>there are still people who believe Conor wouldn't beat Khabib
Conor would unironically steamroll Khabum if he hit the treadmill and worked up a semblance of cardio

People underrate Gooby's grappling so hard. There's a reason numerous black belts say he's elite. It's his cardio that fucks him over.

3/10
main event is the only thing worth watching, if that

She would grab a single leg, take him down, and submit him in 30 seconds, unless the guy had trained MMA for some time and knew how to defend (maybe 0.1% of the male population). You're talking about a decent sized woman who has been training and fighting at the highest level for years (wmma, but still). Top female fighters spar with men on a regular basis, and we're talking about pro male fighters, not random dudes off the street.

I hate
>wmma
as much as the next guy, but it requires complete ignorance of fighting to suggest an average man with zero training would beat her.

...

>Amanda tries to grab fat old boomer's leg and hump him to the floor
>he cracks her in the jaw with fat old boomer strength and knocks her out

Between coke and booze he's flushed himself m8. He could've been the goat, now Tony is the only guy that can beat Habib. Habib will duck him though.

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in between rounds his corner told him to grab the leg. you can see in both attempts he did try to grab the leg but khabib saw it coming a mile away and lifts his left leg high off the canvas.

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she's about to discover that she's not actually a draw.

Based, Poosman needs to be stripped

>How can you punch old people when you are one of the best fighters in the world? You can touch people and this guy can die you know.
based Khabiblet admitting that GOATor is best in the world and can also one hit kill people

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Dustin was having a mental breakdown and you could here him argue with his coaches whenever they suggested anything. Even one of the announcers said they notice that Dustin was arguing with his own cornermen

>Poosman

He goes by "Snoozeman"

forrest griffin confirmed that conor could have easily escaped this and thus khabib's win was a fluke

People call Gooby a heartlet and there is now a whole narrative about Le Dustin Ded Beddur Dan McTapper Lol!!! but Dustin was completely fucking lost and looked over at his corner constantly literally asking them to tell him what to do

Actually it’s Kashartmu Poosman cazzie

>not knowing it's Marty Fakenewsman

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I am a Muslim and supporter of Khabib. I have been having profane thoughts about WMMA fighters and would ask nicely that you do not post any more sexy pictures of WMMA fighters or female commentators, as it is haram for me to look at them. Thank you! Alhamdulilah!

Dustin was a wreck in there. you could just look at the way he was throwing his punches in round 2 when he had khabib in a bit of trouble. so sloppy and wild. did not look like the punches he was throwing against holloway or gatjche when he had them in trouble

she's getting paid a ton to heem cans. it's a win win really.

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How about this?

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unironically who cares about cybrog anymore?
especially in bellator

main event banger
nikita never went to decc win or lose
todd duffee guranteed heem
pereira crazy knockouts
misha crute decent
7/10

Lellator is still clinging onto the corpses of Fedor and Rampage so Cyborg is actually a big win for them

He was tired and desperate. His footing also looked off a bit in that round, mustve rolled his ankle

damn dustin did that well?
youtube.com/watch?v=mA0KLB_5VV0

Why the FUCK does nobody just walk up and just fucking HEEM Khabib?
Is Masvidal the singular man to realise this gameplan against wrestlers? Just fucking saunter over and HEEM them for fucks sake its not hard

They know ALLAH would heem their LIFE.

youtube.com/watch?v=9xwTHeJmrlk

WAR TONY

KHABIB IS
FINISHED!

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That’s why he’s ducking the rematch. He felt the BIC and the power behind an unmotivated Conor with a broken foot. His chin cracked and Dustin nearly shattered it. Khabib knows he will sleep next time.

This.

Based

there's no riding in freestyle or greco dumbfuck, and only americans do folk

Khabib does his takedowns completly different then Askren.

Khabib actually punches and gets a reaction from his opponents. Making them move their heads or feet pretty much offbalancing them and getting them out of a good stance then tackles. So landing a power flying knee becomes a lower chance of hitting. Unlike Ben who just bends over

kys larp faggot

Its confirmed matt hughes was trying to committ suicide right

I wish she had won

Have sex, loser

That’s what your sister is doing

Vancouver gets nothing good

Reminder Khabib can't make weight without 12 months preparation

It's a good fight night you cazzie chink.

See you in late 2020 for Kebab's next title defense against the most qualified featherweight

nigga u gay

Khabib's performance can only be sustained with at least 10 months of gratuitous tiramisu consumption prior to training camp.

In an MMA gym with rules, sure. In a street fight, 90% of men would fuck up a women's UFC champ. It's not a fair fight

this

Kek whoever TBD ends up being, they have no idea what they are getting themselves into and will get knocked the fuck out.

Peheira/10 will watch

not with the woman used a pipebomb

Nothing beats a well placed pipebomb
doesnt matter how big or strong you are
doesnt matter if you train for sport or street
doesnt matter if you are a man or woman
first person to make a pipebomb wins

>In a street fight, 90% of men would fuck up a women's UFC champ.
How exactly? Throwing sloppy haymakers that any trained fighter can see coming from a mile away?

worse part is nobody is going to nerf Khabib in the next patch release

Dustin won the story of the fight

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Conor will heem him. It's fate.

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>Implying Canbib won't get KO'd by bright green shorts Conor

>implying that UFC fighters have remotely high level boxing and don't constantly get knocked out by sloppy haymakers in the cage

Why did Eddie have to lose on purpose to Conor and then flee to China, leaving us with this fake lazy 155 paper champ

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Why would you give a serious answer to him?

>cries and retires like a bitch

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Crazy Horse would have kept going, what's with this "Felony" bullshit?

did he break both hands? yikes. terrible day at the office. that camsoda sponsorship should help him heal his wounds if you catch my drift.

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why do we fall?
> to get back up

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Dillon wins the rematch

you already know

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Sorry, Batfaggot. She isn't fighting again.

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Eddie Bravo said you don't even have to be funny to be a stand up comedian just good at public speaking and Schaub and Joe both got offended kek

BALLOON

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People who would expose Fraudbib badly:

>Tony
>gillespie
>Hall
>healthy Goober
>Tibau (already did once)
>GSP
>Masvidal
>Asken
>Colby
>Aldo
>Ortega
>Volkanoviski

He won the battle

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>MUH MEMES

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THREE TIMES THE SIZE

Was this /heem/'s finest hour?

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Tony ducks Khabib

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>Khabib won the fight
>Poirier lost the fight & the story
>Conor won the story

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>Conor wins the war

anyone mocking DP for crying doesn't know what it's like to dedicate your heart and soul to something and come up short

>that red belly
You just KNOW he got drunk and was walking around tensing up his abdomen and demanding everyone hit him there

I bet the crying lays in you if you're so willing to defend him. Do you need a tissue, faggot?

>coming up short
KWAB

He quit and I voided my boyhood contract with him

yes i do i'm about to bust one out to piper perri

link

Seems likes he hit close home since you need to prove your masculinity in such a childish way bro

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>mfw no need for tissues because I fap too often and am shooting blanks
coughing up dust tbqh

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He was a fucking sociopath with a fetish for raping women after surgery.

Autistic cumbrain detected.

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She actually passes for feminine with those clothes on.

maybe it's you who's false meaning hit close to home since it's not meant to prove my masculinity, why would it?

He's talking about the Dustin rematch.

Conor knows Tony is next in line.

I paid a fortune teller and the bitch told me Dillon Danis would be the man to stop Khabib

@ 1:56:30 youtu.be/Vmq87QcvSno

No one gives a shit about Tony except for limp-wristed Redditors. If they did, he would have had a title shot by now. I hope they pass him up 5 more times.

I do because people won't say Khabib is the best until he beats Tony

You don't speak for anyone besides yourself caz

Bet the house on TBD

Go spam "champ shit only" on YouTube comments, you drooling mongoloid.

Schaub its always making fun of Callen

Cry more baby boy

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You'll be crying when they give Conor a title shot instead of Tony. The only strap Tony's going to get is a straitjacket after he inevitably strangles his wife and son.

>mark my words
you said you'd beat jake shields

The key to beating khabib is body shots

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I'm sure. Keep fantasizing.

Tony will beat Khabib by jamming an elbow into his eyesocket

as bad as edson's robbery was, yoel's was worse

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Who will avenge the fallen warrior Dustin? Find out next time on UFC!

youtube.com/watch?v=kjvVmPbZdiQ

Derrick Lewis should just cut to 155 because he's the same height as James Vick

Khabib already ducked Tony in the octagon interview lmao
>So Tony is next?
>e-e-eh give me some time bahhhh i need vacation
Dude hasn't fought since 229, he should be fighting in msg

Yoel lost octagon control and aggression and was getting worked rounds 1 and 2. Costa also worked the body way more.

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decent storyboards but it's got a long way to go

Conor needs to give a rematch to Dustin Poirier or Jose Aldo before getting another "rematch until I get the result I want" fight with Khabib

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yoel lost

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just because you typed it doesn't make it true

>Bravo with a zoomer haircut
These fight companions are getting so embarrassing

Cap this goobs will win the rematch

>Yoel lost the irrelevant metrics
Cool

>Conor needs
He don't need to do shit if he's a draw.

Where did the bad redditors touch your virginity, user?

Yeah I just listen to them for the memes. Schaub had a stroke at one point at like 1:33:50 and then towards the end of the podcast Schaub says he has no signs of cte and everyone agrees kek

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Then the UFC needs to stop pretending the belt means anything if they're just going to go full WWE mode.

ortega

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>Irrelevant
They're part of what the judges go off of it's in the rules. Costa was actually landing power shots too while Yoel was landing mostly jabs.
Yeah I know, but I actually watched the fight

Dana White also said your mother didn’t drink bleach during pregnancy.

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I'd one hunnie percent wife Tecia if she weren't a dyke

The judges only judge something as arbitrary as those as a last resort if everything else is equal. Its also literally irrelevant as to what type of shots someone landed

Of course he would. Max is a bum, and not a lightweight. Khabib is the only logical fight, it's been due for way too long

Bader would have heemed flushed rampage would have been kino

>It's irrelevant as to what kind of shots someone landed
No it's not lol people get out-landed and win all the time because they're shots are doing more damage

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Cope

Exactly, so whether its a jab or “power punch” is irrelevant because you’re scoring damage, not contact

The belts have never meant anything. You'd think I wouldn't have to tell you that.

Have sex (consensual)

It's impossible to reliably score damage without differentiating what types of strike were thrown.

how much points does this move count?

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Seethe

Conor vs Nate 2 being the biggest card of all time for awhile proves this

Instant 10-8

If Some neutral guy would look at this photo he would never guess these are Some elite fighters. UFC is a meme

Is Bellator just a UFC knockoff? Some events had like 1000 people in the room, it is really sad

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna marry Joanne Calderwood.

It was a pretty shit fight and they hugged at the end and revealed it was all marketing so no. The decision made it funny though.

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Belts are for casuals with low-attention spans.

Its quite easy, you have functioning eyes and see how affected the fighter is from a punch (head snapping back, backed up, rocked). Its like you’ve never seen someone dropped by a jab

Masvidal is getting heemed by Nate

*The key to beating khabib is pic related

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Lose weight (in a safe way)

Pretty redpilled

I said the UFC needs to stop pretending (don't pay "champions" more because they are champinos, main events and belts don't need to go together at all... put a snoozefest belt in the prelims).

I never said they actually mean anything. Learn to read.

You'd be a fool to think I'm going to read that Reddit-spaced faggotry.

>It's a "UFC doesn't have a main event for MSG" episode

I'm beginning to think you can't read at all.

Mah bawls was hot.

reading and listening to cazzie MMA fans is one of the most depressing things ever

outside of the intellectual titans on /heem/ the average MMA viewer is low class, uneducated, and possibly even a th*rdie.

strip usman and make their own mainevent

man shes a qt

Khabib tapped

Godgregor STOMPS Canbib on the rematch

Tfw no stacked cards coming

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conor was never good

Seems like the pressure of the fight is lifted because they're never expected to do well. I bet months of studying opponents is stressful and even moreso when you have to recall their patterns in a fight

I want to make Georgian babies with Liana !

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She looks like fucking Borat.

ummmm no she doesnt!

fuck this poofc SHIT
when is ONE? when is RIZIN? i need real mma

You think Cormier came up with Thug Rose?
Are you serious?

>ummm
Quit talking like a basic bitch. Thanks.

msg shaping up pretty well

Based ChinkMMA bro
Next ONE fc event in 2 weeks, no RIZIN until October

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>basic bitch
Oof!

white fever princess

What fights announced aside from diaz/masvidal?

Oof back to R eddit, dumb cunt.

Minus wmma shit

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what the fuck happened to vodka?
he beat aldo in brazil

Lewis will heem Blagoy

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Don't sleep on Blagoy, goy

You just KNOW she got a taste of the Dragon

Delusional

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That's a good card way better that 242 was. Would have been card of the year if they could have gotten Colby Usman as the main with the rest staying the same. Sucks that fight isn't happening.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

this is actually real

twitter.com/thenotoriousmma/status/981790292343914496?lang=en

you need new friends

Khabib made him humble

Do you pick your friend's noses?

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Wouldn't surprise me any. There's sickfucks who enjoy popping zits for whatever reason.

bader's become a peach of a striker

>peach

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it's not my fault. Yea Forums and JAV have driven me to this level of degeneracy

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>most living organisms predominantly fight with their head and jaws
>headbutts and biting arent allowed in contemporary mma

waddawedoinere....
If you explained ufc rules to a rhino, he'd look at you and laugh, proclaiming its not a combat sport

Are we actually alive to see the resurrection of Conor?

That’s just pure coincidence

I would take the rhinos back and choke it out before it could make its stupid fucking rhino noises, its opinion is irrelevant

Good bait Faggot

youtube.com/watch?v=N7o4mtbb8uU

By using their weight against them. All you have to do is not eat a straight leg kick and you will be alright and able to drag them down by sheer weight and strength advantage.

I explain Yea Forums to a rhino and now he shitposts because it's so intuitive and natural. Janneys probably banned him though.

For me, its the Men's Lightweight Division.

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Banger main event, Krylov and CIrkunov kino, one more run at the strap Glover Teixiera.

How the fuck are Iaquinta and Kevin Lee ranked above cowboy? Cowboy just dominated Iaquinta.

He's the main character, we're the npcs

CTE is a myth

But we have opened the heads of a few people who had sharp behavioral changes, and the trauma was noted and measured.
CTE is documented, you just can't measure it until the guy is dead and you can open their skull.

how the fuk did he become IC?!?. ufc math fuking sucks

>Gaycheese
>Capoeira man
way better than 242, Gaycheese alone guarantees a spicy main event, no wmma is a plus. I smell plenty of heems in this card, 7/10 for now

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Sounds pretty convenient.

Seriously 242 was a boring card tbqh

It's real it's just overstated. Just listen to someone like Schlaub who clearly has cte vs someone like Alistair who has been knocked out way more often, but still sounds well spoken.

>mfw i named that picture BEFORE the hawaian heem accident

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Maybe he's just a dummy. You don't need head trauma to sound like a retard, if you are a retard.

I see what you did there at the bottom
>it's a heem solves shitty ref decisions episode
Need new colors for story won/lost, smaller icons in the background so that it won't get clogged like when Stipe flushed DC.

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They hand out black belts like they’re candy today. BJJ is a fucking meme and a shit martial art. What champion has BJJ as their base right now? No one, Jones is a blue belt for fuck sake.

BJJ works great on McDojo dads who have never even heard of a take down

Actually they just fought twice, and one won each time.

BJJ black belts don't train wrestling against the cage, with the option to get their face fisted.

Khabib is undefeated

"did nothing of note"
Defeated the GOAT of that division twice.

So, not a huge amount of defences, but she is still young. 27 so plenty of time to increase her record.
Btw, whats your biggest fame?

This is what your beloved bloodsport will lead you to.

You have to be a mental midget to not see Askren telegraph a takedown. At least khabib sets his up with a flurry.

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probably sparred too hard. Schaub doesn't seem like a guy who sparred hard but he already took hits in football.

You dipshit, he was struck by a train.

He's never been in a real fight, all cans. He's 0-0.

Schlub got the shit beaten out of him by Shane carwin frequently in sparring, he used to talk about it heaps on jre

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I don't see how you can look at this and not think welterweight is a deeper division. Pettis and Lee are both in welterweight now so they shouldn't even be in the top 10 and if you take them out the division looks even weaker. Cowboy started looking good again once he moved back down from welterweight to lightweight.

>>>

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Tito is based he doesn't have cte he just doesn't care enough about nerds to say everything correctly. CTE is probably influenced by genetic factors though. It's worth noting that Chuck relied on his chin his whole career and Schaub played football before mma and sparred with Shane Carwin. BJ has lost 7 in a row and has fought a shit ton and even fought Machida once.
DC hasn't taken much damage for a mma fighter. Chael really didn't get knocked out a lot so it's not surprising he's still ok. Bisping wasn't smart to begin with so no one would notice if he got cte. Bisping and Overeem are the only ones I'm surprised aren't CTEd to shit. It's probably like smoking cigarettes where cigarettes aren't guaranteed to give you cancer, but they just increase your chances drastically. There are people who smoke a ton throughout their whole life and never get cancer. Getting knocked out repeatedly probably isn't good for your head, but it also doesn't guarantee CTE.

Fuck is every division top heavy in the ufc now? At least WW has Maia who's still a motherfucker to fight even though he isn't ranked high and Askren is still better than someone like Felder tbqh. Do you have one for middleweight? That division seems deep, but it's probably really top heavy too.

But thats how good divisions look like. They are competitive. Everyone can lose against everyone else.
Khabib and JJones are are spoilers that ruin divisions, because they wont fucking lose.

streamable.com/tl92y

Yeah that's a good point. WW is my favorite division right now. I also just noticed that list was missing Edwards and there's also Gunnar Nelson in WW (who's not ranked high but he's still a fun fighter) so it's a pretty stacked division.

Its an older list that I added to. Also I marked Askren as beating Masvidal.

Not only was Carwin bigger and stronger than Schaub, he was also much smarter. Carwin currently works as a mechanical engineer, while Schaub makes a living displaying his cte symptoms. Schaub was mogged by Carwin in all ways.

Kek I just noticed that. Also forgot about Nate being in WW now too.

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Call me crazy but, I think the only fighter who can legit give khabib trouble is Woodley. He is explosive, has high punchers chance and solid takedown defence.

Is there a mistake with Askren/Masvidal?

What is the end result of a Khabib vs McGregor style neck crank if you don't tap?

Paralysis best case scenario

LMAO Dana says Colby isn't getting the title shot any more lmao
It's winner of Masvidal Nate

I should have phrased it better. I don't mean a life or death situation, more the step between that and tapping. The analogous example would be for the RNC the answer wouldn't be death by strangulation but that you go to sleep.

Ooooof, hes gonne make Dana's personal space great again.

Askren won the story

I was actually shocked that it turned out to be the case and in such a uniquely Askreneqsue way.

It's an old list that was memed on. It doesn't even have Edwards on it.

Well, my statement still stands. When u twist someones neck, u are actually damaging the infrastructure and not just temporarily prohibit its function. The consequences will only show up when its to late.

That's interesting. Do you think a broken/dislocated jaw is likely?

He can't even heem some old guy.

If we're talking about him fighting welterweights there are a ton of fighters who could beat him. Colby and Usman would demolish Khabib. Woodley would have a good chance because he has ko power, but he has a tendency to back himself against the cage every fight, which is what Khabib wants. It's why usman was able to clinch him against the cage so easily. Colby would pressure the fuck out of Khabib with volume and takedown attempts and Usman is too strong for Khabib he would out work Khabib in the clinch. Maia would be a wildcard to beat Khabib too.

She doesn't really love him if she can watch him fight. It's impossible to watch one of my boys fight live.

The neck is alot more vaunrable. And will respond to trauma first. The real danger is that the damage from a neck rank can disabled the person from tapping which in turn will cause further and perhaps permanent damage.

>LMAO Dana says Colby isn't getting the title shot any more lmao

where did he say that user?

Based emotionally invested fitefan™

Is taekwondo a meme?

Ask pettis

dat hair. dat body. dat grittiness.
>heems my heart

But Sergio is a can

It depends on how effective the neck crank is. If they're actually starting to twist your neck or in a position where they can do that you need to tap fast, but if they're just holding the neck crank it's mostly discomfort. The one Khabib had on Conor wasn't going to give him paralysis, but he always wasn't getting out of it.

a dirty move in the clinch against the cage, and Kongo is on the RECIVING end?! Oh wow

What would you say the result would be if he held that sucker another say 45 seconds?

That shitty Felder decision cost me a whopping £17.

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Woodley would murder kebab, unless he's actually flushed, which he probably is after Snoozeman

kill,fuck,marry

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Will she regret it when she misses weight by 1lb?

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This is what any decent grappler would have done: youtu.be/xLerGRhDuz8

lol i love nate but a title shot? lmao

based

so much better than those gracie analyses

Not after the ref let him get eye gouged. Fuck Mark that big retarded white nigger.

Is tony Ferguson our guy? I just realized how hilarious he is.

youtube.com/watch?v=sofZdV_wCZM

B A S E D
A
S
E
D

Khabib wins the rematch (of any match).

Khabib loses the MJ rematch

it was across his jaw and wouldve dislocated his jaw

Mini Khabib.

Kill fuck kill
Marry

canor fc is pretty gay lads

Khabib vs Artem lobov, now THATS the fight we want to see

Absolutely lmaoing at the state of your life if you honestly believe el cucky presents a threat to Khabib. Even if you’re an edgy contrarian who simply wants khabib to lose, there’s no way in hell Tony boy stand a chance, he doesn’t even deserve a breakdown because it’s so obvious that he won’t do shit.

The only props I’ll give him is that he’s durable, he probably won’t tap or get tko’d, but that’s about it.

They are making a comeback brother.

BMF BELT LIKE MY MARVEL MOVIES

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Ok cazzie

Yes. He's a walking meme but actually produces the spiciest fights.

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killing Grasso is a sacrilege man

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ALL SHE EVER WANTED WAS TO BE SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE

Special news, guys.

/Mygirl/ Nanaka has been honoured in being made a police chief for a day. She joins the high ranks of girls like Rena and Kanna, also /mygirls/.

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looking good brothers!

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Give me a competent example of how Tony wins.

Now get lost

Tony is the worst matchup for Khabib. It's a good fight. Khabib would only be a slight favourite.

Tony would have submitted Khabib

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1. khabib doesn’t really strike, he dips his head and throws overhands just to make you feel awkward

2. Kevin lee took down tony at will

3. You can’t submit someone when they’re pressing you against the cage

4. Khabib has looked good in many five round wars

5. Tony is a psychopath. He is, that’s why he gets dropped every fight on purpose.

pettis is like the archetype normal dudebro and he gets into a fight with the most autistic cunt ever who beats the shit out of him

its like the animes

>5. Tony is a psychopath. He is, that’s why he gets dropped every fight on purpose.
Tony is a luck machine. He won't keep getting away with it.

Not as much as when Bilbo stole her precious

youtube.com/watch?v=hkXlhB2bSZI

the fact eddie cant specifically describe any of fergusons training or diet tells me he has no fucking idea what the guy does

long limbs just give such a huge leverage

Look into it. And then GET HYPE.

youtube.com/watch?v=1W2EHIMf6vI

>kicks a metal pipe

haha ive seen this already but you forget just how nuts it is. im retarded and i wouldnt do that. i bet hes punched so many brick walls trying to get to the other side

I promise you if they fight khabib will be a massive favourite, Tony's age is getting up there and he's been rocked in almost all his fights+he seems to want khabib to take him down to try meme submissions on him, it's a bad mix

khabib retiring right now would be glorious his islamophobic virgin detractors would be left in an internal seethe

He said he's going to retire at 30. Probably would retire 28-0 after watching DC flushing his legacy

he's not falling for the double champ meme. he made it clear he's not fighting at 170 not even against 40 year old GSP. the only fight left for him is a balding middle aged schizophrenic fake mexican

Ironically, it will be his first loss too

he wont retire without one last run at Tferg. Its not possible. The guy is big on legacy and leaving that question mark will leave him unsatisfied.

After that.. its probably done. Askren ruined his unbeaten run so he aint worth fighting. GSP wont be able to cut down to 155. Holloway gave away lineal bragging rights through Poirier.
Id love to see him fight Covington but he wont risk it.

I'd call him a duck and say that he has only beaten nobodies and cans . I'd also say that he still has less title defenses than BJ Penn. Would be kinda bad for him to retire now, with an eventual win over Tony and 1 or 2 more title defenses he'd cement himself as the lightweight goat.

fuck dude.

>dodges two khabozo takedowns
>heems him with some spining shit
>AI TOLDZYOU TOILET EAGOL, I WAS NAT IMPREZSAD BAI YOIR PERFOUMENS

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LOL
he's either the best lw or tony is no one else is in the conversation

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Nate worked him into a shoot he's not showing up for that fight.

>twf when it's not 10vs1 and you see WW in front of you

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Tony time

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Iaquinta wins the rematch

Sad main event incoming. Either Clogboy got broken by Tony and gonna get worked by GayCTEche. No more runs for the strap left.
Or Gaycheese will start his gatekeeper quest of absorbing maximum CTE till he can't take it no more.
No lose fight but won story scenario, unless it's Rory vs Lawler tier banger.

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ep4 : Colby fuckin some pillow whores

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Joanna wins the re-rematch

I miss old UFC.

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Joanna Contender

>Has to defeat Michelle Watermom and a Chinese girl to regain her title

Strawweight really is a shit division. I hope she gets it back because everyone else other than Rose is a bum.

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Minna curse this thread

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>islamophobia

Not a thing, religion is bullshit regardless of how you feel about the existence of God, especially one as dumb as Islam. I’m sure there are lots of good Muslims out there but the world would objectively be better without Islam present in it

Not even a white nationalist lmao

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Any woman ever broke something in mma?

yea much closer to representing a real life fight and seeing which style was actually the best.

no eye pokes, biting and fish hooking are the only sensible rules. Everything else is retarded.
Kneeing and kicking a grounded opponent should be allowed, so heavily biased towards grappling having them banned.

lol Nate gonna kill this guy

Jorge Masvidal - "I'm Winning That BMF Title!" youtu.be/lODwOL7OteQ

>soccer kick to win

How about no

>letting yourself get soccer kicked

asking for it, get the fuck up or tap. Wasnt even a big deal in pride.

>You can see the exact moment, when she decided to heem dicks instead of 50 kilo girls

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This.

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>gets "injured"
>sits out for a year due to Ramadan
>takes the Conor rematch
>gets suspended after another chimpout
>retires while calling himself the GOAT

Is Tony the biggest cuck ever seen in MMA?

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There is supposedly a gene that makes some people more susceptible to CTE than others.

I never understood why groin strikes weren't common
>inb4 joesongroinpunch.webm

>letting yourself get soccer kicked
this, you can't just assume the fellatio position in the middle of a fist fight

Gift of the gab m8

No rules = best rules.

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Khabib has a massive cock and so do I.

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Poor nerdy nibba on the ground just wanted to get up

It's perfectly natty for guys to be 10% bodyfat, hulking and have cardio even after throwing haymakers consistently for 2 rounds. Ask Yoel.

Dude's just throwing leg kicks thinking they're Thai fighters without conditioning.

>Kissing in public is illegal and can result in deportation.[210] Expats in Dubai have been deported for kissing in public.[211][212][213] In Abu Dhabi, people have been sentenced to 80 lashes for kissing in public.[214] A new federal law in the UAE prohibits swearing in Whatsapp and penalizes swearing by a 250,000 AED fine and imprisonment;[215] expatriates are penalized by deportation.[215][216][217][218] In July 2015, an Australian expatriate was deported for swearing on Facebook.[219][220][221][222][223]

>During the month of Ramadan, it is illegal to publicly eat, drink, or smoke between sunrise and sunset.[237] Exceptions are made for pregnant women and children. The law applies to both Muslims and non-Muslims,[237] and failure to comply may result in arrest.[238] Dancing in public is illegal in the UAE.[239][240][241]

Reminder that the UFC spent an entire week promoting this barbaric desert shithole as a "friendly and welcoming" place.

And don't even get me started on that pathetic Muslim sycophant Anatomy of a Fighter.

You forgot to capitalize every word

Conor's tactical use of grabbing Khabib's gloves and shorts were incredible even allowed by Herb "Greatest MMA Ref" Dean.

Conor almost lost his arm in the second but gladly knee'd Khabib and risked a foul. Isn't he awesome? what a risk taker!

Then Conor planned to take Khabib's energy by absorbing strikes, confirmed by "Dominion" Dominic Cruz. What a mad lad.

Conor merely tapped because he got cageside info about his stock portfolio dropping from GSP. So he needed to log into his mutual fund and robinhood account. Khabib was lucky.

Dude you're fucking PISSED

I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING (YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU)!!

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Is that Krazy Horse? Geezus he's still fighting?

This wasnt considered dancing?

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>Public lashings

What is this... the ancient world!?

>tfw have nothing for khabib

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This is the future old man

hi heem
on Saturday this literal 8-9/10 told me she was free to hang out. i'm a 5 at best so I said sure. Only problem was she told me the only time she could hang out was 2PM so I had to miss the Khabeeb card.

I opted to go for a motorcycle ride with her from 2-4, but I missed the entire UFC card.
I also still haven't kissed her, although we were touching each other on the bike. She invited me into her house, but I left bc I said I had to work and just gave her a hug.

I invited her for drinks this Thursday but she hasn't responded and it does not look promising. How do I fix this shit? Do I try to kiss her on Thursday or not? This would be our third date.

Also can someone tell me how Khabib Poirier went because I have no idea

is the bad mother fucker belt just a way for conor to come back?

old man?

the arab world is old! stuck in the mud!....

sorry... sand! :^)

Hey /heem/ weed fanatic here

When is sugar sean omalley fighting again?

Poirier wasted all our time similar to how that girl did with you

Why wouldn't they just call it the people's championship. BMF is so cringe.

>getting a career ending injury on Bellator
that's tuff b

Dude

Weed

What ya wanna do is-
*barrel rolls towards you, puts you in an ankle pick and breaks your ankle*
Never blog post here again kid, it's schaub posting or nothing from here on out you got me?

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Get help for your mental illness

You sound underaged

>I DIDN'T KISS HER.... SHOULD I KISS HER? WHAT IS KISSING? I NEVER KISSED BEFORE!!!

If you're an adult I feel really bad for you! This sounds like something a 7th grader would type!

>WE TOUCHED BUT THAT'S WHEN WE WERE ON THE BIKE
>I FINALLY TOUCHED A GIRL!!!!!
>SHE INVITED ME IN TO FUCK... BUT I CHICKENED OUT!!!!
>I INVITED HER TO MY HOUSE BUT SHE HASN'T RESPONDED.

She hasn't responded because you're a fucking faggot! She's already moved on to a CHAD who she can call to her house any time she wants the dick!

This isn't /advice/ fuck off my Yea Forums you literal 12 year old!

Stuck in mud!?

Islam will dominate the world

Sorry... cum! :^)

>the girl wasted his time

LOLOLOLL

That fucking faggot wasted HER time! She wanted to fuck on the first date and this sperg chickened out. Now she won't pick up his calls because she knows he's a fucking faggot. She's already moved on to a Chad not a virgin.
"we touched but only on the bike" what is this? 6th grade?!

>will

that means they're not dominating yet

is this around the same time India will become a superpower?!

I'll keep waiting I guess, achmed.

>achmed
My name is Jan Arie Billal al-Kareem

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>239 was the last good ufc card
holy shit

Fucking hell

So you're saying I should ankle pick her

Well you can go ahead and feel sorry for me.

I'm unironically probably the oldest guy on this board.
Not underage, just haven't dated in a long time, just got out of a real bad breakup after like 10 years.
Feels fucking bad man. I did chicken out with this chick but she's out of my league, and my confidence was shot to shit by my ex.

Your name is rag-head, towel-head!

Your name is whatever I want it to be, goat fucker!

Nice flag there, toothpaste!

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Did you skip out on 241 or something?

>Uses the word "unironically"

No, I don't feel bad for you one bit... I laugh at you.

You spend your "free time" spamming an anime imageboard and you're out here giving advice? Top lel kiddo what a mark

Barbaric by what standards?

Thanks brah

What are you talking about dude? I'm asking for advice, moron, and I'm at work, bored to tears until my next fucking meeting. This isn't my free time.

>Ducks Woodley
>Ducks Usman
>Pls gib LWs and old men
What a fraud

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I don't come to Yea Forums to listen to some sperg cry about a breakup! Take your stupid pity posts to /faggots/ where you belong!

masvidal is such a backstabbing cunt it's crazy
imagine befriending a brown person

Imagine befriending an abo.

I'll fuck you up dude, you aint shit. Now give me some motherfucking advice before I ankle pick you

i have done that

>I'll fuck you up dude, you aint shit.

Yeah, I bet you can fuck up another guy but not beat up the pussy!

Thanks for proving my point, faggot!

Nice projection spergo

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all me btw

>Hey Masvidal you want to main event MSG?
>No no sir please let boring Colby main event instead
>Okay do you want a title shot after?
>No no sir please let boring Colby get the next title shot

No more sheikh spam today?

That looks uncomfortable and intentional 2bh

> sep 6
masvidal has been talking shit about colby since knocking out till
dana tried to scab colby on pay and masvidal used it to try and snatch away his fight with usman not realising that he wasn't getting a title shot, Dana was just using him as a pawn in contract negotiation.
it's about time colby stopped referring to him as "my best friend jorge masvidal"

Colby was offered Woodley a number of times and he turned it down. He was offered Usman and he turned it down. The common denominator here is Colby and Dana has gotten sick of his demands. He's acting like he's Mcgregor when dude doesn't even make a blip in the radar.

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Jorge's recent wins are more impressive than Colby's desu, especially if he beats Nate as well. I'd give him a shot just for ridding the world of Toilet Till.

I agree 100%

>He was offered Usman and he turned it down
he was offered ridiculously low money.
"just fight for free, bro, what are you scared?"
> low ratings
Deliberately put on at a shit time slot so that they could low ball him for his next fight.

it's all a conspiracy and his "friends" were even in on it

Khabib isn't that good when the wrestling is in the middle. It's a shame the idiotic cans that have fought him realized that.

One good fight doesnt make a good card

He's a can and a duck. He deserves nothing. Best wins are old men and a LW.

>one good fight
So you did miss out on it

> he's a duck for not fighting for free
nice narrative, WME.

>they thought we actually believed in peahead
Muzrats lmao kuffar posting was fun tho

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It's easier to stand up near the fence too

He prolly thinks he's owed 500k but at most he's worth 50/50. He should be grateful anyone wants to pay him at all

Nice damage control. Serious coping.

I watched the natty bowl and went to sleep then woke up and watch the highlights

> you're gonna fight usman next
> cool
> sorry, but usman is out indefinitely and we desperately need a main event for this card so we need you to do us a favour and fight lawler
> sure
> sorry, you didn't draw enough in that fight against lawler so you don't get to fight usman anymore unless you accept a pay cut

Imagine working for this company.

>He would win if he didn't lose
Woahhhhhh

NO KHABIB PLEASE I HAVE A FAMILY IM A CHARITABLE MAN PLEEAAASSEEE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Yeah I'm sure NO ONE has ever thought about this except you Rusev

I'd just as soon feel sorry for youtubers who have lost ad revenue

You're the only one who cares.

Wow why did Khabib have a knife in the cage??????????

>Jorge's recent wins are more impressive than Colby's desu
Not really. He knocked Till out after getting being knocked down himself. A very mixed performance. The Askren KO was one in a million. His resume is better, but his performances in the fights themselves are not.

haha strong faggot energy coming from this comment

Y NUEVO:

wrong
the fight is still gonna happen and he's gonna get paid

It's not going to happen cause he's a duck and walks around with a plastic belt he got from skating by a flushed LW

New thread

> he bought WME contract negoation shill narrative
it's happening next, masvidal and WME shills can't stop it

Masvidal is main eventing MSG and there's nothing you can do about it

i can watch him get smashed by nate journeyman diaz

Excellent taste brit friend

>khabibfags doing shit shop jobs
I expected you low iq muzzies to be technologically inferior

These were the days

The shitty "pure" mma fags maybe, seasoned boxers/kickboxers like Shevchenko or memebender have solid striking skills since they were elite level before doing mma

He did make kebab run for his life after he realized the mistake he made