/cric/ - Vintage Edition

Based Stokes. Good lad.

>so scared of cumgod that you walk

Ending it

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time for worried gloves man

>Muh honourable Stokes
Why did Stokes accept those overthrows in the World Cup final?

CUMGOD
U
M
G
O
D

>Cummings 4-20

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We only care about football

Are you a freshie or is this bait?

cant believe that coward walked

:D

kek
youll never see an Englishman do it thats for sure

so this is impossible now isn't it?

How can one man simultaneously be so handsome, such a nice guy and so good at cricket?

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Not his fault the umpires didn't know the rules. He held his hands up as soon as I happened.

>tim paine will go down as the captain that won the ashes on english soil

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Not guaranteed that he'd walk. Paine was the only one who went up for it. Him being the captain in charge of the review means it was more likely, but he might've doubted himself given how he was the only one appealing.

Stokes making up for last test and the WC.

nah bears toe 31(197) imminent

how many out decisions have not been given for Australia this series? at least 10

NSWGODS

Yeah, I'ma go fuck that bitch
I'ma go thrash that bitch
Shawty gon' suck this dick
Shawty gon' suck this dick
That's a pull-up bitch
Don't make me pull up, bitch
I'd smash that thot, then pull out bitch
Might push the Flacko shit
Watch me pull up, take your chain, lil' bitch
I'm on Deebo lit
I'm on Migo lit
I'm on kilo lit
I go psycho bitch
Watch me suck your bitch
Watch me thrash that bitch
Then I pass that bitch

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This. Stokes confirmed good guy and honourable gentleman of cricket.

alot of ducks in this series

Based carti bro

Searching for a new job whilst watching England throw go down

>english
>phoneposter

>by away ashes series won tim paine is the best australian cricketer since steve waugh.

amazing statistic

the ashes retaining australia

>Ben STOKES 1 (17)

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>have number 1 test batter
>have number 1 test bowler
>win test matches
big brain strategy by us tbqh

Why does Bairstow always look so terrified?

Grim Poone is going to captain an Ashes winning series in England. The absolute state

A celebration, perhaps?

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Business idea: Give the World Cup to Australia when the tour ends so it can be handed over to New Zealand safely

Wasn't that Leach's score in Headingley
pure pottery

>Not showing ball tracking

same old England...

>stokes this test
>26(62) & 1 (17)
>0/66 (10.5)

he's like the Paul Walker of Cricket, hopefully he doesn't die in a horrific accident

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how does umpires call on impact work when it was an appear for caught behind?

SAME OLD AUSSIES
ALWAYS WINNING

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Oh look, another New South Welshman bowling

Yeah, don't understand that shit.

constantly reliving the scene where he walked in on his dad swinging from the rafters

and then proceeded to hit a 6 to tie the game, if he was so honourable he would have taken a dot ball

He got injured so he couldn't bowl midway through the first innings, but otherwise your stats are correct.

because they had already established it was pad first so they have to check the lbw.

Unnecessary

Is the new job as a Bullfighter? I mean, fuck it why not?

At the end of the day, all that matters is that one team are a bunch of convict sandpaper-using cheating cunts, whereas the other team are a group of morally-righteous individuals who are determined to uphold the good standards of sportsmanship that cricket was founded upon. We may lose the Ashes, but we retain the moral high ground.

Why did he try and hit the next ball? He accepted the cheat extra 4 runs and then tried to score even more runs from the next ball.

A real honourable sportsman would've blocked the next ball justified it by saying he 'hit' a 4 from it.

EXPOSED

kek

Wish I has a girlfriend so Cummins could root her.

QLDer btw.

Just realised poot was dismissed for 0

COOKED
Ahh yes, 'injured'. Face it he can't stand the English team, running the huddles and everything

felt a bit much as a typed it out tb h haha

Cummins 4-20 nice

The same as an appeal for lbw.

Kek

>16 year olds playing netball in clear view of my window

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which brand make the best bats

Nonce

Lads. Why don’t England just block literally all day?!

There is no umpires call for caught behind
If the third umpire doesn't have definitive proof to overturn the decision it stands, you always lose a review when it's unsuccessful there

because Cook retired

proxy off richo

that's not our natural game

Ah yes Holding, not only do they have to watch the foot they then have to quickly flick to watch the ball get to the batsman

Nike

Some specialist small shop tucked away somewhere with an old man who makes custom bats.
You then put stickers on it from your favourite brand.

>not letting them play their natural game

didnt paul walker fuck teenagers?
deserved to die desu fukn pedo

'ce

Fuck the natural game. Just leave everything that’s short and wide and just block the rest. Simple

Modern day batsmen don't practice the block.

>and this is our son's room. He's quite the cricket aficionado

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This time next year, I will be a year older

holy fucking shit lol

turned on my ps4 today for the first time in a year and a half to play detroit: become human lads

Not sure about scraping your knob on tiles tbqh.

Mind status: blown.

>looks like he has his friends from the online cricketing community around today

Based

booked flights to melbourne for prelim weekend lads

How does this not hurt ur cock

Why dont they just sit down blocking the stumps and hold the bat straight in front to deflect anything coming at the pads

why didn't they practice last night

looks fun

>Not putting away the bad ball
I agree that some of the shots played have been ridiculous but you gain quite a bit by putting pressure on the quicks. If you can force Paine to turn to Smith or Lebuschange you've then got potentially got easier overs to survive.

Aus on the ropes here.

it's slippery are you blind

Whats the story behind this?

There's soap, idiot

kek

you let our country down ben

>2 wickets last night
>2 wickets this morning
>2 wickets this afternoon
>2 wickets this evening

cheers for the draw boys

Still dont wanna run my barecock across the floor, just seems uncomfortable

homophobe

fag

their bodies are bearing most of the weight
how do you think league players manage to slide for a try

Why don't the batsman just kneel down in front of the wickets and block every ball?

They are immune to LBW or being bowled that way, and short balls will just fly over their head with no avoiding necessary

Hazlewood looking well and truly cooked out there lads

Have you not seen how calloused their cocks are?

Why not just agree to end it as a draw now, so we can all enjoy our afternoon and evening doing something else? It's pretty obvious we won't get a result now

Must agree with this.

Might do the same lad. Based ps plus desu.

no
no I haven't

>Stokes
>Knows the ashes is lost
>Takes the opportunity to walk to come out with extra praise

Can't believe Stokes did 'the honourable thing' against a team that was literally caught sandpapering the ball last year. What a cuck.

doesn't know that sex will also hurt his cock

t. virgin who has only ever used his hand

Athers should never work in suicide prevention

can't believe all these incels that have never slid across a soapy shower floor bare dicked with their mates before
it just works

Pretty selfish act desu

Sliding around the bathroom is fun.
youtube.com/watch?v=mB1YL0JrjDw

>Implying Australia is the only team tempering
They were just dumb enough to get caught.

All these cazzies that don't remember the time Broad didn't walk

business idea: uber eats drone delivery system

Maybe if your circumcised LOL

Don't take what you all say, I rate Denly. If he had been picked 2-3 years ago he would have adapted to test cricket and be a decent 3-4 now, whereas he's been facing county trundlers for so long he can't into quick bowling as well as he should, and he's 32 now so probably won't crack it which is a shame but he applies himself well and probably a better bet than anyone else in county cricket

Can't hate Benjamin Stokes desu

wouldshootdown/10

Just did a slimy Joe Denly lads, what have I missed?

needs to be erect so it doesn't hurt

youtube.com/watch?v=IBJL1H84Y2A

reckon Australia should be investigated for coin tampering, literally win every coin toss, bet my house they're slipping in a double headed coin

and he can cover drive

Just got exposed lads

redpill

Even worse when her pH is fucked. Wish most women wouldn't eat like shite.

>Home conditions
>Need to win the toss to compete

Ooft this has gotta hurt. Remember when you lot batted first at Perth and lost by an innings?

If every team is outright cheating then walking is even stupider.

Business idea: every team should be allowed to tamper.
be fun to watch the ball zip around all day

streamable.com/4s933

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Has some random Indian bloke uploaded footage of that Stokes walk in 240p with sad/heroic music in the background yet?

i'd let both teams roid the fuck up. I want to see archer hit 110mph, and steve smith averaging 150 runs

I literally just did that wtf

Whenever I have sex, it hurts like hell when I'm just inserting it. After a few thrusts it's fine after that, however

Remember when Root won 3/4 tosses for over a year
I was seething

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What are some other good PS2 games
replaying Gran Turismo 4 at the moment

>idolising horses
What a faggot. The next Whateley.

All that practice against the taped tennis ball growing up will finally pay off for Australia

Not a homophobe just don't like em
Simple as

the state of this cunts hairline

Whenever I bat, its hard as hell when I'm just starting it. After a few runs it's fine after that, however

everytime i sex, my bum hurt. am i sex rong?

nfs most wanted
harry potter and the chamber of secrets
time splitters 2/future perfect
simpsons hit n run

off top of my head

Bully
DBZ Budokai Tenkaichi 3

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If you took both the England and Australia squad and needed to pick a combined XI, how many from either squad would you pick? For me, I would only take Broad, Stokes and Burns from the England camp.

Put a bit more lube on your head. It's hurting until you move her natural lubricant around a bit.

Ashamed I laughed at this.

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Ratchet and Clank 2

top 10 best respect cricketing moments #honour #respect #2019 #best

>Not using Leach and Lyon together bowling from opposite ends

Got a red ring of death right during the climax of Vegetas final flash when playing that as a kid. Was pretty kino.

I would take no English players. Can't even win the ashes at home.

what the fuck went so wrong

Kingdom Hearts t bh

it honestly feels like I'm hitting something really hard, doesn't help that I've got mild phimosis

the brains on that partnership would be crazy

At the end of the day, one team wins and one team seeths

dragon quest 8

Any of Bairstow/Buttler/Foakes would get in ahead of Paine for the gloves. I'd also put Poot in as one of the openers. That's his original position and he can't be worse than the shitters Australia have.

SIDDLES BEING INTERVIEWED ON HIS BIRTHDAY

Where is Glenn Maxwell?

>no Victorian bowlers

Denly
Bancroft
Labuschagne
Smith (c)
Root
Stokes
Bairstow
Broad
Cummins
Hazlewood
Lyon

shadow of the colossus

sickening

This is what happens when you bring through a generation of white ball players. I fucking hate white ball cricket. We're the best at the world at it but at this cost, we won't win the ashes for the next 10 years minimum

I'd honestly take Buttler over Root or Bairstow, maybe even Paine and Buttler over both.

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

Patterson has a bit of a stutter doesn't he.

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root at 5 where he can just play his meme ODI game with no threat from the moving ball would be elite

>England fell for the white ball meme.
Dire.

Harry Potter Quidditch World Cup

All the Harry Potter PS2 games were pretty good tbf

The English board had to make a decision whether or not to go for the Ashes or the WC, and they chose the WC because they thought it would be better for English cricket long term. England almost got fucked out really early on too.

Bairstow i reckon is a better keeper though
I'd rather have Root in on the chances that as not being captain he scores runs

ultra funny.

Still got the disc for that game
it was kino and you are right, Harry Potter ps2 games are the best out of any HP games

I had bad phimosis. Foreskin never retracted until I was 15. Slowly fixed it over a month or two by stretching a bit every day. Fuck me was the head sensitive for a while.

Can you guys tell me when the fuck this will end?

I have a bet on Australia but I don't understand cricket at all.

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pitches where actually awful for the most part, and england prepared a team for flat batting decks (2x proper fast bowlers, plunkett's meme variations and a ridiculously agressive batting lineup) so we nearly got BTFO early but managed to come back into it

Prisoner of Azkaban for PS2 was kino.

jak and daxter: the precursor legacy is literally the greatest PS2 game of all time. Jak 2 and 3 were literal trash
mad how naughty dog descended into such rubbish with uncharted after such a classic release

foakes is unironically the best keeper in england, and a good test batsman but loses out to bairstow because muh aggressive lower order batting, whereas foakes is fairly technically correct

Today at 7pm or anytime before then

Uncharted is kino

Broad only got a faint edge. The keeper (Haddin?) missed the catch which deflected it to first slip.
Can't really blame him for not walking, it looked a lot worse than it was.

It's not only fucked our players but it's fucked a lot of fans too. Fans who were crying out for Roy to be in the team before the ashes. Fans who saw Moeen Ali score 121 in a T20 the other night and asked for him to be back in the test team for the 5th series. Fucking grim.

kek, bannedcroft looks broken by the world

Alright chaps time for england to lose tally ho

its fucking shit

See that is the thing, i don't know much about your English [players unless they play us
At the moment i don't rate any Aussie keeper so i will take your word on Foakes being a better keeper
Like having Labuschagne, Smith, Root, and Stokes you don't need much more batting depth
especially with the bowling being stacked
One just has to question who are the better openers so those two could easily be replaced

No it isn't
4 > 2 > 3 > 1

The thickness of the edge doesn't make a difference desu. It was still an obvious edge to everyone but the umpire. I think walking is stupid though, if the umpire isn't going to take your word for it when you say you aren't out.

Good music coming through
youtube.com/watch?v=3ltXWrodjCY

Really don't like how much I hear people in real life talking about NFL nowadays lads.

Wanked to every futa doujin out there.
Soon to commence questioning my life choices.

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It really is fucking garbage mate. All of them are about as bog standard a third person shooter as it gets.

Thanks

The thickness of the edge makes all the difference. If the keeper wasn't there it wasn't going anywhere near Clarke.
Broad only gets shit for it because he "hit it to first slip" when it was all because of a deflection on the keeper's part.

to be fair foakes is probably the best wicket keeper in the world, not just england he's absolutely elite. youtube some of his stumpings/catches he's ian healey tier. got man of the series in his one and only test series in sri lanka with some ridiculous stumpings/catches and averaging 50

I know that's why people were butthurt but morally I don't think there's any difference. He edged it and everyone saw, but he chose to wait for the umpire's decision.

Is she a lizard?

vanilla lord of the rings up to mines of moria expansion pack remains the greatest game of all time
those who know know

Real /cric/ anthem
youtube.com/watch?v=Ch74FHD9cPQ

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Yeah dunno about this Seachange show lads the acting looks like garbage.

Based Ryno, what a unit.

Nothing can be more poorly acted than My Life is Murder. I've only ever seen the ads and holy fucking shit it is just wretched.

>cummo statpadding against england
ill be impressed if he keeps that SR after a few more series playing proper cricket teams

>McGrath almost took 5 wickets a game for 120 matches
elite 2bh

The man was beast as fuck. Him, Sids and Johnson are underrated as a bowling unit.

How did you fix it? Mine is really bad and I can't even get my fingers in there to stretch the foreskin. The hole is maybe 1-2cm in diameter, if that.

might buy lotto ticket

Bad light looms

Got the PS4 out

Bowled or caught?

Is the foreskin actually attached to your dick or is it just a tight ring at the front keeping it on?
I literally would just get hard and pull on it until it was visibly stretched (and painful) and hold it for a while, then release, then repeat a few times, every day in the shower. After a week or so I could pull it all the way back but it would hurt like hell. As I said it took about a month for everything to normalise.
Be warned your head will be so sensitive it will be painful to touch. Also, if you're not able to clean under there it will be pretty dire when you get it all the way back the first time. Just clean it with water, no soap.

both

Feels like more of a reflection on modern batsman desu

noice bowl Pattayeeee

is it me or does Bairstow's bat seem much smaller and thinner than everyone elses

Big fan of Toby Greene gouging bullwogs players eyes.

Should add that the head sensitivity will become normal over time. Sex/blowjobs will feel extra good for a golden period of time inbetween it being TOO sensitive and it becoming normal.

Play Uncharted mate

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Love a good bit of foreskin chat on cric lads.

The size of Bairstow's bat always at any given time reflects England's chance of winning.

who /skygoondad'saccount/

joe root has literally no idea how to handle a ball aimed at his stumps and hes literally the biggest shitter of all time
KP was kicked out the side due to anglo terrorism and this is what we're left with. its fair to say i have become numb with pure resentment

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For me, its when you get some American girl in the sack and she's never seen one, and she gets fascinated by it and can't stop playing with and sucking it

Remember playing this on crushing. Fucking nightmare.

you tell'em warnie

just remembered that time when I had mild phimosis but could still pull the skin back

gf grinded her fanny on my head but she shaved a few days before and had really sharp small hairs still oh my fucking daysssss that was painful

>faint edge
are you blind? It's incredibly thick and right by his hands, the reason it deflected off the wicketkeeper is because it was so thick
There's no question Broad knew that he hit it, the issue is whether he could realistically stand his ground when it was that glaring
you can see it better here:
youtube.com/watch?v=aHhZb-cBKwc

congratulations to steve smith for singlehandedly winning the ashes

?
Moisturiser is your friend when you can start stretching it with a finger.

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>old man broke down on the road
>go help tow his car home
>come back on /cric/
>no wickets

heh.... I wanted the series to stay alive for the oval anyway lads

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is it just me or are most girls awful at blowjobs
very teethy and painful

uhh what about cummies

Yikes, mine certainly was NOT that bad.

Fucking kek.

Mauritian girl from tinder asked me out to lunch lads

It's not the edge that in question its whether the slip gathered it cleanly from the fumble. Genuinely doubt when you saw it live and full speed, it's only with a replay that it's obvious

Congratulations to the English for losing the ashes.
Brilliant team effort there

Not just you. Some take the 'suck' too seriously and act like they're taking a hit from a bong too. It ain't a straw.

generally awful yes, never had teeth though they always usually ask how I like it.

>teethy blowjobs

would rather have a wank 2bh

i had it when i was a kid but when i went through puberty and my willy got bigger it just started to peel back naturally, hurt like all hell because i had no idea what was happening i didn't do anything about it. only now do i realize what was going on.

enjoy your AIDS

what thee fuk kent, as a boy growin up i'd always play with my foreskin so this problem is foreign to me

joe root honestly needs to be coached at cricket by mo yousuf. never seen an english batsman fail so miserably against a straight ball

A mediocre wank feels better than any sex I've ever had.

How do they have tinder on Mars?

>when they suck hard with a dry mouth

Just fucking stop.

Ring of Red

>its whether the slip gathered it cleanly from the fumble
are you fucking retarded, it's nowhere near the ground. umpire thought it hadn't nicked, absolutely no question on anything else
congratulations, you've made me mad

Really just neutralised the spin of the delivery with the edge. Aussie keepers fumbling taking a ball is pretty common, so can't blame the umpire.

NEED a cricket equivalent to Football Manager lads. Wouldn't even need to be that complex in terms of software, it could be mostly text-based. Surely an Indian can take a bit of time and make one?

doubt it, she looks like wholesome virgin qt

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only about 5 hours left lads we can do it

Give it to her cunt

Fuck ok I might try that, sounds like it could lead to progress. Sex/bjs aren't a concern as I'm a 23yo virgin and can't see that changing in the near future, I just don't want to feel like a freak and nut early when I'm wanking

What does the fumble have to do with it

Yeah really dire. Last gf would do this all the time and didn't take instruction well. Eventually just stopped asking for her to give it a go and politely declined when she offered in favour of sex.

>2K20 ad
Fuck off

It only goes to slip because it bounces off Haddin, very legitimate doubt as to whether its a genuine catch. Watch the clip again

think it's time to send poot and warner to the glue factory lads

joe root is completely technically inept and have no idea how he averages 50
hes literally a disgrace to england and his captaincy is pure turd

Easy. Denly has stopped the suicide shots and is looking solid now. Also all the Aussie bowlers except Cummins look cooked

What the fuck do you think is illegitimate about the catch? How could it not be genuine? Please explain
Are you saying it doesn't look like he nicked it because of the deflection off the keeper?

Sad thing is baseball has "out of the park baseball" which is literally, LITERALLY just football manager but with baseball.

More like he statpadded vs Sri Lanka this year. He took 14 wickets at an average of 7.7.

>Lunch break

Not even sure what I'm looking at here

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Bancroft would have swallowed that like a hot load of semen

The fumble is what caused it to go to Clarke. How was Dar meant to know this time it was caused by an edge, rather than Haddin being a shitter?

Joe 'There's nothing wrong with me being a gay limp-wristed little poofter' Root

Which moisturiser would you recommend

Not an excuse lad

Yeah it's something you should get sorted. If you can't do it yourself you should really go to a doctor about it. I know it's an embarrassing condition but it's fairly common and a little embarrassment is better than getting some a fucked UTI or bacterial infection because you can't clean your dick properly.

The only losers of the ashes so far is everyone listening to Shane Warne commentating

Towel the guts outta her lad

>How was Dar meant to know this time it was caused by an edge, rather than Haddin being a shitter?

Well I suppose he could have tried using his FUCKING EYES.

Yeah of course that's why the umpire didn't give it out but that's not the point, the issue has always been that Broad didn't walk, Dar doesn't factor into the discussion
It's clearly out and Broad knows it, he just takes advantage of the deflection off Haddin as a part of the deception

>Are you saying it doesn't look like he nicked it because of the deflection off the keeper?
What do you think big brains? There is enough room for doubt there as it isn't a regulation catch. Broad completely right to stand his ground, umpire made a contentious but understandable decision.
Now stop seething mate, you're about to win in England for the first time in like 5 attempts

Shane Warne should stick to Fortnite streams

All of Clarke's """catches""" need closer scrutiny. He loves claiming balls on the bounce as catches.
Root got shit for claiming that "catch" near the end of the second test which bounced, but Clarke did that constantly.

Anything that says you can use it all over your body on the label. No face or hand only stuff.

Is this a shop?

Surely commentators are obsolete with all these mics picking up top-shelve banter

no mate it's clearly a penis

official /cric/ ashes chat 2019 rankings

1.Suits
2.Food
.
.
.
9.Phimosis
.
.
99.Cricket

Kek

>you're about to win
Don't believe it mate.

and england

kek

The meek shall inherit the earth

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Aidra Fox

What banter? Not really noticed anything other than
1. BOWLING GAZ
2. t.Pain just shouting the number of the next 2 wickets to fall

Just ate a box of plain cruskits. Was pretty good.

see , whether Dar made the right decision is irrelevant. Clearly he didn't give it out based on that deflection off Haddin but Broad was in no doubt as to whether he hit it and that is ultimately the question, whether he should have walked knowing that
The catch is 100% genuine, it's live so long as it doesn't hit the ground, in the meantime it could've bounced off 5 slips hands and still be a genuine catch

Lyno absolutely cooked after that run out

will do lads
A bit self concious about people staring at me with a non-white girl with an accent if I was out on a date

Lyon got a wicket? Am I dreaming?

GONE CUNT

>the issue has always been that Broad didn't walk
>It's clearly out and Broad knows it
And? 98% of batsmen don't walk. The only reason people highlight this as him being a cheat is because it went to first slip, which was caused by the keeper.

LYONESS STRIKES

GARRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Nice anal sloot

GONE

FUCK OFF

GONE
GOTTEM
JUST GIVE US THE ASHES

>no one even cares about wickets falling anymore

the coward joe root has killed english cricket

Lyno absolutely on fire today lads

FUCKS sake

OUT
GONE
GET OFF THE PITCH
GET OFF THE OVAL
GET OFF THE GRASS
LEAVE THE GROUND
FUCK OFFFFFFFFF

Mate absolutely no-one important gives a shit. Get your head out of that /pol/ mindset.

>Denly didn't start walking when he knew he nikced it before Ump gave it out
See lads, English don't know how to work

69. Spastic yelling every wicket

>scotty walks out

No stokes to save the day

>Spending the entire match only paying attention to Paine.
Your watching the cricket wrong lad

FUCKKKK WHY DO THEY ALWAYS ASK THIS

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>That
>A catch
[x] Doubt

needs a power gap between 99. cricket and 9999. english grammar

rank it even lower than our pathetic attempt at actual cricket discussion 2bh.

because they want to see if you're ugly?

the england cricket team

joe bowled
joey bowledstow
joe clean bowl
johhny bowlestow
jimmy no technique clean bowled
ben clean bowled
ben bowled over
ben massive stumps bowled
stuart fraud
jimmy bowled
cleaned up colin
jofra my stumps are at your mercy archer

already got a face shot on my tinder account though

>pootler and poostow to save it
just forfeit already

They want to see more pics of you lad. It's smart because you probably only picked your best for the app hey.

>-t. kissless virgin

Literally every white human with a gaping cunt between her legs will be giggling inside at him.
(not that it matters)

Pretty poor effort lad.

ok they want to see how tall you are and if you're fat

>do you have insta?
>yeah I've got insta
>...well ....what is it?
>I don't actually have insta
>.....

ALPHA
AS
FUCK

>human
>her legs

m8

Joe Root should claim asylum in an embassy a la Assange ASAP

Was asked this too, i only use instagram so my zoomer brother can send me memes

poor

>The only reason people highlight this as him being a cheat is because it went to first slip, which was caused by the keeper.
No it's highlighted because it was such a ridiculously thick edge that he would have had to known he edged it
If Stokes hadn't walked just now it would have never been brought up again because it hit the edge of the bat, he could have realistically thought he didn't hit it. Remember when Kohli walked in the world cup because he thought it hit the edge of the bat but ultra edge proved it hadn't?

I don't know why you and the brit keep bringing up the deflection off the wicketkeeper, the only relevance there is that you could believe at first sight that it missed Broad's bat, deflected off Haddin's gloves and was caught at first slip, which must be what the umpire thought. Whether he fumbled ultimately doesn't matter when Broad edges it, it's a legitimate catch

>Every stream fucking lagging like shit right now

I would only judge you if it was a fugly no hope fob, but she looks fine

listen to the wireless m8 much better

Just finished a session of Maximo personally.

Actually based.

9now.com.au/live/gem

Make an insta account with only pictures of your penis and when she complains simply reply "Well you asked".
(this will only produce beneficial results if you have an aesthetic penis, if you're a phimosis dicked faggot just kys)

>If Stokes hadn't walked just now it would have never been brought up again because it hit the edge of the bat, he could have realistically thought he didn't hit it. Remember when Kohli walked in the world cup because he thought it hit the edge of the bat but ultra edge proved it hadn't?
Sorry meant to say the end of the bat for both, not the edge
Harder to feel the edge when it's that far down

if these two make it to tea we might have a chance, any more wickets this session and it's over.

Why clap for the 100? This is embarrassing stuff by the crowd.

unlikely, this was her first message
I know I look like a skinny phaggot but this is all you need to impress qts

Attached: 565f3ed094dff375fb5c9e198cb9ef81.png (679x545, 179K)

>just finished the last of my alcohol
>bottle-o just closed
Might end it all.

My gf just started a 'premium snapchat'. It's time to break up now, right?

you don't look like a skinny phaggot you look good man

your mum is poor

Wants to make sure it's not an old photo probs mate.

WICKET NEK MINNIT

Shit haircut, did a woman do that?

I created an instagram account specifically because I kept getting asked for this. My matches, dates and sex have increased tenfold since I made it.

Should people walk off a claimed bat pad catch where they hit it?
Should people walk on plumb LBWs?

Is Smith a cheat for reviewing the LBW in the... second (?) test? His was a plumb LBW, he knew he was out and started walking, but decided to come back and wait for the umpire's decision and then reviewed it.

>just finished the last of my alcohol
entirely your fault.
I always keep at least 4 slabs at any one time.

the thing is though I'm pretty antisocial so girls are surprised that I basically have no online presence despite being decent looking. Wouldn't really have any photos to put up

It's not cheating if you don't walk, you're not the umpire.

based sebbo
the most electrifyingly physically large man in /cric/ entertainment

Warne went from having a good old bitch about every Lyon delivery to just about orgasming over him

If England don't lose any more wickets for the rest of the day then I think it's possible we could escape with a draw here

Not him, what's wrong with it

Even chucking up a shitty song increased my matches and conversations.

>no more opportunities for ethanol consumption

Enjoy processing that methanol.

nigeria rising

I used to keep a bottle of random schnapps, like sour apple or butterscotch, and that was the go to if further alcohol was required after hours.

wouldn't mind not losing a wicket here

I wouldn't be able to maintain a back up supply.

Take photos of nature or buildings to pad it. Travel pics are winners too. And put pics of you in the gym, or diving into a pool or creek up. You'll want at least one photo of you with another person though.

>A bottle-o near me does 24 hour alcohol delivery
Yep, this is kino.

Fucking casual

>not having at least 24 beers in the fridge at all times

It's that comb over psuedo undercut faux hipster, I'm not a fan.

>You'll want at least one photo of you with another person though.
You had me worried until you posted this - VERY IMPORTANT.

>Should people walk off a claimed bat pad catch where they hit it?
Yes if they knew 100% they hit it
>Should people walk on plumb LBWs?
LBWs are rarely ever 100%, but if it's a straight ball that hits 1/4 of the way down middle stump then yes
>Is Smith a cheat for reviewing the LBW in the... second (?) test? His was a plumb LBW, he knew he was out and started walking, but decided to come back and wait for the umpire's decision and then reviewed it.
Do you realise what you're saying here? If 100% knew he was LBW then why would he review?

Just got on the telly lads

Do not dive into creeks.

I don't really drink alcohol anymore lads

imagine watching a stream.

fuck im so hansome
look like marlon brando but with a bigger forehead

>Schnapps
Whats the point? If you want to drink piss just squeeze your cat.

Based sebbo an expert on creeks.

Can England capitalise somehow on Nigeria's emergence on the scene as the dominant force in world cricket? Possibly some sort of settlement scheme for talented 12-year-old Nigerians, so that they can be just as English as you or I by the time they're 18, and ready to be fast-tracked into the national team?

She's not actually your girlfriend you dumb fuck.

just finished my bottle of pinot
going to steal some of the gfs syrah

when will this end? I wanna watch Peep Show already

>Wear checked pants with a simple black tee, nice belt and good brown dress shoes
>Women literally melt
Dressing like a faggot hipster kind of works wonders lads.

>DON'T FUCKEN DIVE INTO THE CREEKS CUNTS, THERES LOGS AND SHIT UNDER EVERY SQUARE INCH OF THE FUCKING WATER AND YOU'LL FUCKING DIE INSTANTLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Yeah we get, you're a brit, no fun allowed, everything banned etc etc etc.....

That's the point it's piss so it's emergency alcoholism only. Ever try not drinking?

The verge looms lads.

>as English as you or I
Do you guys still consider the colonies as part of your British lineage?

ignore him

>you're a brit
*leaves it*

It's simple really, when you go to your shop, buy four times what you would normally drink in a week. Drink as you normally would, then replenish each week.

>cringebesity

cricket is en route to turkey lads
afghanistan> iran|>turkey
the next ottoman empire will be a cricket one

"Alcohol emergency" is sad. Be better prepared.

just realised this series isn't Butler's first time in the test team

why wouldn't you think that

What you're not the regular "brit in ireland" poster? Are you the other semi regular "actual irish in ireland" poster? Or are you literally that american they all call seb on a proxy?

>Do you realise what you're saying here? If 100% knew he was LBW then why would he review?
Because he was on 92 and was batting with the tail. This was when he hit by Archer and retired hurt for a bit. Smith being out was 234/8 (Australia all out for 250 a few overs later) so he was the last hope for Australia being able to score runs really.

So... he's a cheat?

>not bowling Starc/Hazlewood and Cummins

Lyon got a wicket but he can fuck off now

latter
ignore him

cause he's fucking shit and I don't watch england much

>forgot all about the last ashes over here

try not drinking

how many meters?

six and a half metres

>6 and a half metres

>still arguing about walking and cheating

I think the point is: if you smash the cover off it, and everyone saw you smash the cover off it, and the big screen clearly shows you smashing the cover off it, you should probably just get the fuck of the fucking pitch cunt.

If it's a close one and it goes your way people will grumble a bit but they won't call you a cheat.

six and a half metres

SICKS AND AHALF

six and a half metres

6.5m

For me it's songs about killing your ex.
>youtube.com/watch?v=U_EYmtHbiZ0
Imagine if a man wrote this.

hey lads, thinking about taking up seam bowling, how far down the pitch should I aim to bounce the ball?

youtube.com/watch?v=AsnELWjsCsA

reminder modest mouse did literally nothing wrong

six and a half meters

six an a-arf me-ers

>meters

six and a half metres

six and a half metres?

six and a half metres la

Based Bumble

top of the stump

some batsmen call it six and a half metres tho

s

Think about it mate, if he 100% knew he was LBW then he knew a review would 100% fail. He thought there was some chance he wasn't LBW, even if it was a small one and that the LBW would be overturned
Conversely there was absolutely no way Broad didn't know he'd hit that. There's a big difference between knowing 100% whether a ball that hits your pad would have gone on to hit the stumps behind you and all the other requirements for LBW, and knowing whether you thickly edged a ball right next to your hands

255.906 inches

can't hate Nasser Hussain desu

0.0065 km

are there any proper batting lineups yet? india are the closest with poojara kholi and rahane 3-4-5, 7-8 years ago south africa and england both had pretty elite batting units and it's just been elite player and shit rest of the lineups since then

But that's the thing, it's not a close one. It was glaring

>met-trays

0.00350972 nautical miles

>tfw you see an approaching Richo

Attached: victimhood.jpg (1871x1053, 258K)

See: the line about smashing the cover off it.

twitter.com/shaidhope/status/1170688951562264581

I lingered round them, under that benign sky; watched the moths fluttering among the heath and hare-bells; listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass; and wondered how anyone could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth

Any lineup except Englame.

lads I was away for a minute, what's this 6.5 metres thing

he's this guy

Attached: 1544433661739.jpg (779x779, 177K)

Big fan of this Darrell Lea liquorice chocolate block.

you rely on smoth, we rely on root and he's been shit for about a year. take smoth out of your team and your batting lineup is shit lanka tier

Anyone else sick of these super pozzed channel 9 ads?

Been watching like an hour and i've seen
An interracial makeout
A fag marriage (optus ad)

nice

a thick edge by the hands is a thick edge by the gloves mate

what's this 6 and a half m business? missed it

>gmt 0

Damn.... can't argue with that....

>6.871x10^16 light years

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we weren't that far off at Headingley mate
Ultimately it was our bowlers and captain that failed us

booya

Your dick length

oh NONONONONO

need a 6.5 metre .webm i think lads

>Jos Buttler's got a double ton..... ON HIS BIRTHDAY

>A HATRICK ON HIS BIRTHDAY
>JOS BUTTLER GOT OUT ON A HATRICK ON HIS BIRTHDAY

Wholesome lad

That's so sweet

youtube.com/watch?v=zuvKjgRFrxI#t=2m43s
So... Smith is a cheat, right?

Can you email channel 9 about it, make a complaint with their complaints department.
Something Bumble said about delivery length, I don't know I'm listening on tms. Boycott is having a grand day out.

can't paine just piss in his pants?

0.0000016909469% of the distance from the Earth to the Moon.

DON'T BLAME IT ON THE FUCKING BOWLERS YOU DAFT CUNT
IF THOSE SHIT CUNT BATSMAN HAD BATTED FOR A LITTLE LONGER THAN ONE FUCKING SESSION THE BOWLERS MIGHT NOT HAVE HAD TO BOWL ON A FLATTENING OUT DAY 3 AND 4 PITCH
YA CUNT
FUCK YOU

How about you try to comprehend what I'm saying and build a response around that

nice

Six and a half metres, lads? More like Sebbo's waistline.

>watching the adds

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smoth has scored 33% of your runs despite missing a match and dying in the other, he eats time out of the game allowing your bowlers to be fresher and means you have one end that is 100% not losing a wicket regardless of what happens for the other batsman, he's absolutely carrying you. if you can't bat time it doesn't matter how good your bowlers are you will struggle eventually due to no rest for them (see England literally most test series, bowlers are fucked by the end because they barely ever get a day off between bowling)

FUCKING KEK

>Spot on the money

>that woman nodding off
why do women pretend to like cricket?

>(optus ad)
it was for telstrsa

yeah I'm thinking this is going to be a draw

*telstra 5g actually m8

of course he's carrying us, but >we still almost won at headingley lol, you can't deny that

Attached: 1555101822913.png (1200x700, 424K)

>commentary being racist again

Attached: Screen Shot 2019-09-08 at 23.33.52.png (1428x802, 1.09M)

In most series there is usually one batsman doing the damage. Eng have none. They deserve to lose.

Is it too early to say if Smith is better than Lara?

Watch the video. There is more doubt whether Broad hit the ball than whether Smith was out LBW.

>talking about stepping on cricket balls
>cuts to Glenny
rude

WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE REVIEW IF HE WAS 100% SURE IT WAS OUT YOU FUCKING DUMB CUNT

honestly i wouldn't be bringing out the pre-cope at this point, one more wicket and your into the tail.

yep, this is the one

Attached: 1548832724531.jpg (1000x563, 45K)

>in the nets with the lads
>"So where are we supposed to aim to bounce this round leather thing?"
>*rolls sebastion once down the pitch*
>"Right there."

Afridi was the guy for those kind of blatantly obvious shenanigans.

Wicket?

how many miles is it?

you almost won because of >our incompetence, being bowled out for 60 is embarrasingly bad. it was a 200-250 first innings pitch, if we got 150 we would have walked it. your batting was pretty shit tier apart from lambshanks

COME ON ME GARYY

6 and a half david warners

6 AND A HALF METRES

>bumble pops out from behind the stumps
>"Aye that's the spot"

love the pidge

don't think seb's gonna recover from this lads

YES GAZZA NICE GAZZY RIGHT ON MY FACE GARY THAT'S THE MONEYSHOT

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO DOUBT THAT BROAD HIT THAT BALL
think about all the factors that go into LBW - the trajectory, whether it pitched outside leg, whether it was swinging or straight, whether it was bouncing over etc. and contrast that with whether you can feel the weight and impact of a ball getting a good piece of your bat a mere inch from where you're holding it

australia are better than england at cricket
get over it
im going to rock out to pavement

at the moment yes, at least lara had chanderpaul smoth has had no-one apart from lambshanks that has scored difficult runs all series and he's not just scoring heavily he's grinding >us into the dirt, bowlers are having to bowl 5-6-7 spells making it significantly easier for your other batsman

thoughts on North Yorkshire?

audibly kekd

Jonny Bairstow

JONNY BAIRSTOW

Why would he start walking off, walk back and ask for a review and then walk and wait by the boundary line while the review was being done if he thought he wasn't out?

He was Australia's last hope of getting any runs, so he burned the last review because it was there.
Paine reviewing the LBW call where it pitched 30 cm outside leg stump during the last test had more integrity than Smith's review.

JOHNNY BAIRSTOWS GOT A HATRICK ON JOS BUTTLER'S BIRTHDAY

>your batting was pretty shit tier apart from that guy that made it better
I only joined your convo halfway through, I know we're not a decent lineup, just objecting to the idea that we're shit lanka tier. There's still something there

God's own county

lived there 90% of my life, it's an odd place. skipton ilkley and harrogate are all fairly nice in a small area, but keighley, although west yorkshire, is an absolute shithole right by them

Zimbabwe tier then?

JONNY
BAIRSTOW

This ozzy bowling attack is so finely balanced
>Cummins and Pattinson to bowl mid 80s line and length with the new ball
>Starc with pace, bouncers and yorkers to expose the tail
>Lyon to tie up an end and then exploit the day 4/5 pitches

DO NOT post that shirtless fat cunt.

he drinks the vodka, he drinks the jaeger

DO post that shirtless fat cunt.

nice, originally from Knaresborough but moved over here when I was 8. Anything I should check out, I'm going to be staying with family for around a month in February

without Smith the Australians wouldn't have a chance desu, which I think goes with what you said earlier, and I agree. The Australian attack is good but not great, and also aside from Stokes at Headingley there's been no significant impactful knock by the English bats.

DO post that shirtless fat cunt

look at group of absolute /lads/

where are my group of cricket and banter loving mates ; _ ;

MAYBE post that shirtless fat cunt

Me and the lads. Fuck

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join a cricket club not hard m8

we're right here m8

lambescapade to expose these casuals

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THINK ABOUT IT YOU DUMB CUNT
he thought there was some chance that it wasn't LBW so he reviewed. LBW is a lot more complicated and has many more factors than "did I just edge that ball". If he really, really, really thought it was out he never would have reviewed because he would know it wasn't given out. Of course he thinks it's almost certainly out there but knows that LBWs can be tricky because of all the factors and gives it a go
Conversely Broad knew he hit it, the only reason he didn't walk was because Dar didn't put the finger up and he knew he could get away with it because the deflection off Haddin's gloves made it look like there was no edge from someone standing at the other end of the pitch, but to himself he could see and feel that he'd hit it
I'm done with this shit, you are a literal retard. Don't reply to me

Look like a bunch of bisexuals

Migrate

They still have that whitey holding them together

if you have money harrogate is really nice, lots of nice bars/pubs the spoons there is absolutely elite aesthetically. skipton castle is ok if you like history shit, only a short train journey to leeds if you want to watch some rugby/footie.

Knaresborough is one of the more picturesque places and is in easy reach of York and Harrogate. Otherwise depends what you're into. There's the Dales, Skipton, laces like Filey on the coast that might be an interesting contrast to beaches in Aus. Then there's going to places like Leeds, Manchester, Durham, the Lake District.

>this attack
>pattinson

Mate...

I used to watch a CoD youtuber from Keighley with a thick Northern/Yorkshire accent, can't remember his tag. Anyone know who I'm on about?