/cric/

Important announcement lads:
HAHAHAHAHA

6 TO GO LADS

>taking reviews into account

that means the team which has reviews left are disadvantaged

>warnie seething because the umpire isn't making his decisions based on the DRS
shame he wasn't on commentary during the end of the headingley test, would have been glorious

How the fuck is paine still there
Honestly

>the wagon wheel
lmao

good wagon wheel that

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Business idea:
Take away an innings from Australia to keep the series competitive

hurr they need 6 to avoid the follow-on like we would even think of doing that

Should have been, but i don't think incoherent swearing makes for good commentary. funny though

Attached: l.jpg (1258x782, 117K)

LEEEEEACH

if Jack Leach belonged to the phylum Annalida, he would be Jack Leech

based buttler with that cheeky innings to keep shitting up the lineup for another 2 series

FUCKING PAINE IS COSTING US THE ASHES WITH HIS SHIT REVIEWS.
FUCK OFF PAINE.
FUCK OFF.

2 TO GO LADS

>Cheering this much about merely avoiding the follow on
Very dire.

ffs.

it's about the mental victory de su

Tbf dropping Roy, Bairstow, Denly AND Buttler at once might be a bit too disruptive.

>Can't even make this shit batting line up follow on
HAHAHAHAHA

Pack it up lads
It’s coming home

WE DID IT LADS
THE DRAW IS STILL ON

lol that nerd is wearing glasses

Fuck paine

He's shit, but what's with these blind umpires?

OH NO NO NO NO

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ahem

FUCK UMPIRES

I'm not even fussed if we fuck it up and still have to follow on, just enjoy laughing at Paine desu

You can't help but feel the Australian players may be allowing this game to get away from them here.

unironically fuming about that starc LBW, reviews shouldn't matter it was absolutely plumb

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Any idea why Erasmus didn't give it? Did he think there was an edge or something?

tbf the mistake was having them in in the first place

Reckon Paine will go for another 400 here before declaring

The amount of draws in test cricket needs to be addressed asap.

>we get to see smithy bat again this match

Based

>sibley
>burns
>denly
>root
>stokes
>pope
>bairstow/foakes (they don't have the balls for it)
>curran
>archer
>broad
>leach
for the last test IMO, but it won't happen

Can't see the coward Tim Paine declaring for anything less than 300

Chicken and Bun~
Chicken and Bun.
Chicken and Bun~
Chicken and Bun.

No clue, that was crazy
"""Going down leg""" maybe

Has to be Sibley, Foakes and Pope in for Buttler, Roy and Denly

we made 300 mate, I'm sure Ed Smith is happy with the lineup

It's almost like DRS exists for when umpires makes absolute howlers and not quibbling over marginal decisions

Reckon we put smith and labooschane in to open

any of you lads good at cricket?

World test championship is trying to solve that
keep calling out people who claim dead rubbers if a team has won the series with more tests to go
all match is worth going for the win

the assassination of Australia's ashes by the coward Tim Paine

Cazzie here. Is there an actual rule in place where you can't enforce a follow on if they've scored a certain amount of runs?

maybe they shouldn't make absolute howlers

The Cowardly Langer would never go for it.

no but I went to school with two current derbyshire players

My dear bros.

bowled a hat trick in my year 6 inter school carnival, other schools teacher took me out of the game for being too good

maybe leach could lend them a pair of specs or two

Yes it has to be below 200 runs of the total set
They wouldn't have enforced it anyway

You only get the option of the follow on if the second team to bat is over 200 down after the first innings

True, but until we get AI umpires smart use of DRS is always going to make a big difference

>ollie pope has a FC batting average of 60 batting at 5/6
>cannot get a game for england, despite our entire batting lineup averaging 30
bizzare, he's a muh positive intent batsman too so big brain ed should love him

Fuck up Jos

he did not just say that was buttlers first 4 of the series
surely that isnt right

not really but I'm a good teammate

domestic average

pic from the latest /cric/ meet up in lagos. me in the sunglasses

Attached: thelads.jpg (514x583, 54K)

>NO BALL
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

declare you pussies

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Can actually be less in rain affected matches

200 runs ahead in a 5 day game
150 in a 4-day
100 in a 3-day

nah that's fine on ya bike

Specialist fielder here

Why are Indian lads so handsy?

well I somehow managed to win the bowling award in my U13 side for my absolute pies

Take note jack Leach, that is how you bowl a legal delivery

SAME OLD POMMIES
ALWAYS WHINGING

teesras in taiwan

There was nothing behind the line. His full foot was on the ground, so you need to go off the sole, rather than the bulging piece of rubber an inch above it.

Bus change was averaging 60 something in the same league. It's daft that Pope hasn't been selected

aussies will need to declare today

The coward Tim Paine has no faith in his bowlers

>other schools teacher took me out of the game for being too good
Can we do that with Smith? Seems fair to me anyway.

So when does Paine declare lads?

Would have taken 301 at the start of the innings.

Business idea: Equip bowlers with big flippers protruding behind their heels to eliminate no-ball calls.

Used to bowl for a crrtain Engliah county U19. Had an economy rate of 1.86 and bowled about 86mph. Then I tore my ACL and I never bowled again. Been NEET ever since.

just made an epic meme lads
FUCK TIM PAINE

Attached: tim paine.jpg (542x826, 40K)

as the shadows grow longer so shall they declare

Based

played county junior cricket, unfortunately spent the ages of 15-18 injured and didn't play so probably a bit shit compared to what i could have been

He'll want a quick 150-200 and declare with a lead of around 350-400.

No point keeping Denly. Foakes has also been shit this year batting in counties.

I would do similar but keep Buttler and Bairstow and drop Denly. Whoever is 3 doesn't matter it's a walking wicket anyway.

If Paine even thinks of batting here he should be exiled

Have to wait for arranged marriage before they get any pussy. Excess sexual energy is expended in homoerotic touching and cuddling with their fellow unmarried buddies

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mum said my new shirt looks nice

Aussies will go the slog. Send England in with 30-60 minutes before the close of play. So likely a 350-400 lead.
England to collapse because it'll be too dark to see the ball.

1+ like

This is the post

not bad

Let's see it then.

ooommmggg such ebin meme, such luff

Genuine question - are you glad you played or would you rather you hadn't? I knew a guy who nearly swam for England at the Olympics and all he ever did was seethe about it.

This is unironically the best thing for Warner right now, to go out and play aggressive with his career on the line

how the fuck is nadal going to win the US open
what a hideously weak era
a full strength kafelnikov or pat rafter would blow him off the court

have a sense of humour lad

Played for Switzerland U-11s when I was a lad but stopped playing after cricket went off fta so am shit now.

reckon if we combined buttler, roy and denly we might find a test batsman capable of averaging more than 20

+1 tripcred

They should play rugby or some kind of contact football, works for us here

*GB, obviously.

Yeah I spent that age too injured to play junior cricket. I pulled my penis (in and out of women)

F

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warner out for a duck

Reckon 300-350 is when we should declare, we have to risk losing to win

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Too hot in India. Best to just get really close on the back of a motorbike

support oc please, there's some nice Jofra memes ready to be unleashed too

Should play 2 sessions max

daily reminder that this happened

Attached: ben GOATES.webm (1024x576, 2.86M)

Please post a photograph, I'm afraid I don't know your mother enough to trust her judgement.

sounds hot

top score of 68 from 69 balls.

Does that shemlit guy even watch the cricket or just wander around the crowd?

Yeah fair, he should definitely be selected over Roy, but don't forget Labushagne only fluked his way into the side and is constantly defying expectations
but it's the exact same story as Finch with our home series, ODI star they hoped they could meme into the longer format and just got stuck with him because they had no good enough replacement

A half strength Roddick would maul contemporary Nadal

The coward Joe Root getting Sir Ben Stokes to give the team talk

Why didn't Root say anything in the huddle? Isn't he the captain?

I knew there had to be one batting chad in here

so SO true

need a magic spell from broady

Coward Captain saying absolutely nothing, leaving it up to Stokes again

hahaha
Looks like Stokes was running that huddle
Just hand over the captain role to him already, Root is cooked

A good captain knows when to delegate

2019 has been a good year for cricket

>climb aboard user, we're off to the cricket

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stats.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/records/batting/most_runs_career.html?id=12758;type=tournament
some real grim reading here

>need a magic spell from broady

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England win is 50/1. Think that's pretty good.

>pop Into thread
>Say based sebbo
>Seething commences
>Leave
>Pop into thread
>Repeat

>Lyon took ZERO wickets
I'm finna thinking this will be a draw

Does Broad get Warner's wife's virginity if he gets him out again?

I literally got into cricket because of the World Cup.

Is Lyon cooked?

fake
he was out lbw
australia won the match

looks perfectly safe

An elite 7(8) incoming from Warner

>giving captaincy to our best batsman
yeah that worked really well on root average from mid 50s to mid 40s haha

Not seeing how that was hatworthy, lad.

>Warnkek

Hard to assert authrorutah when everyone knows your getting sacked

He'd have hard work finding the bloke who currently owns it.

Based. Please don't leave.

feeling good lads
got extremely loving parents and was born in the greatest country on earth
hit the jackpot

very layered this

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im just le trolling you
you shouldnt have replied

T O I L E T
R
Y
S
T

why'd you leave it

why would an aussie be using a british vpn?

Stuart Broad used to play at my local club when he was in Australia

Imagine letting Broad get a Maiden when you need to be slogging it.

I have no idea how to locate sebbo, but just to be safe we should lynch everyone in Ireland. Just to be safe.

england can only score max 250 a day

>SHITNER

for fucks sake

OH NO NO NO NO
OH NO NO NO NO
OH NO NO NO NO
OH NO NO NO NO
OH NO NO NO NO

Good lad, if you've any questions please do not hesitate to ask. Some of the anons here have even actually played cricket before, it's amazing some of the nuggets of information and insight available if you ask them.

HAHAHAHA it never gets old

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

warner wtf kent

Is this a joke

FUCK OFF WARNER

I'm not leaving, I'm addicted. This long-running chill sport is exactly what I need. How I didn't realise it sooner I'll never known.

oh for FUCKS SAKES.
DROP THE CUNT ALREADY.
HES COOKED.
TOTALLY TAILSPUN.

FUCK OFF TO PADDINGTON YOU DUMB CUNT

le smile when he's obviously suffering man

Steve Smith really has won the aussies the ashes on his own. Lucky them

OH SHIT OH NO NO NO

LITERALLY HEAD WEAK NOW

Deserves it

HES FUCKING SHIT

bread should be paying rent for living inside of warners head this long

kek warner is almost as shit as root

That's a pair for Warner, isn't it?

Warner is a cooked cunt Cooked good and proper

>warner
what the fuck I used to be terrified when he came out to bat against >us

> england won the world cup and an ashes test match due to umpire errors

warner is toast

WARNER YOURE SHIT

I swear to god if they include Warner in the order next match...

australia is a fucking ugly desert country and theres way too many east asians. and its too hot for white people
thinking australia is better than england is a literal reddit people

Reckon they might drop Warner for the next test?

You now remember Bancroft
You now remember Carey
You now remember Harris

lmao warner

KEK FUCK OFF WANKER
career died in Seffefrica

Why the fuck did Warner face the first over?
Shoulda let Harris face him

someone wipe that smug fucking grin off his face
imagine dropping koala for that fuckwit

optimistic

If only the rest of you thought that. Way too many chav cunts immigrating out here.

He's the ultimate homebabby

Especially in the 3rd innings he could completely take the game away from you in a few overs.

>fell for the get warner out early meme again to unlock bradman 3 and 2
ffs

Broad would challenge any rent request in court because he's got a good case for squatter's rights.

love this meme
>British continue to be the majority with 67.4% of the population. This is followed by other European ethnicities: Irish (8.7%), Italian (3.8%), and German (3.7%). Those of Chinese ethnicity represent 3.6% of the population and the Aboriginal, and Native Australians are now only 3%. Other ethnicities can also be found, though in smaller numbers: Indian (1.7%), Greek (1.6%), Dutch (1.2%), and Other (5.3%).

england are going to fucking win this series lmao

>too many east asians
glass houses mate

BIG STRONG SOUTH AFRICAN AUSTRALIAN

>Warner

I've never seen the desert and it's cold for six months a year where I live

>warncuck

Warner is so beyond fucked at this point, how is he still even in our side?

kek

didn't even review, stunning

7 all out

Before things get too exciting, what's the latest on Asian girlfriend? Imminent?

They'll never drop him. He has a fan club among half of Cricket Australia

>australia is a fucking ugly desert country
The state of English education.

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He's smiling cause the bookies gonna give him big wallet

going to the t20 blast tonight

>3 ducks in a row

yeah well im never going to live in london so i dont care
london isnt part of england . its some weird dystopic steampunk thing

Nah they hate him for that wage dispute

WHERE ARE THE RUNS? CAN I GET SOME RUNS? RUNS PLEASE? HAVE YOU SEEN MY RUNS?

Truthnuke: Broad is the best ashes bowler since McGrath
stats.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/records/bowling/most_wickets_career.html?id=1;type=trophy

Basically everyone who got C grades in their GCSE exams and likes Rugby League at my school tried to emigrate to Australia. It's seen as paradise for basics

Literally 14C right now

putting on the sunscreen lads

Wickets are unironically bad. England want maidens, forcing Australia to bat even longer, rather than blasting them out and having to bat for a full day+.

i will never move to australia because i simply dont want to live there and it doesnt appeal to me
u MAD?
ill stay forever in sussex but outside of brighton

Mate he's talking about Australia lmao
if you want to compare living outside a capital city here it will unironically be 95% white unlike England

>Archer still trying to bounce out the opposition
Just do what Broad did you nigger

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Autism.exe is warming up

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How many overs for Jofra today?

Look forward to Warner making runs in Australia on absolute roads and securing another two years in the team

hey i also live in Sussex outside of Brighton mental that

*steals your oneplus 6T*

HOW THE FUCK DOES HE GET ANOTHER DUCK

this was in an under 12's game. i'm not sure if it's more or less impressive. that was my last season, as i had to commit to a representative level of either cricket or football, and i'm a wog...

For me it's getting out plumb LBW but still telling my partner at the other end to not run

time for some real nigga t20 batting methinks

Everybody in England is a chav.

good, stay there

>not this again, i just want to play with my trains and eat my dairy milk chocolate block

brighton seaside is grim

Rugby League, or as I call it, Best Rugby

oh look, roy contributed something

kek

>the state of this /pol/tards reading comprehension
Even Melbourne (which everyone holds up as some sort of Chinese colony) is still like 90% white - which beats your countries national average

imagine being from the cultural wasteland of tucson arizona
plovdiv contains more culture in a cafe than arizona does in its entirety

Do I get to bat soon? I get to bat soon right? When do I get to bat? I want to bat now

Don't know how anyone can like living in this disgustingly overcrowded country. Tiny houses and too much traffic. And the population is still exploding thanks to our fucked low-wage low-education economy.

high iq post

HIT THE FOOKIN BALL.

>2019
>Chavs
We're all roadmen now

we're not talking about him thanks mate

Are you a mugger?

wanna go for a pint mate?

ill just buy another one

BLOWN THE FUCK OUT

australia's national average is under 90%, it would probably be below the UK if all the big strong englishmen didn't move there

Why dont the two with the whip simply turn around and attack the slavemaster

white people are overrated desu

mad how all the Aussies here live in one of four cities

negroes are not the most intellectual of animals

just went for a massive stuart baldy fraud lads

seething

>/pol/
grim

>Boris Johnson PM

Attached: ok.png (388x374, 156K)

What's the strip made of? Sand and gravel?

What strip?

DON'T NEED TO MOVE AWAY FROM NOTHING MATE

imagine unironically caring about the racial demographics of the country you live in

Yer mam's fanny strip

English cunts that immigrate here are the absolute worst
usually one of the following
>low IQ tradie that blasts techno music, blows all their money on drugs and booze, gets into punchups outside dire nightclubs in the city and has a recessive chin
>middle aged balding pseudo intellectual that has a job that involves sitting down all day (which really shows), very antisocial smartarse and constantly sweating from the heat, also has a recessive chin
>old retired cunts with recessive chins

ah yes, the parochial little englander who refuses to expand his horizons
stereotypes exist for a reason I suppose

>What strip?
The bowly strip.

Imagine using statistics and not just thinking there's too many darkies around

t. Xhao Ming

can only remember anderson and broad properly performing once outside of england
and that was in south africa and broads spell
both of them are a bit shit . its anglocentriscm to call them quality

Yeah, that's totally true. English anglos are quite thuggish. That is the result of soccer. Cricket is civilising.

brown leb hands typed this post

I have a recessive chin but I’m none of these.... maybe the second one

Can we follow on now we lead by 200 again?

god i wish that second one were me

Yes, me ma has a fanny strip made of sand and gravel, makes perfect sense.

>Haha Smoth got out to knock on hed
>Joffa best bowler
>England take urn
Pommie public didn't realise that the headshot had unlocked the full, primal, and incontestable raw autism locked in the deepest recesses of Smoths mind. Every possible delivery has now been computed in Smoths brain, and every reaction honed to perfection. We have seen the birth of the most autistic phenomenon yet conceived.

ive lived in bulgaria and colombia and now im staying in sussex forever because its home

probably evolving into the second one

Based cazzies seething

The pitch? It's grass, it gets covered and they put a big roller on it to flatten it.

Truth

is warner a specialist fielder now

Will Warner's wife still respect him as a man?

OH NO NO NO NO

She'll respect him just as much as she ever has.

>man
>5'7

youtube.com/watch?v=1wZfyttppOY

Attached: index.png (318x158, 6K)

strawpoll.me/10356788
strawpoll.me/10356788
strawpoll.me/10356788

Oh. Where there batting and bowling looks different thought it was a harder/different surface. Thanks.

Great work letting all that pressure off Broady

They've both had 20+ wicket tours of Australia, and they've both been pretty good in UAE when we've played there

give me a half strength mo asif over broad or anderson any day of the week
he totally mogs on them both

Proud father watching his son play for his country

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>Lights on
Just take the players off already ffs

Here's an detailed explanation, there's also loads of youtube vids on how to prepare a cricket pitch if that's easier for you too.
groundsmanship.co.uk/cricket/cricket-pitch-preparation

reckon I'll be on the sauce later tonight, apologies in advance for any low quality posts that may occur as a result

The Who fucking suck tßh, why are they even mentioned these days?

Just want Harris out already so i can watch some good batting again

Stuart Broad
Send me home
To my wife
And her son

DAVID WARNER
Washed-up batter
Stuart Broad
Send me home

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>UAE
lmao

i mainly remember broad for going for six sixes in a row against Yuvraj Singh

i can't respect warner getting out to this guy

yeah and nobody remembers a single wicket from any of them in any of those places because theyve completely impactless there
anderson has taken wickets in west indies ill give him that. anderson is fucking elite at home ill give him that but im not sure thats enough to make me want to call him elite. or at least feel comfortable about doing so

the kinks > status quo > the who > pink floyd

jazz up the twitter page again, be sure to @ Warner

Siddle's promised more choccy if he does well

Yeah, it's just the same grass but the groundsman will prepare it by roller and they usually cover it over against the rain, there's a lot to it really quite a fascinating subject

>smoth-like autism
This is the play

>cazzie who doesn't watch away tours
Don't remember 6-81 in Brisbane?

Love the fact Labuschagne really wants to learn from Smith and Smith himself is happy to teach him
He even has Smith bowling to him in the nets
Such a pure relationship

andrew flintoff is englands best bowler since bob willis. reasonably untested outside of england but he could have taken wickets anywhere because he was genuine quality. never should have tried his at batting though because he was a genuine oaf with the bat, and so his bowing potential is unknown

youtube.com/watch?v=qwVJ7FWc4rQ

England has never had a quality fucking bowler like cummins or mcgrath or warne.

I tried to introduce gaelic football to my primary school. All that happened was got called gay-licker for the rest of the year.

cute

GET A BROWN DOG UP THE HARRIS

Not liking Broad running off without even looking back at the umpire desu.

FFS

FUCK

archer's back

Probably Swann desu

we out here

REVIEW IT

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Bringing on Punished Smith this early
England are cooked

Attached: Punished Smoth.jpg (624x476, 23K)

i watch every test match but no i dont really because it wasnt impactful. we got hammered that series

Faggots should've never been let get away with repurposing such a wonderful word as gay

That was Watto tier. It was pretty plumb.

going to have another slice of quiche

>unlocking the god partnership again

oh nononononononono

All you've done is activate our trap card

Wonder if Labuschagne speaks Afrikaans

Brave Englishmen saving the world from the Australians, again.

Smith Century on the cards lads
England are fucking stupid

>Watto review

>All that happened was got called gay-licker for the rest of the year.
Kek

He invented the celebrappeal.

i'm taking a shit, what happned?

yeah i mean fast bowlers. swann is a wanker anyway whatever

business idea: abolish openers for australia and england because we don't have any

It's his trademark

fallen for the trap
250-2 d incoming

Masochistic stuff

Yeah he actually had to learn English when he moved to Aus, he's really from the boonies of SA

>get harris and warner out
>labu and smith in
why do england keeping making the same mistake?

SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO ME
this wouldn't be happening if we played some FUARKING SHOTS, IT'S BLOODY TONKING TIME

>letting Labooshane and Smith bat together again this early

England havent learned yet obviously

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CAN YOU ROCK AND ROLL IT FORWARD FORWARD...STOP... FORWARD BACKWARDS, FORWARD FORWARD.

You should've brought your phone with you, that's what.

Sir Stuart Broad happened

anyone have that image of the tall and short keanu reeves but the short one has loosebuschange's face and the tall one smoth's?

Please tell me Harris is gonna be Watto 2.0

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Business idea: you guys can have roy and denly next test, we get warner and harris. It's not like it'll change anything.

Have an idea, have a second bowl at Smith from behind when he's not looking.

Aus top order crumbling as usual but they are too far ahead for it to matter

Fuck Smith and Labushagne, need Wade in here to make a ton quicksmart

>status blow
"no"

BIG STRONG EAST COAST BOYS

England fell into the Aussie trap again, letting Labuschagne and Smith bat together again
Smith century looms
Labuschagne 50 looms

Just turned on ashes. HOLY SHIT ENGLEL MIGHT WIN THIS IF THEY CAN JUST GET TWO MORE QUICK WICKETS

HA HA

why doesn't everybody just get runs like steve smith

SHOULD HAVE FORCED THE FOLLOW ON

australia should be unironically banned from using reviews
we all know the outcome anyway

>quick wickets
>with Bradman 2.0 and 3.0 at the crease
England will be batting tomorrow lad, this is comfy batting time

>tfw the image i made is still being posted

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>just found out England beat the follow on by 3 fucking runs

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Reckon England should think about getting these 2 batsmen out, especially Smith.

>International cricketer can't tie their laces properly (legitimately, that was the wrong way)
That was painful.

Why are you all pretending those two wickets matter lmao

F for velcro strap

Why is everyone so shit except Smith? He's about 3-4 leagues higher

not comfortable talking with someone squeezing one out
please finish and then return to /cric/

Want to just see Smith bat for 2 days lads

need smith out and need him out NOW

Steve smoth out for less than 20 screen cap this

Get smith out imo

Reminder that this could have been Smiths 8th consecutive century if he wasn't coward balled

It was an umpire conspiracy. England got bowled out about 4 runs short, but they conspired to give them all out off a no ball 3 runs after they'd passed the follow on.

I wish the follow-on was enforced more purely so that 'avoiding the follow-on' was more of an achievement and a goal.

The key to this match is getting more runs than the Aussies after two full innings.

Smith wicket > 9 wickets

might nip down the local walkabout later and kick the shit out of an aussie then fuck his wife

this is THE partnership

Chuck it at smiths head imo

>Teams start bowling wides/no-balls to let them within 200 so that they can bat them out of the game

using smith is not fair and should be considered a war crime of cricket

Englands brave county trundler geoffrey archer

And doing so within the five scheduled days of play, if that makes sense.

Based

why is nobody talking about afghanistan mogging on bangladesh?
its truly important and massive cricket news. think afghanistan cricket didnt even exist in the early 2000s as far as anyone knew and now theyre literally giving bangladesh (a long term, vaguely '''improvig''' test cricket team) a lesson AWAY from home in bangladesh. afghanistan cricket is one of the greatest miracles in sport ever

australia are better than england at cricket. everybody knows this. ive lost interest

>It is a 'Smith gets another century' episode
>It is a 'Labuschagne gets another 50' episode
>It is a 'Smith and Labuschagne form a much needed partnership' episode
Sick of these re-runs tbqh, wish England would change it up

Marnus is still young, but with the promise he's showing, we still need to see him convert a 50 into a 100.

celebrating the avoidance of the follow on might be seen as cope, by some

fuck off paki

Actually hate archer now. TELL HIM TO BIWL 90MPH THAT SHIT BACK

Looking forward to another innings of bowling too short

>tfw England won Test 3 due to Australia using up all their appeals
>tfw England will draw Test 4 because the Aussies don't have enough time
>tfw England will win Test 5 in the most undeserved Ashes victory of all time and Steve Smith will cry

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Really hoping he gets it when he as at the crease with Smith
Want that picture perfect moment to post forever

i'm fucking SICK of steve smith

can he just fuck off

Afghanistan are definitely on the way up

should have beaten pakistan in the World Cup but their captain is a retard

based autism man

based smithy spergout mode

>that Smoth autism when the ball doesn't do what his autism said it would

the fuck kinda name is marnus?

Australian

Yeah wish I could've watched it but I couldn't find a stream
First test century for them as well

smithbot is experiencing technical difficulties

isn't that where we send all the boat people?

Truth

voortrekker

kek i fucking love smoth desu

:o

In the dead of night I wake; the cool beads of sweat tumbling from my fearful brow. Every night, on and on, like a mad, perverted, merry-go-round, the nightmares continue. It's that dreadful dreary dream. Smith, his face contorted into a vision of pure malice. With a might WHACK of the bat the ball flees to the boundary in mournful resignation. My hope scrambles at my feet. There is nothing, NOTHING, that I can do, to stem this awful tide. Who am I? I am every bowler in the world.

Smith won't last long, need Wade sixing it all over the ground NOW

ooooooooo...oooooooo ooooooooo

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how to get smith out?
simple, just let matthew critchley have a bowl at him

>Chinese
>3.5%

Fake news. No fucking way is it that low.

Scomo "stopped" the boats bruv.

>bruv

facts don't care about your feelings sweety

soeufefriken, nickname/diminutive of Hermanus

Aaagh isa pooha on sky and ebony whatever the fuck on TMS

COLLAPSE

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Wtf I love Archer again now

REVIEW IT

now that was outside

When god tells you to review, you review

we fully out here

Only 10 overs in and Australia has already blown both of their reviews.
Can't wait for more bitching about them not being able to challenge howlers.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

GONE GOT IM FUCK OFF

have australia EVER successfully reviewed a decision in test cricket?

>Umpire's call
They'll keep that review, mate

Oh my god
Its happening again

Bed just called, sorry lads

DONT COLLAPSE YOU RETARDS
jesus christ

At least when Paine comes in he can't piss away a review now

loosebuschange.exe has stopped working

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I think we might be fucked lads

>pozzstralia in charge of reviews
LMAOING AT YOUR LIFE

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>spitting gum on pitch
filth

Walk on bus cunt

ON YER BIKE BOAR CUNT FUCK OFF

>umpire's call

noticing all these LBWs could've been avoided by PLAYING SUM FACCKING SHOTS

Relax lads, Smoth all that matters

Australia are striking fear into the hearts of the English by suggesting this pitch is getting harder to bat on, 200IQ strategy

words cannot express how deeply i care about cricket

Yeah then they'll end up like Bowledstow.

Think England are playing themselves out of the match here.
They won't be able to chase 200+ and won't survive a full day batting.

Are memes happening again lads?

Just get the rest of them out LBW

I was looking forward to a long innings by aus 2bh

Suicidal declaration from Paine he lost the ashes with that call

Might run out of partners la

>Ump call
Still hasn't got Smith out though

Business idea: Just score runs

le the Australian census is self reported, it's more like 65% and white genocide will happen in the next 5-10 years. Just look at the current amount of Chinese parliamentarians, easily 40% or more.
There's also all those other Asian people claiming to not actually be Chinese, all of those other countries were made up, they all look the sane they must all be the same, don't be fooled. Empirical evidence is also not to be trusted, science is the ultimate spook.

Australia 48 all out
Smith 19*

anticipating a capable 12(32) from head here

The Chinese population is underrepresented because they're a revolving door. Businesses in Melbourne CBD have a mini-recession once all the Chinese students go home from Uni during their break. A more than decent portion of Chinese people go home after they're finished with uni here...

>Joe couldn't be bothered to go

Is he pound for pound the worst employee of all time?

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AAAAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHA FUCK OFF AUSSIES

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These posts aged poorly

not if they hit the ball

archer you little legend

Bit disappointing that i couldn't post this at a better time

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Is Archer powered by the sun? As soon as it warms up he gets going.

>Warner 0 (6)
What dinension of chess is this guy playing on?

I can confidently say that sydney alone is at least 1/3rd chinese, never mind all the other ethnos

>science is the ultimate spook.
That's more a /leftypol/ meme.

Imagine being so braindead that you think that Australia getting bowled out quickly is bad for them

I love Asians, as long as they're not the British kind that is.

Aussies should just declare. Easy win for them.

holy shit im so based and intelligent
reckon i could learn fluent french in three months if i really wanted to

Isa's hair looks very pretty

kek

Disappointed if we don't win from here lads

reminder that wage labour is inherently exploitative

Mate, I've been to Sydney and it's easily 3/4 Chinese and you don't know what you're talking aboutn

Imagine declaring on 497 and not 500
Disgraceful captaincy I tell you

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aus should just declare, england aren't gonna chase down 220

Root will give Jof a good whipping for that one

Lads how does a railcard work?

Never had one before. Apparently I can link it to my Oyster Card for the tube yeah?

this, just giving the bowlers a nice little break

Ironically true. Bowlers wanting a rest is the only reason why they wouldn't.

Would love to see Archer launch a pie at Smith's throat and kill him.

he's preparing for his triumphant return as a commentator to england next time around
>um yeah nice to see you guys haha lots of good memories of this ground broady took 12 balls this time to get me haha
>um yeah hes a bit of a cunt haha no worries
>yeah my wife is a lovely lady never been fucked by sonny bill in a toilet clearly photoshopped haha

KEK
what was that

Right back at you

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>Nigger fielding
Looks like Archer getting whipped again

Holy fuck I can’t stand Archer. He is just a lazy black sack of shit.

HA HA

dude no anime

where in sydney did you go. it's not 3/4 Chinese in bondi, maybe in ultimo

>he doesn't use multi-hooked baits
desu, it needs to be twice as long as it is but I'm only half interested

Do you understand how Test cricket works, you stupid Maori scumcunt?

Business idea: time to introduce the crisp packets

fuck off back to /pol/

Smith is well and truly cooked out there

Smith is off today

Pitch is getting worse as well, look at those dust clouds. Would be feeling optimistic if Lyon wasn't playing like shit, maybe Labushagne can take wickets

He's trying very hard to be clever

imagine if we didn't have smith
australia would be windies tier

Name the suburbs then

Chinatown mate, absolutely crawling with Chinese. Was like playing spot the Aussie

Reminder that we should've let Japan conquer us in WWII.

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Fuck Smith, get it together already

Sad but true

chatswood is probably unironically 3/4ths, even seeing a white face is cause for consolation

I miss the windies being good, hope big Cornwall leads em to the promised land

I said the word again guys haha

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Chatswood, literally all of Liverpool, Lane cove ect.

Imagine the anime

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>not knowing smithy always takes an age to get in

They would have used us as slave labour

wheres new thread criccucks

don't respond to him, he lives in a dead end corner of arizona and has absolutely no idea what the real world is like

imagine how small your pp would be if you were half jap

What about Kingsford and Kensington?

Just realised that was fatguts

Honestly
Smith and Labuschagne have had tons of luck
Smith moreso, don't expect Smith to get his average today desu

pusy slaves?

anyone want to come french lessons with me in brighton next wednesday?

yeah it's pretty simple mate. aus declare, bowl england out for 150 and win the ashes.

Mine and agricultural slaves

Hope a few Aussies commit suicide today

You only say that because he has spent way more time at the crease than anyone else

>win the ashes.
Retain m8

ah yes
the promising young prospect marnus labuschagne

Non, merci

Duolingo mate

No zachy

chatswood is very chinese, but you're still overestimating. Probably because you're young, so you notice young people more, and the chinese people are usually student aged.

Liverpool mentioned

Shit fellas. Been going on dates with a Chinese international recently. Managed to get a snog in but she's hard to get to bed. She speaks pretty bad English but she's damn cute. Worth it?

What's happening lads, just got back from lunch.

Nah too many of us for that.

That is not a friendly thing to say.

I would, took French last semester and unironically enjoyed it.

So true

nah i need classroom inspiration. duolingo doesnt work. by attending a class ill feel like im really making an effort and that will spur me on

the usual top order stuff for this series.

>it's another australia shit the bed episode

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>a few
any less than 50 would be a disappointment

Openers getting nothing, Smith getting 100 so

miiiiiiiiighty mighty england

Preparing for a video interview lads

>draw the fourth test
>bat first in the fifth test
>just keep making runs and avoiding losing wickets until you win the series on a draw

cringe

you'll be seeing zachybombs in french here before 2021

fuck off burma

now I understand why you lost the wc final without losing

Not on joking about suicide really is it mate. Its a scourge.

I
II
III

England should prepare a 'results pitch' like in 2009 (i.e. a 'hope you win the toss and bat first' pitch).

NOT WORTH, never let your fluids be stolen. You will die.

Good luck. If they ask you question you don't want to answer, just pretend there is internet trouble. Failing that you could flash your knob, see where that gets you. I don't have vid interview experience but I do have knob flashing experience.

french dont play cricket just to spite the english
im going to rise above it and learn french

Why are you guys so lazy
New

||\°

For me it's German the premier European language besides English

Couldnt give a shit about suicide jokes its just shit banter

explain french cricket then

Not a live interview haha. Need to record my answers and send it to them.

Can't handle the banter, cunt?
Kill yourself.

As long as they're not White Australians, then sure. Sounds good to me.

AAHHHH

FUCK FUCK FUCK

no frenchmen to be seen really
its an inexplicable tragedy because test cricket suits frenchmen down to a crossaint

based and 12(19) pilled

the miraculous afghanistan
the tragic absent france

I highly recommend you still flash the ol' Mitchell Johnson. Show them you have initiative.

That Travis Head performance went down like a Travis Lead balloon.

Need a review there

It's another rerun of the team collapsing around Smith

Laughed at this much more than I should have.

Love Broad
Love Stokes
Love Australia
Love meth
Hate Root
simple as

You're on a VPN and never set foot in Australia if you think only 4 in every 100 is a chink. It's a literal race replacement occurring.

Not him but there's barely any outside of the cities. Rural Australia brings down the chink %

don't reply to him

>England reached 300 in the first innings
>think they can chase 250+

>be top 10% in a good state school in a posh area
>end up an english teacher at 28
many such cases

>Go to uni to study physics
>Know I will end up, at best a shitty school teacher.
Just cut me from the tender threads of existence and cast me down to were the beasts lay.

BASED LEACH

youtube.com/watch?v=ptyt9FK1v4E

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>Broad
>strike rate 45
>average 25
yikes

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