Cric

the anderson role

People won't believe me, but I've fucked this girl. In fact, I am the one who gave her genital herpes.

You are probably a better bloke than they are.

horrible thread.

>not I'd never have a hairy one

quick rundown on shane warne?

You're probably just a better bloke mate. Women aren't all totally shallow. [spoiler] or maybe you're better in bed [/spoiler]

Incel/pua memes about smv are full of shit.
Did anyone get a screengrab of Bairshit's rage face on getting bowled yet a fucking gain

Madoka WILL save /cric/

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Root should declare at 290. The Aussies won't be expecting it and no one will be mentally ready to bat (except Smith).

That's a grill?

better how?

wickets loom

Rothchilds bow to the Warne

Nicely done mate, i woulnt dwell on it much if shes seems genuinely happy. Some birds like to think that they are more of a catch than their other half. Maybe she does. How did you meet her?

Thought it was 298 to avoid follow on

Should I join my local cricket club?

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save it from what?

>Farokh Engineer
>was never an engineer
might have to say something

Funnier. More kind. More laid back. More accepting or understanding of her problems. Maybe you treat her like a person instead of a dumb woman. Could be any number of things.

save it from anime cancer.

Paine won't enforce the follow on.

FOUR

Can't think of a reason you shouldn't

>Paine
can't wait till Smith is captain again so we can actually have a good wicket keeper when we remove Paine

4

Honestly a lot of men in those careers have some kind of fucked up attitude to life. They're often obsessed with work/money or had strict as fuck parents who've given them this feeling that whatever they do they'll never be successful so they're insecure as fuck. Often they're also so pampered they literally can't live life without having a woman look after them, either in terms of chores or just emotionally.

Probably you're just a well rounded bloke.

>Steve Smith
>never a Smith
>Travis Head
>has a body
>Nathan Lyon
>not a real lion

She drove through my town on her long drive on her way back home a few months ago and stayed the night. Matched her on Bumble and met her. I was expecting it to be a one night thing and never hear from her again, but she kept in contact with me. And by coincidence, we both ended up getting new jobs in the same city and relocated at around the same time.

Sebgang

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>david warner
>doesn't warn people

why

>>Nathan Lyon
>>not a real lion
Reaching a bit lad, unlike Paine as a wicket keeper

fug, it's over.

KNIGHTHOOD REVOKED

FUCK OFF GINGER CUNT

>Mitchell Starc
>Doesn't bowl naked

Stokes exposed by Starch of all bowlers

>Rory Burns
>not on fire
>Jos Buttler
>not a servant
>Jofra Archer
>doesn't even own a bow

ogre

>Stokes
hahahahahahahahahahaha
OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

>wicket right after replays of wickets

Yeah bit of a mystery for sure m8, you sound like a bit of a dweeb.

Dear oh dear

Our only hope now is Paine is just too nice to enforce the follow on.

AH RIGHT

tfw found it

Convinced Buttler has the technique for test match cricket

Onnnnn the market

55 TO GO LADS

Sounds like she wants genuine companionship and you're giving that to her. Don't overthink it if she seems happy. Dont be complacent either just be aware of when you're worrying about nothing and when you aren't

Why do you even post here? No one reads your posts/replies, and no one cares about you.

Based sebbo

OGRE

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>Archer
Ah yes, get to see some Submarine periscopes

Imagine doubting based starcy

Bit mean lad

Le jogging West Indian man

54 TO GO LADS

I didn't mean you lad

Lmao that shot of Root.
He's cooked.

just want a test team I can believe in lads

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>the nigger not running quick enough
Holy fuck, how has England hyped this guy up
Need Root out there to scare him

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50 TO GO LADS

Jofra looking frazzled lads

Bit mean m8

fucking hell wish you could replay on 9, missed his jog

Why did he go to downing street in fancy dress as a year 8?

Take this black cunts head off

Is Mitchell Starc still bad?

I'm quite glad England are going to lose this. If they'd somehow saved this match and won at The Oval everyone would be crowing about what a glorious victory it was, when the reality is that it would be one of the most ill-deserved series wins in history. With this loss Root will surely go, along with some of the shit which has been clogging up the team for too long.

Any chance we won't make them follow on?

Fucking hell Jofra

ill-deserved wins are our speciality as a nation

>Root gets you to start trundling while bowling
>Also start trundling during batting

100% follow on will not be enforced

Don't want to be batting last, I'd guess we'll come in, push the chase up to around 400 then let England have a bat tomorrow and try to bowl them

Possible that Paine will decide to whack a few for 1 session

Tim Paine is reviewing the idea in his head right now

>Did Archer say to you he is going to the strikers next year
Holy fuck based Wade bringing the bants to the nigger

>Matty Wade talking shit
I like it

kek whats wadey on about?

Lads

Got an urgent message to get to Joe Root.... What's the best way to get it to him?

Might be wrong but I think there was a bit of an oversight and the team is batting for a one day, not test match.

How can we let him know?

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follow on chat is moot because Jofra is on for a big 150*

>implying
big jof's making a double here mate

Pretty much guaranteed we won't

footy now
f1 later
then cric
finish with ufc

simple as

Wade banting the fuck out of Archer right now
Holy fuck, laughing my ass off right now

I am fucking loving this sledging

never seen helmet guy before in my life

Very reminiscent of the 80s when Beefy would bail us out and we didn't have to think about the inability to play spin, or the lack of quality fast bowlers. It was only in the late 90s that changes started to be made

If we didn't have a based bowling attack and Smith and Labushame I could say the exact same for us.

wade is seething

Well done Aussie lads for winning the series.
Australia is incredibly based

So glad they turned the stump mics on
Loving this from Wade

based
cringe
based
cringe

>if we didn't have some good batsmen and bowlers we would be lucky to win

Wade can fuck off
Bogan cunt

Is Steve Smith a better batsman than what Sachin Tendulkar was?

might say something about the big temporary stand lads haha

yes

>Don't make us send you back to the cotton fields nigger, run, run
How the fuck did Wade get away with this?

Most people in the medical field are fucking cunts.

fuck me how did that miss everything

You have good batsmen too they just aren't performing in the same way Warner isn't for us.
His average is 2nd only to the Don.

Seccos should kick Wade out for harassing Archer, absolutely disgraceful

For me it's a cheeky Broad 34(40)

wonder how many times buttler has said "it's butt with two Ts" to somebody taking his name

me and the lads

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48 TO GO LADS

for me, it's broad getting his toes destroyed by a 150kph yorker

>not the legendary

Broad 4(2)

Fake af

I'm thinking Broad 0 (1) here lads

Root is the only one with a career average over 40. Worst England batting line up I can remember

lookin good m8s

good view
apart from that shitty brown building

guess the cazzies were right about storc after all ay

Always found that spelling strange as fuck, lots of the English players' names seem to be completely wrong

cam on englund

Are you the red t shirt guy on the right?

Racist cunt

I am why too drunk to be posting here but: I enjoy the banter of Wade. Both Australians and English should remember that this is just a sport series and we should all just have fun watching these elite sportsman doing what they love. Whether Australia or England win this series, we should all remember how much fun this is for all of us. My sister just got married, I'm pissed of my tits, and, I love the lot of you, now matter what country you come from

They aren't going to enforce the follow on regardless

Is Jofra a bigga nigga than Smith is a autist?

And even he's regressed and forgot he's playing test

based, but also cringe.

all in all more based than cringe.

Commentators can only compare Smith to Bradman, but at least they can compare modern day batsmen to another one with Smith
lol

I'm the man in middle photo. The two guys either side of me are my sons.

I miss Broad's batting. Proper tailender meme slogs which always seemed to miss the fielder, made sweeter because you knew the oppo all hated him. Swann was good for this too

youtube.com/watch?v=P3_Nqc2iN9Q

>we're only still in this because he chimped out and assaulted your autist

It would seem so

Wow good point there

I think Paine might be the worst keeper I've ever seen

>His average is 2nd only to the Don.
I mean, Adam Voges is 3rd...

and basically let what could potentially be another great batsmen into the team batting consistently

Why is Buttler on the team? Complete waste of space
Neither a bowler nor a bat be

>With this loss Root will surely go
Yeah, just like Cook went after losing 5-0 in a series England were expected to win. Root is not going to resign after narrowly losing a series he was expected to lose.

can't be much worse than kamran akmal

He's really there for his captaining skills though.

Nah, Wade was worse

you don't even need to look beyond this series to see a worse one

robbing foakes of a place

>expected to lose
>forgetting the media saying they would win becasue they would have the World Cup victory pushing them on

England spoiling my weekend here

Yikes

massive fucking no ball get him off red card ref

Finally getting some chat back, bit sick of le virtuous above it all aussies

T. Head

Ricky Ponting.

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can we clone gilly?

Why is root captain anyway. Shouldnt it go to one of the more senior players?

Tactical no ball from Cummins so he can bowl a full over to Archer

he cute

Someone tell Jofra he can't block to victory here

We lost that one because of Johnson engaging beast mode, not because of Cook's shit captaincy. Also, Cook was new to the job, and had just won the ashes at home.
You can argue this series loss is due to Root's shit captaincy, overbowling Archer, fucking around with Woakes, shit selection which he has a say in, and generally losing the plot when Smith is at the crease instead of having a plan and sticking to it. Roots been captain a while now and it's clear he's shit

England only want a draw here mate

42 TO GO LADS

Jofra? More like Joffrey, haha!

FOR WAKAANDA

That's literally what he should be doing

fondly remember when broady would just bowl 6 bouncers in an over before the bouncer rule

labuschagne looks like a newspaper boy from the 20s

Draw will be a huge victory after Aus first innings total and our batting so far.... Slow and steady to stop the follow on

Would a lad who had had no cricket technique at all (never learned to
how to bat, never even watched cricket before) but had the reaction time and hand eye coordination to just slog out huge scores and a huge average like a baseball batter, be considered the best cricket batsman of all time?

Didn't even think of Jofra, meant more Jos and Jonny

If England get to within 200 of Australia do they win the ashes

HOLY FUCK PAINE IS FUCKING TERRIBLE
Smith needs to grab him by the collar and tell him to stop wasting reviews all the fucking time
So glad he didnt go to review it

What bouncer rule?

*winning*

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Really dire performance

Saving it for the fourth innings.

Jofra is a downhill skier

only 2 allowed in an over now

can only have 2 or 3 in an over
>farcher

big brain play from archer, wafting outside off is the best way to win a test match.

On ya bike blacky

FUCK OFF

>ENGLAND'S BRAVE JOFRA ARCHER
OFF TO THE COTTON FIELDS NIGGER

IDIOT

Bouncer rule has been in for years mate. Remember Merv Hughes arguing with Dickie Bird about whether he was allowed another

really, really problematic posters itt

WHY CANT ANY OF YOU LEAVE THE FUCKING BALL
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

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>shartcher

I think Archer is regretting picking England lads

jofra is a paper tiger

If England can win after a first innings 67 they've pretty much already got this in the bag, every run over 100 is just eating into Stokes' future winning innings

Don't think many people who care about the Ashes were expecting England to win this after we lost the last series 4-0.

Cook got absolutely roasted after 2013-14. Agree that the management team is dire this time but it was equally clear in 2014 that Cook was no captain. He was weak and lacked leadership.

>The United Kangdom of “Great” Britain and Norn Island

Honestly this, it really looks like he doesn't want to be there

he's spinning in his farm right now

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Mikey holding set him up
Twat

Any rain due? Can't really see England hanging on (if Australia enforce the follow on) if there isn't.

>/cric/ was posting during the Aus innings that Paine should've declared earlier
APOLOGISE. Those 40 extra runs will win the match.

wade got into his head

four

Yep give him a review

Yeah, we'll have a review, mate

yeah, we'll have a review m8.

REVIEW IT

>Paine challenge
Oh no no no

38 TO GO LADS

>Paine reviewing that
Like holy fuck seriously, make Smith the one to decide not Paine
Sick of these shite reviews

For me, it's a coward Paine review

Don't care ordering a Smith poster for the band room, he is don level now

TIMOTHY “OI YEAH NAH FUCKIN REVIEW IT LAD” PAINE

that was in Australia and without Stokes, everyone thought England would win this ashes given how shit >we were at home against India

I wonder what Lyon said to get him to review that...
>review pitching outside off

Le review and lose man

WAAEY

To be fair it looks like Lyon talked him into it

>david warner
>nobody warned him he was marrying a whore

Paine should review his career

>wickets missing?!

waded waded through his mind

...

Loving the umpiring this game
Absolutely hating on Paine captaincy
Langer needs to heem him when they come back to the pavilion

kek I can see from here it's too high why can't he see that from behind the stumps

There's only two wickets left, it was worth a punt

lol

4

He's a fucking mongoloid who thinks everything is out. It would be like putting Broad in charge of reviews

What's Paine record in this series now? 6 for 27?

You've seen him bat.
>Thinking he can judge the spin / bounce

Nadal or Medvevev?

Warner has broken my heart had the chance to be the tough man, biffo with root at the pub come out and smack some runs, but yep, oled, his misses, and then the sand paper,

Medvedev in 4

>Lyon off the field
going to be especially grim if he doesn't take a wicket this innings given the way the crowd is eating into him

Imagine if someone other than Paine was captain.
England would be utterly cooked and 3-0 down by now.

same amount of reviews left as lyon's wickets lads

Even when his team are in a great position Paine still acts as if he's cooked

Broad has a proper no.11 technique these days, love to see it.

Nadal in straights

As long as we avoid the follow-on, this should be a draw with some nice defensive batting.

Do you mean everyone in Oz thought England would win? Nobody here did, we fluked a win against India, then got heemed in the West Indies, then needed a miracle to beat Ireland. It was obvious to anyone the batting was dogshit, and we were getting bailed out by bowling under clouds and slogging down the order

Marrying a whore is alpha as fuck. He took the wild beast and tamed her so she only performed for him.

love how paine is so awful yet is going to do something neither punter nor pup could do here

broad looks massive when hes got all the batting gear on

Wish I had a buttler (female) who was a broad

Hes not our real captian, he's on there cause they booted smith for a year but i dont want smith to be captain again he is the one man team, but we need to find our new captian

Why do people care about the captain so much. Just a scapegoat. Not like they really do anything

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT TO YOU CAZZIES, >we aren't going to enforce the follow on

cant take that risk

>England in charge of nice defensive batting

that brings the draw into play (australia loses)

>test match batting from this team

Yeah that's going to be a problem mate with our /naturalgame/

Why wouldn't you with only a day and a half left?

do more learning

F-O-U-R

>only performed for him

Well >you should

29 TO GO LADS

Can le bus change captain?

>india

OH NONONONONO

England were definitely the favourites at home, yes England looked and are shit but so does Australia, on the balance you'd have to pick the home team. Even with Smith back there was a big fear being out the of game for so long would hurt him, and he didn't look that rgeat in the world cup
also betting odds favoured England

except set the fields
except organising bowling spells
except having a hand in the selection process

see how that goes down with your mates at the pub

Too green at the moment. He will one day probably

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You Langer is a Cork expression meaning basically you wanker, sometimes drunk wanker. I'm not from Cork so I'm not exactly certain, they're their own people down there.
Everytime someone says Langer I can hear a Corkman yelling it out, like.

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without smith we are nothing right now, bowling is high caliber but not enough, batting is the worst, warner should be making at least 30 to 50 every innings

But they dont do anything. They literally have a braintrust of backroom staff telling them what to do. Captains do shit all.

Can buttler awaken his inner stokes?

28 TO GO LADS

>disrespecting lambshanks like that
Lad

24 TO GO LADS

I'm sure everyone's name is obscene is some irrelevant part of the world.

Same old England...

if you are nothing without smith, where the fuck would we be without stokes. we'd another 2/3 batsmen and a bowler to replace him in this side

>taking that single

england's physio on again

Business idea: Enforce follow on and win by an innings

Fucking hell look at the size of his noggin.
Must be a colossal fucking brain in there.
Can't even begin to imagine the levels of knowledge of wisdom he's achieved.

It's actually riskier to enforce the follow on
Potential for the bowlers to get too tired and than England wallops them, then >we're forced to bat on a day 5 pitch and Leach tears us to shreds
If we get England out before lunch >we'll be much happier piling on 150 odd runs and sending England in before the end of the day, then going at them the whole day 5 with an insurmountable total
England could potentially have to chase down 400 for a win on day 5 which would be beyond their reach
see above

cut his head off? wow

It's hydrocephalus m8

Back in my day we didn't have breaks during the test match, just lunch and tea breaks none of this rubbish

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highlight of the day right there

He is the funnel between said brains trust to the players, the coach can never be a player and you need someone to unite and become the atttitude and philosphy of the team, you're right about the brains but every team that wins or becomes a great through history has a captain that is hard but fair and leads by example without that attitude and skill to back it up your team is no where fast

Bumble's an absolute madman

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Top bantz

Shut up bumble
Cringelord

This is exactly my point
with Smith and no stokes at home Aus beat England 4-0
with a questionable Smith and in form Stokes in England it was thought England were favourites

ynr rest days

hope lyon get's his century this innings, he deserves it.

that random guy in the yankees cap going out of his way to let everyone know hes not with her lel what a cunt

bumble lmao

>England getting smashed
>Still manages to offer a lot of high stakes drama
Ashes are kino.

We expected to have Anderson on pitches that suited him, archer bowling 90mph+, woakes in form from the WC, broad coming back into form, stokes holding up an end when Ali inevitably failed and Curran pushing for a place.

Instead we got stokes having to do the front line bowling, Anderson crocked, archer trundling, woakes shit, broad average, Ali still shit and Curran ignored for Overton.

Can't believe Jofra got stranded on 97.

when it is in england it is

Wouldnt mind bumbling those knockers tbqh

Evening all. Great to be here for what looks to be yet another english capitulation

the dutchess of scandal lads

That's true, still amusing though.
I'm convinced now to not enforce the follow on

i'll concede we might have been slight favourites until jimmy's injury.

i agree you poms are in all sorts of trouble, archer is a meme, he will be around for a while but typical man of colour, can not over come his emotions and play for the team, didn't take long for it to show, but yeah wouldnt want to be from the mother land right now

grim, feel bad for the lad.

Nathan Lyon is such an ugly twat

Oh yeah forgot Jimmy lmao, >you were definite favourites
I'll concede though it wasn't outright favourites

i love how the auzzies put so much sunscreen on.

there's hardly any sun out there

can't help but feel our other batsmen needed to score more runs

he looks like a disney villain

NICE FACE GARRRRRYYYYY

it's warpaint

GREAT NOSE GAZZA REALLY BIG FAN OF YOUR MASSIVE FOREHEAD GAZZA

Cummins is bowling a bit shit frens

Ever heard of uv ray's chap?

love how cummins bowls no balls literally every side angle replay

its working i guess

>i agree you poms are in all sorts of trouble

it's going to get worse when we lose old man anderson, we might get another few years out of broad but we need a whole new bowling attack within 5 years.

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Know this broad who wears sunscreen every day whatever the weather.

She's 40 odd but looks about 25

That's a given. Australian roads are shit for watching cricket. If only CA weren't a bunch of jews wanting a 5 day match and let the groundsmen leave something in the pitch.

I recall when the groundsman down in Tasmania left a bit of green on the pitch. Ended up with the batting teams both getting bowled out quite quickly and the match ending on the third (?) day. He coped a lot of shit for the pitch but it was the most entertaining match of the summer.

he showed his shit attitude in previous games too

people were defending him going for a slog at headingley even though he just needed to bat time

these guys come from australia before you reah the age of 14 you have your first skin cancer

I thought it was two shit batting line ups, with England maybe having the bowling edge thanks to Broad and Jimmy's experience.
Did anyone actually expect Smith to come back after a year out and be this good?

sunscreen shills are out in force i see

No and that's why it's so surprising that it's the case, I mean look at Warner, he literally could not be doing any worse.

i'm pretty sure i've never bowled a no ball in my life

Does she have rickets though?

they are too high maintenance, want all the glory when they do something good and when they dont get their way they have to do a sooky sook, NBA, NFL, AFL, premier league and cric they are all the same

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Rory Burns looks like a Hollywood villain

who /bowl spin and swing in the same over/ here

Same lad

To be fair I've never bowled at all, but I've never bowled a no ball either

Yeah that's exactly what I'm saying, nobody had faith in the batsmen but trusted the experience of England at home
And like I said, with Smith not looking that great in the world cup people weren't that sold on him
oddsportal.com/cricket/world/the-ashes/england-australia-MkBekngh/
Here are the odds for the first test, England were $1.7 and Australia $2
So yeah not a massive bias but definite favouritism towards England

Meant to add this to my post
>Tried changing a few things let me know if should just copy paste the original instead

Smith is becoming an Aus god now, warner, well karmas a bitch

My cricket career ended when I was 13 and I bowled 4 wides in an over

is ricky ponting playing

aye, keep the wicket keeper on his toes

kek what do you think she is doing right now

i think warner may be frazzled tbf, and he's never gone huge in england anyway.

Yeh hes done an atrocious job with our reviews though

youtube.com/watch?v=QZlARAWnNV4

He was looking done before the ban, I reckon without the ban he would have been dropped on form over the last twelve months

No-one expected Lasagneman to be world class either, amazing turn of events that when trying to kill Smith revealed the next great Aussie batsman.

pretty sure the last year fucked him, it fucked smith to but smith has a clear concious and took responisbility and hit the nets, where as warner was guilt ridden as he should have been, even though it was whatever, we DONT take that shit in Aus, you play hard but fair and you bend the rules but never break them

time for lunch lads

lunch? brie and cherry toms and cucumber in a baguette

don't forget your sunscreen, user

sausages for me lad, had some beer, after sausages then time for the bourbon, 9.30 pm here

WHAT the FUCK are you cunts having for LUNCH?

Toast with smoked salmon pate

WICKETS

>Having lunch at 1 o'clock on a Saturday
I only had brekkie 2 hours ago

For me its caterpillar cake

sounds scrummy

dairy milk ice cream

he did pretty well in the WC tho, always felt he would eventually get found out with the red ball so it might just be that

Tastey

had my brekkie at half 11 won't be having lunch til half 3 lad

[spoiler]Someone needs to photoshop her face into Tinderchad's screenshots.[/spoiler]

I think it's different circumstances between them as well, Warner is older and depends more on recent experience to inform his batting, whereas Smith relies on pure autism to keep him going. If anything I think taking a year out of the game has helped him refresh and enjoy the game more

Sausage sandwich and a cup of tea

I'll have some coffee, grab some food at tea. Was eating cold pizza at 3am, don't fancy anything right now thanks

Semen.

might do the washing up

amazon order arrived early

Truly incredible reply rate on this post, just perfect with the timing and really shows understanding of the audience. In awe

Yeah it's similar with Starc, both can play great bursts in a red ball match but often go long periods of mediocre form
He's way past his peak, should be demoted to a white ball specialist like Finch

What did you get lad?

draw looms

Yeah, you're right, i guess talking around everyone is sour on him now and we all loved him before, we didn't mind a biff with root at the pub and the banter but cheating just isnt where its at for us, it was like from the get go everyone knew smithy wasnt involved and it was warners idea and i assume they knewe we felt like that to, so two very different 12 months off

i fear that athers is going a bit souness on jof

Reminder that The Sauces are unstoppable this year

new case for my phone
feels a lot better than my old one

Had some dippy eggs and soldiers lad, with a nice cup of tea

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Patrician

Reminder that sebbo is based. The sebgang Is based and seething antipoodians should kys themselves for getting so irate at a may may on cric

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he was filthy at that jogged single

Assuming Aus bats next, how many runs should they aim for?

Let's be honest, about 20

quick 200-250 should do it

I know 100% the Irish flag is sebbo because he didn’t say anything cricket related during play and is now spouting sebbo bullshit just like him

Just want to die lads

i'd just bat it out if i were timmy
really mentally frazzle the poms ready for the oval test

A patient 400 all out.

Smith had to take the fall as Captain, it's right. With authority comes responsibility.
Personally I think they should've not picked the actual cheaters again, but they'd need some excuse to do it ostensibly.

>giving stokes something to chase after he feels he let the team down in the first innings
>trapcard.jpg

The more important question is when do we declare
Eventually we’ll reach a point where the lead will become completely impossible to chase down in a day and a bit, probably end up sending them in 40m before play ends

Set a target of 357 I reckon.

A little more sober now, but I don't regret this postfuck all the haters. Love the rest.
Ashes bring together the best nations on earth

A lead of 450 would appear insurmountable

Based

Congratulations to your sister mate :^)

personally i think australia should have never played test cricket again and the country of australia should have been divided up between the remaining test playing nations.

what's your opinion on the man that's deep-dicking your sister right now?

Holding is wearing a kino suit right now.

They should be careful and play for the draw

I came to cric becasue I've recently got into cricket. More so than before. Wanted to have a chat and shitpost during the games. I have a stupid sense of humor though and the sebbo thing kinda appealed to that. I didn't even realised I sounded like him (and still don't agree to that) also I was randomly accused of being sebbo so just going with it for the keks becasue you lot seem kinda agressive and angry all the time. You're obviously anti Irish too but I kinda don't mind that becasue you lot probably get alot of annoying Gap year faggots over there.

Anyway I don't actually think you guys think I'm sebbo. It's just a larp for you. Using a VPN gets you banned anyway

>Draw

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anime looms

yeah but warner has the potential he has hit massive runs when we needed them under presure i wont take that way from him but it feels like things have turned against him, like i said we dont care if you have fight in the pub or whatever but when you cheat like that its not how we play and also his wife is not the type of women that gets respect in the pub, the same thing happened to clarke with lara bingle, for whatever reason we like are cricketers hard but fair kind of like the family man that will still kick your ass if you do the wrong thing, and once the mood changes with the fans its hard to win them back

predicting enforcement of the follow on

>predicting enforcement of the follow on

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Surgeons are like dis, can confirm

Solid full day of batting desu

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loving this interview

*Based Broad blocks your follow on path*

mum pissed me off knowing I didn’t like something and now she’s acting like the victim lads
slap on the cards

fuckin oath mate, i try to explain to missus that ues we hate the poms but also no thats where we are from, in war we stick together but in cricket we want them to cry but at the end its all fun, glad im living in the timeline where the ashes is a thing

don't reply to him

>slap on the cards
you or her?

There's two Irish posters you anus

oh look, the Irish poster who is TOTALLY NOT SEBBO and just wants to talk about cricket brings up and praises sebbo for literally no reason and after literally nobody talks about sebbo for HOURS

what did the dumb bitch do?

I know a doctor chick who married a sparky and they have kids. They are actually a cute couple.
protip: she likes you.

Didn't suck me off like she normally does. Fuming.

based fucking ireland lads

her m8
sick of her “oh woe is me you’re the bad guy” bs that she pulls so may as well be the bad guy and shut her down

Just Ignore sebbo you dickhead it's not that difficult

Could be a worse guy. Not particularly bright but a good guy.

Never seen her so happy. And, I guess, the Irish are not too bad either.

Just a reminder: the ashes is the only real cricket.

umm please DON'T ignore based sebby

he's actually elite tbqh ngl bla x

another day, another thread ruined by sebcunt

>/cric/ ignores sebbo
>ireland: HEY GUYS SEBBO IS BASED LOL SEBGANG BTW I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT GRIG SO STOP TALKING ABOUT SEBBO

stop talking to yourself you dickhead

ummmmm...SEBBBYYYY!! x

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did somebody say /sebgang/?

If they're unironically anti-irish they can get fucked, you mean.
I've been making cricket related posts and am following today's play on tms and caught the end of the Sauces game last night, so I don't know really how this is going to play out but I don't care if any dumbcunt wants to believe that I'm actually in Arizona.
Also know for a fact there are citrus coloured sash wearing bonfire enthusiasts currently relocated in Australia marching up and down their hallways in season, not even bothered by that, better for them to be there enjoying the sunshine.

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holy mother of BASED

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Bit sick of all the sebbo talk desu.

wish every thread wasn't ruined by paddys and sebs 2bh lads

It's the blokes that you'd want as your teammates are the good guys you want as representatives of your country, totally agree.

>epic /cric/ thread
>absolutely no discussion of sebbo
>Ireland aka absolutely positively NOT sebbo screams “BASED SEBBO RENT FREE”
>sebbo starts praising himself
>thread ruined
every fucking time
step up and do the thing I can’t explicitly mention where you press a button and the mods see ireland’s OFF-TOPIC posts

Hookes I'd say.

this is so peng . number nine check shirts are so peng
might have to cop

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Must say, I'm beginning to regret encouraging him.

...

literally not cricket at this point lads

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Was looking forward to watching sky’s show on the beginnings of World Series cricket but the missus decided it was time to talk about her friends failed relationships. She’s about to have something in common with them soon if she keeps that up

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Yikes.
Seriously, went to the UK last year and nobody, I mean NOBODY, knows how to dress well casually.

I'm sensing a kino 4(125) from Broad here

That is disgusting.
penge means is money in Danish.

Someone, not me, posted based sebbo in the Ireland v Switzerland gamethread the other day, not a single reply to it and no further mention of it.
Best tactics.

ok pleb

exactly

cricketers gone wild lads

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that is nasty bruv

ABSOLUTE KINO

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now that sebby has called me out for lurking...
'chabin bla x
me?? a bit bummed about the chandrayaan 2 lander tbqh ngl bla x

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you do realize that they actually love based sebbo, right?
they'd not be giving him so much attention if not.

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ok deano

Kek that was me and I was at the game too

bit of /cric/kino for you lads

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sick of talking about this shit but if this was true why wouldn't you just presume everyone means the other Ireland poster is sebbo on a proxy? Why does every Irish poster mysteriously think everyone is talking about them specifically and you're all collectively defending sebbo?
How would you even know that the other isn't sebbo on a proxy, you've got no right to know with certainty, oh wait that's because you are sebbo and falseflagging

my vape works well during the week but at the weekend i like to feel my lungs on fire a bit idk. vape is not an instant cure merely a helping hand

based fucking sebbo

the "big strong americans pls watch our sport" memes started this crap

I know it was you. Just don't be annoying now.

i'm just wondering lads
if i were VPNning... why would I use an irish VPN?
why the fuck wouldn't I just use a UK, Aus, NZ, or India VPN to make filtering me impossible?
checkmate sports fans

if i was PM i would imprison johnny bowledstow for his appalling technique

*loses fifth commons vote*

Lyon being exposed t bh

b'd and r'd

Stuart Fraud half century incoming

Digits confirm

>Kallu: "Did Australia bowl only 24 overs in 2 hours in the first session? I don't think we will even see 90 overs in 7 hours. Forget 98 overs." Yes, and probably yes
Australia getting expoosed as well

Just done some maths.
There is a relationship between amount of rain fall in a country and the quality of that countries doom/gothic metal. Of all the shit I put on England, they have great doom/gothic metal.

not sure broad's got the gumption to bat for a prolonged period desu

play resuming, gentlemen of /cric/, Boycott and Jim on. Beautiful.

Irish goth/doom metal?

I LOVE SMITHY

Tbh they should stop whinging about slow over rates and just extend the standard playing time.

For me it's the based Arizona indie music scene. Best there is.

for me, its indie rock such as pavement and tool

Too easy. It's embarrassing how easy it is tbqh

footpath
utensil

Don't respond to him.

Ireland has more Celtic metal

For me its pantera reinventing the steel

Jos Battler

you can't just extend playing time brainlet, there's the issue of light and workloads

When did desu get unfiltered?

very good very good

Switch to an equally-worn pink ball when the light goes bad and turn on the floodlights.
Make them keep playing.
Also give the batting side the option of declining tea or drinks to force the bowling side to bowl more.

capital mate

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Tbh, I have no idea what you're talking about.

$mh 2bh f@m

Because they don't like cricket really and Wana shit post about cric personalities. Irish flags make it easier to do that I suppose, less of us.

How did Lyon do so well in the first test then go to shit so fast

AWWW YEAH GAZ LICK MY NUTS CHAMP

>Light
Start earlier in the day

>Workload
Actually it's less exhausting to bowl 90 overs in say 7 hours than to bowl them in 6 hours, which is what the people complaining about over rates want.

Also it's not even extending playing time because we currently use the 'extra half hour' as a given to get through more overs. Having a longer standard day would make more sense than having these monster evening sessions. 26 overs then a 40-minute lunch break, another 26 then a 20-minute tea break, then 38 overs in the last session? Makes no sense.

youtube.com/watch?v=4vWT5ThmQyM

Has anyone ever got a double century in both innings before?

Who is the most handsome England player?

is google broken?

Burns

Should start starting at 10am desu, bankers do it

going to start french lessons in brighton next week

Craig Overton

Craig Overton

although my mum has always had a crush on Alastair Cook

broad is a bit of a dreamboat

nice /brit/ meme

nah

The disgraced former England captain Joe Root

In September we should be starting early anyway, like they do in the CC.

What a bowl.

it's missing something

Dumb broad

based warnie

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Why even bowl Starc until they are 6 down?

>Broad
The mop of Australia strikes again

>In any form of the game, that is gone.
Fuck, thanks Hussain

COWARDLY joe root

Cheeky 1(156) incoming

>le can only clean up tail enders

Starc is based

>bread

*wipes glasses*

leach 1

>
Not so fast

Kek, was thinking that. As if any form of dismissal changes across formats.

Can someone give four eyes some contacts? I mean seriously.

You wouldnt bowl a bouncer at someone in glasses surely

Starc has the best smile in Aus cricket

Lmao who's that in the commentary box laughing at the Leach fanboys

He has an astigmatism

Told you Starc would clean up today.

>STARC IS SUCH A GOOD BOWLER, HE DOES MASSIVE DAMAGE TO THE SHITTY TAIL ENDERS
I wish the Starc meme will die

sup guys
How's the Ashes?

who's the better baldy

Contacts can correct for that as well.

wew watch the bails fly out of that broad delivery
he says they mess up his sight under the helmet or something, he wears contacts when bowling/ in the field

Love Starc desu

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not sure

Bowl line bowl length hit the stumps, it's simple.

- Geoffrey Boycott

*wipes ass*

grim

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Your ejaculate looks a bit thin mate. What's your sperm count like?

FOUR

>being this new
fuck cazzies desu

>bowl out leach
>follow-on
>have a day and a bit to bowl england to shreds
simple as lads

Getting a bit dark out there.

you say this but aus lost the last test because of it

HOLD ON LEACH EY

Australia set to have a lash today and send England back in for some late long shadows this evening.

>deliberately posting that so you can btfo cazzies
grim

WAIT ON

>letting leach get a fucking four
absolutely grim
don't deserve the follow on lads

The tail actually went fast, it was Leach that held out

waeeeey

Did it on purpose ya mong so leach has to face starc a few more balls.

Why is Leach batting below Archer and Broad? He looks a lot better.

lads
LADS

hahahahahaha

7 TO GO LADS

Leach that hung on

Starc didn't play, so it is impossible to determine, definitely, if it did cost Australia the game, especially if you would consider the small amount of balls that leach faced in that much.

HahAHAhaahHAAHAHAha

England needs 7 runs to win.

Big brain Paine and his quality reviews strikes again. That was plumb

>another fucking plumb LBW cucked out by NOREVIEWSLOL
fucking FUCK OFF PAINE

HAHAHAHAHA

That was plumb
>No reviews
OH NO NO NO NO

fuck me that looked close
umpires call at worse, should have a review ffs

The fuck was Erasmus thinking

RIGGED

Impeach Leach

that looked plumb what the fuck

no reviews left

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Lyon looking good for another century here

decent drama from the umpire

For me, its replacing umpires with DRS

>Yeah we'll have a review mate

New thread

>Umpires DESPERATE to keep this series alive

WARNE SEETHING