/cric/

Root heroically captaining England to a draw

Aus 369 - 5
Eng yet to bat

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twitter.com/donjoyride/status/1032824270928269313?s=20
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twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

anime

GONE FUCK OFF
AHAHAHAA
AUSTRALIA SO SHIT

Wanker

What proof do we have that Smith has autism?

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first aussie to post in this thread is me

oh no, our tail is in :^)

autistic shuffles and twitches before every delivery he faces
collection of gloves he changes every few overs

That's like saying the series would already be over if you didn't have Stokes. Might as well say you wouldn't be doing so bad if we didn't fuckin show up

pavement

1996 India vs Sri Lanka

A miserable day for poos worldwide. Never forget.

What happened to Paine? Was just off dropping an England during the break and now he's gone.

>focuses narrowly on objects and activities
literally all he wants to do is bat
>is very interested in unusual objects or activities
cricket gloves, meme leaves
>interacts with toys and objects in one particular way
shuffles and flicks the ball to the leg side EVERY SINGLE BALL
>has an intense interest in certain objects and becomes 'stuck' on particular toys or objects
every leg side fielder

Fucking hate hearing whoever is saying Leachles

caught behind off a 74mph dobber that seamed a bit, overton celebrated by jogging off holding his lower back

Batter down the other end needs to stand out of the way like he was a runner for an injured batsman.
He sticky tapes his shoe laces to his legs so doesn't see them when he looks down at the crease.
His name is Steve.

cricket is not a sport

gone first ball, nicked it to bairstow

Yeah the fuck is this for real

t. gets HurriCANED

>a sri lankan cricket watching gf? Well yeah why not?

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NICE LEACHLES

7 and 8 boys 7 and 8

I dont live on grand bahama or abaco, what happens there is none of my business
cricket isnt a sport

Did all the aussies go to bed with the paine wicket?

More like 7 and 8 Leachles, 7 and 8

For me, it's naturally Isa Guha

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HE DON'T LIKE CRICKET

I'm heading off now, lookin forward to seeing the score in the morning

harsh to call wides to steve smith, considering his off stump is somewhere around 1st slip

OH NO

*waves at you*
oh no!

she looks like she only dates white guys

>Smith standing a foot outside off stump
Yorker at leg stump please. This is like watching the Australian bowlers last test trying to bounce the number 11 in the one ball they got at him per over last test.

neither does the rest of the civilized world
fuming

Overton looks like the quintessential brit.

>Yeah I watch cricket
>*Comes over*
>I meant women's cricket user what the fuck

I would love to see the spastic Steve Smith wield a lightsaber.

>One spell of 76mph bowling at 8th stump that Smith has no intention of playing, please

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>joe root serves steve smith another hundred.jpg

>McSpaghetti

grim, i'm assuming

>I think its just fine
Ricky you sly dog

>that flag
>civilized

jesus
dude's phone is bigger than her head

Pat Cummins and goings

Think England might have some kind of voodoo video replay system.

YES LEACHLES INTO THE TAIL NOW

mean spirited banter

>369
Is this a lot? I don't get this weird version of baseball...

Pat cumbrain

How do you not end up with messed up elbow tendons fast bowling for decades?

ǝʇɐɯ ʇooɥs ƃuiɥʇǝǝs ɐ oʇui ɟlǝsɹnoʎ ʞɹoʍ ʇuop
I translated it to australian for you :)

So fucking retarded. Need 450+, urgh.

baseball is the weird version of cricket

you mean back/knees/ankles? watch a former fast bowler get in and out of a car, they move in installments when they get into their 50s

Looks like Root listened to my plan of ignoring Smith and just getting five wickets.

just waiting for smudge to get 200

You dont bowl with your elbows..

If the series is a draw then they should do a super over test style

The elbow doesn't take any strain when bowling. Can bowl with your arm in a metal brace.

How would that work

what about shoulder?

Each team has one day to bat.

The win should be awarded to the team of the player with the highest individual score in an innings.

depends on the bowler, some are fine with their shoulders some aren't. apparently anderson's knees/back/ankles are fine but his shoulder is completely fucked, he can't shave properly as he can't move his arm past a certain height

like bumrahpe does

They should let denly bowl again, get Smith out

Glad Paine got out, didn't want someone like that beating Labuschagne's score

Why hasn't Root declared? 387 is way too high to chase.

I thought Archer was finna get him out.

Nah denners

really wouldn't mind dropping roy, and I mean on his thick head the dumb cunt

Bit harsh

rumours swirling around that paine promised to buy smith a new lego set if he scored a double ton

Ed "Brainlet" Smith's absolutely cerebral selection of a new bowler with no changing of the batting lineup is paying dividends, I see

could backfire, he may be too distracted by it to play in the 5th test

how full is full

>Smith in the nervous 90's again
Get that 200 lad

Has Smith just invented the pull shot leave

>tfw 24 and still dream of breaking the record for a score on a test debut on my ashes debut

have to applaud Root's commitment to making Lancastrians miserable

>smith now mimicking the shot he would play if he didn't leave before the ball even passes by him
he truly is playing an entirely different game

HE OVERSTEPPED ON FUCKING 100 AND NOW SMITH'S AT 200

that feel when secretly like england being shit because then i can daydream being the all-rounder who saves them from moments of deep despair

>all-rounder
yeah great another one dream yourself as a top order batsman that averages more than 40 you spineless coward

>They'll want to wrap this up as quickly as possible
Isa taking commentary notes from Yea Forums shitposts

I fantasise about getting dropped from the Australian team for bad behaviour but the Indian team picks me up and I'm really good and everyone hates me and calls me a traitor and I'm slightly more handsome than I am now.

Still got time mate

no need when i bat average 65 and bowl average 15

>"he's bowled a blinder"

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What is Smith's highest ever score?

>only barely beat Smith in your wildest fantasy

239

cheers my fellow cunt

239

Who is going to bring up the ton first?
Broad, Archer, Overton and Leach are all in the nervous seventies.

742

need a pinch of realism in your fantasies made or is just inplausible

XD

qantas is run by a gay man

Is Isa here? Hi Isa!

Activate the power play desu.

>tfw want to bring up the century 0 (100) and raise the bat to the bronx cheers of the crowd

>tfw want to be booed by the Aussies at the MCG after refusing to walk in the previous test, then make 250 in a losing cause.

my dreams feature finding smith playing with a toy train and smashing said train, mentally disintegrating him and ruining his batting form

Really, really mean but I understand.

I'm so sick of this autist on my screen. His obscenely ugly technique hurts my eyes. Can they just fucking get him out already.

Will Paine - the ultimate shitposter - declare when smith gets to 199?

Do that and he will just go to the nets and practice batting.

If anything you want to give him more trains.

what if someone was going to bowl and the umpire farted lol

>ywn KO a Lord's pensioner with a 6 to complete your century

outswinging yorker at leg stump!

That would make me cry. I like trains.

>his triggers the final phase of his autism and he retires with a test match batting average of 84

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fuck this test shit whens the big bash

>ywn absolutely annihilate some third world test team and score 600 runs yourself in one day

HE'S DROPPED THE WORLD CUP

They need to outlaw walking across your stumps.
I was always under the impression that you couldn't stand completely in front of them - it seems like cheating really.

>English fielding

Did Overton get a hand on that? Almost run out Smith.

no and no

Name a greater sporting team.
I'll wait.

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FOUR STARC

Has a batsmen ever run out his own teammate by hitting the wickets like that?

Yes, plenty of times. But the bowler needs to get a finger on it.

chicken bun chicken and bun chicken bun chicken and bun

Countless times

Off a deflection from the bowler sure
I don't think you can be run out if the opposition team doesnt get a touch on it.

VVALLOP

>ywn be a freak bowler that gets six out every over
>ywn bowl so hard and fast the wickets go fucking flying

DLF MAXIMUM

>>Yea Forums120555555

ive seen that happen several times in tests

198 - so just four more overs for the 200...

Oops

>ywn bowl so hard and fast the wickets go fucking flying
Kinda boring desu.
>Be a spin bowler who puts so much spin on the ball it's like a Rasengan
>Stumps explode if the ball ever hits them on the full

...

i just want it before 3am because I'm tired

noice gary

>so powerful he gets hexs outside Yea Forums

kinda buzzing here. Anyone else sperg out watching the ashes wearing your gloves swinging the bat?

>Labuschagne didn't even score 1/3 as much as Smith
Feeling a bit let down by the hype about him being a mini Smith

to be fair Overton's delivery was freakish

Think Monty shoukd be new englel head coach

My bats in the shed along with my hopes and dreams.

Also smith actually got out

199 199 199 199 199 199 199

When? How? Did England miss a DRS review timer?

Smith caught at slip on 108 but it was a no ball

GOAT GOAT GOAT GOAT

Holy fucking based

201

Go join a local park comp and belt a pie chucker to ease the pain

REMINDER LEACH BOWLED A NO-BALL REMINDER LEACH BOWLED A NO-BALL REMINDER LEACH BOWLED A NO-BALL REMINDER LEACH BOWLED A NO-BALL REMINDER LEACH BOWLED A NO-BALL

Follow-on by tomorrow evening.

THERE IT IS LADS
sleep tight boys

Based Stove.

>Smith has got more centuries this innings than the rest of the Australian team in the entire series combined

Unbelievable based autist

200 200 200 200 200 200 200

Based Retard

imagine how fucked we are when he retires

based day for autistic people everywhere

why can't our batsmen do that

>rambo last blood
the fuck m8s

Anyone else get yelled at by their U/11 coach for playing every shot on the leg side?
We could've had a whole team full of Smiths.

>8/122

Did anyone hear any booing? I didnt hear any

Well stokes did it with bells on.

The Coward Joseph Root giving starc a nice head start

kinda low groan behind the applause - they've lost the stomach for it

Joe Root the Coward

Theres not a lot of broad appeal to a Broad appeal

that was glorious

missed starc's batting desu

The poms are too demoralized.

SHOT STARCY

Starc 100(63) looms

I don't get how it happens - edit - jesus starc 3 boundaries

England will never win

I want whatever starc had for tea desu

based starc

And just like that, all the Engposters have dissappeared.

Absolutely
p
o
o
t
e
d o n e

17 off that over
Broad is cooked

The assasination of English cricket by the coward Joe Root

utterly cooked

There was too much whinging over it from the Aussies. As it did seem to upset them, in the spirit of fair play it was dropped.

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>four consecutive fours

It's coming home leachles

Don't get it - why didnt the stokes triumph inspire them to greater efforts?

Fuck the ashes give me Smith 300 amd Starc 100

Get fucked that faggot doesn't represent me

loooooooooool

English: English: English: English: English: Based Aussies dominating on the boards even harder than they are on the field.
42 posts to only 5 English.

Christ that's grim. Fairfax is such a useless rag.

the nervous 210s strike again

smith's autism overpowered us

Why didn't root just get smith out earlier?

lmaoooooo

Why don't they just catch the ball the ball when smith hits it instead of his partner ???

GOT HIM GO ON FUCK OFF ON YOUR BIKE MATE

Tell me about the bunyip lads, is it real?

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>letting the meme bowler get you out so the main bowlers dont get any confidence

big brain plays

Just pathetic at this point mate

He'll never be world class if he doesn't start converting these 200s to 300s

Australia collapse incoming. Screen cap this.

Powerful statement of INTENT from Root. He's telling Smith 'I can get you out anytime I want'

Why didn't they get Smith to play left-handed earlier? Pretty simple desu

Lyon getting the fastest test ton lads?

Archer still yet to get Smith out

>POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE
POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE
>POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE
POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE
>POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE
POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE
>POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE
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>POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE
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>POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE
POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE
>POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE
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>POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE
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>POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE
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>POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE
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>POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE
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POZZTRALIA POOLAPSE

Is Smith Roots bunny?

>getting out to poot
OHNONONONONONONONONO STEVE SMITH IS SO SHIT

>Bats left handed
>Gets out immediately
Perhaps Warner should try batting right handed.

what a chad he is

Warner must be seething at this smith malarkey

>only 211
yikes, englel might have this

mfw breaks starc and hazlewood's arms and Cummins is the onyl fast bowler
mfw England still all out for 120

Why is he so cringe lads?

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I get the emotion but right now all I feel is pity for you

honestly the whole bbc feed is cringe. the football ones are even worse

>everyone else getting a 7 month head start on smith
>btfos them all, top run scores for the year in only 4 innings
based autism

If labuschange takes 9- 23 next innings who gets man of the match?

that blow definitely activated some previously unlocked part of his brain

don't get ahead of yourself. Lyon about to put on a quick 1500 before stumps

He deliberately got himself out.
It's no coincidence that he got out for 211 when England got him 'out' on a no ball for 112. That's autism at work.

>If Archer goes for 0/100 then he won't like that
Truly world class commentary Warnie

>Smith gets out
>Archer starts bowling
Hmmm

Is it me or jofra archer been bowlong slow this whole game?

Stokes for a match winning quintuple-century

Love our tailenders. No other nation consistently produces world class bowlers that can bat.

Based Gazza

It's not great by any stretch but this cunt is the worst by far.

“Its a slow pitch” sky commentators

No shit mate

Basedthan Lyon

Oh shit

Who is the most cashed-up bogan cringe commentator? Warnie has to be the front-runner

Then maybe he should pitch it up so the pitch doesn't matter, rather than banging it in halfway down.

Gillespie double century

You are pottering around your local garden centre when you see pic related. Broad tells you gardening is for poofs and you should try getting a girlfriend. How do you respond?

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Honestly reckon Michael Clarke is worse

>Warnie commentating
>Bowlers slogging England
>450+ up
Yeah lads this is the best.

Aussie-tier review

The coward joe root overused him last test and now he is finished

but why

Shit, that was a lucky glove. Looked plumb on the first replay.

Desperate pooview

The cowardly slavedriver Root has ruined the poor lad

>giving starc confidence

oh nononononono

Quick century for Starcy coming up here

easy as fuck, why don't all our batters just do what Starc's doing

cooked
boiled
poached
fried
steamed
flambéd

>last 10 overs
>1/69

this is pathetic from england
if starc can get 50 they're gonna lose this match and the ashes

>batter's
Cringe

IMAGINE BEING AN ENGLAND SUPPORTER

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At what point did England lose the ashes?

Starc compensating for all the runs he’ll give away.

Big fan of Marais Erasmus. Spot on umpire

...in sundries

tell stokes and root that broad made a homophobic remark. root tells broad that there's nothing wrong with being gay. stokes then knocks him out with one punch.

Starc started out being on something like 4 (29). It's the surviving the first 30 balls where they all fail.

holy shit starc can hit em.

>Last 10 overs 69 runs.

Ohnononononono

Are you retarded?

he's right

no, are you

Based dyslexiaposter

>Mighty mighty England chant

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its batsmen not batters. what is this baseball?

So when are England gonna suddenly start using that momentum they got from the Stokes innings to suddenly be better bowlers like everyone was saying?

It doesnt say batter’s

I find the word batsman to be non-inclusive

In their next t20 vs Bangladesh m8

I didn't mean to hyphenate it. The point is batsmen vs batters

Actual retard, it's batsmen

That isnt a hyphen but fair dinkums

>smol brain posts
The whole point is to get the match into an impossible situation, thereby unlocking Stokes's beast mode limit break

Non-inclusive of whom? Everyone in the Australia team is male.

Acceptable:
Batsmen
Batswomen
Bats

Unacceptable:
Batters
Hitters

Apostrophe. Abbreviate. It's 3am cut me some slack please

Hope englands batters batter you tbf

>hyphenate
I'm on your side but...

Need some clarity on batsperson.

what hyphen are you talking about. God your knowledge and use of english punctuation is a shitshow

add player of the match to unacceptable

No declaration - lets go for 600

How bout those guys with the big sticks

>Hitters
That belongs in the shadow realm section

Let him off its nearly breakfast time there m8

quiet bat people

Englishmen are batty boys

Favourite barmy army chants lads?
For me its dont make me go home or whatever its called

never heard batswoman before. sounds wrong.

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When will the barmy army start singing the mitchell johnson song to jofra?

for me it's person of bat

Pooson of bat

Yikes

Will Lyon

Don't really like cricket desu

today has killed my love of cricket

>Starc already 49
Damn, that was fast. Take note, Paine.

What about batman?

So is Archer a one-test wonder?

How has the day been in UK politics? Any new major shitstorms?

>brits actually believed archer was the savour of english cricket because he bowled a few 90+mph deliveries
laughing

Im not liking that people made fun of my knowledge of the english language. I made a mistake ok it happens

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Starc not happy scoring 50 against this pathetic english side

Yep, Boris Johnsons brother quit as an MP

The PM's brother resigned as MP (also universities minister) citing Brexit and family tensions.

The absolute state of the aussie neets still up on a friday morning at 3am

Boris Johnson's brother resigned from the party

Boris Johnson's brother Jo, who was a cabinet minister and a tory mp, has resigned.

Slower version of Brett Lee and Shaun Tait.
Meme pace that the media salivate over, only our bats were shit enough to get out to him.

love how seething the aussies are about archer, so much vitriol

you just KNOW he got to them, such a bunch of softcocks these days

DECLARE PAINE RIGHT FUCKING NOW

Jesus wept I supported brexit at the time but it seems to have done more harm than good.

It's their innate racist at work. Note that Khawaja got dropped for this test too.

NO DECLARATION STARC TO BAT OUT TOMMOROW FOR THE BIG 700

reckon there isn't enough light to extend stumps

Paine's delay will lead to a draw, mark my words

>stokes fuming after smoths autism all series
>goes to look at the pet section of the garden centre to soothe himself
>notices a fish eat another one
>beats the shit out of every member of staff in the vicinity, swat team called

Their dedication is admirable

You start chugging onions milk lately

Why would you think that

Worse than Lyon at run outs.

:^)

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I find it immensely entertaining

reckon a declaration and send them in for a few quick overs in the long shadows

england need to get jofra archer to bowl fast again and rely more on their 4th pace bowler to for overs ticking over

DECLARE NOW

>2 matches

Reckon Australia could do with a wicket here.

Stop stop he's already dead

Reckon aussies want to get Archer 0/100 before declaring. Simply for bants

Brexit hasn't done nothing yet

this is spot on

Swap Archer for Philander

Market volatility, decrease in the value of the pound etc

Please just declare before Archer gets a wicket lol

Declare tim ffs

Paine showing real captaincy skill by not declaring.

Australia will be looking to have a good nights sleep tonight.

literally all England have to do is avoid the follow on and this is as good as a draw

but Brexit hasn't happened yet. All that stuff is just the build up

Paine wants the Joffra century to deep stir-fry his confidence

Top keks at that dive (Broad?). Brilliant.

Paines waiting for archer to get his century

>they fell for the Archer meme

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Scenes if one of these 2 intentionally run themselves out to force the declaration

not allowed a hard border in Ireland unless they're literally willing to break the treaty, that's the best one and the leavers didn't address it before the vote. Farage's solution was for Ireland to leave as well.

australia let us win PLEASE

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Lyon's not much good at run outs though

ALL THOSE CHEATING ENGLISHMEN THROWING RUBBISH ON THE GROUND TO STALL FOR TIME.

brexiters LITERALLY don't live on planet earth

>Britain might feel it isn't possible to be more embarrassed by a Prime Minister than it currently is, but Australia might not agree.
>In the southern suburbs of Sydney there's a McDonald's with a piece of street art depicting current PM Scott Morrison and the number "1997".
>What's it there to commemorate? The story goes that, back in 1997, while Morrison was out commiserating his team's loss in the rugby league cup final (the Cronulla Sharks) he stopped off at the Macca's in Engadine – and suddenly had to make a rather urgent trip to the toilet.
>Sadly, he didn't quite make it in time. And ended up defecating in his pants.

Need an Aussie to tell me if this story is true

>497
beta declaration

We were 20/2 xD

Its mental warfare

That's about 300ish? Pretty tough ask given the way both teams have batted this series.
Might need to hope for some rain.

Is this your brain on Yorkshire?

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First English post to ever make me laugh

Looks to be

Attached: plaque.jpg (600x338, 108K)

He wasn't Prime Minister back then and most people have shat themselves at least once before.

The match saving Joe Root

Reckon Englel should bring on Leach as an opener

...

I reckon England have real chance

piss off scott

All of Boris' embarrassing stories are related to shagging, at least.

>shat myself
I did, twice or maybe three times, I was 5 though.

I liked the one where he paid a woman to have an abortion

too many UK flags

when it was flipped the aussie flags evacuated last game, how come that was the case?

Botham liked to get Boycott out as well - via running, on purpose, because Boycott is a knob

The whole story is based off a tweet made by a DJ after scomo won the election which simply said "scott morrison shat his pants at engadine maccas in 1997". That is it. There is absolutely no more proof. So it probably happened.

Should be that way you retard do you know how timezones work? Makes it even worse its only aussies posting tonight

Alright, old Geoffrey is making some sense now. England cannot win this test, he says.
I do genuinely like him.

An Irish gay man.

So will England just be playing for the draw and hope they don’t fuck up again in match 5? I’m new to cricket.

Shh its hunting time

Aussies abandoned the thread for days afterwards

sad!

I see the BBC's Jofra Archer wankfest has finally come to an end.

How can anyone not like based boycott, nothing more kino then him talking about how much better he wouldve played than England's garbage batsmen

Paine could have declared right after starc got his 50, he didn't need to drag it out so long and we could have had a bit longer to get some wickets

Aggers is being very careful to mention any ethnic whatsoever this past week.............

Ahh okay, it did seem odd because why would Morrison (the only one who could REALLY confirm it) tell people

Aye, he starts every other sentence with: When I was captain.

>after scomo won the election
It's been around a lot longer than that. Some parliamentary hopefuls even included it in their campaign materials - A green representative had a series of policy tweets which spelt out Engadine Maccas with the first letter of each tweet.

Pretty much

Need to force England to follow on, so those extra runs help.

I wouldn't be going around confirming whether or not I shat pooed my pants when I was 5 either desu.
It's a source of personal embarrassment, wasn't my fault either.

Now this is real mans pace bowling

>Starc bowling pies
Fuck off

If you can find any evidence of this being a story before this tweet:

twitter.com/donjoyride/status/1032824270928269313?s=20

Then I'll consider it

From my ignorant American perspective I would think that England needs to score 498 to win, or 497 to tie, otherwise they lose. The Guardian's site is going on about draws and follow-ons. What am I missing?

Next time I'm in Sydney I'd like to go to Engadine maccas and get my photo with that plaque.

>1st slip having to duck

LMAO absolute state

Wouldnt call em pies but he needs to make him play

Yeah sort of thing you'd keep to yourself, forever

theres 2 innings mate

This is only the first innings, so England still get to bat twice.

2 innings, need to take all 20 wickets to win even if you have more runs

In a test match each team plays two innings batting even if england make 497, we still have another innings to bat. A follow on is when the team batting in the second innings is bowled out for well under what the first team made so they go on to bat again in the third innings instead

England could do with 500 runs here.
Australia meanwhile could do with 10 wickets here.

Langer. Justin Langer. He's the greatest coach in history.

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had a pretty bad record until he was forced to bring sandpaper cheats back

THE COMEBACK STARTS NOW

glad there is a table for this complex situation

Thanks

Love watching Denly play, can enjoy his pleasant looking shots with the knowledge that he will soon be out for very little

denly trying his best to nick one

In the actual laws of the game

1980: In the new laws, optional after a deficit of 200 runs in a 5-day match, 150 runs in a 3- or 4-day match, 100 runs in a 2-day match and 75 runs in a 1-day match.

>he says after denly stuck around for over 150 balls his last innings

>1-day match.
im surprised a result other than a draw can be achieved in one day

australia are finished

Reckon Poot should declare.

looks a bit dark out there, time to go off before someone gets killed

You'll confuse him, I'm a little bit confused myself. Is this with reference to a follow on?

Another handy thing for beginners

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no one has ever died in a match of cricket mate

How bout every other innings mate?

They will hits these lemons

only 496 more runs to go

yeah, when a follow on can actually occur

Kinhell state of starc

Love that they took the time to add some trees

why didn't starc check if he was okay?

I'm appalled

I reckon its because bl*ck people don't understand the gsme and the racist wh*tes just dont have enough tolerance after alcohol sets in on the 10th hour

Denly to get 240*

he didnt hit the deck

Better get the concussion sub warmed up

Pathetic

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starc isn't very good without the sandpaper is he

denly seems comfortable getting bad onto ball

Chad bogan aesthetic

God I miss Johnson

every ball worn down brings it closer to a Roy 200 ball double century

GOOKED AND POOTED

>Chad bogan
thats an oxymoron mate

steve smith looks stupid

was delighted for him being given an MCC membership, he's one of the good guys

Hate watching England open a innings
They do anything but inspire confidence in me

I'm supremely confident in an English victory here lads, just as confident as I am in Boris Johnson winning a vote in the Commons, coming back from Brussels with a new deal, and replacing the backstop.

going to start calling batsmen, daywatchmen

Based typo

Good times

i'm no expert but i think dangling the bat outside off stump significantly increases the chance of an edge going to the keeper or slips, and should be avoided

For you.

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What a fucking potato this cunt is.

how about you suck my dick

Whom do you refer to

Bit harsh on the irish.

denly doing his level best to get out today

The clown intent on giving his wicket away

Ah yes
Yeah he’s a right mentalist

LEAD by 495??????

Watching Denly bat makes me suspicious of spot-fixing

kek based paine destroying starc's confidence by pulling him out of the attack after only 2 overs

in desperate need of a blowie right now

god who else thinks pat cummins really good looking

The coward Jason Roy forcing other people to face the new ball for him so he can try and rescue his dying test career

HE'S GONE FUCK OFF DENLY

mind yourself there friend, we wouldn't want any misunderstanding between us, would we now

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Is this Englands highest opening partnership?

this partnership is basically like a century by english opener standards

Reckon Boris Johnson should focus on more important things like bringing back a white picket fence around the field instead of advertising boards

pretty blackpilled about the cricket and brexit brehs

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what is happening with brexit? I havent follow politics since 2016

Bit of a waste of a referendum that

Business idea:
Take the lottery funding from irrelevant sports and give it all to cricket

We voted leave

Only you mate everyonr knows hes a massive uggo

All female sports not played in tights or bloomers first.

*uses all the money for the hundred*
nothin personell kid

have you left?

more women should wear bloomers desu, they're lovely

>Declaring to stop your bowlers outscoring England's entire team

Paine has far too much sportsmanship to be an Ashes captain desu

Aren't they just?

They are indeed.

>no wickets with the new ball

australia are cooked here

We are still deciding how to 'leave' but its proving an eternal defeat mechanism for governments, now on our third PM since the referendum.

Whats a bloomer?

grim. Whats the best case scenario?

You have to think Australia will be playing for the draw now after such a disastrous start

tbf the first of those three left because of the referendum, but yes you're right

a type of bread

and so it begins

MATTHEW 'BANCROFT' WADE

grim

WADE TAKES A BLINDER

Why are the opening batsmen so uniformly shite this series?

Didn't see this coming tbqh

Grim

based wade

GONE FUCK OFF ONYA BIKE DENLY

too soon

Why are we still playing cricket at 7 bloody pm lads? Should have gone in at 5, it's an absolute disgrace

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Elegant

The serial cheats Australia taking a wicket in horrendous light conditions

never looked comfortable, was only a matter of time

>GET A BROWN DOG UP YA
>GET A BROWN DOG UP YA
>GET A BROWN DOG UP YA
>GET A BROWN DOG UP YA

BOWLING GAZZAAA 4 AND 5, 4 AND 5

Joe Root was legislated by the squad to ask the Umpire for an extension.

Overton averages 25? Honestly should be England's number 3...

Tipping a match winning quadruple century from Overton

The Coward Joe Root scared of facing a ball today

The coward Joe Poot too scared to come out lads

Overton needs to calm down his t20esque strike rate
Suicidal stuff

TCJR-mind

NIGHTWATCHMAN

Joe Root seen in foetal position following Denly's wicket. Not sure what to make of it.

>australians think 16C is chilly

fucking yikes that's average summer temps

Good that denlys out
Amateur player, genuinely painful to watch

Overton looks like the giant on game of thrones

actually quite a graceful player to watch, attractive shots

just doesn't score many runs

What're your winters like? Here in Sydney 16 - 22 is your typical late winter's day.

Shorts and vest weather

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if smoth is so good why does he only have one half century so far

like 10C less than that, english climate is mild both ways

temps between 5 and 10 degrees, very windy as well
can get a week or so of minus temps with frost and some snow too

Bloody typical of this cuckolded nation of ours

new thread looms

Overton leaves better than Denly

Sounds a bit miserable - but not crisp enough to really get comfy. We had like 2 days of rain here over the last 2 months - could legit play winter circket.

only for a short time though, it's usually just above freezing until about 10 am and then it's night time again by 4.30 pm

Business idea:
Open with the tail enders instead

We've had some harsh winters in the last couple of years, we had that beast from east and it was like -12 c at night time, didn't get above freezing during the days. It all depends if we get the warm gulf stream air or cold arctic air.

thesun.co.uk/sport/cricket/9869792/ashes-leach-smith-caught-out-no-ball/

this kinda cooked media coverage needs to stop - nasty backstabbers.