Football commentator

>Mad about a fucking light.
Mutts really like to dwell in the dark, don't they?

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Tulip bulbs lmao.

I don't think I've ever seen >ding, ding, ding!

I don't get it. Those are just common rhetorical devices?
This is like the tendies meme. Everyone likes fried chicken, you're just ascribing something popular to childish hipsters as if they invented it.

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