The Assassination of English Cricket by the Coward Joe Root

LISTEN TO THE MUSIC

based brainlet post

Why are women such whores?

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back home to reddit hopefully

Grim times ahead

just fuck this girl already Ivan

How about we start again and make a thread which actually has /cric/ in the title?

kek imagine having this much pressure on you to perform. kek enjoy that erectile dysfunction, lad.

hmm

IT'S LITERALLY NOT IVAN. FUCK.

such a pity as she has a lovely smile

Cringe tryhard

Is this bait?

based social club faggot

Explain.

lmao she went 30 to 100

This and I'm only after noticing once you mentioned it.

OP you're a dumbarse.

Do what Smith would do, have a tweak of your balls, smash her through the covers.

no need to be so cruel

You don't need to respond to Irish flags just fyi no one reads what they say

sorry bud, I know you at least tried and it is quite late down there by now :^)

>10.45 is late
Based granddad

I mean, its via a hookup app, what are you expecting to find?

Perfect time for a walk though

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>Angel

A wife.

found a new skate spot

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lmao

Based nightwalker. You ever trespass? I snuck into some business function the other week.

where are you off to ivan

don't get mugged lad

sebbo doesn’t have any school photos lads
the school couldn’t afford to pay nasa for the satellite imaging

Based Gold Coast degenerates.

Yeah just over to Bonnie's place mate

It's australia not india you can walk at night without being sold into human trafficking.

>Australia winning
>Rain delay
everytime ffs

Be a bit embarrassing if you fuck her and underperform now.

>showing this on ch 9

may as well just show the phil hughes match

Nah lad, doing this to lose wait, sick of being a fatcunt
Genuinely a concern where i live, plenty of dark as fuck parks as well

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>giving a fuck about what a tinder thot thinks

G O O S E
O
O
S
E

Sebbo posts on a vpn using my flag and he sometimes uses my PC when I'm not looking and then posts again using a vpn of an Aussie flag on my phone using data. I'm sick of it lads how do I stop this. Literally go for a piss or something and he's in and out and posted five times. Fuck

he's got a gf, lad. can't go sneaking out at night

>Nah lad, doing this to lose wait, sick of being a fatcunt
Fairo. Just check that you wear loose clothing and boxers/jockeys that cover your thighs or chafing will be a nightmare if you're doing long walks every night.

literally giving me PTSD

Did they ever catch the Brisbane poo jogger?

they broke up and he went off to sydney by himself

Not really about her though is it, you've got to maintain some self-respect.

Damn, it must suck living in such a scummy area that you fear a mugging.

yes and he was a high flying corporate executive lmao

nah lad, they live in Goulburn together.

I don't get these things. When I see that I don't think of the holocaust, I think it's some wanky postmodern art thing. Same with the one proposed for london, how do some big gold dominoes have anything to do with it?

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so he's what the fat cunt aspires to be
also don't reply to him

If you're a man it's cool, but women seem to be raped a lot when walking alone. Like that female comedian who was stalked for 4km by some autistic guy, then raped and strangled. It wasn't funny.

>Australia shitting the bed last test is now the go to footage for rain delays
This is suffering. Why no heroic batting to hold on for the draw in the second test?

Add a link to the previous thread.

only said cause some aussie lad told he got mugged couple weeks ago

Growing up with women is the only way to learn their true nature, one they aren't even themselves aware of - the nature of opportunism, greed, spitefulness, hate, their inconsistency, fake words, disdain for the truth at any level and just their petty desire to appear superior to people in close proximity, at any cost.

Dropping bu sebbos place lads, want anything?
Doing 30 minutes for a few weeks first which is like 2 to 3km a night
Did an hour last night which made me realise how badly in shape i am

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>Add a link to the previous thread.
based newcunt

>maybe, bet your dick's bigger though
Bam! and you're in

want absolutely nothing

Do it during the day, sleeping this late at night is only going to fuck up your sleep schedule
You'll never lost weight without proper sleep

I finish work at 10pm lad, still get plenty of sleep

also not Indian by the looks of him

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it's always safer for women not to walk or jog alone

Brilliant insight.

One of the many dark as fuck spots along my walk
My anus is clenched tight when walking past them

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pay in tomorrow

Wanked to a shitty jpeg of katy perry in california girls on my flip phone sony ericson dozens of times when I was 13 now I need to go to /d/ to get hard.

Your powers of deduction are incredible.

Yeah too many nutters out at night. Wish we could just go back to hanging crims desu, most of the nutters who end up raping women at night have priors.

watching the Front Bench

not a fan

for the amount i go at it, i find nothing beats a good old fantasy wank, never went down the rabbit hole material wise.

issue I reckon is meth

no other reason for violence or crime nowadays in Australia

I don't have priors

i never had any priors when i raped my first woman

BASED /CRIC/CHADS

Other Irish poster, are you north co Dublin lad?

>when I see that I don't think of the holocaust
Except with that response you clearlly do

Hang methheads if they refuse to dob in their dealers then, push it up the chain.

for me it was a mildly graphically worded ad on medication for erectile dysfunction on the back of a newspaper poster of Adam Gilchrist I had up on my wall

the Filipino method

honestly do reckon something drastic has to be done meth is absolutely ravaging this country

reverse image search exists my brethren

is this bait? is this how i should talk to my tinder matches?

just go full portugal and legalise everything

niche

Why the fuck would you reverse image search that image?

didn't legalise lad they just decriminalised personal use.

M8 I know what it is because I saw it in the news, all that stuff about people taking selfies there. If I hadn't I wouldn't think of that at all from that pic.

Don't need to legalise just decriminalise everything. No one WANTS to be a meth addict lol but they get locked up for it.

ban all drugs and alcohol. ban gambling and prostitution. ban leftist agenda. and force everyone to go to church. also bring back guns and deport all non whites.

in awe

oh right, I always get the distinction mixed up
But yeah, arresting people for personal use of drugs is the absolute biggest waste of money and time

>George Dobell: "Think we've a window of dry weather for 30 or so minutes now. But I'm not sure that's long enough to get underway before the next band of rain arrives. Umpires have just left pitch. No movement around covers. Still on. We seem to be waiting for the next band of rain. There's a grim possibility that we won't get more play today. Forecast on and off now til 8pm. Very light but very annoying." That is grim.

I don't think it would work on all of them, but some of them like it.

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still realy makes me chuckle imagining steve smith getting his law studying gf to give him throw downs
only to autistically shuffle up after 3 to her and in an aborted fit of rage try and inform her how to do it properly

Prostitution is fine.

>Paying to fuck a woman
Really dire.

tell your mother to get a proper job

you cheating on a gf mate?

nah he lives with his mum

12 year old dimple for $42

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Open relationship.

we're all paying for it one way or the other, you'll find out one day mate.

ECB conspiracy

>cheating

Fuckin fag

Someone's knocking at the door
Somebody's ringing the bell

>the nature of my relationship

I'll assume that means shitty apartment or living with parents.

>inviting a strange man over to your place

women these days are just so fucking dumb

delicious drop that

I literally get more interesting

>lives with his mom
>still gets more pussy than the whole of Yea Forums combined

BASED FUCKING JOSHIE

Clearly it's not that open.

Some definitely are.

can feel a very nice burn and i was fed kraken already so im already on shit way to nice for the budget and fucked on a weddy

>channel 9 replaying the end of the 3rd test match
neck yourself, I don't want to see that shit again

For me, it's prime gwen stefani

I literally get more girls and more interest from girls when I have my status set to taken (I'm single) women have no morale compass and just use you being taken as a sign you're normal, plus they get off on "taking" a man from another woman, even for a night.

U U U U

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love modern women

thank you based jews and feminism

Said it before I'll say it again. For me it's 2014 Angel Olsen with her massive tits.
youtube.com/watch?v=oL_3Y4zNnqg

guarantee there's some pommy expat at channel 9 who decided on this

Yeah same, not had a proper relationship for 3 years but when I used to go on nights out with my GF I got far more girls approaching me when she was at the toilet/getting a drink etc. Pretty grim

keep it up mate, i believe in you

Got blisters on my toes lads ;_;

Mate, we've got rules.

We have to tell each other when we meet someone else. We don't go into detail any what we do with the other person. We have to use protection when we meet someone else. We can't use our place to meet someone else.

yes they do lmao no one forces meth on you

Based huge lad

Thanks lad
Aiming just to get excersise routine first the focus more on diet after

sebbo went to Barbados on holiday and accidentally farted. last we heard it’s been devastating the Bahamas.
the titanic was sunk in 1912 when sebbo picked up the ship because he though it was his bath toy

For me, it's going to the local bar near the airport. Hooking up with women from out of town and then never contacting them again.

All women are whores.

Collingwood or Geelong lads?

Honestly think open relationships are a great idea, as long as both parties are happy with it and it’s not a ‘I’ll guess I’ll do it or he/she will break up with me’. People want to experience new things and there’s nothing wrong with that

gonna give her some of my vitality blast later oi oiiiiii

>poocastle
grim

Yeah not really true though. A lot of women you'll find yourself interested in will be though (because as whores they're already giving you signals).

well this is gay, might play some skyrim

don't think humans are built for it myself

is it raining

supposed to be going on a date tomorrow night with the girl on the left but I've had such a long week and can't be fucked

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Yeah if both people are into it it's their business. For me? Nah, I know too many people who've tried it and it always ends in a fucking nightmare.

Sounds like you won't be fucked LOL

For me, it's number 3

the girl holding the horse shoe is cute. give her my email. [email protected]

Open relationships are probably easier if it's a long distance relationship. Let's be serious, your partner WILL cheat on you if it's long distance so at least if you're open, you can know about it.

Number 2 is clearly the best girl there faggot

Number 4 for me lad

How was Donald Bradman able to average 86.74 against England in the Summer of '46-'47, despite being too wounded to serve in the second nurses reserve in 1945?
What an amazing player.

None of them are blowing my socks off. 4 is a wildcard, too hard to tell with her face like that.

i want do the love with ausgril

just make sure you get on @ newcastle tomorrow r3n7

so we've established that it definitely isnt 1

please stop talking about sex /cric/ is a trad-con area

Stop whacking off for a bit and youll find the motivation to go on the date

>poocastle
grim

had sex twice last night with my fwb so that might be it

How hard is it for chicks to just grab a cucumber when they're horny?

grim

It’s got to be completely impersonal, and neither party can screw someone the other one has even a 1% chance of knowing. Got to be safe with protection, and ideally you meet people that are a good 1+ hour away from you

fat wog bitch? gross m8

nah, the fob indian one

pics?

The Call of Seb'Cthulu

>england start losing control
>call in the rain

never mind australia, guess it's all down to the oval.

Oh wait I remember

new tool album is a strong 8.7

havent had a date in 3 years lads after the last girl broke my little heart

This. But for us there's literally no way to replicate a pussy

still going with her then

not bad for an occasional root, wouldnt really date though

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smelly

might make a move on this wog qt I've met a few times at a party on Saturday

seems dumb as a broke but looks hot and isn't fat like most of them

Didn't she confess like few weeks ago?

>Something phallic up the cunt is what women enjoy most in sex
Christ smells really virgin in here.

Yeah, I told her I wasn't really keen and she was fine with just being fuckbuddies. Sorta feel bad but hey I was upfront and honest - if she falls for me then it's on her

mate you very nearly asked her out be upfront with the /cric/ lads it's all we ask

Honestly BASED as fuck

Indians are literally the most despicable and pathetic race of """people""" on the planet and actually physically disgust me.
Yes, worse than blacks.
Yes, worse than asian bugmen.
Yes, worse than subhuman BRs and other South Americans.

>he doesn't know about the watermelon in the sun trick

Was feeling very bored and lonely at the time, now I'm busy with uni and work I realised I wouldn't really have time

how do you get a girl to have sex with you but not like you as a person enough to want to date you?

dads working late. might ask mum for a cheeky blowie before bed.

Belong to the most despicable and pathetic race of """people""" on the planet lads

They usually secretly do pal.
Or be a massive knob but a good lay

dunno mate, women generally attached much more easily thank blokes

Be attractive or have some sort of social capital in her scene (e.g. be in a popular local band).

cornetto you here m8?

>turned off the last test after stokes hit the 6 with only 2 more needed
>didn't see the missed runout
>didn't see the missed LBW

holy fucking shit

choon lads
youtube.com/watch?v=U4j29YY-W44

Bit peckish

Based sebbo

Drink more water bruddah. Eating at this hour turns the food right into fat.

GIRL I'VE GOT YOU ON MY MIND
I JUST CAN'T GET YOU OUT
THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME
I JUST WANT YOU BY MY SIDE

A piece of fruit lad

come to jesmond and eat my arse

Only weigh 72kg and its all muscle as it is, could do with a bit of fat desu desu.

What if you're below your caloric needs? Im skinny and know nothing about nutrition

Haven't you Australians got work in the morning. Why on Earth are you still up? The fact there most likely going to be no more cricket on just makes it more bizarre. Are you fat shut in neets?

choon

>Australians
>Work
are you retarded?

based skinnybros

funny how sebbo tries to act like he talks about cricket but as soon as the ashes comes back on, he fucking bails

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why doesn't australia declare?
cowards

>Raining today
>Expected to rain tomorrow AND Friday
>Test 5 is going to be all or nothing winner takes all

this is optimal lads

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might be because first ball was at 3am for him

extremely big brain idea to hold a test match in Manchester during Spetember

>this guy's videos
Never seen a man so obsessed with arse holes
It's honestly kind of impressive

Cricket kino incoming.

>2.55pm: The sun is out, reports Mel Farrell. And they're starting to sweep the rain off the covers. But it sounds as though we're in for a few more showers over the course of the afternoon...

So fucking tired, just want to sleep, but I desperately wanna see mark loose get his 50.

Nah 5th test will be rained out also and >we will retain the ashes with the 1-1 series draw.

>sebbo starts posting four hours before the fourth test, at the same time he always starts posting
>stops posting when the test begins
>”durr he’s sleeping”
and of FUCKING COURSE its sebbo on his irish proxy with another pathetic attempt to defend his name
i LITERALLY have you on a STRING.

epic

You're always accusing me of being sebbo and I've been posting on and off so far during the start of play. Funny that. Kinda confirms you lot have no idea whatsoever

Business idea: Sebbo isn't one man but actually a persona taken on by many different anons throughout the day.

he blogged that he isn't working tomorrow earlier

You realise that in your head Sebbo is literally sitting in /cric/ all day all week?

Now here's a lad that gets it

I take your persona once you go offline fyi

well, I don't know where he is. I'm not the one asking for him either lmao

Aussi poster dumb dumb dumb
Aussi poster smart

How come Danza's new song isn't out yet?

Was wondering the same thing. Said he was putting on the finishing touches a while ago now.

Fun sexy fact:
The last time England won five home Ashes in a row was 1893.

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>sebbo gets bullied
>the same fucking Irish flag comes to defend him
>gets called out
>but-but-but I’ve been posting all daaaay :(
sebbo you dumb fuck, i literally had you on a string
i bring up your name, you proxy up and defend yourself, and then you admit you’ve been posting all day on your Irish proxy.
your narrative is so bad that REALITY CUNT’S narratives look airtight

Was that against the full Abo team?

tony danza? toughts and prayers

We've been over this. You're paranoid delusional or larping as such. Sebbo is based and rent fucking free.

Kinda proves though you have no idea what you are talking about if you thought sebbo had gone, but then the people you accuse of being sebbo are posting all day.

Take your meds mate and enjoy the cricket if it comes back on

What this Sebbo cunt doesn't seem to realize is that trip/name/personafags have been doing this shit on /cric/ for the best part of a decade at this point. convict and goose were samefagging and using proxies like this as far back as 2012.
It's so fucking transparent. You are not as subtle or clever as you think you are.

You retards still banging on about this sebbo prick? Who the fuck is he anyway?

Just across Manchester, about 15 mins from OT and its not rained for ages

Just an American that likes a bit of cricket

Do any Aussies live in Tasmania? If so what's it like?

Why these koala botherers always talking about him?

Pretty bland

Less questions lads they'll acuse you too

fucking sick of a fifth of the thread being sebbo rambling

just ignore him and move on and he will too, fucking hell it's not hard you dumb cunts

What's a sebbo?

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oi was roiped by an abbo
its not funneh

They accused him of using an Irish proxy because one of the Irish lads defended him against their bullying. It's only one or two of the Aussies so hard against him anyway.
Now what happened was some Irish anons pretended to be Sebbo accidentally forgetting to turn off the proxy, and it got rather autistic that night let me tell you.

it's cause you post like a fag the same way

He's not here though mate lmao you're only exacerbating the Sebbo posting by mentioning it every so often.

wtf, shes hot

Some people have to much time on their hands I guess.

he's clearly not him and was here before sebbo was

sick of reiterating that over and over for all you mongs

well played, she will definitely fall for you. I'd advise not hanging out with her more than once a week to keep it in the pleasure corridor

Sounds like fun. Can I play?

A homunculus

unlikely, abos were literally genocided in tasmania

this might be Sebbo covering his tracks...

I do. Bit like the rest of Australia but more tight knit. We think of ourselves us fundamentally different to mainlanders and will often demand foreigners to refer to us as Tasmanian as opposed to Australian.

That was sebbo and so am I.

The worst of the sebbo posting and accusing happens in the morning our time. Sebbo is probably still up shit posting and he gets alot of hassle around then. Irish posters get alot of hassle at that time trust me I know

desu it's getting boring af and it's really off-topic but you can do whatever you like to friend :^)

quite happy you lads doing that, don't want to claim you with the exception of Ponting and Riewoldt

don't know laid back or close knit until you've lived in Darwin Tbh
shit city great culture

At least take Paine too. Please.

I've only met a few Tasmanians and they were all very nice folk

For me it's Boston, Liverpool, and Ned Kelly

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How long until play resumes?

Tomorrow about 7:55pm AEST

What about Taz?

>be england
>rain

Why do they even bother to play cricket over there?

>Tito:"Considering the consistently miserable weather, should England home games not be moved to the UAE like Pakistan's?"
I wholeheartedly support this move and will hopefully kill of the Duke Ball meme
There is a reason Kookaburra Balls are used more around the world then Duke or god forbid what ever ball India use

>”durrrrr stop posting about sebbo”
>fucking proceeds to non-stop rant to fuel his victim complex for half an hour
>”boo hoo they’re calling me sebbo they’re deluded and paranoid waaaaah all I wanna do is talk about cricket but instead I’m gonna cry about being called out :(“
pathetic, fatguts. just pathetic.
I look forward to you blatantly repeating this exact process in the near future.

Fair enough, mainland aus is pozzed as shit and nothing to be proud of

youtube.com/watch?v=D4dHr8evt6k

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Shan't be responding to that schizophrenic rant

>acknowledges it anyway
you truly are incapable of resisting temptation, fatguts.

Kek

4 2 1 5 3

Good choice, although i have a thing for wogs so I'd switch 2 and 4 around

there is not enough information to know the answer but I still like my chances
I would try K, which stands for kill me please

reminder of sebbo’s contribution:
>gets called out again
>”NOOOO STOP DOING THAT JUST TALK ABOUT CRICKET”
>”oh hi britain they think I’m sebbo which is totally not true”
>”sebbo is this American they hate, btw he’s not me, and he’s totally based actually”
>”haha he just wants to talk about cricket”
>”woah slow down they might accuse you too lololol”
>”they’re totally paranoid”
>”sebbo’s totally based lol”
>he does this for half an hour, for no VALID REASON, without talking about cricket
sebbo you are literally universally hated and your irish sebboIDF persona is laughably transparent. it’s so goddamn funny how you rant about us not talking about cricket, but then some brit asks you who sebbo is and you suddenly spend half an hour talking about how based and epic he is.

just shit the fuck up and stop giving him attention

just shut the fuck up and stop giving him attention

Sky rightly calling out the lazy nigger

Why do they always revert to type lads?

Funny how he struggled to stay on-topic during the World Cup

found an absolutely retarded solution where you go in a circle and write in all the missing letters as you go, apparently spelling out INSTANT DEATH and with the only door not involved in spelling that being the one between J and K. just stupid

Lads, LADS, guess what?

griget

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>playing the same team TEN TIMES in a row
why is cricket so autistic?

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dont care
didnt even want to win the ashes
shit sport

BASED

The Cricket recommences soon

bat on ball imminent

Is Joffa Archer related to Joffa from Collingwood's cheersquad?

Yes, they are 3rd cousins

Did Jaffa Archer invent the Jaffa Cake?

Yes, when he was 11 whilst on holidays in Cornwall

When commentators describe a ball as a Jaffa, they mean a good ball, because Archer is the greatest ever test cricket bowler.

Archer bowling too many short balls, just showing he is a one trick pony

>England tour of South Africa
Kino

reckon leboschagne won't make 50

Whos up for some fuckin cricket

looking forward to 500 odd plays 400 odd on roads

Jaffa Archer is a bowler

Based thai cricket fan.

WHY ARE THEY PLAYING IN THE RAINY, WINDY SHITTY NORTH? The weather is fine here in southampton.

Wow that's some effort

Personally, looking forward to the game at Wanderers

business idea: hired people in the crowd to run out in front of the sightscreen just as the ball is delivered

>implying England's batsmen can make 400 against SA's bowling attack

Business idea get better bowlers

>4th consecutive 50 for Labuschange
Pretty based desu lad
Hoping he makes a ton this test

Reminder that Sam Curran will take 20 wickets at the Oval in a losing cause.

business idea: Cricket rain hail or shine

wtf I thought there was going to be no more play

I've just been watching episodes of university challenge on youtube instead, didn't realise the cric was back on

That beach ball is fast

cricket is more kino in jumpers

Great 4 from Smudge but rubbish fielding

LOOK GUYS I CAN BOWL A BOUNCER

Patrician

objectively true

Business idea: a beachball on the pitch at all times

fuck off england

>Umpires delaying while it pours down
Australia to get rolled shortly after play next resumes due to the pitch being a soggy mess.

I hate Old Trafford so fucking much bros. It needs to be stripped of Test status until global warming makes it less rainy.

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Like the jumpers because it hides the god awful numbers

It isn't raining anymore but they won't be able to start for 20 mins because cricket.

What are they booing? Their own shitty weather? The fact they have to live in England?

>Rain already stopped
Thanks for breaking the batsmen's concentration.

reminder i tipped Australia

ahh yes northern weather very good indeed

In 20 years all England will produce subcontinental pitches.

Wagering that england will become year round Monsoon-tier within 20 years. grim

what do people mean by a subcontinental pitch?

BASED rain looms

Would any of you follow Joe Root into battle?

business idea: home games in offshore territories like gibraltar bermuda and anguilla

>get the draw due to shite weather
>win at the oval

Easy

Those are great for a laugh.

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St Helena test match when?

someone please tell me you snapped that CUTIE next to willsmith in the window

love this manufactured rivalry between smith and archer
reality is smith had no problems facing him until he got hit with a ball that stayed on a pitch with inconsistent bounce and sloped so that it would angle back into him

Not even memeing, I think Steve Smith would make a QT trap.

Grim

I, for one, cannot wait.

got on the australian equivalent of this as a kid
won of course

jesus christ they used to be an empire

Kinda gay desu

>one third of balls to smith from archer have been bouncers
Cant wait till this archer meme dies

Only if Ben Stokes was right behind him.

You lot need to take into account that this fucking test series is being played in September. You can't expect perfect weather.

yeah can't be an empire if you've got some cherry picked darkies on a tv show unfortunately

I've never seen such a short rain break.

I think this is a better idea for football. Home match against Argentina in the Falklands.

have not once expected perfect weather from Grimland

When is good weather in England?

Asian? Feel like the Australian versions would be at least 50% Asian.

pitch invasions from the seething away fans would be kino

I'd rather follow Tim fucking Paine.

Well if they'd played during the world Cup period it would have been easy to get through the series, there was hardly any rain at all.

based winterbro

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How can it be freezing there and here as well?

Autumn now, seen a lot of crunchy leaves on the ground already

Gulf stream my lad

>Smith fidgeting ntensifies
This angers the English

nah whitey. had one Asian on our team I think, rest were wogs.
this was the very early 00s so they weren't obsessed with equal representation

What's the temperature in aus?

>Archer will never bowl at 95mph again because the coward Joe Root crocked him in his first game
>He will just be another generic medium-fast workhorse
It's not fair

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Belfast? I'd go up on the train and support the opposition, unless it's India or maybe Safrica.

Damn I didn't even realise it's spring now, I guess we're in the wrong.

Smith hahahaha he's out he's out

nah too rainy there as well, better to use the sunny territories

It's gonna get as cold as 3 degrees during the night.

1-20°C seems to be the common night/day spread around most of the place.

looking cooked out there

why isn't archer getting smith out like he said he would?

Cyprus crying for a test

Wtf archer is bowling slow as fuck

That one innings went to his head.

Based slavedriver Root

>mph

cringe

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Wtf is that tism shuffle

>Archer not bowling to the field
Is Archer cooked lads?

>Kph
More like kys

This is the best post today

Archer doesn't look half the bowler as the second test rn.

>tism shuffle
Exactly what it says on the tin.

smith's batting autism is as pure cricket as you will ever watch

Thanks :)

Based idiomatic senpai

p s y c h o l o g i c a l l y
.o
poot
k
e
d

If it were me out there, I would bowl very fast directly at his toes, just like I used to do on Brian Lara International Cricket 2007.

Fucking hell lads I hate Joe Root more than I hate Australians it's time for that lesbian to fuck off. Ruined Englands brave Jofra Archer.

Commentators had a bit of a fit with that mkve Smith did
I can hear the English seethe from here

had a 29 C day last week

Lads I think its time to give Denners a spin.

For me, it's having a long neck which makes having proper posture difficult.

only his 3rd test in and he's already a dobbler
fuck root

>Literal fucking litter blowing onto the field

Wrappers moving at incredible speeds

can't wait to finally have a test where I don't have to hear about Farter all day

>Manchester

a bloody crisp packet

>Litter giving the batters more trouble than the English bowlers

Comedy test match kino

Tactical crisp packets.

*be's having the most elite crease grunt in world international cricket*

English commentators laughing it up imagine if this shit happened anywhere else they'd be calling for more invasions

lmao it came right to him

That crisp packet moving faster than Archer's deliveries desu

Hahaha Broad just stood there, hands on hips looking down at the ground with crisp packets blowing across his feet

Sebbo is the only one that has the same time as the other one is a little more than I can say is that you are not feeling well.

That wicket looks a bit loose.

>Ben stokes stops a million times because someone is moving their pinky finger in the 4th tier

>Bails fall off so batsmen pulls away
>Broad gets mad

?????????????

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Commentator is having kittens about the crisp packets.

How do you bowl someone if there are no bails?

based fucking worcestershire sauce crisp packet

No bail kino

What the fuck how can you play without bails? Surely that's against the rules

>No bails
Going to laugh if the ball passes between the stumps at bail height.
Although what happens if the ball ever so lightly hits the stumps (not enough that it'd normally knock off the bails?

>No bails on the stumps facing the delivery
I am an absolute cricket autist and I have never seen this before.

I dont know cricket, but im playing now.

35 overs, 352 to beat.
Curently 55 for 11.

Whaddja rekon?

Hate litterers desu no respect

This is the purest of kinos.

kino

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Crickek

How is life on that island even possible

Strengthen your neck muscles mate

do they make special cricket shoes lads?

Don't be deceived by his laughs

Erasmus is shattered those packs are empty

Erasmus is the most based umpire since billy

It's very windy, might have just blown away. Let's not rush to judgement.

Don't they use the heavy bails in this situation?

If this happened in the Windies I'd be posting the n-word like no tomorrow.

Reminder that England now needs to pull the stump out of the ground with the ball in hand to perform a stumping/run out.

>crisps
Australian lingo is so fucking cringe.

Labuschagne 52 (99) c Walkers crisps b Broad

Yeah

farcical
how did the ECB let this happen

American education

They wouldn't blow away if they were in the fucking bin

Is Rob Bailey related to Bailey Jay ?

SAME OLD AUSSIES
ALWAYS WINNING

This is what happens when you pander to poos by putting limited overs in peak test cricket months

What happens if there's an LBW review and ball tracking has it clipping the bails?

Will Bailey deliver the bails?

Reminder that Broad needs to keep pace with the ball and remove the stump when it gets hit by the ball to clean bowl someone

How is it fair that the aussies have TWO Bradmans?

Does the ball typically move in the wind or is it too fast/heavy over the relatively short distance?

BASED brainlet

moves a bit

I guess if clouds can apparently make a ball spin differently then it should

>Australia gets Marnus
>New Zealand gets Wagner and Watling
>meanwhile England gets Compton and Roy

lmao

moves

I just don't get it, he shuffles across, he's twitchy and moves his head too much. He's the ugliest batsman I've ever seen. He must have an actual flaw in his technique, just fucking bowl him out.

Hate litterers
Hate Old Trafford
Hate Greater Manchester
Hate autumn
Hate the ECB
Hate Joe Root
Simple as

Gotta love it when umps tell bowlers to hit the stumps when there are no bails due to wind
Also fuck cazzies who havent seen no bails before while play is still on

>Tell kids you have to have your head like this, elbow like this, hands like this, feet like this, eyes like this, shoulders like this
>Expect them to focus on something coming at them at 80mph hundreds of times in a row

it's not that his technique is good kr bad but it's that he has absolutely insane hand eye coordination

His weakness his himself

Probably like the pic related where there's actually so much wrong with him that it all cancels each other out and makes him elite.

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His head is pretty still as the ball comes in

agree on all

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based

His head is still when the ball is bowled.
He's standing in front of off stump and is good off his legs so unless the ball does some magic you won't bowl him. Given where he stands he can leave anything that won't hit him and it'll miss the stumps, etc.

Smith is doing this so easily lads, who would bet against him here making another 100?

Broad and the rest bowling like shite and looking frustrated.

GG england

sneed

Poot.

*brap*

This is spot on, it makes alot of sense if you are godlike at playing off your pads

oh no freddie...

Over-ton is a great name for an all-rounder desu

Was that Freddie Flintoff making out with a 13 year old girl?

>They're just a fraction short
The fattie says this literally EVERY TIME he's commentating

don't understand the Woakes omission

curran would have broken this partnership by now

WTF FREDDIE?

yes /ourguy/

Pic?

curran suck on these ballz m8

Same, maybe for Anderson but still.....

Get Freddie on for a bowl

even going past the bowling thing, England's weakness is their batting so why do you drop the all rounder for a absolute shitter of a batsman?

Is Smith now redpilled on the final solution to the n*gger question?

i simply must dab

grim

Why don't they just hit a 6 every ball? They would score much quicker that way.

big fan of Marnus, lad has such a tight technique. reckon he'd be good in the subcontinent too, looks very comfortable against spin

modernity getting a bit too grim and tiresome might fuck off to tasmania 2bh

Rain looms

Why don't they just glue the bails to the stumps to stop them falling off?

Because it's Australia's innings.

Businness idea

Overton looks like a spectator they've just taken from the local United game.

Business idea: umpires don't have to award 4 runs if its a lucky edge

Can't WAIT for a good 50% of the 5th test to be lost to rain and bad light

Imagine not being able to handle a bit of wind. I thought Australians were tougher than this.

been thinking the same

it'd just be a formality for my job too, can easily change offices

Me again.
74 for 15.

Can we do 268 in 20?

Based Labantershane

how will they determine if its a lucky edge or a deliberate shot idiot, terrible business plan you'd go bankrupt

Smith is autistpilled and the solution to the cricket problem.

Umpire's discretion. Assume that if Smith edges it it was deliberate, if Roy edges it it was luck.

most esoteric over ever bowled in test cricket?

How to they determine if they played attempted a real shot when the ball imapcts outside off, with their brains mate

If Overton gets a wicket in this match I will lose my shit.

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Paine would have reviewed that lel

The player*

Kek

Le review and lose man

fun post to read, cheers bud

Grim desu

...

have to agree

that's still a lot more clear cut isnt it. and that has a purpose. trying to not make peope shoulders arms to every deliver. you cant control an uncontrolled edge can you
idiot

Didn't realise this was back on

M-maybe Pooy and Poot will put on a similar partnership

based brain haver

Think you might be taking this a bit too seruously mate

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Is this the most kino session of cricket this year?

>Novelty oversized bails
That seems like cheating.

Screw could stick out a bit more desu

Garage door is open without anyone opening it. concerning

Business idea: 2 miniature stumps on top of 3 novelty sized bails

magnetic bails malfunctioning

your an idiot mate plain and simple

Will Overton bowl over a tonne of pies during the day's play?

new thread looms

Do you have a cat? If your cat is relaxed you can too.

just got called into work lads

Just go inside you mugs

So I take it you're not investing?

>Staying out in the rain until England gets a wicket again

have you been pulling a sickie

unexpected later shift

i will not be no thank you

looming fresh bread

hasn't gone England's way I reckon lads

Rich get richer and the shit get shitter