/heem/: www.bjpenn.com

who's the worst? the dutch reddit nigger?

Nope, That would be dernmark

Anthony Penis

>down two rounds
>gassed

>go for the takedown

the power of negro IQ

Hey heem... we're cool, right?

This is Bisping's weightclass. Could he beat either of these guys?

Kasangay would heem him

s-sure

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he got utterly heemed by a Welterweight manlet so no

The post that he plagiarized from me and posted on Reddit that got 8 downvotes ended up being right. It basically said that Romero would lose to Paulo

Did anyone bet on Kasanganay?

Conor's foot was a BALLOON

Alexander Jamalsson

I bet on the fight going the distance for +240

Good call

I bet 1250 to win 6289.38

Thanks. I was mad after I broke my rule of betting on an asian

Kasanganay is gonna be pretty good when he gets more experience. The guy is good for only 1 year of fighting experience. Not ready for the UFC though.

Are Hawaiians half-Asian?

That was the biggest upset in Contender Series history.

me foot was a fookin balloooooon

>youtu.be/4rs5jPNLKuk
>youtu.be/Tv8VudHeeEI
>youtu.be/BDWJU6AdRKU

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Wrong

That hover

blacked

DANA!!!!!!

>that hover on sanko
lol

There is a lot of east Asian blood in Hawaii but I don't consider real Polynesians to be Asian.

what's up with that hover hand lol just grab her dude i'd do it too

>Mr. White
the black Sage

I rate Hawaiians and Filipinos as hapa.

blue lips blue lips

I see blue lips

Attached: hqdefault.jpg (480x360, 34K)

FUNKY BEN ASKREN!

I like this guy, hope he gets a contract

Good value on Ash, completing the 4/5 underdog sweep.

Do you have to have someone close to you die to get on this show, jesus christ?

Everyone knows someone that has died prematurely, unfortunately that's how life is.

Odds are a few /heem/ posters have died over the years and we would never know.

Europeans from Europe are almost as shitty at fighting as Asians.

Tapology is a meme, hilarious that ESPN is giving them credibility

RIP

This guy had to go back to when he was a kid. They’re going to have people on here talking about how sad they were when their great grandparents died. “He was only 95 :’( that’s why I knock people the fuck out, in his memory.”

I think Hawaii is like 30-40% Japanese these days but a real indigenous Hawaiin shouldn't be considered Asian. Also Philippines has all sorts of mixing: Spanish, African, Portuguese, East Asians, and the native Southeast Asians

I have nothing against this guy but these animations are retarded

Are any Americans going to watch the card this weekend live? I was planning on it until I realized the main card starts at 6 am ET. Probably going to have to watch this one later on in the day.

TJ Brown was the favorite and Barret opened as a favorite

DEE DEVLIN TURNED INTO A BALLOON

Rip

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Dee is looking rough these days

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I'll be up all night playing Dark Souls and drinking coffee until the heems start

Not a chance, wouldn't even watch that steaming pile of shit card even if it was on normal American time.

I've never had sex so I can't judge.

Break them up ref

Pretty hot tbqh. Now she mogs Conor.

she needs a nice BBC

>I've never had sex

are you serious?

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It's a celebration

Dead serious

That's why I said 4/5 retard

it's harder than you think

I'll be watching

So headbutts are legal again?

Anyone going to UFC Vancouver ?

Wanna pay for my tickets?

This guy is not trying to win a contract, he's just trying to win the fight.

It's 1-1, he's going to lose the fight and the contract.

I'm going to miss these Tuesday cards

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>I've never had sex so I can't judge.
>I've never had sex
>never had sex
how? There's so many desperate girls on dating apps it's impossible not to

"How the fuck is that a snake you lanky faggot? That's not even a centipede. Your dick looks like you, average in length and about as thick as a fucking toothpick. You're lucky I'm not a cutbabby or I'd heem you stiff and steal your manfaced girlfriend. Fuck you."
What did justin"the highlight" gaethje mean by this?

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I'm finna make a tinder tomorrow, can't get a heem if you don't throw any strikes

That faggot landed at least a dozen headbutts

some people ugly user

No, pay for your own and we'll get drinks together instead :)

>Kutbeib Seizuregapieceoffuckingshitov couldn't finish

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I might. Did anyone else go to the 2017 card (Maia vs Condit)? There were a number of massive brawls outside Rogers arena following the event, saw a few Surrey fags get brutally heemed. Satisfying as fuck

Really? I thought those things were fake

good last round

>30-27
jesus christ

boomer genocide when

fuck you!

Hahaha look at Dana in those skinny jeans

Lol

If Leon Edwards got a 3 piece with a Soda, what did Till and Askren get?

how in the sweet fuck has Iaquinta won a single fucking fight, how does "stand there and be a punching bag" win

alright I'm coming back

What are you guys watching?

cte

Why do you keep spamming this image of Donald Cerrone decisioning Al Iaquinta while berating Khabib for doing the same thing?

I still can't believe they let that Canadian faggot just quit without getting a loss

till got a crotch crunch with a flush, askren got a proper burial.

they've worked for me

As a hereIt was the last one of 2019

He keep going. He is real Brooklyn gangster. He's not Burger King. He is real gangster. Come here and fight like man. I have big respect for him.

Barrett's gf is qt

Because Canald Canboy Canronne is a well known can?

Let me guess, the Serbian can who fought like shit and got signed is managed by Ali

This is why I dont want to go to a UFC event, everyone gets fired up on bloodlust like monkeys afterward. It has happened at most of the events I've seen live in bars, fights will always break out after

bros..

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99% of the time if you don't want to get in a streetfight you won't get into a streetfight

Stay away from negroes and dont talk shit, you wont get hit

you acting like a bitch kato

Don’t be a poorfag and get some good seats that low class trash can’t afford.

does Rumble heem jones at heavyweight?

ufc fags respect dominance, just scream
>FUCK YOU BITCH
at anybody that makes eye contact with you, you shouldn't have any problems

>conveniently un-retires as soon as DC is flushed and retired
crumble is a can

he has been active just not ready to go.

hopefully fat fuck has been wrestling so he can protect his damn back

You'll be fine lad, just limit your alcohol consumption and practice situational awareness.

lol did he really un-retired?

He had the best shot of all the LHW contenders to beat Jon it's too bad they never fought (I think Rumble was the only dude who shook Jon because he was always super friendly to him), but HW Rumble will probably just be Ngannou with better striking. He'll probably throw bombs the first round and maybe the beginning of the second and then he'll be gassed out. He could contend for the HW belt though. The problem is he's probably still a heartlet.

Give it to me straight lads does Conor win the rematch?

He's been on steroids so he was waiting for his system to clear out

2-1

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I didn't even realize Rumble was one of Ali's fighters. Fuck Rumble.

The real redpill is he'll never get the rematch.

>not knowing fumble was flagged by usada

He needs to go through a dozen montages to even consider redemption.

Yes

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no, he can't KO Kebab and would get taken down everytime

What's wrong with Ali? He seems pretty based to me

He's probably a literal heartlet at this point.

Nate flushed Khabib without breaking a sweat. Dustin and Tony are fucked and stand no chance.

Say what you want about Ali (I don't like him either) but he gets results for his fighters

with that old man that he sucker punched? Naw I got the old man by Scorpion Death Lock

by "results" do you mean put on a terrorist watch list?

this is true, he's still a massive scumbag tho

that's because you are terrorist

mmmmmm

LITERALLY, ACTUALLY a fucking terrorist
and not in a metaphorical way

Till will get fucking heemed by Gastelum

Any of you fags want to goto UFC Vancouver?maia vs Condit didn't pique my interest last time

I thought he was a CIA agent

Elaborate

No what he means is he gets all his fighters massive paydays

Let's go to the San Francisco card. These NorCal cards are rare

bisping is a fraud, FRAUD

They were using him as an informant for a while but stopped because he was giving them bad information
He worked with the muslim brotherhood of america training their guys in martial arts.
fuqrafiles.com/knowledgebase/nypd-informant-ali-abdel-aziz/

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just google it retard

Why hate a man for being good at his job, even to the detriment of his own perceived character? He is a success and assuredly cares nothing of what internet trolls think of him

He was part of a muslim extremist org in NY then was nabbed by the fbi and started snitching on the extremist org.

Its why gooby called him a terrorist snitch

I would if I wasnt on the other side of the country. Flight would cost at least a G at this point

gamebredofficial.com/collections/frontpage/products/autograph

This guy is selling autographs, I wonder if they're even individual or just printed. It's actually quite a smart move, I'm surprised more fighters don't do it. But most will sign for free if you just send to their gym.

cool post bro, I still think he's a rat that should burn in hell along with you

Go to bed Canor

managers are a meme. they don't do anything.

based retard

so now I'm a millionaire?

t. manager scamming his clients

Idk man, Ali's boys tend to always get good chances. He manages 3 current champions and members of his clientele get opportunities and shots they dont deserve (Frankie edgar)

>hey, hey buddy, hey buddy, you don't want to be bothering yourself with all this stress of scheduling one interview a week. Buddy, you think you can afford to respond to four emails a day? Just give me a cut of your winnings, I'll handle it all, buddy.

Imagine Nate Diaz trying to figure what the contract he is signing means

I imagine a good manager is entirely the reason a fighter might make either 50 thousand or 500 thousand for the same fight. If masvidal didnt have his management in his ear telling him what he's worth, he'd probably fight for peanuts

what is that guys secret?

I bet he managed to negotiate some solid in-roads and connections for the overseas market and Dana is now indebted to him for the favor

realistically what are my chances of becoming the UFC HW champion? I'm paraplegic by the way

he sucked dana's dick

Did you see how the shelby lowballed the fuck out of fighters in the ufc's court case? Good managers mitigate that risk for fighters

>HW
>with no legs/no leg musculature

You must be quite the chunky boy

>we need to protect the illiterate
the fighter's getting paid either have an impressive record or are women, a manager is just negotiating his cut

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It's not about reading contracts or literacy, it's about negotiation.

Christ, bro. Imagine doing business without a Jew or a shady Arab negotiating on your behalf. You'd have to be a well-educated sociopath. For the majority of us white, hispanic, and black people we are just too honest for our own good and wouldn't be able to advocate for our interests very well.

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What is your argument here, that all fighters devalue themselves? That fighters are incapable of saying "No, 10k/10k isn't enough."? Or are you just one of those retards that think fighters are babies that need saving?

jesus christ you are a cringy mother fucker

this is the most honest argument for managers I've seen. you would have to be a pozzed out worshipper of the desert races to support this shit.

i don't think it's that easy when the nigga in charge can say "lol dude take this fight or you're going to fight the toughest nigger in the division on a prelim of a fight night"

I see, you are a retard
but the magic manager stops it when the fighter couldn't?

Canboy had three (3) rounds

MGM grand buffet to the face

>Wife's boyfriend won't let me watch UFC prelims on Saturday because of his son's Saturday morning cartoons

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Al would have heemed cuckrone in the champ rounds

I dont think fighters need saving but their is a purpose for employing a manager. Do you believe that someone like Tuivasa would be better off with no manager. Also magaers aren't required either, I bet their are plenty of fighters without managers

T-there were headbutts tonight?

yeah, that's their entire job. it's always better to have someone representing you unless they suck ass at what they do. most fighters are literally brain damaged and not very smart to begin with, why stress out with having to negotiate with a multi billion dollar organization when you can have a guy who's entire career is dealing with those fucking snakes do it for you? a manager has experience with faggotry and judaism, if you don't accept that as a tangible skill worth payment then so be it, but you cannot deny that a fighter wasting time negotiating on their own behalf is distracted when they could be training.

Al vs Cowboy was 5 rounds

I think most fighters are retards who couldnt successfully negotiate nor understand the finer points of a contract. Some are smart enough to understand and do it on their own, but not many. The managers are responsible for securing spots on those ufc tire and modelo commercials, and are in charge of negotiating film roles and appearances on tv. Just like how most fighters arent smart enough to diversify their income and so they have financial advisors do it for them. Like nate with his cbd company, DC with his gay barber shop

KEK

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bros how many contracts did dana give out tonight???

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for you I will admit, I haven't heard of a business run by a fighter doing well

this is what peak performance looks like.

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Conor's record vs fighters taller than him (5'9):
>Joe Duffy (5'10)
L
>Max Holloway (5'11)
W
>Nate Diaz (6'0)
L
>Nate Diaz (6'0)
"W"
>Khabib Nurmagomedov
L

Why doesn't everyone just cut like they're in Auschwitz and become a midget murderer?

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connor only has the record he does because of his abuse of weight cutting

Is that American UFC heavyweight champion Steven Miocheck?

>”W”

ugh.

"""W"""

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he also defeated Aaron Jahnsen and Dave Hill who were taller.

Tim Boetsch shaved ice cones are a drawl during the summer

>10 years ago stipe miocic was given a choice

If they don't have wikipedia pages then they aren't people

It was a clear story loss
>abuse
if you can make that weight all is fair. if he lived a healthier lifestyle he probably could've continued at 145, but he did look ghastly

because if you cut like you're in auschwitz eventually you die like you're in auschwitz

that is indeed the heavyweight champion of the world of the ultimate fighting championship in the world pro euker player american stipe miocic

>if you can make that weight all is fair
no its not lmao how retarded do you have to be to think this way

I don't even know what this post means

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> nate diaz record against fighters taller than him
> 0-0 (never fought a taller opponent, no cerrone is not taller)

> nick diaz record against fighters taller than him
> 0-2 (Condit, Silva)

had to google it

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>I don't even know what round scoring means

it's how combat sports are b
you're always gonna have a few turbo-cutbabbies but everyone's trying to fight as low as they healthily can

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The girl on the left is a dime

not in OneFC or any sane organization that does same day weigh ins

>The Diaz bros are gatekeepers
Big if true. Just makes conor losing to Nate look worse.

Why is weight such a meme in the HW division? The best champs have always been lighter guys like Stipe, Cain, and JDS

I wish I had the confidence to rock a mullet, I feel like my true personality would come out more

I wish fighters would be forced to fight closer to their walking weight but I dont think the poofc and the commissions want to do anything about it

What's stopping you? Do you have an office job or is it just your confidence? If it's the later just do it bro. You clearly want it and anyone who talks shit about it is just jealous.

the poofc doesn't give a fuck about shit but money, just look at how they handled Demetrius johnson

Just rewatched Anderson Silva vs Dan Henderson. Hendo wins that fight 80/100 times.

Having a mullet is the ultimate 'fuck you' to today's society. Unironically people will fear and respect you, because they can tell you're unhinged and supremely confident by the mullet on your head.

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Who is going to be on the cover of UFC 4? It can't be Conor anymore, if DC won it would have been him. MAYBE Khabib if he wins, but he's only really such a big draw with muzzies. If Masvidal becomes champ by the next release he might have the power though I doubt it, but I could easily see it being Nate if he wins a few more really fun fights, like Pettis, Masvidal and then something yuge like Woodley he would easily get it, but he wouldn't be able to beat Woodley anyway so that's mute.

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I'm already kind of a goof, put a mullet on me and it would be so over the top I worry people wouldn't show me what little respect they do

Ali Abdelaziz was arrested on 9/11/2001 attempting to fly from Egypt to New York carrying multiple fake passports.

fuck what people think as long as you are secure with yourself

This guy was Colby Covington before Colby had hair on his pubes.

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it's gonna be cepoodo, just wait

fuck off nerd, you're begging to get bashed
stay off the tracks
geek
chaos nation baby
marty fakenewsman aint got the trumps showing up to his fights
cuz he's too busy faking injuries
ill roast you again later just gonna go do some cardio in the bedroom real quick you know how i am

Greg Hardy would be ideal

cejudo for sure

Not a bad idea, guaranteed to draw in the Madden crowd and boost sales.

Usman will be on the cover

heeeeeeeey brather one last run at the strap to rediscover

That fucking faggot probably won’t even fight again until after the game comes out.

Probably le memebender

fuck poosman
fuck queefington

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What animal should Conor train as to get the strap back? I say a vulture, he needs to pick his opponents apart

it's 100% either Kebab or Masvidal

it will be colby chaos covington

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unironically this

im gonna love it when he pulls the race card about not being on the cover

i miss him so much

Wait until you test my conditioning, dog. I’m going to take you into deep waters. I’m going to leave you out there with no fucking snorkel. I’m actually working out as I’m talking. What are you doing, user? Stuffing your face full of tiramisu? It’s not even Tuesday, dog. I bet you're a fucking cake eater. I bet you eat it with a fucking silver-spoon. See I actually train bujinkan ninjutsu, so i could take that silver spoon, and beat you over the head with it.

/Heem/ is eternal

God, I would be sooo happy

It will probably be something memey like Bruce Lee or a classic fighter like Liddell or Royce. UFC is running out of marketable fighters with stain power.

cody garbrant was going to be it until he forgot to learn how to keep his hands up

I eat my cake with a fork

they would only put a current champ on the cover, I think it will be Khabib actually. woodley is a good lad stop h8ing
one more run at the strap irmao

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tuesday's a long way away brotha, you think you get your pick? Nah, it's my pick, and i choose that ankle bro. Then it's the end game, and I've always been a gamer. Nintendo 64-40 is gonna be the score man. Get ready bro.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

>so, when you say im a "GOOD LAD", does that mean A "GOOD LAD" FOR A BLACK GUY?

>woodley is a good lad stop
unironically a worse champ than Bisping

Well he certainly is a good lad considering his life circumstances
95043893
>

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Cody knew TJs juicing routine, why didn't he do it himself so he didn't get heemed

>so when you say, my "LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES", do you mean, "LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES FOR A BLACK GUY"?

Cody was too pure for us, a bonafide retard CTE'd brainlet with shit tattoos but hidden behind that is the soul of a saint.

Who is this Dhastin fella?

Your current and year-ending UFC lightweight champ

95043901
Bisping is complete trash for chasing #14 Dan Henderson and GSP for title defenses but even that wasn't as bad as getting served up The Bum Darren Till after putting the world to sleep with the Thompson and Maia fights. Oh, yeah, and he's a crybaby bitch that considers his melanin to be his greatest attribute

If he wins (he won't) then yeah.

(You)
lose weight
gain employment
have a good night

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dude everyone knows bisping is the biggest can champion of all time, its not exactly a secret, even he knows it

posts like this might as well read "You are correct"

I could literally heem Francis ngniggoo.

no, Bisping is still the worst champ in UFC history, he literally had no business being champion and held the belt until he couldn't more, i don't even know how the fuck GSP struggled to finish him

GSP had ulcerative collitis and still put that can to sleep

Why do people give Conor shit but unironically think Max isn't an even bigger cutbabby? He's the same height as DC but he fights at 145.

He got exposed hard when he got btfo by poorier again but people never learn.

because he's not a piece of shit human being

>shit talking the Natty GOAT

SAD what /heem/ has come to. Remember the days when buddeh posting WAS /heem/. These zoomers will never understand

was gooby really that much bigger than everyone at FW? i think that how the division is nowadays he would be about above average

shut up nerd

because current max would beat the absolute fucking dogshit out of peak mcgregor worse than he did to ortega

>all these Bisping haters appearing out of nowhere
Count me in

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Yes

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buddeh posting was always tongue in cheek, buddeh

max is a framelet, poorier fight proved he wouldn't fare well against the top lightweights unless he put on serious size. don't think he's built like that

Shane Burgos would bully Conor at featherweight

confirmed

>buddeh posting in 2017+2

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As much as I hate Bisping, he has 1 title defense

That forever makes him a more legitimate Champion than the likes of McGregor, Garbrandt, etc

/heem/ Seethe-y

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I know a couple ugly, short dudes who have been on Tinder for years and get maybe one match per month. It's not uncommon for women to swipe left 99% of the time

lmfao, the face he makes after that missed right and then gets KO'd, so funny

Been to 4 UFC events. This is not an issue.

I just find it funny how I have all of you wrapped around my finger.

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How can anyone hate Bisping after he started the end of Rockhold’s career? And Bisping has more defenses than Rockhold mind you.

this is a middling personality

>middling
Sorry, I don't know what that means.

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>if you don't like Bisping then you must like Luke
imagine being this binary

He should have taken his advice and tucked in the chin

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yikes

>Matt Serra
>Michael Bisping
>Rashad Evans
>Uriah Faber
>Forrest Griffin

There is a single title defense between all of these people, and honestly not everyone I just listed has ever even held a title.

These are UFC "Hall of Famers", aka, Dana's friends or people who hang around UFC headquarters as washed up reporters.

Who would you add to the UFC Hall of Fame to give it some much needed legitimacy?

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I stayed up until 4am to watch this, years later I'm still glad I did.

You sound obessed kidda

Which Brit will end their career with the most flushed chin, Toilet Till or Shitsping

Gonna cash out real good on this one

it's a meme anyways, too difficult to establish a specific criteria

Frank Shamrock
>Inaugural UFC Light Heavyweight Champion + Four title defenses
>Undefeated in UFC
>P4P No. 1 ranked fighter in the world during his reign
>King of Pancrase title + 2 defenses
>Inaugural WEC Light Heavyweight Championship + 1 defense
>Inaugural Strikeforce Middleweight Championship
>Only athlete in history to hold titles in every major sports league

I think he fucked Dana's girlfriend though, and Dana is still salty about it

Absolutely based

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i think Bisping still but if Till gets ko'd again by Gastelum he might get there as one of the biggest heemed machines of the ufc

Its pretty easy actually.

2+ title defenses and a TUF win or 3+ title defenses.

If Till gets heem'd by Fatselum will he get cut?

Fresh Tony kino

twitter.com/TonyFergusonXT/status/1166583616807342082

he looks like my uncles exwifes sister. like fucking dead on clone of that bitch. she passed out on the slide in my backyard one night, just showed up drunk as a 9 eyed nigger. my dad and his friends all pumped that bitch till they noticed the green goo out of her cootchie.

she also shit in the backyard. my mom beat the fuck out of her with the broomhandle once the sun was up. bitch was screaming that my mom shoved it up her ass. I highly doubt she could feel anything in her pussy after getting gangfucked while covered in jizz and her own puke and shit. I honestly dont get where the junkie boomers like my dad get off being all high and mighty on morals after the shit I saw them do.

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I seriously hope you made that up
No wonder you post all day scat porn

iktf

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Joe Cuckgan got Doumbe on his shitcast but not Holzken, fuck that cuck

ok

this has to be a pasta

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Benson
>3 title defenses
>Cleaned out the division with wins over Frankie Edgar x2, Nate Diaz, Donald Cerrone x2, Gilbert Melendez, Clay Guida, Jim Miller, Josh Thomsen

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We need homeboy Raymundo to send this over to Ryan Hall

Reminder that Askren talk shit for months straight and got heemed cold for 10 minutes

invented the low low kick

Askren won the story and wins the rematch

>10 minutes

more like 1 minute

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Holy Quints

Askren is a can

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Based BumAskren

>these quints

kek, Askren is finished

Ben wins the fucking rematch, just you watch!

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won't be one

How the fuck did Stipe get knocked out in the first fight with the same shots he was eating in rounds 1 and 2 during their second fight?

benson is a legend

Francis softened up his chin, wasn't regenerated enough

We'll see in time.

Please watch my boy roberto robocop soldic on ksw 50
he will be the most defending welterweight champ in ufc

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Will we ever see tag team matches in the UFC? Perhaps even 3v3 gauntlets where one fighter enters after their team mate gets heemed.

Is there a single fighter more CTE'd than Nick Diaz? God fucking damn. Hurts my brain listening to him. Like bro, how are you even alive right now?

Makes Chuck Liddell sound normal.

youtu.be/jQtMQpDQuWg

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Thats literally how they talk ya goof

i can't tell if hes always drunk or just punch drunk because hes always at bars and clubs

If you don't expect a shot it becomes a real life critical hit for 15x damage multiplier

Nobody expected fat and booshgee to have that kind of power the first time

Is there any science to explain the unseen punch gets the heem principle?

I'd be okay with DC losing if Stipe didn't do that cringe dance after

Let's start gathering data
*sucker punches you

*schmacks lips*
Pshh ayo homie, mnngdat beemmmsayin? Pshh quizzlllnnnndashmbat my range homie. Gnawmsayin mofuggen humbeendashngat. Mmndaghatasbdha. Homie. Ayo, sheghlat nmdjs Colbie. Psshhhh *unintelligible whispering* Come at me bro.

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Something about seeing the shot and tensing up for it/neck muscles

Both DC and Stipe had similar answers

Askren wins the rematch

Why is Nick Diaz's entourage a bunch of onions old fat men?

Why is Nick so chubby?

Is he slowly morphing into Danny Devito?

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>Why is Nick so chubby
hes an alcoholic, i see he's going the LA cholo route

g4p

haha remember the time when Nick fought Conor on short notice and won

or how about when Nate beat Lawler. madness. stockTONE slap ahahaaha been a fan of Diaz bros since Strikeforce and when Nate won ultimate fighter

u thunk im gay muhfugger wha wh why would i be, come here and i show you how i get paid muhfugger wh- wha muhfuggin uh come here ill show you

>H-Help me, Cain!

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Are you wha-what, are you kidding me. Hold on. What. Look at this woman. Are you kidding me? Like, lookit. What’s so funny, bud? Why, like, what are you-pussy, like, what do you think that you’re gonna do, like, someones not gonna slap the fuck outta you, like, what are you talking about? Uhh. Uhh. Its funny, uhh. Eh, eh Ke-eh…Kenny, eh, eh, let me borrow your car. Let me borrow your car, buh. Le-ehehheh. Refemumibuh [sic], Its crazy, I’m li-uh-oh. Eh-ima-eh, uh, why don’t you ask your wife if I can borrow your car, its cool-eh, you know what I’m saying, eh man, talking shit. Th-These guys have eve, they already work, they, they-they work hard they have ev-everything they work for why, like why are you-why are you-er-eh are you. I’m hard at work, bitch. Wh-you know, take care of your family and quit acting like a little-quit acting like you can fight, yea-y-you fu-y-you can’t fight. y-you know-

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Any of you lads own a punching bag or something similar at home? Any reccs?

I've filled a massive canvas mailbag I stole from some posties bike and filled it with

Hes likely getting paid to party with those boomers.

Whomstve are you talmbout?

wtf he looks like a generic spic uncle now

Get as many guys as you can, use them as leverage. If this guy doesn't get a good payday, these other guys won't be fighting either.

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saudi connects. anyone that has been to dubai had dirt collected on them

Who?

When is ufc 4 coming out? I skipped ps4 but I'll get ps5 for ufc 4 and other casual games

>recap henry's 1 minute shitpost with a 30 minute analysis
can anyone deny Chael at this point?
youtube.com/watch?v=TP9eZ8j1DxM

Jon Jones obviously

It's the Alex Valle effecr

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I ain't getting an EA UFC game until they bring back PRIDE mode from Undisputed, legacy fighters (((DLC))) be damned.

youtu.be/iCn14KLCerY

Damn, so this is what the career of the GREATEST MMA FIGHTER IN HISTORY has come to, huh

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In around 6-8 months

>night elf main
not surprised

Pride sucks.

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Post the sinister sounds you'd play for your ufc or bellator entrance song

youtu.be/LcGopdb8Ltw

bjpenn.com is a good website

youtu.be/0Dik2IjKois

youtu.be/LLJJcOVPJ0o
To fight Ngannou

youtu.be/F4hQ4J4BFOM

heeeeeeeeeeeeeey brather, there's an endless strap to rediscover

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youtube.com/watch?v=iidqikPqfOc

youtube.com/watch?v=nBPCaArtW0k

youtu.be/kJa2kwoZ2a4

youtu.be/Cup60p9pii8
Mashallah my brother

youtube.com/watch?v=qkUVToIfrKg

Khabib "The Eagle" Nurmagomedov

This will be Usman on the cover!

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Bet the monkey fighting doorknobs on Zaleski dos Santos.

Max and maybe Nunes.

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Valentina Shevchenko, since everyone is so impressed with her crushing cans.

This is your new cover!

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Can't lie I'd still bash her back doors in

youtu.be/H2LQMElLoLs

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like both of their legacies are tarnished forever and a faint urge to shoot up WMEIMG HQ

Any timetraveler that can spoil me what's going to happen in the future?
Will Conor come back and win the rematch?
Will Till unflush himself?
Will Cejudo beat Valentina and Amanda?

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Valentina is going to beat OFF Cejudo! :^)

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Maybe, maybe not. Hey how bout you come say it to my face...

>ok, dana. Bye.
*Hungs up*
>kamarudeen, my son. Colby and askren only know how to wrestle.
*sighs in relief*
>but masvidal hasnt washed his crotch since the askren fight

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is poosman even good?

Hes a cutbabby. Hes literally toilet till levels of a cutbabby.

>flushes conor down the toilet by not even mentioning him in his post fight interview forcing conor to come clean and try to get back some of the spotlight by admitting on espn he punched an old man

nate is based t b h

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Conor comes back but loses to Pettis adn never fights again
Till delivered my pizza last night
Cejudo ended up a triple champ and Valentina retired shortly after Henry knocked her up
Nunes has not been missing since 2023

Would ancient Greek pancration fighters heem MMA fighters?

Its rough being a hardcore heemster. This place is so dead until its ppv fightweek.

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Conor flushes Tony

Dern get the Strap

Atlantis will be discovered in the Sahara desert

>Watch Rogan
>It's a Joey episode
>Watch Joe
>It's a Schaub episode
>Watch Schaub
>It's a Theo episode
>etc.

This universe is awful.

He's a cutbabby on epo and roids that fought no one
>Demian Maia on short notice who got screwed up by the ref
>Poos Anjos who is like 3 feet shorter than him and was a favourable matchup
>injured Poodley who was filming movies and rapping shitty songs instead of training
>8 decisions out of 10 fights in the ufc
wow

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Conor dies of a heroin overdose late 2021
Till gets heemed by fatstelum and Weidman
He beats them both at the same time, finally cementing himself as the king of minge

>beats the same guy Colby beat a few months before for the interim title
>gets a title shot before Colby

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If you take the cutbabby and Woodley bit out I woulda thought that was Colby

youtu.be/PXr8gbNPkzI
This will get me fans like Colby got fans when he used a wrestlers entrance song so I would learn from the best and follow suit then call Marty Fakenewsmam a bitch in my post fight and fap to miesha nudes in the locker room

masvidal is 2-2 in his last 4 fights
nate thinks he has a belt when in reality he won a fight after a loss 2 years ago
this fight is a money fight. mma fans are the worst.

But DUDE WEED LMAO and 3 piece with a soda?

>my last day of training before the international travel begins. #China and #AbuDhabi here I come

what is the ufc doing

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That's because Nate is riding off the Conor fight.
Masvidal is riding off his 5 second KO against undefeated Ben.

People want to tune in because THUG LIFE WEED 420 BLAZE IT!

This fight is for the ghetto crowd.

Aspen's shirt says "don't be a pussy" but by her own admission she pulled out of a fight because she was menstruating and couldn't cut weight.

You forgot to mention his two wins were against people who are both 0-2 in their last fights

I don't really get the appeal. Jorge is so much more lethal than Nate, he's clearly a badder man. Nate doesn't have the capacity to sleep people the way Jorge can, not even close.

if UFC cut wmma I would buy PPVs

Aspen 3:16 says I just whooped your @$$ Now gimme a hell yeah

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unironically why are they spending money sending her to china and the middle east

because women are the future, b

Uhhh idk maybe to whoop some @$$?

god i wish that was this weekend instead of this literal who card

same, you have to respect a bold move like that

Why is tony sperguson such a useless retard? He could be fighting khapoop right now, if his vagina didn't suddenly feel sore when he was offered max.

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What is Conor's road to redemption?

drowning in his own vomit while OD'd and becoming the great "what could have been" of mma

if he doesn't die promptly, he is bound to be remembered as a mediocrity and a conman

>if he doesn't die promptly, he is bound to be remembered as the great "what could have been" of mma
but what is his road to redemption?

Schaub

I honestly didn't care for his special.

Why was he so unironically racist? He set the asians back by at least 1000 years.

It was a bit bizarre. His admission that he's consciously thinking about the race of his barber and their ability to cut hair is in itself a revealing insight into his broken mind.

where do you guys get your estrogen?

Don't tell the jew

Statistically there's a 97% chance I'm taller than you. It's actually higher than that since you're an American so the average height is less. This compounds further given there's a greater than 30% chance you're hispanic.

where do you get your estrogen?

As an American, your tax dollars fuel a military which allows my nation to relax the defence budget in favour of extremely high standard spublic health care and education and other social services.

Damn poo.s.a btfo

but where do you get your estrogen?

Your tax dollars

I knew you took estrogen

Be honest lads, can Dustin beat Khabib?

no.

Technically yes but he wont

yes

Split Decision victory

I unironically can't comprehend why people think that Khabib is unbeatable when he already lost to Tibau. It's not like he is early 90s Rickson where he submits you sooner or later.

27-0

what are some stories that are being fought this week?

No

R-rekt!

Khabib isn't that good he just is better than all the flushed cans he's fought including but not limited to, real estate agents (raging al), coke heads (Conor), people with aids(Johnson), captive bears (bear cub), and many other despicable cans

There are thousands of can crashers like him who have a similar score. It's says nothing.
True

easily, masvidal solved wrestling, khabib will be too scared to shoot

None of them are undefeated champions in the most stacked division of the most talented MMA promotion on earth

People thought dc was good until he fought Jon. People thought Jon was good until he fought Hammill. They're all fuckin cans

he will

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nick is getting fat

>Kebab getting memed into thinking he can stand and bang
Best timeline.

"Stacked" division is a meme and he never fought anyone decent aside from RDA who crumbles under pressure

/HEEM/ approved boys
> askren
> Diaz
> Tony
> Hardy
>Colby

no

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>I really don't like him so his wins don't count haha I bet you feel pretty dumb right now

You’re not our boy. Go away cazzie

really confused by your use of the space bar, my man

Name his one good win aside from RDA and Al on short notice.

I’m on my phone heading to my wage slave job

Fuck you, that annoying cringe wrestlefaggot got brutally exposed, he was never and will never be /heem/.

All in favor of changing AKA into FBA (Flushed Bum Academy) ?

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That was a fluke askren wins the rematch

He fluked hard, and Ben wins the rematch. Everybody knows this.

Conor Mcgregor. He's beaten literally every guy they've thrown at him and there's no reason to believe that Dustin Poirier or Tony "If I get heemed I win" Ferguson can win

Prime "flush" would heem "gadoosh"

Nate is the man to beat khabib

>I-I-It was a fluke
no, his "win" against Lawler was a fluke.

"Can" heems both and wins the story of the fight.

Askren wins the rematch

this. Dana, make the fight.

Oh okay, you're just baiting.

cope

Connor is a natural 145 who fought two times in 155. How he is a good win? He can't even wrestle
He couldn't make weight half of his fights. Whom did he beat?

>I-It doesn't c-count
cringe

>Conor
>a coked up drunk and a rusty flatfooted irishman whose last win in the octagon was 2 years before his bout with Khabib
>good win

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>It doesn't count IT DOESN'T COUNT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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>H-he b-beat everyone. All the ufc cans he beat are decent fighters and Connor is a legitimate champion and not just a PR campaign
So this is the power of khabibsexuals

Reach is everything in MMA. Lanklets shall reign eternal in UFC. Connor was only good at 145 because of his stupid gorilla arms. He could compete at higher weights because of them but he was never good because he didn't have a huge reach advantage anymore.

Dillashaw wins the rematch

lol

Could dillon benis :D win a fight against Khalabeeb?

Reach plus the power he can generate with his left arm. But yeah.

If you seriously think Khabib not only fought tough fighters, but is undefeated, you are sorely mistaken

reach doesn't matter

Childhood is thinking Khabib is undefeated.
Adulthood is realizing he's never won a single fight.

My reach is whatever the distance to your chin is

100% Nunes

name 1 good khabib win

across the pond

#Padded
#Record

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And my chin is at whatever your reach is +1 inch.

Khabib will never win and never has. He worships a false idol.

After Bj flushes Lentz they need to make Penn vs Khabib

everyone sleeping on Jan

I hope Jon does give him a title shot... he's already heem'ed everyone else and I'm sure Thiago still needs time to recover.

Sucks for Thiago, I can't imagine he'll be ready in less than a year

Tony did it

New thread in moments

thiago doesn't have the chip

I thought Tony only had an acl tear, Thiago pretty muc doesn't have a knee

...

Who? The one who got 4th spot because he beat a blown up skateborder?

Valentina.

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I have this as my phone background

dunnae coun mate

>Watching any of those faggots then complaining about it

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because GSP was shitting his fucking brains out the morning of the fight

Yes. The only reason yaquinta didnt knock out khabum is because he was 20 pounds+ smaller than him.