/cric/

>regard asians and africans as somewhat subhuman, just feel like there isn't as much going on in the personality or brain department for either
want to say this is respectively, asians are obviously smart

I for one am happy the series is alive
sure i almost through the remotat at tv when Harris dropped that catch and woke the neighbors when Lyon fucked up that runout
but at least its exciting that the series is still alive with 2 more tests left...right lads?

you know what, I was hyped up until the last few days and now I'm not sure if I can be bothered any more

genuinely fell off my chair when lyon ruined everything just didn't know what to do

no I would have preferred the series to be over so I don't have to watcfh this team of feckless cunts any more

grim

any aussie players with this sort of heart?

Attached: obliterator of oceania.jpg (595x396, 25K)

Peter Siddle mate

Imagine if you will that both upcoming test matches are completely rained out and >we retain the ashes. How seething will Englel be coming off the back of this win.

love how big brained stokes turned the australian cowards into complete mental midgets, so-called "no. 1 test bowler" Pat Cummins literally hid into his hidey shell and started bowling standard australian lengths which are docile and unthreatening in England

they were literally psychologically cooked out there

are we going to get punished siddle in the fourth test? a man denied his bananas

seem to remember england actually being all out

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GOAT answer.

Attached: 1566059991184.jpg (500x425, 69K)

Imagine being a homosexual english cricket fan right now, talk about mixed emotions.

kek

stokes was cleared of all charges

well I still hate this england team and hope they lose the ashes

Can't fault our bowlers mate, it's the batsmen's fault for allowing you to start your innings on a docile Day 3 pitch on a beautiful bright sunny morning.

Tim Prainlet.

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J Patto out
P siddo In

yeh mate, he will be seething

Mitchell Starc turned into an absolute beast when Brendon McCullum decided to challenge his ego by trying to put him under pressure in a test match once - started bowling 160kmph, produced edges that flew so fast no one could catch them, and even broke his bat.

need starc just to clean up the tail

it would be literally poetry if australians went from seething to seeding (the clouds)

Need Starc just to chip in and make some runs

im going to wait a few weeks to start playing, dont want to be racing people and dealing with a shitty ah t b h
want to wait till the hypes gone and its normalised

How does an Australian turn red in the English summer? Its always poms who get mocked for getting sunburned.

speed gun was off in that test, wasn't going close to 160 kph
boult and southee were getting clocked at 150 kph which they never bowl

Will Smith be psychologically cooked against the short ball now? What happens if Archer clonks him again. Will her Majesty the queen be forced to intervene?

Is that the state of gaming today
people flocking to play a game thats what? 15 years old?

cricket is centuries old mate

It's not sunburn, it's pure seethe coming out of his pores

probably got lulled into thinking you can't get burnt in england because it's cooler

it's why the kiwis have higher rates of cancer than us

what if that blow to the head cured his autism and he loses his powers?

No, did you forget that he went back out after he was hit and kept slogging like a champ? I bet he's just fuming that he had to sit this last match out.

>he went back out after he was hit and kept slogging like a champ
He was literally quaddrospazzed into a le 3 runs and out man.

games are pretty bad these days it doesn't surprise me

>Harris dropped catch
>Lyon fumble
>Paines reviews
>this thread

The absolute state of aussies

ben stokes was out.

How quickly you pommies forget, Ben Stokes learned everything he knows from those couple overs he bowled to Jimmy "the finisher" Faulkner.

Attached: THE FINISHER.jpg (650x366, 33K)

why didn't ben stokes walk?

i blame the bats

batsman has no right to get a six off a top edge or the toe of the bat

Better use a pooview then.
OH NO

the coward joe root had his claws in him

genuinely thought the seethe couldnt get any more delicious after the WC final but here we are

Attached: 1559485041045.png (2518x1156, 382K)

how much does it cost to buy joel wilson out for?

Nah there was no bribe, he just hates gays too.

For me it's carrot cake

has anyone got the virgin bairstow vs chad buttler one?

anyone got the sunburned english pepe from the wc

anyone got highlights of australia winning the 3rd test at headingley

>bowl a team out for 67
>lose

Attached: 1550170901411.jpg (455x425, 21K)

anyone got a reason to live that they're not using atm

ritchie valens was only 17 years old when he died in that plane crash, i knew buddy holly was young too but what the fuck

67
7

almost finished editing my new song on my youtube channel mate, pretty excited to get it out there

67 was a competitive total as the match proved

67 was the perfect amount of runs
joe root is a genius

>crying about something that happened 60 years ago
why

>get bowled out for 85
>Win
>Get bowled out for 67
>Win

What kind of 3d chess are England playing these days

link to youtube channel?

>bowl a team out for 67
>get 300 run lead
>"Oh it's ok, historically teams almost never chase 300+"
>give it a whack
>get all out for 360
>"Wait a minute.... those historical run chases.... they were all on late Day 4 and 5 pitches weren't they?"
>"Wait a minute.... isn't Day 3 one of the best days for batting?"
>"Oh well..... England will just collapse again anyway...."
>......

Attached: e622676f95aeeb726f0356ee4212cd98.jpg (1024x576, 36K)

youtube.com/channel/UC3lTeFJZqmHhKUWyDO1UQqg

oh it happens mate

Not trying to be a cunt or anything mate but that's pretty much the gayest music I've ever heard.

blame smoth and warner for being cheats, dont blame paine for coming in to clean up their poomunity

>crying
i just thought it was fascinating, what a talent

Windies chased over 300 at Headingley a couple of years ago too and only lost 5 wickets.

Does it?

Attached: paine looms.png (788x527, 913K)

Kind of wholesome, glad it makes you happy desu.

Pretty dire if I'm perfectly honest mate. But I admire you for doing it and I'm sure your mother is proud.

Not gunna blame them after they got jewed by the ICC over Rabada, still not the right way to respond but I can see why they had no faith in the rules anymore.

yeh all good mate, its just a hobby

well it just did

thanks lads

I'm not saying it's badly done or anything, it's definitely listenable, but it's fucking gay mate.

there's nothing wrong with being gay

He really needs to lose the neckbeard.

Think my favourite part of this channel is that you created a playlist with the same Xena Warrior Princess video in it twice.

I dunno mate, there's something a bit gay about it if you ask me.

fair

All this talk of gays reminds of this aussie classic
youtube.com/watch?v=8PfDro1UGUo

do you only write one song a year?

ive written plenty of songs
but recording and editing takes me a lot of time

hopefully i can get 2 more on my channel by the years end

Was blasting out "Girl I'm Waiting For You" and I realised my window is wide open. I'm going to make you a massive hit in Edinburgh mate.

Keep up the good work champ, I make music myself but I've never been able to muster up the effort to properly record and edit a full song together.

I'm not sebbo

daniel on suicide watch

i wont forget the lads at /cric/ when i make it big mate

thanks mate

What does this even mean.

mitchell
bruce
darren
shane
cameron

any other quintessential aussie names?

Jacko

Nathan

OoooooooooooOooooo natey natey that one was niiiiiiiiiCcceee oooHhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhh

Jaidyn
Travis
Brodie
Darcy
Brayden
Steele
Dayne
Tarkyn
Brenton

All of these names from Collingwood's first team and coaching staff alone.

grim

for me it's american names because gen X suddenly decided normal names were boring so millenials and zoomers have balls on retarded names

Glamorgan doing alright lads hmmmm

I know it's a meme but, there really is no one better than Bob Dylan desu

Big fan of Danza Collings

added to my spotify playlist

watching headingley 1981 highlights to decide which was more impressive

Xi

I don't watch anything made before the year 2000.

Australia got zero sixes in the two innings and Ben Stokes got 8

Yeah, we're cooked.

Thanks for the information

wanted to make sure he had boundaries scored in his favour in case it went to a super over

Apart from being autistic to not fuck women, then there's something really wrong. Good thing you won't reproduce and die alone with a pozzed out cunt

Gays and sport like Croc don't belong, sport is tradition.

this one?

Attached: IMG_2833.jpg (760x752, 114K)

Yeah nah you've definitely seen toy story

yikes there's nothing wrong with a nice meaty rod mate, reckon this is projection

thats da one :D

whys the sunburn backwards

because a mong made it

no idea fren

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parmi and pint

Because your builders and such spend all day in their vests in the UK and get tanned on their arms and head but then on holiday they go shirtless and their torso isn't prepared for it

can think of plenty

based.

Attached: 1563139187845.webm (852x480, 2.84M)

based retard with no concept of sun

Strong mind alpha Chad kino Ben

youtube.com/watch?v=wWlmmKzkk00

my music career peaked with this Tbh

It's no "Girl I'm Waiting for You"

Wouldn't want to be from Oceania this summer

IN MY EYES
INDISPOSED

kafkaesque series shaping up here

remembering that grim few years where those three ugly cunts from workaholics were famous

miss the top gun meme though

Just watched the highlights again. For me, its the guy in the Nils Lofgren shirt

good book on the history of how cricket developed?
an ex-pm here wrote one but i was wondering if an actual historian wrote anything

Based sebbo

The Unquiet Ones and The Corner of a Foreign Field are good for Pakistan and India specifically

Attached: MifsUYU.jpg (609x488, 42K)

how far back do they go? i'd check them out if they explore any similar precursors to bat and ball games in the subcontinent, but i was more looking at how cricket developed long before it was codified

not far, they're more about the culture and how cricket has shaped the subcontinent. Tbh I haven't read any proper history books on cricket, I mostly like the ones where cricket is used to frame other stuff. Beyond a Boundary is my favourite of that regard

i guess i'll just get this book then. going to be the second book by john major, the first being his secret diary serialized in private eye

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nottinghill carnival is the worst place on earth

why are they wearing those funny hats?

And God Created Cricket by Simon Hughes starts in 1300 and goes era by era.

I've only read wikipedia stuff on it, hard to imagine cricket being more like a game of hockey until round arm bowling was allowed in the early 1800s

this looks much more the ticket. many thanks.

been there 3 times and seen someone stabbed twice

t. sits in the kitchen on his own at parties
All day drinking and smoking, great music and food and hot black girls with nothing much on. What's not to like?

Do random dumbcunts run around literally spraying people with psychadelics or is that more of an Australian thing?

not see that unless its some zoomer thing, this is mostly people shotting nos and weed fighting over the small area there is to sell

Happens every year here at falls. Absolute mongs make up a solution of acid or some other psychadelic in a spray bottle and spray it in random peoples faces to give them a fucked trip. It's absolutely munted

weed is illegal, why do the police not just arrest like 50% of the people at the carnival lol

I've been twice and didn't enjoy it either time. Too many people go so I spent roughly 90% of my time shuffling through a crowd who were similarly trying to shuffle along without actually seeing anything of note. Street parties as a whole are generally a bit shit, people try way too hard to compensate for the fact nothing fun is actually happening. I'd much rather have a French or German style carnival with grand marching bands and traditional costumes, and well designed floats instead of some random guy blaring out drum and bass from the back of a lorry.

quite genuinely hate going outside lads

>shotting nos
Is it possible for a drug to be less cool than nangs? Really don't get the appeal

me too 2bh, I'm a complete shut-in despite having a full time professional job and otherwise appearing quite normal

I'd Ben Stokes them for that

You can buy a box of like 20 cream chargers from Wilkos for about £5 so the kids love it

it cheap and legal not much else to it

Not half bad lad. Better than anything Ive ever made. Piano needs some more compression maybe, help it sit better in the mix?

Worst thing is finding a place to piss after you been boozing.

do those people get their skulls caved in?

Chads wear adult diapers.

Probably occasionally, but it usually happens too quick for the victim to even know what hit them. And of the course the cowards bolt as soon as theyve sprayed.

>my feet hurt
>why am I shuffling while everyone else is dancing
>this reggae is too loud
>I wish I was at a French or German style carnival with grand marching bands and traditional costumes instead of a Carribean carnival with sound systems and traditional costumes

at least warner had the sense to dispense with his effort

The coward Joe Root spraying Tim Paine with brainlet gas.

same chair
i otherwise only go out to go shopping, see family, and rarest of all see a friend
even the commute to/from work just reminds me without fail how much i hate being outside and seeing strangers

Nobody is actually dancing though because there's no room to move. All you can do is be carried along by the crowd and hope you see at least 1 thing that's cool. It's the same problem for every free event in London. Chinese New Year, New Years Eve, Winter Wonderland, anything free gets ruined by the amount of people turning up and inevitably the whole thing ends in tears because people can't enjoy themselves responsibly and somebody gets stabbed or huge fights break out. So glad I'm moving out of London in a few weeks.

kek

Lovely pleasant sebbo

This year I'm staying in on New Years Eve.

Easily the most overrated event in human history.

whats wrong with the irish dude

There's just too much pressure

based sebbo

Based sebbo

going to be in Rome this new year's eager to escape the bullshit

trying to come up with a name for tim paine but nothing quite matches the coward joe root

tim 'the braine' paine

if tim paine had a brain he'd be called tim brain

considering a change in diet because wiping and flushing takes forever lads :(

tim darsh

tim "utter" paine

me too because just now i blocked the toilet with a massive Nathan Lyon's fielding skills

i need a change in diet because i have become a fat cunt and I am nearly 30 so time is running out to arrest the slide

took a good look at myself in the mirror and didn't much care for what I saw

It's not your fault mate. It's known that fast food companies send out brain manipulation signals to your brain and make you buy the food. It's not fair

What's with all the hate for root and Paine? Both are amazing captains. Regular people IRL don't hate on them

bit of a grim time on a toilet just now. literally half an hour and the shit was spread on the porcelain underwater. then the toilet brush unscrewed in the toilet and I had to fish it out of brown water.

not as grim as TIM FUCKING PAINE though.

smells fat in here

timid braine

Bottle job

was going to have a beer before bed but I reckon I'll give it a miss hey lads

Drink it right now

I eat a bowl of oats every morning and plenty of vegetables for dinner, and my shits are perfect every time. Slides out easily, and my arsehole is so clean one or two wipes are all that is required

Would eat healthy but healthy food is just so fucking boring

Imagine voluntarily eating rice or pasta or something, grim grim GRIM

eating healthy is easy and if you cant cook good shit with good for you stuff you're retarded

making soups and stews is the easiest shit in the world, its all I do all winter. Using mostly veg and meat maybe throw some rice or noodles in there if Im feeling like a cunt.

Yeah but you're also living like a horse and that's no way to live mate.

gallop on out of here you weirdo

i too love to make soups, especially in the slow cooker

>Imagine voluntarily eating rice or pasta or something, grim grim GRIM

rice and pasta is considered healthy? what do you even consider unhealthy mate..

Do horses fuck your mum every night?

it tastes better the more you have of it

makes me fume when I see fat council house scum talking about food poverty for their children, would bet my life they eat takeaways 5 nights a week, smoke 20 fags a day and get drunk every weekend then wonder why there's no money left for anything else

don't get how people can live off takeaways

they're so fucking expensive here

It's not just takeaways. There's also Iceland. I fucking hate the British working class

unironically think siddle has been treated poorly by >you and he would have taken 400 test wickets as 1st change to broad and anderson for >us

for me its having a takeaway no more than 10 times a year. used to be twice or so a year but i earn money now. still takeaways a such a costly expense compared to cooking for yourself i'd feel stupid for ordering more often than i currently do - usually when payday is in.

Based Mo'

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I don't consider people who are unable to speak clear English as fully human

It's just something subconscious I can't help it, I just see them as some sort of animal, unable to be communicated with verbally

>People with miserable lives and no prospects seek instant gratification and make poor choices
What a shocker.

Oats are a grain just like rice and the wheats used to make pasta. Instead of rice or pasta substitute in oats with your main meal. I get the overwhelming majority of my complex carbs from oats now. Ill eat oats for breakfast with some eggs and for dinner ill eat oats or swede/squash/sweet potatos. Best way to live mate.

'ate pasta
'ate rice
'ate potatos

youtube.com/watch?v=09vVF-Hvykg

unfrevartited

>People with miserable lives and no prospects seek instant gratification and make poor choices
Your sentence is back to front. People who seek instant gratification make poor choices and lead miserable lives.

t. tarquin IV

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I DON'T LIKE CRIKET

Is this the epic meme where you demonise the flavour of the month villain macro-nutrient?

I LUV IT

You know the internet has plenty of ESLs right.

I'm probably being a dick but I don't know how people get themselves into such a bad state of affairs. Even if you start from the bottom in retail for example it won't be long until you get bumped up to team leader or supervisor who make a decent wage.

Lazy people encourage those around them to be lazy.

Wish more people would type the way their accent sounds

Team leader in those jobs isnt fucking good you know and above that theres little opportunity to move up. Also have to take into account peoples personalities. Some people like many of us on Yea Forums just dont have the personality that makes ascending those ladders easy.

This is why I really just can't appreciate his two innings as much as I should. The bat deflection was bullshit and he was out lbw vs Aus.

But man if it was an australian who did this I would be swimming in the seethe.

butthurt

How would a team of 11 all rounders do?

OH NO

you've solved cricket, congratulations

Reckon they'd be decent but not great

Well that's also true but there is a vicious cycle and people who are born into deprivation are highly unlikely to develop into the sort of person who's capable of 'making it'.

>Even if you start from the bottom in retail for example it won't be long until you get bumped up to team leader or supervisor
Except there will always be far more grunts than supervisors, even in a perfect society where everyone gets an equal start. Only a minority will ever have the intelligence or nous to climb the ladder, does that mean the rest deserve to have shit lives? People who have those skills tend to take them for granted like says.

yes my man. good stuff

Just sounds like excuses, of course if you're going to be pessimistic and anti-social you'll get nowhere. The universe helps those who help themselves.

PAY YOUR TV LICENCE.

youtube.com/watch?v=1Q9CsRRhWQI

Nobody in Britain is 'born into deprivation'. The poorest person here still has free healthcare, housing, education.
But all memes aside, as a society we just haven't worked out what to do with the people in developed countries who aren't smart enough to take part in a developed skills and knowledge based economy, when globalisation has moved all the low skill jobs overseas. And the same limitations which prevent that section of society taking part also prevent them from any effective political lobbying to change anything.
Imagine the global clusterfuck in store once all those low skills jobs currently in China and India get outsourced to robots on Mars or something

It is pessimistic but it doesnt mean it is true. People just generally dont like the idea of a) people trying to excuse themselves of incompetence regardless of whether the excuse is true or not [a purely social thing] b) people dont like the idea of free will being constrained.

However we are all hypocrits. Whereas with personality traits like working hard or being a dickhead we dont accept that these are difficult traits to change and often explicitely ask people to just will themselves out of their vices, somethings like intelligence or certain skills everyone accepts that some people are just better than others and changing that is difficult or impossible.

Why do we allow pessimism for things like intelligence but not other aspects of ones life?

Missing cricket.

>as a society we just haven't worked out what to do with the people in developed countries who aren't smart enough to take part in a developed skills and knowledge based economy,
The state puts them on welfare and gives them money to spend. They are at least consumers for the rest of us working to sell things.
It's hardly a living from my pov but they have a "role".

And people that help themselves probably on average have a personality more adept at helping itself. Also, survivor bias.

born into relative deprivation then

Be honest, when did you work out they weren't real?

You mean this isn't accurate?
m.youtube.com/watch?v=8NmdUcmLFkw

They are real, they just use cameras with large lenses to look through your window.

Get a job on the railway, very decent pay from the get go, strong unions, huge scope for training and promotion from within. There's so many jobs in the industry most people don't even know exist such as working in a railyard, a newly qualified shunt driver is on £37k a year.

Ultimate_n012

grim stuff

I graduated uni, started a shitty bottom of the chain job. earning 30K a year within 2 years, will be earning 50K within next 3-4 years so im an advocate of this strategy. my boss earns 100K having barely passed his GCSE's, he's 27

You dont work in a glassblowing workshop do you? Do you happen to produce jars per chance?

I like my job, I just wish the hours were shorter. I'd go for a 4 day work week in a heartbeat.

I'm 33 and I've been thinking about a career change into trains. A decorators life is getting boring i'll admit.

My job has to be 5 days at least but in terms of hours I could easily be on flexible hours. By 2pm I'm usually just reading about random stuff until its time to go home.

DOIN UP THE OUSE

BASADO sebbo

whats with you guys and tv loicenses, when and why did it all start?

I'm kinda the opposite where in the mornings I'm not that productive but if I just come in late I get straight to it. We have core hours to make sure people are there at the same time which limits flexibility and now they've started tracking exactly when we are there which is shite.

Not sure I'd take the paycut moving to less hours but I'd get the same amount done I reckon.

It's only Americans who are incredulous with this. Other countries have worse systems (e.g. a unavoidable tax) or even have TV licences themselves.

nope, a customer service based role, big chain. there's a point where the money just gets stupid, the bonuses for hitting sales targets (for the whole location) are mad so you get rewarded for having a strong team rather than being great yourself neccesarily. plus I get free shares in a multibillion pound company, worth 5% of my wage.

do indians not have tax funded broadcasters?

For a long time in India you needed to fill out a bunch of forms even to own a set

please play our sport

>tax funded broadcasters
yes we do but not required loicense for that

toil on the morrow

grim, but i know that feel.

Just wanna keep watching the world semi, final and headingley day 4 highlights until I get bored to the back teeth of cricket

Might be a while

For me, it's imagining what an office XI made up of my co-workers would look like

just shat all over the american posting about baseball using only a youtube link

suicide is a reasonable alternative to toiling for fifty years

>world semi
Underrated due to all the later excitement.

the fattest lad in the office will be a surprise easy half-century waiting in the wings

Michael Vaughan telling it how it is

Who's the best /cric/ personality

all personalities are cancer

definitely me imo

reckon sport should be made illegal

>wake up
>we won

holy mother of based

well done m8

>Yeah mate gonna end some careers

Attached: 1566783937186.jpg (920x518, 130K)

this is art

literally a list of reasons why the australian team can just blame themselves instead of "hurr they cheated"

Archer deserves a ton of credit that he won't get for not being complete dogshit at batting.

It's a real shame the top of the order is underperforming so much - Roy in particular is just embarrassing.

You are a paedophile, you are a nonce, you're a perv, you're a slot badger, you're a two pin DIN plug, you're a bush dodger, you're a small bean regarder, you're a unabummer, you're a nut administrator, you're a bent ref, you're the crazy world of Arthur Brown, you're a fence foal, you're a free willy, you're a chimney bottler, you're a bunty man, you're a shrub rocketeer.

Because the lad was wearing a thin vest, did his arms neck and face and forgot about the rest of his body, rookie error especially if ginger.

English /cric/ is truly the worst

You are a paedophile, you are a nonce, you're a perv, you're a slot badger, you're a two pin DIN plug, you're a bush dodger, you're a small bean regarder, you're a unabummer, you're a nut administrator, you're a bent ref, you're the crazy world of Arthur Brown, you're a fence foal, you're a free willy, you're a chimney bottler, you're a bunty man, you're a shrub rocketeer.

youtube.com/watch?v=8CvqmD0CZao

find bank holiday weekends truly depressing, we're meant to treat it like a reward when it's really just toilberg rubbing our faces in it. we shouldn't work any more than 4 days a week anyway

Based fucking wogball fans lads

I don't mind them now the shops are open all day rather than operating Sunday hours. Feels like a proper day off.

They're a bang average odi side (even with Smith) but it felt so good to dick them like that

i worked overtime and got double pay today

noice.

I think it's time for a

>Based sebbo

Based sebbo

it was pretty depressing for me because i spent it alone with the curtains drawn smoking weed

whyd you do that user

*bowls a chinaman at you*

because I hate life and myself

Attached: ab.jpg (640x480, 20K)

racist. Here's the PC version:
*bowls a Chinese man at you*

is it racist now to use oriental when referring to those slant-eyed insectoids over in the far east

only if you're a paki

Not the correct nomenclature. Try 'left arm wrist spinner'

Attached: ECA1lPdXUAA4AIN.jpg (1200x1600, 194K)

No.

It has literally the same blanket meaning "Asia" does, where the term could mean anyone from Saudi Arabia to India to Japan, but some people will scream at you for using "oriental".

Really hope boko haram will be supportive of Nigeria rising

Personally I'd treat Peter Dinklage. It should not take much food to satisfy him and make his belly full him given his size. I would delight at the prospect of treating him and serve him a plate of delicious char siu meat, with rich, sticky sauce, perfect pancakes, refreshing drinks... go all out. Give that lovely man a banquet. Watch him greedily devour the meat. His lips, teeth, and fingers sticky with the sauce as he throws manners and decorum out of the window in a mad rush to satiate himself. Then, when he's satisfied and feels thing can't be any better, I shall reveal he has not been feasting on char siu mediocre pork but... char siu kobe beef. Yes, I will have ensured Peter Dinklage greedily gobbled up the flesh of the best meat on the market after lowering his expectations initially. As the tears of joy well up in his eyes and he refuses to believe I went all out, I shall let out a truly merry, comforting laugh and upend the contents of a box I'll have near me; packacing and recipts of the kobe beef I purchased. Though the packaging and recipts will be scrunched up, faded, and a little dirty, it will be evidence of how much I wanted to give Dinklage a good meal. That is what I would do to that little gentleman. The louder he laughs and more thanks me in pure euphoria, the louder and more merry my laughter of appreciation will become. Hell, it may just kill me because I'll be struggling to breath as I'll be laughing and thanking him so hard. I will then show the 24 minute 7 seconds footage of me purchasing the kobe beef and having a funny encounter with the butcher, which we will laugh over. This is the fate that awaits you, you wonderful, beautiful little man. Also... FUCK Warwick Davis. I'd starve him instead and feed him char siu Harrison Davis instead.

not racist, just don't like 'em. simple as.

this should help you though lads.

Attached: simple as.jpg (1425x625, 186K)

dago mediterranean cunts not listed

is cricket halal or haram?

Imagine celebrating false victories

Taliban were pro cricket so you'd have to say halal based on the evidence so far

going to bed
>TOIL ON THE MORROW
GRIM grim fucking grim

doing a huge english top order lads

wtf i love osama now.

for GCHQ: the above text is meant in the context of the taliban being pro cricket, i aimed to use the backdrop of the horrific actions of the taliban for comedic purposes to both shock the reader and to accentuate beyond hyperbole my own love for cricket. I, in no way endorse or support the actions of the taliban in any context.

thank you.

Your clarification has been noted citizen.

Just took a massive Jos Buttler lads

had a proper messy Jonny Bairstow's attitude earlier

just took a massive Josh hazlewood lads

just took took a massive new Zealand cricket lads

thinking of going to bed, might go take a jason roy's shot selection before i do though.

they had loads of loos this time round

just took a massive Mitchell santner lads

got a new gimmick idea, might have been done before though and it touches on another gimmick that is clearly close to our hearts so i'm a bit nervous about pitching it, do you think i should do it? i hope you don't bully me if it doesn't go down well.

About to take a greasy England's spin bowling options between Underwood and Panesar

just did a huge Blaise hoeftmann lads

I'm excited, user. Please share it

Post it now, then go to bed, check the archive in the morning. That's what I do, so much less stressful than live updates

No one is going to be asking for streams for a while. Not sure my bladder can take it

just eaked out a sizeable burns's technique against the short ball lads

well the basic premise is that of the "just took a [something bad in cricket]" to mean having a poo. however i propose we flip the gimmick on it's head. going with a "just cracked out a [something good in cricket]" as a euphemism for having a wank. not sure if it will go down well but it's worth a shot.

just did a massive Joe root's leg side game lads

terrible

we already have vitality blast for that, as in 'quick vitality blast before bed'

sorry

Weirdly sensitive for Warne, isn't it?

Attached: warne.png (621x501, 64K)

just pushed out a huge steamy moeen ali lads

not really like him, wonder if there's more to this

shane warne looks like a raging homosexual
so unfcomfortable with his aging just makes everybody else miserable about it too

warne and mcgrath are still seething, ponting was great all through the commentary, is it a bowler/batter thing with the aussies as to who seeth's and who doesn't?

Probably sick of England consistently taking false victories with umpire assistance

I love that it was Lyon who missed the run out. I hope that it ends his career.

I'm sick of you consistently falsely taking young boys virginitys, kiwi nonce

Oooooh, salty. Just what I like.

not sure if we can go for this one, a bit dicey in the race department.

business idea: make a cricket video game that isn't completely shit

I'd sort of see this still-upset Kiwi read of it if he was talking about the LBW - but not Lyon's fumble.

youtube.com/watch?v=EV4VMCI9jSI

Englishmen, australians, Indians, facists, antifa
They all agree on one thing , kiwis are nonces

youtube.com/watch?v=6SVpiV1mwkw

where would we be without india, lads

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>England 3/31
Such accuracy for an old game

Who here not sebbo and got prove so?

Jimmy Anderson will no doubt be back for next two tests and we are losing this whole thing

Steve smith will no doubt be back for next two tests and we are losing this whole thing

Just got nicked by the TV licence goons lads.

Hahahaha good

youtube.com/watch?v=MZuOsJADXek

For me, it's Smith getting out cheaply the rest of the series due to short ball nightmares, while Jimmy bowls like shit having rushed back from injury

Stokes should have walked cheating cunt

Play to the rules.

I think we should review all available historic footage of cricket, and and batsman who didn't walk when out should be publically executed with a cricket bat by Dickie Bird himself. Any dead players who didn't walk should have their bodies exhumed and raped.

Attached: bird_2096741a[1].jpg (546x342, 34K)

just found out from an article that tim southee averages 25 in the subcontinent
pretty elite actually

tim saudi

His highest score was in his debut match. So objectively his whole career has been downhill since then

wtf...........!

Attached: m-muh lbw.png (681x217, 9K)

Based. Gonna try this game

obviously meant his bowling average you daft cunt

Based sebbo

only people i've seen complaining are pajeets so there's no point, england lives rent free in their head no matter what

Seething.

twitter.com/jonathanliew/status/1166106927266484224?s=20

>oh aggers, do stop it

The disgusting nonce pedo alchy b.

>nonce zealand
>calling GODdy G a nonce

You are a paedophile, you are a nonce, you're a perv, you're a slot badger, you're a two pin DIN plug, you're a bush dodger, you're a small bean regarder, you're a unabummer, you're a nut administrator, you're a bent ref, you're the crazy world of Arthur Brown, you're a fence foal, you're a free willy, you're a chimney bottler, you're a bunty man, you're a shrub rocketeer.

And you're zach bowen.

Lyon is basically Warne's replacement, like a fucking diet version of him. No surprise that he takes moments like these quite personally.

This is the same bloke who suggested Aggers was racist a few months ago, and Aggers sent him a bunch of DMs calling him a cunt.
independent.co.uk/news/media/jonathan-agnew-bbc-cricket-twitter-messages-5-live-jonathan-liew-a8913656.html
He's fucking obsessed.

youtube.com/watch?v=tYrue4oXCbo

and he's hit it for 6..!

Attached: surgeon.png (624x438, 36K)

Weird reading the replies to this and the other tweet. If he's found guilty of being actually racist then he'll lose his job(s) so he's rightfully defending himself, only for people to tell him to grow up and keep it off Twitter. Mad.

sports journalists are arguably lower than gaming journalists

warne has been doing a fair amount of sucking stokes dick tbf

Why are journalists always such cunts? Trying to claim that everyone is making fun of Leach is retarded and I bet what he "heard" he just made up on the spot.

Based Sebbo B

twitter verified, need we say any more, I hope that fucking cunt feels ashamed of his spineless existence.

Attached: fuck off cunt.jpg (980x530, 68K)

there can be only one Jonathan

Aggers. You are the face of BBC Radio 5 live. Please observe BBC editorial guidelines and keep your racial views, whatever they are and whatever the subject, to yourself.

I’d be sacked if I followed your example. Thanks.

This is what passes for journalism in 2019. Holy fuck. independent.co.uk/sport/cricket/england-cricket-world-cup-squad-jofra-archer-a8887246.html

to think that talking shite about sport is salary worthy you have to be a cunt

>He’s one of the most exciting young cricketers in the world in any format: a hair-raising, seat-wetting, popcorn-hurling Hollywood blockbuster of a player.
I'm now 99% sure that Jonathan Liew wants to watch Archer fuck his missus.

OH EM GEE I LOVE CRICKET

Attached: 1337A2F2-6396-4681-989D-4515D0CE3C57.png (540x581, 71K)

>look everybody it's that English guy who keeps celebrating English "victories" gifted to them by umpires
>eww gross he's balding

Attached: images-2.jpg (729x420, 27K)

He's just a race baiting little cunt and I hope he slips up one day and gets fucking fired with no hope of re-employment in journalism.

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>banter element
get a load of this faggot

independent is a left wing rag, most of its stories are just clickbait

Ah yes I too was jolted by that comment.

Attached: Screenshot_20190827-002343__01.jpg (1080x1192, 257K)

86.2 kg today

based sally

is twitter and social media the answer to the fermi paradox?

He likely asked her because she's a woman far more than because she's a black. What would fucking Boycott even have to say about it?

"Surprised there isn't a bone in there, Agnew"

telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/10483831/My-quest-to-become-a-Countdown-champ.html

Look at this veign little faggot thinking he's hot shit in fucking countdown.

Attached: Screenshot_20190827-003324__01.jpg (1080x1576, 194K)

iis even acknowledging that black culture is a thing beyond the pale now?

Now people are having a go at Aggers saying the woman in question - who he knew - was from Bombay. Which she would've been, even if it is called Mumbai now.
They're just determined to get him ouuuuuuut.

It's very relevant that he's a Chinaman because this means the supposed quote from Aggers wouldn't have made any sense whatsoever

It's the Asian/Asian thing again isn't it, always causing problems.

TMS is already a shadow of its former self with aggers pretty much propping the whole edifice up.

/cric/ is disgustingly racist don't know why I still read some of this shit.

Lads how do we get Jonathan Liew out?

Attached: p04st590.jpg (976x549, 62K)

what's the preferred nomenclature to differentiate between chinks and wogs these days anyway, is there one?

>veign

I dunno how you'd address the yellows as a whole. Even the term Oriental is offensive nowadays.

Boss, Mr Landlord, or simply our name works

I actually hate fucking yellow asians. Little small-dick cunts.

Im a boomer so im confused. Isnt this correct way to call someone chinese/japanese people?
The world is changing so much. I cant keep up with what is acceptable. Im going to be considered a silly old racist at 40 if i live that long

>looking at asian men's penises

what the fuck are you? a nonce?

The idea of "oriental" being offensive is an americanism.

>half a jar of red pesto
Fucking pleb. All good cooks know a proper spag bol is a meat based dish with tomatoes. Not a tomato based dish. He probably doesnt even use the holy trinity. Using gravy granules as a thickner when you can just use a roux or something means hes retarded. How has he made it so far up the ladder?

I was walkin' down the street
Concentratin' on truckin' right
I heard a dark voice beside of me
And I looked round in a state of fright
I saw four faces one mad
A brother from the gutter
They looked me up and down a bit
And turned to each other
I say
I don't like cricket oh no
I love it
I don't like cricket no no
I love it
Don't you walk thru my words
You got to show some respect
Don't you walk thru my words
'Cause you ain't heard me out yet
Well he looked down at my silver chain
He said I'll give you one dollar
I said You've got to be jokin' man
It was a present from me Mother
He said I like it I want it
I'll take it off your hands
And you'll be sorry you crossed me
You'd better understand that you're alone
A long way from home
And I say
I don't like reggae no no
I love it
I don't like reggae oh no
I love it
Don't you cramp me style
Don't you queer me pitch
Don't you walk thru my words
'Cause you ain't heard me out yet
I hurried back to the swimming pool
Sinkin' pina colada
I heard a dark voice beside me say
Would you like something harder
She said I've got it you want it
My harvest is the best
And if you try it you'll like it
And wallow in a dreadlock holiday
And I say
Don't like Jamaica oh no
I love her
Don't like Jamaica oh no
I love her oh yea
Don't you walk through her words
You got to show some respect
Don't you walk thru her words
'Cause you ain't heard her out yet
I don't like cricket oh no
I love it (Dreadlock holiday)
I don't like reggae oh no
I love it (Dreadlock holiday)
I don't like Jamaica oh no
I love her (Dreadlock holiday)

Well its certainly a bit more acceptable than calling them slant-eyed insectoids.

Ok so when are England handing the ashes back to australia?

can't even call it your local chinky anymore
political correctness gone mad

could be doing with sand niggers too 2bh

Lads do you taste metal?

>WAAAAAAHH I have to treat other human beings with dignity and respect
The state of you

fuck off kiwi

Next friday pal. England like to flirt with us. They give us hope that they might do it. Just to smash our dreams, just like that beautiful woman you fell in love with but just enjoyed a bit of attention. Amazing we won the world cup but it took a kiwi to do it for us anyway.

Australia already have them

>it still hasn't been reverted

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seething

the best part is they've reverted text at least 3 times since the picture was changed but still left it

"Rights for gays, oh yeah"
- Sir Ben Stokes, Duke of Durham

Attached: 2019-08-27 01_34_04.jpg (648x790, 130K)

BASED.

sounds like the wikipedia jannies are actually pretty cool

the gay avenger

Car crash of a song. Would be okay if it wasnt sung by white people.

*sends /cric/ into a seethe*

Attached: 48A20A99-CDD4-4F10-A64D-FD4D384829DE.jpg (960x540, 29K)

based

PPPPPPBBBBBBBBBFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBFFFFFFFFFFFF

its a stinky one

thats based

/cric/? more like /beav/

Attached: 1551512670237.jpg (500x385, 22K)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boiling

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cringe

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2019_Cricket_World_Cup

>Approximately 2.6billion people around the world watched the tournament, making it the most watched cricket competition ever as of 2019.
Christ, no wonder he's still mad. Losing in front of 2.6 billion people!

the 2019 cricket world cup final sticky

The trick is to have more than one guy vandalise it in a row. Someone will revert the most recent vandalism and make the older shit look legitimate. That, and the article being low-traffic, is why it’s remained vandalised for so long.

So you guys fucked any fit maori or aboriginal girls?

yup but she was probably less than a quarter maori

:(

...

French Canadians are far worse

Maori yeah

So lads whats the hottest imperial ethnicity; indians/pakis, inuits/native americans, abos, maoris, the blacks, the egyptians (semitics), the malays, the hong kongolese or the papa people?

Shut the FUCK up sebbo

part maori I reckon

South Asians then semetics I reckon

have been in queue for almost 5 hours now
why the FUCK are there so many NEETs in austrlaia playing classic on a tuesday morning

turns out I didn't fuck up that interview a month ago like I thought lads, ended up getting the grad job haha

oh you're the user that studied law right? very happy for you lad

Well done mate.

>playing classic on a tuesday morning

because they're NEETs' dafuq else do you expect them to be doing?

bloke next to me on the train was planning a sickie with his mates on their group chat

one of my mates genuinely booked 2 weeks of holiday specifically for it

cauliflower and zucchini muffin

yummo

Attached: Snapchat-2016243759.jpg (1152x2170, 827K)

based lads, very good on them

Why isnt there an /Ausfeel/ on Yea Forums or atleast an /aus/

t. white privileged

don't want to associate with the pathetic cunts that aren't on Yea Forums and on Yea Forums we all congregate in /cric/ when Australia plays. no need to go anywhere else

Yeah they're an odd bunch on the other boards. People here tend to be quite well adjusted, Josh Reynolds aside.

Can anyone give me the shortened version of what happened when he had that brawl?
I told my gf during world cup he only got into a brawl to defend some gay guys honour. Was i right? I knew someone was gay but didnt know if he attacked a gay guy.

>no cricket tonight

Attached: 1321587311759.jpg (493x402, 19K)

Time to shit on sebbo again for 2 weeks.

based

Attached: Screenshot_20190827-102920.jpg (1080x2160, 1M)

What in this is based?

cricket chat at G7

yup, very based
didnt modi say he spoke cricket with old mate trump too?

Just pushed one of these out lads, followed by a massive Australian bowling attack

Ah didn't see that. Fuck bros poor morrison is out there having to cop it from that fat cunt borris because Lyon can't collect the ball. Feelsbad.

probably the most appropriate venue for it

especially after he went in on the english crowds booing smith

There's an australian flag tattooed inside my hearts left ventrical valve which is crying right now.

Eagerly awaiting what edition of cric the new thread will be given it’a Aussie hours

Business idea: rename it G3 and just have it as Australia, India and the UK

It’s spelt ventricle mate.
Doing an Australian spelling at the moment lads. Trying not to blow out an o-ring.

OP is clearly a foul ball.

Also play a cricket match with two XIs collected from all three parliaments to encourage good relations

don't buy into this edition rubbish over here

Anticipating a based Sebbo thread. Perhaps the hotly anticipated new episode of /cric/ la /cric/.

feel like shit just wanted to win that ashes test and log onto classic wow

How about a Lyon wants to end careers edition

Australia would dominate so long as we never invite Pakistan

Attached: images (65).jpg (626x490, 24K)

You probably mean Imran Khan

Imagine present day Khan vs all our parliament plodders

Attached: Screenshot_20190827-104051.jpg (1080x2160, 573K)

Think you underestimate how many of our MPs are public school boys who spent their entire childhood playing cricket

that too but there was a picture floating around from t witter where modi said he spoke about cricket in the usa with trump
could have been fake though

I didn't think public school boys played cricket in England

Ah, public school means really posh old private schools like Eton and Rugby
Don’t ask

Public schools are super posh private schools here

This. Uncle is an Eton old boy. He tried to teach me some of the lingo once. I was a lot younger though so I forget all of it.

hmm
so what do you call the schools that the unpaying public go to?

State schools

State schools

right I have heard this term before

State schools
Private schools are bog standard fee paying schools
Public are the really posh old ones
It makes no sense but once upon a time public schools were the only non religious form of education so I guess they were the only public schools, and the name has stuck

As for you I’m sure you attended a state residential school run by missionaries.

A japanese person I spoke to yesterday said they dont hjave an equivalent of TAFE there. is tafe unique to australia or something? What's england's equivalent

public schools are still used to describe posh schools here

take the Public Schools Association schools in Perth, they're all the top all boys schools in the city.

>Perth
>top all boys schools
Doubt

of course the fat cunt is an expert on Australian education

the fatcunt is an expert on everything of course

>tfw went to a school that has a wikipedia page that has both a notable alumni, and a historical abuse section

>these desperate attempts to insert yourself in the conversation

no one wants to talk to you

fuck off

Wanna go to bed lads someone make a new thread I’m dying to know if it will feature seething, self deprecation or something else entirely

Quick googling says it's considered to be vocational stuff post-high school? If so we only really have higher apprenticeships and stuff but genuine ones are rare.

We have things like BTEC and soon T levels I think but they are high school equivalent. There's also regular apprenticeships

it'll literally just be /cric/ in the subject field and some random cricket related image. these threads basically are just for comfy off topic until games are on

thank god hardly anyone normal thinks this way any more. this guy probably believes that meritocracy is real

leave nasty comments at the door

TAFE is nothing really, it's just an organised accredication system for a range of stuff
In most countries it's figured out privately

A session of play with Aggers and Vic and you can still imagine it's how it used to be.
Then Guha and Tufnell come on and you remember that it is now the current year.