/cric/

sharma with the c&bs today

>football hooligans
>ben stokes

BASED Ishant with a FIVEFER

big brain XI, should ed decide to finally show us his true power level
>roy
>jennings
>dernbach
>root
>bairstow
>stokes
>buttler (wk)
>archer
>broad
>leach
>roy

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>burns
>sibley
>fuck knows make bairstow give up the gloves and take it or leave it
>root
>stokes
>pope
>foakes
>archer
>broad
>leach
>anderson

>make bairstow give up the gloves

Attached: muh gloves.jpg (1080x1560, 685K)

Can Roy be “accidentally” injured in training again?

>wake up
>67
OH DEARY ME WHAT HAS HAPPENED

why dont we like, just pick the english people with the best first class averages?

I don't think his almost 60 averaging in FC concussion replacement is good enough mate, surely he'd have been dropped by now if he was

Oh my this definitely makes up for the world cup. An utter stomping at home! What a shame!

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>omg based archer BASED archer future superstar literal GOAT in the making
>next innings
>........................

would it be legal for a player to go off the field and watch some porn, then come back on the field with a raging boner leaking precum and smearing that on the shiny side of the ball?

not really a stomping is it m8

10v11 in the 1st test
australia were gonna lose the 2nd test without the rain to save them
still not even won the 3rd

Tbf the English batsmen didn't give him enough rest time

yes because all natural fluids allowed right?

think about it mate, would you put the hard yards in if your batters just took a huge shit over your efforts?

you're DONE

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thank you sir. we deserve it.

I love the smell of cope in the morning

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What about us.

Bob coming off his long run up and absolutely obliterating the mental midgets

>tfw woke up in the best country in the world

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>all out for 67
i think this proves that the world cup result was rigged

Caribbean people don’t put any effort in at all mate.

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blocked kpop generals and my life is better now

Turn your proxy off then

youtube.com/watch?v=3g5ggs7StBg

>hate /cric/
>Love sebbo

I know who's winning

Does Roy get to bat twice because he’s so shit?

Seems fair

COPE
O
P
E

holy shit rekt

nah he got a six fer in the first

>things I yes
Archer
Burns
Stokes
Leach
Buttler
Woakes
>things I no
whores
Poonley
Poot
Pooy
Poostow
Poord

>Archer injured again
well done Poot

>6 down.
>not even 300 lead
>sunny conditions ahead

australia are cooked

*looms*

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ah yes

the minefield of a day 5 pitch....

OH NONONONON IT'S ONLY DAY 3 HAHAHAHAHA OHONONONONO

its already turning

>day 2
>great conditions for batting

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Marnus looks like Darren Till

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alri' calm down poofta boy

yourdall gittin it

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holy shit

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Just got up, have we handed over the ashes yet? 179 was a shit score.

The english chad and his australian virgin manlet brother.

what a pathetic body

one body blow from me that pathetic faggot would be puking

Big brained strategy not to take it to day 5

me?? big BIG fan of the labia ngl x

Ha

hmm

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>Wake up
>67 (SIXTY SEVEN)

Weren't the poms shit talking when >we got bowled out the day before?

howling

>priding yourself on 170 all out

yikes

STATE of austrlaia cricket

>toilet till
>chad
lul

muscular 170 on a tough pitch 100% favouring the bowlers

I will bow to an aussie but never an NZer. Your accents aren't half as sexy

>Smith and Lamb Shanks partnership next test
literally shaking

the mighty laboosh

Imagine being so delusional that you deflect a poor result.

COPE

don't need a bow just an apology.

>England's 67 is their 12th lowest Test score of all time, their fourth lowest at home and their lowest at Headingley
>At 167 balls, it is England's ninth shortest completed Test innings
>It is England's lowest Test score against Australia since making 52 at The Oval in 1948
>It is the fourth time England have been dismissed for under 100 since the start of 2018 (after 58 v New Zealand, 77 v West Indies, 85 v Ireland) and the third time in 2019
>Joe Denly's 12 is the lowest highest score in a Test innings for England
>There have been 16 extras in Australia's second innings, more than any England batsman managed

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what a fucking cuck nigga

australian in a shithole london hostel confirmed, stick to your wog-filled city m8

>all these (you)'s even though they're winning

OH NONONO PROJECTION IS OFF THE CHARTS

jesus lad, have a cuppa
I suggest English (for) breakfast

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Lol this kent

well, the fact that we cheated just makes it funnier and sweeter

please remain calm and take your racist filth elsewhere.

>94954663 #
>well, the fact that we cheated just makes it funnier and sweeter
aaahHHAAAAA!
STRAIGHT from the horse's mouth innit

>youtube.com/watch?v=fbMeYa4ZtXs

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

erm, what?

you read it correctly you cheater cunt

>NZ wins the world cup
>Australia retains The Ashes

Who can stop the ANZACs from dominating cricket?

/cric/chads help.

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Just BEE yourself

Ask her about the ramifications of Napoleon's defeat at Waterloo and how it could have changed history had Napoleon defeated the anglo-alliance. That'll get her wet la

What are you stalking her on?

just reading this gives me anxiety

Got way too drunk last night. Regretting it now.

as an australian living in the UK I have to say we have looked pretty poor out there, credit to the English bowlers despite their batting mishaps

as an English "man" backpacking through australia I have to say I'm feeling absolutely COOKED and ROOTED right now tbqph

I'm not stalking her. She followed my instagram and messaged me out of the blue.

fuck thats hard to watch

absolutely will be not water in that loo if you say that. Was a symbolic victory even if the anglo army was destroyed and much larger Austrian and russian army was on the way already which would have smashed Napoleon.
He was already defeated and had no way out

can't think straight too much mental strain
t. englishman

Elaborate.

Would feed that blonde chubby the old bratwurst sausage if you know what I mean.

he got defeated already but escaped and made one last army which eventually was destroyed at waterloo but even if he won that battle a much bigger army was on the way to kick his shit in and France was fucked by then anyway. Making waterloo not an actual turning point in history more just symbolic.
Would dry up her moot on seconds if you asked her your first question

Check'em Lads

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>Hey :3
>H-how long ago did we match?
>Y-You're in B-Brisbane
The moot is unreachable already

Ai'll help m8.
What are you thinking

>pozzies changing their tune so quickly from impotent seethe

YIKES hope they don't regret this

point of the story is britain always wins

FUCK napoleon, FUCK nazis, FUCK abos and FUCK natives

Did /cric/ ever have a meetup at the Gong?

she's a heffa mate

No, the meetup is next weekend in Goulburn.

based britain fucking everyone over since the beginning of (relevant) time

Meetup on 27th dec in Melbourne in Fitzroy

*retains (wins) ashes*
so proud lads, I know the match isnt over yet but it feels so close.
What a mighty effort

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cricket is an irrelevant sport played only by an autistic few

Oye hoye trophy looked better ngl

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I reguarly go on /his/ and trigger frogs about Waterloo, the Seven Years War and the War of the Spanish Succession

>autistic few
Well this is the right place to discuss it.

The cric world knows New Zealand won the world cup
We're about to have an historic win in England
based fucking ANZACs

Where can one buy a replica of the OYE HOYE trophy? Have the perfect place for it on my bedside table

OYE HOYE

...

ngl wish I supported a team irrelevant enough to play for arbitrary meme trophies

dont worry lad you guys have the prestigious tuc biscuit trophy to play for

Contemplating having a replica of the OYE HOYE trophy made but not sure if I want to spend that much cash on a meme

The fuc trophy

Played for between me and your mother

thats the best kind mate

It would sit nicely next to your erewhon cassette

>wanting to meet other people from Yea Forums

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>ashes hinges on tonights play
kino as fuck, cant wait

*inhales*

just woke up lads, how much do England lead by?

I can just imagine what you cunts look like and it's not good.

they've put up a stiff resistance of -283
looking grim for aus who will need to score zero runs to have a chance of winning this match

better than you runt

i'm p handsome just a turbo sperg

gotem

Is this paralympic baseball?

umm no sweaty this is BASED cric, where fielders have to cover more ground than a baseball fielder without a stupid fucking glove to assist their obese soon to be corpses in catching. lol I bet you feel really dumb right now

>run a little
>no gloves

"B-b-but muh sport is s-superior, a-a-non!"

fat guts on the ropes

Why are England so bad at sports?

excuse me, please apologize nowhere did I sat that cricket was superior, just that is was BASED and Americans are fat. Both factually accurate. I know being semi-literate must be tough so I'd typing this very slowly so you can read at your own pace but please, do better on the internet.

la booosh, shag again?

happy for ya bla x

jofra archer is a fraud

>Archers face when Root puts Leach in for an over after Broad

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Question: When hooking with a girl (if you have those there?), do you say "I got to second/third base last night"? Or do you say things like "Me and Johnny went 'round the wicket last night and it was a bloody good time, mate"?

gnite bla x
youtu.be/N8m0dS0DJcI

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nobody uses 'bases'

most of the time we dont brag about fucking

Because who wants to brag about fucking a sheep?

based Marcus
we got the good saffer import while England got Jason Roy

Marnus I mean haha

ah yes the famed american banter

Ask her how she feels about the rainforest ?

Pavement

fuck I'm handsome

all going a bit J G Ballard for England

bed looms

is 'fraud' some type of slang term for nogger?

>Bed
>At 230 in the afternoon

owned the nogtards epic style

3:37 AM GMT

BASED

beautiful winter weather

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Based.

*mogs you*

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thinking about getting maggot

Who do >we drop for Labuschagne in the next test?

Khawaja

certain retard will say Harris

Smith

Suicidelander?
Block and move on is the only sane option here

I’m thinking wade, but you could also drop Harris, move Khawaja to open and Labushagne to 3

why Wade when Usman is the shortest?
why Harris when Bancroft should be the objective opener?

shittest

phone posting doing a number on me

ha

>and no apostrophe on ANZACs
I'm so proud of you right now m8

*smashes down 35g of gold standard optimum nutrition whey protein isolate*

Wade is objectively worse, no. 3 has been much harder to bat at, especially given he’s effectively opening most innings
I think give Head Wade’s position and he’ll do really well against the softer ball
I agree Bancroft should be there but they can’t really reverse that decision now

>another lonely drunk Friday night on /cric/ for Zachy
Grim, grim stuff lads.

I'm tall and good-looking. Probably older than most of you lad though.

he left the thread in anger

/cric/ is surprisingly boomer

feel like one of the younger lads here at 24

We usually just have sex with girls mate, no need for "hooking bases".

I’m 22
I think it’s just a lot more people who have been here for years rather than the people who discovered Yea Forums within the last year

Have any of you flown with Tigerair? How would you rate it?

when did you lads arrive?
2009 for me probably around this time of year actually

gobby/blowie/head = blowjob
root/shag/smash/fugged = sexual intercourse
up the dirt path/road or playing in the mud = anal

no one uses base analogies or sports analogies like a fucking idiot

Shithouse, but did the job.

Just like Jetstar, reasonably comfy
Don’t know why people complain about those airlines being shit, they’re nothing like the budget stuff you can get in Asia

been on Yea Forums for yonks
been into cricket since a young lad
been on and off posting on /cric/ for only a couple years when a series takes my interest

wouldn't go for a budget airline on any flight longer than 5 hours

Aussie World Cup

wouldn't go on a budget airline
wouldn't go on a flight longer than 5 hours
wouldn't go on a flight tbqph

hate Megan Markle

too American and comes across as an entitled bitch.

big fan of planes. plane spot in my backyard everyday

Alright, thanks for the thoughts on Tigerair. Followup question: How is the drive from Sydney airport to Goulburn? I was thinking of catchign a train, but it's quicker to drive and I'll have a car while in Goulburn. Downsides are that I've never driven in Sydney traffic before (or do you bypass all that?)

watching rugby but posting on/cric/
feeling devilish

Drop the entire top 4 2bh

Reminder that if you think #Lover is great (as you should), try and buy it if you can. Not just stream it. The money should go to the people who made the album, not people like Spotify who just get rich off other people’s work.

this england team getting out for 67 is worse than that time australia did and yet nobody is talking about

bunch of poofs

ngl I love gossiping about royals

/cric/ and /rug/ just exist to artificially separate the lads down arbitrary lines
Yea Forums cries out for /commonwealth/

p sure you just sit on the motorway and follow the signs mate

england more like engSHIT lmfao

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Anyone with Meghan Markle and royals gossip on their mind secretly wants to fuck their mum

Why are you so obsessed with Goulburn mate

KEK

someone please tell me what compels my mum to watch those royal documentaries? they're like some weird trance inducing thing for middle aged women

reckon there's a thirsty country sheila there he wants to root, cheaper to get a prossie desu

just let her enjoy it mate wtf

If I don't get a reply I just delete my post and try again later.

Every girl wanted to be a princess when she was little

i can't

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i want to be in a princess

My northern irish mum with family members in the IRA can't stop watching them. It's insane.

Mine doesn't watch them anymore because she's alread seen all the old ones and knows more than the recent superficial ones
She watched the crown though

absolutely HOWLING at the girls I work with who were raised on this Disney princess trope, fast approaching 30 thinking some handsome, rich, accomplished prince is going to swoop in before they hit 30 and sweep them off their feet.

proud english rose princess kate or based elite ausGOD princess mary lads?

Sounds like the girl Ivan was talking to last night

Yeah I bet they all kept themselves pure like those Disney princesses too AMIRITE

when I was a teenager and went to london with my family I kept sperging out about how royals are just people

feel like pure shit just want a house in Goulburn with a fireplace

no they probably have had sex

wish Ivan would sweep me off my feet

THIS

seriously what's the obsession?

>HURRRRRRRRRRRRR DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR LETS JUST GET A SPIN BOWLER THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE AND BOWLS EXACTLY LIKE LYON

great tactics from the england big brains

any places like this in australia?

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>model your life on fictional princesses
>forget the most blaringly obvious and crucial characteristic

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

with goulburn? or fireplaces?

>"it doesn't count until you fall in love. Until you find something REAL"

my sides in orbit on a daily basis

>b-b-but he's a lefty!
yeah mate, Goulburn

Goulburn

Daintree Rainforest properties

>lets just get a bowler who can bowl really fast bouncers like australia
>*searches england*
>.........
>lets just import a bowler who can bowl really fast bouncers like australia

>lets just get an opener who gives it a good whack like warner
>lets just copy the entire Australian team
>why can't we be big muscular AUSGODS too?

another day without a reply from her

Goulburn is pretty comfy desu

another day, another wank

>lets just get an opener who gives it a good whack like warner
Nah, Roy is more like Finch

hahaha I get it

apparently warner isnt going to lose his spot...

AUSNEETS shall rise again

all jokes aside Finch has a seriously HANDSOME technique when he plays straight

day 4 nofap tbqh

slowly trying to unjust myself. being a neet and wanking isn't that glorious when you're almost 26

would rather have chris lynn opening

They honestly are the same though, even down to selection
>hmm we're running out of opening options, let's just get a semi-relevant aggressive opener from the one day game to open even though he only ever bats in the middle order in domestic games
>wtf why can't he face the swinging red ball???

for me it's developing reverse aging as quickly as possible and chucking binga and punter back in the team

You need to live your own life

only $635,000 mate

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tipping a penis under there

>Blue Mountains
>Southern Highlands
>New England
that's just NSW

well she is brazilian

Yeah but driving game is so handsome I can see why they picked him, pretty disappointed he lost a bit of his chub tbqph - think that was behind his secret technique for giving it a good whack.

ah just a mix I reckon, a few late teens, plenty in their 20s and 30s

just got a text from uncle mark

darcy short and lynnsanity opening for australia next match

My first post on /cric/ was late 2014.

hopefully to have a good long think about his life.

could get behind this

It's a shame they couldn't transfer their form, reckon they need to make the seam on the white kookaburra more pronounced so that the gulf between formats isn't so big
Now that I think about it making Roy open with the Duke is even more retarded

Bancroft
Warner
Labuschagne
Smith
Head
Wade
Paine
x4 bowlers

Yeah at least Finchy came on the scene in Aus I'm pretty sure.

Why did the English shit the bed? I thought >we were fucked after only getting 179?

grim is all I can say

shame it wasn't also your last

dare I say.... the four horsemen?

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Cummins Hazlewood and Pattinson are all better than the fraudulent Jofra Archer

For those who don't know; the biggest difference between the Kookaburra and the Duke is the stitching. The Kookaburra has a low seam in comparison to the Duke. The Duke, a more prominent and prouder seam.

>including warner

go get another coconut cock up you, candice you cunt.

He started in that UAE tour but it's easy as fuck to open there

why's that mate

Renshaw
Warner
Labuschagne (vc)
Smith (c)
Head
Wade
Carrey (wk)
Pattinson
Cumgod
Lyon
Hazlewood

desert roads.

hadn't heard about that before

talk about Lords having a slope too

learning a lot this ashes

and the lacquer mate

Remove wade and bring in Starc
Starc is usually good for a bout 30ish runs anyway

What a mad lad

I remember dukes used to give everyone's bats cracks at u/13 training

based brazilian

based retard

Renshaw has been awful since he was concussed
>Carey
>Making Labushane the captain
state of this cazzie

>#longlevers
>#wallop

Duke balls are banned in Australia, freshie.

Brazillian entering /cric/.webm

Didn't actually know he got concussed, looked good when he first busted on the scene. Carrey is a fuckload better than Paine and he's worth an inclusion for those beautiful eyes, who the fuck else would be VC then?

had the best dream last night

Paine needs to go

obvious you were a summer + ashes only casual but thanks for admitting it

Lmao I didn't even read that properly, Smith can't be captain you absolute casual, are you for real?
Head would be captain, and Carey would be shit at test format

Tried following that subcontinetal tour bullshit once and decided it wasn't worth the time.

It's never interesting hearing about other people's dreams.

Make him captain anyway, don't really give a fuck tbqph, doubt Carey would be worse than Paine.

yeah bro, clearly it's the bowling line up that's the weakest part of the team right now

fine but keep the hot takes to yourself alright lad?

take some panadol

excited about the lizzie mcguire reboot

Cummins is clearly going to be capt before too long

dw bra I'll defo keep my keyboard shut next subcontinent tour

we already covered why bowlers can't be captains in last night's thread mate

Imagine captaining an away Ashes victory and getting dropped before the end of it.
It'd be nearly as embarrassing as starting a WC at home as captain and being dropped before the final (which you won)

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Don't think he's too worried about embarrassment mate

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I'm never here when there's actually cricket being played

You do understand the captain should have experience captaining? It’s not “who’s the best batsman”

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That's why smith gets the job ey

Smith is literally banned from the captaincy freshcaz

T Iqbal
A Ali
Labuschagne
Root
H Nicholls
R Jadeja
Q De Kock
V Philander
P Cummins
J Bumrah
K Rabada

What do you mean he's "banned from captaincy"?
You mean like if he starts giving orders out on the field the cricket police will just show up, slap the old ball round gauges around his wrist and drag him off the field?

KEK

Smith is still the captain. just unofficially

Mate you can't field those players because they weren't born in Engl......

I mean he’s been explicitly banned from holding the captaincy position
But yeah he does some cheeky soft captaining

Just like Warnie

*Steve Waugh

You're thinking of Warner they announced they'd never make him vc again. Smith isn't banned for life, but he'll probably never be capt again unless there's no one

all but a couple of the lower scores were in the 1800s when they basically used hewn logs as bats and were probably shitfaced drunk all day.

Head is the future captain everyone knows that

Smith was absolute dogshit as a captain anyway

how long has your computer been on for? 41 days here.

why would I keep it on while I sleep?

>Root 66
>Head 69

both have bans on holding leadership positions

fucking look it up before you spout shit mate

Reminder Darren Lehmann's last first class century is more recent than Tim Paine's last one

means fuck all

means a bit if his performance in this series is anything to go by

cricket.com.au/news/mark-taylor-steve-smith-ball-tampering-captain-australia-ban-david-warner-cameron-bancroft/2018-05-06

at least tim paine doesn't look like darren or jake lehmann.

Ooof

you keep falling back on the captains are defined by their batting fallacy

at least tait paine doesn't look like darren or jake lehmann.

>after the ban on his leadership ends.
dumb cunt

truth tsar bomba

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told my mum england got bowled out for 67 and she said "yeah it was looking pretty grim last night"

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thanks for sharing that one

Did you guys underestimate Labuschagne?

thanks for providing us with that anecdote

*scores a double century*

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I find them interesting. I used to use this dream moods website to "analyze" my gf's dreams and manipulate her into thinking what I wanted by explaining things because "dreams are unique to you and your mind, not like that tarot and astrology shit"

kek

remember how seething old mate was when he changed the batting order from the rooms kek

kek this retard is the poocastle poof

based gronk

sorry to disappoint lad, I'm a WA iggsGOD

meant

Gf keeps wanting me to like and comment on her shit, lads.

could not imagine having to "live" in worstern australia

sounds like a high maintenance controlling bitch lad

High maintenance for sure. Not really controlling though.

She posts her shits? kinky.

trying to get you to do stuff you don't want to do sounds like attempted controlling behavior. I bet when you guys go out to eat she tries to snack a fry or something off your plate, co-dependency in action.

nothing worse

I usually eat her food.

good lad

seriously considering suicide

Mexican soccer gf.

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grim

>67
Yodeling

watched layer cake last night
average flick

I'm a 25 year old neet yet feel like I'm the least miserable person on cric

John Wick 3 is out, watching that tonight

I'm pretty happy.

chuck us a review when you're done

Do you enjoy being neet?

ON YA BIKE SON

yes. but it could be better

it's a melancholy kind of feel, work 10 hours a week SOME weeks in a shitty retail job and there's a small desire to do better but I gloss over that by saying this isn't a society I want to contribute to and I have no dreams/goals or aspirations, never have. When I'm at work (because lol no friends) the people I talk to all seem stressed, hating their lives worse than me. One dude who's full time making good money says he'd rather be me lol. Guess it's just grass is always greener mentality

hated my six months as a neet

get miserable if I'm not working

it's a personality thing I guess. trait conscientiousness. I go insane when I have to live a structured life where I'm told what to do. and I have creative hobbies

reckon when I retire I'll buy a place near Black Spur Drive and live out there with a few dogs

*sniff*

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Got 3 video interviews to do by Monday lads

I've just got the one
swear to god if I fuck this up I might end it all haha

thinking of becoming a vagrant

the seven months I was on the dole were the best of my life
>enough cenno for snacks and weed
>gf worked in a pizza shop doing accounting and got free food whenever
>rode my bike in the sun all day
>fucked and blazed every night

sound like an absolute cunt Tbh

they all are in the end

just want a job lads

>march 2019

got any qualifications lad?
start looking for retail/Christmas casual shit it's starting to rev up at my shit warehouse

graduate jobs I'm talking about, I'm in my final semester of university

As long as you're rorting newstart and you've got some cash it goes all right.

Lakmal in a pickle here

what makes a female go from telling you that she likes you to ghosting you?

just want a self sustaining AI world, universal basic income and photorealistic VR lads

>YOU WILL NEVER BE AN AUSGOD
WHY LIVE BROS

Attached: 1566621704916.png (1220x2537, 2.92M)

I'll do that to girls without any particular reason I'm just a bit of a shitty person

nice lad, what you majoring in/looking for? as a deadshit, I always admire people who can commit to a degree.

their very nature lad. She basically gave you the green light to move ahead, you didn't and she moved on.

For me, it's everyone's bodily needs taken care of by automated processes while our minds exist in an MDMA-like trance of eternal bliss
Scared of commitment mostly

I'm looking forward to designer drugs

law

bit of a fucked job market, only 1/3 of graduates find jobs and a lot of that comes down to nepotism

she said that she came out of a five year relationship though

sounds grim if you ask me

of the opinion that man needs to suffer and toil to be truly satisfied and happy

fuck wish I had the dedication to get a chem degree or some shit, could design mad stuff for profit or at the very least get a job in the US making waxes and oils in the emerging cannabis market

fuck lad VERY grim, good luck

NICE JAZZY
THAT'S IT MATE
COME ON LADS

tuning in to the cricket

grim

got them right where we want them lads.

daily reminder that if we lose this test, 100% of the blame has to go on Boult for dropping that catch.

>no decent cric on
>go to other boards
>all posts are serious and on topic
>no good bantz
>(You)'s flowing about as freely as runs off Alastair Cook's bat

It's just not fair bros

literally lost the WC too

>lost

Atleast your industry representative body doesn't actively take steps to fuck you over. Engineers Australia keeps memeing about the so-called "skills shortages" but the reality is that graduate outcomes are getting worse and worse. Don't think it's quite as bad as Law though

Yeah im here

ausGODs can't help but win

mood

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All my banter goes in /r/crickets Sunday sledge threads. Got some real doozys lined up for tomorrow

>cuckstralians acting like this series matters

we already won the world cup, this is a sideshow

had a look at those when they get linked here, fucking grim

>won

Pretty loose use of the word there matie.

i'm not 100% sure on the rules here, but if the guy boult dropped on 9 goes on to get a hundred, does boult have to retire from international cricket?

feel like England lost the series more than Australia won it.

same

he'll be banned from all forms of the game for a year

bowlers have bailed out the excerable batting for too long

*looks up excerable*

*looks up batting*

Yeah, I'ma go fuck that bitch
I'ma go thrash that bitch
Shawty gon' suck this dick
Shawty gon' suck this dick
That's a pull-up bitch
Don't make me pull up, bitch
I'd smash that thot, then pull out bitch
Might push the Flacko shit
Watch me pull up, take your chain, lil' bitch
I'm on Deebo lit
I'm on Migo lit
I'm on kilo lit
I go psycho bitch
Watch me suck your bitch
Watch me thrash that bitch
Then I pass that bitch

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what do australians mean by this?

based

why cant i just meet a nice girl for once

five for Timmy coming right up

because they all listen to shit like and think they can twerk yasssss queen slay ghetto garbage shit

whittakers peanut slab on the cards

The coconut one goes pretty hard.

coconut slice is the best

>because they all listen to shit like
and think they can twerk yasssss queen slay ghetto garbage shit

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t. candice warner

kek

kek

oh no no nono

>ball clearly hits ropes
>better watch the replay 15 times to confirm

?

could do with some sex

love girls lads

love boys lads

A solid wank feels better.

based women

for me, it's a blowjob and busting down her throat, hardest cums of my life

good go for a good continental roll

Could be worse:
>fielder clearly smashes into ropes while touching the ball
>it's england though so the umps only give it a quick glance and declare it 3 runs

never understood the just wanting sex meme. people that just want a one night stand. i don't understand what it does for you. intimacy is the key to happiness, not sex with strangers.

You find yourself a real good sport or do you just let it go without telling her?
For me, it's moaning enough to have plausible deniability.

They work themselves up into a mental state of carnal desires and let loose, drugs usually helps.

current mood:
youtube.com/watch?v=iMN0u6s7WCA

youtube.com/watch?v=-CPCs7vVz6s

she was a good sport
>"when you're about to cum, pull my hair"
did that and she'd just suck harder while I blew

with other girls I usually just say "if you keep doing that, I'm gonna cum" and if they try to let off just keep my hand firmly on their head so they HAVE to pull away.

Then I guilt them later with passive aggressive texts like "spitters are quitters haha :P"

Candice-Bill Williams*

Attached: eddy.jpg (285x249, 15K)

could use an innings ending wicket here

sri lanka should just declare, they've already batted us out of this one

got u senpai

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serious question here, how did Smith go from average spin bowler to in the conversation as the greatest batsman to ever live? What did/does he do to perform at the highest level like this?

hard mode: no autism, no being possessed by Bradman

We should've brought him in this test for the sole purpose of bowling bouncers at Archer.
We would have lost the test and probably the ashes too but it would have been top notch bantz.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA FUCK THAT IS FUNNY BRO

WARNKEK AM I RIGHT???!!!!!

not uncommon

KP was an off spinner and tendulkar was a fast bowler

same reason candice warner managed to get a top bloke like davey warner to marry her; they made a deal with the devil.

Started batting on a 5th stump line and stopped missing them when they were on the pads

Practice makes perfect mate.
>mediocre player without much access to coaches, net time and bowlers
>bring him into the national squad purely because we were desperate for another Warnie
>now has access to all the coaching and net time he could ever want
>flourishes

proxy off poorner

t. warncuck

He said innings ending, not life ending.

Reckon you should bring him in for the dead rubbers after you win this test

any wickets here

Would you sandpaper your balls to this?

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Does anyone else think Matthew Wade is going to pop off at any time from here on out? I reckon he's going to make another century before the end of the 5th test. He should be keeping, too.

t. Not Matt Wade

>top bloke
you mean desperate bloke, couldn't look myself in the mirror if I KNEW with verifiable photos floating around that my wife was passed around like a tea cup.

BOWLED

brehs

GOT HIM!!! 100 runs later......

she'd grind my pelvis into dust, Satan.

el boulto my dearest

grim

Grim.

is that steve smith's mum or dad?

Fuck off Wade

how many australian dollars for her to shit into my open mouth?

youtube.com/watch?v=yCk6Jk7DvrA
LADS

The delegates, Dahnald

KEK

>day three
>just finished the first innings
yep we're in for a draw

more muscular and handsome than 90% of /cric/ i can see why she makes incels so mad

>giving this vid a quick watch because I'm bored
>can't stop staring into cumgods eyes

How is he so handsome lads?

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Need to get The big man and Southee to open for some slogs. Nothing to lose at this point

full strength sarah blasko

>most kids want to be youtubers
yep the societal crash is coming lads

We need more pootubers t b h

(sewer line infrastructure workers)

we need more borderline underage looking girls doing thong bikini try ons

was horrified reading some article about a mother who said good night to her kid and he said "night, like share and subscribe" thinking it was how people say goodbye.

fucking unreal

trip on incel pedo

pedo yes, incel no.

kinds dreamy ngl

looks exactly like me if i were better looking and without the neckbeard

i prefer actually underage girls

15 is prime age for females. when they have those curves but haven't started ruining their cute little pussies by taking miles of dick.

अहं ब्रह्मास्मि

KEK

11-12 is peak beauty. 13-15 is peak sexy

trip on incel pedo

I really like little girls. Not in a sexual way. They are just the cutest little things. Also Labrador puppies.

trip on richo

why won't they let me adopt one? bigots

me too except in a sexual way

new

>FOUR posts early

cant stand it

I know you planned it

had to make sure that other cunt didn't make an early thread m8

IMA SET IT STRAIGHT THIS CRICKETGATE

>not sandpapergate

Last post best post.

Which shall be mine