/heem/: It's all about the U edition

KEK Based fucking Khabib

truly /ourguy/

>Henry would unironically heem everyone in this thread under 200 lbs
So... everyone ITT would win

Niggers the lot of you

Deport Usman and his shitty smelly family

# of White champs:4 (Val, Stipe, Bobby and Max)
# of chinkoid champs: 0
# of nog champs: 2
# of spic champs: 3
# of kebab champs: 1

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>le Yea Forums fat

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>whining about putting lazy niggers to work

>trying to bait (you)s

Here's one for your troubles slugger

Khabib is white

How long are cazzie bitches going to be strung along by the nose by Goobie the flushed coward ?

He looks whiter than Max for sure.

I was rooting for DC in that fight but when he poked Stipe... That was the most flagrant eye-poke this side of Jones I've ever seen. He didn't even hide it. I was on a real roller coaster of emotions at that point. I don't understand a man doing that in a title defense match. It isn't right. Nothing but respect for Stipe and if DC doesn't fire his corner he's a real moron's moron.

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Forever because he's my favorite fighter

>I was rooting for DC
leave

Khabib is black

Bobert is biracial (angel)

I hear he's looking for a new sack-cleaner, you're in luck b

Jon and the shitpost Brit were right all along. DC is a fake faggot who wanted to be the alpha male but got cucked and started doing the nice guy shtick

wat a hader

rent free

>rooting for a moralfag cheating fatass

The absolute state

Have sex

So like these MMA fighters are not genius con artists. Covington is still tricking 85% of you. I think DC is actually a nice guy but extremely competitive to a fault. He has been throwing these illegal eye pokes and no one can dispute that now. Did he learn it from Jones?

MSG card looking DICEY so far lads not much in the works and masvidal thinks the diaz fight wont jappen until December

Ever since the ESPN era started, the cards have been extremely unbalanced. It's two weeks of nothing and one week of everything. Why is this happening?

Why blame Jones for DC being an eyepoke cheat?

>I was rooting for DC

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Tell Donald not us

Because you have 600 fighters on the roster and pretty much need to fill a card a week. Cut the roster in half, do 1 PPV Card and 1 ESPN Card a month and you will have nothing but stacked cards.

>Gave money to homeless
More like he's too much of a good guy

As a joke?

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>Max
>White

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Sorry but I don't understand. Why is it different now that it's ESPN? Are there now 500 new fighters?

Beck seems like a fun girl

Seachures

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No its literally what Nate Diaz said. Nobody is doing cool shit anymore. Everyone is a diva and a drama queen and they all have aggressive managers behind them that prevent good fights from happening due to "imma get mines"

youtu.be/a3v1Mu5uAYM

youtu.be/JIMA8zwzOus

youtu.be/PAy1TybaYPo

youtu.be/phXWrC7RSN4

youtu.be/PBybY6DFZ4o

Full interview special with Conor. Maybe someone can make a mirror before it gets taken down.

Let's go, Conor, you can get back on the right path. I believe in you. You've already recognized that changes must be made and that's half the battle.

Why the fuck would a fighter not eyepoke someone at least once, especially in a striking match? The ref will just give you a stern warning and if you do it again a second time MAYBE you get a point deducted. On the other hand you massively limit your opponent's ability to defend himself and you get a free break.

The only way to get rid of eyepokes is to start enforcing the no eyepoke rule much more harshly to the point where the advantages don't outweigh the punishment any longer. Then eyepokes will suddenly magically disappear overnight.

>if DC doesn't fire his corner he's a real moron's moron.
His corner that was telling him not to do what he was doing? Oh for sure

DC has staked his likeability on being a moralfag good guy. I dont blame fighters for the occasional illegal blow if they can get away with it, but when a fag like DC does it and pretends he's still a squeaky clean fella, fuck that guy

This is exactly right. They should immediately take a point for an eyepoke especially with the new rules in effect. I agree that flagrant fouls should be punished. The refs are usually too quick to stop a fight and too slow to call a foul. I don't understand this.

His corner was telling him he was losing in the second round. They broke him

It would help if these retard refs actually started emphasizing closing the hands. It's literally in the rules that you can't extend your fingers towards your opponent's face regardless of whether you poke or not, yet so many fighters wantonly do it because as you say why the fuck not

You have all these shitty ESPN+ cards where you have a decent headliner and maybe a decent co main and then the rest is pure dog shit. If you limit the amount of cards and fighters you will only have cards with good fighters fighting against each other.

Imagine being so mentally fragile your corner breaks you

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Yeah that's exactly why I lost a lot of respect for DC

Why is everyone keep referring to Helwani as a reporter? He straight up admitted himself that he was (is?) on the UFC payroll?
I don't hate him, I watch his shit every once in while, but why pretend?

She does

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Retribution
Redemption
Respect

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Need to get a beast of a Co-Main and Main event. Walker and Black Beast are good Main Card material. Hopefully Till vs Gastelum plays out, would also be solid on main card. Edgar vs Sterling would be a very good feature prelim.

I'm fine with some meaningless cards in buttfuck nowhere as long as they know how to stack the cards that matter. If they cant put together a couple of good cards in October and November the ufc will be relegated to espn 2 and 3.

They need to realize that manlet divisions and women are memes unless you can really get a story going. BW has a chance if cruz comes back and garbrandt starts winning. Cejudo has already injected himself into it.

Flyweight is literally shit tier and needs to be cut. Nothing can make me care about benavidez cejudo 2

Ufc needs to cut flyweight and women other than the top 5 in each division. And I agree a developmental league to put the shitters in is a good idea

No they weren't. He asked if he was, they didn't say he was losing
Also this is his corner pre fight
instagram.com/p/B1NGTexn5V0/?igshid=r2qv2x10yqhh
telling him things he was doing wrong

If I was a fighter FUCK SHOWMANSHIP

I'm getting my nice warning for grabbing the cage a couple times, I'm getting a free eyepoke, groin strike, I'm taking extra time at the end of the round, I'm greasing, oil checking and I'm complain and protesting every single foul to say I didn't do it regardless if I did or not

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What could they conceivably get though? There isnt really an interesting opponent for cejudo atm , Festherweight has no immediate interest (volkanovski maybe..) and Holloway is overworked as it is, lw has a title fight in Sept, WW is the only real option but Usman might still be a little bitch milking his injury, lhw has no one for jones right now, heavyweight is possible but contingent on if stipe heals up to fight ngannou or Jones

>Posts negging video to prove they weren't negging
OK man

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You again

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if Stipe hit me in the gut like he did with DC would I puke

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>There isnt really an interesting opponent for cejudo atm ,

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Nate jorge in Nov. Gooby Tony in dec. Comeback of non title main events

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wish cejudo was champ when dumbass ronda was in ufc thinking she could beat up men

Nothing tops this one

Masvidal destroying Askren was my happiest moment this entire year. Can he shoot a turkey? I don't know. Diaz? Uhh....

Masvidal is a cunt

Could Gabi unironically beat Cejudo?

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What a beautiful lady

>constructive criticism is negging
OK man

grim thread so far

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What are some the most KINO MMA moments? obvious one being Lawler vs MacDonald's end of Round 4 stare down

and I thought Stipe's tide turning liver punch after eating the same hand that heemed him in the match before was such a pure kino trade off

Jamal...

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Usman v Covington - Main
Ortega v Korean Zombie - Co Main

But since on these mega cards they usually have 2 title bouts I can see:
Jones v Blachowicz - Main
Covington v Usman - Co Main

Max heems Robert 11 times out of 10!

Debate me! Only 200 IQs and 4D Chess can!

Pro tip: You can't!

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Frankie finishing Maynard

Schaub is God

Heh, "Jamal", that's gotta be some KFC breath nigger

This one. Anyone have the webm?

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i fellow watcher of grange tv i see

YEAH BOYYYYYYYYYYY

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literally the reason crocop is hardly in any GOAT HW discussion

I wish we could find out

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Just a proper dog hanging out

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When Conor fought a guy 3 times his size!

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Who's he pointing at

How many times do you think she's fucked that dog?

I like the first option way more than the second. Jones blachowizzz is a snoozer

How about we bring some positive vibes in here? We can give compliments to one another. I don’t know much about you, but you’re probably based because you’re from the greatest country on earth, and earth is the greatest planet in the solar system!

He's saying "You must be THIS tall to ride" and lifts his finger inches over his head to laugh at how manlet he is! :^)

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was

well done steep, well done... HOWEVER

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WAS ASIAN

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Agreed, I can just see UFC being gay and going that route, plus Jones said earlier this year he wants to fight at MSG. Don’t want to see Jones point fight another 50-45 decision. If Covington-Usman is a main, the build up and shit talking will be legendary.

Werdum wins hematch!

the fight to make

HW is so shallow, even Schaub can come back and unironically be ranked top 10

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Did anyone see Hulk from 2008? The big fight at the end between Hulk and Aboination. Remind you of anything we've seen recently?

youtube.com/watch?v=-DFmdKlqIK8

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I would be willing to pay a large amount of money to see Schaub come back and fight Ngannou. Anyway to have Dana give Schaub a huge show purse to make it happen?

IT’S JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS

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Picture related! :^)

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Puke is permaflushed.

Good eye... working on the title for the picture! :^)

One of the most kino moments of the year. Luke getting his shit pushed in after talking tons of shit never gets old. Even funnier that he got his jaw broken kek

fucking BASED

MY LIFE IS SO BORING I JUST WANT CONOR BACK TO HELP ME CARE AGAIN

I would have some sympathy for the guy but it's the same thing every time

cringe

I was holding out pretty long for Gooby but he’s just completely unlikeable now. Not even in a good heel kind of way.

Just a money grubbing whisky salesman who will continue to duck all the top fighters. Sad desu.

I just want contender Goobert back, but I know that’s a thing of the past.

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*record scratch*
Yup. that's me. So you're probably wondering how I got myself into this situation.

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he literally just fought the undisputed undefeated champion

Have you tried getting a girlfriend or a hobby?

join a martial art

The fact I had Jan KO Prop at +600 doesn’t make me feel anymore sorry for him either

I think some of us may have underestimated how badly Khabob flushed him, he's still shook and seething to this very moment about that fight

2019 - bad year for mma

lel

20 hours in ms paint.

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too easy

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h-hello duna?

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Can't wait to see him become champ champ again in 2020

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>

fuck Werdum 2bh

why didn't ufc let aldo/pettis fight when they were both champs? plenty of other champs would have done what conor did if given the same opportunities

based fabricio

aldo refused to move up in weight

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>aldo refused to move up in weight
i fucking swear i remember a post fight scrum with dana saying he didn't want people jumping up and down. cant remember what card it was for

youtube.com/watch?v=Hc7AbDhQwvA

well shit, i was wrong..

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Updated! :^)

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>2 different background colors

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I'm fixing it... wait a bit.

Check it now.

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In hindsight this was the beginning of the end of his career

I also fixed her hair cropping with the top title.

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Why doesn't Yoel Romero do the acrobatic flips when he comes into the cage any more? :l

what the fuck even is this mcgregor interview

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How does /heem/ feel about Cejudo?

I would heem anyone itt thats under 200lbs and youd have to be mentally ill to think otherwise

are you really 181cm im shook

'ate

181 aint even 6ft kek

he's a fag

>imagine being a Canadian
>now imagine also being a manlet
May Allah have mercy on your soul.

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i don't fancy watching the whole interview, what does canor say about the old man who had a taste of his left over that piss he was serving?

Zabit would heem Khabib. Zabit is the true and humble representative Dagestani MMA and of Muslim fighters world wide. Inshallah

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Zabit "let's not kill the infidels" Magomedsharipov

Toilet Till has one KO win and one TKO win and somehow he's know for having KO power

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Henry is a dork, harmless, I like that he's embrassed his cringe personal and hamming it up, plus I really enjoyed his video of dancing with those two women and the belt, plus he's a legitimatly be triple weight champ.

Yeah, 181 ain't even crazy tall, I'm just a little above average, taller than both my parents and my older brother, feels good being taller than most people, feeds my ego

In the ufc*

flushed

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>embrassed
Meant embraced

I wouldn't be talking shit about the 2020 champ there buddy

He does the most cringe camera close up when they show the other fighters at the event. At the Steipe fight they cut away from him in meer milliseconds

Ok, Blaydes vs Abdul might be work (title fight possibility is clogged, so might as well take a dive and get streak later).
But what the fuck are those odds.on Khabozo? Matchups like this are usually -600 to -800 range aka punchers chance. And does Dustbin even has it, khabum chin is not cracked?
HW (1punch KO) wrestlefuck with less skill difference is same odds as best mmgay wrasler that doesn't get hit?

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Is it against the rules to wrap your hands around someone's throat and just choke them till they tap?

Literally just coke head ramblings. If he tries to make a comeback now it's gonna be a disaster, need to sober up for at least a year first.

Because Dustin is free money but cazzies bet thinking OMG HE WRESTLES BEARS so it throws off the odds. Conor cracked that chin in the third round, Dustin will finish the job guaranteed.

No, that's just a standard front choke. That's legal even for white belt BJJ. It's not that practical, but it has been pulled off in MMA before.

No they didn't. DC was so gassed and hurt that he didn't know if he won round 2. His corner gave him good advice and told him to stop walking Stipe down with his hands low, DC didn't listen.

he spiked suga sean o'malley's drink and now suga is pulsing like Jones, but unlike Jones USADA has banned suga for life

>Max
Yeah keep dreaming loser

Admitted he was 100% in the wrong, said the guy was just there enjoying himself at the pub and didn't deserve to be assaulted, said he was ashamed using his martial arts training to assault people when it should be for defense, and said he took care of him months ago, ie, paid him a shitload of money.

I've never seen anyone do it

Anyone else notice the censors didn't catch Conor Mcgregor yelling"shit" during the latter part of the interview even though they bleeped out the earlier ones? It wasn't even a live interview, so no excuses for that. As an American I can't hear that type of language on my disney-owned sports network. for crissakes i was watching with my gf's son.

I'm tired ariel

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He seems really broken up about it.

youtube.com/watch?v=aTSgPzmehQM

I feel for him.

Khabib has only fought bums, Peahead is gunna TKO him

>The Conor meme is over
It's a sad feel lads

>Apologizing
Fake gangster

for me it's jorgan

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>sad feel
"no"

He was on the trajectory towards going down as the GOAT. If he stayed the course after Alvarez and ignored Mayweather he would have crushed Khabib with his elevated skills.

>he would have crushed Khabib
Oh yikes kid

You're daft if you STILL underrate Poirier

Like I said, it's not very practical and really easy to get out of. You have basically no leverage and rely solely on your grip strength. A RNC leverages your back muscles which are way stronger.

Mmm I thought I had seen some video of someone pulling it off in a MMA match, but I can't seem to find it. Maybe I'm confusing it with some other video I saw, because desu you would have to be a reaaaally shitty MMA amateur to get frontchoked.

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*sips*

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The Unified Rules Of Mixed Martial Arts:

8. Throat strikes of any kind and/or grabbing the trachea: No directed throat strikes are allowed. A directed attack would include afighter pulling his opponents head in a way to open the neck area for a striking attack. A fighter may not gouge their fingers or thumb into their opponent's neck or trachea in an attempt to submit their opponent. If during stand up action of a fight a punch is thrown and the punch lands in the throat area of the fighter, this shall be viewed as a clean and legal blow.

Man he looks like shit

Conquer your inner bitch.

grabbing the trachea: =/= front choke

Front chokes are legal. They're just retarded.

Remember Cruz saying "Oh no..." as Stipe heems DC

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*squints at the camera*
Ya know I can't really recall wha happened

Yeah I thought so. Good to know you can punch someone in the throat though.

Someone definitely got fired tonight

He's a good fighter, but he's way too cringe for me to like

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2019 is the year of the manlet

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user literally said "wrap your hands around someone's throat" not front choke. Please use your head.

Only if it's not on purpose though

You gotta support beeb. The potential mma goat represents Pycийя

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Like Conor with Aldo, beating Askren will be Masvidal's peak.
From here on he'll settle into his place as a gatekeeper.

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youtube.com/watch?v=6dHWb5T4ER8

>people are trying to bait me into things

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how long has this been online? this barely has any views

Front chokes aren’t retarded at all, Ezekiels are a very high percentage submission.

youtu.be/qq36ys5_Sz4

Go to 1:35:00

It was Askren's peak too

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3 hours

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kek

Musta been early days family. I still want to see someone get tapped out like this in the UFC

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Damn Toilet Till must have won this fight right?

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*squints*
*rubs chin*
>e-excuse me s-sir, would ya like a sho of propa 12?

Toilet Masvidal is journeyman bum

Based

Good. Fuck Masvidal. The Ashkren thing was kino though.

An ezekiel isn't a front choke. A front choke is a specific choke where you wrap your hands around someone's throat a.k.a. the rape choke. I don't literally mean "all chokes from the front are retarded", obviously they aren't. I'm saying the rape choke is retarded.

Is anything going to happen to Conor for hitting that old guy or did he just have to apologise on espn? Didn't that shit happen in April? Kek

What does that make Toilet Till? A shitter? Or just a can?

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>Le 1-2 man in southpaw position
Just spam one combo bro.

Out of court settlement shakedown most likely.

Champ in 2020 who only lost to flukes

based conor
we need to lift the darkness from sao paulo

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What did she put in Stipe's drink? We should wait a month before we start claiming him as the HW GOAT becuase I have a feeling he was on something

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He said Kennedy didn't grab Yoel's glove and that it should have been ruled TKO despite what John McCarthy said, fuck this guy

Woodley wrecked him lol perma-deleted that career

the classic

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chill out Nick

You mean Till wrecked Woodley. Tyron is one more pull out away from Bellator

>Till wrecked Woodley

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Guys what the actual fuck is this card we have over the weekend
>starts 3am

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that card is pozzed

>mfw Weili wins

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>everyone wants to fight Conor
>Conor says he wants to fight everyone
>hasnt booked anything

Why is he ducking so hard? He's basically got a free ticket to beat on any bum in 3 weight divisions and get a win back on the column without having to risk it against a champ.

I think it starts at 6 am

>Till wrecked Woodley
He gave Woodley a black belt after being dropped

he broke his hand

He can even fight Cejudo

prelims at 3, main at 6

Because he is a prize fighter you dork, he is only going to fight someone who will make him the most money, he doesn't care about beating up cans who "hespect" their opponents, he wants Khabib or Nate, that's basically it

>"I love Irish people, man. I'm just--I am fucking fascinated by the wildness of that culture." -Joe Rogan

Spinal

>mfw canor talking about wanting to fight fucking fronkie edgar, who is soon to be a 135er, as a tune up for khabib

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>Asking to fight Frankie who just got flushed by Max forever
Yeah this guy is and always will be a fraud fighter. Too bad he can't fight Brandao and Aldo forever.

Nothing like a scorching hot take about a fight from 5 fucking years ago

Manlets... when will they learn!?

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Kinda boring to watch

Khabib and Nate would starch him again, especially after another layoff. Lets not meme otherwise.

He should have taken the Cowboy fight months ago. It would sell more than Franke that fucking bore.

Don't think he gives a shit about getting starched when all he cares about is making tens of millions again in another fight, he probably has 1-2 more fights left max before he calls it quitsm prize fighters don't care about beating up cans

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>exposition
signing in the UFC
>rising action
destroying the featherweight division
>climax
becoming a two division champ
>falling action
losing to that nigger and Khabitch and him doing all those controversial things
>Dénouement
winning the rematch and proving you cazzie wrong

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>this

cringe but entertaining
youtube.com/watch?v=ff12pKSgSVQ

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>Lands 0 significant strikes against Woodley and only 1 total strike
A munster fer ser b

got em

cringe

DANA SAVE ME!

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needs el cuckboy tripping on the cord in the background

hahahahah

Redemption arc starts soon

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Fucking classic misdirection. This is some Pryor level shit.

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He should fight Ferguson

Think she let out a small brap while Lukes head was there? I mean, if it was there for at least an hour odds are the answers yes.

hes building up the hype rn
come next year hell fight Tony Ferg
for the LW title (spoiler: tony beats habibi for the belt) the biggest PPV of all time and he retires again.

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tony would turboflush him

Is that Rockhold? I wonder if that was after Jan broke his jaw. If that's the case then he couldn't even eat that ass unless he used a straw.

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>Panics and does an interview cause Nate doesn't care about him anymore

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Sheesh what's wrong with some of you people?

please respond

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I thought he was retired.

> conor
I'll be fighting till the day I die
> also conor
Hasn't fought in years

Khabib has ruined him. The only way he will be fighting till the day he dies is he kills himself after his next fight.

I think it's before.

prepare yourself

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>till the day I die

He hasn't died.

Debate me!

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Nate and Khabib are only famous for fighting McGregor. 99% of the people who know their names wouldn't if Conor didn't bless them with a red pantie night

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Why would Conor ever get to fight Khabib?
Khabib is shit but Conor is pic related.

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Learn to lose

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CONOR BLESS!

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>posting ufc 3 gameplay

refer to the official story here

ill beat the shit out of anyone itt but lose by knockout in the last second

Nah, he's pulling a Mayweather. Right now his dream scenario is a rematch with Diaz who is super hot and very winnable for him, and Poirier starching Kebab in a freak KO.

it's just his deluded fantasies, he's totally flushed

>a red pantie night
???
no idea wft that this supposed to mean but conor is he biggest has-been in mma. at least diaz and khabob have careers on the upswing.

>If I pretend to be demented I can ignore reality
Okay kiddo although I don't think youre pretending

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menstrual humor

Nate rings Nick... Baybie we did it!!! :^)

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>k-khabib actually won
Pathetic. Continue living in your fantasy land, bucko.

you'll lose by ko in the first second, m8, I promise

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Learn to take a bath... by yourself, homo!

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you'd break your hand and submit me in the third after i fuck up a judo throw and give up due to a preexisting injury then i'll retire

Nothing wrong with that according to Canor

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>Anyone, Tony Ferguson, Justin Gaethje, Holloway rematch, Aldo rematch, there's so many bouts for me Ariel, so many... and in reality it doesn't matter who. It's just about me getting back in and being, BEING who I am, not a shell of myself, not half committed.
Yeah, I'm thinking he's back

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Degrading the homeless is BASED

Last time Canor won a fight Obama was still president

Wow! The famous Irish banter and lightheartedness. You know, if Khabib hadn't won the fight, the story and the war, he might have replied with something witty and made the old man laugh. But we live in reality where Conor hit him with a left straight instead.

It has to be said, Khabib has ruined him. He won the battle, the war and the story and he has ruined poor little Coma McTapper for life. He can't take a joke, he's hooked on cocaine, he's in a failing relationship and his legacy gets pissed away that bit more everyday. It wouldn't surprise me if he kills himself in the coming years. Khabib has ruined him. He's sent Coma McTapper into a deep depression that he won't ever rise from.

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i doubt it but that'd be sick

4D chess... he did it because he knows deep down MudSlimes are faggots!

Jamie pull up that video of those mudslimes who take boys to war to rape them and dress them up like little girls.

Let's take stock of the events.
What did Khabib win?
>The fight
Okay, now what did Conor win?
>the standup of the fight
>the third round of the fight
>the overcoming adversity of the fight by fighting with a broken foot
>the minimising damage taken of the fight, came out unheemed
>the honour of the fight by Khabib chimping out and his teammates attacking poor defenceless Conor
>the money of the fight
>the family of the fight by having a big titted non-towel to return to after the fight
>the promo buildup of the fight by heeming the bus and ray borg and gave rose PTSD with the dolly while Khabib stayed inside
>the twitter war of the fight by verbally 10-8ing Khabib with the towel and goat comments
>the nobility of the fight by putting over Khabib as a big star due to khabib beating him
>the humility of the fight by not being rude afterwards, even when Khabib chimped out, and solely said "good knock. Looking forward to the rematch"
>the banter of the press conference of the fight by having a drink of Proper 12 with Dana while Redditbib refused to drink because muh relijin
>the world war of the fight by driving Russians into a frenzy with his comments about Putin and the chechens
>The love and admiration of heemsters worldwide

So you see, after all of these things, can you really say that Khabib won? I think that all of these things add to Conor winning the story of the fight, and thus, pretty much winning him the fight.

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You're seething senseless! Just enjoy the fights and stop self-inserting into them you loser!

tl;dr

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>you loser!

Now I know you're 12!

ALOHA SNACKBAR, MudSlime!

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reminder conor took canbib 4 rounds on a broken foot

Dry those eyes and move on with your life

Al didn't tap
Barboza didn't tap
Canor tapped

Name ONE good khabib win. (conor doesn't count , he had a broken foot)

Eyepokes are so easy to avoid. Taking a point and they're gone. Even if it's an accident. You should be punished for risking someone's safety and being so shit at using your hands you so that.

dry this *unzips penis and pisses all over your gay face* lmao pussy u still there? oh you are? *takes you down*

Canor fans confirmed latent homosexuals

it was an illegal choke

Reminder that mid-fight he begged for Khabib to take it easy on him.
>It's just business

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there's nothing wrong with being gay you insecure freak. maybe get out of that cave and join the rest of humanity mmkay honeyboo?

Are there really cazzies ITT that think conor doesn't win the rematch?

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Stop crying and writing fan-fiction. Take your meds then go to bed. You have school tomorrow.

MudSlimes confirmed for goat fuckers!

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Al Iaquinta is legit and a good win for Khabib

Aldo wins the rematch though

100% juicing not even a fucking chance she's not

did conor win or lose the story of the interview?

>Has that image saved on his computer
You're probably already on a special watch-list incel

Wins in 26 seconds!

Conor wins all rematches

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All of them except Mcgregor. That was the easiest fight of his career.

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>incel

Have Sex: The Post.

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Conor's feet look fine, if either of his feet were broken 3 weeks prior) it'd still be swollen as fuck

sorry, sweety, we aren't all 12 like you. good luck though you have a lot of growing up left to do!

Nah I disagree, I'm sure Aldo whoops him.

>we aren't all 12 like you
>can't even spell "sweetie"
What a dumbass

Conor is a faggot and his dickriding fans are faggots too

khabibsexuals seething rn

I saw Khabib Nevermakesweightdov at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen CBD oils in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each CBD and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

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rent free

oh no he's so embarrassed and dejected he can't even reply to me anymore :'(, that's okay, hun, we all feel a little insecure sometimes. you're perfect the way you are

He wasn't even top 10 when Khabib fought him and Al took the fight on 24 hours notice. In fact, Al was barley top 15 (I think he was #14) before they moved him up to #11 for accepting the fight. RDA is unironically Khabib's only impressive win and it was in 2014.

Yes right there Khabib sir don't stop

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wow what an asshole

khabib "can crusher" duckagomedov

t minus 30 days before Poirier becomes just another can on his record. You Canor Beckies are something else.

>When she took one of the bars
Fix this plz

Why is Connor ducking Aldo? Is it cause he's scared he knows he'll lose the rematch and the trilogy?

I'll just leave this here...

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OH NO NO NO

Name 4 non-manlet fighters that Canor has beaten.

Because he's still mad Aldo made him wait a year for a title shot.

I'm not a Canor fan I'm just stating facts. Al isn't that good of a fighter. Look at how cowboy dominated him for 5 rounds. I like Al as a fighter, but he's just tough he's not a legit top 10 fighter. RDA is Khabib's best win and either Conor or Barboza is second. Look at his record if you don't believe me.

Why are you talking about cans like Conor and Khabib when you could be talking about Tony instead?

instagram.com/p/B1d9JSzBlE-/

Khabib sent himself into diabetic shock just to duck tony. This is your GOAT?

>4
Why 4? Did you count 3 or something?

>Al isn't top 10
You're a 189er and this is exactly how I know how.
>RDA is Khabib's best win
By that logic, RDA is also Tony's best win.

Name 1!

>bumson barboza
>al Icanta
>1 foot Conor 2 years removed from fighting
b-beast of a peach forshure

Daily heeminder that El Cucuy is undefeated!

I think Tony is a pretty cool guy. Eh kills HWs and doesnt afraid of anything.

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Based

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He's gonna start smashing holes in the wall again isn't he

Khabib is Tony’s best win

Name a single decent fighter Canor has beaten. We all already know he hasn't beaten any good fighters, but I'm wondering if anyone can list a single decent fighter he's beaten. Can't think of one. Brandao maybe?

Please stop shitting on Conor.

youtube.com/watch?v=Aaehn1aY8Ig

Huh? Is this you larping more again?

NOOOO Tony... PPLZ.... NOOO!

SAVE ME ALI!!! WHERE'S NOAH BY THE WAY?

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Nate lol

He ducked tony so khabib conceded

Memes have run their course, it's time for Yea Forums to evolve into a post-meme board

Tony "Reddit's #1 fighter el Cringuy" Ferguson "tripped" on a wire and busted up his knee to avoid getting mauled by Khabib.

Aldo lol

>Someone who just lost to Volkanovski
>Decent
Try again m8

Chael planted the wire to protect khabib. Look into it

>B-but R-reddit likes him
Cope

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The smell

Everytime Dee gets on top and Canor closes his eyes he remembers what Khabib did when he was on top

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Literally voted r/mma's favorite fighter lol back to plebbit loser boy

Conor wins the rematch

El Cucuy confirmed for Dark Brotherhood!

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Nah Duffy subs him again

>Are we pretending 8 title wins is even good?
Cope harder. Conor is the one who flushed him.

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coping
THIS
h a r d

>Knowing this much about r/mma
Yeah fer ser I'm the one who should go back

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Where is Canor on that list? Surely he has at least 5 title defenses? Or 4? Or 3? Or 2? or even one! Does he have at least 1 title defense bro?

See Time to go back!!!!

>When you have to resort to posting deepfakes

You kabib nuthuggers are sad

>referencing reddit graphs
Time for you to return redditbiber

Khabibsexuals in damage control right now. Their boy has been exposed as a can crusher and everyone is waking up to that fact. Now they're pretending Conor was never good and that Tony is plebbit. The absolute state of Khabibsexuals.

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>When you have to resort to larping and hardcore coping

I blame anime

jesus fuck get over it, no one uses one form of social media at once. find another reason for the fighter you like to be more heem. enough gatekeeping it's Yea Forums of all places, all of Yea Forums uses their sports subreddit as a news feed

Now that Tony has in many ways already beat Khabib and won the title, who should he fight next? For me it is El Cucuy vs Gaycheese

After you sir, and take El Redditer back with you!

It’s all they have

Conor didn't come here to take part... he came here to take over!

He has better things to do than to stick around one division! He became a champ champ TWICE in two different companies... made 100m fighting the GOAT of boxing and made 1 BILLION dollars selling his own brand of Whiskey!

A title defense... PFFTTT

How rich are the title defenders!? He's a conqueror HE TAKES!

s e e t h e for me boy! :^)

>Not knowing the difference between title wins and title defenses
>Changing the subject because you were proven wrong
Do you ever get tired of coping?

Canor was never good and Tony has never beaten a single champion that Khabib didn't previously maul. Cope with that fact incel!

tl;dr fatboy

Keep your coping to 1 sentence or less

t. reddit

Looks to me like Conor won the 1st, 3rd, and was going to win the 4th if Khabib didn't get lucky with the sub

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Why!? Because you can't read more than 5 words!?

Nate and you can only count to 5! :^)

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Don't drag me into this leaf. I'm not the one pulling out plebbit graphs out my ass like the butthurt Khabibsexual.

Aldo didn't lose to Conor. He tripped and Big John stopped it early. Still waiting for you to name a single decent fight Conor has ever beaten. Name JUST ONE!

>browsing heem just to defend another man on an anonymous website
lmao yall niggas DOOPY

Khabib has literally never won a story, much less a war.

>I'm not the one pulling out plebbit graphs
Yeah you're just the one writing cringe fan-fiction like these as a fan fiction >yfw it's been almost a year and you're still seething about how the fight ended

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Conor won the third round with a broken freakin foot

>S-see now everyone on heem is plebbit b-because of this graph
kek r/mma is full of 229ers. Heem was with Tony way before 229 you cazzie. Just accept people like Tony and Conor way more than the can crushing paper champ.

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Write me another paragraph cope that I won't read LOL

>why yes, my wife's boyfriend Khabib did let me have the Wii U today

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E D D I E

A L V A R E Z

Seethe harder!

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t.reddit

Try again sweetie

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>A can who just got cut and lost his first fight in Japan
Is this your GOAT?

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Khabib with a broken foot couldn’t beat Conor

Why!? Because the truth hurts!?

:^)

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>Y-you're R-reddit
kek

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>Keeps his copes to one sentence just like he was told
Good boy do as you're told little man.

With a broken foot

A "can" who KO'ed RDA while Khabib couldn't finish him?!

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Yes you are.

>Le I know you're a dumb guy... but what am I?

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Khabib will be the last can from aka flushed in 2019 and it will be beautiful

IS THIS YOUR GOAT????

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Keep doing as you're told little man.

I don't even know what anime is faggot checkm8

Is THIS you goat?!

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Canor was never good.

so butiful

Go see a therapist for having that on your computer. Go before it's too late.

>little man
>me

Lol, good one. Seethe harder.

your*

look at their faces
look at how old conor looks
especially compared to ariel
you now realize that ariel is 37 whereas conor is only 31

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Do as you're told ya little sheikh servant

>Implying I can't just type "goats that mudslimes love meme pictures" and upload it.

There are the easiest types of people to break on the internet.

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*wins*

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>The loser who searches up goat images is also a tripfag
You know...I wish I could say I was surprised...Go see that therapist before you harm others and yourself.

THESE* Are the easiest people to troll on the internet.

Your tears are delicious.

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Looks like you forgot to turn off your trip brainlet boy. No need to reply twice.

How would Osama have done at MMA?

>The "loser"

Now I know what they call you in school, kid! :^)

I love the projection keep the seethe coming!! :^)

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he'd get deep sixed

he was a lanklet, could easily exploit his range

not sure about skills, but build wise there are styles he could use

>Forgot

I just turned it on so you know exactly who you've been talking to for the past 30 minutes, kid! :^)

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his upper eye lids are collapsing
is this due to having irish genes or is it the coke or all the sparring?

go to 3:46
his pronunciation of "fighter" in "to be a better fighter" is so weird lol

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>Gets mogged so badly he has to turn on his trip
>Replies to me twice but forgots to turn it off
Your mental state is horrific. Last (you) cause trips are demented and don't deserve attention. Those 5 paragraph posts you were writing should've tipped me off that you were a literal basket case who feeds off attention from strangers.

Get help. I mean it. Something is terribly wrong with you.

did not read your wall of text.

Are you mad?! :^)

Khabib gave him CTE

*wins*

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he looks like a 30 days of night vampire

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Shut up spammy

Baby's first belt! :^)

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imagine if you will, it is 2015, a helicopter picks up bruce buffer, joe rogan, and mario yamasaki

they fly for 12 hours and land in pakistan.

the co-pilot removes his helmet, it is Tim Kennedy

seal team 6 has assembled an octagon on his secret estate and decked bin laden in a fight kit

"it's Time"

"Mario makes his hand hearts and Tim Kennedy goes for the double Leg"

Here
Everyone
Envies
Muslims

Running a 1 BILLION dollar Whiskey business and balancing the 4.2 Billion dollar UFC has aged him... dare I say!?? ..... PROPERly!? :^)

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What happened, "little man"?! Did you run of of big boy words?! :^)

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Canor: Ahhhh nooooo its only business its only business ahhhhh
Dee: What's wrong babe
Canor: Sorry Khab...I mean babe... I was 'aving nightmares again
Dee: What about babe?
Canor: UFC 229 again he wont leave me be he just wont let me be

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aye

Round three. Rent free.

see alsosweaty. conor was shook

>Yeah you're just the one writing cringe fan-fiction like these as a fan fiction

>Writes fan fiction

The absolute state of KutBib fanboys! :^)

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> Did you run of of

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Do you agree /HEEM/?

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no offence bro but you might just be the worst non-spammy poster itt

His incessant infidelity is conspicuously absent.

revved

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wtf is this

post gay erotic literature edits

I didn't write this...

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Khabib's best win was in 2014. His next best win was against a fighter with a broken foot.

kek

/heem/ never fails

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yeah, watching the interview, wtf its wrong with his eyes? They are barely open and the upper part is about to collapse

Is this real? No wonder why he shit on every other candidate kek

>Cutbabby that failed to show because of cutbabbying/injuries
>0 proper heems, just 3 submissions of striker bums
>basically, will go to questionable decision against anybody who can wrestle at WW because he can neither heem no submit anyone decent even at manletweight
>"fights" once a fucking year despite picking opponents and fighting cans/strikers
Yawn

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>Conor announces he's back and fights Tony, there's quite a lot of hype
>after some early pressure by Tony, Conor lands a straight down the pipe. Ko in 1, Tony is asleep, reddit is in disbelief
>Khabib is shook and scared and fakes an injury, 1 year of recovery
>Gaethje and Conor is booked next
>the first round is nasty and violent with Gaethje getting dropped multiple times and Conor's leg getting smashed with leg kicks
>second round starts and after getting tagged by a 5-2, Gaethje shoots a sloppy double, being too wobbly to think clearly
>easy guillotine for The Notorious, Justin goes to sleep. POTN and FOTN bonuses are the cherry on top
>after missing weight (148.6) and losing his belt to Volkanovski, Max decides to go up in weight again and he's matched with Conor for an interim belt
>Max micropenis is shown on camera again
>the stadium is full, the atmosphere is tense, Max looks like a proper 155er now with the perfect amount of muscles and many think his pace will be too much for Conor, the fight begins
>a 1-1-2 and Max is staggered, clearly the damage Max took in his whole career is now showing, Conor wobbles him easily many times and his footwork and reach is too much for young Max
>Conor wins by tko in 2 minutes 35 seconds of round number two in a one-sided fight with Conor consistently landing his shots and Max incapable of connecting more than a single punch at the time
>meanwhile Aldo tries to go down to 135 and fight Cejudo but ends up in coma after a terrible weightcut
>Khabib is finally back after the UFC threatens to strip him for inactivity and the anticipated rematch is now reality
(1/2)

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even if he never gets the title, Dustin can always claim the finest wife in the game

>after the week of costant trashtalking, with Conor consistently attacking Khabib's past ducking and padded record but also admitting with maturity that he's commited mistakes in the past, the fight night is here
>round 1 goes as expected with Khabib evading a stand up fight by shooting for Conor's legs but Conor's improved lateral movement and takedown defense is too much
>after stuffing all but one of Khabib's takedowns, Conor lands a crisp hook behind Khabib's ear right as the first round ends
>Khabib is clearly on unsteady feet when retreating to his corner, the irish crowd starts singing, the muslims yell in rage
>it is now round 2, Conor is smiling, Khabib isn't
>Conor ups the pressure with multiple feints hiding the lighting quick shots, Khabib tries to fake a takedown and throws an overhand
>Conor's foot isn't broken this time and he slips the punch and connects his straight, Khabib nose is broken and bleeding
>the round ends, Khabib right eye is swelled up, his nose can't stop bleeding, both fighters are breathing heavily
>round 3 starts, Conor goes on the offense and starts boxing up the Dagestani but gets taken down, nice trip Khabib
>for 1 minute Conor is on bottom, but there's no damage, only control.
>the ref stands them up as Khabib swears in russian and Artem screams that now it's the time
>Conor nods, feints a straight, throws a lead oblique leg, Khabib tries to throw a 1-4, but gets timed
>left straight perfectly touches the russian's chin, he goes down, two hammerfists, the ref stops it
>the muslim crowd is silent while everyone else around the world and in the arena cheers, the king is back
(2/2)

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Conor's stutter reminds me of when Obama would say "uhhh" after every word, both are probably forced to make them sound more relatable

In many ways, he's already won

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kek

then you ought to go back to wherever the fuck you came from, this is a site for weebs

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Conor saying he wants to fight Tony Ferguson is hilarious. Conor was intentionally kept away from him for years by UFC Brass because they know Tony would permaflush him

If Conor actually fights Tony and somehow wins I'll have no doubt he beats Khabib in the rematch and the trilogy

My favorite part of heem is that a fighter will have a horrible knockout like Till or Askren and their fans will go into hiding for a month and then they'll pop back up saying it was a fluke. The only time it's worked is with Stipe, but he was already proven to be a legend before he got knocked out by DC.

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Same here brother, I was rooting for him, but when he started blatantly using eyepokes again, and almost finished Stipe due to that, he lost both my support and also the story of the fight.

BASED

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Y NUEVO:

No one is reading your garbage Salvio

She couldn't even beat top women bantamweights.

He submitted canor

>eye-poke

if you read the rules, there is literally no reason not to eyepoke, they are never penalized

>mfw DAT PIVOT

why is Stipe so nice?

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His fight with Moraes was insane

Tony heems him 9 out of 10

b&r posting