/cric/ - The Cricket

i have no fucking clue. i have the same problem. think i've got deathgrip from fapping too much so my dick's not sensitive at all. might have to stop fapping for extended periods of time

1.20pm: Things have brightened up considerably, to the extent it looks as though we shouldn't be far off that resumption time. "Brightest sun of day now," reports George. "Covers starting to come off."

boys

I do man, I was so fucking hard while getting my dick sucked beforehand but as soon as I was inside it started going floppy.

life is extremely grim atm, looking foward to classic though

If they try that show your passport shit with you again either just tell them to fuck off or ignore them and they can scream at the fucking wall.

what server you playing on mate I would like to know at least one person

Fuck me, forgot Ryan Harris
He was sucha great bowler

That was your subconscious reacting to her being a loose slag.

Literally WHAT?

golemagg x

have you not seen him post his tinder escapades here? he uses the same line on every girl where he literally just asks them why theyre not sucking his cock right now. has some success with it.

Bad news... or maybe good news depending on who you support.

The rain delay is expected to carry on well into the second session.

twitter.com/FoxCricket/status/1164515334813962240

>success
>couldn't get hard for a desperate 38yo single mother

>cricinfo says its sunny
>foxcricket says its rainy
who the FUCK do i trust lads?

Do you think the Aus and Eng teams will be playing wow classic in between tests lads?

Has there been any follow up to that? Last I heard (during the first test) a single mother was going over to suck his cock on a Monday or whatever after she dropped the kids off at school.
An user may have cockblocked him though due to contact info being in the screenshots.

Fuck. Just want to see some cricket.

see

nvm then I resubbed too late to roll there
they havent made nearly enough servers, only 4 english speaking pvp servers? 2 are full, the 3rd one nearly is as well and the game isn't even out yet

wasn't that with a different girl where the posted her info?

whats this about then? i must have missed those posts. guessing it was the sunday session i was away for

watching OG vs EG while seething at ICC incompetence

based sebbo

>all the classic lads in /cric/
based boros

This isn't going well.

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You lads reckon playing cricket in spain would be a good idea? i think the climate suits, fuck england

nah that's the same one, 38 yo single mother and he left her snap exposed. nothing happened, she went over in the nothing to give him a blowie and he couldn't get hard lmao

Think it was the mother with the contact info. The stripper was before her but believe that was just back and forth talking.

>video games
have sex femcel

>8.40am Meanwhile, I can see some umbrellas and covers. We are in for a damp start to the series, I am afraid.
Looks like Ind vs wi is also grim kek

>video games
red flag if ever i've seen one

>1.40pm: No umbrellas up in crowd, and the last of the covers is on its way off.

1.40pm: No umbrellas up in crowd, and the last of the covers is on its way off.

iberia is dust country

Restart in 15 mins lads.

nah she's into you, keep at it
try and steer the conversation back to your penis

What's the best website to follow the cricket on lads?

Sick of the BBC live text. Also I flicked back to the news section to see whats going on and there's yet another article about Muslims and how they are victimised. Fuck sake. Any good aussi ones?

at the ground

covers on lads

>1.40pm: No umbrellas up in crowd, and the last of the covers is on its way off. And we have some news! The restart will be at 2pm, it's been confirmed.
lad get fucked
beat you to it

The restart will be at 2pm, it's been confirmed.

ask her if she's going to paly classic wow, lad.

Ask her what video games and make cal her a noob if it isn’t mount and blade or anything paradox interactive

espn cricinfo

Is this the kind of opener women like?

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Girl with headphones in that Samsung ad is cute but looks like she's having a seizure.

a certain kind of woman

have sex

Do they root ugly men like myself?

Fuck the ground staff must be shit

Already had it

only desperate single mothers

>Rain has delayed start for all three tests today
Rain is fucking grim lads

ICC decision making is much more grim

He wasnt talking to you Sebbo
plan to go to the broth in a few months la

Hello lads any new graphs to share? Got a wee holiday courtesy of our irish friend.

You're not wrong.

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so has cricket ever heard of having a non-laggy stream once in a while?

I was enjoying that WACA 2013 replay

Yeah lad
Got a great stream here for Aussies
9now.com.au/live/channel-9

Love the subtle changes in emojis each time

Based

Whats the third test?

It made me remember Ryno
Why did he have to get such a late start to his career lad

What was the post?

my test-es, on your mothers face

He was the literal unironically >heavyball bowler.

West Indies East Indies

NZ v Sri Lanka was first test
Aus v Eng was second
India v WI was third

Thank you

Thought that hadnt started and cricinfo said it was sunny

You will have to deal with a bunch of curries and all their comments they pick just be aware

As the 3rd #Ashes test starts, our advice to take those wickets during a long day is to #HydrateFeelGreat It's what Winfirth Newburgh cricket club are doing, using their new refillable water bottles to hit dehydration for six and reduce the use of single-use plastics #ENGvAUS

can't stop smoking bongs and eating lads

i dont know but i feel as if i wouldn't even like the kind of women who'd like this. i just want a nice wholesome gf, not a degenerate slut ;_;

at least try to stop eating lads

>8.40am Meanwhile, I can see some umbrellas and covers. We are in for a damp start to the series, I am afraid.

He was literally a medium pace trundler until he suddenly became able to bowl fast

I'm gay lads.

Any True (poo) Geordie updates?

And that's ok

Repent

>Bimal: "Game would have started by now had the groundsmen were Sri Lankans!"
epic burn

meant for

Well bros, the gf showed the flowers/wine/choccies to her mum, and now is asking about commitment.

4 eps into Mindhunter S2 lads, what do I think so far?

can you elaborate on what she means by calling herself a slut? does she cheat on you?

i just want a nice wholesome gf, not a degenerate slut ;_;

learn to lucid dream that's the only way you'll find one.

Fuck off

She is very promiscuous, as am I. We are in an open relationship. Her lifetime partner count is less than my 2019 count alone, so not sure why she is so upset. Recently she had a herpes scare, which turned out to just be thrush, but she was crying and wondering if that was a "wake up call to stop being a hoe" and commit to me.

>"look mum! I found a desperate beta wallet I can manipulate!"

ditch the bitch, your personal happiness comes above a relationship

warner on the ropes here

griget :D

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Whats a par score here lads?

jesus christ why would anyone commit to a girl like this?

exciting times

You’re a stupid mong. Please don’t have children.

286

grim post

>Her lifetime partner count is less than my 2019 count alone
...mate

>promiscuous woman
>has had stds
>he thinks shes had less partners in her whole life than a him in 2019
holy mother of delusion

Just 13 more play an misses until warner's finally good enough to get a nick on one.

It's occuring to me that Warner's actually a bit shit

>we're in an open relationship guys
yet you buckle under the pressure of her crying and fix it with $200 bucks worth of useless shit. you're a fucking idiot

>Warner 1* (16)
Looking a bit grim & dire for Warner about now lads

GONE GOT HIM

FUCK RIGHT OFF

this has to be a troll

>Her lifetime partner count is less than my 2019 count alone

Yeah but how many dicks has she sucked?

I'm on 27 for 2019 and she's on 24 lifetime, according to her private notes on her phone that I looked at.

She's definitely the best of the bunch, that's why she's my official gf, rather than one of the side girls. But not sure I'd go exclusive with a girl like this.

>COME ON JOFFIE

Hey :) Why are you not here with that beautiful cock wrapped around my lips right now? ;)

fewer partners

Reckon I could nick Warner's missus

you're fucked m8, you brought it on yourself. Continue with the relationship or get out, but at some point theres going to be some pain.

Sorry to be a negative kunt

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based.

>according to her "private" notes that she planted on her phone for me to look at.

ftfy
Oh boy you're a naive one.

>Bowling 135km/h~ pies
Archer is done for
He was a slope baby all along

Wow ESPN cric info is way better than the BBC cuckfest. Thanks

>24

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>she's my official gf
>not sure I want to commit
>women have too much power over me bros

you're a legitimate idiot or a retard troll, either way remove yourself from the gene pool

>s-she’s fucked less then me
youtu.be/QCLYDpNwvlw

27 for the year, amazing. Online or day/night game?

Be careful what you wish for.

would not mind a blowie and some coke lads

If you want to watch the game get a aussie proxy and try this 9now.com.au/live/channel-9

Snooping your partners phone is not cool mate

Mate, even if she's sucked 1000 cocks I wouldn't care as long as she still sucks mine. I'd still wager my lifetime count is higher than her, given I'm on 132 right now.

REVIEW IT
IT WAS WITHIN A FOOT OF HIS BAT

he's not a slope he is black

>partner
she's called a girlfriend/fiancee/wife you poof

cricket's looking grim

>literally counting that high

Warner is shook harder than this mong who buys flowers

warner is due lads

Are you a rugby man yourself?

You've sucked 132 cocks?
That's a fair innings mate.

>he is so insecure about his partner having sex with others that he keeps track of how many different people he has had sex with and says it is fine because she has had less

How do you pick up Sudanese chicks lads?

Why wouldn't you keep count?

A mate, on 99 birds shagged, takes back a girl he'd been for drinks with. We (his housemates) all hide behind furniture in the living room when he came back. He starts his foreplay and asks her if she'd mind if he wore cricket gloves whilst they had sex, since it was a bit of a fetish thing for him. She looked confused but said fine, he goes into bag and puts them on. Then asks if he can wear pads, then finally a helmet. Fully padded up, proceeds to enter her and after about 3 minutes (LAD) comes, flicks on the main light switch. We all pop up from behind the sofa with rousing applause and cries of "THATS THE CENTURY!!", he grabs his cricket bat, removes his helmet and acknowledges the crowd. She bursts into tears, dresses quickly and runs out of the front door. She left her pants. LAD'

warner on his way to a solid 9 (40)

I think I would probably care if my gf had sucked 1000 dicks
that is a lot of dicks

Warner is in

it's too late, England might as well forfeit

imagine having to lie about your sex life on /cric/

Yeah but he unironically doesn't know how many cocks she's sucked!
How could he overlook the cocksucking?

Southern or Arab?

Thread's a bit tense. Might post some tinder screenshots

>nah i dont care that the potential mother of my children has sucked 1000 cocks, had stds, and fucked other guys while with me

now thats some quality british humour, please be real

Time to be honest with the /cric/ bros. Post your actual experience. I'm 21, had sex with 5 different girls, one was fat.

>not reviewing that LBW
what a cuck root is

its 2019 everyone is polyamorous now incel

I'm a volcel virgin

Warner is cooked, England will get him out within 5 overs

le epic

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whats the shemale situation like on tinder lads?

Beat me to it.

The ones who live in Melbourne (black as the night sky)

at least ten thousand girls at this point, easy

Real women are a joke.
For me it's Azula.

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i've had sex with 1 girl. could have been 3 but i completely fucked up with both of them.

Because sex is sex and is honestly not something worth keeping track off as men especially

Did she call for the review?

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Please tell me this is real

get archer off

>yeah mate 27 this year
>132 total

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For those still interested in the Indian v WI game
>9.10am The sun is out. Both teams are out practising. We will have an inspection by 9:20am. If conditions are good, the toss will take place at 9:30am.

is Geoffra cooked?

Does it count when you stuck the end of your peepee into a girl from school when you were 10?

Secret plan reveal: soon

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I hope so because then I am on 1

Been a while since i have seen this pasta

Reckon I will get the lads around to do this for my 1

Matched with this one in Sydney but haven't spoken to him yet.

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psychologically yes, mentally no

do you use this line on every single girl that matches with you?

30, fucked 14 girls. first two were the best had a 2 year relationship with number 5 a 30yo single mother kids were never around (split custody and I'll only visit when they were asleep) cheated on me with a co-worker who she said rapper her, been all downhill since then

Is that including whores? I wunce fkt a fat whore. Not my proudest moment.

Sex life is like Warner's batting average lads.

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had sex with 4 women, 3 were paid for

My nigga

honestly would

25 year old virgin neet. been hit on by countless girls but sperged out everytime and ran home

>Archer still bowling medium pace pies
Should listen to Holding tbqh senpai
Stop overworking the black man

If they're muslim girls forget about it unless you're going to convert and marry or if you see them out drinking. If they're not, and if they're southern Sudanese which is what I'd think if they're really dark, have you tried talking to them?

warner still on his way to a convincing 9(40)

KEK NICE POOVIEW

NOWHERE NEAR IT

Most of the time. Sometimes I change it up and go for the less vulgar "why are you not here with those beautiful lips pressed against mine right now? *smug emoji*"

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GONE FUCK OFF GET OUT YA FUCKING ABBO CUNT

FUCK OFF

might get ya old man to hand you your baggy green dinger haha

>reviewing that

loving it, are you a good looking dude?

So fucking grim

>not walking
what a cheating cunt. disgraceful

wizard neet

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>getting strangled down the legside

JUST

F U C K
O
F
F

G O N E
O
N
E

>cuckwaja

interesting. what type of girl does this normally work on? mentally and morally bankrupt ones only?

get fucked you useless diversity quota koala cunt

GOT HIM

GET THAT FUCKING PAKI OFF
USELESS CUNT

WALK YOU FUCKING SPANNER

SAME OLD AUSSIES

ALWAYS CHEATING

Bloody hell these umpires suck
Just get rid of them and have every potential wicket be checked by DRS stuff

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Yeah, but that's the kind of girl you get on tinder. There are higher quality girls on Bumble

33, fucked 35.

Feels like pure shit, just want steve smith back

>pissman pooweeja

12. Most at uni. Settled down now.

:]

top lad

I see. Never tried either honestly. Thanks, lad.

SAME OLD AUSSIES

NEVER WALKING

not bad mate

Fingers crossed for lasagnabake here.

Come on Marnus, I believe in you

>hahaha time for Loose Bus Change
Prepare your Anus for Smith 2.0

>most of the time

Why lie to her? Women aren't THAT stupid.
>"sometimes it actually DOES"
>"it's a numbers game really"

Don't think they get much attention from white guys (if thats what you are) so just bank on the fact that she's probably flattered you're hitting on her

SAME OLD AUSSIES

still got to get Smith out la.... oh wait

Based rightchad boutta show these leftcucks how it's done.

*solves Smith*

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41 years old, I only count the nationalities. I'm on 11 so far, though married now so unlikely to improve that score.

Point of interest, both of the American ones where called melissa

Murder ball wins again

ALWAYS CHEATING

I think i am in love lads

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>"Aussies"

Never liked that Paki cunt anyway, I'm GLAD he's out.

>41 year old married man browsing /cric/

ALWAYS NONCEING

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Honestly, how is this light okay? It's pitch fucking black and the cheating Poms are bowling express pace.

Reminder that Right hand batsman are superior and lefties are cucks

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rolf did nothing wrong

warner literally looks like he's going to get out every single delivery

>these plays
i wasn't aware russian roulette was a batting style

>l'aubergine

tfw England had to import a big black bowler and bend the rules to injure smith out of the game.

>cope

SAME OLD AUSSIES, ALWAYS SEETHING.

Eyes too close together

Reminder that the queen protects pedophiles

dw lads Marnus "literally Bradman" Shabby Labia is out there now

I thought Warner was meant to be good lads?

>It's pitch fucking black
his names Jofra mate

>watching Warner bat

Still on pace for that 9(40)

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Australia has a Paki batsman

Check out his instagram, most wholesome guy ever.

Don't worry lad
Smith redemption second arc next test, where he belts Archer across the field for a quickfire double ton

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Hahhahahahhahhahha

COLLAPSE

>bringing our rules into line with the ICCs is beinding the rules
fucking state of you lad

>lebbo shane with the Smith-esque leave style

my dear bros

WARNER HAS BROKEN 10 GET READY FOR A THRASHING ENGLAND IT'S OVER, YOU'VE LET HIM GET BACK INTO FORM

*leaves a wide ball*
>OHHHHHHHHHHHH! real close one that

29, sexually active for 11 years. A pair of three year relationships with a bunch of bad decisions in between. Upwards of 50, the last missus was not happy to discover this (I was not the one to tell her). Only three new birds this year.

>tfw you will never have Labuschagne's child
feeling a bit grim here lads

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*Broad half-appeals anyway*

You say that to mentally cook the batsman
this pisses me off

>Archer bowling mid 80s

He's cooked after being overbowled last match

Massively confused about Warner still being on the field.

>b-b-b-but that's just the standard ICC rules
What other players were specifically imported for the sole purpose of playing for the national team within the shortest time period allowed?

WAIT OOOON
WAITING!

you and him both

hmm Cricinfo says warner is on 12, stream says he's on 11

Is Roy just in the team to shine balls?

only australian century we'll see in this test

*root reviews*

Predicting 71(182)

Looks like a par 70 pitch Australia are well ahead of the pace here

Really hoping for a redemption arc

No, he's also there to drop catches.

Where were you when David Warner scored the first 500 in test cricket? Me, I was watching day 2 of the 3rd test during the 2019 ashes

KEK

Zoot review*

Warner 161(356)

So you did spend the next $200 on drugs rather than flowers. Good lad.

pure comfy here lads

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A stoic innings from Warner over these past two days.
>47(209)

Walkers
Kettle
Golden wonder (c)
Wotsit
Quaver
Discos
Pringles (wk)
Skips
Hula Hoops
Doritos
Monster munch

Confident

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only twitch streamer i was is asmongold

It just feels right when a righty is on strike. Fuck left handed batsmen.

>when you cook your X factor bowler on an inevitable draw

ROOTED

>labuschagne doing the smith autism leave
It's like his spirit left his body and found a new home

Swap Skips out for Space Raiders.

good tabs lad

>Archer is still bowling medium pace pies
Root killed a man and got away with it
or Archer was exposed today and he can only bowl fast using the slope

The spirit of bradman

>crunchyroll
>animelab
are you seriously telling me you dont just download horriblesubs (or wait for fansubs)?

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>le meme tabs lol xD

for me, it's the crop tool

>There are higher quality girls on Bumble
you mean girls who have either finished their slut phase or haven't started it yet

Broad's hairline looking particularly JUST this test

and yet he's still so fucking handsome. its not fair bros

Came to Aus when he was 1 lol.

>fansubs
>2019
oh no no no no

>he fails to see my nyaa bookmark
my crunchy roll and anime lab are for screenies purely
the other bookmarks are real which i use occasionaly

>beat batsman comprehensively time after time
>get absolutely nothing for it
>get it completely wrong and angle the ball down the wrong side of the pitch
>pick up a wicket
Defend this.

>haven't started it yet

HOW DO I SIGN UP FOR THIS "BUMBLE" GIZMO?

this man knows

I mean girls who are looking for relationships rather than a hookup or instagram/snapchat followers.

>Choosing to change the rules for a gun player JUST before the world cup and Ashes.

Hahahaha ok mate

I guess that's just how the cricket crumbles

>that warner nod

HE'S GOT IT BACK BOYS

Haven't watched anime in a while.
Might end up rewatching Evangelion for the 4th time.

I feel like he would face more balls than that but it's your vision

Keen lad
knew he would come good again
Archer bout to get exposed as a slope baby

>gets over 100 test wickets bowling pies
It just works.

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I just want the days of gg, UTW, commie, mazui, eve-taku and the rest of the old groups back ;_;
nothing was better than fansub drama.

Archer is cooked

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Anyone peeped the new season of Mindhunter yet?

Warner redemption arc is on.

Never seen it. Is it worth watching? I trust you guys more than whatever the fuck Yea Forums is nowadays.

Bumble is 95% teachers looking for a meal ticket that pays more than $60K a year.

just saw angel has fallen lads.
it’s the same shit but far less believable than the first two.
also had a scare today because I saw red lines on my shoulders and some splotches and freaked out. turns out it happens when you work out the shoulders and I just started going to the gym so, happy days.
how’s your workout and kinoviewing /cric/

>Rain delay so that you have an extended 14 over spell from your opening pair

When will the cheating end lads?

Business idea: achieve a draw by being completely unable to hit the ball

It's not bad, but there are plenty of better series out there. Even if you want le mature anime

Has Arcer even broke 140km/h today or 145 if he broke 140

Bumble is a commentator m8

Can you blame them? The guy's a cricket legend

Now that Archer has officially been exposed as being shit it's time to give Curran a go

Na m8, archer is kill

For me, it's batting in sunglasses.

Want to borrow some of my dvds lad?

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yes, it's almost required viewing despite being anime, incredible series

I'm a fan of busman but I reckon he needs a solid 50 next innings or he can be dropped for lasagneman and smoth returns

To be fair, its pretty hard to pick up the sight of the red ball coming out of the black hand

Let's go davey

Anyone here seen Demon Slayer? Is it worth it?

>be a batsman
>judge the delivery completely wrong and miss the ball as a result
>no worries
>judge the delivery slightly wrong and therefore make contact but with the edge instead of the face of the bat
>you're out
Defend this.

Fucking hell bet that was expensive

Archer disabled himself in the draw match kek

>OG ghost in the shell
holy shit, /cric/ is CULTURED

Did chest and shoulders today. got a great pump. been cutting for a while now and looking pretty good.
as for kinoviewing, i was okaa-san online last night. just watch to fuck my mummy

It's good definitely worth watching

Thanks lads.

>Warner has scored more runs this innings than the rest of his series combined

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crying right now lads. Truly is the redemption arc

It's good that the umpire gave it not out and England reviewed. If the umpire gave it out Kuwaja would've wasted a review on it.

Hey guys.

I’m going to go make ‘a cup of tea’ I’m not really though. But if I said to you lot ‘ ‘I’m off to make a tea’ could you please respond with what kind of tea and biscuit you would like. Even though I’m not even making one or could never fulfil your orders.

So, I’m making a tea anyone want any thing?

*waits*

0*(16)

Test cricket lads.

Mate if we drop the paki who's going to open with the GOAT warner?

Archer will be in a body bag by day 3 lunch at this rate

RAIN REEEEE

>little busters
you played the vn lad?

FUCK OFF RAIN
STOP PLAYING GAMES UP NORTH

>Spice and Wolf
Fucking based.

Cornetto pls lad

what kind of and tea and biscuit you would like.

love cricket
hate english weather

simple as

for FUCK sake i fucking hate england

>make your fastest bowler bowl uphill
How fucking stupid is poot?

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Aussies cheating via abo rain dances

>English summer
No wonder my ancestors left that country

Kind of ruins the immersion like this

yeah I want you to kneel down and take my seed teaslut

execute all ICC staff

Umpires can't even fucking call rain right

>bowlers getting tired again
>use rain to give them a break
When will the cheating end?

groundskeepers pretending it's not raining as well
holy kek

Ind vs wi is on lads 3 balls in

wish mine had gone somewhere else
fucking irish subhumans

>we're batting our way back into the test
>uhhh lets stop for a bit, it's raining, see.
so fucking obvious

I don't see the issue. It gets extra bounce.

Is it pissing down?

Been really getting in to my pornstars circa 2009 - 2011. Currently making my way through a backlog of Bree Olson

>Like Lord's, there's a slope at Headingley

Mate I know you pommies like to pretend they're "Asian" for political purposes but his preferred derogatory term is "Paki".

So how many overs in a row will Broad and Archer bowl? The rain giving them extended breaks.

what's the best Aussie contribution to society, lads?

the extra pace is much more important than bounce
But I doubt the slope is that significant

Nah lad
here is a better pic of my anime
will post my manga next

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Dannii Minogue

No rain here in Dublin today bud

>England get a wicket each 'session' of play
>Umpires continuously bringing them on and off the field to help England get new wickets
Disgusting really.

If global warming is real how comes it rained so much of the World Cup and Ashes!?

kylie minogue's bottom

>akb0048
holy fucking BASED

fuck off fat spic

And here is my manga collection

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>rain? nah, that's just a little drizzle, c'mon lads let's play some cricket
>oy vey what a horrendous downpour, we must stop play until jofra and broad are ready
based umps

I honestly can’t think of anything important

Vegemite

I have this craaazy friend who says it's gay to watch anime. is he crazy?

Will Root is Joe Root's brother m8

>he gets angry at people who enjoy spending their income on something they can enjoy

nah

Wi-Fi

Round the Twist and Pugwall

Based

Also this

two-up

No. He's just gay.

Fairy bread

wifi also we reinvented cricket after you lot fucked it up

Counteracted by getting bowled when you miss it completely

angela white

freak

>wicket looking likely?
>better stay out there

>batters getting set?
>nah the pitch will get wet

Will Will Root play for England?

>obvious rigging to get money from two more test matches
honestly pathetic

he willn't

Nice. Now post a pic of your gf

No lad
>William Thomas Root (born 5 August 1992) is an English cricketer who plays for Glamorgan. Primarily a left-handed batsman, he also bowls right-arm off break. He is the younger brother of Yorkshire and England Test captain Joe Root. He once appeared as a substitute fielder for the England cricket team.
His brother Joe Root doesnt like him

shit taste desu

This, meanwhile, was worth a chuckle, from Vince: "Shall we have a whip round to get Chris Woakes a new ball for Christmas? He usually only gets old ones."

Why are Australians so active everywhere? Theres only 23 mil of us, yet everywhere I go in the world, every subculture I get into, there's always fucking australians. Are we just the best?

I just realized I can turn it into a rhyme, here I go lads:

>wickets looking likely?
>it's only raining lightly!

>batsmen getting set?
>nah the pitch'll get wet!

Top 5 Aussie soapwanks:

1. Holly Valance
2. the one who played Sky
3. Leyton Hewitt's ex
4. Susan Kennedy
5. Kylie

here you go lad

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Based and sprinklepilled

Rain looms

Attached: opera_2019-08-22_23-27-52.png (599x499, 208K)

we are lad
we love to travel and be a larrikin any chance we get

That's a weather map not a loom.

love a bit of sky mangel
also that girl who was blind in neighbours then a slag witht good eyesight in home & away

Grim up north

Swap line 2 & 3 around and expand pitch'll to pitch it will

Based eirzona

when isn't it?

based quatrain bro

>no Isabel Lucas
pleb taste

Want to pipe some poor jap lass up the shitter lads.
Thoughts?

it's weird how popular neighbors and home & away were when I was growing up
you just wouldn't have thought an australian soap would be such a hit over here

Tori Black?

based, me too lad

FAKE NEWS

fuck this shit, fuck England. I'm going to watch TI9

based

escapism innit
you've got brookside which is poverty in liverpool, followed by emmerdale which is poverty in yorkshire, followed by corry which is poverty in manchester, followed by eastenders which is poverty in london

need a bit of banter with pet sheeps and burger bars to offset the grimness of british soaps

Why isn't >shaw playing for India?

Aggarawal out boys

i had a thing for tracy in corrie, pity she became the 'villain'

the villain, much like the captain of australia's cricket team, steve smith.

Thank you for reminding me off her existence. Had many a wank over her back in the day

Based Poojara kino coming up lads

>poograwal

i still believe Aussie kids "go for a surf" after class. i can only assume it is reality.

nigga did a warney

I think I've watched about 10 minutes of home and away in my entire life. I did watch Neighbours regularly in the 2000s until it moved from 10's main channel.

Windies india ground looks completely empty

how did it manage to go from sunny all day to raining all day in six hours
these weatherpeople don't have a fucking clue

Anyone else get chills from the 9 cricket theme
youtube.com/watch?v=UODCaKzu9kg

>poojara

Pujara out aswell, poolapse incoming

BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT ROACH BASED GOAT

>Poojara out
fucking kek
India on Pooicide watch

so lads, been a bit busy but give me the facts, has or has not joe root exposed himself as a cheat with that catch in the last test or is it media memes. it looked like it was on the ground from what I have seen, but I decided that can't have been the case because 1) root wouldn't have claimed it and 2) the third ump wouldn't have ruled in englands favour unfairly

can't believe Rahul is still there

unironically my ringtone during summer.

Last 3 digits is Kohli's score

Joe Root is a cheat and umpires have been that dire so far that they would give it out

>016
kek
India is done, might as well head back home

The Unfair Dismissal of Marnus Labuschagne by the coward Joe Root.

Finally know the song they use
going in my summer playlist

It was probably one of those 50/50 ones where the fielder believes they've caught it, but the way he acted like it was a certain catch and gave Marnus a bit of a send off for understandably hanging around annoyed me. The 3rd umpire was Joel Wilson who we've already established has no idea.

>the grass looks dirty

absolutely elite post

Marnus summed it perfectly well
Root is a an out and out cheat

Cricket

Accurate

Root is cheat and an abuser of black men. The only relevance on field umpires have had all series is showing how utterly incompetent they are.

Is Roach elite lads? When will England steal him?

Attached: Good over.png (585x588, 57K)

Good post

Poojara is in my top 5 most disliked cricketers. I just want to punch him in the face.

i used to flog myself rotten to Nicola Charles back in the day

BASED GODstralia on track for a decisive 1-0 series victory

Cautiously restart in 20 bings

>3.20pm: Covers are coming off, from the looks of it. Restart scheduled for 3.40pm:

let's hear your top 5 son

I approve of this crossover

>1) root wouldn't have claimed it and 2) the third ump wouldn't have ruled in englands favour unfairly

I see what you did there cuzzy bro

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Going to Lords tonight lads. 24 and sunny in London.

In no particular order:

-Jofra Archer

-Poojara

-Bairstow

-Roy

-Bumrah

OH FUCK LADS
WATSON JUST DONE HIS HAMMY

>sunny

no

>Bumrah
>Pujara
looks like last series loss is still in your mind ;)

>no Brooke Satchwell
pleb of the highest order

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Is this the game where Bailey hits 30 off one Anderson over?

Gonna review that one m8

Big fan of Pujara. Based test specialist in a nation of T20 fanatics

Jesus christ m8 sort yourself out.

Sebbo posting comments to cricinfo
>Here's John: "Nice bright day in America'smid-west. Given steady winds, this weather should be with you by, let's see... Tuesday. "

fuggg

lol it's that guy from House too

wouldn't mind taking carrie bickmore to a cricket match, if you know what i mean

ur gay lad, the facial expression denotes my incredulity

Attached: Brooke-Satchwell.jpg (350x240, 12K)

>Gabriel to Kohli, 5 no ball, falls short of first slip but this was off his body anyway. Kohli tried to pull this short ball but it was a slower delivery, eventually hitting his shoulder
Kohli on the ropes lad

>poohli
>mentally mashed
Pick both

>poohli
Oh NONONONONONO

>Kohli
>Best batsman in the world
Pick one
>Gabriel to Kohli, OUT, Kohli is out of here! Back of a length, outside off but angling in. Kohli tiptoes to cut it over point, but it flies off his blade too fine. Gully dives to his right to take the catch, and it's the debutant Brooks who is the fielder

just too arrogant in this place. He was going good

Playing right now lad

It was actually the second test in India in 2017 that made me hate Pujara. I also don't like Bumrah cause everything about him is irritating.

m8 her nose and lips make her look like a lamprey. Did she drop off a Great White as it was cruising past Bondi and get given a tv gig?

KEK pissrat and kane both absolutely exposed in test cricket
smith truly is the GOAT

Nah lad, that over had him in a tight spot

I remember his 91 it was based.
>not liking bumGOD
think you're gay son

Just saw it. Reckon I watched almost every ball of that series

Margot Robbie?

Her nose is cute

It is a shame too, because if Smith played this match, he would have went to No.1 for sure

Is there a worse place than England to play a 5 day unrescheduleable test match of cricket?
Like maybe to tropics somewhere???

Not the wicket though. That was an arrogant shot.

Test

I bet you enjoy the taste of your own semen

You now remember Pedro Collins

Aleppo

Cricket

Griget :D
haha

And what is Aleppo?

I had to work some days, remember checking the scorecards off the POS computer, but I was only casual and every other day I was watching every ball of that GOATOAT series.

Attached: 789full-brooke-satchwell[1].jpg (789x1200, 75K)

he and Dillon were good

Beijing has asked to borrow it for the ski jumping events in 2022.

East Indies on the ropes

i literally did. absolutely GOAT series

and what is a "leppo"?

Where you dad arrived from when he claimed asylum

I don't go down on your mum lad.

youtube.com/watch?v=pcj8yJk87cs

you'd have to go down about 6ft lad

Hate ODI's
Hate England
Hate India
Hate Sri Lanka
Hate the Duke Ball
Hate female commentators
Love T20's
Love Test Cricket
Love the pink ball
Love Marnus
Love Bangladesh
Simple as

Based sebbo

fuck up fat guts

>Still no other bowlers besides Archer and Broad

>overweight
how did i guess...

i remember earlier when i was excited and thought id be watching cricket all night, allowing me to take my mind off the girl that rejected me

>not posting the edit where it zooms in on the interviewers dirty mouth as he says aleppo

smith
power gap
bane
kohli
power gap
root
who will debate this

for me its that bitch staring at him with complete and utter contempt.

shanon gabriel looks like he bowls a heavy ball

poojara is better than root

Chances that Joe's wife has demanded a root with Jofra?

>Windies bowling good pace and nice short stuff attacking Indian batsmen
Love to see it

I dont get it guys, Kohli is the no. 1 ranked test batsman in the world, but he just got out for 9 vs the west indies, what?

fucking love windies cricket

>bane
>good
lol

For me, this was the very moment Gary Johnson lost the election.

It's almost like the rankings are based off history and not a prediction of the future

love the indian seethe when ever poohli is exposed

how the fuck Rahul is still there????

India will complain when they lose

oh shit its back?! why did no one say waht the fuck i was wathicng the windies game

>muh marnus catch cheating poot
>muh stove is dead killed by hired nigg
KEK

Warner is BACK lads

you dumb idiot bitch-head motherfucker, virat kohli is the world's best cricketer okay

>England playing 5 slips for Warner
Root is mentally cooked out there lads

based racist Root destroying Archer's career via overuse

fucking kek, top post

>FIVE SLIPS?

Attached: 1541586822448.jpg (251x269, 27K)

>overuse

Not sure 4 overs on 1 hour off 4 overs on 1 hour off rinse and repeat is very strenuous

>Englishman working a native into the ground
whats new?

People posted that it was back at 3:40 ground time around 20 minutes ago

thought i had gyno but it was just manboobs from being a fatcunt. started cutting hard the past month and the "gyno" is completely gone. looking quite shredded at the moment lads.

I gives you're allowed to shitpost on the field hiding in those 5 slips hey Joe?

>not Boult second

Imagine being 5th slip in an international game of cricket
I would be embarrassed i reckon

show us ya pecks then faggot

did anyone just see that muzzie fronting the bunnings ad? Jesus this country is cancer

had gyno removed AMA

>Saying Woakes is great on this ground
>said it at Lord's as well
>did nothing at Lords
>will do nothing here at Leeds most likely
ECB gonna be mentally cooked today

what the fuck happened to boulty, his batting is absolute kino now. used to be chris martin tier awkward.

oh yeah? how bad was your gyno? How much did it cost? were you happy with the results? any scarring etc?

still a bit self conscious about it but i will when ive cut a bit more. need to work more on my upper chest still

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>Warner 23* (48)
Root mentally cooked that he couldn't get Warner out early

hate it when muzzies do the "i'm aussie too mate" shit

australian crickter usman khawaja is okay though

Guess ECU must be lapping up money from all the useless degrees they're pumping out if they can afford to advertise on the boundary.

new

new thread?

*slaps you over backward for six*

here only crappy unis actually advertise, decent ones don't have to bother

thought I was just a fat cunt so worked out lost about 25kg but the guy said there were definitely masses in there. cost about 2.8-3k I think, I have really good cover though. definitely happy, chest is much flatter now, they went under the areola and there's next to zero scaring that's fading, it's very faint I don't notice it unless I really look

forgot the how bad, funny enough I thought my left side was worse but the right side had a mass 6cmx5cm and the left slightly smaller than that

(((LIGHT METER)))

That doesn't include the bj's and hand shandy's. You're a cuck m8

not happy

Should i goto the pub to watch a few overs lads?