/epl/ - Required Reading Edition

>Week 2 results
Arsenal 2-1 Burnley
Aston Villa 1-2 AFC Bournemouth
Brighton & Hove Albion 1-1 West Ham United
Everton 1-0 Watford
Norwich City 3-1 Newcastle United
Southampton 1-2 Liverpool
Manchester City 2-2 Tottenham Hotspur

>Week 2 fixtures
Sheffield United v Crystal Palace (Sun 2:00pm)
Chelsea v Leicester City (Sun 4:30pm)
Wolverhampton Wanderers v Manchester United (Mon 8:00pm)

>PL in Europe this coming week
Thursday 8:00pm: Torino v Wolverhampton Wanderers (UEFA Europa League PO, 1st leg)

>IFAB Laws of the Game (updated for the 2019/20 season)
theifab.com/document/laws-of-the-game

The IFAB control football. They decide who wins what across every division in the world.

Attached: IFAB Laws of the Game 2019-20.jpg (500x708, 133K)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=oI8GZWRcUlA
youtube.com/watch?v=ARJ4e_eurlw
fourfourtwo.com/news/christian-pulisic-chelsea-manchester-united-missed-out-because-players-father-couldnt-stand-club
telegraph.co.uk/football/2019/08/18/all-american-christian-pulisic-earned-stripes-sleepy-brackley/
youtube.com/watch?v=ddxIGlsbrDc
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Football_War
bbc.co.uk/sport/football/49386282
politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2019/jul/11/does-us-womens-soccer-team-bring-more-revenue-get-/
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Why won't Liverpool fans accept that Leicester won the Premier League

*dabs on citeh and xG*

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Why won't ABLs accept that it's our year la

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that norwich feel

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UNEXPECTED GOAL

UNEXPECTED GOAL

INVALID RESULT

INVALID RESULT

xG says it should be City 3.3 - 0.2 Spuds
But it ended 2-2

So according to xG, City are fucking shite?

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PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI

Here's the board of directors for the IFAB

1. Fatma Samoura (FIFA)
2. Jonathan Ford (FAW)
3. Martin Glenn (THE FA)
4. Patrick Nelson (IFA)
5. Ian Maxwell (SFA)

Sorry guys. No Americans.

>17/04/19
>17/08/19
ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

Guess it doesn't take into account things like Ederson standing three feet out of place

Why do you guys praise terrible calls just because it doesn't favor teams you dislike? I get why you want a result no matter how but then to try and pretend you're being objective, it's amusing watching it. You're worse than NFL fans

Spurs were jammy as fuck in fairness

Anyone watched West Ham ? How was Yarmolenko?

Ha ha .. Umm it's banter lad ? Lol .. Cracking up over it .. Banter is amazing ..

I also love a bit of banter on occasion

Didn't do much.
Came on for the last 15 mins or so.

As a Spurs fan, I know when a decision goes against us everyone else will get the chance to gloat and shit on us. Circle of life innit

On a side note : how many matches like this does Walker need to do so people can stop saying he's bad?

>how many matches where he plays a big role in his team conceding does he need to have before people stop saying he's bad
Impossible question to answer, since it's not possible to play negative games

It's the same for everyone to be fair.
I'm a spurs fan and I still think those constant handballs are retarded.

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Did Leicester win the Premier League in your opinion

just did some quick calculations lads and according to science on average every team will get an equal number of decisions going their way as they will going against them. we're just in the first two games, but everything will balance out over the course of the season

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Lucas comes from behind him, those are impossible to defend.

>those are impossible to defend.
If you're a retard, sure

are newcastle seriously relegation-tier? I didn't see the match

Pre-VAR leagues don't count

They're missing key defenders, but they look shit

Yeah, there's no plan. Isaac Hayden played right wing today. It's a shambles.

absolutely hopeless by the sounds of it

I will be amazed if they don't finish 20th

Basically any team outside of the top 6 can be relegation tier if they go on a bad form.

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they have steve bruce as manager in 2019

there squad doesn't look atrocious on paper but the complete lack of formation and cabbage man's abysmal subs put them there
initial impressions are Southampton, Newcastle, Sheffield look like the relegation candidates

>Southampton
They played well today desu

*their

>Hayden played right wing
Bruce has lost the fucking plot if that's the case and he's managed Hayden before.

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yes they deserved more

>still doubting Chris Wilder

Fucking hell this can't be real.
RIP Poocastle.

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may be true but getting 3-0'd by Burnley isn't a good look

>t. Adrian

who else is there, Norwich looked good, so did Brighton and so have Burnley

ManC/Tot, Nor/New, Sou/Liv, Ars/Bur, AV/Bou, Eve/Wat, Bri/WHU

American media has gone full retard on Pulisic. Probably will be most match ever in USA tomorrow.

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>home field

Most watched*

That's the line up? Boring. Fun. Boring. Fun. Fun. Boring. Boring.

Hersheys tastes like vomit. End of

looks like gold liquid in your cup

Yes it does. How is it that bad? For me, it's M&M Chocolate, Peanut Edition. I shall shill its glory to the ends of time. Until I get bored. Got another bar down stairs.

>that "Pulisic Update" article
WEW

Hope you're mentally prepared for what happens when he eventually scores a match winner

Norwich are classic "muh pretty football" heartlets. Show up against the big teams but lose to all their relegation rivals while the media sucks their dick

well they didn't lose to newcastle

Burnley aren't anywhere near relegation candidates.

>inb4 he starts on the bench

Nah, they just play attacking football. They're the naive attacking cutie babies of the league this season. Probably going to get annihilated by every team with a good attack but beat teams that don't.

>“Last season it was offside, this time it was handball,” the Manchester City manager said. “If it was hands it was hands, the decision is made in London so there’s nothing I can do or say about it. We could do with a little more consistency, though. It that was hands by Aymeric Laporte why was Fernando Llorente not hands last season?
>“There was no penalty when the ball hit Andreas Christensen on the arm when Chelsea played Liverpool in midweek. I also thought we should have had a penalty when Érik Lamela fouled Rodrigo in the area. The VAR people must have been having a cup of coffee at that moment.”

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Smashed a pack of salted caramel MMs night. Pure quality

>Premier League rules 'allow players to cheat' - Dyche
But why? There's VAR now, stop saying players can 'cheat' to get around you losing to shite teams. Conceding a 20 yard goal from Old Man Obama is a disgrace and you have no excuse with Arse's defence is David '7-1' Luiz and Papa 'Literally Who?' Sokratis.

Hope you all like the new rules I've implemented as part of the IFAB board.

It's time to bring Fairness to Football.

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You think that's bad, consider the following: Reyna still has a few months to become the youngest ever Bundesliga player

I've not thought about any regular M&M's since finding this chocolate. A packet of M&M's used to be my main go to, peanut of course, then I decided to lose some more weight to get under 90kg (194cm). I'm around 86kg or so now.

OH NO NO NOOOOO SHES A BLACK WOMAN LMAO HAHA

Dyche needs to stop this crying after defeats.

>Fatma
She sure is.

Why is the bald fraud seething? He's the one that wanted VAR in the prem the most

>It that was hands by Aymeric Laporte why was Fernando Llorente not hands last season?
Because there was a different rule then. Fucking hell Pep, keep up

PUKKI

they did finish 15th last season

That's because of no VAR. It stops cheats until it doesn't in your opinion.

Wouldn't be surprised

He went on a rant about how it is only a yellow, but it is only a yellow if it is a dive, but if the ref and VAR doesn't say it's a dive then it's not a card. The dude is an angry hairlet who thinks his players shit doesn't stink.

That was because of the Europa League and their backline imploding.

MOTD:

>Be Bong
>Be in America
>get shot (with cheese)
>die

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Lads! Lads!
PUKKI

haha

Haha. PUKKI

I don't get this Pukki meme, somebody explain so I can get in on it haha.

>[event happens] after [unrelated event happens]
i sure do love these stories

Haha. PUKKI

It's a new take on the "diamond in the rough" archetype. Pukki is a Norwich striker who is disproportionately celebrated despite being at such an mediocre club. Plus he is Finnish and has several of his countrymen on Yea Forums referencing him as elite at every opportunity.

You should be thankful the Finbros are so based. Imagine what happens if Pulisic scores a hat trick. They legitimately might have to permanently shut down this board forever.

not sure why Yea Forums pretends pukki is a Yea Forums meme. r/soccer goes just as mental for him

r/soccer is the socially acceptable face of Yea Forums

Where you post the stuff you don't mind people who know you seeing

HAHAHAHAHAHA. PUKKI!!

Anyone remember Puddi? Haha Pukki

Will never happen, he's shit

i would like to note at this time that i have never PUKKI-posted nor if you asked me to pick pukki out from a line of random bearded men prior to this season would i be able to

xG is fucking bullshit. That fact that anyone falls for it baffles me

Guess its just a meme stat

GIGA PUDDI!
HAHAHAHA

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>having intricate knowledge of reddit

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>He doesn't believe in science and math

Let me guess, you're a Brexiteer who thinks we need "more research" into global warming before making a decision too, eh?

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people just incorrectly act like xg is "the" stat like per in basketball or war in baseball (these stats may also not be "the" stats, i don't watch these sports i don't know) or whatever when it clearly isn't and stats in football so obviously have decades to go before we can realistically try to describe or analyse the sport with pure numbers

PUKKI HAHAHHAHA PUKKI HAHAHHAHA PUKKI HAHAHHAHA PUKKI HAHAHHAHA PUKKI HAHAHHAHA PUKKI HAHAHHAHA PUKKI HAHAHHAHA

starting to believe, because of the events of last and now this season, that football - especially the EPL - is scripted

what are you drinking mate

>that football - especially the EPL - is scripted
Did you not read the OP?

>The IFAB control football. They decide who wins what across every division in the world.

pukki pie haha

giga pukki xd

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it's shilled pretty hard I guess that's why

fuk i was literally gonna post this but you beat me to it sir. i suppose great minds think alike he he he

haha omg lol im gonna die haha

As a dedicated FPL player who knows every single one of these stats, it’s bullshit. It doesn’t account for the factor that can’t be measured, that being if a team actually has it in them on the day to go out and get a certain number of goals. Today’s 17:30 kickoff match was a good example of that. You clearly haven’t played sports in your life

>mfw I control football

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hehe pookki

So Russian oligarch money is OK after all?

Finns are the most autistic nationality. Everyone sitting at their desk jobs at Nokia thinking of memes all day and not making eye contact with each other. Even their athletes look goofy and awkward.

I can tell you are zoomers.

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>Using the "You've never strapped on a helmet, nerd" argument in 2019

That argument didn't stick in the 80's and it's not sticking now. It's OK to admit the data revolution is passing you by. Rewatch Moneyball and read some more articles to get up to speed.

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Can confirm Hazelnut is also elite

YOU NEVER PLAYED THE GAME

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>tfw dont actually know what xG is

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youtube.com/watch?v=oI8GZWRcUlA
HAHA PUKKI!

PUKKI

it literally some wank they've come up with to make man city seem better than they are

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PUKKI

Pukki needs a dance for when he scores and it can start a new craze. Cam on do the Pukki

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xG = Expected Goals. In other words, how many goals their attacks should have produced but didn't for some reason. It was brought up to defend United sucking.

>tfw it's still four days until sheet washing day
>tfw your bedsheets are literally caked in blood
>tfw there's still three nights to go before they get cleaned

What prison?

>2 celtic rejects are ripping the prem apart

For me, it's Dabbur.

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HAHA PUKKI!!!

Boarding school rough this year eh?

Finnish meme and...

>
THFC pair Juan Foyth and Heung-Min Son have both now served their three match suspensions and will be eligible for selection against NUFC
next weekend.

They're excited. Still nothing compared to ridiculous hype over that bum of yours shitarito years ago you fucking bean

PUKKI

PUKKI HAHAHAHAHAHAH LLOOOLLLLL PUUKKKKKKII LMAOPUKKI HAHAHAHAHAHAH LLOOOLLLLL PUUKKKKKKII LMAOPUKKI HAHAHAHAHAHAH LLOOOLLLLL PUUKKKKKKII LMAOPUKKI HAHAHAHAHAHAH LLOOOLLLLL PUUKKKKKKII LMAOPUKKI HAHAHAHAHAHAH LLOOOLLLLL PUUKKKKKKII LMAO

Oh wait, you meant Virgil "I'm Too Much Of A Wuss To Have My Surname On My Shirt" van Dijk as well.

Lads If dubbbles PUKKI

Required reading you say?

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Was a joke you autist.

>he's been camping out for two hours just to post this response
who's the autist here?

>implying I only made the OP

If xG is so good then why is it almost never accurate

>xG
for me it's xAA (expected almost assist)

for me it's xGLC (expected goal line clearances)

For me it's XD (when I see all these Pukki memes)

To be quite honest lads, for me, it’s PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI

For me it's xP the best operating system ever

>80mb of ram doing nothing
>best

lmao no

Ummm sweaty those are used to make XP the best

101

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The best and greatest that ever was and ever will be

>In 2015 Dyche claimed one prominent manager told him to "move with the times" when it came to diving in the modern game, while in 2016 the Clarets boss called for retrospective bans which would eradicate diving from football "in six months".

>Left frustrated, a year later he claimed "no-one cares" about trying to eradicate diving from English football - and last season added "no-one wants to deal with it".

The reason is, Dyche, is because it's incredibly difficult to work out the difference between a dive and an overreaction. Dyche literally uses diving as a scapegoat. The reason nobody else talks about it is because they understand nothing can be done. I have, sometimes, gone 'why wasn't be booked for that dive', granted, but that's when it has been blantantly obvious. You COULD theoretically have a team watch a match and then then apply retroactive punishments but which FA would want to ban people who bring in money? Dyche says this shit constantly and he'll claim it as some virtue and him fighting for something great; in reality, he doesn't want to admit his team failed to beat a bad team and the reason is diving. Yet complains about the ball hitting the hand of his player and it being a free-kick despite the rules stating this applies even accidentally. A new rule, granted, but he argues the toss. It's an excuse. Diving gets fixed and he has no scapegoat.

It's all so tiring.

diving is a valuable part of the game
deal with it. move on

>UFC mongs sperging out again
Never understood the appeal of MMA and never will.

just a socially-acceptable excuse to look at lads in the kecks hugging each other

sounds extremely homosexual

don’t get it either, quite like boxing though so I don’t get it

I work at KONE now, not nokia

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Because they don't show the variance/margin of error and the calculation are fundamentally flawed.

3xG +/- ?

but is is accurate. what do you mean it's not?

just watched motd this morning
is almiron just shit?

He's ok but Newcastle are shit

>mlels
>has 0 (Zero (0) ) goals in relevant leagues as a forward
could understand if he was a fullback or something but this just reeks of cartel money laundry

Its like expected value in poker, its accurate over a large sample size. If you have the best hand and the most outs, but you lose to a fluke draw, it doesn't mean your expected value was wrong.

He looked good last season, was a big threat. I don't think anyone will look good under Bruce.

predictions?

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Sheffield, Leicester and Wolves to win.

Frank + Football = Solved

Chelsea get relegated

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>Sanchez leaves united
>ABUs all commit suicide.

Palace win, Chelsea Leicester draw

wtf Frank

united win 3-0 at Wolves

He gay boy

A day of football and video games xx

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Fukcing brainlet, I bet you couldn't even invert a circle if you tried

And diabetes

lad...

Bruh I'm American and even this is shocking to me

what on earth is that drink with some bald fella on it?

Why

Drink water

Because we consume the unhealthiest shit on earth and seeing this amount of sugar gives me Diabetes just looking at it. Please dont die user.

What is drink on the right?

Cheddar and jalapeños max crisps are better and actually in GOAT crisp contention

anyone watching joe thatcher's vlogs?

sketching cats and birds today lads
birds are hard

Arizona. Arnold Palmer half iced tea half lemonade

Bit boring

Tesco didn't have any left

Sounds nice. Is it available widely in the uk?

Dunno mate. I get it from the ethnic corner shop

youtube.com/watch?v=ARJ4e_eurlw

note to self

would you say sadio mane is the best player in the world right now?

I would say it.

It's wouldn't be true, but if push came to shove I would certainly say it if asked to

what does this tell us about the season

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daily reminder

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Don't think I would, no.

That teams need to attack City because their defence is still shite

man city are finished

This isn't something I would say

What was Kane thinking reeee

the same thing he thinks every second of every match; "how can i inflate my goal tally"

For the Americans

fourfourtwo.com/news/christian-pulisic-chelsea-manchester-united-missed-out-because-players-father-couldnt-stand-club

Fuck sorry, meant to post this url

telegraph.co.uk/football/2019/08/18/all-american-christian-pulisic-earned-stripes-sleepy-brackley/

Jack Grealish has lost 20 premier league games in a row

remember when people said Villa isn't fulham and their transfers where good?

>What was Kane thinking

“When you watch Beckham and Rooney do it, you try it yourself, especially when you are younger and yeah I have tried it a few times and it hasn’t come off but, who knows, hopefully it will be the start of me getting a few of them!

“It’s one of the best I’ve scored in my career, it being in a friendly means it didn’t mean as much, but in terms of the strike it was right up there.

“So that’s the next aim, to try and do it in a competitive match, either in the Premier League or Champions League. That would be nice.”

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The winds of hurricane
The keeper unaware and
Score some faking goals

reckon there's a non-zero chance we win the cricket lads

Whats so hard to understand, it explains well how many chances a team created and gives them a numerical value that is better than shots on goal, etc. It shows, statistically, who should have won the match and that if they played this same game several times, who would win more often. Its far less subjective than most other football analysis. Plebs just find it too difficult to comprehend what it actually shows.

What's so hard to understand, it's inaccurate and a shitty indicator? Stat nerds just find it too difficult to actully watch the game

>the cricket
?
youtube.com/watch?v=ddxIGlsbrDc

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how is it inaccurate?

very grim animal

>its inaccurate
>its a shitty indicator
>muh subjective view is much more reliable
Cry more faggot. The only reason you could be so butthurt about this stat is because of the huge discrepancies between what you see and what stats show actually happened in the match, i.e. meaning your lack of understanding of the game is being exposed and you hate it.

The autistic cunt's had his brain turned into vegemite so there's a chance

Bit of a shit stat considering 18 of those games were 3 years ago in the worst premier league team of all time

He made 6 chances yesterday, most made from any player in the premier league so far

Mistakes cost us yesterday, but there were plenty of positives in the match

>muh stat weights

Oh I don't mind the stat fren it has it's places. I just don't think it's all that. People who hail it as the next comming of jesus get pretty riled up about people not caring about it.

Polaks are too lowbrow to understand cricket, don't waste your time.

think that happened a while ago tbf, jof just delivered the killing blow

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I hope you stay up fren

What is happening

just the best cricketer in the world doing his thing

Thanks buddy, it's going to be a long season

I'm going to start shitposting NFL in here if you don't get the CRIC the fuck out

how dem burrs doin?

hmm yes i wonder how that will go for you

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Itll go absolutely outstanding considering all the American autists will be in here in next hrs or so for Chelsea game

Would not recommend the chili paprika bread from Subway lads

trying to write a cover letter to apply for jobs, help me lads

Just tell them you'll do literally anything for money

depends on whose xG you are talking but some super nerds have collated data from thousands of games and measured how likely a goal is scored from each position on the pitch, including how many players between him and goal, whether under pressure or not, how ball is received, etc. and have run massively successful business betting based on these statistical indicators they developed. There is a book called "matchplan" that explains all that. Of course its still massively flawed (e.g. Lucien Favre's teams are consistently above their xGs, Brazil Germany 1-7 was actually higher xG for Brazil, etc.) , which is why footy is better than all those american "sports", but there is no denying that, looking at the big picture (and betting on it), the stats do work and will get better.

>Teemu Pukki has as many PL hat-tricks as Cristiano Ronaldo and Dennis Bergkamp
PUKKI

Write one the stick every 4th word through the thesaurus

are you pissed

1?

Who fucking cares about it, you should've had one wrote since you were like 16 and just have to change some of the words yo be relevant to the place you're applying. No one reads a cover letter and thinks oh boy let's hire this overly pretentious cokehead

>Stoke bottom of the table

Just imagine, Sunderland Portsmouth and Stoke all in league 1, Bolton in league 2

Bolton aren't in the League anymore, they broke

i'm not applying for some part-time retail job like I was when I was 16 you peanut

well then maybe its time you wrote you own cover letter then rather than asking for help off /epl/

If there's a sport that attracts autists more than cricket i don't know of it

UFC

A big company cares even less, the only things that matter are your CV and your interview (abd for some those psychometric tests). Procrastinating over a cover letter is worthless

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Soccer has always been an unfair refball sport. It’s a cultural thing. VAR won’t change the fact that refs ultimately have to power to affect results to a higher degree than any other sport.

Lol, fuck Cardiff

>liverpool still haven't kept a clean sheet
>have only played a dogshit chelsea, southampton and Norwich

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football

Lol it begins

whose year is it

This is the post

>those digits

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Nah bruh that was before Frank solved football

Not Liverpool's

is coming soon

gizza peek at current/previous work

m8 u should have 2-3 pages of misleading crap about yourself on hand for any job application/interview and just edit then rattle it off

It's almost like our keeper is injured and we only have one good defender

why did Klopp not address these issues during the transfer window?

Honestly nothing beats the sound of middling a cricket ball or clean bowling a batsman

He was showing faith in the team. Despite being generally shit they did fairly well last season.

showing faith in a team? by not having a decent backup in case they get injured?

best in the prem and top 3 world

On a scale of 1 to America how free is he living in your head?

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He seems alright, nothing special though

only rated because of his passport tbqh fäm

Haha this is even better than I expected, Americans have gone full retard. Dying

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patrick van aanholt plays football like a gazelle with an inner ear infection

Where's the best place to download full matches?

Anyone got any links?

>aw shit, here we go again

DeAndre Yedlin of the left
shocking in all aspects except pace

Rewatch when football teams have tried Moneyball retard (spoiler alert: every time they've tried it, it's failed)

um sweety

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eddie meme got bouth to the premierl eagle with it
cant think of any other times it worked

Liverpool's recent success has not been through Moneyball tactics though (although you're probably just trolling)

When they tried moneyball tactics (Carroll, Downing) it failed miserably

>breaking transfer fee records for both defenders and goalkeepers
doing a big think

how is selling coutinho for a three times his worth and replacing him with the best centre half and goalkeeper on the planet not moneyball
it's like you didn't even watch the film (obviously no one here has read the book)

when people go on about moneyball what do they mean?
sign good players for cheap because literally every club wants to do that
the films got quite a lot of bullshit in it too

It doesn't make sense if you have seen Trainspotting, since the Choose Life speech is meant to be sarcastic

Baseball
>muh unwritten rules

it's very simple
man city and man u are the yankees
liverpool under godgers/kenny are the oakland a's
liverpool under klopp and with more money are the red sox

but the team in moneyball win the league

no they didn't?

Starting lineup for Chelsea

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looks good for top eight finish to me

Unironically best lineup had yet at least

>The absolute state

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reckon they’ll get pipped of 6th place by one of Leicester, Everton or Wolves

cricket mentioned

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It's a mobile company here

They still don't acknowledge Blackburn Rovers either.

that was all down to kenny

>Sheffield
Weird way to spell Palace

Blackburn were the buy the league pioneers
City and Chelsea owe them

YOU FAT BASTARD
YOU FAT BASTARD
YOU FAT BASTARD

no one likes you or your gimmicks

MAN MOUNTAIN

ONE DOWN
based archer

#FREEZOUMA

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>hodgshit

explained to daddy on the phone that var is killing the game and that cheating is an integral part of the sport and should be fought for and he said "i can see what your mother means now" and hung up

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FRANKIEEEE LAMPARD


FRANKIEEEEEEE LAMPARD

HE CAME TO CHELSEA

FROM DERBY

TO MANAGE CHELSEAAA

FRANKIEEEEEE LAMPARD

>Lestah are go-

every team uses analytics for their signings nowadays you mong

every team uses FM

Thinking about the time when Pukki scored hat trick

>all these kyrvänsyylä Finns come out of the woodwork when their meme player scores
Grim.

haha

Sosa is gonna go into full meltdown mode in /Arse/ if Chelsea don't win. The guy had a mental breakdown again yesterday, I only noticed when browsing because the last few posts were all cap greentext.

chelsea are not good lads

>lelsea

>have 50 young players
>none of them PL level

i reckon if you pumped me full of drugs i could get a game for chelsea

don't see how weed will solve this but go ahead

She's hit the wall harder than Diana

>when Palace and Newcastle are practically relegated already
Wilder doubters also BTFO

>getting relegated
>Woy

Where were you when you knew it was over for Frank?

Newcastle were playing Isaac Hayden as a winger, Martin O’neill could be managing Sheffield and they’d still do better than them

>local side lost AGAIN
got Sutton away in the FA Cup will probably lost that as well

On my couch, watching Liverpool win their second European championship in the 3 months

Based Defoe still raping the SPL

you lads listening?

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Hurts my ears hearing people on the phone

>Leicester fan making fun of Liverpool's 0PL

It's literally, actually, unironically going to happen

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Naive thinking from many Chelsea fans. Frank is working with a new side, young players. Two games in, some patience and support rather than negativity.

>norwich and soton
>only scored 6 and concede 2
its not looking good

I know right, it's almost like our first choice keeper is injured

Palace have been dogshit.

>but our keeper is injured
shall we begin the list of excuses then?

>It's literally, actually, unironically going to happen
arsenal get top 4?

Don't forget that it was a Turkish plant, not a real Liverpool fan who slid into Adrian

It won't happen. They'll get raped 5-0 by Liverpool next week and boom, the slide will happen. If Obama gets injured, literally over.

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arsenal-tottenham is in two weeks and looks very interesting
what do you think will happen?

3-1 to spuds, Kane hattrick

How fucking lowbrow are you listening to that tripe when TMS is broadcasting the cricket?

wha'ts going through his head right now?

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wanna hear a the joke of the decade?
>chelsea youth players

Spuds win 3-0. Minimum.

son is back so SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON SON
also SON

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>Three people have died in clashes between rival fans in Honduras, with former Celtic player Emilio Izaguirre among 10 people injured.

latin americans are fucking bonkers: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Football_War

>tms
fuck off mr middle class

Anything worth seeing on MotD tonight?

Fuck no

is it ever?

Rather be middle-class (actually working class -> low-middle) than lowbrow like you mate

Ooo watch out, tory's found his voice

Lampard out
Tammy out
Barkley out
Willian out

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who in???

Nobody, you have a transfer ban

>you

Fuck knows
Give a chance to Michy, then decide he's shite and play Giroud
Drinkwater, Baka
Literally every other winger

>gets raped by a United side filled with U21s

*smiles adorably in your direction*
how many will he score tomorrow?

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Mou

>it's another utter shite product being pitched on dragons den but since they've out "great british" in the name they'll receive multiple offers

Lib dem if i had to desu but who cares they're all shite.

So who are we all voting for in the next election lads? For me, it’s Liberal Democrat, just so I can see these two legends of the tele every night

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>voting

I'm unironically never voting again.

scenes when chuka umunna leads a progressive alliance to number 10

labour

>chuka umunna
>leading

I’d have better luck at changing the temperature of the sea by throwing a cup of hot water into it
pointless exercise where I’m from, a literal animal would win so long as it was wearing a red ribbon

STAY!

i'll give you a big sloppy kiss if you can convince me to stay up for match of the day

>de gay

If you stay up for MOTD you get to kiss me

go on then, fuck off grandad

>not

White "people" are unironically gay under the guise of irony.

probably the least controversial take i've ever seen

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Well they need another GK right now

>squad
what a moron Samantha is. First Eleven with no injuries is an obvious answer. Liverpool's squad on the other hand is fucking atrocious

The SQUAD? That's retarded. I reckon they'd take De Gea or Pogba as a bench option.

B-B-BUT OUR KEEPER IS INJURED!!!!!

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Last digit confirms number of assists James makes tomorrow

Is she an actually retard? Like mentally incapable?

>succ.

Sounds pretty legit. I wonder who scores them. I guess they’ll be on the break so would be someone fast scoring so martial or Rashford. Maybe Lingard could. Or greenwood off the bench. Possible Pogba edge of the box

tripps assisted for atletico

wahey

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for morata

>the garrotter of Getafe

i'm just brewing up lads, anyone want one?

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seething pedantic Man U fans looking to argue with anything, obviously she meant starting 11

right now or when fully fit

horrific """banter"""

>women in charge of making themselves clear

which starting 11? with injured players or in hypothetical situation where injuries dont exist?

cringe

>whiteknighting

what white knighting? because she's a woman?
I'm just calling out the mental gymnastics of manu fans

Mate. Try to seethe a little less obviously

MOTD 2:

Oh it’s another /epl/ thread
>ABLs post 0PL
>scousers rage for an hour and then disappear

not for me star

For me? Its Argie legend Mac Allister

Weirdly precise description of /epl/. Why do the scousers come and post frantically for 30mins and then suddenly just disappear?

it's yet another /epl/ thread with reds posting CONTENT and stimulating DISCUSSION and abls doing nowt but talk about liverpool
keep doing you lad

You don't have to defend your lass for every mistake she makes mate. Just admit she's a dumb bimbo.

Do you actually believe this to be the truth? Like seriously?

Wew lad.

i know with absolute certainty that i have more yous than all the abls in the thread put together over the past two hours

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Is that because they’re all posting that you’re seething?

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Pro-tip much of the liverpool hate is false flagging.

This. And then scousers post how they’re so mellow and just trolling when really they literally can not control their anger.

True. I’m not even ABL I’m actually a Southport fan but like Liverpool but their fans are truly appalling on here.

haha liverPOO

>sugar first
>sugar at all
>water before teabag
>milk before teabag
jfc sort it out

>I’m not even ABL
That's good because Leicester don't deserve any abuse.

they do if they continue to play Maddison on the wing

>man shitty
>chelshit
>manure
OUR YEAR

Should a top 6 club sign Sturridge ?
Could he be useful as a cover for Kane, or Aguero ?

based

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isnt he going to Turkey?

He can't run, my dude.

I don’t know if he’d be useful to any prem side tbqh
always injured, expensive and overrated

Shisha is a hell of a career-killer

Why do you say that ? Last time I saw him in a shirt he seemed decent.

bbc.co.uk/sport/football/49386282

>Former England, Arsenal and Chelsea left-back Ashley Cole has announced his playing retirement from football.
RIP

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>38
lasted a long time

More like Cashoutly Cole

he's a crock malcontent

his career is done

Tim Cahill is not gonna get invited back to MOTD he sucks.

>Last time I saw him in a shirt he seemed decent.
>comes on pitch
>immitedly gets injured

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that was fucking hilarious
absolute waste of a loan spell

very yes

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He’s just a massive cunt. WBA said he would refuse to play even on the smallest niggle. Anyone know how much Trabzonspor are paying him?

Only chad strikers make it in /epl/
>van nistelrooy
>drogba
>Torres
>Henry
>Aguero
>Ba

>Bolton boss Phil Parkinson says he contacted the English Football League before Saturday's 5-0 loss at Tranmere over welfare concerns after playing youth players in every game this term.

>Just three senior outfield players were fit for the trip to Prenton Park. Wanderers, who are in administration, are currently awaiting the completion of a takeover by Football Ventures.

>"I've spoken many times in the past couple of weeks. Asking young players to go again is not right," he said. "We sent an email to the English Football League explaining about our concerns over the welfare of our young players playing these games in quick succession, but we were told we had to play the game."

>When contacted by BBC Sport, the EFL said welfare checks are in place for any under-18s playing first-team football.

Utterly disgusting from the EFL. Those kids will end up burnt out by December.

Basically, most of his problems are in his head.

If by chance doubles occur. The thing in my head will happen.

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why? they’re only playing football

At a level way above where they should be.

Yes but excess high tempo exercise is damaging for growing bodies.

Good. Fuck zoomers

You mean fuck the future of the game? You realise people age right?

>non-league football
>future of the game
Cringe.

haha

Really feeling the edge here from a clueless fuckwit.

Yeah nice one. Idiot

I remember in Children of Men there was a scene in a pub with footy on the telly. Always wondered how the sport with be considering no knew players are coming through

Just watch the retirement league, aka seria a. Pretty realistic approximation of the first ten years or so.

#brave

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US Soccer should tell her to fuck off.

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so very! I also want equal pay after all I kicked a ball once or twice

>/epl/ - English Pukki League

and the yanks talk about Europeans being commies

Do they really get better viewing figures than the men?

Why do people feel histroical clubs shouldn't be allowed to die? They're businesses that have made shit decisions, if your local chippy thats been there for 50 years was getting shit sales then their wouldn't be a £2m bailout from the government, therefore why do the PFA bail out a shithouse club like bolton

>Why do people feel histroical clubs shouldn't be allowed to die?
big part of the community and all that

Spoken like a true plastic bandwagoner.

They're businesses now, if they got to the premiership, they'd flood the teams with forgieners, most of their team last season probably don't even come from in or around Bolton. They shouldn't be given a free pass because 'muh history', they fucked up, made bad decisions and should be forced to pay the consequences of that

A new Bolton can start from the bottom of the football pyramid, trying to resurrect them will help no one

From a local point of view, even a club in L1 or 2 must bring in a lot of money from away fans travelling to the area every couple of weeks

>muh forrins
>muh non-local players
You really have no clue about it at all. Would you rather have 92 variations on Salford, Forest Green Rovers, MK Dons etc.?

Why does that matter facist?

Trippier will be one of the best buys of the season

Give it a rest mate

I honestly have never understood the hatred for those clubs and the die hard ones for the mishandled shitshows that are their historical clubs just seem moronic

But the club as it is will just be thrown to the bottom of the footballing pyramid, throwing money at it is achieving nothing but being an absolute waste

Don't think Spurs fans should turn on him after one bad season. Then again, I think La Liga is his level

Did you even watch the match? Villa practically dominated that game after two disastrous early mistakes, one of which was only punished by a bad deflection. They probably do need to be ringing up Sturridge or someone on a free, though, because they don't have any decent forward options on the bench, just midfielders and defenders.

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You don't seem to be a very likeable person.
Who do you support and are they your local team?

Studge has joined some Turkish outfit

thoughts on the reds starting their title pursuit with a 100% record?

Who hoping for a Punic victory tonight in United v Wolves?
Will "He" make an appearance?

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i don't understand this post
but i hope for a wolves victory

Im meming about the punic wars making a comeback simply because a team which just signed someone called "Hannibal", representing Carthage, is playing Wolves, representing Rome because of Romulus and Remus myth of sucking the tits of a wolf.

nevermind. I forgot I was on one of the boring boards

yeah i still don't know what punic wars (which HILARIOUSLY corrected to pubic warts on my phone) is lad
but thanks for deigning us with your big brain oh so quaint cultural references

so what do we think happens to the footy if we leave without a deal? the bookies are getting behind no deal now

UEFA is separate from the EU, only difference will be that the clubs need to organise visas when travelling to away fixtures and hope nobody gets detained for deportation back to Nigeria or wherever

>Doesn't know about Punic Wars
I can only imagine youre an American on a proxy. Only someone of their IQ would state this

>I honestly have never understood the hatred for those clubs
Artificial success via bankrolling with no natural fanbase. That's why. You are either a contrarian troll or genuinely clueless about football.

Only brexit players allowed to play
All foreigners required for work visa which takes 6-8weeks
Sheffield win league

Blades have it in the bag anyway. Gareth Southgate was there yesterday, I'm assuming taking notes on Wilder's tactics. Unfortunately couldn't get a glimpse of Zaha as he was concealed in Bashambauer's pocket.

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PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI
PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUU
PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI PUKKI
PUU PUKKI PUU PUKKI PUKKI PUU
(PUKKI PUU)

*in the US

in which case it makes sense they should be payed as much as the US men's team

Not really, because the women's final featured the US women's team. If their men's team had made the men's final then that would have had more viewers.

>During the three years following the 2015 Women’s World Cup, the women’s team brought in slightly more revenue from games than the men’s team did.

>if both teams played and won 20 "friendly" matches in a year, the women would earn a maximum of $99,000 and the men would earn an average of $263,320, according to the suit.

>When the Wall Street Journal audited the federation’s financial reports, it found that the U.S. women’s soccer games earned more than the men’s games, in total, during three years after the women’s team won the World Cup in 2015.

They are a better side in their sport than the men's team and also bring in more money. Why should they be paid less?

politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2019/jul/11/does-us-womens-soccer-team-bring-more-revenue-get-/

US Soccer pay salaries to the US women, something they don’t do for the men. Most players on the USWNT earn salaries of around $100,000, plus as much as $67,500 for competing in the US Soccer-backed NWSL. The men have to earn all their compensation from bonuses only.

US Soccer argues that the USWNT have a better built-in safety net. National team players who also play in NWSL have their club salaries picked up by the Federation. This benefits both allocated national team players, who can be paid more than their clubs might be able to afford, and their clubs, who can sign top women’s national team players who would otherwise cost too much. (It’s also good for US Soccer, who have a vested interest in their national team players staying in the United States and building up domestic club soccer instead of signing with big clubs in Europe.) Players are also able to receive some health insurance, severance pay if they’re cut from the team, and, critically, half-pay maternity leave.

back in my day, players gave their national team money to charity

>Monday 21:00.
What did they mean by this?

henderSOLID

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sktel allen and clyne are better then van pikey

Worried about bringing a girl over when I live next to a recycling centre.

Elaborate

nah i just watch the xG score to see what should have happened

Does it smell?

new:

No but a lot of trucks and constant sound of smashing glass.

>Getting salami grease and chip powder on your mouse+keys
Horrific