/cric/

No wait I don't like it. What a cock.

but they have the prettiest girls in the world

SHALL

How do I get a foreign gf lads?

Yes, hello, where is mine?

visit London

can't stand continentals in general they're all grim little runts
glad britain isn't truly european in the traditional sense

Black women are so sexy

Attached: 1565713820858m.jpg (820x1024, 106K)

Smith is the Strongest Batsman in the world

you'll find happy people in poor countries because their literal retards tbg
people in rich countries are miserable because they are highly intelegent and connected to reality. they will also have actual senses of humour as opposed to "AJAJAJAJAJA JORGE FALL OVER"

>/cric/ taking the blackpill
nice

Fuck off OP, I'm on nofap

Attached: pitch at lords.png (424x418, 165K)

ngl for me it's brown women
being molded from the primordial ooze of human genetics does wonders for a woman's body

Might just add that to the old folder ey

>have to go to military training in two weeks

JUST

big brain Wade

Attached: edgelord.jpg (650x488, 31K)

>joining the military
Absolutely hooting.

Answer the call to prayer.

don't drop the soap

Not enjoying watching its progress.

a blowie would be nice

Love the west indies and their cricket

Attached: 1476154172450.jpg (700x1280, 160K)

im only a choc in the reserves, so its 5 weeks and then im done for a while

*slides smoothly from rug to cric*
heh perfect crime

if you don't physically injure yourself during training for those sweet dva benefits remember to claim you were sexually assaulted

mmmmmmmmmm

I said. Werid how someone like Lance Armstrong gets a life ban for cheating and stripped off all titles and someone like Smith gets welcomed back after a very short ban.

kek, better than being a NEET I suppose

From a tranny or a dude?

Have you seen the score? Think you're due for a call from the boss

STOOOP, FUARKK

>asain gf
>big inswinging yorkers
>guiding down to third man

don't @ me

No I haven't haha

Are filthy black african minges proper naughty lads?

Attached: 1549830230820.png (760x645, 483K)

What would happen if a player called an ump a "fucking tool" to his face and they got it on camera

What's asain

too dark

based retard

enjoy shooting iranians for oilberg

Start getting all existential with them and question everything. They will make you a general or something.

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Aussie team is so shit

ah yes, mate wade

why haven't you unlocked this gf yet

like asian but superior in every way

GOTHEEM

fined 75% of match fee and the ump is allowed to kick them in the balls w/ no box

>losing by 10 wickets to Sri Lanka
and I thought it couldn't get any worse after the wc final

u are a very good goy! For the glory of Zion I, I mean the ANZACS

wade's six might make the difference here
proper boundary that

>black gf
>short fast bouncer
>hooking it over midwicket

Proper hate wig culture lads.

Ah nice, must try it

Ask Ramprakash, pretty sure he averaged 1 ban a season for abusing umpires

Based.

cricket has erectile dysfunction ads now lads

reckon it knows its audience

how to get a asain gf lads?

>have to reload stream
>WICKET
pleasant feel

Forgot to bring my box lads, do I borrow one or just go without?

Told ya Wade wouldnt last, gonna be up to Smith and the bowlers yet again

>test captain has never made a hundred
Fucking grim

Worked on Zach

unlucky mate we whitewashed them(they're not very good)

Archer softens him up and Broad gets the edge. Perfect.

Depends. You wearing two pairs of underwear?

wicket got em fuck off

australia are in paine here

>has never made a hundred and is CAPTAIN
>chooses to ball first

clockwork

i'm literally creepwalking rn

Reckon Rory Burns is low-key as autistic as Smoth we just need to wait to see his true power unleashed

team box

this ruins the kiwi

can someone post the story of the aus captain meeting the queen please haha

Paine is so shit

Went on a trip to Africa with school in year 10. Shagged about 15 tribe girls who thought I was like some sort of sex god. There proper filthy as well, they’ll do anything for a coconut.

Attached: AC03EBA6-C2F5-462F-9DB7-0729704B59C5.jpg (310x413, 15K)

nope, just underpants and strides. I might adopt the arse-first batting stance.

>they're not very good
yeah neither are we

Save us smith

Smith always shuffles while Burns looks like he's standing with stakes driven through his feet

If Wade simply scored at his T20 strike rate he would have scored 58.

A full strength Kenyan cricket side

Attached: 1469398027419.jpg (1080x1349, 232K)

>not being in the public service
>not joining the ADF reserves

Kek. I get paid leave from my regular job, then get paid tax-free by the army. It's double pay and a sweet deal.

he's doing it again

a full strength boner

>steps on an IED
heh nothing personnel kid

To think if Paine wasn't the captain he'd probably have been dropped

>fielding a team with 1 batsman and 10 tailenders

What were they thinking lads?

For whom?

Because i'm cripplingly shy for reasons most likely related to insecurity.

Attached: .jpg (1080x1303, 123K)

based Lindy thirsty af

Yeah because he’s a shit batsman, Darren Lehman has had a more recent FC hundred than the captain of Australia

mad to think you could pop over to kenya and recruit one of them to be your wife

I'd have dropped him Alex Carey desu

Dave from your local cricket club.

Really should have Smith open the batting to give him time to make a decent score before everyone else gets out.

meant she's so black she looks like a playable character in a videogame that you haven't unlocked yet haha

lucky bastard

why does australia have all shit batsmen aside from smith and paine

That is was Bancroft's turn.

Anyone got a stream?

dumb cunt cazzie

Think you missed the joke there.

big brain, Carey should def be the keeper

bring him in 3rd, fuck khawaja

Business idea: if the batsman hits the ball and and it knocks down the stumps on the other end of the clay, it's worth 12 runs.

Ram Prakash, good strong English name there.
>lauded as the new batting hope
>average 25 (twenty-five) in your test career
>get hired by england as batting coach
>england haven't scored 400 in that time

What's the follow on?

lmao

>he has to explain his obvious joke to a fellow spastic.

Dark days.

Why should that be worth twice as much as hitting a six? It's not that difficult

>smoth vs england
Seen this episode before, didn’t like it then don’t like it now

Attached: 1563163236602.webm (640x640, 2.05M)

150

It could hit the umps and that's a wicket.

Only if it's on the full.

If Tim Paine was a prisoner he would be called Tim Chain.

You need to get on to those aussie lads in here with their Pick Up Artist knowledge...

Turn on the tv lad. Or are you poor. Kek

sorry lads, i just don't find dark girls attractive.

>tfw no native bunda gf

if Tim Paine were a rapper he'd be T-Paine

Grim

Feels bad lads this should only be 2pm on the second day of play.

FUCKKKKKK

this is the post

woakes averages 9 at lord's but has hardly bowled
poot wants a punch directly to the jaw the twink cunt

Please only post negros if they’re running from law enforcement

Me neither.

If Tim Paine was a Anglo-Saxon lord he would be Tim Thane

>David Warner and Usman Khawaja used to bounce a tennis ball off a wall and play "Classic Catches" together as kids
>they both dropped a catch in the first innings

Really makes you think....

If Tim Paine was the Democratic vice presidential nominee in 2016 he'd be Tim Kaine

Attached: 1530043115875.gif (320x180, 3.8M)

Nazis

Yeah kinda feel this is going nowhere in the end

Doubt Paine would've chosen to bowl first, if it was.

Attached: 1564110001073.jpg (360x368, 11K)

I feel like wickettonite like wickettonite

Yeh i was just pretending to be retarded haha

Attached: 1549185736529.jpg (540x960, 69K)

If Tim Paine started browsing /fit/ he would be Tim Gain.

>Australia have saved the follow-on
Fuck Cuckinfo making it seem Australia were or are in any trouble

I'm still confident england will find a way to lose

How likely are days 4-5 to be rained out?

How's /Asiangf2019/ going lads?

shes not wrong about the fat ugly studs

Based Morata

Khawaja just about earned fine leg duties for the rest of the series off those

Set fair for the weekend I think

11am was supposed to have highest chance of rain and didn't happen so maybe full days now.

>the casuals at pooinfo don't know this is how we always bat

Same old tailenders, always bailing the team out

Smith looking strong.

Attached: 34BF2BE7-9FCD-4E6A-B128-94CE9510A0C6.png (400x380, 315K)

Who didn't do this?

Attached: Pipe cleaner.png (595x300, 333K)

I haven't played classic catches with either of them, have you?

>he didn't have his butler throw leather balls to you in the gardens
howling

>Roy opening
>Denly playing at all
>Bitchstow keeping

Kek, England actually pay money to this midget for this shit

defective heart
defective brain

Attached: file.png (350x509, 213K)

If Tim Kaine was from Aldnoah.Zero, he'd be Tim Slaine

Oh no no no.

smith is even more of a weird cunt since returning to the team right?

did i just forget about his autism while he was banned?

Attached: Emma Watson+Harvey Weinstein+Fear+Emotional Intelligence+Nonverbal+Communication+Speaker+Keynote+Con (1200x630, 649K)

I am about to bust a nut.

shit taste m8

>Tpaine
Can't bat
Can't bowl
Can't wicketkeep
Can't run between wickets

nasser BTFO

Lmao Nassar btfo

Will Nasser ever recover?

>Jason
>Joe x2
>Jos
>Jonny
>Jack
>Jofra
Why is this allowed?

that was incredible banter that

>103-0
O KANE

Never said I liked it

>England don't just waste all their reviews every time someone shouts

What the FUCK is their problem?

Hooting at that Nasser wicket

What happened with nasser I've only got the radio on

>lose zealand
KEK

Compared all of Smith's leaves with one Nasser had in nets earlier and Nasser was the one who got bowled.

Business idea: Wicket liscence

Business idea: EJ Whitten Legends Game but for cricket

ohhohoho don't you look silly now, I bet you'd really like to know after reading all these comments

Facing one in the nets from Johnson and left it as it smashed off stump

What happened to Nas?

Holding starts a segment talking about Spud being good at leaving the ball, knowing the line/length

Then switches to a shot of Johnson clean bowling Nasser 1st ball in the nets.

Then puts Spuds 200-odd leaves and Nasser's one ball crashing into the stumps on a Hawkeye heatmap thing

Nasser seethed

>radio
It's 2019 dude step up

the perpetually nice and charming englishman
vs
the eternally nasty and gruesome pozztralian

He's not a stud though. He just used his power in the industry to have sex with prostitutes / actresses.

Stay hydrated, /cric/

Attached: VZnirNo.jpg (1080x1350, 172K)

could use ten quick wickets here

Hilarious how there's no kiwi flags now SL are cruising to victory

Cricket idea: Replace all the batsmen besides smith with T20 players so they can at least score a few runs before they get out.

Would genocide an entire people for a thick Asian gf tbqh

gib

doesn't work like that mate

gottem

asian girls thighs

Attached: 89147695.jpg (667x999, 82K)

(I actually didn't see it and was wondering myself)
ohoohoohoo now you look doubly silly!

why's she crying?

:(

I prefer to follow cricket on the radio for the most part, plus I'm painting

Wish I was that seat

It's worth a crack, it's not like they could do any worse.....

If they changed the fielding restrictions too

just got an inkling we may be headed for a draw here

yeah pwwee is a hypocrite cunt

Business idea: three teams out on the field at once

what did i say lad

Watching the hateful eight instead lads

Cricket Idea: if you are batting last and won, you can keep on batting till the end of day 5 or till all your wickets are taken
Runs scored after the win count towards your next match at half the amount

Yes they could. Look at Finch's """attempt""" at test cricket

>the English groundskeepers have been out there with a plow cutting grooves into the pitch

I'm onto you cunts

for me, chris woakes is the most attractive member of the england team.

Attached: 4A4DD396-48E5-4D16-92D6-AE8C8E1CE191.jpg (750x411, 314K)

Shastri is staying as coach, saru ké kharab?

it unironically could. at least the test batsmen will face a few deliveries and wear the bowler / ball out a bit lol

its just not cricket

Comfy flick

>grass mysteriously evens out when England come back out to bat
calling it now

Does she have a truckload of makeup on?

very nice flick

He looks like Alan Patridge in season 2.
Root is the worst captain i can remember

i thought we were good at cricket again what the fuck

Seriously I'm not the only one who can see those obvious groves running down the length of the pitch right? They weren't there before!

that must be why the wickets are tumbling

this cunts trying to kill smith
send him off
disgusting cheat

Watching Diana: A Love Affair instead lads

Watching Quentin Cuckentino watch his wife getting fucked a big black bull lads

try sitting out in the middle instead of relying on smoth lad

take your meds mate

cricket wicket yeeah
could use a wicket oooo cricket yeah yeah

wicket in the cricket ooooo feeling good

cricket need a wicket ooo not so good

Based schizo

check this: wicket next over

Is Fartcher a meme player?

Might nip off for a couple of hours to watch White man Fc

tipping paine to get a triple century to justify his selection

based

Off to watch Souf FC today lads

Watching Brazzers - Sharing Is Caring

>watching that over the ashes
dont understand bongs, really dont

could use a wicket if i havent made that clear yet

>NOOOO HOW CAN PAINE BE SELECTED IF HE DOESN'T MAKE BIG SCORES

Attached: 1562693379584.jpg (196x250, 7K)

I've got a season ticket.
Shall be listening to TMS as much as I can though.

>one (1) first class hundred in this career
>in 2005
Yeah next Bradman la

Always enjoy these posts.

I’ve watched 100s of hours of cricket this summer and the ashes will still be on when I’m back.

cant understand anyone who wouldnt?

Attached: cc43da89.jpg (370x700, 48K)

tipping paine to actually catch a ball as wicketkeeper to justify his selection

>that jawline
Her son is the next elliot roger

Whats the point in watching this shit match when it's guaranteed to finish in a fraw?

Paine looks like he's never batted an innings in his life

Archer is actually good lads

Camera man is shit REEEEEEEEEEEE

*reads paper*
*glances up over the top of the paper for a second*
*mumbles “bloody wogs everywhere”*
*resumes reading paper*

Attached: 2726AE9B-A0A9-4DB6-B681-5C95322406AF.jpg (933x933, 152K)

>make plans with a girl
>she was keen at first but now i get the feeling shes a bit reluctant
>she confirms plans
>i confirm but ask if she really wants to go
did i fuck up?

>those sideburns and jawline

How big is his cock?

>He's not a stud
you wouldn't know what masculinity is if it bent you over and prolapsed your colon

Attached: alpha patriarch.jpg (960x720, 94K)

anyone seen KP: Story of a Genius ?

Yeah, amazing for a debut.

For who?

123 ooo ill make another plee

get a wicket and that'll set me free

>asian
probably not very haha

>that cheeky Paine run

based

>Sri Lankan opener averages 24
Test cricket is dead

>be insecure
>telegraph it

Seems A-OK to me mate.

>saru ké kharab
what?

in awe

I just don't want to waste my time.

Not getting enough (You)s here fellas. Might switch over to the footy shortly

Judy FYI

Will Smith get a double century

based Toilet Till
tuck your chin you shitter, stop thinking Colin knows everything

Attached: download.jpg (594x420, 74K)

Can't find it. There's the ITV one posted on yt though which also shows how miserable it is to play for England

HE'S DOING IT

For me, it's buying hand cream so you can bat with soft hands

no, he get's mentally frazzled at 140, it's his biggest weakness.

Well then just be straight up with her, tell her you don't really want to go through the hassle unless you know you're going to get a root out of it.

Idiot, always give people the benefit of the doubt you are just coming across as insecure

it's a fuckup if you actually like her. if you're a bit meh on it probably saving both of you a painful night by calling it off

make no mistake, saying 'do you really want to go' is calling it off

dont really ever watch cricket... is this going to go beyond 5 days because of being rained out or is it ending at 5 days no matter what? wont it almost certainly be a draw then? what is the point of carrying on

Is he about to /freak this/?

For me, it's using lubricant.

>>saru ké kharab
Good or bad?

Will New Zealand take a wicket?

give the roody poo some practice, even if its raining

will try and digest all of this. she hasn't read the message yet, should i delete it?

PAINE!!!
THE GOAT!!!
THE NEXT BRADMAN!!!!

More importantly, will anyone care?

No, mate. Deleting it would run contrary to being yourself.

anybody have a decent stream? please

Could go for a lusty blow through the covers myself lads

gf just stood on the cat's tail again
It's always an accident, never her fault
Reckon she'd drop the baby if we had one

open wide

Wait till she reads it, then delete it, then send her a completely different message as if she'd never read the first one.
That should really telegraph your insecurities.

the media crucified Smith and are the reason he copped a year instead of the ICC recommended month.
based retard

here m8

*pisses on you*
*farts*

you think batting legends are made of pure grit, talent and hardwork? think again, kiddo.
every generation has its greats, and the media and the cricketing world needs a timeless cricketing hero to lift the sport, an ambassador who stands above the rest
but the fact is, there are PLENTY of great cricketing talent who all have their strengths and can dominate over an entire team with their skills
so how does one go about creating this one legendary icon, one that can stand apart from the rest?
i will tell you exactly how, my friends.
it's through pure psychological manipulation of everyone involved. the media through its power as an influencer, brainwashes the public and the cricketing world in thinking that this player is unbeatable, CANNOT BE BOWLED OUT, he is TECHNICALLY THE MOST PERFECT PLAYER THERE EVER WAS!
what does this do to the minds of the bowler and opposing teams who are strategizing a way to get him out? OVERTHINKING, and becoming paralyzed when things you and your think-tank have contrived doesn't seem to be working, when the simple answer is to KISS (keep it simple stupid)
you want to get Steven Peter Devereux Smith out? it's quite simple friends, just look at his RIDICULOUS guard and shuffle, and keep bowling a line which is stump to stump. das it.
Steven Peter Devereux Smith is a fraud, a fraud created by the cricketing media. 'nuff said

Attached: 1566006380829.webm (898x720, 1.96M)

hmm need to find
kharab of course

that's our joke monkey, you fucked it up anyway

Here you go

Attached: 5B345526-7399-4DDF-A2FA-27896CE6FF9A.jpg (1920x1080, 562K)

Probably not

would make the biggest sledger in sheffield shield australian captain if i was langer

>raising a cat instead of a baby

Based and millennialpilled.

off to footy lads, have a good one

only if you be less bitter
worldsports.online/?p=305

grim

i wasnt doing the meme i really would like a stream please

just got 90 agility lads

Is cricket considered a bogan sport in Australia? Who are the most bogan players? I'm guessing McGrath and Matthew Hayden

one two seven i could be in heaven

if only a wicket was had

Cats are shot tier pets

I'm not going to jail when she accidentally flings the baby out a window

But the game is almost over.

don't come back

it's not really. literally everyone in australia watches cricket so its got no connotation one way other the other.

sorry I'm almost finished *shakes out the last couple drops into your faggot mouth*

youtube.com/watch?v=q_KSiya49N8

skysports.com/get-sky
Sorry mate, here you go.

Yeah, but how much do you weigh?

oh boy i think i fucked up bad. i hope everything ends up all right but wowee this is not looking good.

Nah it's universal
Maybe a bit more country

>Leach on
Hahaha, time for Smith to get a quick ton

-24kg

Cricket transcends class, young Warnie was pretty bogan though

imagine unironically paying for sky sports AND a tv license lmao

If Jack Leach was a tasty and succulent fruit he would be Jack Peach

reckon targeting the lbw is a good idea since we've already dropped seven wickets and missed a stumping

really dont like jack leach's appearance, lads.

this is different

Playing Don Bradman Cricket 17 career mode and putting every available point into cover drive

So why is England trying to copy Australia?
Nathan Lyon is the only bald spinner to me

for me it's closing the mouth and breathing through the nose

more like Jack Leech

Warne is bald underneath all that hair

damien fleming
shane warne

no, we aren't doing this, be quiet

Brighton

wish i never sent that message

Attached: 1353918897414.jpg (645x773, 119K)

maybe they should've caught them lol

Is this an effective strategy?

We all are lad
Im hoping Gazza gets a Ashely and Martin sponsorship soon though lad, they did wonders with Warne

>130-0
Creasing myself

It's the ITV one, not sky.

>NOOOOO I DONT LIKE LEACH HE LOOKS WEIRDDDD

Attached: based soi.jpg (251x269, 27K)

Stop overthinking it. Go on your date and enjoy yourself. If it doesn't work out, you haven't lost anything.

Seems to work for limited overs but I keep edging to the fucking slips in tests.

t. Jennings

imagine unironically begging for scraps of a stream like a little bitch child.

Maybe their fielders are as bad as ours?

Leach would be a good looking bloke if he had hair

Redpilled

What good would catching a wicket do? Reckon they'd be better off catching the ball.

Yeah, I really should. Just going to try and enjoy the cricket and forget about it. Sure it'll be all right. Thanks fren.

>OMG I just LOVE left arm orthodox bowling

Attached: 1535503381725.png (330x153, 8K)

Shut up Poo Peeland
Go lose to the elite and muscular Sri Lankan Cricket Team in peace please

literally nobody likes england

Nah, just enjoy your life.

Grim

If you don't love it, leave.
Simple as.

Don't worry England, i like you :3 *hugs you tightly*

Love that Smith reaction when he got hit on the hand
Such a lovely autist

Not liking this run rate.

a lot of interesting faces being mad eby smith here

Mitchell Johnson is alright on TMS, better than Mcgrath. Also has the producer on edge because he's already said "bollocks" and "buggered" on-air

not even the english like england, i know because i am english

Looked like he was trying to use the force

truly

t. Pom

Always had the image of BSKs due to their supremacy in rugby, but the cricket has outed them as a bunch of whiny little girls who actually - actually - care about limited overs.

Poo Peeland getting angry they are losing against Shit Lanka

trips of Truth innit bla x
'chabin

Rude

SMITH GONE

>new zealand get blown the fuck out in cricket
>start blindly lashing out
every time

Hey lads my country lost again, can I still post here?

Most certainly.

>ask ump for guard
>scrape your little boot somewhere else
Smith lad what was that

i used to work with a sri lankan lady called lanka, what does that mean?

Couldn't get a wicket to save ourselves good fucking lord

>"Nah surely not..."
>"Although... maybe this pom gets the broadcast a few seconds before me.... maybe he gets out this ball..."
>see his smiling happy face as the bowler walks in
>"Nah not a chance"

You can't fool me that easy pom.

no problem, i do it all the time.

God it felt good cucking them in the World Cup

Did you hear him panic half way through a rant about black players having greater bone density yesterday? "Err...those sorts of players....err....not your western players...errr"

sure bud plenty of room in the losers lounge
*pours you a drink*

holy mother of reddit

can you explain what happened?

Very kind

Reckon smoth lurks /cric/ in his evenings?

she was a tall and skinny as a baby

He isn't your average /pol/tard mate, doubt he was thinking about bone density

Cricket Idea: Use DNA from Smith to make enough copies or children so every team can have 6/7 Smithj batsmen

>just thought about how i sent that message again
this one's not letting me go lads boy oh boy

Attached: 1353415660000.jpg (230x300, 20K)

Love Smith's autism swipes

I hope he does, so he realises that his style of batting is perfectly fine and shouldn't care what others say about it

Attached: 1511582680164.jpg (252x251, 21K)

Missed that one, tell me about it

Celts have denser bone structure than Anglos, I know this

jesus fuck off I DON'T CARE post it on /r9k/ or something

eliminate smith DNA

Attached: 1565510043212.jpg (863x1080, 455K)

Cricket Idea: Get Smith to habitually Jizz into the mouths of the other "Batsmen" on the team until they become more like him and actually start scoring runs

...

They were talking about West Indians not getting injuries from fast bowling. Mitch goes off on one about bone density (which is a fair point), realizes he doesn't know the correct way to describe black players and just goes into panic mode.

Looking good m8

>strewth m8, you know those guys have an extra bone in their foot and fast twitch muscle fibres m8

>not wanting an elite batting line-up for 15+ years

Like boys from Brazil but they could do it in Argentina because they've old cricket clubs already. It's a good idea for a story but it's not so good an idea morally, I think.

Ah yeah you blew it
Never mind plenty of fish blah blah

Slut Idea: Let me consume his jizz as i have a taste for semen

very nice ass m8

Did he actually say "bone density" what the fuck lmao

based autist

PEEch getting blown the fuck out

When I was 11 my teacher explained quite well and not in an at all racist manner, why generally black athletes are better sprinters and white athletes are better swimmers.

Noice shot to bring up the 50.

>Boundaries in 30 metres
Absolutely DISGUSTING.

Another episode of Steve Smith win lel

Yeah, straight up. "I know I read that in some..err...reports"

>"Well you see niggers have thicker, denser bones.. and they also have thicker skulls and sloped foreheads which are effective at deflecting blows..... and their brains are smaller, lighter and have more cushioning around them so they are less susceptible to concussion"

MITCH NO WHAT ARE DOING

Leach to Smith, FOUR runs, leaps out, gives it the old honky-tonk over midwicket

>Leach to Smith, FOUR runs, leaps out, gives it the old honky-tonk over midwicket... Into an unguarded area of the field and that will bounce away, taking Smith to 50 for the third time in the series
God bless ya Smoth
Onto another century

Wish I could watch that but I can't find any service giving full replays of play, just highlights

imagine being kevin pietersen

So we're all in agreement Smith is the 2nd greatest batsman of all time, right?

Why do our spinners not spin the ball

big fan of 43 rps myself lads

Just boiled the kettle la, you want anything

need to get smith out while he's in the nervous 340s

smith is on fire

No. Bradman is overrated as shit.

Black coffee, cobber. Thanks

Attached: EB-DyvGW4AEDnuq.jpg (1440x1080, 105K)

He or Lara, I'm of the opinion we start arguing about it once he retires.

chuck some ramen noodles in there lad

curry pot noodle

pour it straight in my eyes lad

reverse psychology

instant coffee standard, and a couple of custard creams if there's any going please mate

T-paine is actually playing OK

Wouldn't say no to some chilled water.

no, he's just dominating a weak era

They're setting him up for the one that doesn't go on.

it's amazing honestly

>91% on leg side
hmmm

Attached: Screenshot 2019-08-17 at 5.26.18 PM.png (1182x990, 1.72M)

Paine is usually good for a hard fought 30.

Very lucky

I rekcon they should try bowling at the stumps, see if they can get him LBW.

Attached: mr-t-paine-fdf33sd.jpg (1440x900, 512K)

HERE WE GO LADS
TIME FOR A BIT OF CHIN MUSIC

he always does this. looks solid for 30-35 runs then just throws his wicket away

>Put some fielders on the leg side
>Bowl at the top of off stump
What does he do?

A good few of those shots were played from outside off.
We are witnessing something very special in the history of cricket.

30-35 is better than most of our peem

reckon we're on track for a declaration with Paine on 99*

Ahaha yeh it was hilarious, (i think) it was Aggers on-air with him practically having a stroke. Also when Simon Mann introduced the fast bowling segment with Johnson as "one of the most feared pacers of his time" and Isa Guha "whose wiki entry says Right Arm Fast" - she took it well. Then when they asked the Loughborough Academy coach if women might ever bowl as fast as the men he had to say "why not?" Instead of "fuck no not in my lifetime"

Backfoot drives you through the covers or point.

in case you haven't noticed he shuffles a long wqy across

Why don't England just put all their fielders on the leg side lol

>tune into the footy during lunch break
>peemantle getting BTFO by essendone
KEK

>ywn give gentlemanly applause to the spirited visitors in your dinner jacket

why not? Is a very clever answer to a loaded question.

Settle down buddy, he's only made a half century

big brain plays desu

He can't do that unless he stops shuffling across.

You've got fielders there to cover it.

>footy
YIKES imagine having watching any kind of "football"

australian rules football is the GOAT sport (not including cricket)

not enough fielders

Comfy TMS for life, lad

You might though mate, it's not that difficult to become a member at at least a few places with test grounds.

>he doesn't watch afl

idk man footy hasn't really been that good since it went soft

>that way next time he's ribbed about how few centuries he has, he can say he would have more but he plays for the team not himself, then cite that as the example

pretty genius tbqph

cant imagine living in a country with no AFL

BECAUSE THERE MY MATES

How does David Gower look 80 years old

why are they both wearing meme jumpers

>aussie rules
yea no thanks

was wondering the same thing

Might put 20 on Arsenal to win the league

>not including cricket
Nah, including cricket too.

I live in Brisbane, the Gabba member's reserve is all polo shirt and thong wearing flogs

>watching AFL
>player taps the ball on the ground because he isn't comfortable bouncing it

>watching AFL
>player taps the ball on the ground too hard a loses it

What the actual fuck? Pretty sure we mastered that shit back in the AusKick days at 8 years of age.

nah test cricket is better than aussie rules

Imagine the crunching sound of a Kiwis skull getting caved in haha

Bombers have the worst jumpers, I don't understand what's wrong with always using the plain sash

You now remember Chris Tremlett

I might bet on soccer being a shit watch

easy money

>"aussie rules" football
>AFL world cup, the sport's more premier competition, is dominated by papa new guinea, a country so shit I misspelled its name

Attached: 1452202228539.jpg (1424x1914, 246K)

t. self proclaimed big strong hard cunt

>135 to win
>10 wkts in hand
That's still ok right?

K E K
E
K

how many AFL world cups does england have mate?

Did Kane do the old tactical early declare or is your entire team just shit at batting?

three
Absolutely Fucking Lit :)

Attached: 1564857115076.jpg (750x597, 74K)

Want to kms, honestly. Cannot believe what I've done.

If Jack Leach bowled a really good ball he'd be Jack Peach

reckon I'll take the punt on the mushroom and spinach wellington, along with the soup and the elite Eton Mess

Attached: Capture-lords menu d4.jpg (631x844, 99K)

Just quite shit at cricket generally as expected.

Red white and blue. God that’s kino.

Think that one on the right is cricket. Not sure about the other two.

If Jack Leach bowled a really good ball he wouldn't be Jack Leach

Gotta admit that wellington was the one that really jumped out at me. Love me spinach, love me mushies.

If Jack Leach stretched to acquire something, he'd be Jack Reach.

>Not sure about the other two.
Funny because England defeated Australia in the middle one. I think England defeated Western Australia in the left one too.

It's ok lad, most of our team is too, but luckily we have a few GOATS who make up for it.

I'll have the soup, bass with rice, and the rhubarb sponge

Stokes. Tune x

Why have I done what I've done?

I'M GONNA BLEED
RED, WHITE AND BLUE
I'M GONNA BLEED
RED, WHITE AND BLUE
I'M GONNA BLEED
RED, WHITE AND BLUE
I'M GONNA BLEED
RED, WHITE AND BLUE

>putting a whole country up against a sparsely populated desert state

That's not really all that fair is it mate?

What's the point of the Lord's lunch menu being fucking massive if they have dietitians and fitness coaches who will go mental if they actually eat all that?

>I think England defeated Western Australia in the left one too.
explain? i thought it was a wogball cup

>Women's sports

Just take a diuretic after lad

Soup sounds lovely, follow up with the bass. Bit of fruit salad for dessert though need to stay limber

>Women

KP is based

Wouldnt be feeding just the players mate

Australia still has more world cups than England if you count rugby league

Why would you count anything but cricket?

The twitter account calls it the player's dining room. Maybe my autism got in the way again, who else is meant to eat in there?

>if you count rugby league

I'm Australian and I like the rugby league world cup, but even for me that's a bit rich.

Attached: 1430035911488.jpg (250x250, 12K)

We have way more world cups than England even if you don't count rugby league
2 rugby vs 1
5 cricket vs 1
0 soccer vs 1

Butternut squash is SHIT
You can't change my mind

feel like shit

mate it's called a pumpkin

I'd have to imagine coaches and umpires at the very least, most likely high ranking officials as well

>counting soccer but not hockey

yeah we're 3 vs their 0,but i didnt want to apear biased

Lunch break kino

youtube.com/watch?v=iXm8tF-lJP4

Forgot netball.

I think there's one thing we can ALL agree on: America has won the most Baseball "World" Series'.

PETER SIDDLE HAS A HATTRICK ON HIS BIRTHDAY

little joke because the actual opponent was West Germany :PPppPppPp

my thought too, it's the only pumpkin to ever use to make pumpkin soup

ah okay, went over my head because i know fuck all about wogball
might have worked otherwise haha

freo playing like shit honestly

What was the middle sport?

worst part about the commentary is "not yet he hasn't"

shut up cunt you ruined the moment

rugby union

Have you ever had parsnip soup?

I've always hated Mark "County Cricket" Nicholas.

>9 showing the scorecard from the start of the day
classic fuck ups

don't think so, never enjoyed parsnips either

Do you think Smoth separates all the food on his plate so they don't touch each other?

i kind of like mark nicholas but his commentary during that was so fucking shit. completely ruined his hattrick

okay, i've convinced myself that despite my fuckup, it wont matter and we'll have a good day tomorrow.

Why you Aussie lads aren't promoting good Aussie bands, huh?
youtu.be/LSgz7Ept79o

Fucken gay band mate

>aww man I had a bad day today
>I had to stop at some red lights FML

Attached: 416x416.jpg (416x416, 17K)

I like the murlocs and king gizz

youtube.com/watch?v=BER6MR3iLQg

Attached: murdochlanoire.jpg (620x347, 64K)

...

More like king jizz AHAHAH GET IT? BECAUSE THEY'RE FUCKEN GAY!!!

Can't stand that kind of stuff I'm afraid. But Aus does have some quality music.

it's mostly terrible
youtube.com/watch?v=Pc5xTFVcMjo
>my body is the temple of fucking doom

Reminds me of The Strokes a little.