/cric/ - Ashes day 3 rain edition

Will Head score a century?

The moment englel figure out how to get Smith out it's over. Should have just brought a whole team of spinners.

William Head Institution is a Canadian minimum-security federal correctional institution for men located in Metchosin, British Columbia, about 25 kilometers southwest of Victoria on the southernmost tip of Vancouver Island. The Institution opened in 1959 and can house 200 inmates. Inmates live in 5 units of eight groups/duplexes. William Head uses an individual approach focused on basic programs.

>100(352)

Smith's already starting to sperg autistically
200 incoming

Why do people say “Steve Smith is in fantastic shape”. He’s literally a fat cunt, look at those tits

Based Watling

based autism leave

watGOD

and postpone the 3rd test, not the worst idea.

He’s powering himself up, gotta get him now while he’s vulnerable before he reaches maximum autism

aah me thoomb

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based lord jesus breaking bearbros thumb at lords for rain cheating

KEK

deadstow

Ginger fuck and his weak bones

Just put Buttler there and swap ginge for another fielder innit

you just know Langer slipped Smith some red cordial before he came out to bat

peak batting physique is not formed in the gym m8

>rain cheating
>cheating
From an Aussie this is hilarious

If Smith gets out early, will Australia even make 150?

janneh beerstow

rain cheating vs rain man batting, who will win?

>tfw have Smith's physique
reckon I could bat for Australia?

Our secret plan shall be unfurled after drinks

>nooooo how can the weather and pitch vary it needs to be 45c and a road at all times for us to play

You mean fed him some red crayons and put Dora the Explorer on the changing room tv for him

Hopefully he needs the thumb amputated and will never play again, that would be great

southee has done enough here

nah first the world cup and now rain cheating.
Englel are the new champs of cheating

nah he would still whinge for the gloves

Will Somerville score a century?

with the ball yeah

Is 178/8 good?

any1 got an acestream link

Business idea: keeper wears one glove and give the other to a fielder or possibly the bowler

phwoar imagine the spin you could get with a big glove

This stream's pretty ace m8

*pisses on you*

Will Sutherland become the next Keith Miller?

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A thought - steroids in cricket. Want some mad juiced up bowlers that look like fiddler crabs

love watching smith bat, you just know the brits are seething every minute of it

>commentators making fun of smiths autism

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

reckon meth would provide more entertaining results

>it's another Smith pretends he's a Jedi with a light-saber episode
based

Give one to the batman and if he can catch it he gets to toss it to his partner to smack. Most boundaries at the end is the winner.

eating toffees while watching cricky haha

you'd just end up with a bunch of shannon gabriel tier mongs

is watling, dare i say, good?

Farting pooing peeing vomiting

Aussies on the ropes desu

will be key here for Australia to not lose more wickets while scoring a lot of runs

Imagine a 15 straight day/night game with that

is he a kiwi? probably not

the boundary ropes that is

have no idea who youre talking about lad
maybe make an irrelevant grig games thread

he's very good when everybody else is shit

Dropped catch?

Is SPD Smith related to power rangers SPD?

If Steve Smith smelled really bad all the time he would be Steve Whiff

>Steve Smith on meth
Uh oh

Overbowling Archer already, classic England management of a prize pacer

reminder that david warner has a grand total of 13 runs after facing a grand total of 39 balls across 3 innings and is a totally useless fucking dickhead

Why does he wave his bat around like that, what a fucking spazz

Utterly loving the Smith redemption arc and the complete desolation of Warner tbqh.

If Steve Smith was jacked he'd be Steve Biff

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>NO, YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP FIDDLING WITH YOUR PADS WHILST BATTING

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Would've said this six months ago but now that he's back I just want him to score some facking runs

Im not. I actually like warner and want him to do well

If Steve Smith were a big fucking stone slab hed be Steve Plinth

>making fun of autism on live television

Australia won't get more than 190

Oh yes and these digits confirm that fact for sure. Also frog posting is based and a major part of the identity of spee and these numerals also confirm that

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kane needs 9 runs of 11 deliveries in his next innings to match this record

If Steve Smith was the captain of a Liverpool team fighting for a premier league title he would be Steve Slip
>0PL

Based Jedi Smoth

its pepe you fucking newcunt

>smith when he comes out to bat

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name a more comfy place to watch cricket from than an old overgrown fort

business idea: steve smith - trent boult batting partnership

We had the original autist, but Trott didn’t have enough autism to last. Smith appears to have a never ending well of autism to draw on.

Upal Tharanga Lela

>its

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>NOOOOOO YOU CAN'T LEAVE THE BALL LIKE THAT WHAT IS HE THINKING

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For me, its the steve smith battle manga

its leela lad

haha you wouldn't teach a kid to bat like that haha

Smith and Head partnerships are kino

thought u were speaking indian then realised this is from futurama

>NOOOOOOO DONT POINT OUT THAT ENGLAND HAD AN ADVANTAGE WHEN IT STARTED RAINING AND TWO WICKETS IMMEDIATELY FELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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calm down m8 have a cone

>Steve Smith getting bullied for his appearance by Nasser Hussain

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U ok hun?

give me an acestream link you kiwi faggot

PM me sweaty xxx

tfw my coach used to mock my autistic leave style and now based smitty is vindicating me on the world stage

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anybody make a webm of the compilation of smoth's leaves?
looked like it was directed by tarantino

>Nasser Hussain
>OBE
the state of england

Post your telephone number and I will

Better be some bat on that.

GONE.

State of this umpiring

WALK YOU CHEATING FUCK

:]

>pooleem dar

imagine losing an ashes series at home lads.....

Watched the new Tarantino film yesterday. Didn't mention Smith or even cricket in general

Australia losing their Head again

FUCK
CUNT
PISS
SHIT
FUCK THIS SHIT
SON OF A CUNT

Aleem darr what the fucking fuck that’s out as fuck

fucking rain skid bowls
FUCKING CHEATING CUNTS FUCK YOU

>Aleem Dumb

Somebody get the rain didgeridoo

Fuck that's plumb
state of faileem

england are a head here

>halfway down middle stump
>not out

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>gaping hole between bat and ball
>plum centre
>low

How the fuck do you not call that?

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is aleem dar steaming?

Smith should be able to bat by himself in order to avoid having his innings dragged down by shitters.

>NOOOOO WHY ISNT THE WICKET A BAKING ROAD AAAAAAAGGGHHHH SAVE ME JUSTIN

collapsing lads

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surely australia could not score less than 146. surely

business idea: a quentin tarantino film about the sandpaper scandal and redemption arc

australia will have to wade through this tough period

lmao broad's change in facial expression

Rain when?

fuck up cunt >you cunts batted on a road and still fucked up
for some reason >we have to bat in the fucking rain
put the fucking covers on you cheating cunts

>NO, YOU CAN'T JUST WALK ACROSS THE STUMPS AND BAT OUTSIDE OFF

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anybody listening to the ABC Radio call?

broad is p handsomb tbqh if I was a 13 year old girl I would schlick to him

Will there be a single 500+ innings this series?

umps mentally cooked yet again

PLEASE AN ACESTREAM LINK

>for some reason we have to bat in the rain
That reason is Tim Paine m8

Yeah but the act of posting him is frog posting.

Also you are rude

>water all over the camera lens
>raincoats and umbrellas in the crowd
seething a bit here lads

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wallop

FUCK THE ENGLISH

Well certainly not if you talk to me like that

No, this is frog posting. Will you just relax, be yourself, be original.

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Must involve a scene where Steve Smith batters several household pets to death with his bat

Just want to die lads

Set up a water slide on the pitch

Magic mushrooms lad

Please, Kind Sir, would you provide me with an Acestream link?

Best wishes

just be high every waking moment lmao

All played by sassy negros

50% chance of a wicket when bowling at the stumps
reckon we should try that more

read this as wanking moment

*rain cheats in your path*

If we lose 5-0 to this shower of cunts I'm going to off myself.

I disagree

Anybody else with a brapfetish actually gotten a bird to do fart stuff with them?

>umpire in charge of deciding when to stop play due to rain
we're fucked

it's literally bucketing there what the fuck

mmm yes, let the pitch soak up all that rain the help the medium pacers

That works too.

this is the same ump that thought travis head was not out he probably doesn't realise it's raining

>NOOOOOOOO IT'S NOT FAIR HOW CAN THE CONDITIONS CHANGE IN TEST MATCHES
IT SHOULD ALL BE THE SAME LIKE IT IS IN T20

In fairness, he's wearing a hat.

You can't have a whole match rained off. People want to see cricket. Let them play whatever the weather. It affects both teams the same

Cheeky bit of Stokes medium pacers in this weather.

england and australia are both so fucking gay and stupid but england is way more gay and stupid

They would've gone off if it was raining.

I'd be pissed off if England had to bat in this shit. kawaja and Head both got out from rain skid balls

Will Leach get a bowl?

>It affects both teams the same
brainlet

Why can't aussies produce good AND good to watch batsmen?

>inb4 m waugh
Shit average
>inb4 martyn
My pet cat could bat at #6 in that aussie team

this commentary from mitch is really really shit

>it starts raining
>get the kwik cricket plastic bats and balls out
>also implement one-hand-one-bounce rules

Woakes is your best batsman lad

Lads I'm at Lord's and just captured this shot on my phone, had to be careful because the perfidious security guards don't want any of this being known publicly

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>pitches ball up to the cunt
>beaten all ends up
Dumb upright Englel might have finally figured it out

Also
>4s count as 6 and 6s count as 4 to encourage them to play properly along the ground

The fabled slicky sticky wicket

>how do we get Steve Smith out
Steve Smith is the only man who can get Steve Smith out
sorry brehs

Not fond of this strike rate. >We batting for the draw already?

Steve Smith is literally America

*tumbles into bed*

just being outplayed lad

Why do the commentators keep saying the conditions are favourable for bowling?
Honestly no idea, any of you kind lads explain?

Australia: battles on in literal sleet without complaint

England: excuse me, the stump mic is buzzing! Cease play for half an hour and sort this out!

Will Smith make a mistake? Apart from marrying Jada, obviously.

Rain is getting in the batsmen's eyes and they can't get it out due to helmet and gloves.

>countries greatest 'athlete' punches a 60 year old man in the head and still doesnt knock him out

Honestly, test cricket should never be stopped for rain.

Overcast and raining
Cloud cover helps the ball move through the air and the rain makes the ball skid erratically and harder for the batsmen to see

Eng bowling disciplined so far to the autistic twat. Wide line make him fetch it, an old saffa tactic

I mean it's clearly easier to bat with rain in your eyes, dumbarse commentators

do aussie fans ever stop whinging about absolutely everything the opposing team does

Fuck up you prosaic twat

You can work up quite a sweat running in to bowl. The rain keeps bowlers fresh.

why havent they just said its raining and that helps the bowlers?

Skippy?

Hard to argue with that

It isn't rain, it's actually a fine mist

I think we can all agree it's not snowing.

ITS SNOWING AT THE CRICKET!

>bowl in rain
>ball skids and does weird shit
>ball gets out of shape earlier
>get new ball when it stops raining
not liking this lads

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Are you fucking serious cunt? Poms have a reputation for being the biggest fucking whingers on the planet. All you fucking do is complain. Shut up you fucking spastic cunt.

Brainy stuff from Wade

It doesn't really help the bowlers though. It's harder to play all round in the rain but it's more harder to bat than to bowl compared to fine conditions.

stop complaining mate

kidding arent you cunt. If you hit the side of the ball with no seam it stays low and accelerates of the pitch

reckon wade should try get off the mark haha

>complains about whinging poms

moan moan moan
listen to yourself

>accelerates of the pitch
Might be a slight overstatement that.

Yap yap yap

Fucking state of the umpiring

literally just happened to wade

fuck OFF dogcunt umps

>Bounces miles outside leg
>Out
The state of these umpires.

>do aussie fans ever stop whinging
No, but it works for 'em.

umpires are pure garbage, holy shit

Reckon they should just flip a coin for every lbw appeal.

it'd defy the laws of physics to accelerate off the pitch. what you mean is it loses less pace.

The ball is slippery, the ground is slippery so you've to mind your grip and footwork. If it's really heavy you can't see the stumps.
Has it never rained where you live?

Sorry lads. Bit new to cricket. That ball was definitely hitting the stumps so why was it given not out? Why does it pitching outside the stumps matter?

It physically cannot accelerate without force being applied.

easy (You)s, thanks boys

umps just making it up as they go out there

fair call. loses less pace then, like it just did to wade.
would you fuck off potato nigger

>white umpire fucks up
>michael vaughan is silent

Honestly think all of you armchair umps can eat a dick. Its much harder than it looks

sometimes they dont award wickets if it'd make the game less competitive. for example it'd be boring if australia jsut got blown the fuck out so there's a bit of leeway given

dont know mate its clearly called leg before wicket and his leg stopped the ball from hitting the wickets so idk what is going on its a bloody disgrace they need to learn the rules

this but unironically

You can't pitch it outside leg when bowling down the leg side. If he was bowling the other side you can pitch it outside off though.

Aleem, stop shit posting on the field you have a match to fuck up mashallah

Huh?

no it isnt
I get every call correct from my armchair, and they're actually AT the game and can't get things right.
whatever they are paid it is too much. useless

Lads, why does Smith leave the ball like an autist with that flapping down of the bat?

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This is true and it's also why we don't need umpires on the pitch

Yeah but why?

just wait til you see him riposte out a "Wait on, NO"

I would gladly umpire a test match if they would let me. I do a way fucking better job than these cunts.

>that bow
cringe

years of swatting away flies in aussie summer

to annoy Englel players, support staff, fans and the English population in general.

What does heave ho unna mean?

>1 more over played and the spectators won't get their money refunded
KEK

we need a robot umpire like in robot wars with hawkeye built in. for caught behind we just trust batsmen to walk if they hit it. sport solved

Easiest bait of my life

>23 balls
>0 runs
nice """""""'sport""""""""""

why are you getting angry mate? I'm trying to help you to understand what rain is that's all mate, relax, I'm on your side.

It's what gay dudes say when the dick goes in each others ass

*tunes into the footy*

>Sue in Teddington: Smith really is a horrible player to watch. With his nervous tics and idiosyncrasies and constant hopping around. He is more teenager at his first disco than professional sportsman. As smooth as lumpy porridge.

Smith BTFO

>yfw snicko is the umpire

>playing through the rain until no refund given
Based umps working crowdettys into a shoot

Just so you know, mate, I didn't reply to you.

"unna" is like yeah! or enthusiastic agreement, Fred is just cheering his shitters

needed to get smith out under the meme clouds. this match is as good as lost for england

Can you apologise to me now please, cheers.

>this crowd
peemons should be axed from the competition

Quickest way of getting the bat out of the way. Means you can decide whether to leave or play later. His style ought to revolutionise the orthodox batting paradigm

If Travis Head got hit by a bouncer from Abbott he'd be Travis Dead

would agree if they weren't literally the original football club and oldest professional football (any code) club in the world.

lel I did think about your post

Um, yes you did sweaty :)

Ah shit, not Sue in Teddington. You don't want to mess with Sue in Teddington.

you fucking idiot apologise to ME now

this has been one of the worst augusts I can remember weather wise
I live on the south coast and it has rained at least 6 or 7 days as well as blowing gales
utterly grim country this ngl

I said 2 hours at a push. You disputed this. It's been 2 hours exactly :]

He definitely won't

I know you

Not sure what relevance this has in a professional sporting league.

why is englel allowed to host cricket matches? every second one is rained out

yeah but it was two hours easy

history mate. dont want to bne a plastic bullshit league like american sports

Bet "Sue" is Smith's mum

He also plays really late on it, so to get his bat out of the way he needs to move it fast. His other things are to keep his feet moving so hes stepping late.

Can remember plenty of fuckups from people getting out leaving the ball off deflections

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Apparently there hasn't been a draw there since 2016 surprisingly

Climate change, innit.

M Hussey

His dad is called lock

More draws put more pressure on the other games. I thought Aussies could handle the pressure

Thinking about if the gulf stream stops. Might just die

Don't they own the MCG?

rain innit

Mental that it was nearly 40c a couple of weeks ago and now we've got this shite.

yeah because we can't bat more than a couple of sessions and neither can most of our opponents

Ah, so this is why players are coached to bat with a certain technique. Anything different and all the Sue in Teddington's get riled up.

sounds like global cooling m8

the gubmint does

A month's worth of rain in one day today in Devon (as I told the Aussie who is basically refusing to walk).

if smith reads that comment I think it's fair to say his confidence will be utterly ruined.

sadly made me laugh more than i should have (You)

rape

Beefy looking beefier than ever.

ETA on play resuming lads?

Tomorrow. Definitely not back today.

Sue is a fan of muscular and elite batsmen only

They've taken lunch, so at least 40 minutes from when they went off.

Why does eating an apple make me feel more hungry?

Hopefully after lunch

Day's done, I'd say

if steve smith was fat he'd be steve width

Thanks for proving my point again. He was very effective but not aesthetic (not smoth levels of hideous though). These are aesthetic (and good) players:
Lara
Sachin
Laxman
Gavaskar
Sehwag
Anwar
Dravid
Ganguly
Kohli
Yuvraj
Azharuddin
Youhana
Gower

>Lara
>Sehwag

>Aesthetic

mike hussey had nice cover drives and a good pull
he doesn't deserve to be on a list of unaesthetic players

who comes in for Bushman after we bottle this Test?

>England have to resort to bullying Smith and his technique in hopes he hears about it and stops
Pathetic, just find an autiist yourself and have him do the same

If steve smith was fat he'd be steve cooper m8.

>Sehwag
Fucking what. The faggot just planted his two feet on the spot and swung for the hills.

If Seaweed is on your list, then add Dilshan as well. Literally memesloggers.

>no Jayawardene
peasant

I think you might be gay for brown men

Harris will come in for warner/bancroft and the busman will keep his spot

If Steve Smith manufactured cooking appliances, he'd be Stove Smith

Bushman may end up our second highest scorer this innings mate what are you on about

burns' technique is swimming with autism but he's not at that level yet

Greg Chappell you casual

>Sehwag
Only his drives were aesthetic

For me, its fast bowlers with Aesthetic actions

Maybe playing the tests earlier in the summer when the days are longer too might be something to consider.

If Steve Smith got out to an umpiring mistake and couldn't review he'd be Steve's Miffed.

Still a bit mad that you all corrected my grammar yesterday to be quite honest (tbqh).

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Should just play in the rain.

Give me some aesthetic spin bowlers lads
I lame the ICC for that and their stupid decision to host the odi world cup before the ashes

yeah think there was some sort of event that pushed the ashes to later in the summer can't recall what it was though

Not watching the cricket again today

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If Steve Smith was a Spartan, he'd be Steve Blyth

Should have been after as odis can be played at night with the same ball

grim la

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Smoth has a technique far too advanced for fans of what is considered 'classic' batting.
He's next generation and his batting is all about shifting bodyweight, the nervous tics are similar to a boxer waiting for an opening and his striking is unorthodox and unexpected however highly effective.
You have to have a very advanced cric brain to appreciate this once in a generation batsmen we have been blessed with.

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Swannie was alright

What are YOU watching in the lunchbreak? For me, it's Sir Frank

youtube.com/watch?v=joScOh-eO6I

God England is fucking grim
Definitely going somewhere nice looking soon.

Zoomer casuals detected. Good call on Mahela, also Aravinda de Silva too. Why can't whitey produce aesthetic bats like >us brownies?

>Grimland

loses points for blowing out everyones eardrums on the stump mic when he takes a wicket

very interesting that play continued in the rain while England were taking wickets, but just when Smith was getting a bit of momentum, that's when they decided it was time to call it

You're calling Sue from Teddington a brainlet?

dude I've been watching cricket for more than 20 years

I like rain but rain all the time just seems depressing.

weather should help Aus sneak a draw

ever heard of ian ronald bell you waste of space

>le u r le zoom zoom
lara was ugly as fuck m8

think that's called guilt mate

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>ian bell
kek

very very curious
same but I like genuine pissing down rain and not this grim England drizzle

>Ian Ronald Bell MBE
>MBE
kek

KEK

K E K

shall be now calling zoomers mazdas lads

wew lad

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fuck off moeen, thought you were taking a break from cricket

if you don't think IR Bell was an aesthetic player then I don't know what to say to you

who is this statpadding coward

What's the record for most consecutive 100's in each innings?

despise earl grey tea, I really do
think less of someone for drinking it even

from teams or players?

based opinion

>Richard: Why have England not called on Leach for a bowl today? 1. There are footholes and Lyon got three wickets in the first innings. 2. He's our new bowler and needs the confidence of his captain.
YEAH WHY DIDNT WE BRING THE LEFT ARM ORTHODOX ON IN PERFECT SEAM BOWLING CONDITIONS???!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?

Still can't believe he happily accepted the cup. If he could go back in time to correct a single mistake in his life, i reckon that would be it.

hes not wrong though. Get him on for 3 overs to settle the nerves then go back to pace with stokes and archer

Players.

If Steve Smith didn't exist he'd be Steve Myth.

Can't believe you replied seriously m8

He should've done something kino like lift the trophy with Kane

no he is wrong.

>bavuma made vice captain of south Africa

Business Idea: Count double centuries as 2 and triple centuries as 3 in hundreds lists

Teams.

If Steve Smith was the best bowler in world T20 cricket he'd be Pat Brown

KEK

business idea: every run counts double to bring back the T20 audience

No, you are wrong. He should be bowling up the hill to let broad and archer come back down it. Hes only played 5 tests, get him into the game or smith will just take him apart when hes settled after lunch

No

Beautiful architecture. Whereabouts?

Business idea: everyone that attends a T20 game is secretly chemically castrated to improve the standards of the human race.

based fucking cook

>WE LIKE BIG NUMBERS REGARDLESS OF CONTEXT
yeah, they'll be packing into the grounds

>le slope XDDDDDDDD

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tad harsh

Business idea: every time there's a boundary or a wicket klaxons go off and some stupid music plays.

why didn't he just play it to the leg side?
instagram.com/p/B1MLCyhHUTb/

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hmm yeah actually thinking about it mate that probably wouldnt work you have truly picked holes in my watertight plan.

you don't know? the whole 2005 ashes winning team was MBE'ed while Vaughan and Fletcher was OBE'ed

got a sweet surprise for you lads

grim

if its a picture of your genitals i dont want it.

Hey, did you get that thing I sent ya?

noticed /cric/ has been a bit mean lately

fuck off CUNT
;)

*decks you the fuck out*

Thats just the /nrl/ chads whos peems seasons are over m80

Lads. Any examples of good sledging from this test?

Tubs looks like a homeless man put into a clean suit wtf ahahahahahahahhaa

also podium dancers

someone called steve smith "steve sandpaper" lol

Sue from Teddington

If /cric/ was a film it would be a few good men

Lads i got some heartbreaking news to tell you
I don't like cricket

oh no, I love it

OH NO

oh no

Any word yet if play shant commence again today?

ooo vry sad

oh no

go with the classics
youtube.com/watch?v=-SwkMlEsCNA

looks a bit grim but its nice lads

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yeah they'll be heading out in a couple of mins m8

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oh nonononono

I loathe it lads
Absolutely despise the premise of it in any form
Thr idea that such a sport actually exists tarnishes other sports just by existing

Anyone up for a net session?

only if you go halves lad

How do you feel about Jamaica?

wot u doin in /cric/ then?

half hour at least before covers come off

*were

just got off work lads what's the outlook

Yes if I don't have to bowl, done my back bowling

Outlook is Microsoft's email platform m8

its a typical august day in england, and it will rain all day
pack it up and come back tomorrow boys

I fucking mog toilberg old American kike how do you like my fucking balls in your face you fucking hooknosed little jew coward your bags of money will steal my time NO MORE DO YOU HEAR ME TOILBERG do you hear me toilberg quit your whimpering you pathetic dog you worthless garbage human I'm going to kill you toilberg I'm going to cut your fucking tongue out toilberg hahahahah fuuuuckkkk youuuuu toilberggg

Hate cricket
Love /cric/
Simple as.

Of course.

*leaves the ball in a comical manner*
attention-seeking prick tbqh

what's for snacks lads? for me It's pic related

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why do they all have cleft palate

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kek their logo

A U T I S M
U
T
I
S
M

thanks

love this man

pretty based desu

hypnotic

Sue from Teddington is fucking fuming right now.

Any other Crickers who had autism?

makes the old dart seethe

going to play some division 2 lads
goodnight

In twenty years this is what will be taught by cricket coaches

It really is like watching the stirring of lumpy porridge

Is teddington a nice place lad and where is it close to?

>bowlers trying to intimidate batsmen
>smith pulling dance moves
brainy

tripadvisor.com.au/Attractions-g528818-Activities-Teddington_Richmond_upon_Thames_Greater_London_England.html

grim

kek

South-west Greater London, so "affluent" and full of wankers. Imagine an entire suburb filled with the sort of middle class twats who go to England rugby games (Teddington is really close to Twickenham) and you pretty much have it.

No wonder sue thinks she knows what she is on about, or at least her hubby

>when you only average 60+ and people think you will always score a century
Based Smoth getting the heads of the pommy gits

ahh I see you know your swordplay well

wisden.com/stories/archive/news/umpire-dies-hit-cricket-ball
>umpire John Williams, who was in a coma after getting hit by a cricket ball during in a Pembrokeshire County Division Two match five weeks ago, has died from the injury.

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Steve Smith averages 63, the same as PJ Hughes' final score.

kino Adelaide test replay on.
unironically better than this b grade ashes

Egg, garlic mayo, avocado, and fresh lettuce sandwiches on seeded white bread. Carrot and cucumber sticks with red pepper hummus. One banana and one satusma. To finish off, chopped peaches and blueberries with muesli and natural yoghurt.

Feeling VERY middle class in my food choices desu

bloody clarkey

Should give umps helmets like they do in t20 games tbqh

Imagine not wearing your yugioh card dispenser.

Johnson GOAT 7 wickets incoming

Did you make the garlic mayo yourself?
If not, start doing so, mayo made fresh is the best and i legit cant eat mayo from fast food or some resturants that dont make it themselves

kino way to go desu

It's like poetry in that it simply rhymes.

Nah shop bought, but I'll take your suggestion and start making it myself

How does he do it?

reminder 9gem is about to broadcast a replay of one of the best innings of fast bowling in the history of cricket

What's the most recent year you can get nostalgia from?

For me, it's 2014.

Fuck I just a chill down my spine. That's pretty spooky

>letting lyon hit a six

holy moly the state of englel

Good old Cadbury.

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>superior english willow

I'm sorry, it's never done that before. Can we try again in 5 minutes?

If ball break bat
It should be wicket

Should never have been dropped

Mitchell Johnson, now that was a fast bowler.

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Having seen so much cricket in England this year, it's almost surreal to see a match being played under clear skies.

Who was the bloke who Johnson made cry and retire? Trott?

Sky are scraping the barrel for filler with this pakikeeper crap.

>Meanwhile, here's Simon Reynolds, stepping up to the mic: "What do you call a Spanish firefighter? Jose"
Bit racist that was
Shant be using cricinfo anymore

fuck sake i just want some cricket

Was looking forward to some shit posting between the delays, but even that's been rained out.

niggers tbqh

Well this shit is done for the day, might chuck on a movie.

Watching Romper Stomper.

Reckon this is a little more profound than you intended.

2013/14 Ashes

>England have a like 70 year old captaining their ODI side
Shame about his back problems but that comes with the age i guess

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Cricket Idea: The new way going forward to get a century is to go 100 balls in a row without scoring any runs
Would spice up the game id say

What’s for lunch fellas?

>can’t hold up your end of a plaque
>rest the corner against your prodigious gut
>fuck why did they have to put me with this dapper young fellow with his extra narrow necktie?
>my lapels look rumpled
>I hate these new dangled spread collars
>wish they’d had that finasteride shit when I was this bloke’s age
>fuck they’re about to take the picture
>that smile when

Death
Just laying in bed after sleeping for a few hours hoping to get over this flu soon

Rum and a packet of chips.

Lovely
I’m 3 amstels and some spicy peanuts

Spicy peanuts sound like they'd go down all right.

>cricinfo telling shit jokes
So is the fucking rain going to stop?

Thoughts?

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Wouldn't cop tbqh. The silhouette looks like it has downs.

wtc?

Air max 97

twitter.com/AlexHartley93/status/1162329998595907584?

he unironically can't keep getting away with it lads

>reposting a webm on twitter

yeah wasn't paying attention to the thread tbf

Rain-affected matches are pretty comfy desu, especially if there’s still a chance of a result on the fifth day.

Not when the thread is literally dead. Poor effort I reckon.

Don't blame you its chock full of Ozzy cunts.

zachy Get that WhatsApp group back up. Reckon there’d be a few in there now

This is unironically a good strategy, I've seen many batsmen get out by dangling the bat when they try to leave - much better to aggressively pull the bat away.

Haha my ends wtf

youtube.com/watch?v=Fu1NXZ8RR0M
You now remember James Franklin

Just got home from work.

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...

comfy is just a code word for boring desu