/heem/

/ourguy/

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how did he not get ko'd

He is eskimo bros with Overheem

I wish MMA didn't have dire physical consequences.

>Toilet Till
>Latrine Ladd
>Urinal Urijah aka team Omega Manlets
>Outhouse Ortega aka T-CTE Roidtega
>Gent's room Gustafsson aka Anus Gus
>Restroom Rockhold aka Flushed Puke Cockhold
>Washroom Woodley aka Tyreese Snoozley
>Men's room McGregor aka Gab Gooby
>Potty Poirier aka Pissoir Poirier aka Dustbin Poorier
>Loo Lee aka Gevin-up Pee
>Cesspool Cerrone aka Clogboy Cerrone
>Diaper Dodson
>Kakalina Kohlercowicz aka Dookie Kookie
>Bathroom Borg
>Portajon jones aka Junkheap Jones
>Scat Zingano
>GloryHoley Holm
>W.C. D.C. aka Drainpipe Daniel
>Khapiss "The Bagle" Nurmagopoopoo aka Khabozo Urinegaymedoff
>Ben Rotsmell
>Blendin Shart aka Sexuality Hybrid
>Commody Garbrandt
>Diarrhea Dos Santos aka Face Plantos
>Poobert shittaker akd Doobby Wheetkaker
>Valenpeener Shitstinko aka Foul Bullet
>Stinkpee Miocic ake Sleepe Stenchic
>Rose Namurinas aka Thud Rose
>Alistair Diarrheem aka Pottychair Odorstream aka Garbagepail Urinestream
>Shogun Pooa
>TakePee Sperguson aka El Cacuy aka Tony El-Poo-Poo-Wee Ferguson
>Soil Stack Smith aka LyingTurd
>Wandiarrhlei Silva aka Uma C-T-Eicia
>Farticio Werdum aka Febrezetheroom Offumes
>NateCan Diarrhiaz
>Henwee "The Cringelord" Cepoodo
>Cumarpoo "Nigerian Sewer" Poosman
>Max Hollogay aka Min
>AlexCANder VolCANovski
>Crap Barry
>Cuckby "Cuckos" Cuckington
>Rafael Poos Canjos aka Raphael dos Baños
>Grug Sharty
>Lames Dick
>Franpiss Manguano
>Dirtdick “Black Fece” Lewpiss
>Tai Pooivasa
>Yarear Rodrepiss
>BM Punk aka CM Puke
>“Smellin’“ Sam Alvpee
>aCANda “Lionpiss” Poonez
>Boy's room benavidez aka mr. Olivi
>hard-stool sterling
>Jorge "inbred" Massivepile

>Puke Thomas
>Jackoff Slack
>Shitt Okamoto
>CTGayllacher
>Shitriram

>Pissuania
>Peeden
>Poozil
>United Cumdom aka Poonited Pissdom
>Bumgaria
>Bumerica aka PooSA
>Germanpee
>Peece
>Pissreal
>CANada
>Binland

>(You)FC
>UFSeethe
>PooFC
>CUM Championship
>Pissin
>Smellybore
>India Pooper Plight League
>Cumbate Americunts
>Burger King Flight Coop

>MMgay

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>HIP HOP IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

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>JOSE ALDO PLEASE BE MY BULL AND STICK YOUR BALD HEAD UP MY WIFE'S PUSSY

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nice """"sport"""" you got there semen slurpers

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Fag

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i don't think any here likes jake shields bro

yep

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Whoever is heem_tappy on reddit: I looked through your post history to make fun of you and call you a fag but you seem kinda based actually. Did you get to leg locks yet?

This post is proof all trolls want is a friend.

Sup nigga, wanna play tekken?

if digits sleepe gets kod again

God damn

>Toe Fagan exposed himself as talking head with priveleges to take down stuff
Would you look at that...

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Colby would unironically be a good coach for TUF; he would make for good tv. maybe not yet though, would rather see it when he's older

Champ Shit Only

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>he would make for good tv
ain't nobody unironically gaf about cringington, but they'll probably put it on espn+ and say the ratings are amazing.

WHITE PEOPLE CHAMP, BIGGERS BTFO

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>BIGGERS

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Will DC release his pet monkey now that it keeps getting heemed?

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you biggers snowflakrs got me b. to many times
damn shit is cursed

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Yoel might be a god but there's no fucking way he's natty.

Cuba has insanely advanced medical science, as a byproduct of their isolation and soviet funding. During the cold war a lot of their shit rocketed ahead of the rest of the world. Romero is, without a doubt, on some of that shit.

c o l b y b l e s s

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Does cte effect fashion choice?

This nigga got hoop earrings

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this is a really weird shoop but i like it

how many pull ups to get traps like that ?

100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and 10km running every day for 3 years

All the pullups. Also, bent-over dumbbell+barbell rows, dumbbell shrugs and olympic level wrestling.

>watching Andy Ruiz on Joe Rogan's show
>young mexican in his 20s with 5 kids
>"i finally made it breh, good thing it worked because i don't know how to do anything else i'm glad im finally getting paid and can afford food"
Wholesome rags to riches story.
>"btw i already have 4 luxurious cars, now i bought two more, one for me, and one for my fiancee"
Ruined.

>guy who gets hit in the head for a living is an idiot with money

I'm shocked.

10

I felt the same way. His whole "Momma, we dont gotta struggle anymore" line was horseshit

*solves mma*

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Wake up, Max

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It's gonna be depressing when he gets heemed by Wilder/Fury

cyкa блятъ

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Reminder Hall is /ourboy/

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Still chuggin' Lean Body
Still killin' it.
Still with Christ.

My boy.

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Wake up, Andy.

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>Don't blow it
>Keep it simple
>Count your money

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my boy ryan finna zabeat that ass

>not hiring an asian or jew as an advisor

Is there steroid testing in NFL? Some of these guys are j-j-j-jacked son.

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based
lol

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Brapperpoop snoozeman

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Wake up, Paulo

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A jew is the de-facto answer to having a good financial adviser. He gives good advice, you get richer which makes him richer. An asian would be better as a accountant and keeping track of assets and such.

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One more run at the strap dana

Based
Based as well however

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So fucking slick

NBA and nfl I believe both have policies that tell the athlete when they’ll be tested. If they fail one of those tests, they’re subject to more frequent and possibly unannounced tests. It’s a policy that’s in place just to say they have a drug testing program, yet some athletes still fail, jbj’s brother Arthur being one of them.

>>NBA and nfl I believe both have policies that tell the athlete when they’ll be tested
Sounds beatable.

Tony Ferguson was once defeated by a man named Karen.

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>>"btw i already have 4 luxurious cars, now i bought two more, one for me, and one for my fiancee"

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Yeah it was always obvious he was rich before the Joshua fight. If you're a high enough level pro boxer to be offered a fight with Joshua, you're not broke

Piss Carmpooshe.

Yeah, the UFC is back.

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Why do I want to fuck Aspen so bad? Shes not even hot but I have the urge to take her on a long hike until she gets sweaty, eat her ass, then impregnate her.

mmajunkie.usatoday.com/2019/08/ufc-on-espn-plus-14-uruguay-valentina-shevchenko-liz-carmouche-weigh-in-results-live-video-stream
fivehead shevchenko weigh ins

>I'm the World Champ... I'M THE WORLD CHAMP!

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you're a bernese mountain dog

no video feed?

30 minutes

youtube.com/watch?v=TLvKwxeq-bI

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fedor was never good

Soi detected

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The documentary Joe Rogan doesn't want you to see

youtube.com/watch?v=DbiFFmD5vdo

No it's this
vimeo.com/352604749

Where's the champ?

Weigh Ins are LIVE

guy who makes these is a dork

When did beating Fedor lose any meaning?

it never had meaning

When Farticio exposed him as a can.

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mmafighting.com/2019/8/9/20798016/ufc-uruguay-weigh-in-video

>Youtube "documentary"
>It's just some cheeto dust king whinging about benen shalb
Finally rogan does a good thing. What a fucking loser lmoa, that nigga deadass spent a month making some bitch ass, faggot ass, hater ass, cheeto dust having ass, no life ass, incel ass, soi ass, cope ass, jealous ass, cracker ass, pussy ass, nerd ass, homo ass, white ass, dumb ass, head ass video about some podcaster.

This, but unironically. What an absolute loser.

That's not the video

youtube.com/watch?v=-ecK3tW70e4

>2021
>I am forgotten

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He won last night

Brother, I want to smesh...

these are michelle "the karate """"hottie""""" waterson's feet

thawlts?

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Schaub should go on Cum Town

she better hope joanna cant make weight

Burgohof Schlump?

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its probably once a year

My name is Daniel but I’ve gone by Danny my whole life (except for a brief Kenny period). Should I tell people at my next job to call me Daniel? I always thought it was too formal but the way people talk about DC makes me rethink it.

That fucking sheep avatar is a certifiably bitch made, he has 6 videos hating on the greatest radio personality of all time, Anthony Cumia. Just a bum looking to soar off hate.

>hating on the greatest radio personality of all time, Anthony Cumia.
the only person who would take the time to do this other than opie is someone who hates anthony's political views

toelet

Finna boutta to drop a hunnid on ValShev. Is Carmouch even mildly a threat? I don't think i even saw her fights, only looked at her jobber record

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>Pillowtap fans

>jobber record
>already beat fiveheadetina

I don't even know what Cumia's political views are but I watched a couple of his shows out of interest and was bored to death. What's so entertaining about a whiny boomer with nothing insightful or funny to say?

>jobber record
>already flushed jessica andrade
she's a war hero ffs

funniest person i've ever heard on radio when he was on opie and anthony

She "beat" with a DQ in fucking 2010.
Also, Andrade is a glorified can.

yes, she can wrestle, she had rousey's back

"Beat" *Val

Do yourself a favor and look up "Anthony Cumia and Patrice Oneal" and then beat yourself for ever implying Ant is not a fucking institution

how much money are you putting on failandpeeon?

lol

If you're not a fucking cazzie you know that the only reason Carmouche "beat" Val is because Val hurt herself while beating her up.
Also fuck you fags for being dumb and making me genuinely post about wmma.

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Give me the cliffs. I have tries listening to his stuff and it sounds like Oprah for men more than Rogan does.

100 petrodollars

Sounds VERY beatable

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Jack Slack hates Valentina because she wouldn't let him huff her braps. It's sexual jealousy.

>oprah for men
this is the butthurt brit

Rogan said he thinks a JBJ match at HW happens after DC/Stipe, against whomever wins that contest.

I'm not so sure.

youtube.com/watch?v=wKQ4cOig0xE
youtube.com/watch?v=xWb_iqDfkqA
youtube.com/watch?v=VMh8hEnB5UY

bloopin scooter

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the free money was PFL last night im not betting on shitstinko at those odds

One more run at the brap brother

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How many webms are in your heems folder?

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Fedor with his usual hands down gunslinger pose, literally asking for this exact lunge to be made against him. Surprised it took this long.

lel he'd be an idiot to move up if they're not paying him a lot more

>Chris Gutierrez (156 lbs)

what the fuck
did they write it wrong or was he 20 over lmao

wrote it wrong

He's ducking Rockhold.

I thought so, thanks.
Missed the weigh ins AGAIN, because I sit here bored, scratching my balls all day, but as soon as I get something I want to look at the work starts piling in.

imagine if they headbutted

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Tell me about Brendan, why does he wear the mask?

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brapchamp

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So his skin is softer and smoother for when he preps the bull.

Just wait for HW Cockhold. We will see who's laughing at the end.

When Rockhold goes to HW to avenge DC and Cain, JBJ will drop down back to LHW, mark my words. He's dodging hard.

2020 will be the year genocided featherweight Rockhold makes his debut

TheWeasle is relatively hot on this card, considering how lame we think it is. Apparently a few of the prospects are legit.

THey could always try and get Brock back. Dana denied that Ngannou would get the title shot after DC/Stipe, which made some people think that Dana is still angling for a Bork return, given that Magumba had done enough to warrant a title shot in many people's eyes.

This is Claudia and her sisters. Man. What I'd do to them. Fucking capture them. Chain them up. Make them lick each other and shit. Just fucking lie in bed surrounded by them, wearing little electric death collars that zap them if they don't do exactly what I say.

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>i showed u my dick answer me

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More like The literal Whosle

Debatably, the greatest welterweight of all time...

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TheWeasle is trash

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no doubt bee

Luque vs Perry is legit, Volkan vs Latifi is legit, and Ciryl Gane vs Raphael Pessoa is a fight between two future HW contenders.

Neat.
Didn't know there were HWs on the card.

>JBJ in a division where most guys are the same height/taller than him.

Doubt. Ngannou, Hardy and Stipe would shadowrealm him

Have you guys seen the banned Boarding Schelp documentary? I watched a half of it yesterday and it was already deleted today.

youtu.be/pHscLVfsHlA

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Smiff and Gustaffson were similar height to JBJ, he beat them both handily.

Gustafson was dominating that first fight until that elbow landed

>he was winning until he lost
C'mon m8.

Which reminds me, did Gus stop getting a tattoo after every fight when he started losing?

He might still win, but tall guys consistently give him a lot more trouble.

For shure, that win over Maia is a classic.

People with a killer instinct who go for it, and dive in, give him trouble.
Like Machida did (until he didn't), like Gus did when he got his distance (until he didn't), like HUEHUE Thor-hammer-man did (until he heemed his leg).
If there was a 6 foot 200 lbs Jeremy Stephens, he'd give him a fight. But sadly Rumble retired.

The last fight proves that Bones fears power.

>le walk myself to the cage black man
>sharing a division with le wrestlefuck you against the cage black man
Unfortunate...

How do you rate Fronkie Edgar at 135?

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>tfw will never see prime Karelin compete in MMA

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>has a loss on his record
what a bum lmao

u know i hated brendan before this but now i just really dont like him

tjdillawshaw125

We got enough leg-humpers and crotch-sniffers, man.

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nah b i'm not a hader

Ì got the same hairline as Conor and I am only 23. Is it over for my MMA career?

Reminder that Askren was medically braindead for at least 20 minutes

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Karelin was a genetic monster. Give him some intense training with Boxing and Muay Thai and he'd be sending people to the shadowrealm

gadooshed and flushed before it even began

Favorite Brazilian fighter?

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Looks like he stopped after his second fight with Jon

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Would he be allowed in the UFC with that tattoo?

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Get a fucking adblocker.

Last tattoo is black, so a win.
He didn't tattoo his last 2 fights, 2 losses. Pretty sad tbqh.

what do you think about tarantinos depiction of bruce lee? it really pissed me off how he dragged one of the biggest martial art legends and revolutionaries through the mud

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Täglich reminder that bruce lee never fought in a single official martial arts bout

Aspen ladd would fuck him up

Which tattoo?

porier ducked nate

Hw-American
Lhw-American
Mw-who cares
Ww-American
Lw-American
Featherweight-American

Don't follow any weights lower than that but the point is all champions are American and yet there are so many smelly euro peons in heem

Who gives a fuck about that chink, he was a can

Bruce Lee was the ultimate jobber and the jannetty 10 times out of 10

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>Lw
>american
after september 7th, sieg heil

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Officially Dustin is the champion until Khabib returns. That's how interim belts work.

Tony is the champ you stinky fucking euro peon jobbers

If he enters the UFC will he die?

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Opie and Anthony just doesn't work for European audiences. The humour is lowest common denominator American trash.

blow it out your ass

“You are not rich until you have something money can’t buy"
-aspen ladd

“Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.”
-aspen ladd

>American trash.
you're not wrong i'm hot garbage in the florida humidity
who's your favorite female ufc fighter?

>Tony is the champ

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it's OK bro he doesn't have to like what we like

"Brazil, you're a dump! All you filthy animals suck!"
-aspen ladd

itt: BLACKED fighters

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retards are meant to be bullied

Tony is the champion of the story. Simple as. End of.

“Learning is a gift, even when pain is your teacher.”
-aspen ladd on her loss
“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.”
-aspen ladd on weight cutting in mma

Kill yourself, freak

28 days until khabib stakes a fat Saudi seikh style shit down his throat by dubtsin poopier

Poony is the champ of pulling out of title fights. 2 pullouts in a row, lmao.

“Martial arts is like a mountain. You see the top. And you hike and you climb, and you finally reach the peak, and you realize it was a false summit, and in front of you lies an entire new mountain range.”

-aspen ladd on hiking deep into the woods to fuck her dogs

Kelso is a bum, Pappo demolishes him with an accidental flying wrist

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>punks your whole team

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I gotta ask what was colby’s Intention with the choke holds in the 1st. Looked like he was sperging out, but there had to be a reason. Didn’t really look like he was tiring to sink in a submission though.

Wtf I love GDR now

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There's literally zero reason to submit Robbie Lawler. No one gives you respect for doing it.

Stipe wins the fight and the story next week.

DC wins and also flushes ngannpoo

I'd rather lose to lawyer by ko than win by submitting him

At least if I get kod I won't feel like a BITCH

Canby is a joojitsulet, he genuinely tried his best, but he can't do shit even to a washed up Hobbie who got choked out by Bum Askren via a noogie.

Khabib subs Canby in the second.

streamable.com/vgmnw

>khabib beating a larger man

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1. Khabib
2. Rampage Jackson
3. Connor McGregor
4. Ronda Rousey
5. Frank Shanrock

post more of her ... figting

>All casual favourites except Frank, who's name is spelt incorrectly.

He just wears people down with that shit, his gameplan is always to out-point people.

>who's
English butch can't even type in English and you want to talk fighting? Buddy fighting is all america got. You fucking step up to me again and I'll fuck your jobber ass up

>Rampage
>Shamrock
based
>Khabum
>Goobert
>Head Movement
yikes

I can't stand that clown, I used to think he was ok, but the more I've listened to him I think he's just an arrogant choad, Jorge should have punched one more time.
Fuck, Marry, Kill
Those are literally some of the nastiest feet I've ever seen. I hate feet generally but those are shit tier and caused light nausea.
This is pretty impressive, didn't think Eddie had it in him. Does Eddie Alvarez win the story?

The eagle at the bottom of his neck

guyborg is done
youtu.be/x9o4P-jN6y0?t=310

It's only ever americans that do ironic-not-ironic flexes like this on /heem/. You'll fuck up a gallon of ice cream instead, you casual.

Cyborg got fucked over, first by Dana and then by her team. She'll get paid more in Bellator and will get to go back to her gigaroids, so she'll be ok.

*solves MMA*

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What's the matter pussy, scared of lactose? It's only soft euro peons on heem (zero champions btw) that constantly wanna step up and poke the bear then cry when the bear bites back

You aren't the bear, you glory-supporting khabib dick-rider.

>all these comments
I love it

Germany still uses that eagle, its not a racial slur.

Not the same user, but there are some hella annoying bongs on /heem/ on the daily.

After about 10 minutes, he entered Redface Mode.

would kiss and suck them passionately

What does it say under the eagle? I wouldn't fuck with him in any case, he'd probably heem me

All bongs are boring, but none of them claim to be a backyard MMA champ with 100+ confirmed kills. The only non-american that does that is that one abhorrent fucking german that sometimes shows up.

What the fuck are punching balls for?

You never throw a punch the way you do when using a punching ball.

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instagram.com/p/BsJCLjUnnIb/

I don't find y'all boring, I actually think you guys have some quality bantz.

In any case, I would absolutely heem you though, no question

you feel intimidated do you? I can't imagine how scary it must be to be a U.K. Pusy on the internet

>If I'm lying, she can call tomorrow and we'll make that fight. She will not call tomorrow and that fight will not be made because she does not want to fight Amanda Nunes

"Be a champion in your own world" -Aspen Ladd

Seriously though, if she wanted Nunes she probably could've gotten an immediate rematch. Why would the UFC want cyborg UBER gatekeeping and beating up soccer moms

I have made but one mistake (WMMA)
-Dana White on his deathbed

This is the truth, deal with it:

Current fighters:
>GOAT Tier: DC, Khabib
>"Our Guy" Tier: TFerg, Chaos Covington, Ryan Hall
>Great Tier: Conor, Cejudo, Whitaker, Zabit
>Meh Tier: Mini Peepee Holloway, Fakenewsman, Adesanya
>Shit Tier: Ben Asskren, Francis Ngannou, Fronkie
>Scum of the Earth Tier: Bon Jones Bones

This is not up for discussion, rather undeniable truth

A good battle plan you act on today beats a perfect one tomorrow
-aspen ladd

However beautiful the strategy you must occasionally look at the results
-aspen ladd

Agree with your list, except for one thing: BUm Askren may be a meme, but he's legitimately one of the best wrestlers in MMA. He deserves to be in the Great tier.

"You must not fight one opponent too often, for you shall teach them your art of war"
-Cris "cyborg" Santos on the rematch

Cyborg was probably angling for a real contract renewal, Dana will have been trying to fuck her with an underpaid one fight contract to rematch Nunes. Dana is technically telling the truth when he says she didn't want that fight, he just skips the part where the fight would also end her career in the UFC.

Shit tier is all fucked up, but I like the rest of your list.

Cyborg ended Cyborg's career with the UFC

I appreciate you agreeing with the list. Asskren came to the UFC with incredible fanfare, despicable arrogance, with fighters and fans talking about him as the GOAT.
So far he kept the arrogance, has a controversial win, and suffered the all-time fastest knockout in the UFC.
Look at the other cats in 'Great': Conor (first ever double champ, did more to promote the sport than any other fighter), Cejudo (3Champ), Whitaker (heart for days, champ, and absolute wars with Yoel), and Zabit (this one I guess is debatable, I just feel he is a champ to be).
No way does Asskren deserve to be in that Tier. MAYBE 'Meh' Tier, and even that's a stretch.

Ngannou and Asskren are shit, I might have been harsh on Fronkie but I included him because I just like typing 'Fronkie'

Ben Askren won the story of the lead-up to the fight.
He also won the story of the post-fight.
He also flushes Canvidal in the rematch.
Askren only lost the fight, so this makes him 3-1 vs Canvidal.

Dana wanted Dillashaw to kill men's Flyweight and Nunes to kill women's Featherweight. Dillashaw fucked up but Nunes succeeded, now Women's Featherweight aren't even listed on the website.

Not bad, Tyler, not bad at all

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gayest list ever posted

>not walking out to third-wave emo rap

Ngannou and Askren are fucking brilliant outside the octagon. Ngannou has the best story in the UFC and Askren markets the sport a ton. They are both great ambassadors for MMA, and we're lucky to have them.

>Ben Askren won the story of the lead-up to the fight.
True, but mostly he's just annoying.
>He also won the story of the post-fight.
Dude died and went to heaven for 20 minutes and was escorted out of the cage speaking in tongues
>He also flushes Canvidal in the rematch.
He loses (again) by flying knee (again) in the first 5 seconds of the fight (again)
>Askren only lost the fight, so this makes him 3-1 vs Canvidal.
Nope, it's 3-1 George

To fight you need a contract.
Cyborg wanted the same contract, which was offered to her when she was going to be Ronda 2.0.
Dana doesn't want the same contract, he wants to pay her half or something.

The fight will not be made, because Cyborg thinks she is one of the stars of the UFC, and Dana thinks she's on par with the other female fighters. Its about money.

that feelio when i could heem every here

Awww the bones babby hates the list, sorry your boy aint shit

Light Heavyweight is so shit, lads, I can't believe how shit it is.

And Cyborg could have had another shot at the belt but she wanted to get two tune ups against literal who soccer moms. Cyborg demanded the company cater to her while slandering Dana like the undeveloped zika patient she is and it blew up in her male face. Dana is a saint and THE ONLY REASON YOU HAVE A SUBJECT TO SHITPOST ABOUT and the only people that disagree are nit picky little faggots developing fan fiction to defend their favored tranny, sit and spin

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When Women's Flyweight was listed, it had like 5 people on it. Not enough for a Top 10. It looked silly.
It was simply never a division, and was only created to have Cyborg sign with the UFC, because they wanted nu-Ronda. Then Dana paid extra for lower division fighters to go up, fight Cyborg, and go back down. Basically doing damage control.

>Not walking out to post-avant jazzcore

it's just a really gay list man dont get all upset

Nah, Askren definitely won the story of the post-fight by showing everyone a classy way to deal with loss. His interview with the Jew has retardedly high view numbers.
Askren also flushes Canvidal in the rematch, he's not going to fall for the same trick again. Literally all you have to do to defend against a flying knee is to move laterally, don't need any fancy striking defense.

It's 3-1 for Ben.

>Cyborg demanded the company cater to her
Cyborg was brought over with the assumption that they will ease her into cutting weight and joining Bantamweight. This isn't a secret or anything, they said as much. Thats why they started her on catchweight fights.
But then that video of her crying and spasming while cutting weight in a hot but, and praying to God, surfaced, and Dana couldn't ask her to cut anymore, and WFlyweight was born.

Dana is a sociopath control freak. The UFC would have blossomed with a more meritocratic system and less top down interference.

Most people never run far enough on their first wind to realize they've got a second
-aspen ladd

Walker will save the division by dabbing on Jones

cardio

IF YOU HAVE A BETTER METHOD THEN GO MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING ORG YOU FUCKING GOOF

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You want to bet a bratwurst on that rematch, Hans? WW is like this and it's basically undeniable:

>Chaos
...
...
>Fakenewsman
>Woodley
...
...
...
>Masvidal
>Edwards
>Askren

>Like Machida did (until he didn't)
Must have had something to do with getting his eyes clawed out.

Really?
Running or sparring must be better.
I guess it's just for timing.

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I ain't seething dog, but post your list and let's work it out like adults

Thats just part of JBJ's kung fu. People should be used to it by now. Look at how DC adapted it to his game after suffering it twice.

Gustafsson unironically fucked the division by retiring. Walker isn't tested by a strong enough chin and Alex was the only other fighter worth getting excited about.

I'll bet you the ownership of my ass on that rematch. Askren flushes Ratvidal, then flushes everyone in the division not named Kamarudeen, who is simply too big, strong and athletic for dadbod Askren regardless of how technical Askren is.

I dont make lists, I'm not gay lol

Post walk out music please

youtu.be/PyoJsKrb5N0

I don’t know I have never trained in my life

youtube.com/watch?v=IeqtAB1WgEw

>Askren flushes Ratvidal, then flushes everyone in the division not named Kamarudeen
>Forgot about Colby GOAT

Your anus is mine Moritz

asscream dont deserve a rematch tho

caz

You will see. Askren will outwrestle Canby with ease, their levels of top control are not even in the same dimension. Canby, who was taken down by RDA, doesn't have the size, strength or skill to deny Askren the TD. Canby also doesn't have the power to put Askren away, who has come through much more devastating firepower than the one Canby brings to secure the win:
streamable.com/umg5b

He will, after he sits on Maia for 5 rounds.

Pam Sorenson vs. Kaitlin Young
Janaisa Morandin vs. Emily Ducote
Jessica Delboni vs. Lindsey VanZandt
Stephanie Geltmacher vs. Victoria Leonardo
Alyse Anderson vs. Katie Saull

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Masvidal is the one who should be calling for a rematch, at least once they turn down his title shot request. It's a money fight for him now.

Official /boys/ tier list
Exquisite boys: Tony, DC, Khabib, Ryan Hall
Prime boys: Walker, Whittaker, Lawler, Korean Zombie, Zabit, Gathje, Raging Al
Acceptable boys: Rakic, Hermansson, RDA, Maia, Yan, Cejudo
Shit boys: Lewis, Adesanya, Till, Edwards, Gillespie, Cerrone, Lee, Ortega, Edgar, any of the other manletweights, any wmma meme

For the small price of intercourse with your mom I will allow you to disagree with me

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youtu.be/kqaGZYDGcUw

maia is unironically going to heem askren

Nunes and Romero should both be high tier.

Maia sends Asscream all the way down the drainpipes

Askren is going to take Maia down with ease, this is not negotiable. Now, ask yourself these questions:
1. How old is Maia?
2. When was the last time Maia did nto gas in a fight?
3. When was the last time Maia subbed someone from the bottom?
4. Who was the best top control guy Maia has outgrappled?

Also, go watch the Maia-Shields fight and you will be enlightened.

Demian Maia is going to finally land that flying knee he threw at Nate the great and it will be good.

One wrong shall be righted.

Visual aid, since >>>>literally WHO

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Not going to lie, you might be right, and I'm worried about my anus now. Colby does make wrestling such an integral part of his game, and I don't think he can fuck Asskren up in that realm. Shit I may have just given away my asshole.

Maia is flushed, Asskren took this fight because he needed a sure win to bounce back, even though he'll try to promote it like it's competitive.

Literally no one knows. The brain is weird. But I would guess that the skull breaking like that absorbed the force of the knee, whereas Ben's brain rattled around inside his thick dome until his lights went out

Cycle helmets are designed to break so your head doesnt, I imagine this is what happened with Male cyborgs skull

when's the last time asskren didnt do something retarded in a ufc fight lmao

Maia might be flushed but ASScram is a can that fought in china against trannies and is 0-2 in North America

Maia already won the story, the fight should be a cake walk. A can crush.

Nah, don't worry, I don't need your ass. You can have mine if I lose. Askren-Colby will be a hugfest between two wrestlers and Askren is the better wrestler by far. Askren also has much better joojitsu, so a sub is not out of the question.

When he choked Hobbie out with a noogie, lmao.

>Exquisite: I'm ok with this
>Prime: Walker no, Whitaker No, Lawler gets too much love, hell no to Zombie and Gaycheese, but I like Zabit and Al
>Acceptable: like Cejudo, the others are cans and literal whos
>Shit: Lewis yep, Adesanya yep, Till is ok, Edwards is actually solid even though he's a dick, Cerrone is game, TCity is dope, agree with Edgar and WMMA, Gillespie is a literal who

this, excellent post

Valentina Shevchenko vs. Liz Carmouche
Vicente Luque vs. Mike Perry
Luiz Garagorri vs. Humberto Bandenay
Volkan Oezdemir vs. Ilir Latifi
Rodolfo Vieira vs. Oskar Piechota
Enrique Barzola vs. Bobby Moffett

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>Asskren took this fight because he needed a sure win to bounce back
That's why it's gonna be even more hilarious when he gets heemed by Maia

>Kaitlin Young
>Janaisa Morandin
>Lindsey VanZandt
>Victoria Leonardo
>Alyse Anderson

Attached: anderson.jpg (640x1000, 70K)

I will take your ass anyway if Colby can keep a pace that Asskren can't handle

Maia is going to get taken down and dominated dude. He'll have a few submission attempts but Asskren by GNP or RNK. Don't seethe, it's just what's going to happen.

>Valentina Shevchenko
>Vicente Luque
>Luiz Garagorri
>Volkan Oezdemir
>Rodolfo Vieira
>Enrique Barzola

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Cerrone is game (to get btfo and CTE'd by pressure fighters)

Maybe so but that's Asskren's game plan. He wanted a win 'in the bag' and he knows he can't take out Colby, TWood, or Snooze. Jorge already beat him, and he's scared to fight Edwards at this point.

He might retire if Maia gets a triangle on him, lulz would be had

Askren has absolutely terrible defense, he will get swept everytime. Jake Shields would beat Askren

I appreciate he fights on short notice and doesn't duck, he also has the most wins in the UFC, you can't put him in the Shit tier with the most wins all time, that's ridiculous

Has been knocked out within seconds in both of his ufc fights, and now taking a safe fight against Maia. Needs a pretty impressive redemption arc if he wants to be considered anywhere near great.

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If Maia subs Askren, Ben is officially a can. If Ben loses by Decision, he is officially a turbo can. If Ben wins, he is probably about as good as we all thought which is a great but not amazing fighter

Life is hard but so is my dick
-Cris Cyborg

K1 Maia knocks out Bum Askren.

Valentina
Luque
Bandenay
Volkan
Vieira
Moffett

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>no nasrat
Ill be intercoursing YOUR mother as a casuals penalty

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>As we all thought

You realize he came to the UFC heralded by many (including Roe Jogan and Showtime Pettis) as the GOAT right

Ryan 'Uriah' Hall

dude is a can he aint shit.

Shevchenko
Luque
Bandenay
Latifi
Piechota
Moffett

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Ben Askrens fights speak for themselves. Hes a fucking can that fought trannies fresh out of the operating room in Thailand and padded his record

No wonder "little" joe rogaine loves him so much

Pretty sure Ronda Rousey moderates heem as of 2016 and I'm pretty sure she does a great job sweaty

I got banned for “replying to garbage off topic posts” lmao fucking pathetic

wake up killer goriller

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>believes anything Michael Moore tells him
Everything in Cuba is a pile of shit

They test once a year, tell them when they’re coming and don’t watch their dicks

Jews are thieves, handle your own money cuck

This is his followup to a post of two pics with him smoking Mayweather and Brimage.
Based and all, but how on earth is he getting away with this? Not even a hint of assmadery in the media. And it’s ten times worse than his “dance for me boy” or the misunderstanding about his Rocky comment.

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its getting sad and pathetic at this point

Conor will be broke within 5 years guaranteed

coordination timing handspeed

Haven't seen this fight until now. Holy shit that was a perfect kick. Bang fucking on.

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Shev
Luque
Bandenay
Volkan
Vieira
Moffet

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>colby fights poosman and wins
>nate beats pettis
>colby vs nate for the ww belt

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based and 50/50pilled

It does feel kinda weird that someone would waste their time to make this. But he's kinda right on most of them. Schaub really is a big fucking douchebag.

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Cyborg didn't get knocked out though. It was just a TKO. This happened in a Muay Thai or kick boxing fight too from a short elbow and the guy had a dent on his forehead and kept fighting like nothing happened until the ref stepped in to look at it.

the fuck is this shit

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Serious question: how is Ronda doing in the WWE? I'm over 25 so I don't watch that shit anymore, but just curious if fans are digging her or not.

why didnt you put my picks up? is it cuz i posted a pic with bubbies? scared of some bubbies lil bitch? pussy id heem you into next week

Diaz bless

Based truth, unlike anything you've ever posted

they're up there just the face lol

It's hard to knock someone out with a strike to the forehead. It's also the thickest part of the human skull

The NFL is crazy loose with it's testing and enforcement of PEDs. If you get caught, you are both a moron and taking way more than everyone else and deserve what you get. BTW Myles Garrett has been a Greek statue since day one, like most of the super athletes running around playing handegg.

>Hardy

Wait until he fights someone who isn't a complete can. The dude's very technically deficient and I highly doubt he can hang with the upper mid-level guys like JDS, Blaydes, and Black Beast.

>Wait until he fights someone who isn't a complete can
you know he fights at heavyweight, right?

oh lmao i see it now it looks like a thumb

gotta aim for the jaw. GDR knew what she was doing.

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Conor McGregor will die of auto-erotic asphyxiation within the next 12 months

>JDS
Flushed
>Beast
Can

Hardy would mop the floor with those two, although he probably couldn't take out Blaydes

No one dies of auto-erotic asphyxiation, its a cover for deep state hits e.g. David Carradine

Wake up, Carla Oconnell.

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Sharty Poosman

>Post GOAT Fight IQs

I'll start

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ew

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Fuck if I know, LMAO.

Conor McGregor will be assassinated by the deep state within the next 12 months

much better

imagine the smell

>CAPS
fag

The return to 115.

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man this chick is shredded holy fuck you think she natty?

No way with those titties she has now she can make 115

>Fake boob butterface vs nasty toes skank

Hard pass bruv

LOL this card was originally supposed to be in San Franpoohole

>judging a woman on fucking toes
when you're 40 and balding and crying that everyone has a wife and kids whilst you just have your heems and your anime - remember you're the reason why.

THIS IS IT WATERBROS
THIS IS THE RUN AT THE STRAP

>When you're 40
tee hee already there fag

I need to see her thighs and abs to confirm var use, could be just a good pump.

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>Being 40 with no ball and chain

This is a win tho

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lol watch joanna show up flat again

is it, though?

based waterbro
The water alliance shall reign supreme in /heem/.
our day will come.

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>mfw watershit bursts one of pooana's retarded clown implants with a kick

>get flushed by waterson

Depends on who she is and who you are

name something more delusional than asscreamfag, tale of the tape: you're cant

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Deport Usman

All due Schaub respect

This "comedy" is absolutely awful.
I mean Joe Rogan is better than this utter shite.
Amy Schumer is better than Joe Rogan AND Brendan Schaub.

It's humiliating.
How can they generate such a cordial bro atmosphere when they're doing the fight companions but still be this fucking horrendous when actually trying to be funny?
"OOH ME CHINESE. ME GOOD AT MATH"
Family Guy would be embarrassed by these jokes

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girls who are slightly cross eyed are A tier

HEEEEEEEEEEM

ME

INSIDE

holy shit there's an october florida card? i was complaining about there not being one for the rest of the year. if the card gets any good we're going coral

What's your unironic opinion of Schwab? (no trolling allowed)

bros
Is Dana going to kill the joke of women's 145 now that Cyborg has gone?
Meeeeeeeeeeeegan can't make 135.
Keeping 145 alive at this point would solely be for her.
Dana even had an Ultimate Fighter for female 145ers but just about all of those have moved down to 135 already.

Kill 145 already.
Not to be autistic but its existence triggers me. It's such a non-division.

based and waterpilled

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Shit fighter shit commentator shit comedian but still wayyyyyyyyy better at life than I am unironically desu

have you seen those disgusting paws on waterson?

I don't give a fuck because I'm not a vile footfag.
What do footfags even do of the 0.001% who actually get gfs?
Suckle on their toes? You know they have no sexual pleasure from that, right?

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he's a shit comedian (most comedians arent funny) and his pawldcasts suck, the only thing halfway good that he does is foodtruck diaries and he tries his best to ruin that

When he actually watched fights and discussed them he was my favorite MMA commentator

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>You know they have no sexual pleasure from that, right?

t. Born after 1995

baffling post
as if women not being into their toes sucked is a zoomer thing

>You know they have no sexual pleasure from that, right?
lol this nigga cares if his girl cums, what a fucking cuck!!!

trampcake 1 point 2 minutes ago
Does Stipgay have the worst back tattoo ever?

Her feet are fine anyways, yes I've seen the pic above

Hey you can't say that!

as if sucking toes (or eating pussy for that matter) was done for the woman's pleasure

Exactly!

take this redpill for free, you can tell how well a woman takes care of herself by the state of her feet

youtube.com/watch?v=lN0S84BX1Ok
AKAKINO is out

god I hope Joanna gets a boob kick and it explodes in the arena

god i hope coral goes to the event with me

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abhorrent post

I wish I had friends like DC and Khabib at my gym

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Finally back, here's my walk out to /heem/ song
m.youtube.com/watch?v=C-5nist-qeQ

man, I just wish I had friends, the only ""people""" who talk to me are you /heem/ tards, and I wish I was lying

is the card really in tampa

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>those abs

hnng, she's hotter than PVZ and all the octagon girls

Don't mind me just being the pound for pound best female fighter

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RIP Brody

>Stipe Miocic
>6'5"

how is it possible that the UFC haven't measured all their fighters to give accurate heights?

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let's not get too carried away bruv

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Henry Cejudo is 7ft 8

Life is tough and gay

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not all of them just the ones in that specific pic

Tits shouldnt count toward fight weight

For that matter, muscle is the only relevant component of body mass so it should be the only thing measured, which would also eliminate cutting

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Physical stats often change drastically when fighters move to a new promotion

Valentina is ducking Nicco Montano

I would gadoosh everyone here in a nano second

Imagine how good Ladd would be of she had big fat 11lb milkers

one more run at the strap, brother.

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How tall you think Stipe is, dummy? He's probably 6'4''-6'5''

Imagine switch kneeing him in the belly

*GADOOSH*

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*GADOOOSH*

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>tfw goofed my picks by picking no names blindly without watching the weigh ins/faceoffs

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it's just the most recent example i've come across as i'm watching Inside the Octagon now. He's usually billed as 6'4"

there's loads of more egregious examples e.g. Yoel Romero and Shane Carwin

Slob won the story of the fight

Do you actually think this is funny? Get a life. Nobody even cares about Schaub anymore.

If Roy ate lettuce and Khabib couldn't dehydrate 36 hours before a fight, they would be the same weight class

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Jordan Burroughs would domimate every weightclass below 205

As if you'd be complaining if they gave you an extra inch """""""down there""""""", imeanamirite?

Based

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Burroughs almost got beat by Gaethje a literal 155 gatekeeper

Wrestling is a meme

Wrestling is a meme

wwyd if Masvidal wins the rematch?

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your documentary was meh

He'd get USADA'd

Be unphased. Its garaunteed to happen.

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At this moment Askren started screaming ROBBIE NO NOT AGAIN PUT ME DOWN PUT ME DOWN

*solves wrestling*
*kills POOroughs MMA career before it begins*

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post my numerous prepared shitposts

Gaethje is #5 in UFC Lightweight rankings which include Conor at #3, even though he's been inactive for a long time. So for all intents and purposes he's #4 behind Khabib, Ferguson and Cerrone (and Cerrone could probably be lower). That's hardly 'gatekeeper' status.

Burroughs would be amazing in the UFC.

>was hyped for UFC 241 kino card this weekend
>suddenly remembered the atrocious event that comes before it
AGGGGHHHHH

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Current Champs
Flyweight = Wrestler
Bantam = Wrestler
Lightweight = Wrestler
Welter = Wrestler
Light Heavy = Not a Wrestler but very strong wrestling
Heavy = Wrestler
Total = 5 or 6 / 8

>Wrestling is a meme!

caz alert

Are you actually retarded enough to think 155 would be Burroughs weight class? Yet he struggled in a pure match of his specialty vs a 155 gatekeeper?

Everyone and their mother picking Cormier to win and go out on top. Please remember that Cormier has cucked himself at every stage of his life where he was about to obtain ultimate victory. He's guaranteed to lose by fate. Stipe is easy money.

Ferg would choke him unconscious

What are Khabibs wrestling credentials?

How is Jon not a wrestler?

stipe is a can

taking 10 minutes to finish darrell horcher

Jon Jones is a wrestler dumbfuck, he was NY State HS champ and juco national champ his only year competing

When do you guys think Jones hit his prime? For me, it's the Glover fight.

dominates DC on the mat regularly at AKA

absolute state

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Back to rebbit faggot

Sambo includes wrestling, you silly boy

>ben askren got embarrassed in his last 3 fights
was he a meme all along?

>tfw a seething leg humper can't cope with the fact his meme martial art has exposed as wu shu tier

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How tf is gaychee a gatekeeper? He has two losses on his record. Him being at 5 doesnt mean he is a gatekeeper when he is still climbing the ranks. If he hits a wall at Cerrone (doubtful) he is a gatekeeper. You literally do not know what the term means. Nate is a gatekeeper. Masvidal is a gatekeeper. Gus was a gatekeeper.
Bumbozo is the LW gatekeeper

walker is the only hope but he's a cardiolet. just shut down lhw

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Yeah for sure an olympian doesnt know how to get by usada

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BJJ includes wrestling therefore Royce Gracie is in many ways an Olympic gold medalist

Khabib's cousin is signing with the UFC
instagram.com/umar_nurmagomedov/

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Shevchenko
Perry
Bandenay
Oezdemir
Vieira
Moffett

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It's a shame Volkan has such shit grappling and cardio, he could definitely get inside Jones' defense and land on him.

>literally everyone discounting Jan

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just submit them again

PFL gave him the scrubbiest boomer they could find bagging groceries and Khabibs cousin still looked like dogshit

reyes and anderson are 30 and the latter has had 15 fights in the ufc what are you even moaning about

they both look on EPO

i'm sorry did you go 5 for 5 in your PFL picks? take a hike kiddo.

You're right, Gaethje lose to two gatekeepers so he's gatekeeper to the gatekeepers

is this what 1hp in fighting games looks like?

This is a completely different argument, nobody once said that Khabib is an Olympic gold medalist-tier wrestler, just that his style in MMA is wrestling based, which it is. Sambo is heavily dependent on wrestling, whereas BJJ isn't as much. Why are you people so obsessed with muh credentials?

Wow, he's even uglier than Khabob

sambo is not wrestling he and it are just as dependent on judo too

khabib has an awful lot of folks irrationally upset

Poirier will be the undisputed champion in less than a month

Always weighing twenty pounds more than your opponent and never fighting anyone good makes retards believe you're good at wrestling

Like I said Jon is a very good wrestler, he's just such a consummate martial artist that I think it's limiting to define him as 'a wrestler.'

Compare JJ to DC or Khabib, who predominantly use wrestling to win.

And again, if you had looked at the total more carefully, I put JJ in the 'wrestlers' category.

Wait I thought Oliveira was on the run for beating his wife or something

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>such a consummate martial artist that I think it's limiting to define him as 'a wrestler.'
Fucking cringe

Basedvidal

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he's still got time for 1 more run at the strap brother

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nobody likes Muslims

Desmond Green had three fights booked after killing two ladies in a dui

>RDA isn't good
>Conor isn't good
>Al isn't good

lol it's the truth clown go back to shawb posting that's all you're worth anyway

Lindsey Van Zandt
Kaitlin Young
Janaisa Morandin
Alyse Anderson
Stephanie Geltmacher

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Chael with the deli doppelganger
youtube.com/watch?v=TF9QGgqk7bw

He may be uglier objectively but khabib has a baby face

best fighter there is Gooby, who can't wrestle

>he’s not a wrestler because im a giant faggot that gargles cum
oh for sure youre a genius on the awrt b

How does she get those scars on her knees?

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>Not rating raging Al

The Al vs. Kevin Pee was beast

...

Khabib literally warms up for fights by outwrestling 5 guys in a 1 hour period

>Like I said Jon is a very good wrestler, he's just such a consummate martial artist that I think it's limiting to define him as 'a wrestler.'

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Wow how irrelevant

Or how about the fact he never loses wrestling matches training in a gym stacked with champions

absolute faggot

post her bussy

>Times: INF.

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