/heem/ - Brotherhood edition

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favorite submission?

who's the best athlete in every division by your definition

Why does nobody except Rogan care about the 12-6 elbow? It's a totally legitimate move that would basically put and end to all cage humpers like Usman and Khabib. Dustbin Pooprier wouldn't even be interim champion right now if this move were legal (which it should be).

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Eddie Alvarez is a can

I define the best athlete as the one that is most successful in their sport, therefore the champion of each division is the best athlete.

it should change to legal eventually

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boom boom

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nah north american mma rules will always be cucked. they will never allow things they perceive to make the sport more dangerous

Usman is the Goat

>gets insta flushed in his debut

seems like one that will be changed it doesn't have that perception of danger like other banned moves

Doesnt really matter as long as I'm attracted to the girl

usman is a cowardly nigger dicklet

i think you'd be surprised by the levels of retardation on the commissions

Apparently his knees are fucked. Rogan and schaub talked about it on the podcast

I always knew he was a kneelet

Who hurt you incel?

Red Hot Chili Peppers headline Abu Dhabi Showdown Week leading into UFC 242
25-plus restaurants, bars and cafes across the UAE capital participating in a city-wide ‘Knockout Burgers’ campaign.

diamonds form under pressure rocky stallone

He's just setting up an excuse for a shit performance when Colby comes and unifies the belts.

This "30% Usman" meme has been around for a while.

In just three years, Brendan Schaub estimates he has done something like 6,000 hours of comedy, still well shy of the 10,000 hours required to master something in the Gladwellian sense. The first thing that strikes you about him as a comedian is that he’s not worried about that kind of deficit. In fact, he seems to be relishing his post-fight success in a way that makes you think his last laugh might just stretch on forever.

Schaub showed up to the famed Zanies comedy club in Nashville this past weekend with a Showtime comedy special already in his rearview mirror, a series of successful podcasts going great guns on multiple platforms, and nothing but golden meadows ahead. All five of his planned stand-up shows in Tennessee were sellouts, and his picture was the same size as Dave Attell’s and Ari Shaffir’s on the outside wall. The audience — divided between fight-fan crossovers, comedy aficionados, Joe Rogan freaks, couples on a night out, and Tennessee Titans taking a break from camp — ate his shit up. During the first show on Thursday night, I saw one woman spit out her beer when he delivered his bit about O.J. Simpson addressing his haters on his new Twitter feed.

“I think you’re confused,” said Schaub, allowing the pause to fill up with anticipation. “I have haters. You have … sad … victims of the family members. The world hates you, bro. You murdered two people.” Roaring laughs. Schaub is already versed in the age-old truism that tragedy and comedy are swung on the hinge of timing.

On the late Friday set, Schaub switched things up. He did his bit about his Mexican family earlier, a bit about potty training his toddler more in the middle, and moved O.J. into the closer’s role. The late crowd responded very well to it. Schaub, all 6-foot-4 of his frame leaning on his mic stand like it was a buddy he was posing for a picture with, cuts a different figure on a comedy stage. You can sense his liberation — his freedom of thought.

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Arianny Celeste will be a human toilet for VIP members only.

CNN of UFC

On that stage he can get as off-color as he chooses. He can tell his toddler “fuck you” as a punch line just as easily as he can talk about Sylvester Stallone believing that the “Rocky” franchise was a documentary. Every laugh adds distance between the funny man of now, and the fighter of yesterday.

In fact, other than a brief mention that he used to fight guys in a cage in his underwear as proof of his own lunacy, the former UFC heavyweight — who got flattened by the likes Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and Ben Rothwell in his previous career as an entertainer — is nowhere in evidence. The Brendan Schaub who works the microphone today is thriving. He’s in control. And, here’s the kicker — contrary to what many fight fans might believe, he’s actually pretty funny.

People are laughing with him, not at him.

How in the hell did this happen?

Everyone knows about Schaub’s relationship with the career-launching monolith Joe Rogan, and so it’s easy to trace the beginnings of his comedy quest back to its roots. Schaub became a regular on Rogan’s podcast after five years in the UFC, and segued from there to having his own podcast —the “Fighter and the Kid” — with comedian Bryan Callen. The success of that podcast led Schaub to tours across America, and into other podcasts, such as “Below the Belt with Brendan Schaub” and “King and the Sting” with Theo Von. Somewhere along the way, in 2016, Schaub began doing stand-up comedy, and he found what he considers his natural calling.

>chuck mindenhall

Now he’s a regular at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles, where he gets $6,000 for a set, and he books gigs on the weekends all over the country for much larger sums of money than that — anywhere from $25,000-$40,000. He had his own comedy special air on Showtime back in May called, “You’d Be Surprised,” which is significant. Most comedians never get a comedy special, and if they do it’s after years and years of toil. It registered as one of the top comedy specials in Showtime’s history.

“I get on the stage, and it’s just like, man, I don’t know what to tell you,” he says when thinking about the whirlwind transformation from fighter to comedian. “I don’t know if it’s a natural talent thing or what. I just feel like this is what I’m supposed to be doing. But I’ve never felt that anywhere else. On the football field, it didn’t feel that way. When I was fighting in the octagon, it sure as fuck didn’t feel that way. It felt so foreign to me. But here I feel like, ‘Oh, yeah. It ain’t so bad.’”

That part about the fighting in the UFC octagon feeling “foreign” is important. Toward the end of 2014, right after Travis Browne knocked out Schaub, Rogan dressed down Schaub on the “Fighter and the Kid” podcast, telling him he wasn’t an elite-level fighter, and that there was this very visible bridge between him and the best guys in the world that he simply couldn’t cross. It was a magnificently sober moment — almost like an intervention, brutally honest, glaringly vulnerable, glaringly public — and it left Schaub in a position to contemplate his future as a fighter. Schaub was initially in denial as Rogan introduced the idea to him that he couldn’t hang. But it was a denial that rolled over his features like a set of clouds in real time.

no

In hindsight, he already knew. Even in that moment. And he picked up on something else that day, too. Namely, just how powerful telling the truth can be. It was like Rogan passed on to him a psychic baton and told him to run with it.

After that he never fought again. He began segueing into comedy, which is another way of saying he began to speak his mind — to give a better representation of himself as a human being. He clubbed down the sports cliches that kept him safe as a pro athlete, and learned to embrace the consequences of what he said rather than fear them. The previous overlords like UFC President Dana White? It became fun, even therapeutic, to strip away his authority on air. Ex-girlfriends like Ronda Rousey? He worked his combos into an #EskimoBrothers punch line. Schaub learned to call out the bullshit as he saw it, and to highlight the absurdity of the fight game from an insider’s point of view. Even when he was wrong — which many people will tell you was often — he felt liberated.

That Rogan has been at the center of all of this is both a blessing and a curse. Without Rogan, even Schaub can’t deny he wouldn’t be on an accelerated track that has him regularly performing with the likes of Von, Talia Reese, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer. Then again, it’s all that everybody sees. The former fighter fell into a privileged situation through a titan in the industry. A heavyweight milquetoast, who wasn’t exactly oozing charisma in a game like fighting that covets it, is only anybody at all because Rogan took him under wing and championed him.

“You know, I get it. So many people are like, ‘Oh, the only reason he has success is because of Joe Rogan,’” Schaub says.

So Colby is even more our boy now after he thot patrolled Tate, yeah?

>It registered as one of the top comedy specials in Showtime’s history.
>he’s actually pretty funny.
literally what am i reading

“Man, I’m telling you, Joe Rogan ain’t out there doing an hour of material. You know? It’s just, comedy doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t work that way. That’s like giving Joe Rogan credit for the success of Jon Jones, going, ‘Well, he did tell him to work that jab.’ Rogan’s not writing material for me.

“The only help I’ve ever gotten from Rogan, besides going on his podcast, is I’ll text him. He’ll check in and go, ‘How many sets do you do this week?’ I’ll go, ‘I’ve done over eight hours of comedy this week.’ He’ll go, ‘You’re doing it the right way.’”

Schaub crosses his legs as he says this. Not like the ankle-over-the-knee manly cross with the foot jittering, but a Rockette kind of crossing, dramatic and full of showbiz.

“That’s about it,” he says. “He might put me on his shows in LA, but other than that, like, the comedy grind, no one can do anything for you. On the road, there’s nothing they can do for you, man. I’m grateful of his friendship, and he’s one of the best comics in the world, and he’s given me a platform on his podcast, but listen, I do a podcast with Theo Von that’s one of the top podcasts in the world. I do a podcast with Brian Johnson, one of the top podcasts in the world. ‘Below The Belt’s’ one of the top fucking sports podcasts in the world.”

Brendan Schaub — the comedian, the road dog, the unmasked — insists he’s not a coattail artist. And judging from the long line of VIPs who paid double to grab selfies with him after the show, it’s hard to deny that — even if Rogan did give his career a major heave — he hasn’t made the most of his next chapter.

“I’ve carved out my own identity, bro,” he says.

absolutely, he pointed out the obvious and she banned him lmao

Schaub’s brother Jay is his road manager for the comedy, and he’s in charge of selling the merch. In Nashville, they have printed up 400 T-shirts borrowing from the Jack Daniels logo, using Schaub’s face in the center. “What’s with the toothbrush mustache,” I asked him, seeing that the print cuts off his mustache at the bookends, giving him a kind of hipster Adolf Hitler look. “I know, shit, that’s what I said when I saw that,” he laughs. They will sell out those shirts — and the accompanying mesh trucker hats — to the more than one thousand people who will see him perform over the course of the weekend.

This is the routine. Hit a city, make it laugh, sell some merch, head back to Los Angeles and talk about it on “Below the Belt.” At every stop he is cashing those checks. Four months ago he bought a Ferrari, just a little something to zoom through Topanga Canyon in. As for his driving preferences? The Porsche. He says in his combined gigs he makes more money than a titleholder in the UFC, which — as Muhammad Ali once said — isn’t bragging if it’s true. He is the rare example of a fighter who’d been held back by the confines of fighting.

And in the green room at Zanies, the vintage feel of comedy is everywhere. There are prints and posters all over the walls of comedians who’ve performed at the club over the years. In one print, Aziz Ansari is doing his act to a dark room with only flashlights keeping his face lit. “That’s from the night the lights went out,” Zanies owner Brian Dorfman says. He has stopped by to check in on Schaub, and they are old chums. Schaub has been to Zanies before, and says it’s among his favorite clubs to perform. Indianapolis? It can be a dead scene, depending on when you go. Cincinnati? Cool, but it’s no Nashville. Nashville loves itself a party. It likes to laugh.

this is valbong

Schaub has his two regular openers with him, Deric Poston and Ehsan Ahmad — both of whom work the door at the Comedy Store back in LA. They do a bang-up job of setting the table for Schaub, mostly through ribald tales of their own sexual adventures (or lack thereof). Poston does a whole bit about not being gay, with the concession that if being gay feels anything like a Q-tip in the ear — and here he quakes on the stage while digging at his ear — “well then, I’m gay.” Between him and Ahmad, who have a very funny podcast together called “Spoil the Beans,” it’s a veritable mushroom cloud on the world of political correctness.

“The crowd’s a little sensitive, but they’re good,” Ahmad says as he comes back after his early set on Friday. “A lot of ooohs instead of laughs,” the universal soundtrack to a taste line being crossed into uncomfortable territory. Schaub is undaunted. In fact, he orders himself a double whiskey — “when in Nashville, you know?” — and concerns himself with the Cris Cyborg news that is coming out. At first, it’s that Dana White has cut her from the roster. Then it’s that Cyborg put out an apology for the doctoring of a video she posted of a talk between her and White, which, everyone agrees, is a bad look.

“It’s the people around her,” Schaub says. “She’s actually a super-nice person, such a sweetheart. But some of the people she has around her are crazy.”


Brendan Schaub hangs out backstage before a stand-up comedy performance in Nashville. (Chuck Mindenhall / For The Athletic)
Crazy is a term that gets kicked around a lot. When discussing the Southern comedian Von, who is right on the cusp of big-time stardom, that word gets used. “He’s crazy.”

Callen? Crazy. Pauly Shore, whom Dorfman idolizes and Poston frequently opens for in Los Angeles: “He’s crazy — but man, he was a fucking rock star back in the early-1990s when ‘Totally Pauly’ was on MTV,” Dorfman says. “I idolized him.” It’s just a roomful of comedians and people who work with comedians, chiming in, passing the time between sets, between gigs, between this life and the next.

Jeremy Piven? Dick. Joey Diaz? Crazy, but a god. Bill Maher? Double dick. Carlos Mencia? Dude does four-hour sets, you tell me.

The one name that comes up time and again is of a guy who is performing with Dave Chappelle for the first time on the other side of the country: Joe Rogan. In a world where the monoculture has been blown to smithereens by a million YouTube channels and podcasts, “He is the closest thing we have to a Johnny Carson of our day,” Dorfman says. “The one guy that can launch your career if you get on his show and kill it.” Rogan is never far from the conversation with Schaub. And if Rogan were there, he would be just another one of the guys, perhaps deifying “Coco” Diaz or somebody else. Instead, Rogan’s halo shines brightest in his absence, because legends are always elsewhere.

Schaub is doing the keto diet, and if there’s one thing he knows — or at least believes he knows — it’s that whiskey doesn’t fuck with the keto diet. No sugar in whiskey, see. So he has another double, and off we go into the night. Two sets on Friday, one at 7 p.m. and one at 9 p.m. Schaub, as a headliner, will go anywhere from 45-50 minutes. It breezes by when the material is cracking. There’s always the potential it won’t be cracking, though, and in his short time doing comedy he has “seen some shit.”

Colby "Chaos" Covington

A week ago, a man had a heart attack while he was performing at the Comedy Store. That made for an uncomfortable show. “I knew I was killing it, but didn’t know I was killing it quite that much,” he jokes. At a gig in Tampa, a female comedian who’d been doing comedy a long time was roundly booed during her opening set for Schaub, and told the ingrates in the crowd, “Fuck you. I’ve been doing this for nine years, and Schaub just started a couple of years ago.”

Beer bottles flew.

The resentment that some veteran comedians feel for a guy who shoots onto the scene and succeeds — and not just succeeds, but steals away with adulation, sacks of money, Showtime specials — is real. Schaub isn’t on the level of the Rogans of the world or the Sebastian Maniscalcos or the Bill Burrs. “I’m just a pup,” he says. But for only being three years into his career? He is ahead of just about any comedian working.

“I was naive when I first took the stage, but it was the right kind of naive,” he says. “I knew deep down, like this was going to be something. I knew, like, ‘All right, this might be rocky, but it’s rocky for everyone.’ And then Louis C.K.’s like, ‘Yo, you got to bomb a thousand times or 10,000 times to become a comic.’ That’s not been my path, man.”

Schaub says he got his 10,000 hours through different shards of the spotlight — football at Overland High School in Aurora, then collegiate ball at the University of Colorado, his brief tenure in the NFL, fighting in the UFC, doing a billion podcasts, all of that. He was ready for stand-up by the time he got to the stage, and he had failed plenty en route. He knows what it’s like to bomb. Failing is part of the swag you get in the UFC.

“A lot of comics are like, ‘Oh, I’m sleeping on couches, doing the road at open mics.’ And I’m like, ‘I get that.’ My first ever airtime, ever, was for ‘Fighter and The Kid Live,’ and I did 15 minutes of standup in front of a crowd of 600, so it’s just a different kind of pressure,” he says. “I’ve had the same theme through football, through fighting, for God’s sakes, and now through comedy where I get thrown into the deep end. It’s like sink or swim.”

A pull of the whiskey. And it’s almost time to rock.

“This is the only time I’m swimming, to be honest,” he says. “In everything else, I’ve sank.”

Then Ahmad comes back from making his introduction. The door swings open, and Boston’s “More Than A Feeling” kicks in. Schaub gives everybody in the green room a fist bump, and he walks through that door, to the microphone that stands between him and a room full of people.

While on this trip to Nashville, Schaub got some ink — a tattoo of the Red Sox logo, paying homage to his 3-year old son Tiger and the baby he and his wife Joanna Zanella are expecting in November (another baby boy). Like any comedian, his loved ones are worked loosely into the material. He does a whole bit about potty training, in which he says he got his bachelor’s degree in kids taking shits. He talks about his Mexican wife during another bit, and her 11 relatives who live with him at a given time. There are kernels of truth in the jokes, but plenty of it is just Schaub stretching out as a comedian.

That’s what he is now. His conversations with an audience are generally confiding, super bro-ey, always edging toward self-deprecation. During the Stallone bit, he tries to do an imitation of Sylvester to demonstrate how much brain damage he has taken, and stops to ask — why do I sound like Christopher Walken?

or you couldve just archived it

And he does sound like Christopher Walken doing Stallone, and because he pointed it out the bit takes on an additional, delirious coat of the absurd. It works. The Friday night crowd roars.

Schaub is hitting his stride.

“The only fight I ever had where I was kind of, as they call, ‘in the zone’ when fighting, was the Gabriel Gonzaga fight,” he says. “I remember thinking, ‘What happened?’ Like, ‘I can’t believe I beat that guy.’ I was just in the zone, more as an athlete, and it was the fight-or-flight type of response, just me as a human being overcoming something. But man, I watch the UFC now and I think, ‘What the fuck? I can’t believe those guys do that.’ Like, I’m in awe of them, man.”

Awe is a promiscuous word, and Schaub knows it. Everyone in the entertainment industry is wooing awe, yet very few can inspire it. Schaub’s awe comes from left field. Let’s face it, his awe is of the WTF variety. A former fighter who can pack houses all over the country telling jokes? Who has a Showtime special that people love to hate on, in part because — what? — he’s not funny? It all came too fast? He’s a little too manicured for a comedian? He gets to day drink with Joe Rogan and crack jokes on Rogan’s pod the minute he gets back to Los Angeles (as he did this week)?

Schaub’s biggest haters, he will admit, are fight fans. He can never be as funny to those who saw him fight, or to the certain segment of fight fans who had him contained within that universe. There are those who will always be laughing at him, not with him, because he was that other thing first — and he was no great shakes of a heavyweight. It’s a stigma he deals with, a lot of times by provoking the narrative.

>we can never go back to 220
Sad feeling

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My favorite part is how Miesha claims to be a fighter yet her male co-host has to step in to white knight for her haha. I don't get why these people think Colby is gonna come on and not be Colby. They seem shocked that he doesn't drop it all and say "Aw shucks guys, thanks for having me, it's really swell to be here with you fine people." I find it all hilarious.

Eddie Bravo on Church today

youtube.com/watch?v=JZwHUw4EwWY

He's calling the shootings false flags lmao

Lawler wins the rematch

Still, it’s a hell of a turn when you think about it. Reinvention? Forget about that. A common nightmare is to appear in public in your underwear, as Schaub did for five years in the UFC. Another is to find yourself in a position where you have to speak to a large audience, which he is doing now. People fear being made vulnerable. Of rejection. The idea of failing can be paralyzing. Yet — and if there’s one thing that’s awesome about Schaub, it’s that he understands this — it can also be exhilarating.

“I’m drawn to it,” Schaub says. “But my thing is, because I put in the work and I work relentlessly on this to give them a good show, I know this is going to be good. I know that when I come back next year, I’m going to sell even more tickets. I know I’ll probably even do a theater next year, so I know it’s a good show, man. I know it’s a good show. I know that.”

FACE THE PAIN

FACE THE PAIN

Where does all this lead? What’s the end goal?

“’Saturday Night Live’s’ the goal — it has been since I was a kid,” Schaub says. “My goal is to get famous enough where ‘Saturday Night Live’ lets me host. That’s my heavyweight belt, that’s my Super Bowl MVP.

“But I got to say, I’m bad at celebrating moments. It’s do one thing then do the next. For my special, I was just like, ‘All right, get rid of that material, onto the next thing.’ When I beat (Mirko) Cro Cop, it was like, ‘All right, what’s next?’ Everything in my life’s, ‘What next?’ I feel like I always have to have some goal, and since I was a kid, ‘SNL’ has been my goal.”

Lofty? Sure. Schaub says he has done more than 500 shows now, which adds up to that 6,000 hours of comedy. He stands up there and he delivers lines, and people laugh. This is the gig.

“I’m a seasoned road dog, man. I put in the work,” he says. “To me, I feel like I have the best fan base in the world, but then I also have people that are like, ‘Oh, is he going to be any good?’ I’ll see people at these meet and greets, and they’ll be like, ‘Dude, I didn’t know what to expect. You were great, man. That was so funny.’

“I’m like, ‘Really? You thought I was going to suck?’ And they’ll say, ‘I didn’t think you were going to suck, but … ’”

Here Schaub gets in one last laugh before he heads off to LA, to Portland, to Houston, to his childhood home of Denver.

“But, I love it, man,” he says. “There’s not a better compliment in the world. It’s the best.”

>UFC back in Boston
>it's a fight night headlined by the battered husk of weidman and the guy who lost to volkan

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peepe or peepee?

>Toilet Till
>Latrine Ladd
>Urinal Urijah aka team Omega Manlets
>Outhouse Ortega aka T-CTE Roidtega
>Gent's room Gustafsson aka Anus Gus
>Restroom Rockhold aka Flushed Puke Cockhold
>Washroom Woodley aka Tyreese Snoozley
>Men's room McGregor aka Gab Gooby
>Potty Poirier aka Pissoir Poirier aka Dustbin Poorier
>Loo Lee aka Gevin-up Pee
>Cesspool Cerrone aka Clogboy Cerrone
>Diaper Dodson
>Kakalina Kohlercowicz aka Dookie Kookie
>Bathroom Borg
>Portajon jones aka Junkheap Jones
>Scat Zingano
>GloryHoley Holm
>W.C. D.C. aka Drainpipe Daniel
>Khapiss "The Bagle" Nurmagopoopoo aka Khabozo Urinegaymedoff
>Ben Rotsmell
>Blendin Shart aka Sexuality Hybrid
>Commody Garbrandt
>Diarrhea Dos Santos aka Face Plantos
>Poobert shittaker akd Doobby Wheetkaker
>Valenpeener Shitstinko aka Foul Bullet
>Stinkpee Miocic ake Sleepe Stenchic
>Rose Namurinas aka Thud Rose
>Alistair Diarrheem aka Pottychair Odorstream aka Garbagepail Urinestream
>Shogun Pooa
>TakePee Sperguson aka El Cacuy aka Tony El-Poo-Poo-Wee Ferguson
>Soil Stack Smith aka LyingTurd
>Wandiarrhlei Silva aka Uma C-T-Eicia
>Farticio Werdum aka Febrezetheroom Offumes
>NateCan Diarrhiaz
>Henwee "The Cringelord" Cepoodo
>Cumarpoo "Nigerian Sewer" Poosman
>Max Hollogay aka Min
>AlexCANder VolCANovski
>Crap Barry
>Cuckby "Cuckos" Cuckington
>Rafael Poos Canjos aka Raphael dos Baños
>Grug Sharty
>Lames Dick
>Franpiss Manguano
>Dirtdick “Black Fece” Lewpiss
>Tai Pooivasa
>Yarear Rodrepiss
>BM Punk aka CM Puke
>“Smellin’“ Sam Alvpee
>aCANda “Lionpiss” Poonez
>Boy's room benavidez aka mr. Olivi
>hard-stool sterling
>Jorge "inbred" Massivepile

>Puke Thomas
>Jackoff Slack
>Shitt Okamoto
>CTGayllacher
>Shitriram

>Pissuania
>Peeden
>Poozil
>United Cumdom aka Poonited Pissdom
>Bumgaria
>Bumerica aka PooSA
>Germanpee
>Peece
>Pissreal
>CANada
>Binland

>(You)FC
>UFSeethe
>PooFC
>CUM Championship
>Pissin
>Smellybore
>India Pooper Plight League
>Cumbate Americunts
>Burger King Flight Coop

>MMgay

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now thats that shit i DO like

>kamarudeen my son. They wont let you face peeon smellturds again
>colby is coming

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Funny thing is, Edwards was/would be actually a more dangerous fight than Canby. Kamarudeen by being better at everything Canby does.

youtube.com/watch?v=2h7LlRcNqA8

TJ Dookieshaw?

nah marty is shit and he's clearly ducking colby. sorry

Can we all just agree on one simple thing? There's 2 women who Ronda fought that still have good name recognition today.
Holly for beating the shit out of her
Miesha for having the shit beat out of her and being "hot"
In reality she's not really hot. It's just that when you put her next to Mrs.Wanderlei,Skelly Holm and a bunch of tattooed Lesbians a 5 can look like an 8.
Michelle Waterson,Paige Van Zant, Rachel Ostovich,Ronda Rousey. All are famous because 40 year olds with families and shit follow their IG buying their merch and driving up the numbers. If Ronda wasn't even remotely attractive she'd have the popularity of Amanda Nunes. The rest of them just straight up fucking suck. Now just to be clear there is nothing wrong with them being popular for their looks. The problem comes when a whore like Tate goes around talking down on the UFC(after they made her who she is) and guys like Colby as if whoring yourself out on Instagram is any different than promoting your own fights. ONE fucking sucks and anyone who follows this HONOR INTEGRITY RESPECT bullshit needs to fuck off to Asian bingo halls

Who was in the wrong?

Colby or miesha tate?

Figure four leg-lock.

Tgay Shittershaw

Miesha
Read

Miesha is a fucking slut that no one cares about, she shouldn't even be allowed to speak Coulbie's name

Asians don't play bingo.

i didnt read this post but it looks stupid

To be clear, there was never no penis

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Yeah, Marty is so shit he gassed and got taken down multiple times by RDA. Oh, wait...

*gets saved from maia by the ref*
*is made of glass*

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Marty is stronger and has more muscle mass than Colby but he fer sur gets tired more. When they fight you'll see that Colby has much better cardio. When he was fighting Tyqil Woodley and Ralphie Dos Nachos there were moments where I could see him taking little periods of rest to recharge

Imagine what raw American steel with twisted sex appeal with D1 wrestling will do to this nerd who almost got taken down by a bjj nerd

>the sheer level of retardation of Schaub and Joe on the mma show today
why i downloaded that 2 hour shitshow to listen to during work is beyond me. being trapped with schaub talking about ferraris. absolutely horrible.
>Brennan outright questions whether mass shooters are mentally ill, says they're just "reddit losers"
>Brennin openly panicking when Joe announces that he intends to move out of town
>Joe actually firmly believing that the fucking Rock is natty
>Joe and Brendan attempting to have a serious discussion on gun control
>Joe seething about Bruce Lee getting BTFO in tarantino's new flick and Schaub having to be the sensible one and say that Lee wasn't actually a munster, he was just an actor and it was just a gag in a movie

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>They're just "Reddit losers"
Where's the lie though?

>When he was fighting Tyqil Woodley and Ralphie Dos Nachos there were moments where I could see him taking little periods of rest to recharge

You mean like this?
streamable.com/2d3gy

When Marty fought RDA, he didn't get outstruck and didn't eat 100 punches. Marty's top control is light years ahead of Colby's. Heck, judging by the RDA comparison, Colby's top control is nowhere near Khabib's and Khabib is a LW.

Marty will pancake Canby and if Canby tries to strike, Marty will take his head off, because he actually throws with power.

wake up joanna

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ummm sweaty theyre from 8ch, also eliot rodger was a bodybuilding.comcel

>Kamaruslim is a Khabibshitter also
What a tweest. Kys Abuldimlah

Interesting fact: Colby landed 7 takedowns against RDA, Usman 12. Usman did in a 520 sq ft cage though to Colby’s 750, Colby landed about 17 takedowns on RDA per sq ft adjustment

You forgot to accuse me of being an Ali shill. You known that both Khabib and Marty are managed by Ali, right?

JJ's finished at 115 with the bolt-ons

King Colby letting the Brazilian peasant use up his steroids. He was even kind enough to beat the steroids out of him so Marty didn't have to

>HIP-HOP IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

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>JOSE ALDO PLEASE BE MY BULL AND STICK YOUR BALD HEAD UP MY WIFE'S PUSSY

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*loses*

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Lol how is Dwayne Johnson in any way natty?

IM actually kinda pissed Stipe got a title shot by doing literally fucking nothing

Such pretentious shitbrains

Colby destroys Snoozeman no doubt. I'll put all my money on it (which is nothing).

the cage size was different? how often do cages differ in size?

Lol yeah when I saw this sperg get taken down by RDA of all people I knew he'd be minced meat against Usman or Woodley

>Stipe got a title shot by doing literally fucking nothing
Hey, he whined a lot!

I'm also pissed that they BOTH KNEW a potential brock super fight was on the line yet sleepay did nothing but cry for a rematch immediately after the fight

but noone could understand what he was saying

Would you rather DC permaflush Francis? Because that was the alternative. This fight should have already happened but UFC need a main event and DC wanted an easy defense against poois instead of Stipe to preserve the Brock fight

white privilege

ngannou had unironically earned the fight and I think he does better against dc then stipe

Delusional retard

>DC
>flushing Francis
What a fucking retard

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Depends on the venue. In WEC and a lot of older fights at the Palms and such which they still will do for a TUF finale every now and then will have a 520 sq ft cage. But most cages are 750 sq ft nowadays just because the venues are bigger

Francis only needs to land once on DC's cracked chin

Why was colby banned from the miesha tate show? from what i can recall, he barely said anything offensive, just called them out for talking behind his back which turned out to be a misunderstanding anyway. Also usman seems like a cutbabby, when he's not fighting, he looks huge.

Im sure you said the same thing with Ortega taking down Max in regards to his chances against Frankie right?

YOU SUCK
YOU SUCK
YOU SUCK
YOU SUCK

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oh for sure ngannou is a munster easy win against dc first round heem 100%

>Frankie
Lol what? Never gave that guy even a slight chance of beating Max. Nice red-herring kid. Look at RDA taking down and holding down a gassed Canby.

Who is Ngannou going to fight for the vacated heavyweight belt?

spoken like a cazzie, ngannou's distance control and monkey arms will allow him to drop dc before dc gets the takedown and tries to wrestlefuck him. His distance control has improved a lot, in the jds fight, you can see how he's just outside the range of santos but near enough to counter. Not surprising he has a boxing background.

why does colby have such a fivehead?

>switches to schaubposting any time his view is opposed
I accept your concession.
DCuck would get fucking hammered by Francis. What do you think he is going to do, keep him at range like Stipe did? No, he can't, he is 5 feet flat

Doesn't matter who, he's going to be champ before this year is over. Ngannou vs winner of dc/stipe 2 in december.

Yeah sure you didn’t, sperg

>l-look at these three seconds!!
Sure, buddy. Munster accomplishment. Blaydes is gonna ragdoll Ngannou!! Luis Henrique friggin took him down!!!

based retards

No I didn't you moron
>bringing up unrelated fights
Lol now this is projecting

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Yeah sure you didnt buddy

>bringing up something that is consistent with my logic but contradicts my conclusion
Oh no! Maia is going to choke out Usman!!

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Marty looks like a ninja turtle here.

>implying Maia wasn't about to choke out Fakenewsman before the retard ref who didnt know what grappling was cucked him out of it

Wake up Max

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Ngannou heems Cormier, unless he somehow manage to tank punch during the clinch and survive a round.
Sleepay whined for a year while Ngubu built a series of first round KO against the divisions top.

Lol Canby is getting ragdolled by Usman and I can't wait to taste your tears and cope of "w-w-on the story" mandrama mong

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Francis heems DC. How is this even a discussion? Prolly same people who thought canlasquez was going to expose Ngannou with "wrestling"

Oh thats right he was about to but the ref broke it up

Usman could choke Colby lifeless and you’d still be a retarded sperg with no life or argument, like you are right now. But for sure Cain has no chance in the rematch against JDS he already lost!

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Please explain what I'm delusional about

Shhh, DC is sleeping!

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heem is falling for the francis meme again oh no no no

Get a grip on those brittle feelings manchild

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t.can canlasquez fan

JDS is a peach of a striker my guy Blaydes is an absolute beast of a wrestler bee

PFL tonight?

to hold his gigantic brain

I mean they are Ngannou just smashed them

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>Your Hollogays, your VolCANovskis, your Pootegas, your Oldos, your Zabitches, your Rodripisses, your Lil HeathCANs, your other 145ers whose names I couldn't turn into something derogatory....

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that draws the lowest ESPN ratings and ticket sales???

Prime Francis heems Ngannou

Khabib is undefeated

Masvidal is undefeated

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Oh did I upset you with my mean words? I didn’t realize you weren’t an adult and were so easily taken aback by mean words. You’ll get over it, baby boy. I’ll leave your too autistic to function mind at ease.

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>implying i didnt pick ngannpoo in both fights
>implying him beating a couple flushed cans means he beats stipe or especially DC
lmao

Alhamdulilah, mein Neger.

Keep responding fatboy

>Jessica Mandrade
>Amanda Poones
>Henpee Cedoodoo
>Micro Max
>Khapee Nurmapoomedov
>Marty Poosman
>Poobert Shittaker
>Dee-Pee

Ass Swallowgay

ok

Based

*ach* PLEASE LET GO S-SIR PLEASE I CAN'T BREATHE I'M SORRY FOR INSULTING YOUR COUNTRY PLEASE DON'T KILL MEEE

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Stipe was able to barely scrape by without getting shadow realmed because he stayed at range while Francis punched himself into exhaustion.
DC is an in-fighter and is literally unable to keep Francis at range.
Ngannou has also made leaps and bounds and doesn't shit the bed throwing wild haymakers anymore. We saw this clearly when he rocked GayDS and instead of chasing him down, reset in the middle of the cage and stuck to the plan.
Francis heems Stipe in the rematch and end's DC's life in the forematch.

This is what is supposed to happen to all cagehuggers

How good is Colby's joojitsu?

Any fighter that's ever lost by submission should have their man card revoked. No one can control being KO'd it happens, losing by decision? it's upto some fat judges so it barely counts...but submission? You're literally saying, "Sorry you're too alpha for me and I know you can kill me please mister referee sir step in and save my life before this man ends my life in front of millions"

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*ddts himself in your path*

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Yeah, lots of big boys

>implying your boy Bumbib has never tapped in his life
For sure my guy Khabib gets his arms and legs snapped every day when he rolls
You are such a fucking retard, train once in you are life

Sounds like your fave fighter is a tapping coward...Apologies. All the fighters I like have never lost by submission.

who's your favorite fighter?

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You just know

how much CBD oil did the man with the hat get for writing that horseshit

Hopefully Volkov if he beats JDS. Other than him the only options are a Lewis rematch or a rematch with Reem.

was gonna tell you to have sex but that's a peach of a pick

209 stockton motherfuckers! get you're ass ready conor imma fight you're ass!

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high IQ fighter pick.

Francis kills him, DC has nothing to back him up with and if he shot in the middle of the cage he'd be heemed in seconds

Its all about context
Not tapping to a choke is based and samuraipilled.
Not tapping to a jointlock is the absolute height of brainletry.
Miesha Tate let her arm get broken for literally no reason and put herself out of the game for an unnecessary amount of time.

>and is literally unable to keep Francis at range.
Rewatch DC vs Lewis bro. DC just stays on the outside and lets Ngannou gas himself with his telegraphed retard punches. DC puts him down with a low single in the second and that's all she wrote. Still blows my mind that people think Ngannou is a munster of a matchup for DC for sure. Have you not seen the two Rumble fights?

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For me, its the flying triangle

>implying lewis hadn't gotten the shit kicked out of him for 14 min and 45 secs
fer sure a munnnster title defence

>DC
>staying on the outside
>against Ngannou
homeboy.....

Would techfall anyone here

you will never be German, shitskin Arab mutt

Ngannou is bigger and better than Rumble

Wow, after watching that documentary I understand the hate for Schaub. He's actually a horrible person. I can't believe Coral actually defends this scum.

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What does DC stand for?

Dumb Cuck

>barely scrape
Lol he dominated and had one moment where he was hurt and he still amply recovered. He won on his wrestling and DC has a good jab at range where Ngannou isnt nearly as much of a threat with his telegraphed hooks and overhands. He didn’t punch to exhaustion he got wrestled to exhaustion. Ngannou is an infighter. You severely underestimate DC’s abilities to pump and land the jab at range then get a grip on the inside and go to town

>We saw this clearly when he rocked GayDS and instead of chasing him down, reset in the middle of the cage and stuck to the plan.
JDS whether from trepidation or otherwise made a hilarious overhand overeach with threw his footwork completely out of wack and off balance ripe for a counter and crumbled after that, it’s not as if Ngannou stunned him then methodically walked him down to a finish. Guys like JDS and Reem flailed part trepidation and part trepidation of exchanging shot for shot with a lack of movement whereas DC will get on the inside and weave on the outside where he has phenomenal level changes to power punches lunging forward looking for a knockout blow capitalizing on their momentary stiffness, immobility, and imbalance to put them on their back. Which Ngannou is very prone to doing like he did against Stipe. If he actually had a more meaningful jab or straight punch he’d have a better shot, but he also doesn’t have the lateral movement or endurance to stick and move and slip and rip, leaves his own head very stationary

Oh for sure
>Inb4 h-he looked off in that fight!!!

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dee cee

wrong fight brainlet

DC is easily hittable. Literally go and watch the Stipe fight again and see how much Stipe lands easily on him. Go watch the Jones fights as well. He's not some defensive master, he relies on his chin a lot like Max.

based

steep pitter patters him with pillowfists that dont even faze him lmao for sure dc was in deep walders, stipe wins the rematch

29 days until diharreabib takes a big saudi seilkh style shit down his throat by dubtstin poopier

My point is Ngannou hits harder than Stipe. And yes Stipe will win the rematch.

lmao

>Lewis is an easy fight, but for sure the guy that got 30-27'd by Lewis is a peach of a fight
Brainlet

>Lewis
got wrestle fucked by Roy Nelson has no output and is worse at everything other then switch kicks to Ngannou and still hurt DC with a glancing shot

>Rumble
couldn't even finish a flushed Arlovski and still dropped DC also t. reachlet

2 months until max “mini max” poolooway dies in front of his son against Alexander bumkanovski

Stipe hit him with a lot of 1-2s and the ability to walk forward pushing a high pace with relatively lesser trepidation towards the takedown, he wasn’t just swinging haymakers and hooks, he also cuts off the cage with his footwork pretty well. And needless to say Ngannou os nothing like Jones especially with his kicking range and ability to strike at distance

Maybe one of these days you'll make a non-autistic mma related post worth reading moron.

please someone post THE link

>got dropped by scat pendes
yeah i'm thinking alex is a can

Ngannou has the best 1-2 combo in MMA and if DC fights him the way he fought Stipe he's getting chinned in the 1st round

GO DERRICK NOOOOW!

what’s your favorite submission?

yeah for sure DC is muhammad ali my guy
>literally just walks towards Stipe with his arms outstretched like a zombie trying to clinch and takes 50 thousand shots to the head as a result
That shit would not fly with Francis. DC would be asleep in seconds
>tries to dirty box with Jones
Try that with Ngannou you dwarf faggot, see what happens

Lewis is still difficult to just rush towards and get under. Usually when he gets taken down its a result of a counter shot off a lazy kick, people aren’t just shooting in carelessly and taking him down, Roy who’s very underrated as a grappler still had to close the distance

>still hurt DC
Give it a rest

Rumble also clearly has massive power. One fight doesn’t change a career work and mixed up kicks with forward pressure and massive speed. Also 78 inch reach

Not to mention the Gus fight where he absorbed lots of punches and took lots of damage.

>Ngannou has the best 1-2 combo in MMA
No he doesn’t, barely even throws a 1-2. And again Stipe fights a totally different way

Ngannou has an 83 inch reach lol. Dwarf DC would get slept early. DC said he'd never sign to fight Ngannou and rightfully so.

ferr shurr, a beast of a rule my mans

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>barely even throws a 1-2.
See

Yeah that’s exactly what I said and Stipe “The Greatest” Miocic is Ali esque?

>literally just walks towards Stipe with his arms outstretched like a zombie trying to clinch and takes 50 thousand shots to the head as a result
Not what happened at all but okay and Stipe’s straight punches were his “issue” alongside facing a far quicker and agile superior wrestler to Ngannou

>Try that with Ngannou you dwarf faggot, see what happens
Why do you assume fighters fight the exact same in every fight? If anything he’ll get the clinch and feint the strike and get the takedown, opposite to Stipe

That isn't a 1-2 you fool

And he fights on the inside with wide power punches. How is this so hard to understand? Stipe simply needed to give basic feints and level changes with a jab to stifle and ragdoll Ngannou

>goes into Francis's range to clinch up
>gets chinned
>goes for Francis's leg to take him down
>gets chinned
Bravo DC

point being Lewis has worse tdd and that Rumble's power is clearly below guys like Hunt, Lewis Ngannou etc

Not a 1-2

Oh for sure DC has munster head movement he'll have Ngannou in deep waters my guy

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How does DC succeed where Cain failed?

the sperg who made it is more hateable than schaub

Top tier analysis Jack

When you actually get in on him yeah but he can be tricky to close the distance on and just take down at will. Rumble is still an immense puncher

DC is 100x better than stain ever was

name one (1) good fighter DC has beaten

Cain is a bodylet

DC is incredibly lucky he never fought Werdum because he would have been absolutely fucking battered

>Duck enough to avoid the shinbone and instead take a limp foot to the face
If that isn't goat-tier head movement I don't know what is

Werdum is a can

werdum is reckless and not a good striker. virtually all his losses are to guys with good hands, dc would probably heem him

Le chinlet roider BJJbabby
Oh for sure

*makes you seethe*

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>*makes you weep on live television with millions watching*

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marty with that gsp gut

colby had a broken rib for this fight

different guy btw

i already knew i didn't care for schaub (and the general group he is a part of) and yet i listened to that entire one hour documentary, and listened to most of the recent joe rogan show with him. while listening to that i was getting annoyed at some of what schaub (and rogan) were talking about, thinking to myself "what idiots" or "that is so wrong and stupid"

am i a hater? i felt guilty about what i did. why did i listen to an hour of a person talking badly about a person i already knew i disliked.

New Schaun takedown video youtu.be/nOHaeBm3-kc

There are a lot of guys that would have battered DC, not just a top 5 heavyweight of all time

Prime Roided Bigfoot silva

>listen to the latest Rogan podcast
>he's STILL talking about muh cocaine tainted with creatine

Least we've moved on from dick pill and yuuge dick

Rogans brain is just rotted out with weed, alpha brain and concussions

Evans and Davis both beat him

Rogan is literally a caricature of himself now.

Phil Davies will make his return to UFC soon. Remember, Rumble could not finish him, that's just how good he is!

He's a can

Poosmell Bumero

Gonna throw some posters up in my new den, have 4 already need 4 more

Post your favs

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Will you still say this when he heems Bader in the re-rematch? Didn't think so

He already got flushed by Bader

It was a robbery and you know it, Davies won that fight. Do not even try to dispute this, you cant.

DC is incredibly lucky he never fought Smoliakov

this

But why would he fight Bader after Kongo has already retired him?

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I'd heem you all in a nano second

Best poster of the best PPV of all time

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Is this the cheeto dust grand prix? I don't know who's worse, the loser who makes a youtube "documentary" about some washed up fighter turned podcaster or the people who would actually watch that garbage. Schlub is an unfunny oaf. Nothing more needs to be said.

Kongo is going to let us all down

*heems you in 2.038 pictographs*
heh tough luck kiddo

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When's his next fight?

You ain't no gorilla you a ding dong

In 2 weeks

I wasn't talking about the bum.

It's entirely possible

Fanmade trash

Neither was i

needs more bears and gorillas

When you think about it Greg Hardy completely shut down a bigger and better wrestler than DC in Juan Adams, so he could easily be HW champ in less than a year.

You were referring to the can. This was not the case for me, who [me] was referring to the GOAT.

Bosslogic is reddit cringe

Heavy Hands > Jack Slack

>It's a totally legitimate move that would basically put and end to all cage humpers like Usman and Khabib.
The 12/6 elbow is landed from top position. Who ends up on top Khabib/Usman or their opponents? You would be literally giving Khabib/Usman and other "cage humpers" an additional weapon to blast fools with.

TYRON WOODLEY

NEW SONG

youtu.be/0eASog7Tjfo

Heavy hands hosts are legit retarded tho, it took till the Usman fight for them to realize that woodleys style was based around fighting strikers

My fanmade poster for Masvidal vs Colby, please r8

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i actually agree my man. also love when retards think pride rules end the wrestler meme when it just makes it so they can smash grounded opponents with knees

Do you think you could beat Wyatt Barber (Maycee Barber's brother) in a sanctioned fight?
instagram.com/wyatt__barber/

Based.

youtube.com/watch?v=1BL4pgndH2M

Rip Münster.

More like Jshit Slshit

Cringe as fuck. Especially the intro skit with them hitting on those light-skinned sluts.

Everything Colby does here is unironically amazing from attack to defense.

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BASED

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based twood getting the fade and snatching up them lightskins

sick. can't wait for his title shot.

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Cage humpers doesnt equal wrestlers
It would basically end Lay and Pray style of fighting. Guy on bottom and guy on top dont take a nap. There is far more incentive for continual action. Guy on bottom will do anything to not get caught on the bottom and the guy on the top will actually have to go for something rather than wrestlehumping.
Rizin matches are 10x more lively because if someone just lies on the ground they're fucked

Flick: Conor wins the rematch
Movie: Poirier wins
Film: Gathje somehow gets a title shot and wins
Kino: Tony wins

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>pantomimes pinching some very tiny quantity
>intentionally mispronounces picogram to show how much he doesn't know about all that steroid jazz

idk why but it's hilarious

high IQ post

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Why is conor wearing skin tight yoga pants and kabib is in MMA shorts?

>it's actually pretty decent

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*passes polygram test*
he said it so many times lmao

Shut up, Callan

ALI ABDELAZIZ has the best head lmao

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So what you're proposing is to implement a rule that favors top control fighters (i.e. wrestlers first and foremost) in a sport that is already dominated by wrestlers. OK, I guess.

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to play touch butt with that dork in the park

Based Al. Is it physically possible to not like the guy?

Anybody watched the Beige Frequency documentary about Brendan Schaub on YouTube?

Give me one single reason Conor shouldn't be allowed to drill his elbow into Khabib's subhuman skull in this position

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>rule that favors
Fuck that shit. Its fucking MMA not boxing. If people dont want to get GnP then learn TDD.
The 12-6 elbow rule is retarded, adding more rules just stifles the sport.
Allow knees on the ground, allow upkicks while opponent is on the ground on top of you, allow soccer kicks, STOP talking about potentially getting rid of oblique kicks, all this gay shit just allows faggots to just game the system.

SHE'S BAC-

little too meta for my tates

Borrachinha is the handsomest man in spor-

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Wow, niggas, chill out, I don't mind the rule changes. I'm just saying that if the rules were to be changed the way you want, these changes would favor wrestlers first and foremost and fighters with a wrestling base would become more dominant, not less.

hey dovakhiin

You have to pick 5 fights, but you can pick any 5:

Kelvin Tiller vs. Denis Goltsov
Satoshi Ishii vs. Jared Rosholt
Vinny Magalhães vs. Rakim Cleveland
Rashid Yusupov vs. Viktor Nemkov
Ali Isayev vs. Carl Seumanutafa
Maxim Grishin vs. Mikhail Mokhnatkin
Valdrin Istrefi vs. Muhammed Dereese
Umar Nurmagomedov vs. Sidemar Honorio
Francimar Barroso vs. Ante Delija
Bazigit Atajev vs. Emiliano Sordi
Alex Nicholson vs. Zeke Tuinei-Wily
Jordan Johnson vs. Sigi Pesaleli

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Can someone take picks so I can start being anxious

>this kills the Khabib

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>PFL
LMAO

Usman has tiny calves, colby needs to practice some leg kicks, fuck his leg up and say goodbye to his pressure.

Are the retards who think Shaq wouldn't beat Conor, Khabib or mighty mouse to death still here?

If Colby listened to Marty on JRE he will be coming out blasting the kicks to the knees and cripple him for life

yeah, i'm here.

> UFC Newark Draws Lowest Ratings to Date for ESPN-Televised Main Card
Not too surprising. Other than the main event it was a weak card IIRC. Plus lots of Ameritards seemed to be taken surprised by the time.

Rogan keeps on talking about how Usman's knees are destroyed

Bozigit Ataev
Francimar Barroso
Vinny Magalhaes
Jordan Johnson
Ali Isaev

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Pam Sorenson vs. Kaitlin Young
Janaisa Morandin vs. Emily Ducote
Jessica Delboni vs. Lindsey VanZandt
Stephanie Geltmacher vs. Victoria Leonardo
Alyse Anderson vs. Katie Saull

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talk shit about my continent one more time i fucking dare you you stupid union jack

I'd take everything rogan says with a grain of salt. He loves speculating since it provides content for his podcast. What exactly did he say about his knees and did anyone else mention it? Why would his knees be in bad shape? he's a wrestler and hasn't really taken much damage anywhere including legs from what i can tell, maybe in sparring.

Nice quads man. Respect. No shit talking here.

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Someone who actually watches PFL/invicta regularly let me know if these cards are worth watching or what fights are.

>implying tiny calves are a bad thing

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he went on jre and when Joe asked him about his insane cardio marty outright said that he does zero running because his knees are too fucked up
also basically an admission to EPO right there lmao

I don't know the backstory but other user is making it sound like Usman has said it in the past as well. It could very well be fake news so Usman has a reason to feign injury.

as memeworthy and retarded a schaub is
his analysis of MayMac was not as off base as these meme-tourists and cheeto-dusted haters are still making it out to be
Conor did out-awkward him

Poo
Fag
League

Wrestling destroys knees, my peach. Look at these exercises wrestlers do each training session, do you think they facilitate knee health:
youtube.com/watch?v=A4lfow1Scc0

Dustins gonna knock out Khabib the way everyone thought Conor would, shift, step back, and blast a left as Khabib comes in. It’ll be a bit methodic leading up to that though

Damn dude are you here 24/7?

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Whittaker ends the genderbender meme and then THIS can fucking happens

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almost

I'm on the fence about it

gastelum is flushed

look what happened when a competent muay thai fighter like santos leg kicked jones to death, shut down his strongest aspect, his kicks. Also jones is lucky he has skinny calves, an excuse so he doesn't have more weight and isn't forced to fight at heavyweight where he doesn't have a huge reach/size advantage over opponents.

>blast a left as Khabib comes in
*goes for the low single which is too low to get punched while shifting his head-off center to avoid any potential knees*
Not so fast, kiddo.

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Oh for sure he had Floyd in trouble

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>37 years old
>married

yikes

>even bothering to post this as if Raging Bum didn't completely nullify Khabitch's offense on the ground with B-grade wrestling and forced Gassedbib into a boxing match

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Wouldn't be surprised, marty is huge and shredded at the same time, big weight bully.

*gets knee'd in the head and nearly mounted by Mcnuggets*

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>forced Gassedbib into a boxing match
>boxing match
Oh, I'm laughin'. I ain't even mad. Good one.

He's literally become a typical money hungry DUDE BLACK rapper, i honestly wouldn't be surprised if he threw the usman fight and had money on usman, blacks only care about money, so much for his "legacy". Terrible track, can't rap worth a shit.

Is that what goober fans tell themselves to sleep better at night? Khabib got kneed in the shoulder, specifically because he shifted his head off center and was shooting at a nearly 45° angle. He was also never in danger of getting mounted.

For sure Khabestiality was just practicing his standup right?

Did you literally just not watch that fight?
Khabib landed no takedowns in r3 and 4, and got only 1 in r5.
He very obviously blew his load early in that fight

Will Usman permaheem himself or be permaheemed by someone else when Colby flushes him

Khabeast outstruck him 5:1

Also Iaquinta made Conor look like an amateur in comparison

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I used to be a fan of Invicta, but they tanked after 100 roster purges and I stopped watching

PFL is usually a wild mix of shit. If you can sit through some Dagestani humping and a few slow fights you'll see some spice and a couple brutal heems

>For sure Khabestiality was just practicing his standup right?
Yep.

>Khabib landed no takedowns in r3 and 4, and got only 1 in r5.
Yep.

He was too busy outboxing Al *literally* 5 to 1 and testing out his Ali jab to give a fuck.

so basically a #11 boxer could nullify his ground game but the Champ Champ with a $100 million dollar camp failed to do so, and was even dropped by a grappler lol

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Valentina Shevchenko vs. Liz Carmouche
Vicente Luque vs. Mike Perry
Luiz Garagorri vs. Humberto Bandenay
Volkan Oezdemir vs. Ilir Latifi
Rodolfo Vieira vs. Oskar Piechota
Enrique Barzola vs. Bobby Moffett

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He was showcasing his jab because it was Muhammad Ali's birthday

Khabeeb is a funny guy

All I need to tell myself is that Khabib's spinal cord would not be intact right now if the rules weren't there to save him. Panic panic.

Cant flush the gast

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he won

every

single

round

Oh, fer sure, my peach, Khabib would not have benefited from that same rule change ten times more.

The dude who made this documentary has serious issues. Very bitter and for some reason taking out his anger on Brendan Schaub. Seems like the type who would do a mass shooting.

You realize those stats include ground strikes, right Abdul?

>You realize those stats include ground strikes, right Abdul?
Go to ufcstats and look at the strikes specifically for round 3, I'm too lazy to post a pic.

Oh for sure Khabib is gonna knee him to the head from this position my guy hunnerd persent

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>Khabib was just practicing his standup!!
For sure, thats exactly why he shot for the takedown THREE times in the last round, because he really, really wanted to box.

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>what is keeping up the takedown threat with half-assed takedown attempts
Low fight IQ, my peach. Try again.

Valentina
Luque
Garagorri
Latifi
Piechota
Moffett

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I think he needs to do one on Rogan, there's more material.

Feed Nana.

Shevchenko
Luque
Garagorri
Oezdemir
Vieria
Barzola

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Yes, for SURE Khabib does not gas midway through fights and take a shit in the cage
Third Round victory for Conor baybeeeeeeee

imagine putting that together.

>ya know i don't mind a bit of racial humor, but that asian
shut up

its MMA dork you must always mix it up

this is why Canor isnt a champ anymore, hes a one dimensional can

back up doot

Remember the time Khabib had _____ minor flaw, but still won every single round 10-7?

Heh....what a looser... heh...

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He shit his jocks, SHOITE ONDABUS

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Conor is not one dimensional lol. Just because you don’t use very many takedowns doesn’t mean you are one dimensional

Conor canonically won the third round.

This guy is part of a group of trolls that torment people outside the internet and utilize SJW tactics to get them to lose sponsors, jobs, and generally make their lives as miserable as they can. They are not above going after their 'targets' families, either. One of the ring leaders was recently convicted of stealing electronics from a stole and evading the police until he crashed his SUV. His young son was unbuckled in the back, and unfortunately died as he was launched from the vehicle in the collision. This complete fucking lunatic (one of many in this group), STEPPED OVER HIS DEAD SON'S STILL-WARM BODY WHILE RUNNING AWAY FROM THE POLICE.

An absolute fucking monster, and there are hundreds of these guys. Don't watch this video. I don't think Schaub is a great talent, but he's a man with a family that isn't hurting anyone. He does not deserve this.

Sorry for the serious post on /heem/, but these guys are out of control and harassing people that did nothing to them.

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I find Mike Perry really attractive. Not sure what it is. Partly his macho charisma. Partly his big eyes. Big anime eyes. Then he's got an almost cartoonish face besides that; his eyebrows for instance, take on quite cartoonish shapes - good shapes - but shapes so contoured that you'd think only a cartoonish could draw them. That bend in the eyebrows - strong eyebrows - when he grimaces. It's beautiful. His face generally is just very well shaped. Nothing is too big. Dangerous, yet handsome. And very symmetrical. His brow is strong without being caveman strong like a Bork.
He's just a good looking guy.

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Jack Slack and BJJ scout are literally the only consistently good MMA analysts.

Schaub cant handle the bantz

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>Not sure what it is
You're a bender is why

>Third Round victory for Conor baybeeeeeeee

If any judge actually awarded this round to Canor, it was simply out of pity to keep hope for Canor alive

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Double birrel shortgorn

I think you are jumping the gun a bit there man.

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THOUGHT YOU WERENT A POOFTER BOY AHHHHHHHHHH
THOUGHT YOU WERENT A RENT BOY AAAAAAHHHHH

>Jack Slack inserts his politics into an MMA video

Think I'll stick to The Weasle

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Khabibs dad is at the bottom

Not a good post. You seem like a man who drinks child spit.

Haha fucking ideologue

Based and redpilled. There is something about his low IQ happy-go-lucky nature that is just pleasant. I feel like if I ever hung out with Mike Perry, there would be a 40% chance we'd end the night in jail. He's a fun-loving wildman, completely unburdened by society's expectations of behaviour.

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All that drunken pony talk makes Conor look so foolish now lmao

Khabib retired your boy permanently

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Hes a stuffed up pillow fencer with only a left hand and no wrestling/jiu jitsu

Is that Trippier

SEETHING Khabibsexual detected. Conor is the undisputed 3rd round KING.

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The Weasle is the Luetin09 of MMA commentary. Jack Slack is Arch Warhammer. And I'm a Luetin guy.
If you don't understand what I'm talking about, just go ahead and jump off a high thing.

ROUND THREE
Sig. Strikes
>Khabitch 15/37 (40%)
>GOATor 34/52 (65%)
Total Strikes
>Canbib 17/39
>Godor 44/62
Takedowns
>Shitatwrestlingbib 0/3
Takedown Defense
>TDDor 3/3

In no way did your Dagestani ratboy win the Third Round.
The Notorious Victorious.

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Are scousers even human?

Jej

Cherry-picked image, Danis won the story and would unironically beat Khabib up in a fight. Danis is bigger and strong than Khabib, and a better grappler.

>I'm going to wrestlefuck the only man that gave Gordon Ryan a tough match in his division of the last ADCC tournament

Good luck with that.

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>AHHH DENA DENA HELP DENA HE HETTIN ME WHY HE NAT TRYN TO WREZLE ME DENA TELL HEM HE KENNAT HET ME

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i cant let you get close

Just because his left hand is the only one he knocks people out with doesn’t mean it’s the only one he uses. He draws out counters with his right all the time.

Conor is a high level brown belt in BJJ. His jiu-jitsu is above average in any other division.

>This complete fucking lunatic (one of many in this group), STEPPED OVER HIS DEAD SON'S STILL-WARM BODY WHILE RUNNING AWAY FROM THE POLICE.
What was he supposed to do? Sit there and wait? If he's dead, he's dead. Not much more can be done for him at this point.

>It's a cuckold UK flagposter seething over their stolen homeland by mudslimes episode

Daily reminder to ignore UK Ahmeds

Weekly reminder that London is a Shariah Law zone

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You guys think Asspeedoll waits for his title shot or he'll cuck and take another fight?

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Christ, they're even here now. Please, find a more productive hobby than trolling D-level celebrities and their associates. This guy is spending countless hours of his life making movies exclusively meant to make people feel bad about themselves.

What did Schaub do to you? Make comedy you don't enjoy? Why make a literal movie shitting on him and trying to make him feel bad? Isn't there something more positive you could be doing?

that lamborghini huracan spyder isn't going to maintain itself

DC's defense is just ducking his head and that's how Jon caught him with the kick and Gus with the knee. His chin has saved him from numerous heems

Colby vs Kamaru confirmed TUF coaches

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Khabibi stood with your pillow fencer to embarass him

Basically "I am standing in front of you and you cant do shit"

Aspen Ladd vs Yana Kunitskaya

Claudia Gadelha vs Cynthia Calvillo

espn.com/mma/story/_/id/27349343/ladd-gadelha-bouts-highlight-dc-card

>avoid potential knees

streamable.com/9w3g6

He got rightfully cucked out of it by Colby who just cut a based promo and got 1.6 mil views on his argument with Marty.
He will have to fight Edwards on the same card as Colby and Marty

I think Colby would be a good coach. He's got that military, I-like-to-shout-and-encourage-people attitude.

literally who?

>embarrassed him by losing the round
Truly high IQ work from Khabeastiality

Cringe

Face it. If Conor can't KO his opponent. He can't win.

There are some guys you simply can't KO. Conor has no answers for that class of fighter.

Hes an amateur that was carried by big push by Dana.

SHEV
LUQUE
GARAGORRI
VOLKAN
VIERA
BARZOLA

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>Claudia Gadelha vs Cynthia Calvillo
My heart.

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>When you pride yourself on being a good striker then get slapped around by a Dagestani grappler and even dropped

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Oh look now this retard wants to use UFCstats

LMAO

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that fat fuck is cutting to 135 again to fight Yana lol just fight her at 145 fatass

Get down and give me 20.

Based ArchiveGod!

Cringe

>wins the rematch against Diaz with decision
Conor is undefeated in rematches whereas Khabib has never won a rematch in his life. Khabum is ducking it hard because he fears Motivated Conor

You seem invested in this story.

>want to blow my fucking brains out
>go on /heem/
>see a great fight gets booked
>damn it, now I'll have to delay again
>repeat

Anyone else know this feel?

>by decision
Lol doesn't even count

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Just do it after Jones Cormier 3, Conor isn't coming back so nothing else will be worth it

no, you weirdo. but what fight?

Every moment of that fight was a skillfully crafted humiliation, because he had Conor's back after 15 seconds, but chose instead to punish him.

>1st Round, exhausts him, takes away all his energy
>2nd Round, Drops him, bounces his head off the canvas
>3rd Round, Stands and toys with him while he is neutered and has wet noodles for arms
>4th Round, Takes his life, makes him beg for mercy, seconds away from ripping his head off

Didn't allow it to go decision either, so Dana had no chance to buy the judges

It was a hilarious and absolute wrecking of Dana's boy

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Other than most of UFC 241,I really want to see Shittaker vs Pissrael and Poosman vs Colby.

is this the most cazzie comment in the thread?

I just remember when this sheepfucking sperg insisted how incorrect UFCstats was and how much of a disingenuous fanboy fucking loser he is shitting up every thread with his obnoxious autism. Contradicts himself just to try to claim an upper hand in an argument

Stay seething

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>Shevchenko
>Perry
>Garagorri
>Oezdemir
>Vieira
>Barzola

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>PUSSman asking to fight leon again

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It is well documented that the UFC altered the striking stats of Conor vs Khabib to make it "seem" more evenly matched on hopes of justifying a rematch

Another reason why stats are essentially worthless

m.youtube.com/watch?v=n8-dOLWYtus

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Khabib doesnt need rematchs because he never loses unlike Canor "lost his last 3 of 4" McCuckor

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Gleison Tibau

>Blackne
>Hairline 4 inches above where it should be
>Greasy face
>Nerd goggles
>Cheap carnival watch from a vending machine

Is he, day I say it, our boy?

Fuck no

who got the pic of styletwink w gf

lost every single round to Khabib?

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I hear Conor averaged 11mph on a top-of-the-line carbon-fiber road bike, on flat ground and in 5mph wind

What a cardiolet

Khabib is undefeated

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Long live the King

I'm sorry but I don't speak incel

ME: Where we at with the Brendan Schaub documentary, B?

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Remember that time Conor was KO'd by a retired 45 year old manlet?

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You don't even know what a unanimous decision is hahahah fucking retarded american

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I saw it live in a double convention center full of about 1,000 people

essentially 90 minutes of niggers and spics laughing like hyenas as Gooby got battered and a few fake Irish seething afterwards and losing their girlfriends to BBC manlets

Well, what I was saying was: you're a pleb.

Khabib has never lost a round

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will conor ever stop seething over this loss?

do you think it keeps him up at night?

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Being Plebeian is about the highest class of user on Yea Forums desu so thank you

Oh no...

Pathetic

What would be unironically his path to return?
>Nate trilogy
>emerges victorious and is able to request a rematch after Dustin gets murdered
>finally ends the khabob meme for good
???

Herb my man get this cheating weasels fingers and toes out of the cage, hes holding Khabibs glove, did you see that illegal knee?
Pussy fighter. Panic Panic

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You can smell the unshowered virgin in the thread whenever someone tries shitting on Conor

Shevchenko
Perry
who cares
Volkan
who cares
who cares

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>there are people on my /heem/ who think Mike "Pillow Puncher" Perry can beat Vicente "The Silent Assassin" Luque

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>asking Herb to do something worthy
Truly the most stupid part of that tweet

When is this cunt going to fuckoff back to niggeria

He's faced subpar manlets and thinks he's GOAT because he was in a sport that was filled with cans

heem has literally become the hate-on-khabib general, why so much hate? either you guys are racist and can't handle muslim guy dominating everyone or you're mcgregor fanboys who are eternally seething, which is it? probably both.

>round 1 annd already heavily breathing through his mouth
oh fer sure yer a munster b and deserved to get a free standup

I hate how I cheer for fighters getting heem'd because of this stupid fucking thread.

I was so happy when Aspen Ladd lost because I wanted the Ladd spammer here to cry butthurt tears but now I feel kinda bummed out, she was a nice girl who got KO'd.

Real question is, why return?

He wasn't able to get a single title defense while holding two belts hostage for 2 years.

Out of the 4 Double Champions hes the only without a single title defense on either belt.

His "legacy" might be the weakest in UFC history. He will retire not even a top 30 fighter all time.

islam isnt a race but if it was i would be racist to it like any normal person

It's Ahmed Khan again. You are just sensitive to Khabib criticism because you a faggot fangirl.

>tries

he has been thoroughly BBC long dicked in this thread user

The pillows being a metaphor for Luques chin going to sleep on them

no rule will ever change that disadvantages wrestlers, if anything they will ban all knees to the head

Friendly reminder even a slavic mudslime is whiter than Conor

Irish are the niggers of Europe

If he doesn't just back away and falls onto him as he goes for it he gets top mount, or at least his weight on kabib and control to move him more than khabib does. The low single shit is literally to use against people who don't know how to wrestle at all. Look at him, he even just puts his hands up and out like a 'stop, dont bro' when he should be doing TDD. Khabib has faced plebs and people act like he's the GOAT. He's just a new level and everyone else has to adapt. The khabib nuthuggers are the WORST

>Khabib criticism
>le muslim name joke
laughing at you seething faggots while khabib remains undefeated and crushes your favourite "elite" fighters, kek. The seethe is strong in you, might want to channel that incel rage at something more useful Stuart.

>implying that isn't already her duty

You know what we haven't had in months?
A good old Friday Night UFC card.
Very underrated imo.

Everyone is a little racist, the issue is this isn't a board or general for discussing politics or religion, criticizing khabib as a fighter is one thing, criticizing him just for his religion is another. Most people in this general who hate on him would be sucking his balls 24/7 if he was a regular white guy from america.

Mike Perry hasn't gotten a finish with punches since 2016 and even that was only a TKO against Danny Roberts(lol). He's a can and Luque will prove it Saturday.

You'll clearly make a good father one day user...

Thanks Based leaf

Khabib is literally caucasian, conor is an irish potato, only fake "irish" supporting faggots will deny this.
>LE 1% IRISH LETS GO CONOR!

I'm not a fanboy or anything but at least Connor was entertaining on the cage and was pretty active during his reign, after khabob defeated him he is been sitting on his ass for months and when the time comes to fight Dustin it will be probably 5 rounds of wrestle fucking that will lead to a decision, and what comes next? Another year of inactivity for sure

Complete fucking joke. An unknown comedian of equal talent would have worked ten years to get the same stage time as Schaub got on day one because of his faggot buddy Rogan calling in favors

>UK cucks remembering how Conor was humiliated into retirement by a cholo gangsta from the hood, a nigger and a muslim

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>"elite"
You're right about one thing. None of the fighters Khabib fought were elite. Let me meme some more: he beat an estate agent not even ranked top 5 to win the belt (easiest belt in UFC history) then defended against a retired featherweight whisky merchant.

I'll show Khabib a little respect if he beats Poirier and Tony. I'll call him a good fighter if he goes on to defend against some real lightweights. Right now he's a meme and only Muslim virgins think he's even remotely impressive.

hold on faggots you seriously been talking about conor and khabib for 3 hours straight? holy shit you guys better have sex soon

Carla Esparza
She is of Mexican, Ecuadorian and Irish descent.[63]
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carla_Esparza#Personal_life

Her birth name is Oconnell unironically.

Kailin Curran is also Irish and they took her off this week's invicta card

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Is that a proposition? ;)

>Irish, Mexican and ecuadorian
> that pic
Dios mio...

Who's you favorite Irish fighter? For me, it's Paul "The Irish Dragon" Felder.

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I know rogan's podcast is huge but does he actually have that much power? to turn a talentless brainlet like schaub into a successful comedian? doubtful

Do they have horse meat in Mexico?

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after he beats poirier without breaking a sweat, you and the other americuck are still going to be hating on him, just give it a rest. Mcgregor got submitted and clowned on the first time he fought someone his own size.

wait, "Cinnamon" was Mexican?

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>active during his reign

spent 2.5 years inactive and stripped of both titles for inactivity

nah, all the meat in mexico is tainted with peds, just ask canelo.

Islam isn't a religion you fucking idiot it's a cult made up by a 50 year old pedo warlord. Might as well call the teachings of Don Juan a holy book.

Your country is literally being overrun by muslims and you're trying to justify it lmfao

'maybe if we're just peaceful and nice to them they'll be nice to us when these psychos inevitibly take over our institutions'

Yes, why?

On the GASso

>hate on khabib every chance you get
>defend conor 24/7
yh fer sure b, you certainly aren't a brainlet hater without any valid points, it's too bad you can't get mixed up due to that taco flag, gotta put my mexico filter back on i think.

Here we go, the pedantic autist. Yes we know, Judaism and Islam are religions. Shut the fuck up you know full well that people who hate Jews and Muslims don't hate them because of their beliefs.

>Ill give him respect if he beats Poorier

Hes already beaten 2 men who finished Poorier in the 1st round lmao

alexa said she wants to have the body of felice herrig

Omegalul, poppier will put Kab in the Chinese footbind for 25 straight minutes.

imagine getting so upset at someone’s opinion on the fighter you like to the point you have to filter their flag to not get you fillings hurt lmao

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Given that decisions aren't wins, yes you're correct

(And he's really only """lost""" one decision)

>Kill the kaffirs
>Rape women
>Behead people
>Braise ballah :DD
>>Lol i mean cmon bro nobody hates them for their beliefs, only their skin color XD

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Everyone just ignore this brainlet islander, he always rambles about jews and muslims,

>look up this yt channel
>first video "speed painting brendan schaub"
What kind love/hate mental illness is this?

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Stop samefagging you suicidal freak :3

not a fan of this look on her

>Stop samefagging you suicidal freak :3

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Was literally listening to it as I read this

Yes moron. There are people with retarded beliefs all over the world and nobody cares about them.

...

Almost every PFL fight is a LnP yawner despite them giving bonus points for finishes. It's a shit promotion honestly but what else can you expect from Ali Bin Laden

Shevchenko
Mike Perry
Garagorri
Volkan Oezdemir
Piechota
Barzola

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Costa is an overrated can crusher. Yoel si gonna finish this boy. Costa zero striking defense, just swings his big roided hands about, his chin is definitely getting checked.

PFL is filled with boring muslim subhuman crotch huggers managed by Ali and has an annoying female announcer that takes fucking forever, clearly cares nothing for mma and probably got her job by blowing somebody.

Despite being an unfunny hack, Rogan is a made nigga at every comedy club in the world and somehow fell back assward into the biggest most profitable current year media entity. Everyone in the comedy industry will eat the corn out of his shit if tells them to.

STATSGOD
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Based

Sharpshooter

Poopoo peepee

Cum