/cric/ Eng vs Cunts

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For me, it's trying to convince big strong foreigners on Yea Forums that Australians don't really talk like bogans that say fuck and cunt every second word because I went to school full of Asians and I am a minority in my own city.

Paine or YJB? YJB make me wish i couldn't determine emotions from facial expressions

Ya reckon Warnie has a go at Isa?

Just woke up. Pitch is a road now?

She wouldn't have got hired if she wasn't a goer.

Which school mate?

Always is on day 4 apparently.

YJB must be the worst poker player.

NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE NATHAN

Reckon he might Mount Isa if you know what I mean, haha

what'd we do this time?

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>no wickets yet
It's over for pozstralia

The one that bums lyons literally every single delivery. He's a good bowler stop reminding him every 30 seconds you stupid cunt.

Joined the war late

surprised you havent been called into work yet

>you now remember Healy shouting BAWN SHIN after every delivery

THE BARMY ARMY
*claps*

Do they say 'g'day' though. I hope some stereotypes are real

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1564864685487.webm

x1000

Ian Healy was a keeper

America is such a grim fucked up country

yeah i hear it all the time. all the stereotypes youve heard of australians are true for queenslanders and western australians

burns looks worried

>Checked drive for two runs
BARMY ARMY! BARMY ARMY! BARMY ARMY! BARMY ARMY! BARMY ARMY! BARMY ARMY! BARMY ARMY! BARMY ARMY! BARMY ARMY!

Sometimes they do do that yeah

you shagged sheila

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hate burns

Gilly was bloody annoying, sounded like a cockerel

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>trying to fit west australia into the rest of real australia

these fifo cucks will never stop will they

HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT

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LOL

>Le honourable walking man

Why are you taking screenshots of my gf

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I've got my feet up, won't be doing any work until tomorrow evening.

That Yank has brown hands

BEST australia is the most true blue aussie state. this fact makes inferior eastern state fairies SEETHE

Why do these BSAs keep shagging Aussie wives and sweethearts while Bruce sweats and bleeds at the front?

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This time next year.............

>The Barmy Army, which is now a limited company, states that it wants to "make watching cricket more fun and much more popular". The group uses flags, banners, songs and chants to encourage the team and crowd participation in their activities. In contrast to the reputations of some sports fans for hooliganism, the Barmy Army organisers actively discourage and avoid such behaviour.

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>No underwear
>Pretending to resist
Foids gonna foid.

>can't even get Roy out

draw confirmed

For me, it was Matt Prior trying to make up for his shortcomings as a keeper by bawling GET ON THAT! whenever the batsman clipped an easy single

>true blue aussie state

spoken like a true second generation immigrant or neocon shill in the pocket of big coal

>this dead lifeless pitch
what a joke

>poocastle
grim

The aussies face is exactly like the meme

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He was worth his place just as a batsman though. Would have saved this match.

i will be reunited with my ice addicted prostitute girlfriend and we will have children together

there was an aussie on krautchan whose dad looks exactly like the meme

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>no wickets
fucking grim, this'll be a draw no doubt

Business idea: Win

Has a better average than all our top 7 apart from root

uncanny

Hairlines looking a bit like Pattinson’s haha

>Root is our only player with a batting average over 40
Yikes

Roy is literally 0 IQ why did he even play that

Why the fuck did they only leave themselves 7 overs to bowl?
Anyways, off to bed
Night lads

>Rory Burns will become just the tenth batsman in history to bat in all five days of a Test.

Sneed Smith

Who do Australia drop/pick for the next test?

interesting.

yeah same, night boros

Harris IN
Bancroft OUT

drop bancroft
drop sidds
add harris
add starc

SKIPPYYYYYYYYYYY

based Skippy here to save the day

AWW SHIIEEEEEET

Not even close baby

Unlucky boys maybe next time
Reckon we'll get 400 by tea

Where is skippy?

based
youtu.be/rcHJ4EC2nCM

The hero we don't deserve

Those men behind the rocks look dodgy

>ek(1) plate palak paneer aur keto roti bla
>ek(1) plate palak paneer aur keto roti bla
>ek(1) plate palak paneer aur keto roti bla
lunch.
served.
simple as
x

the fuck is keto roti

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GLAD you asked bla
nutritionrefined.com/coconut-psyllium-flatbread/
x

Is that >Moyes?

Who?

the ironic thing is Roy is such a dumbass who has shown he doesn't give a fuck that its tests that if he actually did pop off on this dead pitch he'd actually be capable of chasing it, he's gotten some big scores before and he really starts to dominate once he gets rolling

but that's not gonna happen

a girl held my hand the other day and it felt pretty nice.

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Happy for you lad

>the state of those rotis
also are you gonna eat whole of that curry?

ummm..no bla x
packing the leftover for toil

h-hot

Night lads

hmm good

'nite bla x

zoomers on board with this should also realise My Favoutire Martian is extremely red-pilled

bore draw
glad i have been working instead of watching it now

based premiers

Yeah reckon England will be batting for a draw here.

back in from cricket nets
hope the lads can get a draw

twitter.com/FOXSportsnl/status/1157960172352004097
BASED

Tim Paine, you utter imbecile! Why didn't you declare earlier?

Because I'm on smoko so leave me alone is still my ear worm today, try this from Brisbane:
youtu.be/CW10_YMH4kI

To be fair captains are almost always painfully conservative when declaring. My fave was when Brendon McCullum set England 481 to win in a series-deciding match (they finished on 315/9). He was supposed to be a who-dares-wins type of captain too kek.

youtu.be/UCLlMMLfNgQ

>england having to bat a whole day for the draw
>boring

this is going down to the wire or england will collapse pathetically

Lads how do I bowl leg breaks?
I’ve never seen a cricket ball before nor bowled.

ez pz bla ngl
it's all in the wrist, try getting your technique down bowling underarm first x

5 days of cricket
and it ends in a draw

brainy af ngl

youtu.be/DVKEhce6Hqw

tickets for each day started at a hundred quid aswell

oof x
youtu.be/gP07_iaUwb4

youtu.be/SAtU3bXuE5s

youtu.be/MoW_fqr86JU

youtu.be/5bR5BrDfAao

imagine paying over a hundred quid to see today

really dull stuff

reckon we should repurpose smith's big autistic brain to solve world hunger because:
a. would be good for humanity
b. i'm getting very butthurt watching his meme shuffle flick to leg all day grinding >us into the dirt REEEEEEEEEEE

youtu.be/oy2x_kHCy4w

For me it’s begbreaks

based chant

twitter.com/jarleth_eaton/status/1158040359211077632

heard them singing it but couldnt make of the words

and he fell off a cliff those last 2 ashes series before he retired, was an absolutely elite #7 and ended up being an ok keeper at the end. massive bellend tho

I find it strange how guitarists and bassists play with their instruments that low reaching their crotch.

now ive got a job i havnt got time to watch the youtube

what are they chanting??

reckon you should bowl around, as wide as possible on the crease to his leg side

he walks over so far I think it'd fuck with his autistic shuffling because it's an awkward position to hit from with his crab stance

>massive bellend tho
That whole England team was deeply unlikeable. They were either dickheads like Prior and Swann or posh wet blankets like Cook.

reckon the more technically challenging stuff requires holding it lot more closer ngl bla x

I feel like prior was more self-righteous than the rest, whereas swann was a prick at least he knew he was a prick

top kek

that was nass' idear

The guitar is a phallic extension la

Yeah, Jack White said something like guitar being a phallic symbol.

youtu.be/YJ1iaNHEjFU
fīn
x

This kind of post rock is like listening to regular alternative rock songs with the vocals removed.

get the feeling that australia are a Head in this match

youtube.com/watch?v=x-MgkoLKMr0

Sad lyrics.

can't help but feel England's ship has sailed

australia expecting a population increase?

>David Wiseman is mad about cricket but faces two problems: he's Jewish and he's absolutely hopeless at playing the game.

kek

Asian gf at the front, good lads.

Looks like the girl from Kero Kero Bonito

the what now?

Smith? Too good.
State of >us? Cooked.
The match? Lost.

ethereal atmosphere to it

I have dengue lads, cheer me up :(

if England are able to knuckle down and get to the close of play tomorrow without losing 10 wickets, there's a good chance they'll be able to secure the draw. if they're aggressive and are able to catch up to the total that australia set them, there is every chance they may be able to win

however if let australia take control and lose 10 wickets before the close of play, there's a very good chance they may lose this match

back to you athers

just wondering how it is to be a dirty sand person nasser

>Smith? Too good.
he isnt though, the pitch is shit and england are missing their best bowler, fucking boourns got 133 on this pitch

this was the same as last ashes down under, although obviously that's also a shit pitch for our bowlers

he just doesn't get out and grinds them into dust all day long, they literally have no idea how to bowl to him

*leaves*

he got out to swing today, he will get out to it again as long as its there. england have effectively been without a spinner as well as without anderson and they are looking at a draw most likely, thats not a terrible outcome - smith is best batsman in the world but not on the basis of this match

He had a century earlier on against the moving ball with wickets falling around him, plus boo-urns played and missed no less than 40 times during his innings so was very lucky

granted anderson might have made a bit of difference but not too much on this pitch

that 40 figure that warne said was literally just hyperbole, not an official stat

>granted anderson might have made a bit of difference but not too much on this pitch

Anderson would've made a gigantic difference in the 1st innings, and he's still our best bowler even on shit surfaces due to his unwavering line and length. Even in the ashes down under he averaged 20-25 or something.

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r8 my oc lads

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Sneed

liked

kek
KEK
K E K

K E K

E

K

That England feel when you remember how good it was having Strauss Cook Trott Pietersen as the top 4

dislike how people talk about the greatness of women cricketers

they have no competition because 90% of the players are basically casuals who make comical mistakes constantly

bit sexist mate
reckon you should check your privilege

You just knew they constantly ripped the piss out of Bell, but Bell was too stupid to know they were doing it, and Strauss and Cook were too posh and repressed to stop them

apparently they bullied monty a lot

you can tell swann is a right cunt just by listening to him on commentary, just one of those people who thinks he's hilarious but he's the only one laughing (at his own jokes)

get the feeling that anderson is finished

agree was completely invisible this game

It takes more intelligence to draw than win

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get the feeling that nonce zealand is finished

Swann was always the sort of man who buys rounds of jaegerbombs and insists you all wear fake tits on a stag weekend

>ynr when Strauss was a Sky pundit
Complete mental weakling with no spine.

Bold call to suggest a 37 year old fast bowler with an injury may be on the way out.

funny thing is he's literally only gotten better, pretty sure 35-37 are his peak years if he ends up going out

When you read KPs book it just seems to have been the most piss poor man management. Players who knew they couldn't be dropped acting like shit towards everyone else and not being called out on it. That Flower set up was supposed to be all about marginal gains etc, you would have thought they'd pick up on it.
In hindsight it must have been why every no6 after Colly retired, and every opener after Strauss, was a bit shit

is KP's book even worth reading?

I'd assume it's super biased

>That Flower set up was supposed to be all about marginal gains etc, you would have thought they'd pick up on it.
The problem was that the managers were best mates with the senior players. Strauss should have been dropped due to poor form at least a year before he retired, but there was never any chance of that. Likewise there was never any chance of 'Cooky' losing the captaincy despite clearly being no good at it. I don't completely trust KP but the general situation was obvious.

Take it with a massive pinch of salt, but the portraits of his teammates have the ring of truth about them, and the description of the dressing room dynamics is too detailed to be bullshit. It's worth reading just because it avoids the usual 'he's a great pro and a wacky guy in the lockers' sports bio blandness. You rarely get someone actually saying what goes on behind the door.
Reminds me in a way of a story about Tendulkar and what it revealed about the Indian set up in the 90s. In team meetings they decided to let Sachin have a seat, even though he was a younger player. Because the custom had always been that each team nearing would only have like four chairs for the senior players, and everyone else would have to sit cross legged on the floor in front of them as a mark of respect.

It's probably not going to kill you, also England are losing this test.

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Who's Elsie Perry?

Coconutted roastie

complete and utter cope

smith has been fucking england in the arse for years

literally not one of their millions of plans has ever worked

athletes you want to endure a career ending injury

I'll start

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It's like flashbacks to the 90s with Steve Waugh. Ugly as this current cunt Smith is, it's effective right now and i'd like (non-meme) discussion. I'd really like to discuss the technical aspect and what i'd be thinking as a captain/coach

Nicole I’ve tried to forget you but I just can’t. All I can think of everytime I close my eyes is your face. I know you won’t ever forgive me but I need you back

Honestly want him to have a mental breakdown on the field and apologise for making me seethe for so long

nicole's taking it up the bum from her rebound

Basically he’s the best player in test match history on flat wickets and elite in most other situations that’s about it

spent the past 6 hours trying to cope but i just cant

It's for show and you can google how many of those stupid cunts have RPI because of it. Real players player in a comfortable position
Completely disagree, you are just cutting out LBW that way. I'd get a Malinga/Mcgrath/Pollock who bowl true stump to stump and maybe get them to vary their pace/tracjectory to fuck up his timing.

If you don't have that then whatever the bowlers line, just kill his run scoring one side of the wicket.

Eg outside off with two points/gully covered and his leg side escape shots covered and get him to hit back of a length balls straight

How do I get a stalker to stop harassing me?

She knows I’m not a stalker, and she also knows I post here. If she reads this anyway the she would be the one stalking me

just close your eyes bro amd walk away

Everything said in this thread that was previously rumoured about the England >muh #1 test team for one of the briefest periods seems to have been confirmed. Watching The Edge you realise the biggest psycho really was Andy Flower - he didn't understand how to be humane to players. Bell and Finn were still terrified of him. The Bresnan story about him was hilarious.

Really sad was Monty. Instead of protecting him from the media stereotype of him (lolol he's the joker in the pack - he is just a slow punjabi from luton) the team basically did the same and he spiralled down in true sikh style - massive alcoholism.

Selecting the right captain is the most important player selection.
I really liked Monty too, and he was pretty good.

I'm pretty sure he's relatively weak against left-arm orthodox (as in he only averages 35 or so against it). England will be thinking about ditching Moeen for a proper spinner so are there any left-armers in the running? Tbh if I was captain I'd be ultra-aggressive against him when he first comes on and if he still manages to get set, just try to keep it tight from then on.

>Finn
That reminds me of another of Flower's worst traits, which was autistically trying to force players to fit the system. Trying to make Finn into a metronomic fast-medium pacer so he could 'bowl dry' completely ruined one of our most promising players.

Yeah finn was an elite strike bowler and flower ruined him really, was ranked 1 odi bowler in the world and was the fastest English bowler to various wicket milestones, then that whole no ball thing kinda fucked him over and the unselectable thing

Wasn't the no-ball thing itself Flower's fault? He didn't originally have that problem with nudging the stumps but then in 2012 it suddenly became a big issue, presumably because the coaches were fucking with his technique.

Keep doing about 3 huge poos before midday every day

t. peter jackson

why do people keep describing his style as ugly? is that your saving cope?

>it's unorthodox and not a boring stuffy pommy shit sstyle therefore ugly

he's way more entertaining to watch than any shitcunt pom lmfao

same reason people call players like Cook, Burns or Chanderpaul ugly

for me they're beautiful players (not smith though, he realy is an ugly crab)

when smith is going 100% there is no better contemporary player to watch

it's actually a marvel how good he is, how the seemingly impossible style somehow perfectly works

not to mention his eye, patience and how well he can judge length is second to none

if he continues like he has been for another ~3-4 years he will be easily top 5 batsmen of all time

>if he continues like he has been for another ~3-4 years he will be easily top 5 batsmen of all time

m8 he's already the second best

NAME 3 other players that would be ahead of him barring a monumnetal decline of performance

tendulkar
ponting
sobers

I think so. They tinkered with Finn so much he was basically ruined by that point.

Finn was basically a right handed Starc, and they tried to turn him into McGrath

i really enjoy watching Stokes and Buttler bat tbqh

Bitchstow and Burns should be gassed though

literally none of the above as a test batsman

tendulkar gets points for longevity and thats it. Smith is way more dominant at both their peaks.

ponting is better at pyjama thats it.

sobers is a better allrounder, not bat

tipping an elite draw lads

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youtu.be/FKJ1IZQZlyo
okay lads, this is based

will kane make the top 5 lads

>sobers

8000 runs average 57.8 highest score 365

He's top 3 all time for the world

Crowe
Mccullum
Williamson

>the virgin sobers
>the chad drunkards

Kane doesnt even make the top5 Australian batsmen m8

>Bradman
>Smith
>G Chappell
>Ponting
>Waugh

I'd add in another two ahead of Kane
>Trumper
>Border

When is Trumper gonna build his Waugh to protect the Border

Cringe

this indoor cricket is pretty based lads
think i've found my new favourite format

incel race rise up

*teleports across you^

my grandpa used to play golf with sobers

poocastle poof going in again

name a more odious personality (that means extremely unpleasant; repulsiveby the way mate)

>Trumper
don't like including players from that era with Bradman excluded. it was far too different

True, but he still dominated it by a significant margin.

a bloke I worked with
>went to high school with Pavlich and would open the batting and bowling with him and would be in the ruck with him in footy
>played junior tennis for Australia with Hewitt and played against Federer
>played golf with Don Bradman several times

just ridiculous

I got called a septic tank yank by Shane Warne.

Moeen is who lost England this test

Leach would have made this a different game

Must be weird to have been such a jock at school and have rubbed shoulders with greats, and then end up being an ordinary schmuck. Maybe he'd prefer for that stuff not to have happened.

Too early to say that, when he's yet to bat in the second innings and England haven't lost yet. Think there's only about a 40% chance of England losing the test desu.

i seriously hope you not proposing an all white england side

don't worry sweaty they'll bring in Archer

cheating aussies trying to bat with two bats at one time and get away with it

bane is better than pointing (bitter pill to swallow) as a captain and as a batsman

do you mean to his offside? because that used to get him out but I reckon he would just leave it now
If you tried bowling to his leg side he would just leave everything, and if you strayed onto his leg stump he would just flick it for four 10/10 times

honestly think he's one of the best captains ever for winning* a world cup with that absolute dogshit side

Steve Smith may be good but will he ever outdo Perry? He can barely even bowl

Siddle has been great what are you on about

kek

Paine is too conservative, he won't change anything unless conditions suit Starc or Hazlewood

why is starc not in the team what happened, he was the god bowler not long ago

Head, wade and sids have actually been really good so only harris for Bancroft and im liking the team a lot more than coming in

Whose winning?

Australia

There are 5 Tests in 6.5 weeks and they have to rotate the bowlers through

sprays it too much for test bowling and Siddle/ Pattinson are better suited for English tracks

Harris is a leftie though, you'll have two lefties opening the batting then a leftie at first drop

Khawaja will only ever do 15(43)'s in england anyway so it wont really matter

>two lefties
>implying warner isn't based and redpilled

He's already got 40(48) you dumb cunt? And what relevance does that have to what I've said?

If the Ashes ends in a draw England still win the urn based on number of sixes right?

aus retain if its a draw

The only thing I know about Warner outside cricket is that his wife was filmed getting porked by another man in a toilet cubicle. That's cringe and bluepilled if I'm being perfectly honest.

bedtime on the cards

didn't know about that
grim

ironic to have the nickname of "bull" when you are in fact the cuck

torrented cricket 19

where from lad

cs.rin.ru/forum/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=96958

dunno if it works yet though

thought about playing cricket 19 but I never got into the first 18 and I feel like it's a bit late to catch up on the story

>make pitches slow and lifeless to nullify the 4 horsemen meme
>use a cricket ball that dies after less than 20 overs to nullify the 4 horsemen meme
>bribe Paki umps but they forget who they are meant to be helping because subhuman brains
>Smoth comes in and singlehandedly scores 286 runs
>rest of team is lifted and start scoring runs
>Englel mentally cooked
>Lyon ready to clean up Englel on doctored pitch
I say..where to from here old chaps?

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cheers lad...ashes took like a year to crack, ended up buying it but shant be buying a reskinned ashes with a few gameplay tweaks

Will England have the balls to ever pick Anderson again?

England will be hugging the umpires right now

he's been shit for four years

his wife has an entire section on her Wikipedia page dedicated to all the men that boned her

Ever had an irish carbomb?
Half a Guiness, a shot of jameson and shot of bailys
Bretty good

Pattinson, who averaged something like 10 with the ball in county last year, got fit again
Starc can also barely swing the ball after his injury in Sri Lanka, misses half his yorkers and is essentially the new Bitchwide

for me, it's a joint and white russian

Yeah pretty glad they didn't play starc, cant see him doing much. Hes good in Australia though because he can brute force a wicket on roads because hes such a genetic freak

just beer for me thanks

elite bevvy
still the symbolism is pretty grim
tiocfaidh ár lá to my eirebros

Psilocybin and psilocin

seems like 8ch may save us lads

the normies are all going after 8ch, which apparently has its own even worse version of /pol/

Just destroy Australia and the world will be a better place

honestly lads, reckon the southern hemisphere doesn't even exist
all the antipoodean flags itt are just simulations or, worse, government agents pretending to be antipoodeans
reckon george soros is behind this all

>p-please notice us

cunt tries too hard

shan't be (you)ing glow-in-the-dark pozzies

>The Australian dollar has softened against major currencies and is hitting record lows, except for the flash crash earlier this year. And it is flat against the New Zealand dollar, which is also softening dramatically.
>The Aussie dollar is down to a decade low of 71.72 Japanese yen, and a decade low of 60.86 Euro. It has dropped 0.6 per cent against the British pound to 55.67 pence, but the pound has been weaker due to Brexit uncertainty that this level is not a record. It has dropped to a record low of 66.29 Swiss francs.

>This comes after China's yuan devalued dramatically to break the 7-yuan-per-US-dollar barrier for the first time. This is seen as a shot in the trade war between China and the US as Beijing usually intervenes if its currency is devaluing too much.

lads... its actually happening

you're not wrong

What is mate

war

It's been happening for years

say what you will about the yanks they'll be good to have in our corner when the resource wars begin

Haloooo (i’m not girl)

"When goods stop flowing across borders, soldiers start marching across borders" - David Warner

Honestly the Aussies need to let us start stationing IRBMs in the outback as a check against red china.

I often think about the time he said "A fire broke out backstage in a theatre. The clown came out to warn the public; they thought it was a joke and applauded. He repeated it; the acclaim was even greater. I think that's just how the world will come to an end: to general applause from wits who believe it's a joke."

shan't be thinking about the end of the world lads
shall be thinking about the cricket

>bane is better than pointing
jesus christ the state of zoomers these days

youre in the process of doing so lad. Also building a naval base in the north

oh good
feeling muscular and secure in my sovereignty again
shall protect you antipodeans from communism in this millennium as we did the last

I wish China officially invaded already

Watching the Chinese build military bases in the china sea on top of coral formations just beneath the surface was crazy to watch. They literally built new islands inside their neighbours sovereign territory.

and we shall continue to send our special forces in first to show you the pathway to the car juice

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Ireland shall remain in glorious neutrality.

Just don't go commie mate. Remember that if you go commie you have to be atheist. The Pope says commies are bad and atheism is bad.

That said please DO continue to BTFO protestants.

Which one of those shooters were from /pol/?

was one? i've mostly been ignoring it. shootings don't interest me.

tarrant from from 8ch pol

what's happening with that old boy?
reckon he's gotten poked yet?

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did it happen again? fucking hell

it was bait but he's not far off, although I unironically rate him as one of the best captains of any era. >we literally transformed when he took over from bmac, winning % of above 50 in tests is quite elite. world cup finalist and a player of the tournament, t20 semi finalists, number 2 in test rankings, all really impressive with our team but since we haven't won anything prestigious apart from the oye hoye, it's hard to rate him like ponting.

yeah the reputational issue for him is that he doesn't have the team a guy like Ponting had or the kind of high profile series Australia gets.

Tbh Ponting was a bit of an average captain. people always conflate batting success with being a good captain which really isn't the case. Fleming to me was the perfect captain and I don't think anyone rates him as a player.

Ponting had the good fortune of being the captain after Border & Waugh, both of whom were truly great captains. He was riding the coattails, he was also a prick and a much better man when he wasn't the captain.

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so true

true, before Fleming we really weren't much of a competitive side t bh. he was a great player but he was too much of a le 50 and out man to be considered one of the best batsmen, especially considering he followed Martin Crowe and played at the same time as some of the GOATs from every other country. that era was so stacked, we had Astle, Fleming, Vettori, McCullum, McMillan and Bond and were still minnows compared to the other sides.

>Asians zerg rushing
And no one was surprised

>no Chris Cairns
lad

peak of cricket I reckon

they don't talk about him anymore

Thinking about a full-strength Jesse Ryder

ooooh shit. match fixing didnt know that
che-
nah all good dude was a stud

a full strength sesh with Ben Stokes, Jesse Ryder and Marky V

ponting was a good captain but he was blessed with world class players for a lot of his tenure
his biggest problem was that his tactics lacked innovation and being le dry their scoring up man didn't work as much after mcgrath and warne retired

going bald lads

New Zealand posters have been very vocal about Smoth and co.
Lou Vincent and Chris Cairns didnt tamper with the ball, they tampered with the whole fucking match.
FUCK Poo Pealand you hypcrite cunts

>poocastle
grim

a full strength banh mi thit

smoth fan here but you're missing the fact that we don't make excuses for them and have disowned them
>In March 2012 Cairns successfully sued former Indian Premier League commissioner Lalit Modi for libel, after Modi posted on Twitter in 2010 that Cairns had been involved in match-fixing during 2008. He won costs and damages.[16] On 12 September 2014, the Metropolitan Police announced that they would charge Cairns with perjury stemming from the Modi libel trial.[17] He was acquitted of charges of perjury and perverting the course of justice on 30 November 2015
Vincent was a fixer so who gives a shit about him but I think cairns never actually went through with it but his name is ruined forever either way

Hmm

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...

love the delusion of all these people whose identity is footy

grim idea getting players in teams that lose more often than not to throw games

brave opinion: it was the poo league who gives a shit our lads should be able to go over there and cash out any way they see fit

i always assume these meme t20 comps like the ones in Canada and Scotland are just rigged events for some Indian bookies to make some serious dough

Controversial opinion: Use punctuation.

AFL is for fags.

Business idea Vince McMahon to run the american Smackdown vs Raw T20 league.

no

Buisness controversial: bat sheep heads

This is a post.

elite opinion: save the effort of capitalisation and punctuation for places that aren't anonymous shitposting forums

/nrl/ is up, Sydney and Brissy anons

How come spell check only gives me a weird version of the word i want or random shit but when i google the same spelling it corrects to exactly what i want every time

/punctuation/ gang.

I feel like putting a full stop onto your posts is out of the norm so now adding it is a statement in itself

Google’s ML algos are pretty good

*breathes*.

havent said a bad thing mate

Did we select them for the next test series or what?

For me, it's using proper grammar and correct spelling, as I'm civilized and know how to adult... It's sad how my idiotic generation doesn't know the difference between "your" and "you're". I suppose when you're too busy listening to "Lil Wayne" and his latest song about money and girls with "big booties" on the radio, education is an afterthought, hey?

I just completed rereading The Great Gatsby, I shouldn't have to resort to the classics of literature to feel as though I'm interacting with an intellectual peer.

Oh, George Carlin, we need you now more than ever; you don't know how right you were. Sigh... Take me back to a time in which people valued prose and thought.

*farts liquid shit all over your george carlin tshirt*

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>civilized
civilised

*exists*

Tipping the umpires to stop play due to bad light and let England get away with a draw.

>New Zealand not even playing
>Gets mad at New Zealand
kek, every fucking time

going to Bunnings. you lads want anything?

A functional opening batsman thanks

David Warner's purchase history for the last 2 months cheers

something to shut up nonce zealand

You didnt do anything to them. Cairns retired, as did Vincent, Brendan McCullum took THREE years to come forward about being approached by them to fix matches.
you are all fucking hypocrites, cope harder CHEATS :D

A reason to smile

is he the next Bradman?

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he would've been if not for the sandpaper shit that he got dragged into

who's bradman

Chuck us a snag thanks

anybody know if Coles sells those little things you attach to a chair leg to stop it from scratching a wooden floor?

yeah lad, should have a whole heap of cardboard out the back

No, but Officeworks does

siri, google for any actual admissible evidence that Chris Cairns was a cheat

Attached: newzealandmatchfixing.gif (278x299, 102K)

ask my Dad he knows all about that trivial neat freak stuff

Viv and Lara

a rug m8

Arizona law school tier argument.

imagine actually going to law school in your home state instead of the best school you can get into

I rate Border and Taylor very high as captains, not so much Waugh. He had Warne, Mcgrath, Gilly, Gillespie etc at their peaks and a stacked batting card to play with. You'd have to fuck up not to win with that lot.

Don't watch Cricket. Is that smuth bloke elite?

nice observation cheat bro

based

miniblog update: brought up cricket when i saw the doctor a few days ago. turns out he's a paki or an afghan. we talked for awhile about the WC final. he talked lots of shit about virat kohli. he also suggested i check out the local cricket scene.

He probably wants to use one of your belts as a boundary rope fatguts

Kek

i have a leather belt mate, not a rope belt
don't confuse me for someone living your poorcunt life

gottem

Smuth Cream is used to treat conditions such as Hemorrhoids m8

so this BSA claims to be a lawyer, yet seems to be on /cric/ 24/7

when i was on /cric/ all day its because I was a poothetic NEET. Seeing a possible correlation here lads

Suraj Samuel Soren
10 hours ago
Steve Smith rubbing sand paper on the asses' of the English player

>day 5
>england require another 385 runs with 10 wickets remaining

ah yes

got a classic one for you lad

Attached: kek.png (828x972, 317K)

youtube.com/watch?v=O8k8iKul8qM lads

just had a premonition of world war 3 breaking out over hong kong

at least it was a dream, because who the hell is going to fight on Hong Kong's side?

it's a Chinese civil issue/war. Why the eff would the US/EU kick off WW3 over fucking Hong Kong?

you're losing the Ashes and therefore furious at NZ, and I love it

>you're losing the Ashes
??

there's a 1(one) % chance of Englel winning today

I really hope all of you don't follow cringy american english and say 'mo-bile' as mobeel or mobul.
Remember that T is silent in 'often' and say 'route' as root.

for me it's supporting Australia and an anzac test championship final at Lord's

lot of (you)s from Poos(pealanders)
thinking youve been exposed

Based

big fan of delt exercises. gotta remember that most common delt machines and lifts primarily work the anterior or posterior delts, and the medial delts are only somewhat activated. for your best results you've gotta shred those medials.

Air NZ aussie sale on right now for 48 hours lads

yeah this guy knows what he's talking about. like if you understand the anatomy and kinesiology, he's got a good sense about and makes it easy to understand if you're a meathead

Thats an ODI score mate. EZ

poocastle poof lashing out as usual

Off to work lads. Maybe I can get a cheeky stream up on a third monitor at desk.

new set of drill bits ta

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>poocastle
grim

HASHTAG WANDERLUST

>385 with 10 wkts and a whole day
>on a complete road
based seething cazzie

Too bad they gutted this chink's role when that hippy left.

Certainly don't need a curry to tell me how to speak my own language to be perfectly honest.

>day 5
>road
hmmm yes i detect a casual

A makita dropsaw cheers, will pay you back next Thursday

yes mate, buying a ticket to the /gong/ to get some insta piccys

i think we will win

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dont even know what thats from lad. Its a joke post and a nod to an ongoing joke on cric for the last 18 months

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I'll be back tomorrow for your apology.

I've never actually watched that show but this youtube video is pretty funny even I don't know the full context of the jokes.

youtube.com/watch?v=8JTx8llpBxQ

>he’s still taking the bait
kek

KEK

K E K

haha he doesn't understand English haha classic
comedic gold wow

gottem

fuck up statscunt

wish statsy was here, at least we'd get some decent shitposting

are there any /cric/ approved animes or mangas?

Execute all weebs.

haven't heard of that one mate, is it in jump?

Execute all septics.

haven't heard of that one mate, is it by kyoani?

its by putin and xi jinping

Bit peckish

ah yes, it's the "bore sebbo with low-quality banter so that he'll fall asleep" maneuver

whats on the cards

Got some mt vic chippery. Beer battered warehou, 2 bluff oysters, fries, stuffed fried jalepeno,

Haven’t decided yet

soup makes an excellent meal.

Soup isn't a meal mate

pretty reddit in here rn

soup is basically a primitive form of diet shake
some nutrition, but mostly water so it's more filling without requiring expensive ingredients
so if you're hungry for no reason, soup may be the right option

whats on the cards

how do you know

hate myself and want to die lads

do a flip

is k-pop even good? dont think ive heard a good kpop song. anyone heard any good ones?

Good idea. Creamy chicken and corn soup on the cards.

gangnam style, is that Kpop?
legit banger.

ME LIKEY LIKEY LIKEY

don't tell /cric/ you had soup for dinner, you'll trigger the weirdos

>corn soup
cringe

Seb, you fat lad. I ask: why do you stay?

Gotcha ;)

someone has to be competing voices of law and chaos in your otherwise dull, dreary, uninformed lives

/nrl/ is up fellas

quietly hoping Tucson taco bell gets shot up next and Slobbo cops it

True, this is a bit of a classic. Used to get posted here often

>At home chilling and I think I want some tendies
>Mommy go to the store hurry get them quickly
>Good boy points - no need for cash
>Doing chores around the house - always a blast
>Got my good boy points, that's all I need in my life
>If I got them everything is all right
\o/

>has never seen a cricket pitch IRL
>has no team to support
>weighs 500kg
>dropped out of law school
>posts on /cric/ 16 hours a day
>is only alive because he's too fat to fit out of the door so he won't get shot at the local Walmart
The grim life of an americunt

>dropped out of law school
graduated on time and sat for the bar, no idea what you're talking about bla

>i-i swear i passed law school! please believe me big strong kiwi!!!!
KEK

WORLD WAR POO - PANIC IN THE LOO

Attached: file.png (961x340, 67K)

these things seem too ridiculous to believe and yet here we are

>doesn't deny any of the other points
KEK

imagine the stench if they nuked each other

kashmirbro you here lad ;_;

So this game is over. either Australia wins or it gets rained out for a draw, fair assessment?

oi richo you here lad

he's quite possibly dead already.

the incel pedo richo

what's the WASP saying lads?

Probably at rape practice with his mates zachy and blubbo

says "bzzzzzzzzzzzz"

the Grim Three
the Three Nonceketeers

>kiwi nonce
>calling anyone a nonce

*be’s dropping them croutons*

>cloudflare pulls protection
8chl finna get reamed lads

got chest pain lads

awfully congested lads

oh baby i can't wait
wonder if they're gonna drop kiwifarms too

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Hmmmmmmmm

*gains weight*

Sneed Smith

sick of lasagne now lads.

Feel a bit sad lads.

chin up mate

empathising with this post

Magic mushrooms lad

life isn't long enough for that lad

David Warner please focus on the match today.

Feed your Sneeds

do a flip faggot

BASED modi and shah removed article 370 lads. Didn't think they'd do it but they did absolute MADLADS

Schism

kys

haven't seen this post in a while

My mum could've told you that

>poocastle
grim

Now on Spotify

Are you that goan?

listening to Tool on Spotify on my wireless Bose QC35 IIs lads.

In Rainbows > A Moon Shaped Pool > The King of Limbs > Kid A > Okay Computer > Hail to the Thief > Amnesiac > the rest of their albums

Are you me?

>Goan
I'm not the degenerate Christian

Yes.

where's the Bends you meataxe

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You must be 18 to post on this website.

oi sebbo fresh bread la

new thread when fags?

In the aeroplane over the sea > all that shit

Yea Forums is usually wrong.

BASED me. Just be yourself.

Kid A = OK Computer > Amnesiac > The Bends > In Rainbows

whats the weather situation at edgebasttion lads?

new
you're welcome

NEW

*draw looms*

Well this is awkward.

new:

who are we going with lads

Posted first. This be the thread lads.

Schism

First one

I'll let the peewee thread go ahead, though I don't appreciate his cheat joke

big yikes

need another /cric/

fucking based.

Amensiac is the best though