/heem/ - Jon is the GOAT edition

GSP lost multiple times
Jon used roids against Pride hasbeens
Fedor only fought in Japan
DJ got destroyed multiple times in his prime
the real goat, was, is, and always has been Ricks Son

Love this picture. Heem is going to have a meltdown when Tony's own mug is added to this pic after the Khabib fight.

>Jones DC 3 and we know how that ends
Yeah, it ends with USADAd Jones getting KTFO at HW. USADAd Portajon Jones couldn't even beat a one-legged MW.

>Implying

You mad bro lololol

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*Interim Champ Shit

old belt best belt

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Nah B, Ricks son used roids and primarily fought chinese people. The actual goat is that chinese guy in Rizin

> Mr President

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Anyone else root for people their height? I'm 6ft and love rooting for Fedor who is a manlet at heavyweight, and Nate who is a lanklet at lightweight

I just don't think anyone can beat khabibi

as we know from knowledge he already lost to tibau

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Why is boxing + bjj the chad combo?
Wrestleniggers don't (You) me.

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Muay Thai and bjj >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Boxing and bjj

Khabib is undefeated.

I don't root for manlets.

seeing DC demolish taller HW's is great.

anyone else just under six feet? I'm like a quarter of an inch short and I'm thinking about getting the surgery where they shatter your bones to make you taller

Tyron "Black David" Woodley

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I am 5'10" 300lbs, really love to see my guy khabib tear shit up

Legit question. Was Edmond the GOAT?

youtube.com/watch?v=iXuE6ceB8Is&feature=youtu.be

Who's the best fighter at 155 that Max can beat?

It's OVER for boxercells

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For me it's Aspen Brapp

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youtube.com/watch?v=hCmKr1vg3Pc

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I know Lewis isn't anything special, but he even had a 6.5" reach advantage against DC. But couldn't handle his stuff his ground game.

If you want to go by the ufc rankings then Cowboy or at the very least Iaquinta. He did beat Pettis before, but Pettis was flushed by the weight cut.

McGregor in a five rounder

How to be good at MMA
>have cardio
>be able to jab
Oh wow cool sport bro just bleed xD

more like aspen mass

/out/spen ladd is a peast of a beach my man

That's for pillow fencing

I'm 5ft 11.5 and don't mind, no one notices that shit

Edmond was the Greatest Of Armenian Taxfrauds

Would DC be the middle weight GOAT if he got liposuction?

>kicking ever
How gay are you to want to touch another man with your foot like that

Reminder that Colby will knock Marty on his ass and choke him to death

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*single legs you*
*submits you instantly with an americana from mount*

nothing personal kid

I'd wager that he's got quite a hog on him

Based retards like you will keep the odds close for people to make money better Usman.

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This + wrestling is unironically true.
It was actually saddening to me watching colby pump his jab out ten times in a row and lawler totally unable to do anything about it.

t. picked robbie rda and maia

this thread has been blessed by Aspen Ladd's perfectly formed bowel movement

It's entirely possible b. What if he were to beat Stipe, get lipo, win the MW champ, and become the first three division champ? Would he be the undisputed goat?

*punks your whole team*

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Based. Imagine the smell of her braps and logs

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*low kicks you until you limp*
*teeps you*
*kicks you in the head*

nothing personal kid

Stipe or DC?

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Lawler is flushed and was never known for his fight iq.

That's why Robbie and Frankie both got demolished. They just didn't kick enough.

I’ll wait until HoodieChad releases a statement before saying anything

Hunt v Struve was great, HW manlets are entertaining.

>get in street fight with some asshole
>throw front snap kick to the body but he steps in and takes it in the groin
>as he drops his hands and hunches over on instinct shadow real him with a knee

should one feel bad if this happens? the dumb ass walked into it.

The one that isn't a morbidly obese manlet

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You faggots better watch your fucking mouth around me. I'm a strong mother fucker and if you disrespect me I will fucking heem you into a ten month coma.

Stipe wins the rematch

Naw, in a street fight there aren't any refs to save you so nut kicks and eye pokes are high iq moves.

unironically this particularly in the Frankie fight

Why are you getting into street fights?

And no, If you're getting into a brawl then don't feel bad about "muh bushido", Herb Dean isn't there to take a point away from you, open with a kick in the balls and knee to the face when he's bent over.

you braplets are a bunch of faggots who are sick in the head.

In a street fight you should ALWAYS look for the judo throw insta-kill

>he doesnt take perfect dumps

sucks to be you bro

seek help.

Did you just call me a fuggin braplet? I'll heem you via eyepokes.

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*scrambles*
*takes your back*

Imagine being on heem and not thinking braps are based

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You have to hide it with jabs or something, don't want to telegraph it and get Askren'd

that’s the actual meaning of “brap”?

Why wasn't Mike Brown in Colby's corner a usual?

It means whatever you want it to friend

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is he still training Jorge? I don't know if they want to use the same coach anymore if they might fight in the future.

>Wake up Khabib it's all over

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Come on pal you know how this works
>punch a wrestler
>kick a puncher
>wrestle a kicker
Catch teep and double leg ezpz
Kicking is a waste of time

>Israel finna beat Bobby Knuckles
>Ngannou finna win the belt back in his next fight
>We finna boutta gonna have 3/8 champs be AFRIKAN

How we stop it lads

>I'm 6ft

*places balls on top of your head*

How's the weather don there, little man?

he's got pillow fists and whittaker is a beast.

You can still effectively low kick wrestlers. Aldo kicked the shit out of wrestlers

>tfw only guys my height are TJ and Frankie Edgar
cut my life into pieces

*ducks nate*

god i wanna lick her armpits

You forgot that Kennedy
Nzechukwu is going to end the Jones meme

hahahahahhahahahahahah

baka desu senpai

>*Punches you in the balls so you bend over*
>*Plum clinches you and forces your head down on to my balls*
Get on my level, heh, nothin personell lanklet

Is 6'2 the perfect height?

>"you need to lose de usmen fieght"
>"but sir..."
>"do not get oot of line cobe"

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God he is so fucking sexy

>pillow fists
Meme

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Fuck Usman and fuck immigrants

7'3'' or kys desu

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It's entirely possible b.

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Barão please retire, you used to be great.

Is Wonderboy capable of winning the strap?

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Greg Hardy will heem Ngannou and make everyone seethe when they realize heavyweight is a meme division.

Robert Whittaker is the worst champion in UFC history

no he's godawful

Fuck Colby and fuck Israel

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Based

>colby releases next pornstar callout video
>he's getting blacked
wat do?

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Is this look achievable natty?

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based

fighters desperately trying to recapture their youth?
instagram.com/joannajedrzejczyk/

Whittaker heems pillowfisted Genderbender
Based Colby BTFOs Usman, libs, and other smelly immigrant scum
Ngannou gets mentally broken again by Stipe and ultimately flushed by the based Prince of War, Greg Hardy

Kangz are a meme and will be BTFO of the UFC

ngannou already proved the division is a meme

Esparza, Dave Menne, Sherk, Syliva, Serra, Forrest, Montano, GDR

There have been terrible champions. Shittaker isn't even the worst current champ.

Chris Weidman has met with troops before they deployed many of time, but he doesn't virtue signal about it like a faggot. Colby constantly virtue signals when he does it because he's a faggot.

you've been worked bud

so did black beast training 30 minutes a day
and brock lesnar before him

Literally nobody likes or cares about Usman kek. Most boring “champion” in history.

are you allowed to just fucking squeeze these meatbags mid-fight? Just fucking wail on em till they turn black and blue and drop off, kick one of em into the stands

who’s she?

no actually

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Whittaker is a worse fighter than Matt Serra

GDR is based she turned down a guaranteed 6 figures and told Cyborg to fuck off. Then she memed on Holly and Aspen and now she wins the rematch with Amanda Poones.

carlos condit beat the shit out of a green beret in a tent on a mountain in afghanistan

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cat shitgano edited in microsoft paint

>Highest IQ way to win a fight?

For me? It's a ring-out.

based

Now that is based. Colby should be an actual heel and start beating up troops.

No because tiddys are basically girl nuts

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The way Matt Hamill beat Jon Jones

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>waifuing scat shitguano

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fucking faggot

gdr was scared she didn't want to get taken down and beaten up by a woman roided and cutting to the max. poones vs gdr kickboxing would be OK to watch for free

All his fights are great.

>waits until last 10 seconds of the round to throw 1 low kick

Faber doesn't count he's a can

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Would do scat with cat

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Why doesn't every fighter just throw a flying knee when a wrestler shoots on them?

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Which fighter has the best combined score in BJJ and wrestling?

Whittaker defensively

Unironically jump knees are safer in the clinch than regular knees, because the leg is bent at a lower angle than a high knee so it's harder to catch and hold.

flying knees are also something you are not able to do in most clinch situations

because good fighters disguise their shots

>carlos condit beat the shit out of a green beret in a tent on a mountain in afghanistan

For what purpose did someone pissed him off.

> defensively

Is there anything more boring than someone who is known for good sub defense?

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I don't mean flying through the air like masvidal, I mean throwing the knee with a hop
e.g. first five seconds of this vid
youtube.com/watch?v=PQshO0tqBqU

honestly would have lost to Artem if they had the same reach.

legend has it carlos agreed to a spar, guy asks "how hard you wanna go?" carlos says "you set the pace I'll match" guy whams carlos, carlos heems him
youtube.com/watch?v=myxhzSqbvxA

youtu.be/31-uOsBYdw0

Condit got sucker punched by some crayon eating pog when they were sparring so he starting fucking the guy up bad and heemed him with a headkick

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cringe

The dude wanted to fight Condit and Condit said he'd go as hard as he did and the troop hit Condit with a pretty hard clean shot and then Condit ended up knocking him down with a head kick. The video is on YouTube.

Joanna wins the re-rematch

I want to DM Megan

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Video when?

what if this week's main event is 5 rounds of her and her sister yelling

she's going to flush herself cutting to 115

It's great fun.

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>crayon eating pog
lmao

Is there any MMA fighter that could beat Ngannou in a boxing match?

Cejudo

Are you memeing? Stipe, obviously

not with that chin. he needed the wrestling.

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Stipe had to mix in his wrestling to beat Ngannou

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>gets knocked once with a clean hook by that he didn't see coming delivered by a hard hitter

>now idiots on Yea Forums call him chinny

poor, illiterate punch-drunk fire fighter

Lewis.

I only found the video for you because I luh you heembro.
youtu.be/A7Uqu5bipcM
Here's a bonus vid of Bisping making the incident sound cooler than it was
youtu.be/6DnJdFlW6Ug

Has there ever been a hotter poster?

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ngannou is a stupid nigger

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>Tate
Is her biological father's last name Schmidt? Also why isn't her last name Nunez now?

Yes your point is good but people always gave him shit for getting knocked out by Struve and Reem also dropped him

disagree

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Outside the cage, Colby Covington has given himself a very easy job: He’s an MMA fighter who wants to be disliked by MMA fans. That shouldn’t be so tough, right? If there’s one thing we know how to do in this sport, it’s get our hate on. It’s one of our greatest talents. Most times, you don’t even need to do anything special. Just show up and be yourself. We’ll handle the rest.

So when Covington shows up with his crewcut and his Dennis the Menace smirk, calling us nerds and virgins and mashing all our buttons at once like an unsupervised brat in a hotel elevator, he’s all but guaranteed to get the response he wants.

The fact that he executes such a familiar and not terribly difficult gimmick so awkwardly only magnifies the overall effect. Now we hate him for being so hatable but we also hate him for being so bad at it. Then we remember that by hating him at all we’re only playing into his hands, which makes us hate him even more.

Again, this is the easy part. The hard part is everything else.

The thing about villains is that we only care about them when they’re good enough at what they do to present an urgent problem. A hero can be an ill-equipped underdog and it’s fine — up to a point. But the bad guy has to be powerful and dangerous. He has to do some serious winning in order to be worth vanquishing.

It’s simple enough to make us hate you so much that we want to see you get beaten up. But avoiding that beating when you’re surrounded by professional tough guys who are being paid to administer it is the real trick. That takes skill and talent and toughness, all of which Covington possesses.

Take Covington’s fight with Robbie Lawler at UFC on ESPN 5, for instance. Even in his advancing years, Lawler is a perfectly cast angel of vengeance.

based condit further CTEing the already brain-damaged and PTSD'd welfare queens

I was going to ask what's happened with him but apparently he still hasn't been found, he did a bad thing but I hope he's okay.

Rewatched that match just the other day, has anyone else been able to pile on pressure quite like this?

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good stoppage

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colby did that to robbie at one point. not as much as stipe did tho.

Oh for sure Stipe has a peach of a chin my guy. For sure don't get knocked down by Econoreem.

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>inb4 Covington

Cain against JDS

How would the HW division look if that uppercut connected flush
>No Ngannou v Lewis
>DC doesn't move up
>Ngannou/Blaydes 2 next for the title

too late

Based

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The way Stipe has been talking, I'm convinced that he hasn't learned from his first fight with DC and he'll just get KO'd in the first again from the same clinching exchange. Bet big money on it.

because german and spanish names sound stupid

suck my fat cock and balls

I was just sitting here pondering what things would look like if the Zingano-Rousey and Masvidal-Askren knees were reversed

What if Nunes viscously heemed you, pinned you down and made you inpregnate Nina? That would be pretty funny I think haha just as a joke though haha.

i clearly felt a tap

I would not be apposed to spreading my seed to Nina tbqh

you know he lost this one by eyepoke as well

>on a 7 fight win streak wins a unanimous victory over Romero with a BROKEN KNEE to secure the title
>nearly fucking DIES before his next fight
>Romero then MISSES WEIGHT and HEEMS Rockhold in brutal fashion
>accepts rematch against Romero, even after he MISSES WEIGHT AGAIN
>risks legacy, legitimacy, health like a warrior and faces a fucking LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT
>goes on to technically outclass Romero, gets fucking ROCKED, BREAKS HIS HAND, and STILL THROWS SAVAGE ELBOWS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORM ON THE BRINK OF THE VOID
>realistically manages to secure a draw in one of the most valiant displays of heart ever seen in the UFC
>Bobby is a fucking CHAMPION fighter with a CHAMPION heart and if you disagree you can go and GET FUCKED.

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Name one person in the history of the UFC as fun to watch on the ground as Fedor was

Robert Redditker

ryan hall

>DC is just one fight from successfully memeing himself as the natty GOAT

Romero is a hack he just stands and does nothing, waits until the third round to throw power punches, quickly gasses, then tries again in the fifth. If he connects, he probably wins, but he has garbage fight IQ so he doesn't get TKO's when he should. Adesanya will be a much better test of skill for Whittaker

>hasn't beaten a single elite striker

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has everyone decided GSP roids because of his gut?

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Tim Elliott

Askren

Amanda would more likely pegged you until you bust a nut inside Nina.

>dips out right when USADA comes into the picture
curious. very, curious.

The Based and Redpilled answer

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stop faggots I pop a bonner

Will she successfully defend her belt?

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who is this little boy

in many ways whittaker won the fights and romero won the war

rob's health will never be the same

Some skronk cutie

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zhang heems her with some meme shit

I want my dick in that butt

Based

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subhuman

her pussy is probably untouched and you want her shithole

its probably clean bro

kek

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he gives all manlets hope

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It's suppose to imitate the sound of a fart, my bean loving friend.

actually it's joe

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I bet her asshole smells nasty

>dating a femlet
nah he's still a beta

Imagine being him, you could just fucking spit on random lessers and the would just laugh it off

How could you ever call our queen that

Nothing wrong with short girls
But tall girls are based

Who's going to the Anaheim card?

>nothing wrong with short girls
>raising the chances your kid will be a manlet as well

Damn there are about to be 4 championship cards in a row

Yum I'd like to take a wiff

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when will we find out the 240 ppv buys

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Do you think Paulo "KING" Costa will permaflush Yoelito "SOLDADO DE DIOS" Romero?

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post flushed fighters

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Should be by the end of the week, usually it's about that long

I don't remember asking you for your opinion, chump

Costa does the same shit as Romero so who knows

It was probably like a 100 buys

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He's only lost the story of a fight once in his career, how is he flushed?

Poel will finally look his age against Costa

Costa heems him 2nd round, hunnert persent

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Opinion discarded. Paulo rains power punches high and low he eviscerates his opponents through technique and sex appeal. His leg kicks are just the cherry on top of a well rounded ground game mixed with phenomenal striking.

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*Dies*

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No he does the same "I'm losing the fight so I can win the fight" bullshit. Very low quality wins as well

I wouldn't say he's flushed just yet. Definitely on the cusp.

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Costa unironically has legit hands. I like watching him work the body like a boxer by pressuring his opponents against the cage to simulate death.

Askren won the post-story with the Ariel interviews

I felt sad watching Chris vs Souza. Chris was winning the whole fight, but the whole fight it felt like it was only a matter of time until he got heemed.

he made a late comeback, but no, still lost the story.

Andre Fili is super underratedl

How many runs at the strap does Penn have left?

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I don't like the way you're talking about Paulo "KING OF THE RING" Costa. He's going to prove once again to the doubters that he's the only one worthy of UFC gold.
August 17 everyone will know how good Paulo's hands are.. once the boogeyman Yoelando "Soldier of God" Romerito succumbs to the pressure everyone will know.. everyone will know..

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At least 5 if he beats Lentz

10 more if he loses

Based Penn is doing it for NOBODY but us, the fans, at this point.

Lentz will smash BJ easily

Why didnt they take this opportunity to do Penn vs CM Punk

he will get back on track and heem poominick reyshit, i stake my reputation on it

i want to go back

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I could definitely see him beating Poominick. That's a good first fight at LHW. A lot better fight than the one Puke picked against Jan. At least Puke became champ of his own world as a result.

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>once
he lost the story the moment he spent a full season attacking based roided snake only to get HEEM'd twice by him

Idk about that

The guy he's fighting beat OSP and Cannonier

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*ponders*

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Is anyone unflushable? Can't think of any except Nurm

USADA'd can

A heavyweight with a big punch is mostly unflushable. Even if their chin gets deleted, they can still go luck-swing mode and win fights occasionally.

CM Punk would kill BJ.

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He didn't look good against Oezdemir and Cannonier has a losing record at LHW. He looked pretty good against OSP and that was on 229, which is why he started to get a lot of hype behind him.

>so flushed you're unflushable

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kek was this on purpose

david robinson would flush every fighter in history with 6 months muay thai training

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do you guys like Penningtons on your pizza?

Patrick Ewing would heem him stiff

>Big muscles mean good fighter
Bob Sapp was the goat fer ser b. Don't even get me started on the 7ft 4 time K1 champ Semmy Schilt who goat wrestlefucked by Fedor.

/wilt/

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Got* but you get the idea

>Gangly dweeb with twig legs defending a blast double from prime Cain or Lesnar
Yeah nah bee

Bader: 12-0 (bellator double champ)

Rashad: 17-1 (former LHW champ)

Shogun: 19-4 (29 years old, LHW champ at the time, should've be 20-3)

Machida: 17-2 (former LHW champ)

DC1: 15-0

DC2: 19-1 (UFC Double Champ)

Gus1: 15-1

Gus2: 18-4

Glover:22-2 (20 fight winstreak)

TRT vitor, Rampage, Bonnar, Vera (current ONE HW champ)

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>fell for the brown pride meme
the admiral would flush him quicker than ngannou did

3 weeks strike training is all he needs

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/heem/ seethes

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>44 inch vertical jump
he would headkick someone out of the cage

*flying knee

>instagram.com/p/B0w0ghAjDpJ/
serra heems prime gsp

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nba players doing mma would mean a lot of time hugging against the cage as always

Maybe something like the Karate Combat ruleset: Fight in a pit, and you have a limited time of 5 seconds of ground fighting before the refs stands you up

youtube.com/watch?v=8ic2k2P_FG0

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>Cries for a foul everytime he's touched
Fer ser he's a fighter b

Yeah, darker the better

Will there ever be a trash talker as talented as Chael?

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Why did I waste my youth god fucking damn it

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Don't give me these type of feels tonight, not on /heem/.

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he would be KO'd by Timothy Johnson

Shut up Coral you aren't old enough to have regrets

its true Coral, at least you got that goin for you

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dc of course

Thanks bros for trying to cheer me up, I love this place.

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look at brock

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hey coral do you have same type of facial hair as schub

>should one feel bad if this happens?
Yes.
You are a grown man in the USA having a fucking street fight.
Why?
Are you an alcoholic or drug addict?
Are you homeless and were protecting your shopping cart?
What reason can you have for getting into a streetfight.

Streetfights are always just one bad fall (head hits ground or curb) from someone going to fucking prison.

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Takes me forever to grow facial hair so I just keep a clean shave.

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absolute meat mountain

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thoughts on dana cutting cyborg?

Not including leg of Pedro Rizzo, hardest kicker ever. Shame.

>wmma
don't care, wouldn't care if they cut nunes or shevchenko either

Nunes is ducking the rematch and she begged Dana to cut Cyborg

>Calls the cops over a boomerang
kek good one

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She was an ugly roider, wmma is WGAF, Dana is always right.

Did you guys hear the 'expose' video that cyborg came out with last week was a faked?

The 145 BrapHawg era starts now

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easily improved the women divsion, god i hated seeing that roided tranny

I want to impregnate her but that chin bros

coral would do it tho

actual slander

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>Colby is not a good striker, he won't be able to hang with Robbie on the feet

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> robbie seemed off
> Usman seemed off
> *the next 10 guys Colby faces* seemed off

Yo why tf this nigga tongue grey?

UFC is rigged

Robbie is going to trick him by not throwing any punches; Colby won't know what to do.

What advantages does Colby have over Usman?

>Talks shit about Brazil
>Werdum confronts him over shit talk
>"It's just a act bro"
>Takes a boomerang to the face
>Runs from Werdum and calls the cops
BASED

more marketable
see:

He doesn't brush his tongue

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Spencer ended up being tough as hell, good test for the Kayla Harrison meme if it ever makes its way into the UFC

He hasn't actually cut her yet.

He looks like one of those fish that latch on to the big sharks and eat their leftover scraps after the shark gets done eating a school of fish.

Was not outstruck by Emil Meek.

Post your finest WMMA brappers!

Wmma is garbage

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Colby made the mistake of trying to make himself a heel because it was working for Conor back then.
Difference is Conor was funny and knew his lines. Conor was a good entertainer.
Colby is not.
He should have taken on a different character.
He doesn't have the trash talk of Chael or Conor, he isn't a fuck up like JJ.
He's just a guy.
He should have gone the GSP route - just be yourself, respect people, ad prove yourself in the ring.
As it is he comes off as pretty cringe, with trash talk no one believes.
Who's buying merch from a guy like that?

more Baby King pls

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the UFC should put out a nice coffee table book with graphic photos of every wmma fighters asshole

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>N-no Mr. Werdum, I won't say anything else about Brazil. Put the boomerang down! Please! Just le-
>*boomerang hits*
>HELP! POLICE! I NEED AN ADULT!!! H-HELP ME TRUMP!

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BRAP

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well he did uploaded a video on the ufc channel calling her a roided freak

Yeah he forgets to be funny or clever. It really is cringe especially him walking out to wwmeme music his last fight. But since he uses words he sees on pol and heem he gets a couple cazzie fans. He's not even close to being a drawl though.

Colby is better at tweeting and that's about it

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christ

That actually happened you cazzie

dont worry, robbie is gonna destroy him

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mmm, yes pls
she a cute

BRAP^2

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Imagine the smell

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Obligatory

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Just ate my 5th P3 Protein pack. Can you OD on protein, is this even legal? I feel a rumblin' in my stomach

what is this expression trying to convey lad'erino cappuccino's

>she's too close

Cat's Braps

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r8 your farts

usada would heem 99% of non-combat athletes into next week

No woman will ever adore you like this.

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fuckin reeks like cat food flavoured fart popsicles

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Imagine Honda's farts

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I wonder if it's possible to be so embarrassing to watch that people actively avoid your fights just to spare themselves the pain.

rondas abhorrent gamer gurl farts circa 2004

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fat cow

That's not a very kind thing to say about a woman.

this is the worst post in heem history

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Society should pull the plug on wmma

you wish bitch dont mke me come to edmonton fuck you up fuckin hindu

BRAP

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society should pull the plug on w

ok you might be on to something here bro

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what am I looking at here

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The good fights are fine, they have too many shitters like in most of the other divisions

Studies show that excess protein consumption can lead to kidney disease, as well as kidney stones, which can be incredibly painful.
Excessive protein intake can also cause dry mouth, constipation, and hair loss.

People who have disorders where protein cannot be properly metabolized can become very ill or die, as the incompletely processed protein metabolites can build up to toxic levels in the body.

fuck karate hottie, marry val, kill karolina

two men, both with a wish to live in a world without women, meet on an MMA board and spark up a romance that no woman could dream of.
nttawwt

Marry karolina, fuck karate mommy, kill val

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>Marry karolina

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Cute brapper

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>that stupid bitch lady law trying to arrest someone for disrespecting her
should have heemed that cunt

Shev/Luque = Free moniez

Future 145 champ Big Mac

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ewww yucky

hahah dumps just smearing on those cheeks every damn day fuckin stupid

>pulls out cuffs
>YOU WANNA GO TO JAIL in the most non threatening voice imaginable
my pee pee

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actually kind of gross

haha that guy was trolling them

quality content on Yea Forums these days

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BRAP

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stay there

this is peak /heem/

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Reminder that p4p is a meme

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>haha le braps xP
>imagine le smell XD
For sure he ruins heem with his presence

epic fart memes, gets better and better over the years xD

hank hill ass

but she's somehow still extremely alluring

Mass shootings? How bout ass shootings? I’ll shoot a load on any beast of a peach put in front of me.

on or in???

lol that place's whole gimmick is that they yell at everybody. If you ever go there leave a tip & ask for a chocolate milkshake

SHOOP

I'm never going to go to Chicago so can you tell me what happens?

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What is the worst individual performance in UFC history? In recent memory, Ortega against Max was absolutely baffling, he had no gameplan whatsoever. Rener was absolutely delusional to think Ortega could stand with Max.

Whichever you prefer. I’m a creampie and bukakke guy, but I’ll diversify my squirts if the situation calls for it.

Think about it

thats hot my guy

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Robbie Lawler v Covington
Woodley v Usman
Smith v Jones
Juan Adams vs Greg Hardy
The kid who Cowboy beat vs Trinaldo

cejudo vs tj
ronda vs nunes
silva vs gorilla cannioner

Askren vs Masvidal

Retard

Omg Coral why didn't you tell me Schaub is having another son!? We talmbout Tugger 2.0 my guy! Hopefully this one is seizure-free though.

instagram.com/p/B0CSW5BAytn/

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Just tell girls you're six foot. They wont notice.

I would tell people the truth just to filter out the people who gaf.

Has wonderboy ever been wrestlefucked ?

Your week will start terrible unless you type Thank you mommy Ladd for the breakfast

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Your cursed post will backfire unless you post 20 more mommy ladds.

>Thinking GSP didn't roid himself into developing crohns

Luke Rockhold looks Australian, not American.

Not really. English Maybe.

yo is that mommy ladds box

lol wtf

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youtu.be/TAqZb52sgpU

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Karyn Bryant and Kenny Florian reveal the results of the 23andMe DNA test,

youtube.com/watch?v=wG4Tv6KNnP0

how would woodley vs robbie lawler play out?

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Cerrone

Gets flushed quite a bit but never actually seems to go down.

Mummy Ladd is unironically cuter, more feminine and more beautiful than her hog of a daughter.

Cerrone flushes himself whenever he gets nervous.

what happened to her husband and Aspens father?

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Does Jones understand it isn't specifically the amount found but the substance itself that had people concerned?

dude, stop being ridiculous, you can breath near t-bol and pop for it forever that ain't no ones fault happens all the time

>the absolute state of bong hours on /heem/

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what

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Karyn Bryant is 59.5% white.

the fuck

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>Maybe if I recite scientific fact as if it were blasphemous, th-then it won't be fact anymore!!!

happened

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found the black felon

Lol he look like bigg rigg there

In what way was his performance better than 6 seconds fucktard?

calibre of opponent, my guy

>Feeble-brained "wh*Toid" can't comprehend rudimentary biochemistry
Jon will still be the GOAT no matter how hard you seethe

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Luke Rockhold vs The Chris is the fight to make at 205.

fuck Val
Marry Karolina
Kill karate hottie with karate

Jones is a cutbabby lanklet who won't fight guys his size

>karate hottie
>wrestlefucks people

>netto bjj
>knocks people out

Any more like this?

keep praising at the altar of UFC damage control, there have only been three studies done on turinabol use and the longest one lasted 2 months.

Or maybe the fact that those fights were released on VHS.

If he wanted to fight guys his size (6'4") he would go to middleweight.

>dude, stop being ridiculous, you can breath near t-bol and pop for it forever that ain't no ones fault happens all the time
Curious how it only "happens all the time" to one person, who has a criminal record for buying and using illegal drugs, and whos brothers are the only retards dumb enough to get caught for steroid use by the NFL. THEY LITERALLY TELL YOU IN ADVANCE WHAT DATE THEY'LL CHECK YOU ON.

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I doubt he's put any thought into it

He wasn't out

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Ok, so tell me which is more likely
>One huge cover up/conspiracy that would shatter every bit of credibility of USADA, involving hundreds, maybe thousands of UFC/USADA employees to protect the interests of one athlete in a relatively small sport, who already has a ruined reputation to begin with
or
>New advances in a very small scientific field that hasn't been researched much

FMK

Dare I say it? Early stoppage.

Conspiracies happen all the time and espn needed the money. We just found out USADA doesn't normally test EPO. They have bent over backwards for Jon on multiple occasions. Jon Jones is the ONLY person to ever experience this. Jon pulses leading up to his fights but not between camps.

I don't mean him winning, I mean him TRYING. At least going for it. He was so limp and impotent last fight. I would unironically do better offensively than he did.

such a cheeky monkey

>Conspiracies happen all the time

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I mean, I hope they do. Imagine if your elites didn't gather to discuss how to run the place. That would be horrible and amateurish. I hope they have plans and discuss them among each other.

its pretty sad that your entire argument hinges on the integrity of a company.

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>They have bent over backwards for Jon on multiple occasions.
When?
>Jon Jones is the ONLY person to ever experience this
Same thing happened with Mir in 2016
>Jon pulses leading up to his fights but not between camps.
What do you mean in between camps? Ever since this whole controversy began in December, Jones has been fighting consistently. The period "in between camps" for him has been like two weeks as of recent.

Saying Jon has not received preferential treatment in the past is just being obtuse. Mir wasn't even the same substance and they booted his ass, not exactly a good point. I see you agree he pulses leading up to his fights.

>Saying Jon has not received preferential treatment in the past is just being obtuse.
Well then it should be easy for you to find proof
>Mir wasn't even the same substance
Yeah it was
>I see you agree he pulses leading up to his fights.
Uh yeah, that's what I've been arguing for during this entire discussion

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>can't list strong examples of preferential treatment
>doesn't know that the exact same thing happened to Mir in 2016
.... why even bother?

As for the original argument - - I'm sure Jones knows what steroids are - question answered, /thread.

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Mir's situation shatters your argument that he doesn't receive preferential treatment, dip

loureda

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Mir didn't even fight the case.

I never said Jones doesn't receive preferential treatment ever. Just that it hasn't happened prior to the initial pulsing in December 2018.
>Saying Jon has not received preferential treatment in the past is just being obtuse.
>in the past
Come on buddy, you're better than this.

you seem really bothered, Jon is dirty and has been

>dude ur mad bro xD
I'll take that as a concession

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If Mir had had USADA invent a dick pill mythology for him, maybe he would have felt confident fighting the case.

you did seem mad. And I meant the dick pill situation

My heart is beating really fast and my hands are shaking and I don't know why. Hopefully it's just the caffeine from my coffee lol.

I have no idea what makes Frank Mir feel confident.

>What I m-m-meant to say w-was...
That's a cute little trick but unfortunately you've already conceded the argument. Better luck next time champ.

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nigga you relaxing in cope-a-cabana

>In the spring of 2016, when USADA representatives sat in my Las Vegas kitchen and told me that the turinabol metabolite that they said I tested positive for could only have been ingested within a window of the past several months, I vehemently proclaimed my innocence. Having never failed any drug test throughout my career, I asked if we could go back further in the past to test any supplements that I could’ve taken, but they claimed that was both impossible and unnecessary.
>They were firm on their assertion that there was only a recent period of several months that would warrant any consideration. Now, little more than two years later, Jon Jones has tested positive for the same trace of the same banned substance, and USADA is taking the position that this same low level is in fact not a new ingestion, but something that could be the result of a residual “pulsing” effect that could potentially stay in his system “forever”. Further, they are now claiming that this phenomenon is something that they are seeing in other cases as well.
>This latest shift in USADA’s position would seem to suggest one of two possibilities…Either they are a) offering special dispensation to Jon Jones or b) they are second guessing and subsequently “revising” the presentation of their own science. Either scenario leaves myself and a number of other fighters whose careers have been similarly damaged by past testing claims to wonder what this says about USADA’s consistency and their tests’ reliability. Sadly, my accusation came at a time when the UFC’s partnership with USADA had not yet been subjected to the kind of doubt that now seems to further cloud it with each new instance of convoluted circumstances.

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...

Guns.

GOD
JUST
IMAGINE

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Jose Aldo vs Alexander Volcanovski

last