/cric/ - Ashes day 3

is this proxy paige?

reckon Warney and KP seem to make the most of it

Yeah lad
from this shoot
/shoot/32086

Ill keep you updated on my ban progress

Pollard 4(15)
Khawaja 3(10)

my life is so grim that I'd recognise a girls gaping asshole

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look after yourself Seb.
thought something bad happened to you lad.

>The boot manufacturer slaved over it
You don't say, Ian.

Can't blame em

half a mind to make some bacon sandwiches

i love how there were all of 20 people in kingsmead but they managed to banter warner into a mental breakdown

If Uzzy wins the test for us I will convert to Islam

Absolute peach

Legendary stuff

Tipping an elite and muscular 17 from cuckwaja

My m8 keeps sending me weird pics lad
please help

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>Muslims bowler vs Muslim batsmen in the Ashes
grim

That's an arsehole squirting out a milk enema

are we winning

quality>quantity when it comes to banter

hmmm, don't think I want to know what this one is

MODS

You got lost from the rounders thread young man

close one lad
it is fake semen
also not banned yet but will be now
so cyas for real now

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moeen ali is so shit

i fucking hate david warner

Yes, just being on TMS and not having to wear the sky deano uniform. Plus you get time to eat the cakes

bancroft is a gun

might check this out later haha

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Which Aussie cricketers have the nicest WAGS?

Why is the Australian wickie such a noisey cunt, our lads don't do nearly as much talking it's much less irritating.

Cya lad.
>that’s a lot of stairs

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Good stream

CHAMPIONIES CHAMPIONIES
OLE
OLE
OLE

no worries lad
/shoot/37438
there you go lad
i just get pictures for shitposting

I can only hear Jos Buttler

He’s a bit smug

low quality post

GONE
GOTTEM
FUCK OFF

>wankcroft

>SHITCROFT

Oh yeah nath fuck my arse nath please cum in my arse nath

fucking hell

Will England even have to bat again?

One more over then bed, oh FUCK BANCROFT'S OUT

kek that aussie ancestry ad.. full on chink with 21% irish ancestry

yikes

t. paine's mum

GONE
CAUGHT
FUCK OFF

gib ashes plx

fuck sake bancroft is an absolute mental midget
fucking dumbcunt

>getting out to pooen
Grim

england by an innings

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Time for based smoth

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YESSSSSSS FUCK OFFFF BANCROFT YOU SCUMMY FUCK

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bro it is bedtime

australia's only batsman strides to the crease

Maybe should have had a series with Ireland and done a one off with these shits

>GETTING OUT TO POOEEN
>GETTING OUT TO POOEEN
>GETTING OUT TO POOEEN

poeen actually has a really good bowling record recently

his batting sucks balls these days but he's literally selected on the basis of his bowling now

think the boss needs me

please save us smith ;_;

MOEEN

where have the australian posters gone

FILTHY. vomited in my mouth seeing this.

His record against Australia is horrendous

Work

Smith is the Australian Williamson

>POOT

(You)

Bed looms

>Figure out how to get Smith out early
>Win 5-0
Shouldn't have even bothered training for anything else considering how fucking shit the rest of the side is.

beddy bobos

>Warner not walking on an obvious edge
>Getting out to Mo
>This innings so far

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why is cameron such a common first name in aus
>working weekends

Weird considering that a few years ago he was a clutch batsman who could also bowl a bit

One right above you m8

>DROPPED
LEL

KHAWAJA/SMITH 300 PARTNERSHIP LETS GO

Yep the bloke who made fuck all runs against England in Australia will surely dominate in England

might play meet'n'fuck lavindor kingdom

I'm very very new to cricket. Is 27-2 a good score or a bad score? Would have thought that with your best batsmen going first they should get many runs per wicket?

Right, let's see if england can get the aussie captain out.

australia are winning 27-2. that is a huge margin in any sport

DRUMPF BTFO YET AGAIN

KEK

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Sad times innit

Smoth unironically did not know about the cheating incident until after it happened
He did what any good captain would and took a bullet for the lads.
Poorner and Shitcroft are the real cunts and karma will continue to punish them for it.
reminder Smoth is innocent and will always be based

I know. It was a lot to handle.

shit score

openers aren't the best but the ones with the best technique against the moving ball. the opening stages of the innings are the hardest to bat in as the ball is moving around a lot and the bowlers are fresh. openers are meant to see out the swing and soften the ball for the best batsmen to come in at 3 and 4 so they can have a swing

Can't see us scoring 26 more runs when Australia currently possess the bat

STATE of Australian “cricket”

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yeah we're winning lad.

this woman has an english accent its pretty distracting

What are the Asians who live in Australia like?

>NOOOOOO THEYRE MAKING FUN OF DADDY TRUMP
>also trumpcucks:
>HURR LIBRULS CANT TAKE A JOKE

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>took a bullet for the lads
Except it had the exact opposite effect.
He robbed the team of by far and away their best player for 12 months for something he (potentially) didn't do.

someone post the pasta about how being an opening batsman is the ultimate cuck

for me, it's ocean cruise

Good post

Yep, thinking Grimgland are cooked

Fucking kys

still here just seething

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Even better

yeah and it caused yous to lose a home series against india for the first time in history, not to mention robbing us, the cricket watching public, of a decent series with both teams at full strength
the banning of steve smith was the most disgraceful act in cricket history

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God imagine being that bit of concrete

:D

FUG DRUMPH XDXDXDXD
>but he single handedly stopped WWIII
>...b-bUT FUCK TRUMP
>defused Syria and North Korea
>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK TRUMP BREXIT IS BADD

Smith is literally deliberately hitting those edges into that gap.

got blue balled by mods, sauce pls

-44-2

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wait you guys lost that series? Stopped watching cricket temporarily at the end of last summer when we 4-1'd that indian team

grim

Any fair dinkum dog cunts ever had a VB longneck at 20 to eight in the fuckin morning?

Still seething prithi shaw got injured

the man is about as mature as your average Yea Forums poster

that's tigerr benson

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Many brit posters know this and are absolute scum for continuing to shit on Smoth.

Calm down Dermot

ty based melted man

Think we’ve fucked it lads. Australia are scoring fast. Don’t think we’ll even manage a draw at this rate.

poor sense of self worth ngl
many such cases in these times

>we
Which player are you? How are you posting from on the field at Edgbaston?

love how players like Warne and Flintoff got fit AFTER they stopped being professional athletes

love the captain in ocean cruise and the tennis girl in detective

haven't played them in well over a decade but remember those well

Is being an opener the ultimate cuckoldry?

I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than being an opening batsman. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are blocking, leaving, nudging and taking the shine off the ball for at least 18 overs, solely so it can go and get ravaged by another man. All the hard work you put into your beautiful little ball- seeing off the early swing, hitting it into the rough, avoiding letting it get the edge, nudging the odd one to the boundary without getting cocky. All of it has one simple result: its condition is more enjoyable for the men that will eventually smash it in every direction

Prepared the perfect ball? Great. Who benefits? If you're lucky, a random man who had nothing to do with the way it was swinging earlier, who comes in at 3. He gets to fuck its tight seam every delivery. He gets the benefits of its scuffed and swingless condition that came from the way you prepared it.

As an opening batsman, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 overs of your life simply to prepare a ball for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL cuck. Think about it logically

>something...something...convicts over there

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>46 points behind Australia
We're getting fucking thrashed lads

Putting the house on khawaja scoring a double

if this is true, which it isn't, that would mean Smith was trying to condone cheating by attempting to protect the players responsible

a real captain would blacklist those players for life. Again it means Smith is scum.

>94586628

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Good night /cric/, thanks for the laughs.

We just need to get the ball changed and it'll be fine.

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Not at all fond of these strike rates.

openers are the alphas of cricket lad

policewomen could get it

lot of joe BADMAN shills in here

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what they chanting??

reckon uzman is in for an explosive innings today

What's the point of playing a defensive shot if the ball is not going anywhere near the wickets?

right behind fast bowlers*

Imagine being this fucking stupid.
Khawaja is basically trying to get himself out every ball he faces from Moeen.

im not melting!

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Yeah, opening bowlers.

sqoosh the ball a bit

something about convicts

WHAT DOES SMOITH THINK THIS IS??? A T20 MATCH??? DISGRACEFUL!!!!!

Hi Seth!
t. /f1/

>9(24)
REMEMBER THE NAME

Ah, the famous English every man for himself attitude

Getting tired of the "female cricket analysts/commentators alongside the boys" lads.
There's that one English woman who is good at radio play-by-play, but literally every other one of them is awful.

you know its true cunt, you just want a reason to seethe at his batting brilliance
fuck off ya filthy pomgolian prayer time at the mosque you shitter

not a fan of poocastle poof and his shit banter

>you know its true cunt

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love how angry australians get when you call them out for cheating.

did this guy get off?

This is the partnership.

>citycunt chink STILL seething
rent free ching xao

Not yet.

many times

haha you can stop knicking it now smith

feel so bad for paine

surrounded by cunts, captain in name only, every single pundit scrutinising you

poor guy

Nah, mate, Bannedcroft and Warner are filthy cheats. No denying that.

how come australia gets the good paki?
not racist btw

"good" is a stretch mate

In many ways, the brilliance of Smith has caused untold seething among English cricket fans.

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reckon England might want 8 more wickets here

Sebbo-tier really

t. Moeen

He hans't been good for some time now tb h

>tabloids
yeah wow gee whiz youve certainly tapped on the pulse of the english psyche right there pal

Literally none of those pages are seething though.
Are you a Chink?

Don't think Australia do though.

all british pakis come from the shithole region apparently, only reason they came here

same reason our pakis are all weak spinners and we don't get any of the pacers the actual pakistan team gets.

test cricket has no time for weakminded players, hope he fucks off asap for the good of the game

yeah good comparison actually, basically sebbo if raised in a methed up city

>poocastle
grim

If he was shit you’d have banned him for life but because you have to win you gave him a paltry ban and pretended it was enough

seems like you got quite emotionally affected by that. you may even say it made you seethe

WOW, can't wait to see the excitement that this defensive batting strategy on a dead pitch goes!

yeah a paki here mentioned something like that, you don't get the punjabis or pashtuns I don't think

Why doesn't Smith get told off for delaying the game when he's touching himself up like a raging ADHD faggot?

I think they actually think he was innocent, which is just so fucking laughable.

Do you think there's anyone who sits down and watches an entire test match?

travis head is a lad

haha that would be weird

yikes just imagining if amir, asif, akram and the likes were born in a british paki community

probs would've had their technique coached out of them tbf

literally me

he was to an extent from what I've heard from shield cricketers
wasn't his idea and he didn't condone it. his sin was not telling warner to not do it.

Me with 95% of test matches featuring Australia and a good 50% of all other tests. I watched almost every ball of the England Ireland test match for example. I watched majority of the Bangladesh Zimbabwe test match last year even kek

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only 31 more runs and we win the test

There was this guy with full blown autism at the the T20 yesterday and I reckon he’d do it. He was going on about going to the cricket when it was raining and knew the bus timetable from memory so test cricket seems right up how street

I reckon they'd be content with losing 8 wickets if they could get set a total of 300 to chase

YOU'RE THE CONVICTS OVER THERE

>he's not autistic

Again, bullshit.
Unless there's proof, he's as guilty as the others.

could get saqib mahmood in the future though

not really how it works sweaty

>and knew the bus timetable from memory
is that weird?

I remember this kid at school said he liked to do this and the phys ed teacher was shocked and kept asking what was wrong with him.

I rarely get the bus because I’m not poor but it seemed pretty autistic to me

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reckon if england got a wicket here it would really put pressure on the australian team

live in Matcham tbqh lads, Merewether was firing today so drove up to Newey

What's that "der der der" chant they did at the World Cup?

Don't recall asking.

why didn't don bradman serve in the war?

Reckon if we got 8 here we’d have em on the ropes

Reckon England have already missed their chance to get Smith out. This match is ogre.

>poocastle
grim

Depends how many runs they scored though of course

does australia have a culture except just shortening things to words ending in vowels

Medical exemption due to manletism.

It’s over. This partnership will be at least 200+

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so is watching a full test match actually weird? I do it all the time. I just don't find it boring and I'm usually looking forward to it for a long time before it happens. obviously other things get in the way, like work or plans I've made, but when I'm free I can very happily sit through 100 overs of cricket a day.

domestic abuse

elite sporting nation

What happened to sledging and bowling the ball at people's heads?

How the fuck are you guys watching this?

sports, literally.

it's on channel 9 m8

stream

Not liking this run rate.

Personally I'm sat down in front of a screen how about you?

9now on my pc

9Now

Listen to as much of the test as possible at work then watch it when I'm home and over the weekend.

haha who would do that haha that'd be so weird haha

What's happening in this pic?

>88-8

i don't have a telly but the kids next door have a cricket set in their back garden and are acting out every ball shown on their dad's telly helpful stuff

20 years ago maybe. You're shit-tier these days.

*peels his engorged testicle from his toned, virile thigh*

Bit muggy here in Bristol lads

Innit, why haven’t we brought Jofra Archer in and told him to try and decapitate Smith

acestream la 985d0bdbfbb5eebec078cd17d3eaa874f822d5c2

Warners wife to be being fucked in a toilet cubicle by a new Zealand rugby player

love surfing
love the cenny coast
love Newey
love Joe Flaccos biggest fan
love Smoth
hate chinks
hate citycunts
hate cunts crying about their lack of a gf on grig

simple really

David Warners wife and mother of his children getting boned by some muslim rugby player.

doesnt change the popularity of sport here. i guarantee there's not a country on earth more obsessed with sport than aus desu.

See

Anyone watching the India v West Indies T20?

tbf considering their population Australia is pretty goat at sports considering the range of sports they compete in

I remember seeing a video for the summer olympics where they tried to balance per capita (which is obviously biased in favour of small irrelevant countries which is why continentals get autistic with it) and total medals (which favour larger countries with larger talent pools)

Basically GB and Australia came on top pretty easily

The guy's international career was dead and buried 18 months ago.
He must think he's in a dream.

>hate cunts crying about their lack of a gf on grig
what about cunts to talk about their actual gfs?

how is it that sky's commentary is so fucking boring I'd rather just listen to TMS

I suppose I could just try and get tms to sync up with sky's picture but I really can't be arsed

Fair, what's happened over the past decade or so then? You used to be dominant.

>poot
haha time for pies

I’ve got a mod on Don Bradman cricket which recreates the game perfectly

Poocastle poof is literally Australian Sebbo

With my eyes

Make a program that synchs it up for you. Sell it on an app store in the aim of making money. Watch as /cric/ finds a way to use it without paying. Drink heavily.

Yes, Pollard is the only guy keeping Windies alive.

We were good at the Olympics because the government pumped so much into the Sydney Olympics and that carried over for the next few. As far as cricket, rugby and soccer go, unironically AFL takes all our best athletes. And anyone who'd have talent in union ends up in the NRL.
NRL and AFL have just gotten too massive.

city freshcunt desperate for an asian gf seething over multiple threads
grim

FUCKED

Will Windies score a century?

australian rules focus basically
cricket has been the most hurt by that

AND NOW HES GONE AAAHAHA

FOOK OFF

ewww no

KEKEKEK

>KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA >KEKWAJA

HAHAHA C O L L A P S E

PAKWHAJA BTFO

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

GONE
GOTTEM
FUCK OFF YOU FILTHY CHEATS

Shame. Seems there's never actually been a time where we've both been good at sports at the same time.

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>POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA >POZZSTRALIA

MUH GLOVES.

I don’t get how people like league. Just a babby form of union

i don't like this paki cunt anyway

popular in the brainlet states only

No

>stream showed England still batting

think it might be a bit delayed desu

STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD STOKES IS GOD

only low iq bogans watch it

Yeah, I think 2005 Ashes was the only time I can think.

Don't get it either. League is so fucking braindead, makes sense it'd be most popular in NSW and QLD.
For me, its cricket > AFL > union

Poocastle poof's so fresh he takes the bait every fucking time kek

Why are ginger all rounders so fucking based

Bowled at Heads head

Top bantz

>-15/3

>Saini just bowled a wicket maiden in the last over on his dayboo

WICKET
>MAIDEN
WICKET
>MAIDEN
WICKET
>MAIDEN
WICKET
>MAIDEN
WICKET
>MAIDEN
WICKET
>MAIDEN
WICKET
>MAIDEN
WICKET
>MAIDEN
WICKET
>MAIDEN
WICKET
>MAIDEN
WICKET
>MAIDEN

Stream switched to football just in time...

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more like the faggot army

reckon I hurt your feelings pretty badly lad lol

just a gentle reminder that our by far best bowler is currently injured and not playing and we're effectively playing a bowler down

REALLY grim scenes for australia

Next generation of ginger cricket gods coming through

beginning of the bumrah-saini era innit x

Fucks sake the lady is back

hahahahahaha

The term 'maiden' is very problematic desu.

Does Head have Downs? Why doesn't his tongue fit in his mouth?

Jesus Christ, that's terminally ginger.

wait, Starc isn't injured? Is Langer retarded?

Need miracle bowling now.

no you

>that hairline
>on a kid
do you start going bald from birth in Englel

>by far best bowler is 37

starc is shit

with how good starc is against tailenders we'd be fucked if he was actually picked

Most britposters here agreed with Langer dropping Starc because of his record in Englel before the test started lad.

do you reckon wicketkeepers get chronic lower back problems due to the way they squat

could have easily played instead of Wade and it would have been an all round improvement

age is just a number

Why do Brits have those round heads? Can't quite put my finger on it but they have a really distinctive look. Round heads, untrustworthy features and that weird skin tone. Yet we're Anglos too but don't look like that.

his hairline is normal. you're clearly balding yourself to even mention it though

Starc is proof of the old adage that 'ability is temporary, class is permanent'.

nah he's going to be a soiboi when he grows up i reckon

yeah well not having the extra bowler was clearly a mistake in hindsight. Also he's unironically a better batsman than most of the batting 'specialists' that got selected

It's the Irish in us

humans are meant to squat

I see the seethwi has woken up

australians probably have more irish but we don't look like that

>Why do Brits have those round heads? Can't quite put my finger on it but they have a really distinctive look. Round heads, untrustworthy features and that weird skin tone. Yet we're Anglos too but don't look like that.

can't unread this

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lawnGOD to you mate

not very sporting tbqh, good food and an outdoor lifestyle makes Aus and NZbros have more athletic bodies in general, making the head more proportionally suited to our bodies.
Poms either sit inside because of the rain or play soccer, a sport that will make your head appear even larger due to not using your upper body much.
t.scientist

should have forcibly prevented mitchell johnson from retiring

poocastle poof is an absolute retard

Not picking Starc is literally a crime.

>untrustworthy features

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this is the post

because english people don't get much sun and don't play sports, so they get this layer of blubber/weird facial proportions because only people who are actually passionate about outdoor activities actually bother with them

So true

>t. Ivan Ivanovich Vodkanin

fucking alien looking fuckers

>blubber
kek

>good food
How fucking sad are Antipodeans to have internalised that bizarre chat to this level.

So the Indians were right all along?

thinking you need a root lad
walking around Sydney looking for an asian gf is sad

aussies claiming they're all tanned and athletic yet whenever one of them posts their photo here they all look skinny and pale. very amusing

based lynn

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Let them cope, it's all they have these days.

i am athletic as fuck but super pale kek

kiwi has turned into a mute, everyone
hahahaHahahhahahHahhahahahhahakajajjajakekkekekkekk

Poocastle poof takes the bait like a newcunt again kek

me and my brother from last july

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literally me, the tanned and athletic part not the skinny and pale part

they all look like Straffo

I'm pretty handsome but I don't wanna brag.

imagine if moeen was actually a good bowler

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Come over to /afl/, one of our posters is a former male model

>"I know! let's have a woman commentate the cricket! That might be good.. O wait! let's have her be a non-white black demon faking as british! bravo jolly old chap!"
Wow nice job ashes.

>they all look like Straffo
I wish desu

you can see their retarded impulsive nature. Strong in body, artistic in passions but lacking the diligence and forethought required for self-governance.

I saw Steve Smith at a Wikes in Egbaston yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen sheets of sandpaper in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the sheets and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each sheet and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

My brother was a male model.
I am not.

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I was here before Joe Flaccos biggest Fan lad
this all started when I laughed at you for looking for an asian gf then you got real mad when I started dropping anti chink truthbombs
cope

She fucking hates the English too, she’s pissing me right off

England cricket team has more normal looking human beings than Australia to be honest, even our brown one is better looking than theirs

why is he so pink? it's like someone dressed up a worm

based fucking goose

Isa is pretty decent. Actually super awks when you get poos in the commentary box. Was very awkward in last summer's india series because they sort of assumed she thought of herself more as Indian than English when she didn't

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MUTEEEYYYYYY

>lead by 1
it's over, we've won

Based drunk typing misspelling the pasta poster.

Poocastle poof still taking the bait

Apparantly he is indeed capable of not being a giant cunt.

just a gentle reminder we have a whole other innings to bat still

saved

WAIT ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Sauce

should declare

>not wanting an asian gf

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Thats because Australians have traded their heritage of robust athletics and love of the outdoors for the impulsive, uncontrolled consumption of wicked poisons and online pornography.

On this pitch each run Australia score from now on is like double.

t.Slanty Eyes

>Win the toss
>Elect to bat
>Get a gigantic advantage before a ball is bowled
Cricket is broken.

Is it like soccer where away goals are worth double?

Based kid with an England shirt and a Windies hat on

Howling at these blow-ins

Didn't really work for them though did it.

EBJA on the field

We all literally have the same genetics.

Aussies are descended from the detritus of the UK and Ireland, and somehow there's this belief they're all much better looking.

just the way old mate has been going on reeks of desperation
had to call him out
btw its mainly chink gf that is a problem

england winning by three wickets minus 4 runs

God this is true, we are the worst but at least we aren't Canadia, a country founded on fucking animals and breeding small cocks as an aesthetic choice

Smith is a fucking man child

dont get why so many australians have yellow fever

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>tfw the world cup blow ns liked asian girls
ashes blow ins have such shit taste

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Good point, we should have an English bat at one end and an Aussie at the other. 5 fielders from each team and a neutral wicketkeeper.

They're going to win m8.

Delusion is a powerful drug.

steve smith should be in prison

>fielders scrambling and fighting to get to the ball first to deliberately ping it for four overthrows

Could be quite funny tbf

So true

how about if we shift the pitch across the circle and then move a little bit from one end to the other every innings? that'd fix things

dhawan gone fuck

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Because you’d be in jail

Only the greatest puritans and gentleman settled south Australia and bred a league of super-gentleman that influenced the founding of the greatest country in the world, so you are wrong.

The salute.

>Smith has 20 pairs of gloves

Now this is autism.

made one joke post that was a nod to an ongoing joke on cric for the last 18 months not that you'd know you seething freshcunt

sportschan

WALLOP

>scots

can't trust a people who reject cricket

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dont have to explain yourself to me m8
calm down

>ongoing joke on cric
can't call it an ongoing joke when it's literally only you

India's WAGs are better than Oz sheilas.

Puritans were just beta autists obsessed with self improvement. Only the weak care to become strong, because they are not strong to begin with.

Took the bait like a freshie

They play it round the borders

CARNON LADS LETS SING THE OTHER SONG WE KNOW

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Whatever sodomite

that's what everyone has been saying mate
makes no sense but for some reason the english look different to us

Why dont the english use smiths autism against him. Making eye contact with him, or pat him on the shoulder could send him into an autism coma.

That was a very deep sigh from Athers

South Australians are the ugliest

I'd constantly interupt his gay little routines

destryoed
fuck off canada

steve smith's greatest weakness is seeing his shoelaces
youtube.com/watch?v=YWatvtSFDUo

Want to see Archer bowl spin like

making a cauliflower pizza brb

as an autistic, I really like supporting my brothers in their pursuits. really like seeing Kane and Smoth do well in particular, I think de Grandmeme is autistic too. it transcends any nationalist loyalties. it's a shame England has none, maybe Root is on the spectrum but I don't think I can put him in that category.

Want to see him steam in then pull up and bowl some spin

>England are in a really commanding position
How can Nasser have been a professional cricketer and not know how hard it is to bat fourth? Australia have 7 wickets left and Smith is set, that makes them big favourites.

THE MUTE IS NO LONGER A MUTE

>90mph spin
They never stood a chance

>be autistic
>have no skill or super intelligence
Just socially awkward

it's hardest to bat 4th but at the same time this isn't india lad where the pitches literally get destroyed after a wet fart

technically any seam bowler that can bowl off/leg cutters can bowl spin

I am interested in what would happen if the crowd took the opposite approach to unsettling batsmen. Instead of being loud and distracting, which batsmen are prepared for, be completely silent.

You need at least some days when it's not raining to be able to play cricket though.

Just beamer this fucking cunt already

yeah but >our bowling has looked fucking shite and the pitch looks pretty flat still.

>makes them big favourites
I agree Nasser is an idiot for thinking England have this in the bag, but Australia are still a long way from being favourites.

you got the autism version of autism
unlucky lad

Smith will get out this over

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Archer getting caught stealing someone hat

i love channel 9 kek

Based Joff riding round the boundary on someone's bike

We could really do with an autistic robot of an opener desu

love this picture
forgot all about it lmao

england should hire a psychologist to be 12th man and field at slip to mentally destroy smith's autistic routines

>english people are weird looki-

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unlike the west indies the ECB actually pay them a decent dollar so hopefully this scenario does not come to pass

how else do you think the ECB gets players to betray their heritage and pride to play for them

Will Smith score a century?

Head to go before the end of play

Only if Australia can settle in and bat all day tomorrow or at least until tea. Otherwise it's for England if they don't, dare I say it, collapse.

>having the audacity to make this call when Moeen is bowling
I respect it but no

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shiny beads and whiskey?

Big milkies

yikes.. bit grim to be happy about people drowning

Don't need to be a psycologist just have someone whispering they can see his shoe laces and he forgot to touch his left pad

henlo are good guys winning

God I wanna fuck sam

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England are 1/2 you gonk, you should probably have a VERY BIG bet on Australia kek.

one on the right?

I would say 'tap' every time he taps and 'bounce' every time he bounces

The left.

WALLOP

youtube.com/watch?v=TMCthi3pFEQ

Oof that would probs work given his autism

Pic related is the highest 4th innings totals at Edgbaston. England will struggle to get 200.

I've made a lot of money over the years betting against the team batting last, faggit.

how is there a picture of this?
also lmao at her feeling sorry for sonny bill williams

based
muslims always win

think I have to go into work tomorrow

I notice new things in this webm every time I see it

oh haha yeah me too haha

With pic this time.

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especially if you did it for a few tests, make it part of his routine, then stop

The froggy cunt holds the bat with an extremely closed grip - just keep enticing the cunt to cover drive and he won't be able to

say it one extra time every time for a session and then do that once in the new session then say it one less time and he'll meltdown

*shuffles a bit and pushes you through mid on*

reckon england need to go up to smith and discuss the length of his shoe laces between overs, might confuse his giant autistic brain

A lot of those are wins batting second.

Do white Aussies care about Cricket or is it just Indians and Pakis like it is over here?

Sharma gone.

thats brilliant. its pissing me off just imagining it

*has on mid on and midwicket to cut out any cheap single*

Learn2captain m9

this
he literally takes balls from a meter outside off and flicks them through the on side
so you keep bowling there thinking eventually he'll miss one or get an edge
then he's 109*

>white Aussies
no such thing

lmao Pant gone too, fucking hell

Did Smith earn enough GBP for a new set of gloves already?

>cricket
>white

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second sport in every state, making in the largest sport overall

Yeah but they're all in cases with low targets. Only twice has a team chased over 200.

GOT HIM
FUCK OFF

Based stokes

Smith cm away from death.

YIKES

Cricket is by far the most popular sport here. Have you never seen a crowd in Australia?

is Smith's brain damaged from that, and would it even be noticeable?

someone webm that smith autism thnks

Should sit him down, he must have concussion. Not walking off here is clearly cheating.

Nasty hit

based, that'll shake him

>yeah just going to travel and see the world
Spends 6 months in Europe getting piss the bed munted

hate these crowd fuckwits

probably make him smarter if anything

bodyline back in vogue

Cricket is more of a social thing than the typical sport.

aye fair enough so

DO IT AGAIN

sickening english cunts trying to kill our best batsman because theyre too shit to get him out

Why is a Kiwi bowling? Thought this was england v australia

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WHEELS TURNING ROUND AND ROUND

Will Smith recover from his knock on the head?

I think it's the most popular sport in Australia because it's played everywhere unlike the footy codes down there which are regional. It's got to be either cricket or netball, soccer has junior numbers too but hardly anyone follows it.

bed time

night lads x

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Aye but English crowds tend to have a lot of white people in it which isn't really representative of the nation as a whole.

Cricket is generally like by Indians, Pakis, Country Folk and rich people who went to boarding school

>Stokes has Maori ancestry, which some in his family think contributes to his unquenchable spirit.[6]
why do NZers suck off maoris so much

How delayed is your stream Andy Caddick's long retired mate

this, typical English bullying tactics, absolutely disgraceful

>netball
Lol no one gives a fuck about it

not our fault he couldn't play it

he's a nonce and all nonces are english

Cricket in England certainly has the nicest demographics

Head is literally a window licker

aghhhh that was the ball

Unquenchable spirits? Maori have the emotional stability of children

Yeah, cricket is #2 in every sate, but it's still very popular as a number 2 sport so in total it's far more popular than either AFL or NRL.
No one watches netball.

Australian crowds are 90% white which is basically an accurate representation of the country's demographics. Only ones you don't really see at cricket is Asians.

shut the fuck up i didnt ask you

don't heaps of girls and women play it though? Or we're not counting them lmao ok

it's a fundamental part of australian culture unironically because of the ashes. it was the first thing that we were better than the english at, and the only thing for a long time. becuase of that, the whole population embraced it.

why dont the fielders constantly run around the pitch in a circle so the batsmen can never get a 4?

RENT FREE

Played, yeah, but no one watches netball. Although it still gets better tv ratings than a-league kek

LMAO

holy shit...

Your not allowed to move in the field

well, we are talking almost 200 years ago when we were a literal british colony.

New
New

where’s the new thread ya cunts

it's like soccer in that there's decent participation figures but no one really cares about it. if you asked the average woman what sport they watch here (speaking as someone from perth) it'd either be footy or nothing at all.

Business idea:
Knockout the umpire so none of the normal rules apply

England thrive on bullying. I'm convinced that the historic dominance of England is a result of school children bullying the fuck out of each other. England will never rise if bullying is laid to rest.

Maori literally invented trench warfare and fought the British Empire to a draw, whilst not being united (there were also Maori on the British side). They absolutely deserve respect for that, whether it's called warrior spirit or something else, they were afaik the only native indigenous population to do that against a European colonial power.

It's undeniably better to watch than a-league, I had a look at it during the wc the other week it's alright
That's true

What's the point in having floodlights when the umpires are still going to complain about the light conditions?

Ethiopia straight up defeated Italy lad

completely disproves your point then doesnt it.

teams score low in the 4th inning because thats all they need to win.

jesus that stump went flying

LOVE the ashes but I'm stuck in greece ffs I want to be in a real pub, know noone at work will be missing it

Switched to wifi so that people believe I'm in greece

t. pikey with 3 teeth