/trans/

Bale move to China is OFF

Imagine how much Bale is laffin right now.
I imagine he enjoys fucking Zidane over like this. He will still be able to go to China or MLS when his current contract runs out

Where exactly has it been leaked? I need to know so I can make sure to avoid that website at any cost.

>gay

giz us a link la?

Attached: El.jpg (640x857, 78K)

Basado Bayol

Just get a fucking haircut already, jesus fuck

Why are Liverpool signing all these literal who’s when their fans desperately want to win the league? They will be a long way off City this season unless they resolve the following

Competition for Salah/Mane
High quality creative midfielder
Competition/cover for fullbacks

Dunno read online a strictly come dancing contestant got their sex tape leaked and someone on Twitter said it was her. Haven't even seen it myself.

twitter.com/bbcsport_david/status/1155452018770796544
>Real called the Bale to China deal off
I don't even.

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Absolute banter merchant.
I fucking love Bale this summer. GOAT troller

I FUCKING LOVE HTFC EDITIONS!

Septuple year, we need youngsters for the meme contests like the league cup

Apparently Bale has been helping Hazard settle in. Meaning he became good mates with Hazard, then their big money signing likely said to Zidane "can we keep bale" and Zidane probably had a stroke because he can't unsettle hazard. Top banter from from Bale.

>le EXPOSED man

Attached: image[1].jpg (3200x2133, 580K)

hitc.com/en-gb/2019/07/25/jermain-defoe-claims-hes-heard-from-players-who-want-to-join-ran/
>“There is expectation and demand from the fans but that’s a good thing. I’ve had a lot of my ex team-mates message me saying they want to come here too,” said Defoe. “I’m not mentioning any names but, seriously, I’ve had a lot of messages from people asking me to speak to the manager because they can see I’ve really enjoyed it.”
Bale to Rangers confirmed

Attached: 2F607D73-5A39-445A-9A86-E968EBF409C5.jpg (620x413, 57K)

Community Shield
FA
LC
C World Cup
CL
?

>want to make your son the backup goalkeeper
>don't get your way
>want to sell Bale
>don't get your way

UEFA Super Cup

>bale
more like assou-ekotto

>No Wilfred, we wore red shirts that season

More like Mordic m8

Wait, so you're telling me the current 'Champions' of Europe haven't won their own domestic league for almost 3 decades? How can they be champions of Europe if they're not champions in their own country?

Attached: 1551648186382.jpg (2197x1463, 216K)

based

Charity Shield
Super Cup
Club World Cup
League Cup
FA Cup
Premier League
Champions League

Attached: That Liverpool Feel.webm (976x550, 2.91M)

>waaah talk about liverpool some more

It doesn't help Livershit fans feel the need to chat shit about other clubs constantly because they're secretly nervous about not signing anyone.

I suspect everything to be fake. The China deal was barely ever a thing.

>premier league
>liverpool

Pick 0

Signed someone today user

tsf (that septuple feel)

Attached: That Liverpool Feel.png (500x430, 843K)

>A 16 year old who will go on loan for the next 3 years and do nothing
Yes, maybe that will help them win the league

There's about 5 anti-Liverpool posts for every pro one

>Mike Ashley: I could own NUFC forever

where were you when MA became the most based owner in the footballing world?

>who will go on loan for the next 3 years
He is playing for Liverpool tonight, even joined with a promise to play
>berg thoroughly cucked

ate newcastle fans
luv relegating them

>In 1988 aged 24, he married Linda Jerlmyr, a Swedish-born economics graduate, and the couple have three children.
Wonder if the family will inherit the club after he dies.

>implying Ashley will ever die

Kek. I wonder how Liverpool will slip this year.

Attached: gary acting coy.jpg (320x334, 26K)

>family inherit club
>they're even shitter at being owners then mike is
pls happen

How is MA a shit owner? nufc are one of the best run clubs in the league.

>aiming to finish 17th every season
>good owner

He wouldn't give Rafa a blank cheque to sign more shitters like Muto so he's literally the devil incarnate

Newcastle vs Sunderland will be a league 1 fixture in 3 years

You love to see it

>reee nufc should be spending 500million on messi every season and winning the league and every cup

Nice try toon fan, you can't compete with the top 6.

They are going to be relegated this year.

No they aren't, he always invests his own cash out of pocket whenever they are looking like getting relegated, if they are fine they run on their own finances. By all means though, keep shitting on the best owner you've ever had.

exaggerating a bit here lads

his goals are economic, not for football glory

>Mike defence force
Literally have sex

Based /trans/ contrarians

I just enjoy geordie tears

Read any Newcastle fan comments or talk to any Geordie, then you'll see the truth. Of course you wont though.

>get to watch both new signings today at 5
Absolutely based lads

Attached: 1529322687610.png (528x710, 642K)

Not even a Newcastle supporter, lad.

They expect a bit better than barely surviving and a season where they lose in the first game of cup competitions. They would genuinely be pleased with 12th and a cup quarter-final.

>he always invests his own cash out of pocket
Total and utter bollocks: twitter.com/KevinJRawlinson/status/1154891855772958720

>Ashley likes to claim #NUFC’s malaise is inevitable because he can’t afford to put more in. But Ashley does not habitually bankroll the club. It's a separate entity to him with its own revenue and expenditure. The money for transfers, for example, does not generally come out of Ashley’s pocket. It’s #NUFC’s money and he sets stringent constraints on *how* it’s spent. The consequences of that are a matter of public record.

You clearly never have either.

So basically Eriksen stays and Spurs don't sign anyone else

based bale, the che guevara of football

There's a definite anti-norf bias in these threads

They still have money left to spend apparently.
But it's a great thing imo, Lo Celso would be a huge downgrade. They could get a not too expensive offensive option like Ziyech or Ben Yedder though.

Southhampton beating Feyenoord btw

Is this Harvey Elliott kid gonna be another Patrick Roberts situation?
>supposed teenage wonderkid from Fulham academy
>bought by bigger club after only 1 or 2 appearances from the bench
>loaned out multiple times
>never breaks into the club's first team
>disappears

Yes. He’s literally shit

More than likely from plastic casuals who bandwagon the big clubs and know fuck all about the sport.

>Leaves club to family
>family pay to have statue of him put next to the Bobby Robson statue outside St James Park
>rename a stand to Mike Ashley Stand
>put season ticket holders in it

>does not generally come out of Ashley’s pocket.

protip: that's a damage control phrase to say "we-well he doesn't always fund nufc out of his own pocket, just most of the time!

why even buy a football club unless you're a giga-billionaire who wants to pour money into it?

How can they win a septuple if you’re including the premier league?
They have literally no chance of winning the league.

MA uses Newcastle as a Sports Direct advertising platform. For all of the space in the ground they use to advertise SD, they've only paid £3 million for the space.

Fun

would be maximum seethe from the Geordies

His argument is clearly the opposite.

Genuinely amazed there are people on here who defend Ashley. is completely correct. Who can forget the Sports Direct Arena?

Attached: s-l300[1].jpg (300x225, 16K)

Bale is probably telling this "theyre all cunts here mate, yea you get to wear the white and represent the history but the fans, board and players are cunts la. just sit on your ass watching anime and eating krispy kremes and get that payday mate, you've already won loads."

whos ben yedder?

Please kindly leave /trans/ if you are a casual

Kys

REAL JUST ANNOUNCED POGBA

Attached: IMG_20190728_094244.jpg (827x775, 74K)

Thought Newcastle was a big club?
Incosistent northern fat fuck

When is Fernandes gonna get annoounced? WTF is United doing this summer

They’ve not won the premier league so can’t be classed as a big club

Liverpool actually know how to develop players so he should at least end up good. Unlike any idiot that stays at city

Waiting for Pogba to go real then they will sign Fernandes and SMS

>28 of july and neymar is still stuck in psg

have a great day !

Attached: 1402423674478.png (236x427, 271K)

>idiot that stays at city

Yeah because winning the league 3 years in a row is idiotic.

Fucking Pogba, always fucks up everything.

SAF was right

Ashley will make a digusting amount of profit when he sells on. Newcastle will be a £1bn+ project to some oil paki

desu bet you lot havent even seen him play just hyping a name youve heard. Classic story of football khv nerds.

Bruno was never going there deluded manu nigger

Ashley wont sell, he has a pretty much self sufficient football club that advertises his main business. It's almost free giant advertising all over the world.

Cam on Lyon

>thinking I don’t watch champions league football

inb4 he's not in the lineup tonight for their friendly because he's on a plane

I literally guarantee you he is

>watches playwr twice
>/ourguy/

Attached: clu.jpg (1412x797, 131K)

newcastle are the same level of BIG CLUB as leeds, forest & villa
i.e. not big clubs

Seen him play maybe 10 times I’d say. Think I saw him playing for France actually but quite a few times in champs league/Europa/when Sevilla play Barca/real

Can I have a full list of BIG CLUBS in England?

>being unable to save twitter images

Attached: EAkJbtaXkAA7jh_[1].jpg (1920x1080, 182K)

Here comes another fat Frank loss
Reckon he can manage to get sacked before the league even starts?

City
United
Chelsea

>Bale's family asked him to stay in Europe and not going China, negotiations with Jiangsu Suning have stopped
L M A O

Attached: Laugh_KiniroMosaic.jpg (1280x720, 124K)

Yea please tell me how often youth players touch the pitch there
Oh but they get a medal they didn't earn!!!!

You forgot Liverpool in your list.

>Judging success by how many youth players play

Small club mentality

Man Utd, Liverpool, Arsenal.

There ends your lesson.

haha oh oh lads cant wait to see the response to this!

He based.

Attached: ba.png (640x325, 193K)

underrated

Forest
Villa
Chelsea
United
Liverpool

>listing a team that has never won the league as a big club

ISHYGDDT

hahaha told ya!

Dybala Cancelled
Lo Celso on Wednesday

Im talking about the players themselves not the club you complete invalid

What do you reckon? Bit worried about Salah/Mane as they both probably won’t play first few games.

Attached: BD82763E-0400-4359-8883-E01A7BAB668F.jpg (828x1443, 817K)

0 PL

F
twitter.com/marca/status/28841194433?s=19

I like this team.
The only criticism I would make is Jorginho is not gonna get more than a few points each week

Inb4 it’s Anton Du Beke’s sex tape
>I’d still watch it

Benzememe has died? How was he kill?

He’s on pens now that Hazard left

Downgrade Heston to a 4.0 keeper
Might want to downgrade Ederson to a 4.5-5.5 keeper, not entirely convinced in 6.0 goalies as all it takes is one goal for them to not get a return
Jota to King
Maybe do Kane to Vardy
Maddison is shit, I would rather get Tielemans or Perez if you want a lesta MID
Put Greenwood as second sub
El Ghazi to McGinn

Also
>leicester defensive “assets”
I would rather not

OFFICIAL /TRANS/ ANNOUNCEMENT

A recent investigation conducted by the international association of how many Premier Leagues has each club won has concluded that Liverpool FC have won a grand total of 0.

To clarify, that is 0 (zero) Premier League wins for Liverpool FC.

Thank you in advance for understanding this important message.

>Liverpool concedes a goal

Diversify, friend

OH NO NO NO NOOOOOOO lmao kek

And Man City have won no Premierships so shut the fuck up turdfaced pigmouth.

Official strictly sexy apes I want to see power rankings:
1: Rachael Riley
2: Stacey Dooley
3: Gemma Atkinson
4: That bird with the short hair from the Saturdays
5: Louise Redknapp
6: Caroline Flack
7: Kara Tointon
8: Abbey Clancey
9: Kate Garraway
10: Jill Halfpenney

9000: Nancy Dell’Olio
900001: Ann Widdecombe

Attached: E3DFC9C6-7671-474B-A2DD-5878C8509A66.png (979x1078, 290K)

>Jill Halfpenney
yes

Attached: 4.jpg (400x355, 46K)

Why are all Liverpool players so based and humble?

>sexy apes
Dumb phoneposter

Who is Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher?

because the club is bigger than the player
imagine playing for city or united lol, basically franchises, just mess around and work on your fashion label

Does Spurs count for this season?

What about the sexy strictly judges power rankings?

1. Len
2. Darcey
3. Craig
100. Len’s replacement
10001. Bruno

Kek u mad bro?

your top 4 and are on point mate and the blonde saturday too id add

based and humble players?
caragher literally says he was shit

arsenal vs lyon game fred

Who cares?

Have you wished England's Lord and Saviour Harry Kane a happy birthday?

But its true....

Thank you based user. I needed a laff and this has quenched my thirst.

>come to get some nice transfer news
>everyone is just talking about liverpool
STOP BEING OBSESSED

Yes I know and I’m completely fine and happy with the fact they never won the old first division. but I don’t need to react like you.

Darcey. Would rather die than fuck the rest. Stop being gay lad

cringe

OFFICIAL /TRANS/ ANNOUNCEMENT

A recent investigation conducted by the international association of how many Champions Leagues has each club won has concluded that Manchester City FC have won a grand total of 0.

To clarify, that is 0 (zero) Champions League wins for Manchester City FC.

After spending a total of over £2bn in recent years they still have not managed to buy this trophy, held back by Liverpool.

Thank you in advance for understanding this important message.

City won the old First Division twice Lad

0 PL Titles la

>Len will never shout “Seven!” At you as he pulls his meaty 7 incher out of his pants

Zero premier leagues. Lol.

When you've signed 13 players and the only transfer fee you've pad is 50k. Based Warbs.

Attached: _106846429_markwarburtonqpr2.jpg (480x270, 18K)

*Paid, I'm a fuckwit.

>signed lee wallace, barry mckay and jason holt
He really is getting the gang back together

Have six

What about the new judge?

Still not going up la

I sixed on your mums chest lad

But he didn't sign McKay or Holt...

>signing shitloads of free agents
>a good thing
Ready to produce your absolutely bullshit prediction again like last season?

I'm in the market for something delicious for my tea.
Any rumours of a possible tasty addition to fill this position?

Attached: munch-box.jpg (1290x900, 269K)

Thought he had. Oh well

6 pack of tunnocks tea cakes lad

Large Kebab is available cheap from the Turkish league.

Sunday Roast is a homegrown alternative but requires more upfront work to be game ready

I've got a joint of beef in the slow cooker at the mo la. Gonna get some broccoli, carrots and spinach in there with some gravy and tatties

>meaty
>7incher

oh to be a dicklet

>tfw really fancy fish and chips for some reason
>only ones open on Sunday are paki ones
Looks like it’s a pizza again

Attached: 6E196F13-2B04-411F-B8D7-3BBBD0A633BA.png (300x263, 118K)

>Sunday Roast is a homegrown alternative but requires more upfront work to be game ready

Too late in the window to get that over the line.

I was thinking of investing in the Chinese market but the value for money isn't the best.

think you got exposed by . silly git. And the point isnt who did or didnt win the 1st division before a certain year. The point is that its the same competition throughout all those years. You smarmy shitefaced dickgreaser.

A girthy 7 incher is just about perfect desu
>t. Gaychad

>gays
>chad

Seething

nah if you bring in a Chinese you'll just have to buy again next window, maybe look to the italian market, Calzone should be available

Calm down, DYEL poof manlet

Good Lord, I'm a good specimen. broad shoulders, decent height, handsome all i needs a job

Six what? Still 0 PL

>DYEL poof manlet
Stop projecting lad

Morning all

>Six what? Still 0 PL
Six champions league trophies, where you must beat the best teams in europe. Not 6 good teams and 14 shitters consistently

Kek. Stay mad

Cant stop thinking about Liverpool ffs lads

>Liverpool team to play Napoli: Mignolet, Alexander-Arnold, Matip, Van Dijk, Robertson, Fabinho, Henderson, Wijnaldum, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Milner, Origi
Bit strong for a friendly desu

cope

>Bale to China is off

Attached: Untitled.png (670x850, 840K)

>mad
>Just won a CL
Stay mad other 'top 6' irrelevant shitter

>no Dele

Dele will be on the bench when we get Lo Celso anyway

No lo celso. eriksen staying. getting a new striker instead

>top 6 irrelevant.

There’s a top 4 of teams who have won multiple PLs

Then a lower 2 of teams who won it once

Then irrelevant

>Almost as deluded as Liverpool fans

OH NO NO NOOOOOO LIVERPOO BTFO lmao kek

I dare you to name a more talented strikeforce than Josip Drmic and Teemu Pukki.

youtube.com/watch?v=tpEKPRQyP84

Attached: _107519303_capture.jpg (1024x575, 49K)

Drmic has been dead for years

I'm interested to see how Pukki will do in the Prem. Great in the Championship, could have done better at Celtic, so we'll see. Wish him the best though.

Messi Neymar Suarez?

Kane, Son, Dybala

Hey lads remember this?

Attached: B925795F-A12E-46F6-9880-FB69D6545522.png (585x665, 616K)

Kek
LOUIS VAN GAAL’S ARMY! LOUIS VAN GAAL’S ARMY!

Attached: 13FA839B-FC3D-4C6A-9304-896D9C61AA27.png (598x398, 301K)

Imagine being so upset at losing the league you literally cry. Pretty gay if you ask me

Attached: 018F8D00-8656-42E6-91FA-FC08CA9BDF06.jpg (279x181, 10K)

please seek help

Kek. Not seen this one

kek I bet the one Liverpool fan here is seething right now

I will seek help when Liverpool win the premier league (never)

haha nice one 8

>15 mins
>0-0
cringe

Lads. All this talk of Liverpool being a big club, surely they've won the domestic league they've played in recently. Can anyone remind me the last time Liverpool won the Premier League title? It seems to be slipping my mind.

BWAHAHA OH NOOOOO LIVERPOOO BTFO

>29 mentions of Liverpool in this thread

twitter-tier humour or worse

Sharp and McGoldrick

Educate an amerifat, has Liverpool ever won premier league soccer?

>Napoli 2
LIVERPOOL ARE GETTING RELEGATED

Someone add one to this pic pleeas

Attached: lfc 2.png (800x400, 35K)

>

[La Gazetta dello Sport] Tottenham Hotspur summer target Paulo Dybala has demanded big money to leave Juventus.

Dybala supposedly wants a salary of between £8M & £9M a year in order to quit the Allianz Stadium with Spurs boss Mauricio Pochettino a long-term admirer.

The coveted netspend trophy

>£8M & £9M a year
kek Levy aint paying that much

huge fan of us luring city into a false sense of security with these pre-season performances before we announce mbappe and win the league with 109 points

Why does a juve bench player think he can demand that much

should we watch sleepy hollow or training day this evening?

Because the match had a gimmick of 'one extra point per goal scored' which encouraged attacking movement to make sure it wasn't a semen slurper.

If the choice is only those two, Training Day.

It's roughly the salary Kane is on. It's not impossible.

Lol no. Not even once

Kek. It’s over for Liverpool

>Losing to Napoli

>Caroline Flack
fancied her since Bo Selecta and Fash FC
youtu.be/C33NYx83KD8?t=26

One of the most 6/10s imaginable

bo selecta was fucking great, would love them to do another series with celebs from now

She’s old as fuck

She was so fit in Bo Selecta

Fash FC was about 2003

bo selecta went to shit when it included the celebs he was mocking

It's time for Origi to leave la
Any lower prem teams want him?

Liverpool won't want to be playing in Scotland again any time soon.

yup, series 3,4 and 5 were fucking gash

>3-0
Woah

I don't know. I re-watched some Bo Selecta a while ago and most of it has aged really badly. I think for the most part, we remember it as funny because most of us were 12 or in our teens back then. Can't stand Celebrity Juice or any of the other stuff matey boy's done so it's best to just leave Bo Selecta as a memory. The Spiderman 2 trailer still makes me laugh though.

youtube.com/watch?v=aCusx2WahoU

>that wolves thread solely being the yank wolves bandwagoner and the absolutely irritating portoposter talking to each other
this shouldn't piss me off but it does

>classic comedy moments like 'the bear has an erection'

kind of scared about how we're going to perform in the prem before sadio and mo come back
we do not have any quality in depth whatsoever

Losing in August la

Salah's back tomorrow.

luckily there are a lot of absolutely shite teams in the premier league but still i'm thinking we might struggle early on

Gonna lose the community shield :(

Makes you wonder how Leigh Francis still has a career of any sort.

Get your excuses in now la

bbc.co.uk/sport/football/49145007

Kompany out

genuinely couldn't care less
hope it gets rained off or something

Bruno is being announced after this game la

I want to beat City!

they don't need any new signings btw

A lot of people are easily amused. Frankly there's only a handful of British comedies that have been worth a fuck since the turn of the millennium.

they've just announced one

Is Martinelli gonna be first team for Arsenal? He scored on his debut, scored today but was rule off-side and I think he provided an assist a few days ago? He seems a decent buy for £6m.

Doubt he'll start over Nketiah

Didn't he just sign a new contract?

United don’t make announcements regarding signings on weekends.

He's not worth that. Never seen the appeal for him.

Why haven’t Sporting CP announced their team for 19:00 kick off. Wanna see if Bruno is in the squad

Neymar going to Liverpool?

chucking it down lads
slightest rumble in the distance
fingers crossed for a big old storm

Wesley, Trezeguet and Jota

Anderlecht seem like a pretty decent club, why would they take a stupid risk like this?

>Bruno is being announced after this game la

He wouldn't be playing if he was leaving

Attached: 1563321429706.png (602x453, 266K)

Is he? Pls confirm

lads would you rather have a big dick that had trouble getting hard sometimes, or an average sized dick that was diamonds whenever it needed to be

Second

Teams are out

Sporting: Renan; Thierry Correia, Coates, Mathieu, Borja; Doumbia, Bruno Fernandes, Wendel; Raphinha, Vietto e Bas Dost.

Valencia: Doménech; Wass, Garay, Diakhaby, Salva Ruiz; Kondogbia, Parejo, Jason Remeseiro; Gonçalo Guedes, Manu Vallejo e Maxi Gómez.

>a big dick that had trouble getting hard sometimes
have that now. Havent had sex in years anyway

Post source can’t find this shit anywhere

I have the former and it's fucking frustrating.

>tfw averaged sized dick that has trouble getting hard

>can't get hard
easily and cheaply rectifiable
>small willer
just incredibly pathetic and there's nowt you can do about it

same lads I secretly asked the question to see if anyone else had the problem too

From the Sporting Facebook page

Attached: 67639650_10156123957231555_9114984203518214144_n.jpg (640x960, 143K)

rojadire.com/soccer/sporting-valencia-rd1ec566?l=1494289640

Here you have it, live, if you don't trust me

he said average
but in fairness he also said sometimes

city break to paris next weekend lads
cannot bloody wait, my favourite place in the entire wide world

Part of it is probably mental for me. Tbf I was with a really nice mommy-type gf and I always managed to shag because she was patient and nice

Stop watching porn. It will come back.

It's 99% of the time just mental.

Would pochettino stay at tottenham if he knew in advance he'd only be getting one player this summer?

Not losing Eriksen is like signing a new player

Attached: stannis.png (666x733, 354K)

Seems to like it there and they still have some good players. Might leave next summer anyway

Don't know where he'd go really

None of the teams that would be a step are hiring. If united sack ole then going there from spurs would be a step down

>Don't know where he'd go really
Argies must be due a new manager

Are they even the same position? I thought Martinelli was an attacking mid?

Hm. But they did also lose the league with only 1 (ONE) loss, surely that deserves a trophy?

International football is the first step to retirement, give him a few years

Remember lads, if a win got you two points instead of one like they used to, Liverpool would have won the league this season

You love to see it

Must be boring as fuck when you've been a club manager.

>67 points
>67 doal difference
what does it mean

If Liverpool got more points than Man City last season, they would have won the league

Really makes you think

But that sounds easy, all they needed to do was score more goals than they conceded. How was it not a piece of piss? They must be a terrible team

You get a nice few cushy corporate boxes during league matches to watch potential players to call up then get to visit a nice country once every 2 years

Sound pretty good 2bh

Kek. Good one

Can't believe the ABL meltdown is still going this strong, 2 months after they won the biggest trophy in world football

>Liverpool have failed to win any of their last four pre-season matches and only have a friendly against Lyon to play (Wednesday, 18:00 BST) before they take on Premier League champions Manchester City in the Community Shield on 4 August.

Attached: 7cd54527.png (400x550, 300K)

Zidane is out in December. Tuchel is out at the end of the season. Kovac too.

Yoinking this picture for Newcastle around November time

>fash fc
based, this is up on youtube now
john fashanu NEEDS to manage in the PL

>Villa now linked with Walter Benitez and are expected to announce Marvelous Nakamba tomorrow

Jesus Christ, I splash a lot of cash on payday but this is getting out of hand

I thought these names were made up

>imagine thinking it’s the ABLs in meltdown

>Win the CL
>Sign two children

Bet they spent the prize money on scratchards and baccy lmao

Villa might have the ultimate funny name eleven next season with Wesley, Trezeguet and Douglas Luiz

Please don't remind me about hearthstone

twitter.com/i/status/1155496174390001664
wahey

Win: 2 points
Draw: 0 points
Lose: -1 points

Thoughts?

Attached: Scarecrow.png (1366x768, 855K)

He 100% deserved that

>Emery said they're looking to sign a centre-back
Except he won't. They could sign Tierney and a CB. But won't.

Attached: giphy (6).gif (360x222, 965K)

Away win: 3 points
Home win: 2 points
Draw: 1 point
Away loss: 0 points
Home loss: -1 point

All rules should be kept exactly the same except you shouldn't get any points if you draw 0-0

>getting points for a draw
Trash

win: 1 point
draw: 0 points
lose: 0 points

3000 points for a win
1000 for a draw
11 for every goal scored
-10 for every goal conceded

phwoar the yanks would be all over that

>still singing after getting shoved off a train and almost getting seriously hurt/killed
Based

Multi-ball

Yeah we could just keep it as it is because that works

only if it cuts to adverts every ten minutes

top bantz

Change scoring a goal to be worth 10 points
Add another goal either side of the current one
Make them all round so it takes more skill to get the ball into them
Give the defenders baseball bats
Put a tiny ball on a drone that flies around, if I player can catch it they get 150 points and the match ends

Think I've fixed football 2bh

Btw Howard Webb is trans

>No fun allowed

one midget player each team

women only in goal

Players take a shot every time a corner is given

no keepers for penalties but the kicks are taken from the opposite penalty spot

All players, except for the goalkeeper, are blindfolded.
The ball has been modified to make a jingling or rattling sound.
Players are required to say "voy", "go", or something similar when going for the ball; this alerts the other players about their position.
A guide, positioned outside the field of play, provides instructions to the players.

This would be fun

Ball randomly explodes during extra time

rush goalies

Added time multiball would be amazing

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1564341051665.webm

a second pitch going across the first pitch has a u10 game being played on it simultaneously

Introduce five aside rules like "goalie when needed"

All VAR decisions go to a randomly selected pub

love it

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After you score a goal, you get to take penalty from either the penalty spot (1 extra goal), the edge of the D (2 extra goals) or the halfway line (5 extra goals).

Just had a muller lemon tart yoghurt
Pretty much mind blowing.

all var decision are communicated to the stadium by jonathan pearce after he's seen them through a laggy 360p stream

monkey tennis

Team sheets and player positions are randomised from the teams registered squad, players will be penalised for playing out of position

Faster players get handicapped like horses do and have lead plates strapped to them to make it fair for defenders

I'm not sure what thread you think this is

underrated

Why can't Everton find a decent striker ? That's basically all they need to have a decent team.

/trans/ right? A prejudice free area

Name a decent striker they could get maybe Callum Wilson, Dembele (Lyon)??

Penalties taken like they are in hockey

Unironically Sturridge.
Arnautovic.
Could have got Haller.

Literally all of them are no better than what they have

lukaku

Lads. Who do you think will get booted from love island tonight? I think it’ll be Anton even though it will kill me. I love Anton.

That’ll be £79 gorrillions please

Their only actual striker able to play upfront is Tosun, he's championship tier.

Exactly. Better than the ones you listed.

All are decent PL quality player. Tosun isn't that, Tosun is fucking shit.

>watching love island
stop

>Stop liking stuff I don’t like!!!

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You’re french. You wouldn’t understand

Teams are required to field exactly 5 men, 5 women and 1 trans, or else automatic loss

Now this is something I could get behind.
What kind of tactics would teams like this use?

I guess you play men through the spine of your team and women on flanks

Kek this would be great. Imagine CR7/Zlatan slamming headers in against women goalkeepers

back 4 and striker are all men

tranny in goal

play hoofball

Ate some moldy bread, probably gonna die

>Rapinoe gets clattered by Harry Maguire
>career ending injury

You've really got to play a male GK so you only have 4 outfield men. I'd probably go for 2 CMs, the striker and one of the CBs being men then the tranny as the other CB and the rest women. Play a possession game but never pass to the women unless desperate or if its 100% safe

Javi Martinez would be GOAT playmaker in that format.

what about the referee, male or female?

Better than a career ending pregnancy by EBHM

This would be absolutely great. Thank you based Dimitar

lel

Male. This isn’t a joke.

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Somebody call FIFA now

Business idea: make the League Cup 6-a-side

Community Shield & Super Cup are played by fans of the two teams involved and not the players themselves

YES

>Mousa Demebele has no regrets about leaving Tottenham for China, despite his former club reaching the Champions League final last season.
>"For my wife at the beginning it was a bit difficult because she loved London. The language is hard but now she really enjoys it. It's always negative to be a bit far from your family but she enjoys the rest of it."
Wow, first time I've seen a wife of a football say she loved London.

>say you're a fan
>turn up
>score own goals, punch opposition best player in face and break their leg
BRILLIANT.

>fat blokes constantly falling over
>smarmy twats trying to be the next Ronaldinho get smashed by a bunch of builders
would be top banter

>all 22 players lie about their allegiance
>just becomes a mass brawl
>gets highest TV ratings of all time

>fan cups
Isn't that just The People's FA Cup?

Liverpool will struggle making top four this season

I'd watch that desu.

Teams involved in a 0-0 draw get deducted points based on how many shots on target they each had

>0 shots O/T = -6 points
>1 shot O/T = -4 points
>2 shots = -2
>3 shots no points loss if its the first game this season to have happened. Otherwise -1 for every game after
>4+ shots O/T no points loss ever

that's played on a five-a-side pitch

Yeah but isn't it roughly the same thing? I've wanted to do it but d i s a b l e d. Not severely.

I was talking about a full 11-a-side game.

Dunno why they've not done one t b h.

Im sure theres a disability/retard cup run by the FA

Yeah sure there is, but I probably wouldn't count. Government says I am disabled but not enough for a badge.

thefa.com/get-involved/player/disability/disability-cup-overview

Just did a fart that lasted over 10 seconds

>the Klopp philosophy

Manure’s Jew bossed would let him spend £150m at least but doubt Poch wants to get exposed. Better to be at a club with zero expectations

If you’re legally disabled I dont see why you wouldnt be allowed. And if the FA say no just sue the shit out of them for discrimination

Run faster!

there is a world record for longest fart which is 2mins and 48seconds.

in extra time each team is allowed an additional twelth player who has to balance on their own crossbar and throw barrels at the opposing forwards

Just introduce a shot clock

Could we have an ebin 4chin plot and get a man to pose as a tranny to get into a disabled womens tournament and have him snap a few legs.

Would be untouchable as well

that's a shite idea

Would the 12th man be black cause that might cause problems

One that says “you have had 0 shots you bunch of shitcunts” yeah?

That’s quite incredible.

The longest poo in the world is like 7.92m (23ft). A woman did it. Haha. Imagine.. haha.

imagine how it felt for her to push that out of her arsehole and if it made her a bit wet haha

haha, imagine the smell haha... imagine how long it took to come out haha, imagine it, just imagine it haha... maybe she came? haha, as a joke like, haha.... imagine how heavy it was haha...

Liverpool are pretty average without the three stooges/divers....VAR is going to restrict them to about 80 points this season. Could get second, but they won't match last years dodgy points total lol

>Scatlan got banned again
Lmao good, fuck off.

I once made a woman take a shit on the toilet while I watched. I also once made a woman suck my dick while I took a shit on the toilet

Grim.

A blokin. Someone at school got one

Maybe he just isn’t posting tonight?

The re-adjusted table had Liverpool just 2 points behind city.
Liverpool rely on their fullbacks and attackers to score goals, Origi is fookin shite and Mingolet was in goal, what did you expect, Andre?

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Nah he's here, I just remembered he got b& again. He just evades anyway.

>Slovak came back
>nobody cared
>we now have Spurs Frog, Spurs Yank and Spurs Swede, former two are retarded shitposters
>we have a Scatalan who is a liberal retard
/trans/ is dire.

Yea Forums is dire, i just come here out of habit now

Liverbros, is it time to worry?

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You forgot the awful Irish Liverpool fan.
He kills every thread for about 25 posts when he’s around

this coming season, I predict:
>arsenal to finish in the top 4
>city to not do quite as well as people expect (but still probably win the league)
>spurs to look like they're going to win the league at one point before fucking it up immensely
>liverpool to have a dodgy start, but then a 'surge' that ends with three draws in a row against midtable fodder
>frank lampard to not be as bad as people think he will be (but not pull up any trees either)
>man united to descend into some kind of laughing stock when everything goes wrong and they keep getting beat 3-0 until Ole is gone
>wolves to finish 6th but win both domestic cups
>sheffield united to get relegated on the final day of the season
>me to still not have a gf
>I don't get on the teacher training course
>lose all self respect
>stop going to the gym and wait for death
what about you lads

It was time to worry 30 years ago when you stopped winning league titles.

Looked good when the kids came on.

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>liverpool to have a dodgy start
>all the teams Liverpool are playing are basically in a relegation scrap
???

and?

Attached: footeh.jpg (1024x577, 54K)

For me, its;
>Man City win the league at a canter
>Spuds and Liverpool 10+ points behind in whichever order
>Shock entry into 4th
>Arsenal, Chelsea & Manure all outside top 4
>Newcastle, Palace, Brighton go down
>Wolves to go far in europe but not win anything and finish bottom half
>Leicester to win League cup

Win: 15 points
Draw: 10 points
Lose: -6 points

win: 7 points
score draw: 3 points
scoreless draw: 1 point

this would make football infinitely better, with a much greater focus on attacking

win: 5 points
draw: 1 point
lose: 0 points
score goal: 1 point

Haha

I don't think it'll be a shock entry. But I don't think Arsenal will be in Top 4, even as a fan, because defence is shit. Even if they sign Tierney. They should be signing Tah. But they won't. Tah + Tierney would make them good enough for Top 4 I think. Chelsea aren't as bad as people think and I their youths are good enough to make them Top 4. United are floundering with signings. Why aren't they signing quality players? Spurs, Liverpool and City are defo Top 4 but dunno who else could do it. Wolves probably. Unless newly promoted guys signed top quality players nobody else know about.

Win: you win, they lose
Draw: Each side nominates a player to draw a picture of a dog. Goes to VAR to decide who did the best labra-doodle

>Klopp says Ryan Kent will not be loaned out this summer, only sold. ”The time is over, I think, for loans, because of his age. The players need to find a place where they can settle. A loan is not an option."
F

Premier League clubs are actually profitable, even with the retarded wages. As long as you remain in the PL, it's a source of income

I hope you get a gf user

Arsenal is owned by a guy who makes bank off it and uses it as collateral to fund his other business empires. It was put down as collateral when he bought a $1bn horse ranch. Which is why he hasn't put a single penny of his own money into helping the club. Every single player Arsenal buys and pays for is funded via their own income. The problem is, they are now unable to expand a stadium that they fill every week because London City Council won't allow it unless Arsenal pay for the expansion of the train station. Which the owner won't. I dunno how much it'd cost, but it could allow another 10,000 or so seats built. Which would be insane amount of income, but no. Arsenal should have built a stadium with 90,000+ potential because it's the only way they can make money.

>Ryan Kent
Who?

22 year old prospect la

>Co-Op advert
Shan't be buying anything from them.

Have sex haha

Except Kane can score goals

why not? isn't the coop like a nice democratic socialist movement?

>Liverpool are so great at developing talent.
>literally 1 academy product plays for them

Spurs are not definitely top 4.

Hoever will be starting every week when Trent gets injured mid-season again.

>who is joe gomez

Reminder that GD is a much better performance rating than points

yeah, but the second best centre half in the league is a liverpool academy product

(conor coady)

A charlton player la

how'd you figures that?

>buy our strawberries to support LGBT+ people, like Liverpool Pride Foundation!
No thanks. No thanks.

how do you reckon the universe will end? do you reckon it will at all?

huh, dont remember him being good enough to start for the european champions at charlton, infact pretty sure he joined the academy and then got developed

Because it accurately represents a team's performance instead of just assigning 3 points for every victory, no matter how big of small

oh you're one of them

Just rewind and start again.

but the aim of football is to win the game, not outscore you're opponent by x many goals

Not a Liverpool academy product

t. homo

Lad, don't be an idiot.

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But that doesn't accurately represent a team's performance you nonce
Imagine team A and B playing against C. A plays beautiful attacking football and wins 6-1, B scores a blooter and then parks the bus for 70 minutes
Why should they both be awarded 3 points?

are you forgetting premier league star jordan ibe

Oh yeah Dybala sure

but if team a loses the next week whilst team b wins two games in a row, why should team a get more points?

NEED sex lads

Attached: Gf.jpg (1079x1317, 1.04M)

Because they played better overall

he spent two years at academy level for liverpool, he is therefor a product of the liverpool academy
to most people this is a perfectly reasonable statement, to an ABL however its worse than calling their mother a whore

but they lost more games?

bizarre ethnicity on this one. not opposed to it, but difficult to place

Top kek. He’s a cunt. I work at a 5* hotel in central London and he turns up drunk and alone in his black matte lambo most Saturday nights asking for a room

What are some sword badges like Sheffield and Chartlon

On the subject of Jordons, whatever happened to Jordon Mutch?

Apparently last place he played was South Korea.

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For me, it's Hazard.

Attached: hazard.jpg (850x628, 62K)

joe gomez is not a liverpool academy product, he was just an irrelevant/shit player before moving to liverpool

think ronaldo before he went to madrid

Kek. He was in the first team squad the year he signed for them. He literally played in the premier 2 months after signing for them. I think he assisted in his 1st game.

>think ronaldo before he went to madrid
which one

yes liverpool academy players are given shots with the first team, this is why they are such an attractive proposition to young talent

i meant cristiano obvs
ronaldo was a world cup legend before moving to madrid

This is either a very good troll or an incredibly stupid person.

Thats sad

ikr
working as a busboy lmao

Do you reckon you could beat the cube

at footy? nah, that lad scored an overhead kick in the european championship

Public attendance is very minor part of a club income nowadays
Thinking it would change anything is a big mistake
Look at Barcelona's yearly report for more info, they have a 100k stadium and memberships and attendance are ~15% of their budget
Modern clubs could play in empty stadiums and their economies would barely notice it

Bait?

Actually I’m at an HoD level right now

are we dead yet

>play manager mode
>sell all non first team ngubus
>buy 3-4 world class players
>win everything
why don't they just do this?

Liverpool’s title hopes are

but they haven't even started!

A lot of Ngubus are good.

>Milan lost to Benfica in the International Champions Cup
>Adel Taarabt scored the only goal
you now remember Adel Taarabt

Tell Kloppo that
>wahhhh city are living in fantasy land
>I will never spend loads of money
>spends loads of money on players

this

shithouse clubs like bournemouth could play in front on an empty stadium and it would have minimal impact

Talented boy
scouse mentality

new

lad I suck dick whenever I'm bored and I miss that LGBQT3.14 shit wherever possible