Previous thread: Main Card Pay-per-view, 10 p.m. ET Max Holloway vs Frankie Edgar - for the UFC Featherweight Championship Cris Cyborg vs. Felicia Spencer Geoff Neal vs. Niko Price Olivier Aubin-Mercier vs. Arman Tsarukyan Marc-Andre Barriault vs. Krzysztof Jotko
Preliminary Card ESPN, 8 p.m. ET Viviane Araujo vs. Alexis Davis Hakeem Dawodu vs. Yoshinori Horie Seungwoo Choi vs. Gavin Tucker Deiveson Figueiredo vs. Alexandre Pantoja
Preliminary Card ESPN+, 6:30 p.m. ET Sarah Frota vs. Gillian Robertson Erik Koch vs. Kyle Stewart
>COACH COACH HELP ME COACH >COACH HE ROLLING VIERD COACH >COACH HIM ELBO HART >TONY BROTHA I JOKE BROTHA I EM STUPET FUNNY GAI PLS BROTHA >COACH HELP ALI HEEEELLPPP AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>Ops Maxie, my bad, I almost exposed your "miniblessed" to everyone!! Now wouldn't it be sad if a year later your hawaian """snake""" would be caught on camera haha
>m-muh elbows >proceeds to get mounted while Loo Lee still had gas, throws two elbows that did nothing and gets GnPd like a bitch while flailing his arms impotently
Is that considered a bad thing? I thought it was better to have small flacid but big erect than to have a big flaccid but it only gets an inch or half when erect
Samuel Ward
Max share his son's tee-ball cup.
Ryan Gutierrez
why is everyone calling cutbabbaway a dicklet? didnt he have his junk covered?
Blake Barnes
People are retarded, by time the woman has moved he has his penis covered by his left hand to the side, that's why all you can see is pubes
Lucas Robinson
>didnt he have his junk covered? yeah with his pubes
Parker Stewart
Someone knows something though because they all said he had a small penis when Gaethje flashed him but he had both hands cupping it
Why is Cyborg such a cringeworthy unlikeable cunt?
Joshua Peterson
Max would just eat that and clap. Really want Ortega to beat Zombie but I can't see it, worse striking, hittable, worse wrestling and pretty equal bjj honestly.
Daniel Barnes
in the embedded Max was doing touchpads in the park and driving around Ferraris, Dustin was training like a munster and getting his hair cut at the local black guy barbershop
Zachary Jenkins
>mmanlets discuss penis sizes of fighters I know this "sport" is suspect by nature but this is a different level
Yeah, he ate all of Dustins shots. KZ has nothing for him, would get lit up. His takedowns are pretty trash as well Yair stuffed all of them.
Camden Martin
Based.
Nicholas Foster
show your dick pussy
Jose Lewis
>he ate all of Dustin's shots This is exactly why is chin is flushed
Ethan Rogers
Hmmmmm I dun no bout dat one chief Masvidal was a free win for Till, a much smaller guy who doesn't finish fights, Till could've just used his reach to win a decision, somehow he still lost. This is the opposite, maybe Ortega will win then.
>Nigga tries to heem me >eat shot >clap Unheemable
Luke Young
The hands comes down fast but you can see the pube and lack of a normal size dick before he quicly covers it (because he got a very small penis and doesn't want other people to see it)
Nah Conor, Aldo, Aldo, Dustin His chin will be flushed by me but it isn't yet
Christopher Robinson
>it's so small there is literally a void of time and space surrounding it
Michael Martinez
i always forget he ate that headkick from Stephens as well
Hunter Thomas
>Colby post a genuinely funny tweet. tounge-in-cheek >WHOdley blows a gasket seething Lmao Colby is living in this fool's head rent free.
Landon Young
Korean Zombie has looked nothing but good since returning. Outside of the biggest fluke victory in the history of the UFC he has dominated every second of every fight since he got back. TKZ will heem T-CTE, Hellagay, and Canbib back to back to back before moving to boxing and avenging Tenshin and Conor. You literally cannot disprove any of this.
Haha imagine having a tiny dick lol that would be weird
Mason Bailey
He looked trash against Yair, slightly outpointed him, never rocked him, never looked good. Even Felder said it could be 2-2. The idea he was dominating him is a weeb fantasy. Then he gets sloppy and gets slept by a much more likeable fighter. Get over it.
Jeremiah Reyes
Looking forward to Conor getting absolutely blasted tonight and making fun of Min's dick on twitter. There is a reason the goob always worked up a half chub before doing the weigh ins
Eli Richardson
>gets sloppy Come on, what was he supposed to do here? If you've watched mma before than you know as well as I do what Dana would have said if this fight saw the horn. "hurr durr no finish no bonus get in ther an fite" even felder was telling the fighters to fight it out, but when someone actually wants to do it they get shit on too. TKZ did what he has been told over and over he is supposed to do
Now that Min's penis size has been exposed, we can gather from their fight that Dustin is carrying a piece on him. It turns out his weakness is men with bigger dicks tham him. Aldo must literally have no dick.
I'm fucking hyped. 10 fucking bongs till some degenerate nerds throw down and put their lives on the line for my entertainment. Tomorrow morning I will be cosy in bed, shit-posting with you sorry fucks, and Dana's even booked a WMMA fight just in time for brekky.
Landon Jones
> yo put your hands up > you're gonna have to repeat your question because I was looking around for you the whole time > *laughing* > are you done? Are you guys done?
i came into this thread thinking, "of course it's all about a fighter's cock." but seeing the video is completely disturbing. where is it? he doesn't have any genitalia. there is nothing there. was it removed?
Jaxon Rivera
Scatter, go on, nothing to see here hehe
Nolan Hernandez
>tfw you realise Maxine probably has the same size dick as Rush
i'm not body-shaming him and i think he's one of the greatest fighters out there. but i'm genuinely concerned that he doesn't have any penis or balls. it looks like he has just a dense patch of pubes covering up a Ken doll smooth crotch. is he okay?
Jaxson Torres
well he has a kid and is dating a supermodel so i mean u do the math b
A study was conducted in America that compared penile length with a whole bunch of demographic facts, such as race, sexual orientation, income, education, etc.
It is quite an interesting study. To date, I believe it is the most comprehensive, largest, and as far as I am aware only study ever undertaken to measure penis-size and its relationship to race.
According to the study, here are the average measured penis sizes by length in centimeters from largest to smallest.
Native Hawaiian/Other Pacific-Islander : 14.88cm Black/African American : 14.66cm White/Caucasian : 14.18cm Asian American : 14.14cm Hispanic/Latino : 14.13cm Other : 13.79cm American Indian : 12.86cm
Imagine being a member of the ethnic group with the largest hogs on planet earth and being cursed with a Smalloway lol
This fight card is the bearer of the UFC's destiny; of the UFC's future or it's fall. Already the UFC's enemies cry out today: The UFC shall fall! Yet Dana White can give only one answer: THE UFC WILL LIVE! And hence the UFC will win! In the end HEEMs will be the victor in this struggle, and HEEMs are with us.
Don't refer to Min's penis as a micro dimension again okay? The reveal is still raw
Ryan Cooper
>Welshman Paul Davies, 30, set up a Tinder profile under the pseudonym Aaron Edwards, claiming to be a penthouse apartment owning Audi dealer, and using a photo of Cody Garbrandt. He claimed a cash machine had swallowed his card, requiring a passport to get it back, and he needed money to visit his hospitalized grandfather. Over a year he scammed eight women in order to feed a gambling addiction, and by the looks of it, himself. Amounts were £8,558, £6,300, £1,070, £140, £100, £60, £28 and £20, totaling over US $20,000. At the time he was on probation for previously defrauding a woman of £5,553 ($6,900). Paul 'No Love' Davies has been sentenced to 34 months and must serve a minimum of 17.
Which almost past-it fighter unironically has it in them for one more run at the strap brother
Jackson Walker
Only 3 ranked fighters in a PPV card... Yikes.
Ethan Peterson
What do you expect, people here are fucking losers, they are grasping at straws
James Butler
Ok Max is now my favourite UFC fighter. He has a dick like that but is still a very peaceful, respectful positive force. I'd be out flipping cars and voting a nigger in for President if I had a dick like that.
Zachary Phillips
Wish I had a penis ~ :3
Bentley Baker
I have braces and i would like to train without sparring. I am looking for a school/art with emphasis on: technique, endurance, strength, spirituality/mindfulness. I don't care what it is whether boxing, bjj, krav, ... as long as i progress with strength, technique, endurance and so on. What do you recommend?
Brody Russell
I can give you one x3
David Myers
lmao where the fuck is his ballsack? Is Min a eunuch?
Lucas Evans
KZ should have heemed yair when he puts his hands up to buy time. Smart move by Yair, but tactical blunder by KZ.
Bentley Johnson
at least my girl gillian is fighting :) and headlining the stacked early prelim card
Samuel Butler
based take the minpill
Juan Lewis
Grower not a Shower is a myth
Flaccid stretch length is almost directly correlated with erect length.
>Almost directly correlated You just undid your argument. The fact there is not a direct correlation means there are growers, however, the majority of people are showers.
Dylan Watson
Oh yeah?
Angel Thomas
my flaccid length is actually bigger than my erect length, what i lose in length i more than gain in girth, i go from test tube to beaker in a quarter mile
about the same. but what kills me is that I have different boner sizes depending on what I'm watching or who I'm with. If it's a smoking hot girl I'm rock hard but if it's a 5/10 i lose about 1 inch
Adam Smith
its a really poop card i hoope for some heems
Caleb Kelly
>tfw boner is 6 inches long but 6.5 in girth Feels bad to have a chode man
do you not realize even your tiny dick varies in size retard? you not a standardized way of measuring.
great interpretation stats man. Yes bro, your tiny dick is fine, it falls in the grower category with an insignificant margin of growth differential compared to big dicks
Christopher Cox
I'm running cycles of Hims and Nugenix Total-T AMA
I even remember McGregor congratulating him on Twitter. Am I mixing him up with someone?
Angel Reed
Post sexy images of Herrig, please
Cameron Roberts
McGregor said it should have been him to knock out Edgar not Ortega. He called him a great fighter but Edgar never retired. It was just the first time ever he was knocked out and everyone was shocked.
Most people are overweight so it makes sense to me.
Thomas Howard
it's amazing the level of cope involved in men self measuring penis size. it's real, its just men measure themselves incorrectly and delude themselves
Connor Flores
Are you legitimately surprised that 4 channel does not realistically portray dick size
Dylan Clark
>UFC main event is Former LW champ vs Current FW champ >All /heem/ is talking about is dicks
This is why I love this place.
Cameron Price
Is Max actually average then?
Benjamin Wood
>expecting McGregor to defend his title cazzie out
Connor Price
it's bone pressed
Anthony Ramirez
Lack thereof
Eli Reyes
it surprises people like me who cant comprehend why someone would brag anonymously. just naive i guess
Jordan Reed
%100 real, most people are that size, and the rest are slightly bigger but not by alot. Only a rare few have XL cocks or micro cocks. Basically dont listen to a bunch of basements dwellers that dont get laid so dick size is irrelevant for them
Colton Walker
>is this one of those studies that is supposed to make everyone feel big? If it is, it's not working.
I'm a legit 7.5" and the last girl i was with told me it wasn't big and she's had much bigger. What the fuck? I really wish I never asked her, because my mental is fucked for life now. Those average dick stats/studies can't be true.
David was a pretty ordinary looking guy, kinda quiet - but John was tall, lean, muscular and (according to him anyway) was hung like a bull. He used to joke about it a lot - even around my girlfriend, Amy. Amy was a sophomore and was petite, shy and somewhat quiet. I didn't like it when John would make his "big dick" comments and jokes around Amy, but she told me she didn't pay any attention to him and truth be told, she really couldn't stand John.
Brandon Miller
post more, sick and tired of these insecure faggots talking about dick non stop since yesterday
you should have sucked him off in front of amy lol....you know, as a joke
Robert Davis
literally had no idea max was transgender
Carson Reed
I have a 5.5" dick and with Amy being so petite, it always seemed to do the trick. I was only the third guy she'd ever been with and only her second boyfriend - maybe my guard was just down but who knows.
Anyway, one Friday night, Amy and I were hanging out in my dorm room drinking, smoking some weed and watching TV. David and John had both gone home for the weekend - or so we thought. At about 1AM (Amy and I were pretty toasted by then), John walked in. He'd ended up hanging out with some of his friends off campus and had decided to just drive home in the morning since his parents only lived about an hour and a half away.
He could see that Amy and I were both pretty hammered. He grabbed a beer and sat down and we smoked somem more weed with him. Amy was pretty drunk and started giving John ****. John seemed to get a kick out of it and I could see him kinda flirting with Amy. Then I noticed (and hoped that Amy wouldn't) that John wasn't wearing any underwear.
But Amy started massaging my dick through my jeans and being so ****ed up, I just laid my head back and enjoyed it - I couldn't believe she was doing that right in front of John! I heard John get up to pass Amy the joint we were smoking and I heard her gasp, long and deep and she suddenly stopped stroking my dick. I opened my eyes and saw John standing righ tin front of Amy with a HUGE ****ing bulge in his pants - just inches from her face. The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.
Blake Jackson
it is what it is (or isn't)
Eli Morales
Would you ever date a girl that's stronger than you?
Logan Carter
nonironically that's paige's best win
Brandon Kelly
>Dear Penthouse, I used to think these letters were fake ...
>Max Holloway's Nickname is "BLESSED" >BLESSED HOLY KEK
Jack Price
I kinda get it as a fantasy but I think it would be tough in reality
Jacob Thompson
He just stood there and I could feel her hand tremble and hear her breathing quicken. when she slowly looked up at him, almost in awe and respect, I could feel my heart start to pound in my chest. Then she softly whispered "ohhhhhhhhhhh" as she gingerly reached up to brush her finger tips across that massive knot in his pants. When she touched it, it throbbed - **** I could see it throb thorugh his pants - Amy just gasped again and looked up at him.
"What?" John asked her and just kinda laughed. Amy did NOT laugh. Instead, she softly asked "can i see it?" John stopped laughing, looked at her very seriously and told her to take it out. Amy never even hesitated - or looked back at me for an "OK" - just just obeyed him and began to open his jeans. I coudl see her nipples rock hard under her t-shirt and I could tell she was practically panting.
She opened his jeans and his big thick dick just fell out...and he had NOT been kidding. That cock was strong, thick, heavy and muscular. The head was a big purple mushroom that sat on top of the thickest shaft i'd ever seen. He was semi-hard and was HUGE compared to me. Amy just gasped and kept whispering "ohmygod..ohmygod...ohmygod". When she wrapped her hand around it, her brow just knotted in disbelief and she almost laughed at how thick he was - her fingers couldn't even touch.
Jonathan Gonzalez
that shit was so telegraphed lmao, it was so slow you could see from a mile away
every time i see her, i just can't help but think of her getting GAPED by bbc
Benjamin Johnson
She could probably bench 100 pounds!
Matthew Cruz
Where is this from?
Parker Barnes
>dating a bum
Austin Brown
>Fridge Bin it
Alexander Mitchell
It's reddit spam.
Dominic Morales
Did Max Holloway just actually win the story of the fight?
Isaiah Sullivan
She sucked his dick until SHE came - just from sucking him! I stroked the whole time until he pulled her toward him, peeled off her pants (she didnt even make the slightest attempt to stop him) and sat her on his lap, her back to his chest - the two of them right next to me. She just rolled her head back to kiss him as he squeezed her tits through her shirt. Her hands went down and pushed that big cock against her pussy and she groaned so loud when it touched her that I thought people outside would hear.
John's dick was so ****ing big that he easily penetrated her from behind with her sitting on his lap. She arched up so she could take as much of it as she could and they started to **** right there next to me. It shocked me how easily her petite little body accomodated that horse cock of his. John pounded her in positions that i physically CANNOT do for over an hour - I have no idea how many times she came - she was even in tears a few times (though she never once told him to stop).
He asked her if she was on the pill and when she said she was on the patch, he told her that he was going to cum inside of her to mark her - which only made her cum again! when he finally came, he had Amy on her back, her legs shaking violently as they both came together - and true to his word, John dumped his seed deep up inside my girlfriend's pussy right in front of me. But **** - he didn't even lose his damn hard on! They ****ed for about another 40 minutes and he came twice more. Amy was a wreck by the time we all went to bed.
I will never forget the look on her face - like she was afraid of him and in love with him all at once - the whole time they ****ed. She later told me that there were no words to describe it - it was incredible but even that didn't seem enough. To my knowledge they never ****ed again and Amy and I dated for about another year before we finally broke up. I always wondered if she ended up with him or some other big dick guy.
Free money parlay of the night $$$ Cyborg via tko/ko + Max ML @ 1.62, free money, bookies hate me.
Chase Clark
This is ridiculous. If I'd ever date a strong girl at least I would expect her to protect me, not hurt me.
Jose Nguyen
based user saving this thread from all the faggotry
Aaron Howard
/simp/ general get some taste!
Kayden Morgan
MMA is a way to compensate for their size, so when they see a tall Chad they can say to themselves "one takedown and its over for this lanklet" all mma fighters i know are manlets who pick fights
This reminds me of that youtube video where girls can't even do one pullup
Daniel Garcia
I'd choke him out on the first round.
Dylan Robinson
oof that's a nice one, any names?
Carter Adams
When I was a kid and some guy was bothering me there was this girl in my class who came to protect me. Since girls already hit puberty she was bigger than the guy and scared him away easily. I felt really good and protected.
Justin Ross
Who's your favorite marxist mma analyst who blocks you if you tag a fighter he mentions?
That’s true. I can find about 15 in his weight class, the one below, and one above
Zachary Edwards
it was a joke derek you miserable dicklet
Justin Phillips
It's about how you use it b. You can make yourself seem bigger than you are. Think of someone like struve at HW vs someone like DC at HW. It's not just about size.
Owen Robinson
Paige was a lot cuter here.
Liam Fisher
We could if he ever fought
William Rodriguez
Max "Cursed" Holloway
Grayson Richardson
Rose took her soul after that beating
Austin Brown
All women look better without implants
Joshua King
getting punched in the face reduces your qt factor
how much more they get paid for thotting than fighters do for getting HEEM'd
Isaac Mitchell
*pffft*
Christopher Hill
reminder that Carlos Condit is ring girls' favorite fighter
Benjamin Phillips
fukken brootal
Isaac Morris
Fake chat to avoid looking at PVZ. That was about the time that everyone started zooming in on the people on stage and posting it everywhere so they were all very conscious of the camera
Yep, that's my parlay. The one i posted is for big betters since it's more safer but i personally have a second parlay exactly like yours. Another thing too add to my previous parlay is geoff neal/niko price Not to go the distance @ 1.22, add this to the parlay and you got 3 way parlay that is guaranteed basically.
We need new fighters in UFC, most of these look boring.
Caleb Richardson
JESUS that's spammy?
Lucas James
when women think a smallflsccid dick means you have a small dick period, i don't blame them most women don't see their partner's dick until they're hard
but when men make fun if other men's flaccid dicks it just doesn't make sense to me
you people are fucking retards
literally each and every one of you idiots has a dick and you all know that just because it's small flaccid, that doesn't nexessarily mean that they're small when hard too
case in point: me
when i'm flaccid and it's cold and whatever i can literally shrink down to 1.2-2.5" but when it's hard i'm 7.25"
