the four horsemen of the apocalypse edition
Results:
Sri Lanka beat Bangladesh 314-223
England beat Ireland by 143 runs
Australia Women beat England Women by 93 runs in a t20i
Upcoming:
28/07
Sri Lanka vs Bangladesh ODI
England Women vs Australia Women t20i
1/08
First Ashes Test
Other urls found in this thread:
youtu.be
youtube.com
youtube.com
youtube.com
youtube.com
emergingcricket.com
vocaroo.com
youtube.com
youtube.com
youtube.com
youtu.be
discord.gg
youtube.com
soundcloud.com
youtu.be
youtu.be
en.wikipedia.org
youtube.com
youtu.be
vocaroo.com
youtube.com
twitter.com
This is the thread.
>split thread
shant
HES BOWLS TO THE LEFT
Big fan of /cric/ tearing itself apart.
It’s absolutely pathetic MODS DELETE THIS SPAM
Cricminder.
*laughs at England women*
Have England selected their ashes squad yet?
>England
>Locking in a squad before the last minute
Not bloody likely, especially with the batting problems they have to solve
The four horsemen of the apoocalypse
I thought they were expected to do it after that Ireland test, though that just raised more issues
MODS MODS MODS
SPAM SPAM SPAM
MODS MODS MODS
Yeah I doubt they expected Ireland to skittle their batting lineup twice
And bear in mind England's saviour Jack Leach probably isn't even going to be in the Ashes
Sebbesity REALLY needs to get a life, Jesus this is painful to see
K E K
E
K
pretty rent free if you ask me
I genuinely think he’s one of those my 600lb life rejects who are at the computer 24/7
Won’t he be? Better spinner than ratshit and pooeen
Ashes will be Australia 5-0 correct?
Pretty sure Moeen is still a lockin despite forgetting how to bat entirely
Yeah I just checked Leach’s bowling stats lmao. He was good in that Sri Lanka series, though iirc every spinner did well there
And of course they won’t select him based off batting, there’s no way he repeats that, especially against a competent bowling attack
feels like a summers day lads
absolutely corked by climate change on the cards
>fatguts literally blithering to himself in his thread
Fuck polacks.
Could a wog in here tell me why Gareth Bale is such a big deal? Barely heard of him before and now I keep seeing all these articles about him
Might mow the lawns.
have sex
will James Pattinson play the first test lads?
Mowed the lawns.
your mum said she's busy today mate.
*le epic mum joke*
Ha good one user! You got him real good lol based!
in here yeah
why aren't you in your thread?
really excited about this new maskposting meme on Yea Forums
Grim.
Stop talking to me
thought you might be lonely and needing attention
how's your septic Edition thread going anyway?
No answer. what a grouch.
yeah I'm thinking he's on the ropes
for me it's never clicking the +
USA
reckon Pattison plays the first test
Warner
Bancroft
Wade
Smith
Handscomb
MMarsh
Paine (wk)
Starc
Cummins
Pattinson
Hazlewood
Lyon
>he doesn't filter Brazil
Looking good mate
>four quicks, mmarsh and lyon
are you retarded
he's australian mate, do you even have to ask?
won't be the retard when the ashes come home
wonder how paine feels about being eternally down the order
yes I'm sure the wicketkeeper hates being that far down the order
Who Montreal Tigers here?
i got nothing against HazleGOD but id like to see Pattinson play the first test
Amir Show officially over lads...
popping down to the shops anyone need anything?
Vegemite on a stick fed to me from the chafed thighs of a salty bogan who just wrecked his civic.
can you get me some gingernuts please m8 cheers, will pay you back on Thursday
Can you get me one massive evening of international rugby please m8.
got a ginger's nut right here mate
*mastubates over you*
bit gross
Hope to see the Commonwealth lads over on /rug/ this evening.
what game is on
NZ v RSA
AUS v ARG
in exactly 2 hours.
might go through the 2015 highlights to get hyped lads
*dies*
Post your ideas for a comfy mobile game that will look good on my resume. Srs replies 1nly pls
very sorry for everyone who couldn't make the official /cric/ meet last night
jessie ryder and mark vermuelen came through with the bongo, i'm still wired desu
better luck next time eh ohh unluggy uce
remember the australian redditor unironically pushing this meme
from left to right
>mitchell brainletbasher fart
>pat home babby cummins
>james broken back pattinson
>josh absolute shitter discount mcgrath hazlepoo
have cricket dumb spic
clean my feces
What about us. Come on we basically are even though we are not. Test nation now desu never forget 85
is this nigga for real? This reads like something from The Onion or some shit. Is he legit the most hateable person in World Cricket?
Lads I'm going have a piss.
Please make sure this wicket remains unperturbed while I'm gone.
Subcontinent focused grand strategy game
like Sengoku
amazon simulator
a game where you buy in-game objects for real money, and that is the game.
rank chuck from lara
fuck up josh
Back home lads.
Stick cricket
12 players you retard
Quintessentially British
a modified version of super international cricket
Whats with brits and alcohol? I'm pretty sure they started alcohol culture during Raj. We were a ganja nation back then.
What a brainlet
>Whats with brits and alcohol?
You seen Britain?
Might make some guacamole
>injured umpire
kek
here I'll save you the trouble
*vomits in a bowl*
>Night out in Brighton
He's lucky they only caught him drunk and fighting.
HOLY MOTHER OF BASED
>4 day test only lasts 2 days
fuming
Michael Vaughan's Cricket Manager, but for the mobile and updated with modern players and formats of the game. Used to love it desu, so if your programming ability is good enough I'd probably purchase it
Watching The Boys lads
Bad batting or good bowling?
Just love having a quick pint in the pub after work that's all
just remembered big andy caddick's bowling and run up
bizarre
Which was the GOAT cricket fiction from your youth lads? You fella did read these, right?
books are for nerds.
Based ICC
Why has cric gone so odd recently
>Bairstow wk
>Roy
>Moeen
>Denly
>No Leach
>No Sibley
Seething tbqh
>Reading books
lol
glory gardens were based, ohbert the epitome of the big brained cricketer
based BLC, international cricket captain 2 and the EA sports games
at least there's no vince
I'd long since forgotten all the characters desu, just remembered I used to enjoy reading them when clearing out my childhood room recently. Will force all of my children to read them, as and when they come along
We all know it will be
>Roy
>Burns
>Denly
>Root
>Bairstow
>Stokes
>Buttler
>Ali
>Woakes
>Broad
>Anderson
Starc and Cummins and the rest literally shitting themselves right now. Long days in the field ahead boys!
The POOr POOsmen of the aPOOcalypse
>no archer
>implying Archer will play
Unless someone gets injured he doesn't play the first test. He'll get picked when we're 2-0 down because of shit batting, replacing a bowler who's done nothing wrong
Tests are for white people. Sure, those stuffy English dickheads will let the black fellas play in the pyjama rubbish, but not tests.
For me, it's rugby league.
For me, it's Australia's brave Marnus Loosebuschange
for me? this is based
I see Sarah Taylor as a challenge, more than anything. Here is a woman, who, in every single aspect is absolutely revolting - her exterior AND her personality - yet, I can't help wonder what it would be like to plunge balls-deep into her, REPEATEDLY. That's right. Balls-deep. No protection. I won't lie, I'm extraordinarily hard typing this. I want to grab this.... thing.... and that's what Erin Molan is, let's not delude ourselves, a "thing"...... by the hips and ram in and out of her quivering, malformed cunt with the force of a gladiatorial chariot, while she makes stupid faces and contorts orgasmically, unable to control her bodily reactions even if she wanted to. I would ERUPT inside that corrupt and corrupting womb as though the entire fate of humanity depended on my seed penetrating the four walls of one of her ovaries, the electrical fusion from this coupling creating the Antichrist, as our combined, gutteral Chewbacca-like roars shattered walls and glass alike around us, the house toppling down as we lay there in a filthy, disgusting mess.
Mynew Lamborghini
torn up about Ireland losing
you fucked up the pasta dumb fuck
Holly a cute!
/ourfarty/
Pre-drinking before The Ashes
How come Richo never posts anymore?
bit early innit
this early? it won't be that bad a defeat
May as well numb the pain early
For me, it's Mick Hucknall, simply as
>actually thinking this
he's a lock in
cringey piers morgan tier post
Good to see they're finally picking some seam bowlers for English conditions rather than just new ball bowlers
Still miss him lads
love my oneplus desu
best phone ive had
iphone 5 was good but 7 was a disgrace
leach is very accurate and flights the ball well, but isn't a huge turner of the ball. moeen spins the ball a lot more so he's more effective taking wickets with the red ball, especially in england as he bowls quite fast so he gets more bounce than you expect.
should call him up for the first test, incase warner tries to bully root again based monty can piss all over him like he did that bouncer
For me, it's waiting to see Warnie bowl one last time only for Binga to break his hand in the last over
>When you remember Pozzstralia's best batsman is actually English
>fighting
pissed on a bouncer actually
Tbh I'm surprised non-anglos don't get on the piss as much as us, it's good fun simple as that
Cricket Captain mate?
only read the one book, it was about viet cricketers and unironically was called "NIPS"
mitch marsh was born in perth lad
> The spin wizard ran into the fast food outlet at around 4am on Monday morning after he allegedly urinated on bouncers outside clubbing hot-spot Shooshh. The Sussex player, who was in the England squad for the third Ashes test, sprinted through the doors shouting "help, help" while security guards chased him down. He put up a fight while six doorman tried to apprehend him, screaming "please, please, let me go", but was eventually carried back to the venue where he was held until the policed arrived.
absolute bender of a night
need to find me a bushpig to slam next weekend
shocking lack of homegrown talent in australia
not a single australian
Shan't be big brainlet blasting tonight
do aussies feel any sort of connection to the country of their ancestral origin
or is that just an american thing
only south asians I find
and balkanoids I suppose
shakib (c)
shakib (c)
shakib (c)
shakib (c)
shakib (c)
shakib (w) (c)
shakib (c)
shakib (c)
shakib (c)
shakib (c)
rajibul
*Saves English cricket* psst nothing personnel white boi
C R I C K E T
Norn Iron is commonwealth so we get a pass. We former commonwealth anyway.
>Mitch Marsh
>Not Nathan Lyon
come on mate, at least make it believable
literally no reason to drop big money on apc or acne when levi 511 exist, literally the perfect jeans
Daily reminder if you would choose right over left you don't belong on /cric/
for me, rollas skinny
much prefer them to my apcs which really are a bit shit all things said
apcs dont last at all. crotch blows and the pockets go early. acne a lot better but still may as well just cop levis 511
apcs fit like shit in the calves
my acnes lost their colour in like three months too
yeah, they have ones that don't lose their fade. good jeans desu, i have a pair that are like 5 years old. acne so overpriced nowadays though
bet morocco has a charismatic opening batsman or two up its sleeve
love lagers
love ales
love stouts
love kolshches
I am awake.
craving a zachybomb
mohammad amir, balding, erectile dysfunction etc
the uk already has a theoretical eu with canada, australia and the united kingdom. the idea that Mediterraneans are our 'european brothers' is completely ridiculous considering how culturally distinct we are from them. also they're actually are enemies, think of how many times UK and france have gone to war. england is wordlwide already, EU is germany's project because they have no global influence. this 'european brotherhood' idea is a totally ridiculous concept and is doomed to fail
Dear Bros.
sick of it lads
This. Let's just have another war and get it over and done with. Sick of the EU desu.
bruh, look at this batting average, oh no no no no HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
pro economic integration of europe in a common market
anti any political ties
simple as that
Still a better batting order than England's
AIN'T NO SUNSHINE WHEN SHE'S GONE
IT'S NOT WARM WHEN SHE'S AWAY
Your favourite Cricketing body?
Mine is Mark Cosgrove
Mark's current physique is very impressive. He has a naturally generous frame and his lack of a neck really complements this. Great defined jowls and calf muscles that could make any girl blush. An aspect I love of his body is his swaggering gait and his no-nonsense two day stubble growth. It really compliments his 'respected elder statesman' phase. I often find myself watching his matches just to stare at his sexy body. His stoic ability to refuse to run quick singles really showcases his pristine body. A complete joy to watch his laboured breathing and lowering run-rate. Sometimes I replay one of his many 15 minute long innings numerous times. His lowered eyes and sweaty, loose lower lip never ceases to excite me. Mark will forever be my 'boy toy'.
>Doubting England's brave batting order
Face facts, it's grim. No top 3, Root, Ali, and Bairstow's test batting has gone to shit.
Ah yes the elite T19
For me, it's got to be the T11
Sorry sweetie aren't you forgetting someone?
*Resurrects your innings* nothing personal, pozzies
>shirt number 100
grim
For me, its the cute little grunt he makes when he releases the ball
>dean jones on canada t20 commentary
based
>a refreshing coca cola time out
>"Come and make me grunt user xx"
Oi Kashmiri, you there m8?
Planning to visit the valley in December
sam curran has the face of a twat
if there was a kid with that face at school you would assume he was a nob-end on sight
Where is the stream for the canada t20, definitely not driving 2 hours to watch it
sammy got mogged
Just woke up
>when you're on the school trip and 'Sammo' takes one of your shoes, and you have to traipse around the Science Museum in one shoe, and then he says you can have it back if you beg in a girls voice, and you do that in front of all the girls, who all laugh and tell Sam to give it back, but he doesn't, and says 'maybe tomorrow', then the teacher arrives and asks everyone 'where is user's shoe?', and Curran says he found it on the floor, and the teacher can barely stifle his laughter and asks if 'Mr Curran can please return the shoe to Mr user'
For me, it's England's brave Amar Virdi
>"Hey user! You can have it back if you beg in a girls voice"
really do rate chris woakes and I think he will have a good ashes
For me, it’s Indian Stephen Fry
jacques kallis is the greatest cricketer of all time
>Amir retires from Test cricket
OH NO NO NO
*inhales*
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
based edmonton
>28 off 19
can the nationals do it?
tell me about manpreet gony
cricket in the moon when?
None of my friends texted me today so I've spent the evening getting drunk and shitposting in /brit/. Really think I've hit a new low tonight
Agree completely mate, tell this to my irl mates but they don't know what I'm going on about ant tell me to pipe down
you got to freshen up
don't you know
freshen up
peak amir was literally test cricket kino. kino action, a true test cricket purist knows he was destined for great things
not sure why you would laugh about him giving up, his tale is very sad. if anything you should be in mourning, we always knew his career was dwindling anyway so this retirement it's really not noteworthy, , the world has now officially missed out on its left armed Malcolm marshall, thats all
why dont you go to pakistan and suck his dick lad. maybe youll get some of that sweet spotfixing cash
fuck off zachy
so true
amir show now officially cancelled
might kill myself
Just watched this cricket kino
upvote
stop shilling this reddit trash deano
oooo it is amir bro
(be based)
>None of my friends texted me today
based
>so I've spent the evening getting drunk
elite
>and shitposting in /brit/
grim
What fatal flaw did I make lad? What should I have done instead of /brit/?
i'm so handsome.
shitpost in /cric/
I believe everything that is posted in /cric/
so SO true
an elite and muscular statement of fact this
Well I've got one bottle of homebrew left, my 8th overall, so I'm all yours for that
>Cheating paki retires
>"not sure why you would laugh about him giving up"
Yeah a real mystery
not sure if this is the bard from worcester or josh the chef from london
nice sport
he was extremely coerced
The former la, although unfortunately I live in London now and hate it
kill yourself you pole smoking faggot
Based bushpigbro
sweltering summer of 2010
A test cricket genius doesn’t retire in his 20s kek
You literally cannot refute this
>streetshitters still seethihg
inject this into my veins
amir is about 37
Can't remember the last time England had this weak a top 3 going j to an ashes series in living memory. Having sleepless nights about 133 all out first innings and 3 day tests.
for me it's thinking about jade dernbach opening the batting and hitting a double century
dam lad, do you just feel so much more safe and homely in worcester? london has its charms and all, its a sprawling metropolis but its just not liveable at all and doesnt allow for any kind of feeling of downtime. its just like so homogeneously urban. quite a stressful place overall desu, could not deal with living there unless i was earning seriously big money
Yeah but I'll be the first to admit that Worcester is boring as shit too, can understand why people want to flee the nest (although that's not why I moved personally). My hometown is a beautiful place to live if you have a family and want to live a traditionally English life, but if you're in your 20s and want to experience something a bit more exciting I can see why you'd want to leave
only australian bowler that scares me is james pattinson
yeah thats the problem mate. everywhere else is boring. literally no idea where i want to live long term really
Cazzie questions for you boys:
>Is a white ball different to a red ball? If yes, how?
>Why do test openers take fucking forever to score runs whereas in ODI's they just go for it? Surely it makes sense to have a swing in tests considering no one is on the boundary no?
>Is a white ball different to a red ball?
Yes, mate.
>If yes, how?
It's red you cazz.
For me I think I'd be happy in lots of big cities, just none of the ones in the UK desu. I think of places like Barcelona and Vancouver and it seems like it'd be great to live there - big city life as and when you need it, but able to escape to the mountains or the beach within an hour o rwo whenever you like. Unfortunately we don't have anywhere similar in the UK. Recently thought I'd quite like to live in rural Oxfordshire, so maybe I'll look into that
sam curran is Zimbabwean
Guess young zoomers want places thar are new and popular with other kids like them around but beyond that, people pretty much do 95% same thing everyday regardless of london or worcester.
imagine if him and ballance returned to make zimbabwean cricket great again
youtube.com
Kalanga or Zulu?
Yeah, whether I'm in London or in Worcester it's the same sort of shit, just pints with the lads and then heading out to the bars or clubs. I'll admit that there's much much more to do here in London though. It's just not my cup of tea really, would much rather having comfy rural areas to retreat to instead
Red ball swings a lot more than the white ball, much harder to face as a batsman
home is home and i honestly think its the best country in the world, but at the same time theres no place within it here that seems particularly appealing to live lol
i literally pmed him on facebook saying this exact thing a couple of years back... before he was ''famous'''
based
need zimbabwean cricket renaissance simple as
Do you reckon so? It's something I've often wondered about desu. You can pretty much rule out the big cities (e.g. London, Manchester, Birmingham) as being enjoyable places to live, but I did half-wonder if some of the smaller cities (e.g. York, Bristol, Oxford) might be enjoyable
He's made out of glass mate, he'll break down after day 1. Siddle is the best pozzie bowler in England, luckily for us they won't pick him till it's too late like they did in 2015
feel like its just what youre used to desu. Alot of people who grew up in big cities really like them then get scared at the prospect of living in the country. the only time ive seen grow up in the city to dislike it were those that thought england was shit and kept reiterating how they wish they were back in the third world shithole theyve barelt visited where their parents or grandparents are from.
Yeah there's probably some truth in that desu. I don't even feel like a country boy really, but I guess I' worlds apart form someonewho grew up in a big city.
How about you lad? Where do you call home?
any stream of the canadian T20 lads?
basically you just need to earn big cash, money doesnt buy happiness necessarily but does remedy this fussiness. get rich and dont have to toil and it doesnt matter where you live
also at least we don't live in fucking arizona like certain man ITT
ur thinking of tom curran m8
sam curran is british born and bred
imagine not living in the greatest small city in the world
I have £40k in savings and I'm not even remotely happy desu
Went to uni in York, quaint and decent but not cheap and not great. Better off in Leeds or Manchester, cheap rent decent job and good social stuff. All the advantages of London in a more confined area with less tourists and way cheaper.
London is a meme unless you want to be a lawyer or something
send it to me then and i'll teach you how to be happy with nothing
>London is a meme unless you want to be a lawyer or something
still a meme really
far better off a solicitor in the country
I only have £20k and I'm 32 years old.
However, if I kill myself my life insurance won't pay out
I'm a bit of a traditionalist and want to live in a genuinely beautiful English area, and I don't think I'd find that in either Manchester or Leeds desu. Might be wrong though I suppose, as I've not been to either that often
Shan't be giving this ridiculous suggestion a second thought desu
My £40k has come at 26 for me, but I live an incredibly frugal and unsatisfying life. Would much rather be broke but happy in where I am and where I'm going desu
arizona is a complete cultural wasteland. you're not priviledged simply because you're american you idiot. take swindon and make it a bit bigger and more arid and arizona is the result
>cultural wasteland
oh excuse the fuck out of me mr. poncey "i'm gonna go to the theatre this eve with the widow Mrs. Smith-Jones"
Arizona has more actual culture in one sand dune than you fuckers have in the scraps of your "empire".
You might as well act like Rome or Istanbul are huge cultural centers in the modern world.
Yeah I've got 20k
In DEBT!
I did have 7k... until it was stolen!
name literally one cultural facet of arizona. taco bell induced heart disease doesnt count
honestly think i figured out the english lads
they're like italians thinking they're the descendants of the romans
which really, both are more like those losers you meet who claim they're descended from some peer that was wrongfully deprived of his title, and that their noble blood will enable them someday, eventually to win back the family manor house
it's really, really grim when an empire falls lads.
>cric suddenly flush with pom flags
How delightfully unpredictable.
the painted desert mate
fucking love england lads
literally the best country on earth
literally so pleased im english
literally why would you admit to being from arizona? sebbo did himself a great disservice there
Yeah it's almost as if the Brits are one of only 10 nationd on earth who take cricket seriously, and may therefore be more inclined to post about in on Yea Forums. Jesus christ this is the worst post that I've ever seen on /cric/ and I hope you never have the audacity to post here again
Good lad
oh dear, this is grim
youve clearly never met deano then
There'll always be an England
While there's a country lane,
Wherever there's a cottage small
Beside a field of grain.
There'll always be an England
While there's a busy street,
Wherever there's a turning wheel,
A million marching feet.
Red, white and blue; what does it mean to you?
Surely you're proud, shout it aloud,
"Britons, awake!"
The empire too, we can depend on you.
Freedom remains. These are the chains
Nothing can break.
There'll always be an England,
And England shall be free
If England means as much to you
As England means to me.
reminder lads: you will never be as relevant as arizona
new zealand posters are fucked in the head nonces mate, ignore them. can you blame them really, imagine being a discount Britain without the gimmicks and heritage of Australia. just literal castaways
youtu.be
pretty grim song
>oh dear, this is grim
Very good insight
Is that the same song as I posted? Don't have speakers so can't tell desu. In any case, I imagine the song I posted is grim because it's Vera Lynne, but I just like the image that "There'll always be an England" evokes
>e09.png
>one kiwi bullies zachy b
>writes off the entire nation
grim stuff
they'll clear off after an innings or two of the ashes I reckon kek
'chabin bla
waaas habbening after the wc debacle x
I for one, love bullying zach, and will continue to do so.
BASED
A
S
E
D
As far as I'm concerned, there's been no true England since the fall of the House of Plantagenet. Everything since has been illegitimately called "England".
Alri bla how's it going? Enjoyable day so far?
Do your poor mother a favour and kill yourself.
hey la x can't complain ngl, and you?
>alchy b talks to fatguts
lowest of the low, how many beers deep must you be?
ummmm blabla ≠ sebby x
Not bad desu, day didn't pan out how I wanted to but that's just the way it goes sometimes I guess
8 desu
>kiwi nonce dares to criticize basedy b
as illegitimate as modern "england" is, they haven't anything on this "aotearoa" nonce-sense
grim thread.
too true la
it all evens out innit x
the world cup winning England
the loser nonces New Zealand
x
so true
Hope so bla, had a lot of shit days so surely that means there's lots of good ones around the corner haha
you can count on it la x
Who is Zachy B? Worried that it might be me and I'm unaware of it. If not, continue as you were LG x
>freshies
>blowies
umm.. over of the founding fathers of cric right here la x
one of the*
oof x
>Who is Zachy B?
the single greatest welshman ever to grace /cric/ during his exile in bulgaria
a welshman from england, zachy hailed from the rape of bramber in sussex
currently he's on the road to dying without issue, which will be a problem for the entailment of the manor house
me
I remember the lad posting from Bulgaria. Always seemed like a miserable cunt desu
Alri Zachy B, why you so miserable? Is it cos you're Welsh?
hello
new server
join
or
die
discord.gg
here's the checklist:
>obsessed with prematurely receding hairline
>erectile dysfunction
>lives with mum
>only has one item of "banter" i.e. "nonce"
>larps as a teacher in Bulgaria
>constantly upset at NZ
any apply to you?
yeah mate, thinking i shaln't
delete this post you bellend
to think i always stood up for your generic guitar trash when everyone else is laying into it
There are loads of bougie as hell areas around Leeds and Manchester- Didsbury for instance
you shall
or die
cric and hoc
must unite
Is there a way of filtering the yank menace sebo without filtering all US posters?
>watch as they tear each other to pieces
yes that's it
>obsessed with prematurely receding hairline
yes
>erectile dysfunction
yes
>lives with mum
no
>only has one item of "banter" i.e."nonce"
yes
>larps as a teacher in Bulgaria
no
>constantly upset at NZ
yes
Hmm the jury's out desu
Did you? If I could delete the post, I would desu. Coming under A LOT of criticism recently and need all the supporters I can get
Yeah but they're still full of northeners
there's only one US poster here
if you post in non-commonwealth threads you deserve septic posts anyway
imagine thinking that there are any yank posters other than based sebbo
OOF
None of my friends texted me today so I've spent the evening getting drunk and shitposting in /brit/. Really think I've hit a new low tonight
you're done out here
imagine being mad
at a flag
despite the fact
i love jared straffo
Haha imagine being the sort of bender who would post this unironically
Zach there's no need for us to fall out here. Can't you see that's exactly what this sick NZ nonce wants? Don't give him the satisfaction
remember in the the 90s and early 2000s new zealand was like the dream location for arty farty brits
what was all that about. id rather be dead than live in new zealand
zach calls you a poof when you're not around
>that singing poof nonce
he calls you, seriously
yeah its fine im over it
Are you serious? Zach what the fuck?! Always thought I could rely on you, if nobody else
for me it's this, perfect for west indies cricket
youtube.com
imagine actually taking the word of a kiwi nonce from the global south
I know right?
kiwi posters tried to defend you too
I'm Scottish kek
wtf i love kiwis now
whats the /cric/ consensus on fartcher in the ashes
fuck up daniel
the rawalpindi express
yeah we're some of the nicer posters on cric for sure. no idea what zach's problem is, we've never been anything but friendly to him.
more like farter kek
*farts*
clean my feces
Morning lads
Based New Zealanders, next time you shitpost endlessly about how you deserved the WC I'll be on your side for sure
me?? MUCH prefer this version ngl bla x
soundcloud.com
don't blush baby
based blaposter
nice stems
x
>Pattinson back
>Hazelgod is the slowest of the 4
no relief at all for Englels batsmen
good luck, bowler inflicted mental disorders incoming
Is blaposter THE best poster in /cric/ lads? Struggling to come up with anybody I appreciate more
ni hao city maggot
agreed desu
the same old delusion on repeat
india literally declared twice against you in australia
sebbo is more dedicated to /cric/ methinks
the poor poorsmen of the apoocalypse
Watch when Smithy gets Hughes'd by Archer yeah mate?
hazlewood is literally so bad
gets a free pass for being australian and tall, but hes actually completely ineffective
fast replies lads, classic sign of fear and denial.
really wanted to see one of these in the WC final lads
>Thinking Hazelgod isnt mad as fuck for being denied a spot in the odi side and will have a point to prove
hehehe
So alone lads. The girl didn't like me after all.
I wish I didn't have autism and could enjoy the griget
not shitposting really 2bh
Haloooo (i’m not girl)
getting tired lads
someone drop a massive truthie to energise me or im going bed
Looking good mate
business idea: kenyan cricket revival
Chinamen are the future
war is coming.
chinamen lack the creativity to win in a theatre of war due to railroaded thinking filtered down from a government rooted in farming peasantry.
Chinas history of war is being taken over by a small island to their east, raped, beaten and cucked and having to be saved by the people they now hate the most.
China will be a US backed Taiwanese extension by 2040 and democracy will once again rule.
left arm chinaman bowling is muscular and elite
not gonna happen
kenyan cricket was just a light that flickered, nigeria on the other has all the tools and muscularity to be a stable force in cricket
Was talking about chinaman bowling btw
pretty good
Chilean cricket needs a spark of life
could get behind nigeria as an emerging cricketing force
why dont cricketers have elite bodies lads?
theres a few but not many.
Thinking a team focused on elite fitness and sparta like rigs will give any side who employs this an unfair advantage.
chris tremlett is mad hench these days
only truthie you will ever need ngl bla x
youtu.be
they already are completely emerging
en.wikipedia.org
based
Nigeria defeated pre-tournament favorites Namibia by 52 runs,[2][3] Uganda by 30 runs and Kenya by 58 runs
literally the premier african cricket force
Alright get ready for a BROKEN FUCKIN ARM
When the FUCK is warnie gonna stream again? I want to ask him about the ashes.
just want a pie lads
literally just dont want to go to sleep because when i do its literally the end of the weekend, tomorrow is sunday aka toil eve and i really fucking hate sundays
have a good feed if you cant sleep mate. wait half an hour or so, rest up.
Youll feel in better condition to handle the looming work week as opposed to staying up all night thinking about it.
bless mate
Sunday is lovely. Drive out of the city and do a big bush walk for the day
all the tracks are closed.
chris jordan and jade dernbach opening the bowling
bresnan first change
drink yourself to death lad
>Aucklander
grim
ufc is on lad
ripple dot is
new zealand has no cricket world cups and i foresee this remaining the case pretty much indefinitely
kiwi nonce cricket losers
barn storming run to the cricket world cup final and inevitable victory in 2023
lol
the missing piece of the puzzle of his career is that he was actually much older than he said he was and his prime was spent in gaol
these are the posts
this is also the post
bad sports lads.
8/241
241 all out (extra run incorrectly awarded due to the batsmen not crossing)
not exactly convincing and a hollow victory, admitted by Morgan himself.
New Zealand did well, your country is a grim grey shithole. In a way, you always lose.
think ur ignoring are convincing win in the tiebreaker lad
sort ur self out m8
white balls don't swing as much who knows why
because tests are much harder to play, the pitches are much nastier, the ball swings more there isn't as many restrictions on deliveries or fielders. you also have the luxury of time
I remember that
how we discovered your name from memory
New Zealand to win the world test league in a canter
youtube.com
the peak of comedy
shall devote every fibre of my degrees in kinology and kinography to find a greater comedic peak
>new zooland to win
grim
found one, you aussies should find this particularly good with your next zinger stacker. imagine yanks not recognizing this man immediately: youtu.be
can you sort me out with some big bundas mate?
Back home lads.
stay there
None of my friends texted me today so I've spent the evening getting drunk and shitposting in /brit/. Really think I've hit a new low tonight.
stay there
Dropped a truthie in /brit/
chuck us a link
...
won't be giving that a (You)
wish the cricket was on right now
Bored
same
craving a five day affair
getting the cricket withdrawals after that pathetic ireland vs england match
resorting to cricinfo articles
robelinda2 keeping me going for now
imagine being such a soft cock that you don't watch the canadian T20 tourney
awaiting shipping confirmation and a tracking code for the world cup lads
pies and a beer on the cards
>shipping world cup x NZ headcanon
yikes lads
for me it's the elite world cup x ENG NTR doujins
pies in the oven
beers in the fridge
Based
what's the plan for your day lads?
off to play a round of golf myself
Heading down to the pastaria for some lasagne
sad
Putting together IKEA furniture.
for me? thinking about the cricket
1154? Fucking elite.
big think 2bh
Just got dejevu lads
*be's waiting for the cricket*
Yes mate. Got the Sunday bake with one of the rosemary rolls.
Anyone know the tracking number on that package from England?
>ODI today
HOLY MOTHER OF BASED
imagine willingly living in a cultural wasteland like queensland
*farts*
first dinner not good enough lads
second dinner on the cards
*sniffs*
Smells like monkey shit in here lads
oooo....
>Bangladesh rope in Charl Langeveldt and Daniel Vettori as bowling coaches
BTFOd /hoc/ again lads
hahahahaha XD so funny!!
Thanks mate
based
2035 world cup winners, nigeria
Based
Screencapped this post. Can't wait to laugh at you in 2035.
shocking yet believable
I'll be 59 when this happens.. probably still posting here...
B+R
>lawncunt is literally older than shubbo
>tfw Im turning 60 in a month
will probably kms soon young lads
Quintessentially Dumbjabi
Just got my letter from the Queen for my 100th birthday lads. She should have put the cricket world cup in the envelope too.
When was the last time Engand fielded a team of players all born and bred in England?
Bad news lads, weather forecast in Worcester is for rain, so the comfy afternoon we all had planned listening to Worcestershire vs Durham in the Brainlet Bash is under threat.
>recognising a queen of glorious AOTEAROA
cringe and bleupilled
Zealandia rising
might post my body on /fit/
xavier doherty
rather not hear that name ta
footpath
watching gran torino
faggot
bro
it is my team bro
bro it is shakib
You mean Tasmantis
lads GT20 Edmonton Royals vs Toronto Nationals last night was kino desu. fucking MS Gony assraped peesham KEK
What's the difference between an Australian and a bucket of shit?
The bucket
met a lovely taurangan today
gony is based
What do you call a kiwi with a hundred lovers?
A shepherd.
4 days till The Cricket
fucking SEETHED that there were no good streams of it being posted on based /cric/
*drives through the covers*
based Ashes tbeh, will be watching last two sessions of weekday and all on weekends. based timings.
GOTTEM
I thought we were mates
just BANTA hahaha
*drives through the covers*
well it's hurtful.
Hey um.... what if I went to the canteen and you came with me? Hahahah just kidding.... unless....? Aha nah... unless? x
Zachy b AKA the grim rapist
he raped someone?
Best not to talk about ongoing court cases lad, particularly when minors are involved.
he went to bulgaria because they don't extradite to the UK
what's with all the namefags and sex crimes?
sebbo - dog fucking
Richo - kiddie fiddling
now Rapey B
Just paid some Arab $100 to put together my IKEA table and chairs while I played Xbox. Disposable income is fucking awesome lads.
Maybe the next thread should be dedicated to exposing him for the monster he is
Best to leave the police and courts to do their jobs
BING BING WAHOO
Going to put up an airtasker job for some immigrant to wash my car
...
>three posts early
You have autism
500th for justice for Rapey B's victims