Heem - skinny-fat to warrior edition

>56F

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*heems a thot*

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You must be mistaken

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Triple G is taking the belt

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>Why, yes, it is quite hot outside. Why do you ask?

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>we'll give maximum cut baby a 40 year old child to reestablish him as a fighter

Volkan just weighed in as a standby replacement fighter. Will Max not make weight?
When was the last time a main event had a standby?

they literally needed it for this card you're entitled to a refund if the main event falls through and this card is ufc china tuf tier

That will make even funnier the upset

Dubs and volkanovski replaces frankie by fight time

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We need some new blood in UFC, I'm tired of all these fighters

Frankie weighed in, if Max pulls out this card definitely move from ppv to ESPN. It won't because the UFC are greedy cocksuckers.. but it should.

It's because /heem/ is dying. Let me tell you this.

This general has nothing to offer anybody. There is no quality content here you cannot get more quickly and efficiently elsewhere. Sherdog Forums, Underground Forums, Reddit, Tapology, they're all better. This is a soft addiction which reduces your productivity, attention span, and free time. You are becoming more bitter, narrow minded, haughty, and old. Leave now and block this site. Nothing good comes from this place.

People do not talk about mixed martial arts here. Posters do not engage one another on key points, they mock each other and spam the same memes over and over again. Nobody is interested in actually discussing the sport; people are looking to regurgitate old memes and try to create new ones. Over half of every thread is old, repeated content. Most of the rest are shitty jokes and lame insults. Not to mention the constant scat spam. An insightful post is one in ten thousand, and no matter how hard you filter this place you are still searching for diamonds in a garbage dump.

This place is not making you happy. You are not having fun. You are not learning about the sport, or having conversations about MMA. Instead you chuckle every few days and are occasionally spurred to masturbation by libidinal posts or pictures. You are addicted to pressure free social interaction with no standards. This place is slowly poisoning you with idiocy, racism, narcissism, sexism, and lame humor. Schaub, scat, porn, cazzie, story of the fight, what does heem mean, softcore WMMA porn, greentext copypastas, old memes, picks - it's the same 500 post sewage 24/7. Do you actually enjoy being here, or are you used to it?

I'm not telling you to train. I'm not telling to go outside. I'm not even telling you to stop using the internet. Just leave /heem/. Go anywhere else.

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Max made it

It's because /heem/ is dying. Let me tell you this.

This general has nothing to offer anybody. There is no quality content here you cannot get more quickly and efficiently elsewhere. Sherdog Forums, Underground Forums, Reddit, Tapology, they're all better. This is a soft addiction which reduces your productivity, attention span, and free time. You are becoming more bitter, narrow minded, haughty, and old. Leave now and block this site. Nothing good comes from this place.

People do not talk about mixed martial arts here. Posters do not engage one another on key points, they mock each other and spam the same memes over and over again. Nobody is interested in actually discussing the sport; people are looking to regurgitate old memes and try to create new ones. Over half of every thread is old, repeated content. Most of the rest are shitty jokes and lame insults. Not to mention the constant scat spam. An insightful post is one in ten thousand, and no matter how hard you filter this place you are still searching for diamonds in a garbage dump.

This place is not making you happy. You are not having fun. You are not learning about the sport, or having conversations about MMA. Instead you chuckle every few days and are occasionally spurred to masturbation by libidinal posts or pictures. You are addicted to pressure free social interaction with no standards. This place is slowly poisoning you with idiocy, racism, narcissism, sexism, and lame humor. Schaub, scat, porn, cazzie, story of the fight, what does heem mean, softcore WMMA porn, greentext copypastas, old memes, picks - it's the same 500 post sewage 24/7. Do you actually enjoy being here, or are you used to it?

I'm not telling you to train. I'm not telling to go outside. I'm not even telling you to stop using the internet. Just leave /heem/. Go anywhere else.

Tldr
Kys

I just saw Max's penis. Looked like it has also gone through a heavy weight cut.

>MAX HOLLOWAY IS OUT
MAX HOLLOWAY IS OUT
>MAZ HOLLOWAY IS OUT
MAX HOLLOWAY IS OUT
mobile.twitter.com/arielhelwani/status/1154746376867258368

Max has no dick left

WHAT IS THIS MONSTER?

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>145 division
>146 allowed
How does this make any sense?

if max died in the octagon i almost wouldn't be sad because i don't really care for the zoomer

Cyborg looking good when her cunt is completely dry

anyone remember off the top of their head what the rule is on minimum weight? if you weigh 146 can you fight a 155 pounder?

Have sex

max got wrestlefucked by conor mcgregor
conor mcgregor wrestlefucked max for 3 rounds
how is he a -400 favorite

not wrong.

>Fighters cant improve

I don't think there is a minimum. You can be 125 and enter heavyweight if you have the cojones.

max is flushed
he's deteriorating at an exponential rate

I always thought the rule was you can be at most 1 division below.

Max is a dicklet, who would've thought

twitter.com/jaderiveraa112
frankie's got some big support

wtf i love max now he's so relatable i thought we had nothing in common

Am I missing something or was there always only 11 fights on the card tomorrow? Felt like there was 13 but maybe I'm remembering wrong.

>dog shit ppv
>everyone makes weight

Nothing more embarrassing than conor mcmanlet calling other people short

Some fights got cut

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Which ones?

The main event. Card is canceled

Giacomo Lemos/ Tanner Boser, Lemos tested positive
dk the other one

i was on my roof when you typed this. at the time i was thinking at least it's not as hot out today for the guys redoing all the roofs in the area. i was up there like a fag with the garden hose spraying myself just while cleaning the gutters and lanai, they're up there like real men for 10-12 hours a day actually working. also i think i need knee replacement surgery. favorite female fighter?

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roofers chose their torment, i never asked for this.

can't buy an ac window unit?

i have one you can have for free if you want to pay for overnight shipping

I have one but its designed for NA windows, im currently renting an old cheap shithole of a house with inproper insulation so during summer i cook and during winter i freeze

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i bought a unit that stands in your room, then put a piece of plexiglass where the window is and cut a hole in the plexiglass for the unit's hose

I need HEEMS to faceapp

I might have to resort to similar actions, but for now im content with whining and cold showers.

Oh Hi Val
instagram.com/p/B0YrYiIA58i/

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Oh mommy

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Ugly chink

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>lost to a toe

Fighter nicknames that never caught on:

Lennox 'The Lion' Lewis
Georges 'Rush' St-Pierre

have sex
fixed

google Jenny Taborda and open the first link in search

Lewis always got called "the lion"

when I was at college there was a 375 pound 5'8'' mexican dude who wore a Georges 'Rush' St-Pierre shirt every day. Definitely who I think of when I think of GSP fans

Sounds like a beast. Imagine how good his sprawl must be.

Where can I see Max's Holloway?

>literally exposed as a microballer
he lost the story already

tfw your bepnis is bigger than the champions

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>bisping's son wrestling at a D2 school
what a can
frankie's protege is at a D1 school and ranked 3rd in the country

That's the rule. No Athletic commission is gonna sanction a fight between cejudo and ngannou

What will frankie say during his retirement speech

It's because /heem/ is dying. Let me tell you this.

This general has nothing to offer anybody. There is no quality content here you cannot get more quickly and efficiently elsewhere. Sherdog Forums, Underground Forums, Reddit, Tapology, they're all better. This is a soft addiction which reduces your productivity, attention span, and free time. You are becoming more bitter, narrow minded, haughty, and old. Leave now and block this site. Nothing good comes from this place.

People do not talk about mixed martial arts here. Posters do not engage one another on key points, they mock each other and spam the same memes over and over again. Nobody is interested in actually discussing the sport; people are looking to regurgitate old memes and try to create new ones. Over half of every thread is old, repeated content. Most of the rest are shitty jokes and lame insults. Not to mention the constant scat spam. An insightful post is one in ten thousand, and no matter how hard you filter this place you are still searching for diamonds in a garbage dump.

This place is not making you happy. You are not having fun. You are not learning about the sport, or having conversations about MMA. Instead you chuckle every few days and are occasionally spurred to masturbation by libidinal posts or pictures. You are addicted to pressure free social interaction with no standards. This place is slowly poisoning you with idiocy, racism, narcissism, sexism, and lame humor. Schaub, scat, porn, cazzie, story of the fight, what does heem mean, softcore WMMA porn, greentext copypastas, old memes, picks - it's the same 500 post sewage 24/7. Do you actually enjoy being here, or are you used to it?

I'm not telling you to train. I'm not telling to go outside. I'm not even telling you to stop using the internet. Just leave /heem/. Go anywhere else.

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for ngannous safety of course

He might be, but you're a fucking idiot. Reread your sentence needle dick.

Reminder : The Baddest man on this planet is Greek
youtube.com/watch?v=fDqoCHzw9Tw

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He's no match for Asians.

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Who wins the story here?
youtu.be/Lt98V_KyQg4

Me "The Nigger Eradicator" user

Didnt read. Heres a (You)

The only downside to heem day was that no one would care about any other card until 241

walkout songs
youtube.com/watch?v=99KkbFjZR20

Go back

My friend just told me Max Holloway's penis was shown at the weigh-ins, I stopped everything I was doing to get on /heem/ because I know one of you guys has the video.

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My friend just told me Cyborg's penis was shown at the weigh-ins, I stopped everything I was doing to get on /heem/ because I know one of you guys has the video

I couldnt see anything down there, thats how small it is

chat.whatsapp.com/ImWScFhDuh5BO18aHpzxpz

Join the /heem/ whatsappgroup if you boy Miocic against DC

>A UFC world champion is a dicklet

This gives me hope. Max is my new favorite fighter.

?

My fight IQ is head and shoulders above everyone in this thread. None of your brainlets have my permission to (You) me

YOEL GON GET IT

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walkout songs

youtube.com/watch?v=V3ADK6gsDGg

Stopped reading at "span"

youtu.be/VDvr08sCPOc

youtube.com/watch?v=GsuzeuDCDm4

youtube.com/watch?v=beFPoiNn0Bs

youtube.com/watch?v=tpV4SmtyqO4

rap is a disease

Blessed with a micropenis oh no no no no no no

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danish eurovision?
yo yo yogurt

I spent ages trying to do something and when I did it and posted it on Yea Forums for Yea Forums's own amusement a person replied that it was rubbish even though I think it was okay. Should I stop trying because people are mean or should I keep trying because I don't know?

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I think you should stop/

He's gonna be shook that the whole world has seen his penis. Bet the mattress on Edgar.

No, just a swedish hit song

I might be a brainlet, but all i need to is land once clean...

How do I achieve this physique?

holy shit it really is only 3 weeks away, thought it was gonna be late august

Would you rather be a brainlet or a chinlet?

lmao

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based

Think we can say the best is definitely NOT blessed

even more pedo vibes now, how can you have a micro dick unless you like to touch kids

Why wouldn't you shave your pubes and all body hair if you're struggling to make weight?

dick cutting, ever heard of it?

Absolute kek. Why did they let a journalist sit so far to the left

it doesnt change much only your dick looks longer for micropenis to minipenis

official > 4 inches

>NoFap
>GOMAD
that's all it takes

Even Gadelha's clit is bigger than Max Holloway dick.Embarassing. Fuck it Max,better retire now

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Nofapper here.

Can confirm it gives you gains.

we need to say thanks to USADA for let these roided bums to put a evict war before get suspended again

Hey mijn negers I just saw that this card won't air on Veronica, next one will be August 17. Enig idee if they'll put the fights online the next day?

t. heemlet

the two dots and the space after intensifies faggotry

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Just like that I have a new boy

>be manlet
>get flushed by dicklet

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Meestal staan de video's er allemaal tussen 6 en 8:00 op. Je kan ook gewoon illegale streams kijken zoals die zullen tuurlijk wel gewoon doorgaan

Gaethje was trying to warn us about Dickless Max in 2017 but we didnt listen to him.

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bros stop making fun of max, is tualwf having a small piece...

stop being mean to Max guys I'm sure it was just the camera angle and weight cut

>LE DICKLESS XDDXDXDXD
Kys, faggots. It's just dehydration, cold, and a fucking ape bush.

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it is what it is

if you think about it smacks hallways small flaccid penis lets him make 145 much easier

Wait so people are ACTUALLY picking CTE Holloway over Edgar?

It's such free fucking money. Holloway is donezo. I have $1k on Edgar and if Volk was fighting Holloway I'd put $100k on Volk. Max is flushed.

You can still bet on Tony for now but Tony is very close to flushed too. The second his chin starts to disappear bet against him hard because normies only look at Sherdog records when they bet and not the actual current quality of the fighters. ALWAYS bet against superstars with suspect chins.

Bretty gud benis

Based Ultimate Blackpill maplenigger, the only question is... why are you here?

1000 posts until the get

We've got this /heem/.

it's just a coincidence that edgar moved from a +285 dog to a -1500 favorite in the past hour, right?

Costa is a shitty meme fighter but Romero is 50 years old and people don't realize it because he's on such a high level doping program. Should be a good fight.

>Ortega-KZ
>now this
better than 240 already

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youtube.com/watch?v=ydorpKc8Td4
i would walk out dressed like pic related

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>betting on manlets
When has this ever worked doofus

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Let's hope that link truck has some big support as well, if you know what I mean.
(I mean Jade Rivera's tits are big and I would like to suckle on them until completion)

/hoc/ will probably get it

AGAIN

How is Edgar not going to get beat up? Even if he manages to take down Max, he has to do it for five rounds. He can't do that all night, Max only needs to land a few shots to start wearing down Fronkie.

Max is free money.

Former D1 wrestler and fighter here. Your dick gets seen by a lot of people all the time. I guarantee you that he doesn't give a shit. Once you graduate middle school you realize that women understand basic biology and that flaccid penis size doesn't mean anything.

Unironically more men have stared at my dick than women...I think fighters and fight fans are all secretly homo.

holy COPE

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Heh, I guess you could call that a dick.

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Yea Forums needs more OC creators, especially social media grabbers/manipulators and shoopers. Once your skills improve you will definitely earn positive feedback.

The quickest way to get positive feedback is to make ironic shitposts or postmodern image macro edits but it's not a recipe for long term success.

me on the left

>more men than women have stared at my dick
>other people are gay

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>early prelims don't start until 00:00 bongtime
Fuck Edmonton, or wherever this card is taking place.

Is Max's penis too small to fight? Will the commission allow this? I hope so.

>Unironically more men have stared at my dick than women
same, between pissing at the urinal and having a shower at the gym with my mates
And any man that trains doesn't care about who sees your peepee unless you have a complex but holy shit Max that's a pretty small dehydrated dick

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bet I could take you down

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>Former D1 wrestler and fighter here
>I think fighters and fight fans are all secretly homo
>more men have stared at my dick than women

Just outed yourself faggot.

sometimes I wonder if y'all post JUST to reach bump limit so you can create the new thread and be OP

I wonder how much dick she could take?

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That's literally the only reason to post.

just rewatched spencer vs anderson and cyborg has no chance, her striking is crisp and ground game is one of the best in the ufc, spencer by whatever she wants

>y'all

She is meant for tiny Asian Dick only. BACK OFF WHITAH PIGGU

bookies love him

>not being a based Texan
kill yourself you freedom hating cuck

Death To America

Spencer will get heemed

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Whats the size cutoff for tiny asian dick

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about 4 inches. If you're a cheeky fiver, you're hung.

>norgay

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Who won the story of this fight?

Miranda Cosgrove vs Victoria Justice

Ortega wins the penis contest

RATE 1 TO 10 THE UPCOMING LINEUP

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oh no no no

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lol whatever

It doesn't matter, after having kids any woman could sit on a pringles can without discomfort.

>tfw too big for asians and too small for black girls
suffering.jpg

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Embedded

youtube.com/watch?v=fiPVdYSD-OI

watching late 90s and early 2000s rap videos gave me a black girl fetish. all that booty in tiny bikinis truly the golden area of music videos

>implying white guys don't get the finest black girls

I'm mad, but it's true. If you see a white guy with a black girl, 9 times out of 10 the girl is impeccable. 'muh dick', bitches don't care about that nearly as much as dudes are worried.

boring fighters and even more boring fight card
YAWWWWWWWWWWN

Comunicado oficial: Schaub has confirmed that Max indeed does have a HOG on him when fully torqued

i used to buy xxl magazine just for the girls

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6.5/10

I aborted so much seed to Esther Baxter the Freek-A-Leek thot
>tfw she will never take your virginity at 15 like she did for Lil Bow Wo

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Sex question for heem - when you dicklets do get pussy do you heem the pussy or do you let the pussy heem you?

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I dominate for the the full five championship rounds

I've never gotten pussy in my life so I'd likely have no idea what to do if I got it.

I get heem'd by default.

My pornstar cardio let's me heem it all night long

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Shelby Marx is the undisputed p4p wmma goat. Nobody can match her ferociousness and tenacity.

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does he just pay them for the pics or does he fuck them too? he doesn't paid that good and doesn't have much sponsors because of his gimmick

whores in medellin are ridiculously cheap

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You talking in length, girth, or number of?

strictly length

weigh ins when

DUDES GOT A HOG

I heem the pussy then i heem myself out of regret

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She's shallow 6" but the sides are completely blown out.

Someone post Randy Couture's hog

>not one single pennpost so far

sacrilege

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Blowjob bless

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400 posts my brothers, be prepared.

is that a threat?

were to busy talking about the other flushed hawaiian can

Those places ban you for calling everybody a niggerfaggot tho

what terrible technique,hips are not committed into the kick,guard is low body weight is high,shoulders didnt rotate,landed with the instep

I am seirously worried about this girls committment to anything fighting related,maybe she should start a podcast or try comedy

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again really? ugh

He’s sponsored by Camsoda im pretty sure, also is unironically friends with the Bangbus crew like Masvidal is

Probably 7" before she starts to feel discomfort.

People say BJJ hasn't evolved, but look at Penn vs Hall. In oldschool jiu jitsu, Penn was much more successful than Ryan Hall. He was beating his coach Ralph Gracie after just two years training, and became black belt world champ two years after winning blue belt worlds. Ryan Hall's biggest accomplishment is an ADCC bronze.

But with more modern techniques, Ryan Hall just effortlessly blew out Penn's knee. Penn's jiu jitsu is too old, he was even training in the gi to get ready for Hall.

Hall bless. Danaher bless.

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bj penn is unironically hilarious

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The things i do for /heem/

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>secretly

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Bangbus is in Miami. Idk how pornstars are still stupid enough to date MMA fighters. It's like they're forgetting what Tito did to Jenna or War Machine
also, anyone got the Joe Rogan and Goldie calling the War Machine beating screen cap?

yeah but bj is a completely flushed turd, seeing him against kron would be a more accurate gauge of what youre implying

that's the cock of a two division GOAT

all american warthog, shame the christkillers had to mutilate that b-b-b-beast

based

why do you have this?

Why not, faggot.

what is with champions having unimpressive dicks? like Romero has a big hog but hes not a champ

why don't you? I have pics and videos of my favorite athletes sex tapes bookmarked so I can pretend we're masterbating or having sex together

The fighters with impressive dicks are out fucking women while the dicklets cope in the gym.

Handy "Captain Murika" Couture bless.

giant hogs are a sign of power and give you a surplus of Testosterone

youtube.com/watch?v=Nr4gpOc55nQ

Romero is gay tho?

Explain why Anderson Silva is the GOAT then? His voice sounds like Michael Jackson.

he's brazilian where the men sound feminine and the women sound masculine

Dos this mean I can tip him during his fights? I have some suggestions

*wins*

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FUCK ISLAM

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/Heem/ is the premier division on Yea Forums

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COCK PISS PARTRIDGE

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Imagine typing out all this bollocks

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Kron was still competing in at the top level of jiu jitsu years after Ryan Hall retired to focus on MMA. Even though he has an oldschool game, he has much more familiarity with newer shit than BJ did.