/bundes/

Reminder that real /bundes/ starts in two days

real /bundes/ - Matchday 1

Friday 26.07.
>VfB Stuttgart - Hannover 96 (20:30)

Saturday 27.07.
>Dynamo Dresden - 1. FC Nürnberg (13:00)
>VfL Osnabrück - 1. FC Heidenheim (15:30)
>Holstein Kiel - SV Sandhausen (15:30)

Sunday 28.07.
>Hamburger SV - SV Darmstadt 98 (13:30)
>SpVgg Greuther Fürth - Erzgebirge Aue (15:30)
>SV Wehen Wiesbaden - Karlsruher SC (15:30)
>Jahn Regensburg - VfL Bochum (15:30)

Monday 29.07.
>Arminia Bielefeld - FC St. Pauli (20:30)

>Haben uns extra ein Jahr auf dem transfermarkt zurückgehalten, um dann richtig angreifen zu können.

>Uli Hoeneß on the report that he's stepping down this year: "I will communicate my decision to the board on August 29. Before that, there will be no official statement from me" [Kicker]

Oh, so it’s just a media stunt

lol

Today Europa League:

18:00
Flora Tallinn
vs
Eintracht Frankfurt

Phillip is a Granate imo, If I was Hoffenheim I would dish out the 18m asap.

Hopefully they don’t crash out now that they sold everyone and their new signing is injured for months

ITT

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In meinen Augen hätte Bayern sagen sollen, nach dem Urlaub soll er zu oder absagen, hop oder top. Bayern ist ein viel, viel größerer Verein als City, er wäre unumstrittener Star und Stammspieler, stattdessen eiert er nun seit gut 3 Monaten rum. MMn hat der FCB das nicht nötig und sollte sich schnellstmöglich um einen Spieler bemühen der stolz wäre für den FC Bayern spielen zu dürfen und enormes Potential besitzt. Ist ja nicht so das der Markt da nix hergibt.

Der FC Bayern ist im Forbes Ranking auf Rang 4 der reichsten Fußballvereine der Welt.
Ich würde das also nicht als "exklusive" Meinung bezeichnen. Der Wert eines Vereins ist nicht anhand seines Kaders zu ermitteln. Der FC Bayern steht finanziell vor Manchester City, Manchester City hat sich als Marke noch gar nicht etabliert. Der Geldregen aus Qatar hat sie zwar überhaupt erst relevant werden lassen, aber International hat man noch absolut gar nichts gewonnen. Würde das FFP konsequent greifen, dann würde es sehr schlecht aussehen für City.

Was für Eltern muss man haben~

>Ist ja nicht so das der Markt da nix hergibt.

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pure customer delusion

>Bayern ist ein viel, viel größerer Verein als City
>er wäre unumstrittener Star und Stammspieler
embolo alder

these tm autists will never not be funny

> City
> Khatar

m(

>Bayern is FUCKED without Sane, absolutely FUCKED

Of the team that absolutely wrecked Dortmund in the last game only Hummels is gone and he is replaced by Hernandez. Looking forward to delicious shareholder tears next season again.

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Good thing that Dortmund signed someone that can carry the ball past the halfway line then.

>only their best player is gone
>but he was replaced with a dead man so it's fine
elke

>Hummels
>Suddenly best player

Based shareholder retard

Reminder in case you forgot.
Stay mad retards

Attached: shareholderPTSD.jpg (345x339, 31K)

I agree their first 11 is still damn good. The problem is that those players hardly will be able to play 50 matches/season.

keep it coming razor, you autistic spastic

time for a shower

Jacob ITALIANO

> „Bis Ende Juli musst du fertig sein“, sagte FCB-Präsident Uli Hoeneß vor rund einem Monat – seitdem verkündete Salihamidzic lediglich den Zugang von Sarpreet Singh (20), der für Bayern II eingeplant ist und derzeit neben sieben weiteren Münchner Talenten eine Chance auf der US-Tour erhält.
lül

Guise I sold out ;_;
Dropped my lappytop mit Manjaro and am now a macfag

weak

Customers are sooooooo mad right now!

lmao fag!

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Another RB guy to Dortmund? How many midfielders do they have now? 12?

what's wrong with >her face?

4 with a realistic chance of starting spots. The rest should've been sold last year, but Alki and Zorc are retards.

happens when the mother overdoses cuteness medication during pregnancy

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>cuteness

Kicker says it's not true.

Fuck off tom
Despite tom being a kankermongool, tabea kinda a cute

>94402964
spoken like a true jt

Angeblich wollte Uli Sané UND Dembele holen, Brazzo meinte aber, der Kader ist bereits jetzt stark genug. Da hat Uli dann hingeworfen.

>Drachenzoomer sperging out again
gähn

heh?

>Razor hasnt killed himself yet

lol. This club is turning into a joke.

>37°

send help please.

>38°

my body is ready

>turning

Pretty much, it's like Kroos said they still have 13 or 14 top quality players, the problem is once the injuries start coming

twitter.com/sportschau/status/1154019189251854337
L O L

>tour de bundes

read

>this your brain as a customer
Mancity has unlimited amounts of money.Why should he to a farmers league with a worse team.The Premiere League has more prestige and he has a higher chance to win the Championsleague there aswell.Lmao.

post webm. twatter videos don't play for me.

Apologize

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He murdered Theo Hernandez.

>Kalle on roadbike
>Uli on bmw c1
the fat fuck wasn't even trying

>comfy 32°C
Rheinländer? more like Ausländer

this is Stephanie Baczyk. She will join the Sportschau team as a commentator next season. Say something nice about her.

Attached: image.jpg (2126x1417, 461K)

PRAISE MARX!

she got a cute stubby nose

@2:50
youtube.com/watch?v=E67Uqz6MsFs

she has nice eyes

yes
youtube.com/watch?v=9Je5CnnCRoQ

>Stephanie Baczyk
Well, lets check her competence and what sport she is doing:
>Baczyk studierte Sozialwissenschaften an der Universität zu Köln und Kultur- und Medienmanagement am KMM Hamburg – Institut für Kultur- und Medienmanagement.
dropped
but nice lips though

she cute

reminds me of daddy luder tßh

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and which sport is she doing eventually?

not watching the mueller report hearings

is she doing porn? Imagine her dad going on a porn site, just to find his daughter, named "Daddy Luder" by accident.

watch TdF instead

none
>Sportficken

>by accident

how do you find your daughter on a porn site if you don't even know that she does porn

*?

if you're using explicit keywords like 'daddy', 'daughter' I wouldn't call this 'by accident'

meeeeeeh.....depends

>Bayern Münchens Präsident Uli Hoeneß wird die Entscheidung über seine Zukunft "dem Aufsichtsrat am 29. August mitteilen, vorher gibt es von mir keine offizielle Erklärung". Das sagte der 67-Jährige am Mittwoch dem "kicker".
>Hoeneß wollte dabei weder ein Dementi noch eine definitive Bestätigung zur Meldung der "Bild"-Zeitung abgeben, wonach er seine Ämter im Herbst aufgeben wolle.
>Auch der "kicker" geht jedoch davon aus, dass Hoeneß bei der Jahreshauptversammlung der Bayern im November nicht mehr als Präsident des deutschen Fußball-Rekordmeisters kandidieren werde. Damit würde er auch seinen Posten als Chef des Aufsichtsrates abgeben.
>Seine Nachfolge in beiden Ämtern soll in Personalunion der frühere adidas-Vorstandsvorsitzende Herbert Hainer, derzeit Aufsichtsrats-Vize, übernehmen. Hoeneß will dann laut kicker aber seinen Sitz im Kontrollgremium der FC Bayern AG behalten.

>plebs thinking Hoeneß will ever leave Buyern
LAMINAT

hot

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>Diadié Samassékou von RB Salzburg wird Berichten zufolge schon länger von Borussia Dortmund mit großem Interesse beobachtet. Ein Wechsel zum BVB soll bereits konkreter geworden sein. RB-Sportchef Christoph Freund dementierte die Gerüchte allerdings.
>"Ich habe mich gewundert über diese Berichterstattung", betonte der Sportdirektor auf einer Pressekonferenz und stellte klar: "Es gibt noch keine Kontakte mit einem Verein in Deutschland."

BILD making up shit again

>Fußball-Bundesligist Fortuna Düsseldorf hat Mittelfeldspieler Lewis Baker vom Europa-League-Sieger FC Chelsea ausgeliehen. Wie die Rheinländer am Mittwoch bekannt gaben, beträgt die Leihdauer für den 24-Jährigen eine Saison, im Anschluss verfügen die Düsseldorfer über eine Kaufoption.
>"Er bringt alles mit, was man als zentraler Mittelfeldakteur braucht. Baker ist laufstark, dynamisch und torgefährlich. Ich bin mir sicher, dass er in der Bundesliga direkt Akzente setzen und unserem kreativen Spiel guttun wird", sagte Sportvorstand Lutz Pfannenstiel.
>In den vergangenen beiden Spielzeiten absolvierte Baker 42 Begegnungen in der zweiten englischen Liga (Championship) - dabei lief er für den FC Middlesbrough, Leeds United und zuletzt für den FC Reading auf.

Where is the Forbuna fattie?

he only announced it to make people forget about CHO

>Bereits in der Winterpause der Saison 2017/18 bestätigte der FC Bayern, dass er Interesse an einer Verpflichtung von Callum Hudson-Odoi vom FC Chelsea habe, der Youngster steht nun jedoch vor einer Verlängerung seines Vertrags.
>Der 18-Jährige habe sich entschlossen, seinen 2020 auslaufenden Kontrakt in London zu verlängern, berichtet die "BBC". Hudson-Odoi wird demnach ein neues Arbeitspapier über fünf Jahre unterzeichnen, das ihm jährlich rund fünf Millionen in die Kassen spült. Die Zahlen stimmen einem zuvor erschienen Bericht der "Daily Mail" überein.

OHNONONONONO >buyern

meant for

If he was the first name on Pep's team sheet then you would be right but he's City's 4th choice winger and impact sub. He has a lot better chances to get called up to the NT team and start games as a key player for Bayern.

>ruptured achilles
Dodged a bullet there.

this

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does tom watch league 1? anyway you owe me 80 seconds of my life.

Attached: league1_1.png (2672x974, 221K)

>Bastelt Schalke an einem Transfer-Hammer mit Lucas Vázquez?
Bei Real Madrid gilt Mittelfeldstar Lucas Vázquez nach den Verpflichtungen von Luka Jovic, Eden Hazard und Rodrygo als Streichkandidat. Zahlreichen Topklubs wird Interesse an dem Spanier nachgesagt - unter anderem dem FC Bayern und dem FC Arsenal. Auch der FC Schalke 04 hofft offenbar auf einen spektakulären Transfer-Coup.
>Wie das Portal "Don Balon" berichtet, gehören die Knappen zu den Klubs, die die Entwicklung bei Real rund um Vázquez genau beobachten.
>Der Vertrag des Nationalspielers bei den Königlichen läuft zwar noch bis 2021, doch ein Verkauf soll die Gehaltsliste der Madrilenen entlasten. Für eine verhältnismäßig geringe Summe von 25 Millionen Euro dürfte Vázquez seinen Klub verlassen, heißt es in dem Bericht.
>Eine Ablöse, die für Schalke wohl nur schwer bis gar nicht stemmbar wäre. Ohnehin dürften die Königsblauen angesichts der namhaften Konkurrenz wohl nur schlechte Karten im Poker um den dreifachen Champions-League-Sieger haben.

>ynr Mehdi Benatia played for Buyern

>ynr remember >Tasci posting

>can't afford to pay €25m
Just relegate this shit club already.

Bayern is finished.

Bobic to Buyern?

For me, its Kimmich

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ananastisch!

Attached: fabian_krane.png (597x500, 225K)

Edgar Davids all over again

wtf, that's not Kimmich??!!

Based as frick

me rn

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Why do they keep making this shit up? Vázquez wants like 8m minimum á year. There is NO WAY Schalke is willing to pay this guys wages.
Absolute state of bundes transfer rumors

considering what >schalke paid people like Raul, Farfan or Huntelar during the time they actually almost went bankrupt, I don't think 8m is really an issue here.
Still the whole thing is delusional.

yes

worst post itt

tm lists 30 fieldplayers. So with the new transfer 3.
then you still have Kagawa, Rode, Schürrle, which leave for sure, and Philipp which will leave almost certain.
There is a good chance still for Weigl and Guerreiro leaving.

then you have four young prospects, that are expected to get little playtime.

It would hurt if Weigl and Guerreiro left. I mean sure, they have lots of transfers for replacement, still I think it was a mistake not to let weigl play as DM at all.

Also if Weigl leaves, apart from Hummels and Akanji as the main CBs, they are left with Toprak, Zagadou and Balerdi. Guess we will see how good Balerdis is then, I dont rate Zagadou and Toprak.

yes well it appears today's hearings were a catastrophe for the democrats. evidently mueller's mental faculties are declining even faster than the footballing skills of his great nephew thomas from the old country

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not saying „i won’t leave“ means he’s leaving, brainlet

she reminds me a bit of my first Schulschwarm

>pic related

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I bet he would go for a cheeky fap.
tßh I often thought about what parents think of their children doing porn.

even worse, imagine finding out your mom did some porn.
Recently found a GGG actress that got married and got a baby now, kek. But she seems pretty asi anyway, her husband is a Punk.

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>I bet he would go for a cheeky fap.
Probably. I mean incest porn is pretty big at the moment and although I would never fap to the thought of banging my own mum I kinda see why it's so big.

>VASQUEZ TO SCHALKE?

>article: not likely, because million reasons
>thx for reading though ;)

It was r*ddit tier and then the last line killed it

I meant on fb

miau glad I finished reading this

stop posting your twitter screenshots max

posting twitter screenshots or linking to a twitter post is reddit/v/ tier garbage posting.
Literally proof that you are a zoomer

fuck off razor

back to your Drachenthread, autismo

sanate to bayern is edging closer to reality every day /bundes/
time to panic

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rutger hauer died lads

>Rutger Hauer in Hitcher, the highway killer

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like tears in rain ;_; RIP in piece, sweet prince.

>he couldn't expand his own life
sad

>i suffer in 40 degrees
once i've been to ucraine for summer break as a child and it was 60+ like every day

Attached: pepe22.jpg (900x900, 196K)

u

zoomers are just weak minded crybabbies desu

nice

>60

doesn't make sense, but I still giggle

stop making shit up grandpa

*giggled

>“On August 1, the Ukraine tied its record for hottest temperature in its history when the mercury hit 61.3°C (142.3°F) at Lukhansk. The Ukraine also reached 61.3°C on July 20 and 21, 2007, at Voznesensk.

Everyone driving around by car instead of taking public transport or the cycle has caused this. Soon we will boil and our planet will be gone.
Versteht ihr Deutschen es jetz endlich mal?!

what do we think of tomorrows stage denmark?

...

redpill: earth becoming a blazing fireball is good (and beautiful) since only the strong will survive, thus making the world a better place.

Super super stage. I want to see Landa do an Andy Schleck.

Is Kiev a good place to visit between Christmas and New Year

>tomorrow

Attached: überrascht.png (550x400, 187K)

go to Luhansk or Donezk and show your support for Novorossiya

yes, cologne is the place to be atm.

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was just thinking the same that it might be a stage that suits Landa. Hoping for Buchmann to keep his top 10 spot of course.

He's doing great so far. If he rides the stage like the last two climbs I can see him on the podium.

good OC fren

GRANATE O'CLOCK?

>„Hoffentlich bleibt er“, sagte Trainer Pep Guardiola (Foto) auf die Frage nach der Zukunft von Leroy Sané nach dem 6:1-Testspielsieg gegen Kitchee SC in Hong Kong. Der FC Bayern buhlt um den Flügelstürmer von Manchester City, dessen Vertrag 2021 endet. „Wir wollen, dass er bleibt und wir haben seinen Beratern ein Gespräch zur Vertragsverlängerung angeboten“, wird Guardiola von der „BBC“ zitiert.

>Sané, seines Zeichens wertvollster deutscher Fußballer, ist der Wunschspieler der Münchner – das weiß auch Guardiola: „Es liegt nicht in unserer Hand. Er muss sich entscheiden“, so der Ex-Bayern-Coach über das Vertragsangebot der „Citizens“. Erstmals deutete der Meistertrainer an, dass die Chancen der Münchner wohl nicht schlecht stehen. „Wenn er gehen will, kann er gehen, aber wir werden traurig sein.“

I think he's doing this to get a better contract at Man City.

Bayern would have definitely leaked to the press if Sane had agreed to join them, just to put pressure on City. But they didn't, he seems to tease them only. Doesn't make sense to be in talks for a whole month with a club you want to join.

zoomer detected

yes, thats why I'm cocking school every Friday to show it to those there upstairs

heh?

Within the next 2 weeks will know for sure.

>34 year old Ronaldo (100m)
>fucking Aaron Ramsey and Emre Can (not even for free)
>tons of Serie A literal whos for crazy money
>average age of a retirement home
why does Juve get so much less criticism than Bayern?
they have a worse record too

because no one gives a shit about Jj in germany

Juve barely lost to Ajax in the QF. Plus having Ronaldo is huge in marketing alone.

that italian charm

thats it, im putting a bucket of water in my room, plus setting up my fan with a wet towel over it.

because they have the GOAT

Mama mia what a brilliant idea!

I disagree

is that impressive?
bayern barely lost to liverpool

Listening to that one brony video some strayan post in /tdf/. pretty depressing desu

the german one? David or whats his name? yeah thats pretty sad

Bayern clearly lost to Liverpool. They got taken apart 1-3 at home after clinging to a 0-0 at Anfield without a single shot on goal. And that was in the round of 16, not the QF. Juve beat Atletico in the round of 16.

yes :'(

>spend the afternoon in the sun at some chair
>now I look like some sunny-side-up Alman
reeeeeeeee

Grim vid, worst part is the fact he uploaded it thinking he was a victim and his mother was in the wrong.

>Bayern lost to Liverpool, the eventual winner of the competition
>Juve choked to Ajax who choked to fucking Tottenham
>Bayern is the only team apart from City who didnt concede at Anfield this season

I mean the mom is probably to blame too, but dear god I wish he could be a little bit less autistic.

all she asks him is to stop diddling animal puppets

prost /bundes/ approved songs
starting with /bundes/ unofficial hymn A.D.2015
youtube.com/watch?v=FU62THtzoFM

and only for this one weekend, its completely his fault, he cant even go 2 days without fucking an animal puppet

good luck sleeping tonight

true. But playing the blame game/christcuck shit with autists rarely work

t. Christ Cuck

good luck? are you on Yea Forumseed?

find jesus

It’s 21C here rn sooo

on a schlager binge atm. reminds me of holiday with my family in 1999 at the Lago di Garda
youtube.com/watch?v=SiXEjCjthRs

But I already have

youtube.com/watch?v=9q6cYvV-yDc

kek

wew

>Birnenkraut
much inferior to Rübenkraut desu

Why is Greta so angry then?

oh that one? Tropical Island "in deiner Bibel vielleicht"
I admit I was at KC back then. But this is fucking old.

Did some Apfelkraut Mouse at work the other day. Sounds strange but it was actually tasty.

autism

I still feel kinda sad for her mom, even if she is a cunt, you hear the desperation in her voice as she finally breaks down. Why cant her son be normal, or at least not abnormal?

leben heisst leiden

Attached: 1563976646169.png (560x478, 63K)

youtube.com/watch?v=GgAyzGLescQ

Apfelkraut is also great, I can never find it at the shop tho

nono i dont do that anymore now i have enough money for coke

Me neither. As I said, I did it at work.

Based fellow Rheinland bro.

Still at my parents flat. Their craycray neighbour is getting wild again. What do?

headphones or ear plugs

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Nö. It's not like I want to sleep or that she's loud enough to disturb my while listening to Trude Herr

*me while

Einfach mal bei Boateng nachfragen ob er seinen Wechsel von City zu Bayern bereut. Auch da hat man lesen müssen das er gescheitert sei.
Pep kann nachweislich keine CL. Wenn das mit wohl bei den meisten Spielern das wichtigste ist, verschlechtert er sich nicht.

fetal alcohol syndrome and it gets her attention

wibbidywut?

this must be a shitpost, there's no way

I really dont get what your point is here. Juve made it a round further, Bayern didnt. Bayern lost 3-1 on aggregate of which their only goal was an own goal. Sorry for shitting on your parade, but thats pretty clear. Juve on the other hand lost by a narrow margin to the team that played the best football last season and lost to Tottenham in the last 30 seconds.

>under every schlager vid there is some "back when singers could actually sing" comment
Fuck off boomers!

if we're talking about 100 year old boomers then they're right.

fixed my stereo today, feels good man

lol

I'm at my parents atm, so the only #2stereo I've got are some lousy Tevion speakers. :(

watcha loling at, nederkanker

embarrassed this hasnt been posted yet

youtube.com/watch?v=DYc24BjGigg

arschlog

>tfw ywn hear this again in Liga Eins
:\

Headie One is /bundes/.

>"my whole team buying these germans, looking like leverkusen"
youtu.be/S3_gnoshmtM?t=148

>"all we was attack like Robben and Drogba, we didn't need no Makelele"
youtu.be/ByaAJGFlVbk?t=180

He has more lines about Ribery, Robben and Bayern but i can't find them right now.

ugh

>still 29°C in my bedroom
I can't get more than naked! Fucking kill me fämpaitachi

I eat ice cream to cool down my body, try it

just embrace the heat into your heart famalamalampsenpachi

Doesn't that just raise your core temperature in response?

I'm going to sleep now. Have some 21min of peak 90s Cologne.
youtube.com/watch?v=dX1w_i3RT68

thanks but nö, Cologne culture is the purest form of cancer, thank god the arabs took over

>Cologne culture is the purest form of cancer
we take great pride in that. thank you very much :)

...

idk, but I feel cool for a good while

jz 1

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just a little sicheres ding for the weekend

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terrible idea

Based. I also need to come up with some new gimmicks with the start of the new season.

JACOB ITALIANO :DDD

fugg x-DDD

lol!

youtube.com/watch?v=kSR7-zbSWe0&

>the face of neoliberalism is a teenager with a developmental disorder

And people still don't get why populism on the rise.

Kiel-Sandhausen will be your downfall. Sandhausen has hart aufgerüstet this summer.

based

aua aua mein kopf :(

Mats poste noch mal 1 von deinen lustigen minions memes^^

user pls, just donate your gambling money to the /bundes/ fund instead

the /bundes/ fund for cute grils e.V.

>Rekordverpflichtung kündigt sich an: Hertha BSC erzielt Einigkeit mit Lukebakio
*kneels with pride*

I know other anons are sometimes bambozled why there is no top 4 club in our capital, but the problem is not that Hertha is mediocre but totally boring.

THIS is what you're going to miss if you don't watch le Tour de France today!!!

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>other anons
Johanns Ausländer anons though. Germans know why there's nothing great in Berlin.

yeah, I probably should've been more precise

you wont make me watch roidroll. it's simply way too boring.

>Nkunku
>Wolf
>Lookman
>Ampadu
>Luan Candido
are they going to be elite or shit?

mountain stages great. Just turn on your tv and let it flow. Take a nap, shitpost on Yea Forums and every once in a while embrace the beautiful french landscapes. And if you know what counts, the last 1-1.5 hours are usually pretty exciting.

Which Wolf are we talking about? the Dortmund one?

RB obv

Funny. II looked him up. It's Hannes Wolf from their farm team

>Beinbruch - Rückkehr unbekannt

*Mountain stages are great

>Full name: Ademola Lookman Olajide Lookman
baka

They have NailsGOD, so elite.

Why don't you come on over Valloire?

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good post

ich bin AUSländer
(AUSländer)

the ABSOLUTE state of the bundes' opening fixtures

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>don't watch our league.png

comfy if you ask me

Lukebakio at Hertha vs Bayern. Should be good.

Bayern - Hertha has a slipping potential
Fuckenburg - Mainz should be pretty even
Dortmund - Augsbourg is either a blowout or a slip
WOB - Afriköln should be pretty even
Leverkusen - Paderborn same as the Dortmund game but even more extreme. Boschieball is either going to fuck them 7-1 or Paderborn will win 0-0
Werder-Dussel even midtable mätch
Mongbach->schalke a bundes classic
Eintracht- Hoppenheim clash of the trainwrecks
Poonion-RBL Union will be shat on but they can't boo Leipzig too much because they only field negroes (smart strategy imo)

>because they only field negroes (smart strategy imo)
>it keeps getting more extreme by the day

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someone make a new thread

I think it's funny how he hasn't done anything since leaving Leipzig and his market value on tm remained completely untouched. if a bundes player doesn't play for a year, his market value gets destroyed.

...

This has epic lulz potential. Have some predictions:
>Bayern-Hertha 1:1 (last minute equalizer by Lukebakio)
Bayern with their shitty transfers and prison Uli farewell drama may turn into a burning pile of shit if they do not win this.
>Mongbach-Schalke 4:0
David Fagner BTFO. Huub Stevens call incoming.
>Leverkusen-Paderbrooklyn 0:1
Monsanto Leverkusen will be absolutely raped by Baumgarts filthy catenaccio. Getting more desperate every minute, in the final minutes of the game they receive the 0:1 (Babacar Gueye header) after a counter attack. Like a bosz!
>Freiburg-Mainz 3:0
Freiburg will beat Mainz with the help of their fast new Korean wingers Woo-yeong Jeong and Chang-hun Kwon who look exactly the same, which is way too confusing for a man who enjoys the simple things in life, like Mainz defender Alexander Hack
>Frankfurt-Hoffenheim 3:3 (after 0:3 half-time)
Big early lead by Ho$$enheim, however, based Adolf H. will know how to handle shit and save Frankfurt from losing, bringing in the right subs/half-time bantz
>Dortmund-Augsburg 3:2
A seemingly easy match against Augsburg, however, with a lot of slipping potential. Lots of goals and a close win (a controversial goal by Götze, which he scored with his gut, decides the game)
>Union-RB Leipzig 2:0
A surprising and deserved win against an exhausted Leipzig team whose players are all still pretty tired from the Africa cup
>Wolfsburg - Köln 2:1
who gives a fuck?
>Werder-Fortuna 1:0
A shitty game decided by a late Pizza goal

have a (you) for your efforts

>>Wolfsburg - Köln 2:1
>who gives a fuck?
Hattrick by Modeste

>welt.de/sport/article197416037/FC-Bayern-Manchester-Citys-Trainer-Guardiola-gibt-Leroy-Sane-frei.html
guess who’s coming to bayern, bitches!
FUCK CHO
FUCK SHAREHOLDERS
AND FUCK MY WIFE PLS
SHE NEEDS A REAL MAN TO SATUSFY HER

N

slept with my shareholder blanket instead of my normal one, worked like a charm.

Are you guys ready for a new era?

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