>talks shit all week >calls himself a Mustang among Fiats in MLS >goes on to score perfect hat trick against main rival >celebrates first goal in front of LAFC bench >knocks down and fractures LAFC player's cheek bone after LAFC were trying to play dirty >after the whistle, GK coach for LAFC confronts Zlatan. Zlatan tells him to "go home bitch" on live TV.
Zlatan is an absolute alpha. Messi is an autistic onions boy manlet, and Cristiano is a closeted homosexual. This board should be a Zlatan board.
Based. Reading the assblasted redditards reactions to his banter was hilarious.
Luis Sullivan
He still has good physical ability and a powerful shot, he's never relied on pace and playing against shit MLS defenders and GKs is easy mode. A lot of his goals are down to really bad goalkeeping
Ryder Hernandez
I know it's a marketing ploy. I know we're all being suckered into this pantomime. I still want to follow the MLS to see what Ibra does next.
Jackson Walker
lmao
Oliver Fisher
Hearing the sports commentators saying 'El tráfico' was a bit embarrassing, but then again mexican descendents are probably the majority of mls fans.
Jaxon Fisher
He went to the MLS too soon.
Jackson Rogers
This was actually based. Reminds me of Romário circa 1998-2002.
Carson Bennett
THE DESTRUCTOR OF LAC SALÉ VILLE
Leo Cooper
He need to work on his spinning kick.
Cameron King
I think el trafico is kind of funny, which is rare for such a cringy league.
Angel Thomas
Absolutely based
Austin Harris
Based ZlaCHAD
Jose Moore
thanks for bumping our thread, please watch our league
Tyler Foster
Reddit: the footballer
Nathan Brown
Why do Americans dislike chad cocky athletes like Zlatan?
Jonathan Thomas
>Straight onto national late night talk shows within less than a year in the league >Remains the same dude
I get that it was supposed to be a joke. but it doesn't work the same when it is some pundit on TV trying to hype up the game.
Parker Jackson
>he replied to the thread in less than a minute
Tyler Walker
what arts in the last 2 centuries did French create?
Thomas Jones
>He still has good physical ability and a powerful shot not so easy to do with 37 when you've been playing at the highest level for 20 years and even suffered a career ending injury in your last european season
Alexander Ross
I'm pretty sure they follow Mexican football more
Connor Butler
What art has Russia ever produced? Sending million of untrained barely armed boys to die in waves isn't art by the way
Easton Harris
>"When you buy me, you are buying a Ferrari. If you drive a Ferrari, you put premium petrol in the tank, you hit the motorway and you step on the gas. Guardiola filled up with diesel and took a spin in the countryside. He should have bought a Fiat."
Logan Martinez
best literature in the world cool movies dashcam videos
Ryder King
The term 'based' gets thrown around a lot but honestly, Zlatan embodies the word. He chats shit but never gets banged, has a massive ego but owns it and has performed brilliantly in pretty much every single relevant league.
He enjoys being the centre of attention so I could fully imagine Zlatan demolishing the Japanese 2nd Division at age 50 and learning just enough of the language to call all the other players pathetic manlets.
Jacob Wood
What do you want him to play for?
Gabriel Sanders
Torres mogs the shit out of the J-League defenders, Zlatan probably wouldn't even bother jumping
Tyler Long
Zlatan is gay btw, there is a lot of evidence for that.
Nolan Lewis
MOGGED.com
Hunter Jenkins
everyone in Sweden is gay, that's irrelevant
Jose Cox
True
Jaxon Bennett
Lose weight fat fuck. I know it's you.
Kevin Davis
This time I agree with the macaco
Juan Bell
>best litterature in the world top 5 maybe
Lucas Powell
it's down to taste really
on a side not every French book I read made me want to kill myself, and I don't mean it was badly written, but it just seeps negativity (except Poilu by Barthas, I liked it)
Brandon Butler
Based immigrant showing true Viking spirit
Brandon Nelson
Zlatan could never compete against the big boys in football (Messi, Ronaldo, Iniesta, etc), only performed in stacked teams and didn't do shit for Sweden, on top of being a gypsy. I don't know why you guys idolize this retard so much, I guarantee you he will be forgotten 5 years after his retirement.
Juan Perry
man couldn't commit though.
only 1 team he played over 100 games for.
a legends career history is 300+ games with 1 team then maybe 100 with a smaller team.
in the end he'll be known for brief flash in a pan brilliance with no lasting legacy.
kek he literally was the third best player after messoy and penaldo for a few years.The guy shat on every league he was in and talked a lot of smack aswell. Also there is no shame in not winning the champions league many all time greats didn't. He will always be remembered he shot a ton of impressive goals and won every league he went too. He literally had the last title of italy before Juventus dominated the league for 7years.Even when he was old as fuck he was good enough for the Eplel before his knees exploded. And compared to Ronaldo he isn't a cringy narcisstic psychopath.Yes the guy is confident but he also can take a joke,TSU is literally super emotional and seething if something doesn't go his way.
Nicholas Ortiz
Honestly this
Cameron Ross
le scared to play in big leagues man le never played a world cup man le mercenary man le get relegated with juventus man
Jonathan Adams
What's the point of MLS, it's embarassing for everybody involved.
Adrian Diaz
I would bet money that the top teams from MLS like LAFC can beat the big team from your league.
Adrian Reed
that's true, but the MLS is plastic as fuck
even if it keeps growing and your clubs get as good as the best european clubs, the mls will still be a joke
Lucas Long
Plastic, but MLS is starting to poach a lot of talent from places like your country. We've been poaching great coaches like Tata and Barros Schelotto, and good players too.
Logan Morales
I know that, and I already said, you may get on the same talent level as Real Madrid or Barcelona but you'll always be a joke
1. your clubs are like 20 years old and they have no history 2. you are located in a shitty continent so you won't have competition 3. you have no rivalries since you only allow 1 club per city besides LA and NY 4. you have no relegations 5. you have no youth academies and part of a club history is producing good players
Ayden Nguyen
It's nice to see someone find their level.
Colton Ross
Tarkovsky, Eisenstein, German, Sokurov et al are some of the finest masters in cinema AK the art of the 20th century.
fpbp literally who? i will stick with messoy and penaldo fucking burger
Xavier Perry
>italy on world wars achievements do not
Ryder Nguyen
He’s a Slav
Cameron Johnson
>mexico on achievements cartel records dont count
Carter Russell
This
Caleb Evans
He was still fucking good at United IIRC
Alexander Murphy
It's the opposite though
Ayden Murphy
All top euro leagues are plastic as fuck. South American clubs are the only ones still with soul
Ethan Martinez
Don't they do that every single year?
Nicholas Ramirez
Every major sports team the world over is plastic. Either you're rooting for a multi-million dollar corporation or you're watching shit tier amateur footy on a dirt pitch and gushing over the "soul" of it all.
Chase Williams
>le scared to play in big leagues man He played in Italy, Spain and England tho m8
William Nguyen
>basedbert Yikes
Asher Brown
Maybe for you. Domestic football here is good right now
Zlatan's a very good player but not as good as he thinks he is. He's right about MLS being full of shitters though
Jacob Watson
>all time top goalscorer for Sweden by 13 goals >Scored vital equaliser against Italy in 2004, claiming MoM and his goal was voted goal of the Euro tournament >scored against Greece and Spain in Euro 2008 group stage >scored goal of the Euro 2012 tournament against France, also selected in team of the tournament >started the comeback from 4-0 down against Germany in an important qualifying match, guiding Sweden to a 4-4 draw >destroyed England with 4 goals in a friendly, winning the FIFA Puskas award in 2013 >scored 8 goals (including a hattrick) in the WC 2014 Qualifiers >almost singlehandedly dragged Sweden to the 2016 Euros, scoring all 3 goals in the playoff match against Denmark >better than 1 in 2 goalscoring record for his national team >Swedish football of the year 10 times in a row >9 times Ballon d'Or nominee
There's only so much you can do when surrounded by mediocre players, he did plenty shit for Sweden but you're simply too much of a jealous dweeb to recognise it.
Gavin Smith
Zlatan doesn't either making him /ourguy/
Jaxon Baker
Scored la liga winning goal against Real Madrid in Barcelona's quadruple winning season
Jose Campbell
It's good yes but the premier league is still plastic. Lower leagues have soul but I was strictly talking about top divisions
Michael Morris
Those are farmer's leagues. He played in the eredivisie though, which makes him based.
Jaxon Bell
Zlatan was part of a poor overall Swedish generation. The era before had a decent and competitive midfield and the era after has structure and quality defense. Zlatan's NT had neither, being forced to play with >Lellberg, >Lelmander and >Lellström, lead by a quack called Hamrén.
Zlatan was the only thing we had to look forward to seeing during NT matches, because the rest of our team was just an endless shitfest.
Dominic Watson
Most Americans love cocky athletes with actual personalities. Its just the basedboys online who whine about stuff like this.
Jonathan Johnson
>a redpilled American Woah
Samuel Young
debt doesnt either, domitri
Colton Hernandez
They were underrated in the 1st one tbqh
Hudson Adams
he is muslim he doesn't even look slav
Joshua Cooper
he's 1/4 croatian (christian), 1/4 albanian(muslim) and 2/4 bosniak(muslim)
Jeremiah Foster
based but also cringe
Sebastian Cooper
It was and always has been /zlatan/, autistic manbabys all about "muh messi never dives" migrated here a couple years ago
Eli Sanchez
bretty gud at balet
Asher Young
shooting down airplanes. and crashing their own
Ayden Lopez
all of that is true. he's still flash in the pan. his trick shots will always be forgettable compared to lasting impact of boring workhorses like paul scholes
Ryan Peterson
he cant switch int team. he already picked sweden
Jace Adams
That's how Balkan Slavs actually look like. And I don't believe he's religious at all.
Adam Cox
(you)
Andrew Bell
dude that's marketing scandals generate revenue it is a crappy league so they need this gossiping. think WWE
Angel Harris
>muh Harry Kane is World Class though
Evan Smith
I always hated this faggot but after this weekend he's pretty based
P.S. another, note the year in the filename. before decent photography was invented having a genius like repin paint you would have been the only way to create and preserve an image of yourself.
0 goals in the World cup 6 goals in the Euros (group stages only)
That's it. Even Tomas Brolin had a better record. The fact is that Zlatan ALWAYS sucked in the big games, both in the national team and the CL.
Charles Lee
Top 3
Alexander Watson
>come last >don't get relegated What did MLS mean by this?
Nolan Brooks
All the shit he did in Italy is irrelevant because the league was fixed. Inter was the only team not punished despite being involved in the scandal as well. He was never the third best player in the world at any given point Torres, falcao, RvP, agureo, Eto'o and villa were all better than him. No successful team ever used him to lead the offense he was always second fiddle except at psg where he accomplished nothing of note. This homo was always a big notch below the big boys. The world cup qualifier play off between Sweden and Portugal in 2014 shows the difference between an elite player like CR and a choke artist like ibrahimobitch
Oliver Phillips
Not a fan of his attitude. He's just jealous that he's never been truly loved by fans like Ronaldo, Messi, Henry and others.
Grayson Jones
Ibras "problem" is that his quotes come off very differently in text than they do in person.
You can see in some of the interviews where he says all this ridiculous shit, but with a smile on his face and a joking manner. It's just his sense of humor.
James Hughes
Nigga, Ibra has been consistently at a top level for a long time. Fernando Torres, Falcao, Eto'o reached a very high level but then fell off. Aguero comes close, but just look at Zlatans output at PSG. Almost a goal per game. Villa was a Valencia-tier player who just happened to be very clutch with the Spanish national team.
Luke Perez
david villa was immense my man, he could bang in free kicks, could take it past his man then finish, was quick, and he improved Barca's forward line (did Ibra?) If it wasnt for that legbreak in december 2011 supercup, david villa would have been a mainstay of Barca and they would not have become a bit shit between 2012-14.
Samuel Cruz
he's a catholic gypsy lol
Tyler Powell
Sauce me broski
Justin Evans
>muh history
Camden Reed
Baserat
Brandon Hill
>basado
Henry Garcia
BASED ZLATAN COME FUCK MY BOIPUSY RITE FUCKING NOW YOU KING
t. LEO
Brayden Gomez
MLS meant to adopt the franchise system which keeps parity between teams roughly level and prevents a handful of rich teams from dominating the league. You know, like how it is in Yurop.
Isaiah Brooks
>france contributed damn near all of modernity, along with spain and germany, and damn near all of post-modernity along with spain and germany >russia redefined the east during the cold war, its cultural impact via expats in literature is only met by americans and surpassed by no one >have the shit you know about science, you know because of a russian It's fucking ironic that, as an American, I know more about the contribution to global culture of some other country than anyone else in the world. Both of you should seriously reconsider what you've done with your life to arrive to any age older than 12 and not know and understand the serious contributions to global culture that the French and Russians have had.
Caleb Cox
It's not ironic. We do know the most. We just don't need to shill about Yuros the way they do about us desu
Aaron Thomas
>its cultural impact via expats in literature is only met by americans
British literature.
Noah Ortiz
You’re mostly right but there are actually some very good MLS academies. You should read about FC Dallas and LA Galaxy’s academy. RSL and Kansas City will also be very good in the next few years.
Jaxon Johnson
don't forget based Bulce Academy. they lose half their kids every year
Henry Phillips
cuz hes not black. they would be praising him non stop if he were black
Austin Torres
>1. your clubs are like 20 years old and they have no history >m-muh history, m-muh soul C O P E
>2. you are located in a shitty continent so you won't have competition This is one is true. CONCACAF will always be a mickey mouse confederation because it's 2 rich countries surrounded by dirt poor banana republics.
>3. you have no rivalries since you only allow 1 club per city besides LA and NY Since when do rivalries have to be confined to a city? It doesn't work like that in the USA, it doesn't work like that in England or Germany, surely it doesn't work like that in Argentina either.
>4. you have no relegations Part of me wants to see pro-rel in the United States, but if that meant we'd be opening our league up to the kind of imbalance of power that plagues Europe, I could live without it. I'd rather have every team have a fair shot at a title, then turn MLS into another Bundesliga, Ligue 1, or Serie A. The fact that every season is a toss-up is one of the things that makes MLS engaging even if it's not elite tier.
>5. you have no youth academies This is simply false.
He's unironically too busy being a chad to bother with women
Jace Gray
The first two lines are so incorrect that I won't even give them meme arrows >mercenary He plays big, he earns big. Maybe you hate rich people because your spic country doesn't have taxpayer funded healthcare >relegated with juventus Didn't realize he was the mastermind behind Calciopoli
Dylan Martin
CHI
Jonathan Turner
This. Wasting time on women is gay as fuck
Mason Foster
it's not funny either way, are you 11 years old?
Leo Hill
I really can't stand him but exposing MLS like this is pretty based.
Jacob Mitchell
>stop finding funny what I don't find funny!!! leftist detected
Joseph Sullivan
if anyone else made such "jokes" here as zlatan you'd call him out for being a redditor and tell him to fuck off
Carter Long
It's funny though. Stop being miserable.
Carson Hernandez
>here is the same as in postgame interviews fuck off to reddit, Bolek
Henry Long
>2. you are located in a shitty continent so you won't have competition I can assure you MLS teams will be invited to play the CL qualifiers within a decade if they start pandering to American markets
Adrian Morales
depends on what you're talking about. Cadorna was a fucking mongoloid , but the Regia Marina was doing work (in ww2 also).
Samuel Mitchell
>It's funny though maybe 10 years ago not now after same shit every time
Hudson Walker
>mustang among fiats Umm sweetie he called himself a Ferrari. The Mustang is a piece of crap, there are Fiats that are pricier than a Mustang.
Nathaniel Diaz
>4 goals against >us including a fucking bicycle kick You are either a delusional Paki, an underage b& or a mental retard with Memento disease & no long term memory.
David Mitchell
Ibra was THE MAN back in the day when fans liked clutch goals more than stat padding
Ryan Morgan
>this cuck
2004 was the best national team Sweden's ever had.
Kayden Foster
>OGS not GTA: Online
Brayden Smith
The three promoted teams this season are all pretty based tbqh
Adam Richardson
This is true, I'd have an old Fiat Multipla any day of the week
Jaxson Hill
>Still being this mad he called France a shit country on live TV
Lincoln Cruz
>didn't do shit for Sweden He carried Sweden until he retired since all the good players retired after the 2006 world cup. He's the top scorer all time in the Swedish national team ahead of all others and the statpadders from the 30s-50s. He mogged England by himself in the opening of our new national arena.
Nathan Lewis
>should be mega jealous of larsson's reputation Zlatan eclipsed Larsson many many years ago. Zlatan swept the Swedish Golden Ball award every year for like 10 years. Larsson is even more forgotten since he got his local side relegated from Allsvenskan as a manager.
Jaxson Young
>16 goals at barca
messi fucked him
Michael Thomas
It is known that Zlatan tried to make Messi his bitch and overthrow him by seducing Pique and the rest of the scatalans. He even eat real in his first match. This was too much for Messi to handle, so he with the help of Barca board forced Poop to fuck over Zlatan and then sell him to AC Milan.
Joseph Lewis
Messoy unironically couldn't handle not scoring goals and told Poop that he (skinny, manlet) should play in the middle and Zlatan (tall, 300lb) should play on the wing
