/heem/ Enter the Schaubrealm Edition
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results:
Asslad Flushed
Faber's still got it
Ryan Hall is a faggot
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Cuckby "Cuckos" Cuckington
Now THIS is a main card (only virgins hate Hardy, the man is truly kill or be killed).
>I am from future. Dustin will be defeated via Guillotine choke, two minutes into the third round
ASPEN WASN'T OUT
Cejudo after he beats nunes
How can I achieve this natty?
>3 heavyweight fights
This is either going to be just bleed or a gassy shitshow
Hardy got paid $150,000 for his last fight and he's a can. Shenanigans, man.
I don't think even Tony beats Khabib unless he just bloodies his face until the nibba can't see.
The Internet would literally be on fire right now were it Schaub vs. Rothwell 2 this weekend.
He's a drawl. This is sports entertainment. Do the math B.
Andrei ArLOSSki 18L
Connor Ruebusch is already getting worked up over Hardy.
I'm legid asking if this is a trannie match?
Cringe at arlovski, rothwell, oleinik still fighting
shut up triple
Come in my guard bitch
What is a good sportsbook for mma?
Make me
He's not even in guard you dumb sub-Russian.
I better cut my dick than watch this fight
Get eziekiel'd imo
Based. Hardy is /ourguy/
>A 2.5 underdog Arlovski is free money in 2019
*GADOOSH*
Hall bless
faber's coming for that belt, boomers rise up.
Coral you're a spaz and will likely die a virgin if you don't stop larping as a 24/7 watchdog for Schaub's honor on Yea Forums you fucking weirdo
*GADOOOSH*
Invicta would be happy to have trannie fights.
Pretty hungover and hungry /heem/. Wanna crush some greasy fast food but I don’t know what
Schaub is THE journeyman of the ufc. He easily could have been the hw goat but sacrificed himself for the betterment of the sport. Respect
how does mma help you to stop a bullet?
I've accepted I'll die alone, I'm not a watchdog I'm just a passionate fan. Stop worrying about me. Why not criticize the 24/7 haters?
Has everyone forgotten that Nate is a can? Why is Pettis only a -115 favorite? This is as close to free you will ever get. $1000 on Pettis
Just double leg it, bro.
Do we call arsepiss lard "tub of shit" now?
Yeah im thinking that's based
i have to eat from the cubbort today.
>this is still up
I'm glad you asked. MMA fighters train here:
instagram.com
use a rolling pin
Pettis is a can too and he gets melted by pressure fighters
pettis is a can too.
ANSWER ME
What is a good sportsbook that allows you to bet on props like method of victory and round?
how Herb Dean's wife would do in mma?
>stomp stomp stomp
>grasp some air
>stomp stomp
>throw a punch and miss
>stomp stomp
>takedown
>5 min of leg humping
they are both garbage
Its factual, why change it.
Pettis has the hottest wife
thats not james vick
imagine how bad other sports would be with USADA
It's over, racism.
>Arlovski vs Rothwell
Fuck, what year is it?
brehs
top 10 p4p
that's not rda
>I may have never beaten Khabib, but these hands are still heavy enough for you, user!
>has big cans
>marries a big can
pottery
wheres the conor one
cancer = fights like maia vs moddaferi
ric flair = ari emanuel
Vince = Dana (remember dana is a vince fanboi)
wwf = ufc
killing the wwf = killing what made vme buy ufc.
NWO = Ryan hall, Dern, Dan Hardy, Mike Perry, Masvidal etc
I swear everything makes perfect sense when you realize that Dana has literally taken a WWF storyline and turned it into reality.
He's literally killing of every drawlable meme in the ufc and replacing them with fighters only hardcore fans can like. (fx Hall).
He's doing it to either completly destroy ufc or somehow buy it back from VME.
This explains everything Dana does.
youtube.com
Well as long as you know you're a loser
Big baloogas on heavy women don't count
I'm told I'm a loser by everyone so it must be true.
Bet365
they count when my face is between them
lowtest
You can still change your life. Just stop obsessing over a shitty human being like Schaub. If he ever met you irl, he'd make you into one of his shitty "funny" stories.
Also, stop wasting your time on Yea Forums. Heem in particular is 90% garbage. Now I'm gonna take my own advice and bounce. I suggest you do the same. Good luck.
What's next for tub of shit?
>imagine when corner gets that soft lighter old man voice
Arby's is always a good choice
*GADOOSH*
Bill Cosby looks like THAT?
>The drug testers were in. As anyone who has been drug tested in sport knows, once the drug-tester introduces himself to you, they have to stay with you or you have to be in their sight the whole period of time until you finish giving your sample.
>Roy is doing his team-talk and going around to a couple of lads, 'one week I look at you and you're controlling the game, the next week I can't find you on the pitch, but it's OK because I don't blame you. I blame your parents for the way they brought you up.'
>It depends how the lad takes it but everyone is different. The last lad he went, 'do you want to be a footballer, or do you want to collect piss for a living like that fella?' And all you see is the drug tester in the corner and the poor fella didn't know what was going on.
Based Keano going over drug testers clean
>americans have x17 more fast food options than over here.
Uhhhhh USADA?!
he looked like this last weekend
>tfw conor will look like this in 10 years
Not available in the United States
What's the story behind this picture? It gives me a spooky vibe
How tf did he manage do beat Crocop?
I feel that's the biggest tarnish on Mirko's record
>r*ddit the post
>Yes, I do try to attack women at bagel shops. How did you know?
japanese mma is fixed
>He doesn't know..
no one tell him
what are they putting in those bagels?
Brehs, I was so close
he now has a lower IMDB score than amy schumer
Cringe.
should have spela'd nigger
m.youtube.com
25:20 on for a few mins
Bisping bfto Aspen BIGG Ladd
>drop down to 125
>aspen ladd
lol
maybe she's binge eating but when she's not in the gym she's literally hiking all day, she gets up at 5 in the morning and goes out into the woods for hours before going to the gym
7 rocks minimum
Doesn't explain why she's built like a dishwasher. Walking your dog isn't a workout.
mini khabib wasn't nervous about the gun she was nervous about showing her teeth
Dont give up user
Its the easiest and worst thing u can do
, and take the other anons advice
Its worth fighting
13 miles in the backwoods/10,000 feet elevation isn't walking your dog
out there 7 days a week
also has that meal plan sponsorship
the only thing that will help her is adderall
Can't wait to see Borg miss weight and have his purse cut before being shaubreamled in the first. That manlet crybaby bitch needs to be retired from this "sport" permanently.
Pettis is the favorite lmao easy money boys.
no way conor ages this well
>I’m thinking to myself, clearly Jamal is a basketball american, ok I’m thinking Jamal can give me a nice hair cut and a shoeshine, maybe after I'll introduce him to Joe's wife, I don’t disbriminate.... then after ten hours this huge dude comes out and says *puts ok sterotypical asian accent* "HI MR BIG AMERICAN MAN I JAMAL ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME CHING CHONG THIS BE WORST PAIN OF YOUR LIFE" ... HE WAS ASIAN AS DOG SHIT. DICEY DICEY. *30 min applause break* I’d feel way more better about this if I needed help with math or some chinaman shit"
It's irrelevant she's naturally a terrible athlete nothing will help her
Bookies love him.
In many ways Aspen Fatt wasnt a meme at all
>Ryan Hall is the UFC leader (among fighters with at least 4 fights in the octagon) in striking defense, with his opponents connecting with just 25% of strikes they attempt. He is also ranked second for fewest strikes absorbed per minute at 0.96, trailing only Islam Makhachev (0.83).
literally too high IQ to get hit
Momma Ladd is that you? Don’t you have some tater tots to be cooking for your hillbilly kids?
Post Rory's Wife
>Aspen Fatt
>Ben Asscream
>Luke Chinlethold
soon on espn+ the california middle age guy heem colon cejudo
he tries so hard to be like conor. it just comes off as a try hard
>Still no promotion picked up /ourboy/
A godamn shame i tell ya
nm found it
That's a caveman
Faber already had as many undeserved title shots as Holly Holm and Frankie Edger combined. I know the ufc is desperate but surely they're not at that stage yet.
>Fight? Nah I'll pass.
*sniffs another line*
>Pure Christian Girl tames a psychotypal cagefighter into being a good family man
It's like a daytime movie
until the cte kicks in
I unironically want Faber vs Cejudo
looks like you lost the war, old friend.
Big, HUGE fan of WMMA and Thug Rose here.
wifey material for sure
>Propah DoubleDs and nice digits, YE!
>high elbow
Ngannou been training whit Marcelo Garcia
Expect him to pull guard next fight
Place your bets NOW people
So is Tony vs Khabib really not gonna happen
>If you want to guess the move Masvidal used to heem askren pause the video.
>Okay. If you guessed Flying knee to the face congratulations. You're an excellent flusher of bums.
>stupid brainwashed cunt manipulated CTE'd MMA has-been into her mind control cult
Yeah r/wholesome fer sherr my guy.
why are his arms so small?
the bantamweight division is not so exciting atm so it might works
i already simulated the fight using custom created mii fighters in super smash brothers, i can confiem it's a controversial split decision in favour of ferguson
Heh... I see you're a fellow intellectual. Keep roasting those religitards. Good day, fellow gentleman. *tips fedora*
i agree nate is kind of a bum but i like him because of his top 5 GOAT brother.
just hoping for a slugfest for 3 rounds and a decision win for nate because pettis is turbocan and i rather see nate talk shit to some top 10 fighter
>user 1 likes x fighter and says he’s good
>user 2 disagrees with him and says something like “for sure x fighter didn’t got heemed by Y fighter”
why you guys do this
Why do the most talentless players talk so much?
>Toilet Till
>Latrine Ladd
>Urinal Urijah
>Outhouse Ortega
>Gent's room Gustafsson
>Restroom Rockhold
>Washroom Woodley
>Men's room McGregor
>Potty Poirier
>Loo Lee
Add more
A WC
>Any Conor McGregor thread on any site
>Comments section filled with names like Abdul, Mohammad, Hassan, Bashar etc.
> "Khabib no.1 best!"
>You got smeshed jajaja fuckk mctapper!'
> "Khabib best Alhamdulillah!!!!!"
Annoying fucks.
>cesspool cerrome
>diaper dodson
Litoilethuania
Keane? Literally one of the GOAT midfielders. He fucking won the treble as captain.
it was the same with mcgregor fanboys when he was on top. it's fucking annoying
>Loo Lee
>Zumba Zabit
Like the fucking paddies didnt do the same a few years ago
you want the spoils of a win but not the humiliation of a loss? typical remoaner.
>Poopoo Pettis
>tfw muzzies stop answering my replies after I call the "pedophile worshipers"
No fun
I think I could heem Ryan Hall in one punch
t. boyed a glass chin bum who is 100% forshure a munster
*Heel hook your fist*
I just tell them Muhammad was white and they worship a white man.
The hadiths literally details Muhammad's white body and beauty constantly.
The jig is up. Turns out ya both were pretty big faggots
Pigsty Penn
Not brainwashing anyone, just calling it like I see it. Rory used to be an interesting personality in MMA as well as a good fighter, whereas now he's yet another insufferable godfag, can't wait till he finally flushes himself.
Kaka Kowalkiewicz
Pissoir Poirier
>Heh... I see you're a fellow intellectual.
lmao
>seething fighter x fans
You're boy got flushed, deal with it
it's one of the pillars of /heem/ fight analysis.
Bathroom Borg
peach of a metacommentary
It's the heem's way or the high way, y'blockbuster
post oil checks
Portajon jones
#notmyboi
ya seethin
not an oil check B
Isn't today the malignancy mcregor's birthday
LOL
Prime Jon Jones loses to flushed Chuck Liddel
Who?
Junkheap Jones
>user 1 likes a undefeated 2 time bjj world champion and says she's legid
>user 2 disagrees and brings up irrelevant points like the fact that she has a boyfriend of her own ethnicity and that she once weight a little more than required (even though it all went to her bunda and tits)
why you guys do this
My absolute sides at this lack of self awareness
Damn, that looks rough
indian beach borg promised to retire if he misses weight this saturday
Niagara Ngannou
should askren vs masvidal be no contest because its a fluke?
compost heap conor
Let it be known that it was I, the one who coined Lavatory Ladd.
>user likes fighter x
>user disagrees and refers to a picture of fighter x standing next to a joo
why do you guys do this?
Is Khabib the modern day Aleksandr Karelin?
Scat Zingano
Glory Holm
why are u so obsessed with some random bitch who doesnt even know u wtf is wrong with u
based Croat. Mirko would be proud. I just hope you're not the same guy that spams pictures of black women for hours on end and seems to be "friends" with spammy and the rest of the misfits. that guy is a shame to your country.
He's #1 fag.
Shut the fuck up cunt, queenposting croat is hella based.
karelin was a can competing in a meme sport
greco roman wrestling isn't wrestling
when does that happen?
>when the winner thanks god
Karelin was an experiment..Khabib is an idiot
start making eye contact in real life you hostile sperg. that's the first step to curing your sickness.
Karelin was the greatest wrestler of his time. Khabib couldn't beat anyone decent so he had to study sambo
lol Greco-roman wrestling is the first and finest art of wrestling.Ask Randy Couture
Angle vs Karelin. Pride rules.
>this retard arrives right on cue
so this is what being a NEET is like. you can be an anti-Khabi watchdog 24/7
Needs a filename.
no it isn't.
also randy is a cuck with a small penis
'Murica culture
why does the first guy step away? did he ejaculate? he goes for a titty twister later though
Holly Holm @ Jackson Wink
Do you understand that literally nobody but a few muzzies like him here? Moreover Tony is still an undefeated champ
At least use a name so I can filter you
pettis is a top 10 fighter
its a porno
stop watching Randy Couture masturbate creep
yeah like I'm gonna trust some seething virgin whose sole mission in life seems to be talking shit about someone who doesn't even know he exists on an anime forum for pedophiles
>Diarrhea Dos Santos
since you know what im talking about you've watched just as much as i have, if not more, since youre the one sucking him off.
btw greco roman is bad
Will Edgar bring out Jade?
Who can defeat this beast?
You need to be on some next level of delusion to think that I care about your emotions towards me, mate. Do whatever you want
I doubt you care about anyone's feelings. you're very clearly emotionally crippled due to your life circumstances
Daniel "WC" Cormier
The card last night was terrible to say the least. It's been a long time since we had an equally shit card, could go as far as to say it was the worst UFC event to date.
Whats the difference between freestyle gay sex and greco-roman gay sex? And how does folkstyle gay sex fit into this?
Yeah it was bad.
pic related
don't worry about the difference. the fact is people like us who wrestled all our lives could anally rape you and you wouldn't be able to do a thing about it because you're weak and have no grappling game. let me know when you want the gay sex, honeybuns.
Acanda "chubby" Pooper
me
based tony poster spitting truth like bars
Daniel Cormier
The fixation on anal rape makes me think that you prefer greco-roman style
Whichever one of you is tagging mmacheeks is doing god's work
Cope
Cormier has a better resume than Jones, this can't be disputed
I didnt want to tell u this but every summer we practice Greco-Roman on American tourists in greek islands
lol
I did freestyle and Greco in HS and folk in college. I do have a thing for soft European peasant butts.
Can't wait to stretch you out, sugar booger. ;)
Ben's still my boy lads
>reek thinks he has to defend greco roman wrassling despite his country not being particularly invested in nor good at it just because it has "greco" in the name
When I first saw the card I thought it was a joke. They filled an entire card with prelim fighters.
*heems you*
His resume is great, but Jones walked through multiple champions in a row including DC twice.
It's not "wrestling", it's "gay sex"
Don't tell him. His "coach" may get into troubles for it
Jones's best win is cormier and he needed steroids to do it
Actually cuz you don't know shit about Greco-roman in Greece we use boxing+Greco-roman wrestling=pankration to be killer machines
can't wait to practice with you xx
You don't think the top of the MMA world is on something? Everybody takes supplements and some form of PEDs, you can't be natural and fight 2-3 times a year.
Only thing Cormier is on is popeyes my dude. You better believe it
Imagine bragging about stuffing your face into dudes crotches your entire life
I EASILY heem everybody here
This is a sad sack of shit opinion, just because jones is a cheater doesn't mean everyone else is.
whatever happened to lithcuck?
>le hit their head very hard man
Is fakenewsman the male nicco montano?
Ray Borg is /heem/'s low key boy because he revs people
Stay strong, user.
>he redpills the normies
There aren't any gay men in Greece and all the gay porn sites or threads are locked in Greece.You don't have permission to watch them(unauthorized content).Two faggots dont have permission to marry in Greece thats why all the greek they left the country and now they live in US,Germany,Finland,Croatia(some are friends of Stipe Miosic)France,Australia,Lithuania
They also teach pankration in schools
>tries so hard to be Conor
Imagine thinking this
Thiago Alves (fighter)
Viscardi Andrade
B
Ali Bagautinov
Josh Barnett
Phil Baroni
Vitor Belfort
Joey Beltran
Rony Mariano Bezerra
David Bielkheden
Curtis Blaydes
Stephan Bonnar
Brian Bowles (fighter)
Diego Brandão
C
Alex Caceres
Cynthia Calvillo
Cortney Casey
Kevin Casey (fighter)
Rafael Cavalcante
Donald Cerrone
Jake Collier
Kit Cope
Wesley Correira
Paulo Costa (fighter)
Mirko Cro Cop
Cris Cyborg
D
Carina Damm
Edwin Dewees
Nick Diaz
T.J. Dillashaw
Robert Drysdale
E
Brian Ebersole
Ashlee Evans-Smith
Jessica Eye
F
Carlos Diego Ferreira
Jon Fitch
Hermes França
Riki Fukuda
G
Kelvin Gastelum
Louis Gaudinot
Fernando Gonzalez (fighter)
Lyman Good
Royce Gracie
Melvin Guillard
H
Dennis Hallman
Walt Harris (fighter)
Pat Healy (fighter)
Dave Herman (fighter)
this big nosed fuck is a god damn legend
>first double champ
>ended the Aldo meme
>Holloway, Poorier, Alvarez, Mendes
unironically a great legacy
in a danish brothel "greek" means anal sex.
that's nice sweetie
James Irvin (fighter)
J
Lavar Johnson
Jon Jones
K
Mark Kerr (fighter)
L
Cung Le
Chris Leben
Andrea Lee (fighter)
Kimo Leopoldo
Brock Lesnar
Héctor Lombard
M
Lyoto Machida
Ruslan Magomedov
Islam Makhachev
Nate Marquardt
Doug Marshall
Tim Means
Yancy Medeiros
Gilbert Melendez
Augusto Mendes
Chad Mendes
Frank Mir
Jeff Monson
Augusto Montaño
Nicco Montaño
Johnnie Morton
Pedro Munhoz
N
Paweł Nastula
Emanuel Newton
Alexandre Franca Nogueira
O
Sean O'Malley (fighter)
Brian Ortega
Alistair Overeem
P
Rousimar Palhares
Karo Parisyan
B.J. Penn
Jessica Penne
Robbie Peralta
Q
Vinicius Queiroz
R
Jessica Rakoczy
Kevin Randleman
Jason Reinhardt
Mike Richman
Matt Riddle
Francisco Rivera (fighter)
Yoel Romero
Ben Rothwell
S
Junior dos Santos
Brad Scott (fighter)
Ken Shamrock
Sean Sherk
Jake Shields
Alexander Shlemenko
Kirill Sidelnikov
Anderson Silva
Antônio Silva (fighter)
Thiago Silva (fighter)
Wanderlei Silva
Dennis Siver
Kimbo Slice
Chael Sonnen
George Sullivan (fighter)
Tim Sylvia
T
Mairbek Taisumov
Thiago Tavares
Jesse Taylor
Gleison Tibau
Francisco Trevino
V
Marvin Vettori
W
Jim Wallhead
Fabrício Werdum
How do you know?
Lmao
>flushed heavyweights
>le NFL wife beater vs le missing link
he outgrew this shithole
I wouldn't do that bro. I would stuff my dick in your cute little butt though and nut as I feel you struggle and cry
So would Ngannou heem Jones?
HEEMS
YOU
INSIDE
greeks btfo
how is his legacy when it comes to title defences?
Maybe 5 or those guys are just for something like THC which is not a PED. That's a massive fucking list guys. Every gym i've trained at there are always people who are slinging PEDs behind closed doors.
you visit this brothel often?
i wanna tell you he's a bum but his last 3 losses are to literal champions. still, nate diaz heems him, i guarantee it.
We'll never know
title defenses are a meme, everybody already forgot about DJ and Silva
from the the brothel.
french is blowjob,
yes
I prefer having your mom come over.
now be honest
did you think this before 239?
beating DC is more inpressive than anything DC has done
yes. Ngannou has the longest reach Jones would ever have to go up against along with being much more built and having an astronomically larger amount of power than anyone else Jon has ever faced. if he can't take Ngannou down early, I see it being really bad for him.
>fook age!
what did he mean lads?
heem
every
elvish
manlet
what kind of old man will corner be?
Not if you need steroids to do so
Cazzies truly believe every bullshit story that Rogan and the UFC start pushing. It is embarrassing.
Here is one of many redpills: DC did not fight at lhw out of respect to Cain Velasquez, he fought at lhw because he wanted to be a cutbabby
you're too tight for her strap desu
unfortunately that does not hold up because USADA has determined the picogram found in Jon’s system to not be able to influence the outcome of a fight
I knew this.
*dodges commission to fight elsewhere*
Ngannou has over-hyped power many hit harder at HW.
who?
If Jones isn't a cheater then why was his last win over Cormier NC?
How long till we see him in BKFC?
I would off myself if I was a literal McNugget.
he's finished JDS, Cain, and Blaydes in like 3 minutes total. his power is extraordinary. I really doubt anyone currently at HW hits harder. the dude hurts/drops people with off-balance and weirdly angled shots.
they felt bad for DC after he cried on tv
Nobody says he's not a cheater, but everybody including DC has cheated (towelgate). If you don't cheat, you're not trying.
he gets flushed in bare knuckle, somebody young will counter the fuck out of him after he is done blowing his gas tank in ten seconds
Because he fought a roided nig
Only an idiot like you would compare taking steroids to tugging on a towel. Just goes to show how braindead Jones fans are.
imagine being so pussy whipped that you dislike a fighter because of steroids
can jones still beat dc if he was allowed to be fat?
fershure 100% fighting for a championship overweight isn’t cheating b
>Shane Carwin
>Mark Hunt
>Fedor
That's HW, he easily could have lost those 3 in the same way.
or missing weight in a non title fight. I mean who cares.
>DC fans
I though we bullied all you guys away already
The scale didn't lie, he made weight. Keep crying
neither does USADA
well yeah, anyone can KO anyone at HW, but Francis does it consistently and quickly to others. plus, Stipe hit him with some flush shots and they didn't faze Ngannou all that much. his chin seems quite good.
anyway, even being compared to Carwin/Hunt/Fedor while no one who's currently active above him logically proves that his power is for real.
Or beating their spouse in a psychotic episode fueled by drugs and alcohol.
/heem/ is a bully free zone
Daniel didn't get suspended, Jones did LOL
Is he going to be okay?
Unless he's fighting Krazy Horse he needs to hang 'em up
>i-i got a yuge dick joe
>has to post the hardest hitting legends in the sport who aren’t even active anymore
>they’re actually debatable too and looking at it logically you could put Ngannou right alongside their power
yeah I’m thinking your whole argument is unbased
This is a DC general, stay mad Jonescucks
based Ameribros BTFOing the subhuman Ozzie with FACTS and LOGIC
>suspension lasts a year
>shame of crying in an octagon lasts a lifetime
>being the goat lasts an eternity
>LOL
The Ngannou-Miosic was staged.That scam Miosic.What were the odds in bets that night? Ngannou since the start was moving like he was hypnotized or something.They staged the fight for DC to came up in hw after Jones fiasco and fight Miosic otherwise DC would never have a chance to win Ngannou
pic related:Stipe Miosic soon
>three dudes with the most overrated power ever
yeah, nah
You can only post ITT if your boy didn't get beat up so badly he started crying in the cage
based
whats a good betting site, wanna put 100$ on pettis.
dc cucks btfo
Implying the crying on TV even bothered Cormier, he's not an insecure fag like Jones.
>taking steroids
>goat
Sure thing Mr. Dicklett Jones.
Fedor doesn't hit harder than Ngannou. The other two arguably may but I doubt it.
kek you're a good sport my friend. Bobby bless (though I wouldn't be that upset if Izzy beats him, he's an exciting, high-level fighter as well).
>Putting money on Pettis
Bookies ARE ENAMOURED WITH him
Get that DC drumstick out of your mouth user.
jones crying because he realized he's a cheater with a dick that doesn't work
Showtime is back
Nate Diaz only way to win is a submission or if Pettis gets injured, I like a TKO for Pettis or decision.
wastebasket whittaker gets flushed by zoomersanya
bet365 is the best but is banned in some countries
Bovada is easy to use and good format but only offer straight bets and parlays
5Dimes is what the neckbeards use
>i-its only okay for Jones to cry!!!
>He's the GOAT!!!
The state of Jonescucks
>Pettis
>Literal .500 fighter for the last 5 years
Jones fake cried to get over with the audience, DCuck cried because he got his ass whooped
Why you faggots so obsessed with Schaub? I get that he makes more money, gets better women, and has a better life than all of you... but why the obsession? Just to hate on a man you will never come close to being?
based
Nobody considers Jon Bonerless Jones the GOAT LMAO
He got flushed by spammy
gotta look through the fights to see what's the literal free money. sometimes it's painfully obvious karolina vs claudia/andrade, gdr vs ladd. it's tough because i don't watch mma
He beat Thompson, the most technical striker in welterweight and dropped Tony Ferguson... do you realize how insane that is? Nate lost to Conor.
>I-id like to apologize to Daniel Cormier
>i-i-failed my fans and team
>I am a steroid cheater
Lmao
>Dickass
>literal .500 fighter his entire career
I would genuinely rather be my wageslave self than inhabit the body, soul and mind of Schaub
he is crying because he was wrongly accused of raking performance enhancing drugs, as has now been proven by USADA
meanwhile DC cried because he got knocked out by the exact move he told everyone he wouldn’t get hit with
The purpose of Schaub's current career is to damage the UFC and JRE brands by association
RDA wins
Hardy wins
Vick wins
Hernandez wins
Holloway retires Edgar
Cyborg earns the rematch
Neal BTFOs Price
Tsarukyan ends the Tristar meme
Lawler BTFOs another crotch-sniffer
Shevchenko wins
Luque struggles but gets the W against Perry
Vieira lands on the cazzies' radars
Gane becomes everyone's HW darling
Fiziev redeems himself
Miocic retires DC
Nate gets the rubber match
Romero puts Costa into a coma
Sandhagen retires Assuncao
Yusuff wins
Bermudez triangles a mofugga
Andrade gets imprisoned in a Chinese black cell for murder
Khabib 50-42's Poirier
Makhachev wins
Taisumov starts another KO streak
Mustafaev heems Madge in a kick-off
Felder beats Barboza and comes out as gay
Krylov CTEs Teixeira
Crute the Brute kills Misha
Cannonier heems Hermansson
Gunnie gets the split over Alves
K1 Khalil destroys another Moldovan can crusher
Izzy TKOs Whittaker
Kron retires Cub
simple as
>more views than any of his winning octagon interviews excluding the one Brock Lesnar carried
HAHAHAHHAHAHA
I’M POSTING IT
>fake news!!!
>betting on the guy who tapped to a body triangle Vs a lanky jitsushitter
>betting on the guy who got corner stopped Vs a volume striker
>he is crying because he was wrongly accused of raking performance enhancing drugs
>wrongly accused
Holy kek fans of Jones are as dumb as rocks
you and I both know that basedjak likes DC and not Jones
not debatable
>HAHAHAHHAHAHA
>I’M POSTING IT
DC cuck has gone off the rails
DCeething
>you and I both know that basedjak likes DC and not Jones
>not debatable
>Implying jones meant any of that because he's a sociopath
You're a literal brainlet.
>le ebin natty BONES!!!!!
>SOMEONE GET THIS BOY SOME PROPUH TWELVE
Jon Jones has never tested positive besides a few microscopic picograms of nothing speculation is not causation.
kek what's spurred this random DC/Jones shitflinging lads?
Haven't experienced this in a while
Leave DC alone
>Daniel Redditier fan reduced to seethingly posting wojaks
Another easy win for the Jones GODS
why does bloodyelbow hire such weirdos
there is a single DC fan who came back after we bullied him away two years ago
>Another easy win for the Jones GODS
He was micro dosing, if he were telling the truth he'd have a nice lawsuit like Yoel Romero, but as colby said I guess Cormier contaminated his salad with steroids.
based phoneposter
>99% of heem
>ever having worked for anything
lol come on son. people who train are almost always extremely humble and understanding. you can tell almost no one in here has ever been to a gym, that's why they're so bitter and hateful towards everything. it's their own insecurities.
got nothing to talk about so they invent this shit. last night's event was one of the worst in ufc history.
HEEM ME UP
(HEEM ME UP INSIDE)
CAN'T HEEM UP
(HEEM ME UP INSIDE)
HEEM MEEEEEEEEEE
Is anyone here actually delusional enough to think they get out of rd 1 with me
>up
caz
name a single good atheist champion
*kicks you in the face*
*rolls at your legs*
>being too much of a zoomer to get the song reference
18+ only
>Bulgaria
More of us than not.
I'd drag your ass to a split decision and you know it, bitch
yikes don’t make DC cuck look good, caz
Did Elkins solve jiu-jitsu? When he leglocks you literally just stand up and move away. How the fuck is jiu jitsu real ahahahahhahaha
Lukas how do you think CBASS will do against Cejudo?
twitter.com
>being this much of a caz imitating other posters gimmicks incorrectly
LUL
Just take the L zoomer
no you quit being a newfag
oh no no
Concession: accepted
Looks like it's a 10-8 for me but maybe I'll give you a rematch sometime buddy.
is he spammy?
Will be interesting to see if Asscan can break his emerging streak of getting absolutely blasted within the first 5 seconds of a fight.
It's happened twice now.
What's wrong with this guy?
Cringe
once he goes up against toilet till he will be redeemed
cursed by God
Nothing, we’re the problem
Can masvidal sustain his streak of winning fights he shouldn't win?
Imagine seeing Askren shoot for the takedown without any feint, lead-in or speed and thinking he deserved to not get heemed for it
who's the worse """athlete""" aspen ashtray or ben bidet?
aspenladd
Verified
Shit happens. Fighters fight; and hats off to my opponent, Germaine de Randamie for being a class act. You miss every opportunity you don't take and this fight career of mine is a marathon not a sprint. I had so much support in that arena last night, and feel truly humbled by that before and after the fight. Thank you to everyone for the massive showing of care and support, and on to the next one....p.s. trolls and basement-dwellers alike I block on the first offense so its really not worth the effort; however you can take that negativity and shove it right where the sun dont shine #ufc #california #norcal #shithappens #ontothenext #mmagold
>I block on the first offense
well you didn't
llllllllollll
>Germany
Speak for yourself you nazi fuck
Is that the Red King
not only beta to block people but it's a stupid career move. you don't even have to respond you'll have your fans constantly arguing for you instead of literally only "keep your head up champ" comments
Who are the top 5 jewish MMA fighters?
In many ways i am the GOAT
This doesn't even look real.
The one and only
MMA has been solved
How fucking thin skinned are you to preemptively tell people you'll ban them from your instagram for saying something negative
1. ben askren
He's completely done with fighting. Drugs and Liquor are all that he lives for now.
Oh god what the fuck
Leglocks only work on cans.
Is that the three-piece guy?
>heavier than dern
probably an auto. unironically like them better than the new one.
Saitiev was the greatest wrestler of all time. Russians getting cucked by superior Caucasians all the time. Sad!
Is Rogan the most talented man in the UFC outside the fighters?
what talents does rogan have?
Sadulaev gonna pass them both
DDS differs. Buchecha, Craig Jones, Tex, and others also use them with success
Why are 2010s era cars so rubbish lads?
>what talents does a self made millionaire have
millennials and zoomers
i was expecting you to tell me he works on cars or plays guitar
He can actually draw quite well.
I'm only talmbout MMA. Leglocks clearly work very well in submission grappling. Just in MMA, only a can would get heelhooked.
Its fitting that BJ Penn would have a marinovich-tier end to his career
that pic is so mid '00s
He still goes down as one of the GOATs. Like Anderson post Weidman 2 the legacy making period is now over and cemented and now it's just about getting in there and giving it your best.
Nah BJ flushed his legacy my guy
Acting, music, calmedy, commentary, charisma, tkd, jiu jitsu, art...
Like him or not, Rogan is in many ways a straight beast. No wonder the CIA scouted this guy.
Doesn't work that way. The clock stopped after Edgar 2 and every afterwards is effectively considered exhibition fights.
He flushed his career my guy
kek what the fuck was the spin before the heem
dude should have pulled out his katana
winding up
extra centrifugal force
every american will look like this in 2040
*ends the magoomba meme*
>america
>2040
lol
who's your favorite fighter on next week's card?
whatever happens connor ruebusch will call the guy an irredeemable scumbag undeserving of life
Yeah Leon Edwards is the guy who Jorge 3 pieced
Only reddit cucks are mad that muh GoT character got punished for trying to pressure a Muay Thai world champion into the cage for a takedown
unironically ass tier gameplan
unless the gameplan involved bringing a gun into the cage she wasn't winning that fight
>Potty Poitier
>not Portaloo Poirier
Remove chromosomes.
dustbin poirier
garbage pail poirier
duskheap pooirier
What's the money parlay here?
Arlovski, Oleinik, and Vick are all dogs. Hardy and Juan are pick em.
Take that how you want.
what a bunch of shitters
apparently AT&T now covers corn husking
Can't they make something to you to change your race so you didn't feel so inferior to everyone. They can chop off your clit and make you a neo-german you now. I bet it's free too
the whole card is a bunch of chinleted heavyweights
this is the anti-parlay card dude
How is this guy not a cromagnon that they thawed out of some glacier
literally jew jitsu
Could CM Punk take him?
is that Kony 2012
>Ben Rotsmell
kek
fuuuuuck why does she keep touching and pulling on them on live tv. makes my dick dance.
literally a fat bag of shit squeezing through the plumbing what a joke
Ladd won the story of the fight
Still now I could keep up 3 five minutes rounds holding myself back, I'd put you in the ground at the first attempt of a roundhouse kick and submit you there
this show is not gonna end well
How would you do it?
oooooohhh
Yeah I lost 200 dollars in parlays in the last card. I might skip this one
>Bruh Bektic is a munster my guy, totally not a turbo chinlet
botulism bektic was never good
>tfw ngannous face but 5'6 skinny whiteboi
>shit house santos
>dunny dos anjos
How does one off themselves without limbs?
she's not fat you moron. She has her belly sticks out a little bit because she has a very strong core. She is in better shape than you will ever be in, and could beat your ass easily, despite you having probably 100 lbs on her, tubby.
Adding posts to this thread so it will reach the bump limit faster and I can post my super cool question at the start of the next thread to achieve maximum responses. And theres not a thing you guys can do about it hahahahaha
whats the question?
is this the famous aspen badd dickrider lioncuck ?
thawlts?
Rate my UFC 3 Bum Asscream career. Got heemed into next week by Nick Diaz and Neil Magny. Got my arm snapped off by Maia
i have no doubt u love getting ur ass creamed. go to sleep u neet
Fat can got flushed by the first punch, she doesn't belong in there when she can't defend against the first combination you're taught.
it was a lucky shot and a bad stoppage. Even Dana acknowledged it was a bad stoppage.
She's fat and she stinks. She'd gas giving a tour of the UFC Hall of Fame
gas as in toot all the way?
I don’t mean to sound crass but I want to see Olivi’s butthole wink.
more like meaged oldivi. she's older than the ufc.
I would heem Joe Rogan and all his butt buddies
Rogan would literally kill everyone in this thread
Consider the following:
Earlier this year, Herb Dean let Robbie Lawler spike Ben Askren on his head and then land 10-15 follow-up punches with no response and then yesterday quickly stops a fight when 140 lbs women lands one punch
The ESPN deal has made the sport become more like boxing. Expect more dodgy early stoppages, expect more dodgy decisions from judges, expect more corruption, expect more nonsensical fights being made. This is the future you chose.
*blocks ALL comments*
Time to delete that image
I'd tap that roided manlet inside a round, kid
The fighting pride of Peru
>people are obligated to have their social media spammed by literal who neck beards shit talking them in low moments
To think I was gonna skip this card...Glad I got to witness the fastest KO in UFC history
if you really think about it Raquel Pennington has the best chin at 135 pounds. Aldana Pennington is gonna be a barn banger.
She's never gonna make it. The only thing small about her is her self esteem. It's weaker than a piece of tracing paper getting stepped on by your mother.
let me make the thread
Sir, would you like a me to stamp your voucher for a free blowjob for protecting m'lady"s honour?
Let Mexico have it. No idea what happened to the Twitch streamer who made the elaborate OPs but I miss him.
Our new thread:
I'm jelly, boys.
Has nothing to do with ESPN. Herb Dean is just a low IQ nigger.
If you’ve ever done endurance at altitude or not you know you get super hungry after (even eating carbs during). She’s clearly not doing much high intensity, rather her body has accustomed to burning a lot and then storing fat once she eats. She’s 5’6”, if she can’t cut lower than 135 on weighin day she won’t last long.
You forgot to add the part where she turns around and you can see her dress eaten by her ass. Never seen dressed form like that. Showing alllll ass